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Blending Therapy and Coaching: Journey to Empowerment and Self-Love

• Dr. Roldan • Season 4 • Episode 7

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What if the secret to empowerment lies in blending therapy with coaching? Join us for an enlightening discussion with Ashley LaButte, the inspiring founder of Snail Male Sisterhood and host of the Power Up Yourself Podcast. Ashley shares her remarkable story of rising from rock bottom, navigating the complexities of self-identity and trauma, to becoming a beacon of empowerment. We unpack the courage it takes to step away from societal expectations, explore the synergy between therapy and coaching, and the transformative power of community in personal growth. Ashley's journey serves as a powerful reminder that true healing requires both professional guidance and genuine connections.

Our conversation also dives into the multifaceted nature of personal development, highlighting the value of seeking diverse perspectives and resources like therapists, coaches, and mentors. By comparing mental health challenges to physical injuries, we underscore the necessity of a comprehensive healing process. Discover how journaling, meditation, and breath work can be transformative tools for positivity and change. Ashley’s insights into therapeutic approaches and coaching specialties encourage listeners to find the perfect mix for personal growth, showing that these are evolving tools that adapt as we do.

Ashley also introduces us to her heartwarming international snail mail project, a refreshing antidote to our digital age.

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IG: @tshley.labutte
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Disclaimer: It's essential to note that while I am a therapist, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy. The stories and discussions shared here are meant to inform and inspire but should not replace

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Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Ashley LaButte. You can find me on Instagram at ashleylabute. I am the founder of Snail Male Sisterhood. If you want to sign up for that, for letter writing, for empowering, sending empowering messages to other women, it is wwwsnailmalesisterhoodcom. Snailmalesisterhoodcom. I am the podcast host of Power Up Yourself Podcast.

Speaker 2:

Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome to Oroasis Community Podcast. I am Dr Roldan, your host. I am a doctor in clinical psychology, a BIPOC therapist professor and a mindful somatic coach. While I am a therapist, remember I'm not your therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health care, but we have resources in our website and Instagram to support you in that search. Join us for a cozy, felt conversation about mental health, personal growth and mindfulness. We explore tools to care for your mind, your body and your soul. Check the footnotes for disclaimer, trigger warnings and additional resources for each one of the episodes. So grab your favorite cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate, wrap yourself in a warm blanket and find a coffee spot here with us to be kind to be brave, loud and strong in your search of mental health wellness.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to your Oasis, hello everybody, and welcome again. I hope you have got your drink. As always, today we're sharing a special drink with my friend, ashley, because we, as you can see, we have the same tumblers. I have a beautiful, amazing matcha tea. What do you have, ashley? I have electrolytes, have element. She has element. Okay, and today I just want to tell everybody, grab a pen or a pencil, a piece of paper that you can write into in your journal, maybe, because today I have one of not only my good friends, but also a person that I admire and I love. Her name is Ashley. She is a coach and, as you know, here in Oroasis Community Podcast, we talk with coaches, mental health professionals and holistic practitioners. Ashley, tell us a little bit about how did you start to be a coach or what is a coach to you? Because, uh, we have been talking with our audience about the difference between coach, holistic practitioners and therapy so how I started is I had to go on a completely self-discovery, self-help journey.

Speaker 1:

I had to hit my rock bottom and had to figure out how to essentially solve those problems. So it was starting to go to therapy. It was going to a 12-step program. It was getting closer to God and it was getting coaches. If it was fitness coaches and it was getting coaches. If it was fitness coaches, if it was relationship coaches, if it was business coaches, it was.

Speaker 1:

I needed people in my world to help me get to the best version that I could be and I personally think that you can't have therapy without coaching. I think it's the perfect mixes to have both, because a therapist, I believe, is specialized in a certain area, whereas coaches are in different areas. I personally think that a coach normally has gone through that experience, so they understand your pain and your struggle, whereas therapists they could have gone through the pain and struggle, but they're also very book. I will say they're book and education based, whereas coach is through experience. So how I have become a coach is because I have gone through experiences. I have gone from the lows. I've gone from hating myself using my weight as a disability. I've gone have like, lost my voice and then had to reclaim my voice. I am like the biggest person of finding your authenticity and being your truest self and not breaking promises to yourself. So it's literally using tools to be able to make the best version of yourself and having the right support team around you.

