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Stepping into the Light of Purpose and Possibility "Keys of Joy"

• Dr. Roldan • Season 3 • Episode 2

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Imagine emerging from a challenging childhood to embrace hope and resilience. That's exactly what Lia Valencia Key embodies as she shares her transformative journey on the Oroasis Community Podcast. We explore the profound impact of her mother's empowering words, "Your predicament doesn't determine your destiny." Lia's story shines as a beacon for anyone navigating dark times, offering inspiration and strength.

We also discuss the joys of volunteer work and mentoring, emphasizing adaptability, community understanding, and the impact of small acts of kindness. We conclude with an invitation to join us in spreading optimism and supporting initiatives like income generation in Africa. Tune in to walk this journey of mental wellness and boundless potential with us.

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Disclaimer: It's essential to note that while I am a therapist, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy. The stories and discussions shared here are meant to inform and inspire but should not replace professional advice or support. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help from a professional therapist or contact a helpline.



Emergency Helplines

Speaker 1

Hello beautiful souls and welcome to Oroasis Community Podcast. I am Dr Roldan, your host. I am a doctor in clinical psychology, a BIPOC therapist professor and a mindful somatic coach. While I am a therapist, remember I'm not your therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health care, but we have resources in our website and Instagram to support you in that search. Join us for a cozy, felt conversation about mental health, personal growth and mindfulness. We explore tools to care for your mind, your body and your soul. Check the footnotes for disclaimer, trigger warnings and additional resources for each one of the episodes. So grab your favorite cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate, wrap yourself in a warm blanket and find a coffee spot here with us to be kind to be brave, loud and strong in your search of mental health wellness. Welcome to your Oasis. Welcome everybody to another Oasis podcast. Grab your favorite beverage to warm your soul and to warm our knowledge and soul.

Speaker 1

I have a special guest. A friend, a mentor, a light is literally a person that you know, that kind of people that come to your life and is just sunshine. This is Leah. She is just amazing. I met her three years ago in a line. I didn't know who she was. She didn't know who I was, but we just love each other. Because she has this vibe and I love that she always wears yellow and you know, I am a lover of bright colors and I was like how is your? I'm so excited.

Speaker 2

That's exactly how it was, I think just good energy connects and gravitates and magnifies and attracts good energy. So I just love having this opportunity to be with you and every heart that's listening.

Speaker 1

Thank you, and today we are going to talk about Leah's story and how mental health and mental fitness help you to go through a lot of things in life, Because what people see you or see me, they only see the tip of the iceberg, right. All the great things that we have accomplished, you know all the. We're a lot of us. We're trailblazers for our communities because we're the first one to be educated, we're the first one to get out of like the projects, we're the first one to get our business, put a voice out there and because we're the first one, I feel that we have this duty to tell everybody. It wasn't easy and this is the tools that you utilize with. So what? Uh, tell us a little bit about your story, that way people knows. And what tools or what do you grab in the way? So let's start from where we all start and when life gets really hard, which is high school and middle school.

Speaker 2

Oh, there you go, um, and tools that I still use because I'm consistently working on my mind. The mind can go out of control and it can spiral you into very dark places or you can control it to shift you into very light, energetic places. So I'm always working on my mind. So I think this is so beautiful, starting in middle school, high school, elementary. I was raised in poverty. I love sharing my beginning, my truth. I was raised to a single mother and my mother had three children. I was the youngest, I am the youngest, my mother's no longer with us, she's deceased Sister and a brother and myself.

Speaker 2

We were raised in a very impoverished neighborhood and then my mother had a tragic accident where she fell and broke her leg and that moved us to. I call it destitute because little things that she could do to try to pay for this little basement apartment in a rough neighborhood she could no longer support. So there was a moment she was getting us meaning my brother and sister and I home from school and we got to the door and there was a padlock on the door and that immediately all of our little belongings we had were locked in this basement apartment and my mother with three children had no place to take her children. So that put us in a woman's homeless shelter, and I described the woman's homeless shelter the first day we landed A blackout a lot of tragedy. That's one of my tools shelter.

Speaker 2

The first day we landed A blackout, a lot of tragedy. That's one of my tools, because I try not to harbor on the dark things, never forgetting but never allowing things to keep rising up in my brain. But there's a moment that I so remember so clearly and it was the first day we landed in the homeless shelter. And the shelter was a big gym room, dark, filled with cots. If anyone knows what a cot is, it's metal beds, these little metal beds one foot apart, and each family got one cot.

Speaker 2

So that means four bodies mother, three children are balled up on a cot with their little belongings. There's crying, there'saning, there's profanity and hopelessness filling the air. And in the midst of that my mother looked down at her three children, me included, and said your predicament doesn't determine your destiny. And I love sharing that because I think that is one of my keys, or tools, if you will, for mindset and mind power, because you can imagine we're in this dark place with nothing, and my mother, I say she was paralyzed by fear and generational curses. She couldn't physically break out of this construct that she was born into, but she used the tool of word. I start to speak life into it. So I speak opposite of what it is, to what my inner heart knows to be true about it. For example.

