You don't need to start over, you just need to start again.

Life happens. Kids get sick. Schedules fall apart. Motivation fades. In this episode, we're talking about why you don't need to start over, you just need to start again. Falling off track doesn't erase your progress, and every new day is another chance to keep moving forward with grace, not guilt. 

Transcript

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This popcades is raw, unfiltered, and probably a little bit of a charm, but it's everything you didn't need. So grab a glass of wine and let's get on. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Barely Balanced. Today's episode is titled You Don't Need to Start Over. You just need to start again. And I wanted to make this episode. Well, honestly, I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really want to record this episode, but um, I think me being authentic and raw and real, it's important to continue to stay that way. And honestly, I've been really hard on myself lately because I have not been consistent with a lot of things. I haven't shown up the way I expected myself to. Um, you know, my workouts haven't been perfect, my nutrition hasn't been where I want it to be, and I've been quiet on the podcast, and I didn't do that on purpose. I'm doing that because my mental health has taken a little bit of a toll. Um, my life's been extremely busy, it's been overwhelming, it's been emotional. Um, you know, when we have lots of things that go on in our lives, regardless, you know, you know, what stage of life we're in, sometimes we tend to shut down and then we think, well, you know, I haven't done this in so long. Now I'm gonna look stupid, you know, redoing it, or I'm gonna look like an idiot like when they haven't heard from me in over a month, or whatever the case may be. And that's not true because we all go through mental things, we all go through things that nobody else knows, and I think it's important to remind ourselves to give ourselves a little bit of grace because we all go through something somehow, you know. I know a lot of people that go through a lot of mental things, and I would never guess until like I'm speaking to them. I'm like, Oh, I would have never known. And I know a lot of people think, you know, I'm just always on the go and I'm this and I'm that, and and really it's a lot deeper than that. Um, you know, besides being overwhelmed and emotional with just life, you know, if I'm being honest, I've spent more time feeling guilty than actually taking any action. Maybe you can relate to that. I'm not sure. I'm sure most of you can, you know, like I said, we all get stuck in a rut at some point in our life where we're like, um, how do we get back to the groove of things? How do we get back to feeling comfortable in our own skin? How do we get back to just life, the way we want to live it, not showing up as this weird version of ourself that we don't even know who we are? And it's you know, it's funny how quick our minds can convince us that just because we missed a few days, a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, that we've somehow like failed ourselves. Like, we're allowed to stumble and fall and get back up. Like, we always tell ourselves, okay, I'll start on Monday, I'll get on back on track next month, I've already messed up, forget about it. I'm not, I'm not gonna continue on with this. I, you know, I fucked up. People are gonna think I look stupid, like I just said earlier. That it's not a thing, right? Then I and then I just kind of realized like there's no getting back on track because like life was never meant to be just a straight line. Like all of our lives, every single person, you know, our lives can be messy, they can be unpredictable, our kids could get sick, business could be stressful, regardless if you own your own or work for another company or whatever. Your job may be, it could get stressful, your relationships can become complicated, your mental health fluctuates. What else? Uh, sometimes we're just freaking exhausted, like regardless of what you feel like you're doing, if you feel like you're not doing enough of whatever, you could just simply feel exhausted. And that doesn't mean that we've failed, it just means that we're human. And I don't know, one thing I've learned about that is that consistency, consistency isn't about perfection, it's just about returning, like just hopping back on the wagon and just like doing what we need to do, and continuing to do that every time, no matter how many times we fall, how many times we fail, how many times we stumble. It's just you gotta get back up, and you don't need to wait for some magical Monday to happen, or you don't need to wait for January 1st, you don't need to wait for the perfect meal plan or the perfect workout program. Like sometimes all you need is just like, I don't know, one healthy meal or one workout, or for me to make one podcast episode to like let people know what's going on, take a walk outside, and then there's that just you know, there's that decision just to remind yourself that like you're still here, you're still human, you're you know, remind yourself who the fuck you are, and sometimes it takes a lot of time for that to happen for me specifically. And it's not always for me to just it's not always easy for me to just jump back on the the bandwagon. It's not, especially if like I just feel as if there's so many things going on that I just can't navigate life and you know, show up for the everybody the way I'm meant to show up. Um I get really hard on myself with that, but I um, you know, I also, while I was, you know, going through this mental thing, you know, every day, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna start reading my self-help books again. I'm gonna get up at 5 a.m. I'm gonna work out before the kids get up. Like none of that has happened. Like, let's be real. Like it's summertime. I if I my kids sleep in a little bit, like I want to sleep in, but then I it's just that it's like a vicious cycle. Then I get up exactly when they're getting up, and then it's like everyone's running around, and I love it. To me, it's beautiful chaos. But you know, if you're a parent or not a