Speaker 2:

So what I'm understanding is you went through what we call it rock bottom. Right, we all have been there, done that, where we are in the floor snobbing and crying or we're about to just walk out of our relationship or just walk out of a home, changing our life completely 180. So can you tell me what was the catalyst that you say enough is enough of the life that I'm living In our Oasis community? We have learned that our brain is designed to keep us safe, right, even if that safety equal being in the same drama, in the same toxicity that is destroying us, because it's more scary to go to the unknown that staying in the same language crap that we have been all these years, because it's the only thing that we know. It takes so much courage and so much shedding all those ideas that society or parents and other media has put in us. So tell me what was your catalyst, what it was like. Make Ashley Ashley now.

Speaker 1:

So there's actually so many things. So well, there's all of my like I will say trauma from my childhood. That has all built up, but what really like started it was I actually lost my job. And within that time of losing my job, I have no reason why I lost. My answer was your contract was not renewed. So I have all of these speculations of why so unknown answers. Speculations of why so unknown answers.

Speaker 1:

Within that time, until I found my next job, I probably gained 40 pounds because I sat there numbing myself with food. I just laid in bed, numbed myself because it was really ironic. How it happened is because, like that prior week, I was like I finally found my purpose in life. My purpose in life is to be a worker and then I didn't have my job, so I lost my whole identity, so I went to food because I didn't know. The answer I finally answered is now not answered again.

Speaker 1:

So I remember it was in February of 2020. I was going to a wedding it was like the very beginning of February and I was at my sister's house and I was getting ready for this wedding and I'm putting Spanx on and these Spanx kept rolling down and I was so pissed at myself and I was like this is literally enough is enough. I need to stop using excuses, and everywhere in my life I am not happy with my life. I'm not happy how I look. I do not love myself, like I don't. Like. There were prior times where I wanted to take my life, but those were just like parts of it, whereas now I'm like I truly don't even know who. I am Nothing. I'm like I just hate my life.

Speaker 1:

So I hit that rock bottom. That next day I started looking into 12 step programs for overeating. I ended up getting a therapist. So I started making changes and I ended up getting a coach. I had a sponsor. I had people around me, because I had to have people around me that have gone through this too. So with making those changes, I had to. With the therapy, I was always told if you go to therapy, you're considered weak. So I had to lose that persona of always hearing that and being like no, I am strong because I'm going to go, take steps and go to therapy and get the help that I actually need, and not listen to the outside noise.

Speaker 2:

And just to all our audience that is listening to us right now just trigger warning because this episode it will talk about eating disorders, suicide ideation and everything that comes with mental health. So if you need to take a break right now because while we are going to talk it can be triggering for you, in the footnotes we have eating disorders support groups and emergency phone numbers that you can check, and also we have other social media that you can go and check. That is for healthy eating and mindfulness. And why not? Just what we want is that you take care of yourself. Our stories are powerful but also can activate you. So do what is best for your nervous system and what is best for your mind.

Speaker 2:

So, returning with you, I hear you like what a lot of us go through, like our persona is this label that has been put by society, like I'm a hard worker, I'm the first in the family, I am the daughter, so, and so I have this much pride. Or, depending on who you are, I'm the skinny of the family. I have to stay like that. You are the skinny of the family. I have to stay like that. Or I'm the one that everybody labels the overweight one, and I don't like this term, but that's how a lot of families use it. I'm the crazy one that well, one, that hench one, which in reality were the scapegoat when you were going through that transformation.

