EnneagramU
Unlock your true you! Dive into the Enneagram with Damon & Kelly. Personalities, relationships, work - it's all here, every Wednesday. #EnneagramU #WorkplaceDynamics #EmotionalHealth
EnneagramU
THE ONE
Damon and Kelly welcome a guest host!...or do they?
Today we finally get to the numbers starting at the top with The One.
This episode promises a profound understanding of the One personality type.
Ones are people who bring immense value. We also consider suitable career paths and ways to bolster their success.
Also, did you know animals are associated with different Enneagram personalities?
Find out which animal represents the One.
Join us on this enlightening expedition and leave enriched, aware, and curious. Catch you on the next episode of Enneagram U!
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Hello everyone, this is Andy Stanley, and I'd like to welcome you to Enneagram U with Damon and Kelly, where they will explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you, whether you're a skeptic or an enthusiast. Together they'll take you on a journey of self-discovered using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U and, by the way, this isn't really Andy Stanley, this is just an AI. How cool is that?
Speaker 2:That is so cool. Oh my goodness, andy Stanley, are we in trouble? I think it might be illegal.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, you did give a disclaimer, so yeah, that was an AI that my son created using some software somewhere on the internet and where they take samples. Man, I don't know, I don't even know how to follow that. They take samples of a person's voice. You can get it off their podcast or off of Andy's case and he's sermon that he's ever preached, and then they put it all together and it'll do inflection and just the way he did his us and yes. Like how cool is that? You know, that's how he.
Speaker 3:It totally sounded like him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's how he would say it.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. So Well, that has changed my feeling. Word that I was going to come in and say I feel relaxed. You know, I had a good weekend away and now I'm feeling a bit freaked out.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:All this.
Speaker 3:AI stuff Like it's so cool. I'm like, oh, this is so awesome. Until it's like, oh, like, what's the dark side of AI?
Speaker 2:There's, there's plenty of it, I think. I think people are freaking out somewhat, as you are and as I am and oh, by the way, my name is Damon and this is my friend Kelly. We're just going to jump in. Welcome to any grand new. So Kelly, how are you feeling today after that?
Speaker 3:It is a little freaky to me. I was introduced to AI stuff. I was introduced to AI, I think, maybe when it started to emerge, at least in popular cultural awareness, at the beginning of the year. It feels like and now it is just like caught fire and I think it's so cool because it's like, oh yeah, you can look up a question or you know different ways that I'm hearing people use it, and then you just wonder I guess for me, as the eight, like, I was wondering like, but what's the bad side, what's the dark side of this? It just feels like are they going to take over the world, damon?
Speaker 2:Well, right, and they don't. People listening right now don't even know whether or not we are AI's. Maybe we are too, we're just so. No, they know, they know there's like not that guy. There's no one that would reproduce that.
Speaker 3:Do you think anyone's like taking our voices and making a promo for anybody?
Speaker 2:I highly, highly, highly doubt it. But, someone could be working on. You know more devious things, I mean the deep fakes, and they're doing all of it with not only questions and language, but also graphics, video, all kinds of things. I've seen videos of political figures playing video games streaming on Twitch and you just look like it looks like Donald Trump, it looks like Barack Obama and sounds like them so they're playing video games together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, yeah, like I don't know Halo or something newer than that, of course. But yeah, they're doing and they're cussing along the way and it's funny and you're all laughing at it and you know it's not them, but it's good enough that something else could be created that you don't know if it's really them or not?
Speaker 3:Well, and it just brings up the point like how are we going to know what is actual true, what's?
Speaker 1:true and what's?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ai, you know? Or what's true news versus? I mean, and I guess we don't know.
Speaker 2:I think we have to question Is there any true news out there? Hey, yeah, right, I think we just have to question everything and hang on for the ride and know it's all gonna turn out good in the end, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:because I need to be positive yes.
Speaker 3:Well, so that's how I'm feeling, damon, how are you feeling I am?
Speaker 2:feeling incredibly anxious, right now. My palms are sweating. Andy Stanley was here.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've come off a couple of busy weeks and so now I'm not as busy, and it just creates this little bit of like what am I missing?
Speaker 1:What am I?