Speaker 2

We are in that dark place and she's like yeah, this is your predicament, Doesn't determine your destiny. So that immediately frees up your mind to say there's something more for me, there's something bigger or possible. I continue Now. I call it a seed because all things I I think words are power and when you use those as tools.

Speaker 2

We got to remember that words don't automatically change things, but they do make an impact and they are leading your life, because now, 44 years later, I'm 44. Those words have grown in me so much that I'm sharing them with you. So I love to say, first of all, what words are you speaking into your life? What words are you speaking in your mind? Before you even speak it out, like sometimes, we think, oh, I'm not good enough, oh, I always make this mistake, oh this, and we're speaking that into our life. So then we become that we're planting those seeds that we think are just responses, but at some point they're going to grow. So I'd love to encourage you to reframe the words that you say in your mouth or in your head and to other loved ones, and speak life into your life, speak life into the life. Now, this seed was just a seed at that time, because I was a child and I still started to become my environment.

Speaker 2

We lived in a homeless shelter for a few years and I started to become negative. Following doing everything, I was failing every grade in school and I'd love to share another. I'd say this is where a real life was turned on in my life. I'm feeling every grade Now about when we first landed in the homeless shelter. I was about eight. That puts you in what? Elementary. So if you fast forward, I'm now like middle school-ish, I'm about 11. And I'm coming back from school to the homeless shelter and I see my mother at the head of the door and she looks very serious. And we all know when a parent is looking serious or any authority is looking serious, you know something's about to go down. So I get there in front of her and she's like Leah, do you want to be a follower or leader? And I was confused and she said because right now you're following. You're following everything that you see, leah, and guess what?

Speaker 2

You're going to be everything that you follow or you get to choose to go inside of you and you get to choose to lead. There's an inner light inside of you, there's a whisper that will divinely pull you and lead you to your destiny. All you have to do is choose to lead yourself. And she walked off and she said you choose. So powerful to me because it truly immediately, in that moment, unlock this concept of choice that I didn't know existed, I didn't even know. I thought, whatever, this is what we do. They do it, I do it, it's our thing.

Speaker 2

And then, when my mother re placed something in my brain to say, oh no, no, you actually have power in you to choose and you can choose, opposite of everything that you see, because what's truth is inside of you. And my next key and tool that keeps my mindset back when it goes off is realizing when I'm outside in the world, following things, because that means I start to compare, I start to get depressed, I start to feel less than I start to all the things that the world is showing me, I start to embody. And then I realize, oh wait, but there's an inner truth inside of me and that's where all the power lies. And then I realized, oh wait, but there's an inner truth inside of me and that's where all the power lies. And so I go back inside of me and I start to listen to myself and I quiet out all the noise and I start to realize, leah, what's true for you, what's whispering in your heart? What is God saying for your destiny, for your next move, for your actual next response, even that current?

Speaker 2

And who did you decide to be in the world? Because the world is telling you to be that, I mean. And maybe someone said something negative to you. And then you see the normal replies to be negative because that's how you win, or you trample over people, because that's how you win, because you've seen it done. But is that true for you? And so I go back and I'm like, oh, is that reply true for you? No, so then what is true for you? And I start to really analyze who do I want to be in the world inwardly, and then I can come back outside of myself and curate my actions based on my inner truth. So I follow that all the way to deciding to choose everything within me and knowing, like no matter what's tangibly in front of me, my inner whisper. I call it a God whisper. Whatever you all want to believe or follow, my godly whisper is the truth and I'm going to hold on to that and follow that and I am destined to be all that I'm called to.

Speaker 2

Be all that I'm called to be so, even when my brain starts to tell me something different, or I fail at something, I make a mistake that may look like I'm not destined to be in my calling. I go back and say no. If it was told to me inside of me, then that's the truth and I'll keep going to that tree, and that's how I'm able to sit with you today.

Speaker 1

Yes, and to follow that. I love the power of choice. So many people that knows me, doesn't know only a few, knows this part of my life, like when I first seen from not a single mom, but she was widow. We immigrate here to the United States with no lick of English. I speak other five languages but not English. Not a single mom, but she was widow. Uh, we immigrate here to united states with a no lick of english. I speak other fine languages but not english.

Speaker 1

You know, I was like I never told I needed little, that you know, right, um, so we immigrate here and we were homeless for six months, the same right. I remember the cut, the disparity, the smell, but I didn't understand what people were saying, I just felt it right Because the energy. And then I remember my mom too, said you know, this is just circumstantial. You have two choices you will beat it or you will beat it, wow, and I was like what, how am I gonna beat this? You know, like, like yes, and and then you know, after that, you know, six months or so, we find uh, uh inside houses, uh, jobs, so we have a roof, and then we say we have our little apartment and little by little we climb right.