Speaker 2:

And I love why you say that I got a 12-step program. I got a therapist and a coach, because people, sometimes we don't understand that when we have a mental breakdown or we have going through trauma, that's an injury. You will not go around with a broken arm just going around and work right. You will take a little bit of time, heal it and go to the specialist, and then you have to go to a physical therapist to make it like work again. And then you have to go probably to holistic healing to help you to like get the skin back and all that kind of stuff right. We go through different steps. It's not just one fix all. So my kind of red flag for anybody out there that either is with a therapist, coach or in between, or even mentors if they promise you that they, you only need them. That's a red flag. What do you think about that, ashley?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I totally agree and it's really funny because you need more than one person, because if you're going with just that one person, you're just going to listen to what that one person is because you want that fix. I essentially say, like you just want that one person that's on your team saying, hey, you're doing a good job, keep up the good work. Whereas when you have different people and they're bringing in different aspects, I say that it's essentially like bringing up different parts of you. It's bringing shadows up to your light, because the more people that you have around you that are trying to help you grow, to move through your process, they're going to see different aspects of you. They're going to bring up different parts of you.

Speaker 1:

So if you only have a therapist or you only have a coach or you just have one thing, or you just have one of one, like not many people, then you're not going to be having essentially that mirror to project back to you what you need to see. The more people, I say, the better, because if I go to just talk, therapy is I'm just going to sit there I could be essentially venting to like a girlfriend all day. It's essentially like the same thing, but they bring up other aspects of it. My coach I could become buddy buddies with too. It's just like what your relationship is.

Speaker 1:

And then I'm not saying stay with the same therapist all the time or stay with the same coach is there are times where you will actually outgrow your therapist, you'll outgrow your coach, and you have to have the power within you to know when to actually make that change and not sit there and be like, well, I feel bad because I complete. Honestly, I did that and that's not advocating for myself. I needed to advocate for myself to grow. And those times when you need to let go, those are the times when you know that you're making that big next step and that's where it gets scary.

Speaker 2:

Right, and just to piggyback on that I also love, therapy is not forever. You don't go to the ICU, you don't go to the specialist all your life. Yes, there is chronic illness that you have to, but you go for tune-ups, right. And also, the other thing is therapy has different flavors, meaning we have DVTs, cbt, act and a whole plethora of other ones. The same with coaches we have a mental health, a childhood coach. We have what do you say? Body positive, body embodiment, the other one that you were talking to me Embodiment, trauma coach yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, and they have so many different coaches the same with mentors, right. It depends what next level you want to reach and also if you're able to just use the resources that you have. So I invite anybody that is listening to. This is like if you have insurance and you can afford going for a coach and a therapist, go for it. If you can get also a nutritionist or even somebody that is going to work like a health coach, get it, because that is what it helps you to keep the whole persona right, because we're not only one thing, we're not just our mental health, we're not just our body, we're not just what happened to us, we're a multitude of things.

Speaker 2:

So can you share with our audience a story where you practice what you have been learning? Because I feel like, if you guys know Ashley and I invite you to go see her in her chit chats that she do every morning. They are amazing. In those chit chats she talks about real things in life, but she creates something that is beautiful, and I think she created also out of a necessity that she saw, not only for herself but for others, because this girl journals journals all the time like a lot. So can you share with our audience that positive experience and success that, out of the darkness of your journal, if you will, you move to what you have created that is so beautiful for our audience to know.

Speaker 1:

So it's. There's many tools I use. So I use a lot of meditation, I use a lot of breath work, I use a lot of journaling. But I feel like they all kind of go hand in hand, because if you meditate or breath work, like to remember what you actually did, to journal it, or if you have a dream at night, like first thing right down, so you actually remember your dreams.

Speaker 1:

So, using journaling, I always ask myself why. So like if I'm in a really bad state, my first thing to do is to go journal because I need to get that out. Me sitting in there and just spinning with my thoughts is not going to solve the problem. I need to get those thoughts out and on paper is the best form for me. So I will journal and I'll be like why am I feeling this? Where did this come from? Why, why, why. And I just keep asking myself why. And I will tell you when you ask yourself and when you think you got to the bottom of the answer, ask yourself like five more questions, because I bet you you can dig even deeper.

Speaker 1:

And when you do that you learn so much about yourself.