Speaker 2:forgetting, and I think it's just pace of life really. So yeah, that's how I'm feeling. I don't think it's a strong anxiety, but just a little bit like okay, I should have more work to do than this right now.
Speaker 3:Am I missing something? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think it's just really the ebb and flow of life, and there are people listening right now that are really really busy and they're like I wish I could say that and yeah. So, but I am also excited that we are turning a corner today.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And one of the reasons we used Andy Stanley is because we think that Andy Stanley might be a one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's what I've read.
Speaker 2:And that's what we're gonna. We're starting to talk about numbers today.
Speaker 3:The numbers. Thank you for hanging with us all these weeks as we built the foundation, and now we're jumping into the numbers.
Speaker 2:The number one Right, and we think Andy's a one. I don't know where I heard that. I think it was a podcast potentially, and I believe he's admitted that he's a bit of a perfectionist, which is a trait of the one.
Speaker 3:That's right. Yeah, the one is the good person, Like you were saying. The downfall I think for ones is how good is good enough? And so, then, that perfectionism can sneak in and wanting to make the world a better place, but then also really struggle with their own internal perfectionism.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do we think, I think, when we approach every number, wouldn't it be cool if we could? Just I don't know if we can do it the same every week, but maybe we could ask similar questions about every number and help people figure out. Is that me? Or even if they know they're a certain number, I think we. What does that look like?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What does that look like for them and how to be healthy, and all that. Did you give us a? You gave us a link early on in another episode, right To take a test or something to figure out your number.
Speaker 3:Yes, did we do that. We'll make sure, if we haven't, to maybe put it in this In the show notes. Notes. Yes, there are different assessments to take and again, I really appreciate the free ones that you can take. This one that we'll put in the show notes Just gives you a good general three top numbers and then, true Enneagram. Teachers would say don't just take a test, even if you take more of the extensive test. Don't just take a test, but listen to the numbers. Listen what resonates within you for each of the numbers.
Speaker 2:And maybe get some feedback from some other people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's really gonna show who you are. On your best day and on your most challenging day, you know as well cause we hold both, you know. And for the one for them, on their best day, they are just very self-disciplined. They are principled. They value making the world better, making themselves better, helping us, helping others to be better as well. So that is one of the strong points. For them is just as the good responsible person.
Speaker 2:They're the.
Speaker 3:that's their classic those are some classic traits.
Speaker 2:Yes, for sure. Okay, and also you, really you leaned on the positive side, so that was their strengths. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean they have a moral compass. They are ethical and reliable, like if you are working with a one. You probably don't even have to check back in with them on a project because they're just gonna get it done, because that's the right thing to do. So they're motivated by doing the right thing doing what is good.
Speaker 2:It seems like a one would be focused on doing things. Of course I'm gonna go to the negative. Darn it.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna be negative, hey, that's why we have you on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause, like, if you're a one then and you're trying to do right things all the time, I would be hesitant to do anything cause I couldn't get it perfect. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, and that's where perfectionism has to be something that a one is aware of, just that struggle with perfectionism and knowing that you can't be perfect but you can work towards excellence. It doesn't mean you have to be like on the whole other side of the spectrum of just not doing anything but just having that question for yourself, like what works for me.
Speaker 2:I've heard it said that one can say things like there's always room for improvement.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I don't know that that's negatively, that's a negative thing. Maybe that can be a positive piece. I mean, there's always room for improvement. I even say that. I mean I think we all do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but then also knowing too when is good enough enough. So having people in their life that can help them with some of those boundaries, for sure. One example I give with the ones that I think we can all relate to. So this is kind of a perspective of a one's world, so laundry do you? Like to do laundry Do you do laundry?
Speaker 2:Do you do laundry Like like?
Speaker 3:So people like different chores.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't mind throwing some clothes in the washing machine and turning it on. And then later throwing them in the dryer.
Speaker 3:And then If they're not already dry from the length of time they stay.
Speaker 2:Right, right. So like is no, yeah, okay, I would say no.
Speaker 3:Laundry is one of those things I like to do, but you know it's one of those chores that there's so many dang stages. So you gather the clothes, you sort them, you put them in the washer, dry or fold them, put them away, and so you know that feeling whenever everything is done, like there is no dirty clothes in the house at all and it's like, ah, it's good, yes, like no dirty clothes.