Path to Greatness

Speaker 1

But it was always that power of a choice and like the little bully that we have in here, right, it is magnified, I would say and also my mom, as wise that she was. Uh is that she say, if you listen to everybody around, you don't even know what tune you're singing anymore. Yeah, because we were musicians back in the day, and so you know, like, when you say the power of choice, that has been a tool that I have used also, is the choices easy? No, they're really hard. You spend many cries, many, many why, why, why's, but at the end of the day you know you were meant for greatness when I say greatness.

Speaker 2

Greatness depends off everybody. It's relative. That's what I say too. It's your destiny.

Speaker 1

Greatness has no picture, right, it's your picture and then it's like we are the uh generational breakers of trauma. Right, we go through the don't get me wrong, we did. Yeah, it's just going through it, thanks to the therapist, thanks to the coaches, thanks to whatever you use to get out of that side, because we do sometimes need mentors, guidance, to quiet that bullying and understand that rejection is just redirection to a destiny right.

Speaker 2

Yes, feel worthy.

Speaker 1

So your surrenders, meaning your community, is so important, either one to make that choice harder or easier, or to make you feel that you do not have a choice so in your life because, um, I don't know if my audience know, but she is super amazing.

Speaker 1

She was like with oprah in, like uh, it was um worthy uh like new show maybe, yeah, yeah, with gb and it was like we, we got a new Oprah guys, a new generation. And you know, the funny thing is like I bring that up because when I was little, you know Oprah was or a babysitter, you know, because she's always sitting there, yeah, and I told my mom always, one day I will be in Oprah blah blah blah, I'm always, one day I will be in Oprah blah blah blah, right and. And then I got your invite and other stuff for the show and I did the, the VIP thing where, and I was next to her, like in the in the zoo, and I was like to tell you, you make my dreams come true with that, and so that is meaning choice, right, I had the choice of like back in the day. I dream about it oprah retired will never happen.

Speaker 2

Blah, blah, blah it's a person that is trailblazing, that is defying what society says is true and literally living out their brightest potential. Right, that's undeniable. When someone just keeps going, no matter what, and they soar to all of what they dream to be, that's undeniable Right.

Speaker 1

I always tell my clients you know, we're the villain of somebody's story. You can be the nicest human being, but we always the villain of somebody's story. I know it Not because we want to, it's because, life right, I'm a villain of somebody just for the skin color that I have, the gender that I have, the facility that I have. So, talking about that, tell us about your educational background and career background and how you got here.

Speaker 2

Yes, oh, it's such a random path, uh, so I always love sharing that, because you don't have to walk a straight path like go inward and just follow it and sometimes it's gonna look very interesting like really well, because I was the first and only person, after that beautiful um enlightenment that my mother gave me, to go to college and, first of all, only person in my family and in that neighborhood, uh that I was raised in to go to college. And I say college and college is not the end-all, be-all for everyone. I believe it. My big dream, big, big, big dream, with as Valencia Key we'll talk about that um creates this avenue of um support, is to build a big school that educates and license people through a trade from inner city um less opportunity, environments so.

Speaker 2

But it's not just college, but for me, the why for college was I had to see outside of my environment you spoke of that like I had to get out of what's around you because what's around you is so powerful, like that's another key that you utilize immediately, because you are what you take in and you can fight the demons and so much in your brain and outside of you, but for so long. But I've always said negativity is stronger than positivity, I'm sorry to say it. And so if you got a whole bunch of negativity around you, it will pull you down and, yes, you can survive, but it's just even harder and harder. So if you can find a way, maybe you can't move out of your environment Like that's not possible right now but you can get yourself in places that equal the balance of positiveness that you experience, right. So maybe that's joining different groups that are free. Go into the library, that's free, and you meet people that are readers, and then they have a group that these people like to talk about, you know, and so now you're adding this positivity back in your life.

Speaker 2

So I knew at a young age I don't know how I knew I needed to see beyond what I was in, because if my mother said my predicament doesn't determine my destiny, ok, that's amazing. But I got to see something different. So I had asked my teacher, like how do I see something outside? And they started exposing me to after school activities and I exposure, I feel, is the great equalizer. And then I realized like, oh, college is my way to break out of this environment. And so I went to college for that reason and it was a blessing for me and I got my education and business. And then my mother told me to complete things and I got my master's in education and that was wonderful and served me for what it served me. But then I realized like I was following the world and I was running from this thing called poverty. I was trying to do things so I wouldn't be hungry again or so I wouldn't lose a shelter again, but it wasn't feeding my soul, it wasn't lighting my heart alive. And so I went back inside of my inner soul, like my mother told me. But before I did that, my mother did get to see that I was choosing and my mother passed really early. You know, I don't think she really lived when, when she had started having her children I can't speak for prior to her children, but when start having children up, I don't think she lived a day in her life and you can be living physically and dead, yeah, and so when I see that, I realize no, I've decided to live every moment of my life meaning, following what my heart says and what my mother saw right before she left this earth.