Speaker 1:

And I mean it is not easy. There are times where you just break down and you're like, ah shit, like I didn't even realize there was that that was coming up. Like there was like a span for like two weeks where I journaled for an hour every day and I will tell you, those were the times where I got like the most clarity and I'm like I need to go back doing that because it was just such a wealth of information because literally every answer that you have is actually inside of you. We just want to look everywhere else because we don't know how to trust ourselves. So journaling is actually going so far in. So, with the journaling, like that's where, like my snail mail came in because I'm there's all of this writing and to actually get people to write other letters to other people because writing is so beneficial. Yes, and I feel like, with how society is going now, with so many being, I see, feel like so many people feel like that it's so much more negative versus positive and just receiving junk mail and bills.

Speaker 2:

Essentially the negative things, like I don't want to go check my mailbox, it's just junk. It adds in probably a bill for my student loans until my student's out of there. Exactly what I like about writing and what I like about journal. Any therapist and any coach that you know, the first thing that they're going to tell you to do is journal. And you may wonder why, which, by the way, I have a free beginner's journal different types in the link so you can get it for free, and I know Ashley also has another one and we will put it in the notes too.

Speaker 2:

But mindfulness is reflection. Right, that's an act of mindfulness, reflecting in your day. And I also told my clients all the time just have word vomit where you put everything that otherwise you will consume or like. Unfortunately you will consume or like, unfortunately you will purge. It's easier to do it in paper than doing it to ourselves, because we are such a bully inside of ourselves we say such a negative and mean things. But when we journal that, we enhance the eyesight of like oh God, I am being horrible to myself. One, two, it's tangible to keepsakes Meaning. If you see my journals when I start therapy versus now, you can see the progress and the trajectory of that One. And I know everybody that's listening is in shock. But therapists also go to therapy. If they don't, that's a super red flag, super red flag. The same with your coaches. If your coach is like oh my God, I just went, no, because you cannot preach something that you haven't practiced yourself right. So that's my FYI.

Speaker 2:

But what I like about the snail mail is that we are very nice to other people, especially if we see them that they're struggling with something or we see them that in that entry level that we were in the past. So when we write snail mail letters to people that we don't know or we are going to get to know, kind of like remember back in the day when you were in school and we did pen pal, when did we lose that? Like now, when you the version of, or kiddos have in our teens is the phones, yeah, these phones, uh. And it's not like you write nice things we're going to troll on, because people gets more, um, kind of like the word vomit. Like I said before, people does that in media in your negative comments. That's people projecting, expressing the darkness that they have inside because they don't have another outlet. So enhance also the way that we can create empathy for ourselves and others.

Speaker 2:

And to tell you that when I get a snail mail letter, I get all giggly and all excited and all like and I have to plant, like, I have my, I haven't sent it, but um, I, I sit down and I'm like, okay, what kind of paper this person will like, what kind of stickers I can put. I go to all the way that I even buy a little thing that you put for the letters. That way they smell uh pretty. You know, like I go all out, probably because I'm also old and back in the day that was like super cool. But it's almost like I invite anybody out there to write a love letter to yourself and not thinking, oh my gosh, I'm this, I'm that. I want you to think like if it was that little girl, that little person that is in the other side. And that's why Ashley create in a very creative expression of love to the world, because who doesn't need a little more cheer up in our world? Right? And also, how many of you have gone to your mailbox? And it's just like, oh my God, right Now I go to the mailbox because I don't just have Ashley, I have other friends and stuff that are around the world that we make a pact that we will write letters or we do voice things.

Speaker 2:

It's something that connects us more because in a letter you see more the time and effort that the person has put on, also the person that is writing the letter. You create endorphins, you create more serotonin you also create. You lower your cortisol levels because the act of writing and I don't care how you write, because I had chicken scratch writing and you know it looks like a spider when can-can in the paper, but it's okay because I know the person in the other side is going to take a minute to figure out. It's like is this S R? You know it takes a minute because that's how I write, but the act of being present trying to figure out the chicken scratch that I write, or the act of being grounded by grabbing that paper and just smell it, look at it and feel it, that creates so much wellness for you. So, ashley, tell us a little bit more. How is your snail mail going and what are you doing with that? Where is the? Where's the dream with it?