Speaker 2:No more, any clothes anymore. Yes, oh.
Speaker 3:Don't use any towels.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 3:Well, but yeah, this is just the point. So for five minutes all the laundry's done.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:But then something gets dirty again, and that's kind of the challenge for the one. This is like their world, it's like ah, just when something is right or good or done, complete, there's something else that has to be now worked on.
Speaker 2:And when you say ah, that means it's a little frustrating to them to start over.
Speaker 3:So that's the challenge for the one. Their best setting struggle then is the frustration of that. So that can move into a place for ones of struggling with anger Now, because anger isn't a good feeling or a right feeling, at least for ones they don't think of it as a good. I know we say with our feelings and what we want our listeners to know is that feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. It's what we do with our feelings that matter. But for a one anger feels like a wrong emotion to have. So they'll just keep stuffing that anger down unless they're aware that anger is their best setting struggle and then it'll start to come out sideways. So the dark side for the one their anger comes out in micromanaging maybe some resentments, some criticisms, judgment of self and others, and so it's like that anger just kind of permeates and then just starts to kind of ooze out, especially at others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm gonna say this back to you poorly, but they're looking for the world to be perfect. They're trying to make it so, so it should be this way it could be this way, it ought to be that way. So there's always room for improvement, so we're gonna try harder. So I got all those clothes done. I folded them, put them away or hung them up, and it's beautiful. And now someone wore the shirt again.
Speaker 3:And it starts over and it shouldn't be that way, it should stay perfect, right? Yeah, and it just doesn't. And so, for a one, they really need to embrace the anger, and I think a good practice is to just process those anger feelings each day, not to ask yourself, am I angry? Because a one would probably say no, I'm not angry, but just be able to say, okay, what was frustrating about today, or what was maybe a way that I saw myself being critical of myself or others today?
Speaker 2:You know what are some of those ways that that anger's come out sideways, so they kind of believe a lie, and one of the lies that they might believe is that it they can't make a mistake, like it's not okay to make a mistake.
Speaker 3:Right, it's not okay to make a mistake, it's not okay to do anything wrong, and I think that can put ones in a fear base too, of like oh okay, what do I need to do to keep myself from making a mistake or doing something wrong? So there can be that hyper vigilance within themselves, Self criticism.
Speaker 3:I've heard one say that they have a voice of a constant inner critic, like okay, yeah, I got this done, but it could have been done better or I should have done this different. Should, like you were saying, those shoulds and ought tos are huge in the self-talk messages for a one we learned about the triads?
Speaker 2:Yes, and the triads are the three numbers that go together, that are all based around how our motives. Is that the right word?
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, our triads based on yeah, the predominant emotion, that we experience but then also like how those triads like are working in the world.
Speaker 2:So the one is part of the gut triad with the eight, nine and one Right so you're an eight, I'm potentially a nine and there's ones listening out there I could be a one, though, like you're saying a lot of things I relate to, and is that because my number is in the same triad?
Speaker 3:Well, it can definitely be because of that. But also the numbers to each side of your core number are the wings. So, damon, as a nine, your wings are eight and one, and so if a lot is resonating with you with the one, you probably have a dominant one wing.
Speaker 2:What if we get to the eight? And a lot is resonating with me there.
Speaker 3:Well, and this is where you're unique in the nine space let's not talk about nines.
Speaker 2:You take on attributes of all the numbers we talk way too much about nines, and I am gonna. I think my new goal is just that I'm gonna retake the test and I am going to change my number. I'm gonna break this whole Indian.
Speaker 3:Grand thing, if only.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna break it. All I'm gonna break it. What's the rebellious number, because that is.
Speaker 1:Then your Wikipedia will be, Damon Fontanel, the guy who broke the Inie.
Speaker 2:Agreeable, yeah, I don't know, I don't think anyone can. I think I've tried a couple of times.
Speaker 1:but I think it'd be fun, don't keep trying.
Speaker 2:Maybe I can transform myself into a different number. I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, but hey, you're reflective of the one that's like well, maybe I could just perfect myself or perfect something else, darn it.