Speaker 2

One of our last conversations was oh, I see you choosing, I see you leading your life to your light and towards your destiny your light and towards your destiny. And she added that life is very hard and sometimes it's going to cloud things and you're going to forget that you do have the light inside of you. And so she handed me these little earrings and she said so wear your earrings every day, like every day, put them on, look at them in the mirror and let them be this physical reminder that you have the light with inside of you, just like you're choosing to put your earrings on. All you have to do is choose the light. We're back at that power. That. It's that reminder that we radiate within the world. Condemn our light, but we have the key that will unlock it every time.

Believing in Dreams and Creativity

Speaker 2

And so that caused me to start hand sketching jewelry designs, just for me. I was from poverty. I don't even know how business started. Honestly, I'm just trying to follow what I think to be true. So I'm hand sketching jewelry as therapy, what it would look like to be symbols in the life.

Speaker 2

And then I decided with this master's degree that it wasn't serving my soul. So I went back at myself and I was like, so what, what makes my light really bright? Like where do I radiate in joy? And it would always come back creativity, like I just loved creativity. And I was like, oh, that's a cruel joke because I'm from I'm 44. So back in the day it wasn't a lot of social media to see artists really thrive in art, so I thought that it was not a lot of money in art. And I'm like, oh, what makes me radiate also can put me back. This is not.

Speaker 2

So I started to realize like, well, how can I make it work? And I share that is because anything you want to do in life is possible. Valencia key to be these wearable symbols, that anything you want to do is possible. You literally just have to sit with yourself to figure out. How is it possible? Like, maybe it looks like one way to me, but there is another way that maybe I'm not seeing or thinking of. That fits the picture. And so I start to model and I'm like oh, hair and makeup is creative, like I'm creating on people's faces all in hair all day long, and it's an industry people pay for, so it serves both.

Speaker 2

So with a master's degree, I went back to cosmetology school. That's why I want to open this trade school, because, to be honest, I really didn't start making income until I got my cosmetology license and I went all the way back to cosmetology school. My mother said complete things. So I got my instructors and cosmetology license and that opened the door for me in such a big way.

Speaker 2

At first I was sweeping floors with a master's degree to learn. I shared that because don't let your mind trip you up. Mental health happens too. When we think we should be somewhere, we should, we thought we should be and we thought it should look some way. And then you start getting all down on yourself because it doesn't look this way and I shouldn't be here right now and it should be this way. And then your mind goes in this negative spiral but sometimes appreciate why you are where you are Like, reframe your intention of what you're doing there and then find a reason why and then how you get out. So my tool of sweeping floors with the master's degree was I wanted to learn.

Speaker 2

And this was a way for a salon to pay me pennies, pay me to learn, because I knew that learning was priceless and I knew that learning would take me to where I wanted to be. And then, as I was doing that, I was doing these multiple jobs, working for Met Cosmetic, bartending and at Met Cosmetic. I always ask questions, so another great key is to talk to people in such an open way, like my real big thing to help my mind is ask up meaning, pray to God or whoever you believe is bigger than you. Put all of that clearly out and like clear, like clear, like and let it sound crazy Like God. I want to work in the art industry and I don't want to have to worry about sales, but I want to make enough money that I can support myself and like, really see it clearly and then share your dreams out. Yes, share it out to the world, get it out of your body.

Speaker 2

We deal with a lot of mental struggle because we allow so much stuff to circle inside of us and we don't let it out, and that's painful and that's torture. And when you let it out from a poverty background, it was told don't tell people your dreams, they'll kill them, don't. People will just, they'll just stamp on it. And then I realized, whoa, you are the keeper of your dreams. You are, you are your dreams. The only person that can kill your dream, take your dream, destroy your dream, only person that can kill your dream, take your dream, destroy your dream literally, is you, because God gave it to you. God's not taking it away. God is sitting there with open arms, like I am your vessel, use me, walk towards me to this dream and I'll take you step by step, me to this dream and I'll take you step by step.

Speaker 2

And if you allow, people say that's not possible, oh well, how would you do that? They're not killing it, you are. When you get faced with those things, you just realize, oh, oh, they're not. They're not where I'm at mentally, so I can't share that with them. I'll talk about Netflix with them, like we could talk about. Yeah, I'll talk about my dreams with somebody else. You know what I mean. And you start to find your people, but share your dreams out in such a big way the reason is share them without expecting anything to, yes, everyone.