parent, whatever, we all know that life can get crazy during the summertime. But I was also sitting around, and when I was, you know, reflecting, I was thinking about a lot about like comparison, and I feel like we compare our current selves to the version of us that had more time, more energy, we had fewer responsibilities or fewer struggles. Like I always look back to like, I don't know, when I was like 27 and I'm like, man, I used to, I was fine. Like, I used to just, you know, relax and clean my house and not get stressed and have martini Monday and make homemade meals and make the gluten-free bread homemade and meals in the crock pot at starting at 6 a.m. Like just like and then you know, and then I would, you know, go to bed. Like, I was never just like stressed that I had to sweep or mop. I was never stressed that I had laundry, I was never stressed about having to take a ride to freaking Walmart. I was never stressed about that. And I feel like I compare myself to that person all the time, like just wanting to go back to that person and wanting to go back to not being stressed out all the time over these silly little things and not comparing myself now to my younger self because even though that person never stressed really about anything, I mean, I had I've had anxiety my whole life, but like I didn't stress about going to Walmart. I didn't, you know, I just woke up and did the damn thing and didn't think anything of it. And then I wasn't like, oh my god, go to bed by 9 p.m. because I have to be up at six. Like I was just going to bed when I wanted to go to bed and not thinking about like, I don't know, I was just living life in the moment, I guess you would say. And now, I don't know, I'm a freaking weirdo now, and I just am always thinking about the past or the future. I'm not ever living in the present. I've had many people tell me that that like I'm there, but I'm not. And that's a really hard pill to swallow because and then sometimes when I'm in the moment, I want to get the fuck out of the moment, and that's also awful. Sometimes you don't, you know, and that doesn't even, I'm not even talking about like with my kids or anything like that. I love every moment with them, but like sometimes I'm in moments in my life where I'm like, I want to get the fuck out of here. Like I don't want to be in this moment right now, and it sucks because like I always say in all the episodes, life is really short, and I just feel as if we need to be blessed and like feel like every moment is a blessing, and I need to chill the fuck out, essentially. You know, when I was 27, I also only had two children, and I had a smaller house. Um, some you know was a little duplex. I had fewer responsibilities as in like jobs, jobs, and things like that. I was a bartender, like just I didn't have all these responsibilities like laying on my shoulder. So I have to think about it in that aspect as well. But I finally realized like maybe I'm not so supposed to be that person anymore, you know? Maybe I'm supposed to become someone new, someone wiser, someone who's older, that who's learned that progress isn't measured by perfection, it's measured by resilience. And although I do break down a lot, and my close family and friends know this, I do have a lot of moments where it feels so heavy life in general. Not in the aspect where like I don't want to be here anymore or anything like that, but just like to where I'm like, wow, like I am so fucking overwhelmed right now. I want to do nothing, I want to shut down, I want to sit and like do nothing. Like I just that's all I want right now. And I don't know, I feel like I do always bounce back, and I am pretty resilient, I guess you would say. It takes a lot though sometimes for me to like climb back to the top of this mountain that's like just I don't know, just it's like I'm trying to climb and I keep falling, I'm trying to climb and I keep falling, and then I feel like I'm climbing, and then I'm in a great mood, and then something else will fucking happen, and then I'll be climbing and I'm almost at the top, and then someone else will burn me, or I'll be like, Yeah, okay, I'm feeling great, I'm having a wonderful day, and then I'll hear something else that's going on, or something else that someone said about me, or something else that someone hurt me, or this or that, and it's like holy shit, it's just like I can never catch a fucking break. But I don't know, I feel like the strongest some of the strongest people I know aren't the ones who never fell behind, they're the ones that like kept getting back up, and although on here I say a lot of the times I don't have a relationship with my mom or dad, and that's like I want to make a whole episode on that in general, just like to do a deeper dive. I will say that this is actually really tough for me to talk about, but being full honest, fully honest, um, you know, my dad was one of those people who, you know, he fell a lot, he didn't have the best childhood. And he, you know, he was only 16 when he had me. So, you know, even though him and I don't speak anymore, I do have to say that he is one of the strongest people that I know. And even though I don't excuse me, I agree with the way he treats me sometimes, and I don't agree with the just his just a lot of things, and just like he doesn't agree with a lot of things about me, that is one thing that he taught me that I will forever be grateful for. He is, you know, he's fallen a lot and he's gotten back up and he's always he's always been the one to tell me that like you know, tough times don't last, but the tough people do. And I will replay that a lot because I do think that that is the truth. But I'm gonna move on from that because I'm not ready to speak about that right now because I'm getting emotional. I absolutely hate getting emotional in here because it's like I'm being vulnerable and I freaking hate it. So that's why I haven't made an episode about that yet because it's just not something that I can talk about without my voice cracking and things like that. But I do feel like, you know, he has taught me to get back up anytime you fall, and he has fallen a lot and has gotten back up. So, you know, like I said, some of the strongest people