Speaker 1:

So I'm so excited because snail mail is already international, so it's in the U? S and Canada right now. So we're hoping to go broader. We just started but like I think there's like 26 people already which I'm so proud of because I'm like now I can have 26 women that are all connected by sending mail to each other. Like most of them probably don't even know each other that they just get to send this piece of mail.

Speaker 1:

And it brings me back to sending letters to military soldiers and send it.

Speaker 1:

I don't know anything about them besides their name, and that they're protecting us, anything about them besides their name and that they're protecting us.

Speaker 1:

And there'd be the rare occasion where I would receive a letter back and it brought so much joy to me because I'd be like, like, and there's sometimes where I would just cry, but it's like the act of literally writing the letter because you're giving something to someone and that's why there's the snail mail is like you're giving someone a letter, you're giving someone the words that you're probably yearning to hear yourself, that you're giving to someone else and that person, energetically, they probably need those words too, because you don't know when that letter is gonna arrive, right, they could be going through a bad day and that letter is what changes them and that's where I see this whole thing.

Speaker 1:

Like it's gonna just be globally, that it's just going to be this letter of positivity. It's kind of like pen pales, but we're making it more fun as like, I guess, adults, because it's not going to be the same person, it's going to be a different person. So, like, energetically. We're getting connected to so many other women, whereas I feel like as a community, we're so disconnected where this is going to bring us closer but it's going back to like not going to social media and stuff like all of like the stuff that we consider like maybe possibly toxic Now we're going back to the old school, where you're going to actually have to wait and actually possibly like if it's international, you have to go wait, you have to go to the post office.

Speaker 1:

So it's kind of like getting yourself out there too to go do those things. So I just see it as that and then maybe potentially like getting grouped together like sessions on Zoom or something one day, so that you can actually see the people that you're actually talking to, maybe talk to them face to face too. So I just want it to be like this huge community of women, just empowering, being positive and just being connected, because I feel like if you're going on a self-discovery or you're low or something, all you need is like you need that one other person to see you and to hear you, and this is your opportunity for it right and don't you.

Speaker 2:

And for the audience, it's not that she picks random, random like, saying like you say, I sign up and that's it. No, she actually selects people really carefully, in the sense of like, because I remember once upon a time and I'm going to age myself before MySpace and all that we do actually use letters Also, I come from a developing country, so technology came 20 years later. But we will do letters and sometimes you will get letters that were kind of like iffy, you know, like you were like. And sometimes you will get letters that were kind of like iffy, you know like you were like. Who sent me this kind of thing?

Speaker 2:

But I want everybody to grab that piece of paper or that journal that you have right now in front of you and I just want you to take one second, just this second, to write one love word for you. Second, to write one love word for you. And now I want you to think and look at that word, because probably it's really hard for you to write a love word for you. But now that you heard Ashley and you hear me, I want you to write a word that you think it represents either, or One for Ashley and one for me. Write a word in your paper and I will do the same. So let me grab my pen. So one for Ashley and one for me, okay, so Ashley, what do you wrote?

Speaker 1:

well, first I wrote butterfly, but then I put it to love and I put cookie and finally I put butterfly too and my word that I said for you is rose, and what I did for myself, I did bubbles oh, I, I put the one for me, for for you, it was butterfly.

Speaker 2:

That's why I laugh, because I'm like, oh, she put butterfly too. So this, do you see? Do you see these giggles that we just have that general? That's in a moment, and every time that that I will write Butterfly, I will think about Ashley, every time that we think about bubbles and stuff like that. So the act of writing is mindful, it's intentional and it's present, and that's why I invite Ashley today to talk to you guys, because my journey, also as getting older and being in this society that worships certain body standards that are impossible to reach, some of them are like.