Speaker 2:So You've got me again I need to like shoot for something that's way, way, way far away from the nines and the guts and all that. Like some like the four, the four, the four's heart, yeah, I can be a four, an artist.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, and as a nine, you do take on the attributes of all the other numbers. So, with your core motivation of peace and oh yeah, Everybody just quit listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2:Okay Well, I remember you talking a while ago and this is just really weird, but evidently there are animals that go with the different numbers and yeah, I'm just going to let you talk. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Well, what's that about? Yeah, I think. Just looking at again the personalities and what animals may be connected to the different personalities, so they say that a one's animal is a barking dog.
Speaker 2:Really? Yeah, I didn't remember that and wouldn't have guessed that. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's this idea that, because ones are constantly thinking through what needs to be improved maybe this ticker tape of all the different things that need to be done, so it's like this constant barrage of things that are just going through their self-talk, so it almost becomes like they're barking at themselves If I need to do this, I need to do this but then also barking at others, because, again, ones want to improve themselves and others. So a lot of times that can spill over into kind of ordering or challenging others in their life to improve as well.
Speaker 2:You hear that, Andy Stanley, you are a barking dog. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm glad he recorded our intro before we hear that Torm apart right there.
Speaker 2:What do you think? Yeah, so a one in their healthy maybe you've already said this a little bit, but in their healthy state we go back and we all want to be the healthy version of our number. Let's describe that a little bit more. Because, I want people to leave feeling good about what they just heard and if you listen to me, it's just going to keep going down the negative path a little bit.
Speaker 3:Hey, this is transformation that you want to end on a positive. Yeah, ah, ah.
Speaker 2:Let's not leave them just all confused and mad at the end of the podcast.
Speaker 1:How about something?
Speaker 2:hopeful.
Speaker 3:Making ones more angry is probably not helpful yeah.
Speaker 2:What can we? What when a one looks in the mirror and they're struggling with perfection and those more difficult things? What is a healthy one look like?
Speaker 1:And what do?
Speaker 2:they bring to the world? I assume they bring better things because they always wanted to be improved.
Speaker 3:Yes, ones are a gift to the world because they bring so much good just by being themselves and just by being in the environments you know, with their ideas and different things that they bring to the table. I mean, they really lead the charge in how to be responsible, how to move things forward in a positive direction. So, yes, they are a gift to the world and I would say, a great self-awareness step for the ones. Again, daily journaling and I know people aren't huge fans of journaling, unless you are, but then it's- I don't know one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, give me time, but just being able every day to just practice processing feelings, naming those feelings, especially some of the anger feelings, I think that's going to be a gateway for freedom, for ones and then also a daily gratitude of, like, what were things today that I can look back on and be grateful for, because you probably look back on a one's day and if anybody else but the one is looking at it, they're like oh my gosh, look at all the good things that you did today.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say that, like, if I'm looking at a one, I'm thinking you are accomplishing things none of us would ever get to, and doing it at such an excellent level.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And from the outside we're all saying wow, yet sometimes on the inside they're saying nope, not good enough.
Speaker 3:Right, or yeah, I did that, but I didn't even pause to celebrate that, and now I need to move on to the next thing. Ok, yeah. So I'd say another thing for a one is take time to celebrate, and it doesn't have to be every day there's a celebration, but like, hey, at the end of a project, I'm going to make sure that I mark this with a celebration. Maybe it's doing something just for yourself, some self-care. Maybe it's having dinner with someone to celebrate an accomplishment. So having those places of celebration, I think, is really important for a one too.
Speaker 2:When you said project, that just put in my head that I wonder if there are certain jobs that numbers lean toward, like careers things like that, where I know we can't box all that up. Because, in any career, any number can bring about good things. But I wonder if, like if we surveyed ones, I wonder what the dominant career would be, career choice would be, or what they would want to do or that would be helpful for people as well.
Speaker 2:Or I wonder if there are careers that's like if you go into sales. I'm not saying it's for a one, it's probably not but if I go into sales, if I'm a one, will I be more successful than a six? I mean, I don't even know if there's a book like that or something. There probably is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know that there have been different career paths that each of the numbers can go into and I'd say there's probably a vast variety of different jobs for one, anything that would make the world better. So you think about teachers. There's probably many teachers that have gone into their profession because it's the right thing to do, you know, and they want to better our world with pouring into Our future. I think a lot of our leaders are ones and a lot of ways, probably a lot of ministers. Well, and Andy Stanley would fall into that as a one, because, hey, it's the right profession to go into. So, yeah, I think the ones probably got a more of a variety of different occupations what do you find?