that I know, they're not the ones that who never fell behind, they're just the ones that kept getting back up. And all, you know, we need is someone in our life to show us that you can just keep getting back up again and again and again. And you know, so today, you know, if you're listening to this and you're you've been beating yourself up over something, I don't know. And like I said, working in the fitness industry and meeting a lot of people coming in out of the doors of my studio, I meet a lot of people. I talk to a lot of people on personal levels, and a lot of people go through so much shit mentally. It's not, and it sucks because it's like I hate to say like I'm glad I'm not alone, but like I also hate to feel like people go through what I go through mentally when it comes to that. Like when you're beating yourself up over, you know, it doesn't whatever the case may be. If you felt like you weren't the best wife, the best mom, you didn't show up for yourself, you didn't show up for your friends, your cousins, your uncles, your aunts, whatever the case may be, it's like you know, you have to understand that life is it's beautiful, right? But it's fucking hard. And our mind is so freaking powerful and it's just insane. So if you're listening tonight and you've been beating yourself up over something, I want you to do me a favor and to stop waiting for the motivation because motivation is unreliable. You're not always going to be motivated to do things, you're not always gonna be motivated to wake up at 5 a.m. You're not always gonna be motivated, motivated to meal prep, or be motivated to, you know, make sure you're, you know, I don't know, running 10 miles a day or reading 10 pages of your self-help book or whatever the case may be. Okay, what matters is discipline. But even more than discipline, it's self-compassion matters. You need to be compassionate for yourself and give yourself that grace. And I don't do that. I'm saying that on here because I want you to do that. I want you to think about what you've been beating yourself up over, because I know it's over something. Nobody's perfect, right? We're all beating ourselves up over something. I want you to just have more self-compassion for yourself because that matters. Being kind to yourself really does matter. Because on the days when I'm hard on myself, it's bad. But on the days where I'm like, you know, I need to relax a little bit and understand that blah, blah, blah, I will be like, I will feel better. You need to talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. And like, like, you know, the way I talk to my sisters and my best friends, and the way I amp them up and the way I'm always there for them, and just the way I'm always talking them up, that's how I should be talking to myself. Because you need to talk to yourself with love and kindness and understand that you are worthy of so much more, and you need to stop beating yourself up over the things that you can't control in this very moment. You know, I wouldn't go to my best friends and say, you know, you're a failure because you missed a couple workouts, or I wouldn't say, you know, you should quit your job because your life got hard, or you should quit your podcast or your book that you're writing because you missed a couple months. Like I would never say that to them. I would remind them that they're doing the best that they can and just to keep showing up every day as they are, and it'll continue to get better. So I don't understand why I can't give myself that same grace. Why do I why can I talk everybody else up and tell them you're the best person I know and you can do this? Of course, you're not a failure. You got this, you know. Remember who you are, like remember how amazing you are, like you're just going through something. Why can't I talk to my own self like that? And I I don't I don't know why it's I've been digging deep this past weekend about it, and I don't I gen I don't have an answer when I have one. I don't know, I'll let you know. But um, I don't know. Today for me, it isn't about making you know huge changes. It's just today for me, it's just about like making one small promise to myself and keeping it, no matter if it's drinking more water, going for a walk, I don't know, writing that next page in the book that I've been working on for a freaking year, whether it be doing another, you know, a 25-minute workout versus you know, one at the studio, I don't know, maybe it's just waking up at 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. one day this week. Like I'm trying to remember that you cannot build, like Rome wasn't built in a day, so I can't like stack all these things on top of each other and try to conquer the world in one day because it is not reality. I need to just make one small promise to myself and then keep that promise, no matter how small it may be, and then you continue on to make one more promise and one more promise, and then the consistency will build your habits. And I have to remember that just because I've been, you know, a little MIA lately, it doesn't mean that I decided to quit. It just means that it doesn't want and yeah, it doesn't mean that I decided to quit, and it doesn't mean I have to restart my entire life every time I fall off track. I don't know why I always feel that way. I don't know why I always feel like I have to like shut down all my social media, I gotta just restart, I gotta delete all everything and and just restart everything because I have been, you know, a fuck up for the past month or whatever, even though I haven't been. I just haven't been really consistent with this podcast in general, and then you know, with my workouts and things like that, because I've been really just there's been a lot going on in my personal life, but I have to remember, like, I'm not deciding to quit. I don't have to restart my whole life every time I fall off track for a little bit. I just have to take the next step, and I just have to understand that we're all human and it's okay to fall, it's okay just pick ourselves back up and continue to do it and make yourself that promise and just just stop, you know, and it's I don't know, it's just been really getting to me that I just took