Speaker 2

You and you could be in front of someone who you think is the key that can make your dreams come true, and all they need to do is hear it and you get that opportunity. You're in this expectation space, like if they hear it, they'll do fill in the blank and it'll change my life. And so then you share it and they don't. They didn't kill your dreams. You did, because one human is not your vessel. When you're asking your dreams up, god is already aligning your earth. Angels in play to take you one step further or five step further. And the person that you shared, that didn't do something, wasn't aligned, aren't for it. They could have, but it wasn't part of their mission. It doesn't make them a horrible person, right. It just means you weren't aligned in their mission of blessings at that time. Keep sharing it and then some heart will be assigned to a part of your journey. And I shared my dreams out that I wanted to work for QVC for over five years. I got five years of no's, five years of those no's. I cried through it all, but every time I was like but I'm going to work for QVC, like crazily, like in the book Worthy by Jamie Kern-Lima. I'm going to keep coming up because it's so powerful, like, if you want to talk about mindset, get the book Worthy by Jamie Kern-Lima. I'm going to keep coming up because it's so powerful, like, if you want to talk about mindset, get the book Worthy by Jamie Kern-Lima. She talks about you're not crazy, you're just first. Because what happens is if you start speaking something out consistently when everybody says no, it's going to seem crazy, it's not crazy. You just haven't done it yet and people don't really believe what they don't see. And you've got to believe what you don't see because you see it in your heart and so I would share it so much just to get it out. My body. And one day, a beautiful heart named Fred. I was bartending and I told him randomly that I want to work for QVC. He smiled twice. That was my barometer. If he smiled twice, I'll tell him and maybe use that. It's not going to serve me. It took me five years for it to work. It finally worked and this beautiful heart saw my energy.

Speaker 2

And when you're in a moment of going towards something or going through something, even if it's not like a career dream. I'd encourage you to not be the struggle to not act, the struggle to not energize the struggle Meaning, if you're going through a rough patch, don't be nasty, don't have a weighted, horrible energy. Everybody that you come across. Don't have a woe is me spirit, because all that's gonna do is bring more woe is me. But if you're living through a struggle but you choose to just come out as joy and come out as light, even in your trenches, like right now, I'm a small entrepreneur You'll read all these beautiful things that I've done.

Speaker 2

I'm struggling in my business. I am struggling. I don't know finance. I don't know how to build a structure of a business. I am struggling, I am praying. So if anyone knows anyone that wants to work pro bono with me until we get the dream to happen that my angel is going to come with that gift. But I say you won't see that when you meet me, because I don't choose to let that be my energy that I radiate out and that's what I did in my early phases I would radiate light and joy in this heart. I told that I wanted to work for QVC. Uh, said oh, I work for Comcast and my friend works for QVC. I can do a day later. His name was Fred Stephanie Humphrey. I get a text from we're dear friends now. She had never met me a day in my life, but Fred had told her how much beautiful, joyful, light-filled energy I had. You see the transition Like how are you in the midst of your nest?

Power of Exposure and Wearable Symbols

Speaker 2

is what's going to help you out of it, because people will feel your beautiful spirit and if they are aligned and assigned to you, they will take you a step out. And so this Stephanie Humphrey text me and say here is the contact information, the phone number, the email address and use me as a reference. And you've never met me. Five years of that walked me after listening to Stephanie Humphrey, following her direction. I had been studying and preparing and I got a yes to walk into QVC. That was magical, because now I got to see business owners. I'm styling people in the salon now.

Speaker 2

Exposure is your power. If you're listening, if there's something you want want to do and be or come out of, go somewhere that's going to expose you to it. And maybe you can't afford these expensive events that are wonderful, they will change your life too, but maybe you're not there yet and you can't afford that. Well, find a free. Maybe go to the park and find people that are just in a joy playing volleyball, join a random volleyball game. I bet you people that are outside in life are joyful and radiated about life, and when you put yourself around this type of mindset, oh, what you become exposed to will move you out of where you are now? Yes, and that's what happened to me. Beautiful Hearts saw my light as a stylist Jamie Kern-Lima one of them. Vicky Sy, founder of Tatcha Skin Care, and Jamie Kern-Lima, co-founder of it Cosmetic, two-time New York Times bestseller, believe it and Worthy. They saw my light in the salon, my energy and my heart and they said come along with me around the world as a stylist. But then they allowed me to sit in business rooms with them and they exposed me to what a PR meeting looked like, what research and development meeting was.

Speaker 2

I didn't know anything about this and I start to realize, as I was styling all these beautiful hearts, the last thing that they would do before they were going out to something big. Their outfit would already be picked, their hair and makeup would be done and they would say what bracelet do I put on? What earrings do I put on? And I start to think about what my mother told me like this power, this wearable symbols when no one else can go with you, it gives you this confidence and this courage and this light, and I start realizing I was hand sketching this and what these beautiful hearts showed me is if you have a real love, a real mission and an intention of a message in the world, meaning all things are possible.