Speaker 2:

I was like why are we chasing, always being a teen, the body of a teen? Because that's the beauty standard that we have now here in USA. What happened with having a voluptuous woman? What happened to have a real body right? I love now that we have other elements where we can see ourselves in representation, in the ads, in body positivity. That is happening. It's a movement and I think part of that movement is knowing Ashley. Ashley is like. She has such a security of her body, security of herself, and I love how everybody's like oh my God, you're so secure, blah, blah, blah she wears.

Speaker 2:

So let me tell you how we met. I went to this Empower coaching slash women's conference and I'm cookie, as everybody knows. I am always bigger than life when I go through these things. But Ashley, ashley was there in a sequence, one C, was it like a sequence? A sequence once? Is that how you call it? Hot pink romper, romper. Sorry, I always forget the name of that. So she wasn't a romper, it was hot pink, you know, like fuchsia pink in sequence, like it was my disco ball. Dreams come true, uh, and I just saw her and I was like I want to go hug her and talk to her and like shake her because it was so fun and I wasn't able to talk to her that day and then move forward another year, a year, and we met in another event and this time I did talk to her and everything, and then we were in a mastermind together and we become like super BFFs Because, as you can tell, we have kind of like the same bubble personality.

Speaker 2:

And I say that to you because when and I don't think Ashley knows this when I met Ashley, I had gone through, you know, covid happened to all of us and I have something that is prolonged COVID, which it totally destroyed my immune system and my gut system, if you will. It has taken years for me to recover from that one, but I gained 80 pounds all at once, so you can understand how traumatic that was for somebody, that it was very, and also I was very active and I was dancing and all that and due to the long COVID, I developed something called POTS. Shout out to all my POTSs out there. And part of POTS is like you cannot exercise. So I have 80 pounds overweight and then I cannot exercise, right.

Speaker 2:

So when I met Ashley, I was like this woman is a powerhouse of love and everything and the way that she talks to you about positivity and she doesn't shy of anything. So when I met her, I was like I still feel, still feeling insecure, still feeling like trying to find my body back. You know, when I say trying to find my body back, I mean being comfortable on it, right, I wasn't chasing being the person that I was before my illness. I just was like please, let me be healthy and I can move a little. Ashley walks, runs and do all the things we were doing, some. What do you call it Body movement exercise. Everybody was sweating and stuff like that, but I have to sit down every five seconds. Ashley was just going and going and going and I was like, girl, you have so much energy. Why do I say this to you? Because you can meet people that totally breaks the body standards that we have, which are not real, and be okay with it. No-transcript.

Speaker 1:

I had to realize that the weight was a protection. It's protecting me, it's what makes me beautiful. I had to realize that I also had to realize of who is the person that is essentially projecting what a beautiful body is. Who's telling me like I'm allowed to have fat at my butt and my boobs, but I can't have fat anywhere else, like who's the person saying that?

Speaker 1:

or you can't have stretch marks or cellulite. The cellulite, the stretch marks, that gives you character. That is part of your story, that is part of your journey. Would you want to give up that struggle that gave you that story? Essentially, it's coming true to who yourself is and then honestly like getting help, being around people that have gone through it too, because you need that community, you need people that actually understand you, because for so long I'd be like I can just eat thousands and thousands of calories and then I can work out for six hours a day, and it's not a healthy combo, because people will be like, well, I can just work out my weight? No, you can't.

Speaker 1:

And the thing is is I don't think the weight is just because I'm eating food, that it is. Hey, I'm going to take a quick pill to solve it. It's not that, hey, I need to fix my eating or I need to learn more about nutrition. I need to learn more about exercising, cause I can tell you I can do both of those. Perfect, you need that mental health. If your mental health is not clear, then you're not going to have any of it because you're just going to sit there sabotaging yourself. You have to get to like essentially, what is the root problem? What is essentially triggering you? Why do you want all that food? Why do you wake up the next day and you have like 15 wrappers of food behind your bed? It's like asking, like literally journal those questions too. So it's me just those little like tidbits of stuff what do you think, since you mentioned it.