so long to get back on here because I do have people that listen and I do have people that will message me and be like, when's your next episode coming out? Like, I listened to it on my commute to work, or oh, your latest episode like really helped me so much. And it like genuinely this is about not only me just like being super vulnerable, which I don't know why I've decided to live my life in the public eye, I guess you would say. Not like I'm like a celebrity or something, but you know what I mean. Like for the world to just know my business. I don't know. There's something like inside me that just tells me to do it because I feel as if I can help people, and I have I have had people reach out to me about the podcast, about my books and things like that. And um I I really want to stay consistent with this because you know, not that this is like my job, it doesn't, you know, make me money, it doesn't pay my bills or anything like that, but it helps people, and I do get messages being like, when is your next episode coming out? Or, you know, I heard you were writing another book, like when is that coming out? Like, and I'm just like, you know, when I hear these people say these things to me, or you know, your up your latest episode like really spoke to me, it really like helped me get through the day. Like, I'm like, oh my god, like I want to cry, like thank you so much. Like that meant so much to me, and that's why I do this really, because I feel like I have so much knowledge with so many things, you know, not only you know, the eating disorders and things like that, but like being a mom, being a business owner, having anxiety, having mental health shifts, and you know, having going through two divorces and and having just so many things go on all the time. I just feel like I would love to help people that need a little pick-me-up or just need to understand that they aren't alone because when we feel like we're alone, it's like the worst ever. And it really can affect someone's like mental health when you feel like no one else is around for you. And that's why I like to speak raw and real on this about just life in general. So um, I just wanted to, you know, let everyone know that I am still here, I'm still alive, I am getting back on track, and I want to most importantly thank you guys for giving me the space to start. Again. Um, I'm going to really work hard with being consistent on this because it is very important to me. I started it for a reason and I'm going to continue to do it. But until next time, which I hope is next week, I keep saying that, but I don't want to set out that expectation and then not have an episode out next week. So until next time, which I hope is very soon, I want you guys just to remember that life is messy and balance is never ever perfect. We're all just barely balanced, right? That's why I named that podcast that because we're all just juggling all of these things, juggling life, and trying to navigate it in our own way. So when you get stuck in your head and you feel like you're a failure, you feel like you're gonna give up, or you feel like you're a fuck up, or you're this, or you're that, you're not, we all fuck up, we all fall off the wagon. The most important part is remembering who you are and getting back on that wagon. And no matter how many times you have to start over, start over. No matter how many people talk bad about you or make up rumors about you, or um people negative self-talk you, or people put you down, or whatever the case may be in your current situation, whether it's if you don't talk to relatives, or you have, like I said, have people talking negative about you, or you have people that stop being your friends because you know they can't handle what you post on your social media. I've just there's so many things I hear all day, every day about so many people. Like, just keep it moving and and stay true to who you are because at the end of the day, it only you you know who you are, you know the type of person you are, you know what you bring to the table. It doesn't matter if those people are talking about you or these people don't want to be in your lives. I always try to remember to tell myself that certain people are meant to be in your lives for a season, and some just leave, but some are meant to stay forever, and I feel like everybody that was in my life was in my life for a reason, and some people that aren't, they're not supposed to be here anymore, and I just have to remind myself of that, and I want you guys to remember that as well, and remember that no matter how messy your life is right now, or I don't know, or how I don't know, just you know what I mean. Like however messy it is, just keep it moving, keep getting back on the wagon, and eventually, like I said, the habits, I mean your consistency of these things will turn into your daily routine. And if you're struggling just with knowing your worth, just try to dig really, really deep and remember again who you are, what you bring to the table, and if people in your life want to be in your life, they will be. And if people are really on your side, they will not put you down, they will not negative self-talk you, they will not say your dreams are silly, or they will not stop being friends with you because you're becoming successful. I don't know, the stories I hear are just crazy, you know, but we have to just stay aligned with, you know, our you know, we have to stay aligned with what we want in life and just drown out all the noise and keep it moving. So this is a little bit of a shorter episode. I just wanted to hop on just to give you guys a little insight on what was going on and put a little self, you know, help talk in there also, and just to give you a little reminder of how great you are and how amazing you are, and just keep getting back up. No matter how many times you fall, you're gonna keep falling, and you're gonna keep getting back up. And I promise you it's gonna be okay. And I hope that I can continue to tell myself these amazing things. I hope I can talk to myself the way I'm talking to you guys. So I hope you guys have a great rest of your day, and I hope to talk to you soon. Thank you guys for listening to another episode. Bye.