Speaker 2

Shine your light through. All things. Consistently persevere is my intention and message. And if you take it and you pour it and marry it into something tangible and you gift it to the world, when the receiver gets it, it literally becomes life changing. And that's what started me on my journey to create Valencia Key wearable joy, wearable light, because what I know what we need in the world is reminders that yes, it is so, yes, it is possible. And we also need tangible proof so you can wear anything that I create from poverty and homelessness and the world says you shouldn't even know my name and whatever your light is, whatever your destiny is, every time you put it on it's symbolic proof that it's possible for you.

Speaker 1

Yes, yes, and I love the keys that you have given us as um saying you know, um in, nor in my culture I have indigenous, have, uh, the bad guys they call it. But um, I'm from a little country called Guatemala and you know the indigenous people there. We use jewelry as symbols of like grief, as symbols of like love, as symbols like we're open for mingle. You know all that kind of stuff and I remember my mom telling me the same right If you feel ugly or if you feel like crappy, put some earrings and some shoes, because it's the only two things that are not going to change. If you're skinny, if you gain weight, if you're burned and whatever you know, if your hair looks horrible, it's the only thing that you can change. Like this and your mood will change.

Speaker 1

People will notice and, granted, I only back in the, we couldn't use like pierce earrings. I pierced my ears until I was older and I only can use little ones because that you know. But it was also that the symbol of like what can we use that will help you to stay grounded and also for everybody else hearing. I hope you listen very carefully. When Leah said College is not for everyone. This is coming from a doctor, from a professor, all the things I always say. The thing College is not for everybody, in the sense it's not the way for all. It used to for our parents.

Speaker 1

It used to be, not anymore. Now we have social media, we have all the things that connect us to the world. Pick the world Also. Pick what chapters of the world are you going to read? What I'm so grateful about my college experience is not so much of the education. It was more like the exposure to like. I'm a traveler and I was able to travel and do research and stuff about poverty, because do you think you're poor? Go to other countries and see what poverty looks like.

Speaker 2

That's why I do my mission with Ghana, africa. I work with artists in the village of Ghana, where it's no income but they have this beautiful art of hand-beating and there's poverty. Like my father's, from Africa, and he wasn't a good father. So I say that candidly because they're like where was he when you were poverty, not being a good father? But that's because he was stripped from his village, brought here, dropped, with no understanding of love, right, but when he would pop up he would say and I'm in the homeless shelter. He was like oh, this isn't poverty, oh, yes, is not poverty. You have a toilet Like this is not poverty, but it's a shared toilet, but you have a shared toilet to share. He was like when you get to Africa, you'll see, you will understand.

Lessons From Volunteer Work and Mentoring

Speaker 2

And then I start to see the world and I finally got to Africa two years ago and I'm like, ah, I get it, and so my mission through this Beat it Handbag creation that I would love people to support, is that, like we think we have it bad and then you go see where someone else is and then you start to realize, oh, I actually need to help. Yeah, versus, worry about my struggle, and then that'll help raise you out of your own struggle, right and um.

Speaker 1

I remember when I came here to United States one of the things I used to work in after-school programs uh, because I wanted to be a teacher, because that's what I was back home. Yeah, uh, saying right, like it was, like this, is not for me, it's not the same kind of teaching that I used to do, but they used to. I remember they will say the parents will say a lot of the times to the kiddos oh, there is a lot of kids, they don't have food. You should eat it.

Speaker 1

And a lot of the kids was like wellic from Venezuela, when Venezuela was a power country. We'll bring the most wealthy Venezuelan musicians to our country to teach in the villages and almost like mentor little kids and what that creates is humble people that will come with a lot of wealth, help the community and then they learn discipline in both sides and they learn humbleness and love. Um. Moving forward to now, as a professor I used to go and do to ghana and to guatemala and do projects of um. I learned very quick that what we think people need is not what they need.

Speaker 1

So I love that key that you said ask, just ask yeah because, uh, my kiddos will go and say, oh, we're gonna do recycling, and I was like they don't need recycling, they are ready to recycle everything to different things. Right, and in the communities, one trip of my college students will, you know, they will buy the little things, jewelry and stuff. The village will survive for a whole year, for one semester for like $100 of expenses, right. One semester for like $100 of expenses, right. And it was the transformation of the kiddos that I will take, because the way that we did it is like they will go to the city, they will go to a small city, they will go to the county and then they will go to the village beds.

Speaker 2

Yes, that's a difference, and that's what I'm saying. Like, go to the village, and that's the difference.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I always remember this story because one of the girls washed her hair. We don't know and you know she didn't know. She washed her hair and used all the village water so we had to all go like eight hours carrying water to like three miles down and the kids were like they were so conscious after that. So what do I share? This story because the keys that you have game of keep your, keep your momentum with the people that is around you. Sometimes we don't have that people. We have to put that experience in somebody meaning like you have to go find it. Also, I love how you say yes, a lot of mentorships and big programs are very expensive. True, you know why. You do, you humble yourself and you volunteer, you offer your services.