Speaker 2:

What do you think about I? You mentioned it. What do you think about? I will say it's almost like not a pandemic, but it's very popular now that people is using pills to lose weight.

Speaker 1:

Can you repeat that?

Speaker 2:

Pills to lose weight, kind of like. You know I cannot say the name of it, but it's like wait a O and you know injections and it's BLS blockers and it's BLS blockers, so diabetic medication, and now, because some stars make it popular, now pretty much everybody goes to it. What do you think about that?

Speaker 1:

I don't agree with it. So I actually was put on something, probably like I'd say like 10 years ago or something, because my mother told me that I was overweight and I had to go to the doctor and literally made me drink so much water my mouth was caught in tongue, my heart was going up. Yeah, I lost a lot of weight, but it didn't solve the problem. And just recently I actually went to my doctor and he was just checking everything and he's like your weight's not doing anything. And I'm like, well, I'm eating better now. And he's like, oh, are you really? I'm like, yeah, and he's like, well, maybe you should go on like one of those injections or pills or something. And I literally turned to him I go, I'm going through therapy right now to solve it, because the thing is that pill is going to be a quick fix. Right, once you get rid of that, it's just going to come all back to you. You didn't fix the root cause.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's people just want the quick fix. Yes, there is no quick fix when it comes to body weight or anything, any of that. So it's just hey, you have my biggest. This will probably be my biggest tip is the weight did not come overnight, so why are you expecting the weight to go away, right?

Speaker 2:

And just to piggyback on that, I'm a firm believer grab what you need and use it right. But there is a point that are we like you say quick fix. With a quick fix come a quick fall, meaning like some people does need the because they have thyroid problems, or, like me, like they have POTS or the stuff and blah, blah, blah. And let's not forget the medical system guides, like women like not to worry, right. But with that said, also is the question of asking ourselves if we already try, or nutrition, exercise and or mental health. If you don't fix or heal or exercise your mental wellness, the other things are not going to fall. You can be the most skinny, overweight, beautiful or whatever standard you want, that without your mental health or mental wellness, everything is going to go back right. Also, you have to wonder, like all these medications that we put in our bodies and why not? I mean, once you stop taking it, it will go back to what it was before, meaning the necessity to consume, the necessity to get a quick fix. So I love when you say I went to a 12-step program, regardless if you're religious or not. There are different 12-step programs. Yes, the majority are based in religion, meaning in God, but there's other ones that are not, like Smart Recovery and other support groups. But the main important point that we have and I hope everybody that is in the audience and listening to us get is that you need a community. A community that is where you were and where you want to go. What do I mean with that? I can go to a community where everybody's pro pills and all this kind of stuff and quick fixes. That is not gonna be what I want to see, right. But if I go to that community and I see people that is starting in that community and the people that is already out of the community, kind of like, if you will, I'm going to use again that example. Everybody that sees the metal rat of the popular medication right now, they see, oh my gosh, they lose this many weight of this and that, right. And then we have the people that have been using it for a long time and they call it a phase of where they look very, very sick. So you can see the spectrum. It's the same with mental health.

Speaker 2:

If you go to a support group that is pro-addiction versus against addiction, you will see the difference. So even if you think you are in these groups that are not the best for you. I always say give it a try, give it three sessions to anything that you do to a therapist, to a support group, to even a medical, and see if they're body match. But even if they challenge your thoughts or your feels, I want you to journal it. Challenge your thoughts or your feels. I want you to journal it Because in your journal you will see the difference right.

Speaker 2:

And I don't want people to think that we're against any kind of medication or aid to help you to be where you want to be. Not at all. But everything is a choice with consequences. Everything it's just learning. Like what Ashley said the root of the problem. If we don't know the root, we're just's just learning. Like what Ashley said, the root of the problem. If we don't know the root, we're just cutting, kind of like the weeds. We just got in the top but we're not taking the root, so they're going to come back over and over and over every summer. So, to finalize, what advice would you give to our audience if they want to be more mindful and care for their mental health and their fitness health?