Speaker 2:How do you find working with the one? Is that the right how to say that? Yeah when you're working with the one. What is that like?
Speaker 3:yeah, Well, I have found it especially. We want to look at that. There's a continuum, you know. So we have the healthy ones all the way to the unhealthy. So the healthy ones that I have worked with know, know that they are ones, and so they are also looking at that line between, okay, what's gonna work, versus making this exhausting for everybody by trying to get it perfect. So being able to know that about themselves, also for ones to be able to trust you with helping to carry the load I think for one, so often if they don't trust the others that they're working with, they become micro managers really fast and so being able just to know that, hey, you can trust me, I'm gonna follow through with what I say, I'm gonna follow through on, we're gonna work on this to better this together yeah, you said earlier that One you give them a project, or if they have their own project, usually don't have to check in on them again.
Speaker 2:they're gonna write they're gonna. It's gonna get done perfectly yeah, or as perfect as they can do it well, we're gonna all think it's perfect.
Speaker 3:they won't think it's perfect, but Wow, yeah, that's right, darn it one yeah, it's perfect, I promise it's really good.
Speaker 1:Yes, let yourself.
Speaker 2:That's good enough, yeah mm-hmm, it's okay not to be completely okay. It's okay not to be okay completely, because the truth is none of us are right. And then here I found a little saying. I have a little cheat note here and I already said one of these statements. I'm gonna say both of them. The lies ones ones believe that it's not okay to make a mistake yeah and the truth I one needs to hear is you are good mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, and I think for each number, if there's a mantra that we could just take and just breathe in and breathe out, I think for the one that the mantra would be I am good and I bring good to the world, you know. So it's like inside, I'm gonna breathe in, I am good. That is the truth. None of us are perfect, but I am good. And then, breathing out, I bring good to the world mm-hmm, I can see ones being a little OCD mm-hmm because they want everything perfect right and control as a part of that to mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:If they know they're good, maybe they can and believe that they can let go a little bit of that and maybe they practice things like messing things up on purpose. Yeah, you know like, okay, you cleaned your whole house, now go through and just throw all you all your clothes on the floor. Yeah, all your pillows on the floor.
Speaker 3:Just mess things up and just set set with it for a bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, do not put away your coat when you get home.
Speaker 3:don't put it in the closet Throw it over a chair and leave it dirty dishes in the sink. Oh, hour hour or overnight, yeah there's my one way yeah, that's painful, be hard for me.
Speaker 2:I don't always love. I really I despise dishes and everything about them, but I do have a hard time going to bed if the dishes aren't at least in the dishwasher yeah so mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:So that may be your mess to be willing to do maybe your homework assignment.
Speaker 2:I'm married to a three and we'll get into that later, but it ain't gonna happen.
Speaker 3:Just tell her this is a homework assignment we have to do. Kelly said dirty dishes have to stay overnight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in the sink yeah, we'll get to them in the morning. We run into that every once in a while where I will not remember to set the dishwasher to run automatically and we'll wake up and the dishes are still dirty in the dishwasher there's a conversation in the morning.
Speaker 3:I'll just leave it at that. Well, I know, because you need some of those things yeah, to start the next day.
Speaker 3:So true, my perfection often yeah someone else's task list yes, for sure, and there again there's a lot of strength of getting the dishes done you know, the next day, your future self is glad that that cup is ready or that whatever is ready. But you know, sometimes having that space of going, okay, you know what, we're just gonna let that go and it's gonna be okay, it's okay once you're, you're way more perfect than the rest of us all.
Speaker 2:Right, he's. Just let me say that good job you are good. You are so good for all the goodness that you bring to the world, for sure, thank you for straightening us all up and holding that high standard, and we are so happy to know you. Yes, well, kelly's has been great. We're gonna wrap it up for today, and that was the one. What number are we going to know? We don't always going in order, so what are we gonna do? Are we gonna go to to?
Speaker 3:next week because it's the right thing to do. We should probably go to you, okay.
Speaker 2:All right, everybody, thanks for joining us on any a gram. You and we will see you next time. By Kelly, by Damon.