Speaker 2

Volunteering is key. Oh, my goodness, so much magic, thank you for saying that. So much magic has happened in my life because I've done it free. Yes, there is so much opposite outcome that comes from free. A there's no pressure when you volunteer. People are just grateful that you are serving. But what you get that you're surrounded by, oh, so many. My first educational job came because I volunteered as a dance teacher, as a police athletic lead, and through that volunteer I got a director position.

Speaker 1

What Volunteer Thank you for saying that and when you volunteer is where I bring it back to your story of the salon. Right, you know, I was educated, I had my college degree, I had my own school and everything. Back home Coming here, I was nothing, right, I have two choices I can brew in the oh my God, I'm all this Exactly. Or I'm like okay, I don't know nothing, teach me. I was very teachable. I learned the most random things that I don't. That one day will serve me. And it's funny because now a lot of people always tell me how do you know that funny story? You know, and then you tie them right and I pride myself to call myself the connector because I know so many people that I just have served. Or I have crossed paths and I say I can help you, like here this person, okay, I'm not your person, but I know the person kind of like what I love about you is that is that that you share that same thing as we were talking about, saying, right, I have it too.

Speaker 1

I have like three of these as I pass to my clients, like as a therapist, just a psa to everybody as a therapist. This one comes with a workbook. That is amazing. Of course you don't have uh, in minorities we don't have or access to mental health and public health and all that. We have access to a book.

Speaker 1

Yeah, we have access to the library and we can go and learn little little steps Right. And I said that because what you say is Because education comes in different packages. Yes, this is a form of education. A college degree is a form of education. Yes, volunteering is going to give you so much hands-on in so many things and ask questions.

Speaker 1

I am the most. I call it the five-year-old kid that asks people why, why and why Not, in an annoying way, and I love the five keys that you give us Ask questions. You always have a choice. Learn your environment. What do I mean to learn your environment? When I came here, I was very grateful that I have a group of friends. After I learned, I was like, no, this is a great group for cushion right now. But after I learned a lot of other things, I was like I don't want to be in this environment. It's not helpful for me in the sense of like your soul. You always have to protect your soul and, with that being said, is that you will have to say goodbye to some friends, some acquaintances, and some people is going to tell you oh, you think you're all bad and you can still love them from afar.

Speaker 2

You don't have to hate anyone. You're not better than anyone. Everyone has a path to walk and we can't all walk the same path, and I know that you have to be willing to walk your own path, and sometimes your path is alone, yeah, and your community too. When we talk about being around, podcasts like this is power. They're free, yes, but it's beautiful mindsets to just help you cultivate and curate what you know is truth for you, right.

Journey to Self-Awareness and Inspiration

Speaker 1

And to piggyback on that, the reason why I know you is because once upon a time I was listening to podcasts you know, covid to everybody. We were locked in. I'm like, okay, I was listening to this podcast constantly for almost two years At that time because I'm in the field I am is very male dominated, so I have a lot of guy friends. That's my new reference. And so my partner, my husband, was like you know, you seem to like this podcast of girls, right? So what did he do? He buy me like a regular ticket for this event, the event that you talk. And. And then I was in that event and, funny, I was like in the line and somebody was struggling trying to find their credit card or something. And I'm like, no worries, I'm buying you a coffee because I was so happy to be there, because everybody was so loving. And little did I know the person was one of the assistants of the events. She was like, are you in the event?

Speaker 1

And I was like, yeah, but I wish I can go to the, you know, calling your dream, calling your dream.

Speaker 1

Speaking it, yeah, and I was like I wish I can be in the VIP because I want to meet X, y and Z person. And then she was like oh, I can upgrade you. And I was like what? I thought she was like oh, I can't upgrade you. And I was like what? I thought she was joking, to be honest, and I was like I just like, oh, you don't have to, it's okay, it's just a coffee. Um lo and behold, I got upgraded. I met you. I met other people, but the funny thing is I met you again in a line, not knowing who you were, and then when we went to the VIP, we were like how that is.

Speaker 2

But see, it's the energy in which you are in every situation that will shatter the limitations we come with different things that we may think are limits on us. They're not limits. When you become this kind person and being in the world, people will overshadow. Oh, you got the basic ticket. Come to VIP because your soul is well. And I love saying like, can we work on who we are as much as we work on where we want to be, because that's the ticket to move yourself further.

Speaker 1

Invest in yourself first before investing in anything else. Yes, and you know, as a therapist, as a mentor, as a person that is in the world trying to make it a little better wherever you go, I always said live the place better how you find it. Better means clean the restroom mirror. It doesn't kill you. And I bring that up because that's how I met, met Jamie.