Speaker 1:

So I would find for fitness, I would find what calls to you. And just so you know you have seasons, you can have seasons. So, like I had a season of CrossFit, I'm now in a season of just going to Planet Fitness and just lifting body weights or going for a walk outside. So just know, like, if you there's all different types of exercise Just do what calls to you because you don't have to follow the last fad, because you don't have to follow the last fad, just follow what you actually need, because if you're following what you need, you're going to show up more.

Speaker 1:

Versus waking up and be like, oh my God, and just having so much resistance For food is like, essentially, finding food that you like, find like essentially you can always make meals healthier is find ways to do that. Get a nutritionist to help you with that. Or even my favorite thing is just experiment, yeah, is actually play with the food, because it's bringing like that childlike in your feeding, your inner child. And then for, like, mental health is literally I swear by meditation, journaling, breath work, even like embodiment, just like even getting into your body of just dancing around or yelling, screaming, whatever, like even any of that helps too, and like I preach those things all the time.

Speaker 2:

Right, and from my part I always say it took a whole lifetime to break habits that you're in here. So give yourself, little by little, pick one thing, just change one thing. For example, I don't do the gym, the gym is not my thing, but you can take me rock climbing, you can take me walking, you can take me to the beach, you can take me water sports, right, so I don't have to do them all, I just have to go first to a walk or maybe just in the pool. If you are changing your habits of eating, I want you to know and it will be probably in another episode that food is a social construct, meaning what you eat, it has society imposed it to you because you go to another country or another, yeah, another country. Food is not what you see here, right, we have here so many choices of food and I think that is why it complicates things. So one I always say learn where your food comes from and what it has inside. That will help you to make better choices and get your and you may say it's biased, but yeah, if you can go to therapy.

Speaker 2:

If you cannot go to therapy, go to a support group. If it cannot go to a therapy or support group. Go to a mentor or a coach. If you cannot have any of them, go to your journal. You have options. You are not alone and remember all parts of you are here. Welcome and allow. And this episode will air in September, which is Yellow September, and we want to remind everybody out there that the first two months of this fall are where college kids and college students deal with eating disorders, suicidiation and assault. So if you have a loved one that is dealing with eating disorders or any kind of mental illnesses or you suspect, please refer to the notes in the episode, where you will have resources and remember we're here to help you, but I'm not your therapist. Thank you so much, ashley. Thank you and any notes or anything else that you will want to leave us with.

Speaker 1:

I want to say one thing that I forgot to say, yes, is that if you say that you're overweight and everything and that someone that is skinny, they don't understand. They can have the same issues that someone has that is overweight. So it's not about how you look, it's like, literally is the inside. So I just wanted to put that out there. It doesn't matter if you're overweight or skinny. You can be facing the same devils essentially.

Speaker 2:

Yes, eating disorders is for everybody. It's not about the size, it's what is inside, and also you can be the skinny fat, as they call it. It's also what you put in your body. So I agree with you If you're struggling with any kind of body dysmorphia or eating disorders, please go to our links to get some help and if not, please follow Ashley. Join her at Snail Mill and join us here, too, where you're going to learn more tips and tricks and why not? And how to be loud, be kind and be proud. Until the next time, everybody, thank God.

Speaker 2:

As we conclude today's episode, take a moment to reflect. Be proud of the journey, for every step that brings you closer to who you truly are. Embrace the kindness towards yourself, as you did to each one of our guests. Honor the bravery in your actions and celebrate the importance of mental wellness with us. And remember it's an exercise that we practice daily. Continue to grow and flourish, knowing that we are in this training for our mental wellness together. We are so proud to have you as part of our community, so join us on Instagram at Oasis Community Podcast for more inspiring conversations, valuable resources and supported content, including journals, worksheets and content in spanish. Exciting things are in the horizons. Our oasis community break rooms are coming soon to grab tools and take a break for your mental health. Also, we are featuring our six-month training ethical mental health coaching program, designed for new and experienced coaches, as well as holistic and healing professionals. Enroll to create a safe and transformative experience to your clients. Links in the bio. Until next time, take care, stay connected and welcome to our Oasis community.