Speaker 1

I was in the restaurant and she saw me cleaning the the mirror and she just looked at me and like, like, and then she cleaned it too and she was like, you know, like it's a lot of us, so let's work for housekeeping, because once upon a time I was house again, didn't know who she was. In that moment I was like too, like ditzy, and then Again, she remembered that moment when I was in the line To meet her. I can't and I and many stories Are like that. You know there is people that hasn't been nice, but that's okay, yeah, you know, because there is a multiple Of people that Thinks nice. So I want you to remember, in the keys that Alicia gave us, environment is key. Now, my environment is full of lights, like you and other lights that they don't even know they're my light.

Speaker 2

Sometimes people don't need to know that they're light yet yes, you can just look at people and I think the way I see it is I look at people as inspiration, not comparison. As soon as you're comparing yourself of where someone is to where you are, you know you're in comparison. If you see where someone's at and then you immediately think about where you are, or you see someone do something and you immediately think about what you're doing or what they look like, and you immediately think about what you look like or what they look like, and you immediately think about what you look like. You're in comparison. Dangerous zone, that's a mind destroying zone. Inspiring is when you can look at someone and say they show me, it's possible. You're not even thinking about where you are.

Speaker 1

You just are lit up by who they are as a being and it allows you to move forward in life. For Black communities, hispanic communities, either for entrepreneurship, for scholarships and if you want to get in contact with Liam, and also we are going to, of course, promote a lot of your jewelry. And for everybody out there struggling, please use us as example. Please use us as a borrow or fade. Borrow or believe, borrow or love that there is out. You just haven't seen it, and I know life can be hard and I say take example a, example b life was hard for us too, but if we can make it, you can too. We are not that special no, I always.

Speaker 2

I always tell people I'm like no, you're special, I'm like, everyone is special, every heart, you are special. Who's listening Right? The difference is we don't give up. The difference is we take our trauma and our soil that others would call dirt and we use it as fuel and energy to energize us to be more love in the world, not as to be anger and darkness. And that's what you can do as well, and I'm grateful to be here with you. I'm grateful for you as my friend and for every heart that's now connected with us. I love you so much and I appreciate you all.

Speaker 1

Me too, and to everybody have a beautiful day.

Speaker 2

And if there is anything else where we can find you, where we're promoting, yes, please, I'd love for you to just wear one piece of Valencia Key as that light, that wearable light that you are shining to your destiny. And that's on valencia V-A-L-E-N-C-I-A-K-E-Ycom. Put your email in, join me. I'll always stay connected on what good I'm doing in the world and social media. Buy the Ghana handbags, please, so I can go back and help people have an income in Africa. That's a blessing. And on Instagram, I'm always on Instagram. I need to get other places, but Leah, Valencia Key is personally where you can see where am I in the world, and then for the business, so you can see other people's light, that community of light shining. Valencia Key Design.

Speaker 1

And for everybody listening. Thank you, we will have all the info in the notes. And also I challenge you if you do purchase any kind of jewelry that gives you joy, please just tag me and me. We will be more than happy to see. Doesn't have to be us, we will prefer that is hers. But you know, we know budgets are in everywhere. But we want inspiration. What inspires you joy? What is your joy? Jewelry, you know that also gives you a lot of inspiration. And what is your joy usually? You know that also gives you a lot of inspiration. And what is your hope to get, uh, one of the pieces of alicia, get one of her pieces. I have two of them.

Speaker 2

Um, bobby pins oh, I love your pins yeah and I love those.

Speaker 1

If you cannot like me, if you cannot wear earrings like that or like necklaces, you can wear the bobby pins. She has something for everybody.

Speaker 2

That's what I've been trying to do. I've been trying to create all different price points so you can find something for $30 there. I even have blankets so you can wrap yourself in light. Headpacks so you can see your unconditional love for baby in the light, just something to surround yourself with what we're talking about. So every time you see it, you know I'm on the right track. Keep going, yes.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and she has also fussy socks, oh my God.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I love $18.

Speaker 1

Yes, I have like those pussy socks. I'm like I love fussy socks. So for all my coffee people, fussy socks. I do the thing. My love. Thank you so much. I love you. Until next time.

Exciting Mental Health Coaching Program

Speaker 1

As we conclude today's episode, take a moment to reflect. Be proud of the journey, for every step that brings you closer to who you truly are. Embrace the kindness towards yourself, as you did to each one of our guests. Honor the bravery in your actions and celebrate the importance of mental wellness with us. And remember it's an exercise that we practice daily. Continue to grow and flourish, knowing that we are in this training for our mental wellness together. We are so proud to have you as part of our community, so join us on Instagram at Oasis Community Podcast for more inspiring conversations.

Speaker 1

Podcast for more inspiring conversations. Valuable resources and supported content, including journals, worksheets and content in Spanish. Exciting things are in the horizon. Our Oasis community break rooms are coming soon to grab tools and take a break for mental health. Also, we are featuring our six-month training ethical mental health coaching program designed for new and experienced coaches, as well as holistic and healing professionals. Enroll to create a safe and transformative experience to your clients. Links in the bio Until next time, take care, stay connected and welcome to our Oasis community.