EnneagramU
Unlock your true you! Dive into the Enneagram with Damon & Kelly. Personalities, relationships, work - it's all here, every Wednesday. #EnneagramU #WorkplaceDynamics #EmotionalHealth
EnneagramU
Enneagram Wings: 3w2 The Enchanter, 3w4 The Expert, 4w3 The Aristocrat, 4w5 The Free Spirit
3w2 The Enchanter, 3w4 The Expert, 4w3 The Aristocrat, 4w5 The Free Spirit
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Welcome to Enneagram U, damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. With your skeptic or an enthusiast, together, we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon and I'm here with my friend, kelly. Hi, kelly, hey, damon, hey.
Speaker 2:You know, I am feeling energized.
Speaker 1:Well, good for you.
Speaker 2:If looks could kill.
Speaker 1:You are energetic today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even though it's kind of a rainy day outside, it just, I don't know, nothing stops you. I know I mean, if I'm exhausted I do find myself dragging at times, but today, even before I left for work, I was able to get some things done around the house and, yeah, I've just gotten a lot of things checked off my list. So, as an eight, that energizes me.
Speaker 1:It's called dopamine. Yeah, yeah, that's what you got. I'm a junkie.
Speaker 2:You got going with the checklist there, yes, yeah, how are you feeling?
Speaker 1:Pretty much out of it today. Okay, Today, yeah, feeling groggy tired not myself.
Speaker 2:So we're going to be opposites today, I guess. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:Stayed up too late, got up too early something like that and just haven't, hasn't been clicking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did you get good sleep, though when you slept.
Speaker 1:Let me check my sleep app.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, you got your sleep app going. I'm using a sleep app. Thank you that are listening. Have a sleep app. I don't have a sleep app. Maybe I need to get one.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you I hate this thing so much, so much. Here's how much sleep I got, and I don't know if this is good or bad, but I'm assuming four hours and 10 minutes is not good.
Speaker 2:Oh, that would be one of those Like is it even worth it? Yeah, Does it make you more tired to just sleep?
Speaker 1:four hours. Well, what's weird about these sleep apps? And again, I need education on this but they'll tell you how long you're in bed and how long you're asleep, and I fall asleep like in the hair. It says. I fell asleep in six minutes.
Speaker 2:OK, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1:So, then, that means I'm waking up throughout the night several times and there is a dog in our room, and I do blame the dog mostly for all of it.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, they say, the more people in a room, the more times you're going to wake up, because the average person moves so many times through the night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I have to confess there's way more snoring that happens than I realized through the years.
Speaker 2:The dog, of course. Yeah, I'm sure it is.
Speaker 1:But that dog snored for two minutes last night and nine minutes the night before, oh man, and I never knew that dog snored it. So I got to sleep app.
Speaker 2:Wow, and so that app. You just set it next to your bed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really invasive, it just feels just strange.
Speaker 2:It's not watching you.
Speaker 1:But it pays attention to movement, I guess. And then, if you move at 3 AM, well, if you get up and go to the bathroom, it knows you're awake, but you don't wear anything. No, it's probably not that accurate.
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like four hours Going on, four and hour Four hours, it's good. Oh, ok, and then it gives you a percentage, and so it's supposed to be helpful, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think it is messing with your piece.
Speaker 1:It might be, but I don't care. I'm going to take it on anyway. I've been using it for months.
Speaker 2:Yes, take it on. Well, as we're talking about wings, that would be your eight. I'm going to take it on, and then also the one I'm going to do it right. Yeah, I'm pretty much winging it today. Yes, winging it. There we go.
Speaker 1:Dun-dun-dun. Yeah, so last week let's just recap really quick we talked about I'm going to say this quick we did a one wing nine, one wing two, two wing one, two wing three.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're talking about the wings?
Speaker 1:Yes, and they all had names like the Optimus, the Antagonist.
Speaker 2:No, that wasn't one.
Speaker 1:Was that one of them? Well, no, but they've got names just to kind of help us remember.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll tell you a story I heard this morning. I was talking to somebody and she loves the Enneagram. So she said that she had gone to a friend's house for a birthday for her friend's birthday and her friend is a one wing two and she said, yeah, it was really sweet. She said she, the birthday girl who's a one wing two, had gifts for all of her friends at her own birthday party. Oh wow. I'm like that would be a one wing two.
Speaker 1:You could compete with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're just so thoughtful and it's the right thing to do. Yeah, and they're giving, so they are the well, that would be called the activist. So I guess that would be a way for them to be.
Speaker 1:Or another word you use with advocate.
Speaker 2:Advocate. Yes, that's right, yeah, so I just thought that was cool.
Speaker 1:Look at me remembering things.
Speaker 2:I know, Damon, especially when you only had four hours of sleep.
Speaker 1:Maybe I should just have four hours of sleep every night.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well.
Speaker 1:I'm really sharp today.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:On top of it, what is today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, important things Like the Enneagram wings.
Speaker 1:You're right, exactly.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Do we have more wings today? We?
Speaker 2:do have wings, and I love being able to talk about the wings because you know we have our core numbers, but then we tap into those numbers on each side, so it's important for us to know what those are.
Speaker 1:So we did those others last week and just to remind everybody, just jump back an episode and you can start at the beginning and then jump back to where you are right now and that's probably all way too much effort, so you won't.
Speaker 2:But if you ever decide to, If you only get four hours of sleep last night, you probably won't.
Speaker 1:But yeah, or you'll fall asleep.
Speaker 2:Yes. So today, as we explore the wings, we're going to be talking about the three, so the three wing two and the three wing four. And so the three we know is the successful person. It is the efficient and effective person, kind of the one that gets a lot of things done, a lot of energy. So the three wing twos label is the enchanter OK, yeah, interesting and the three wing four is the expert.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. Yeah, so we'll dive into what that looks like.
Speaker 2:So again we know both of those wings. They're gonna have ambition as part of it, driven because those are just all threes, but the enchanter is a little more driven than the expert. So the three wing two is a little more driven in what they do than the three wing four. They said another title for this three wing two is the star. So you know we said for the threes they like to be stars.
Speaker 1:You know I'm married to three, so I already know.
Speaker 2:Let's just keep going yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean it's the worst news ever. Let's just keep going.
Speaker 2:The worst news ever. Oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker 1:You were like, oh yeah, out of the two, I'm sure she's a three wing two, and you said that one has more energy. I'm like, of course I know that.
Speaker 2:Well, and knowing your sweet wife like she does have that loving, helper side of her and she just does it in such an efficient and effective way, which would be the three wing two for sure. And so for the three wing two, here's some things that they really get annoyed with or that can be really hurtful to them.
Speaker 1:I need a pencil. Let me write this down.
Speaker 2:Yes, we need to have show notes for you, Damon. So, you can be the best husband you can be.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 2:So a three wing two would say please don't tarnish my reputation. So, they work really hard to be seen and valued in the person that they are, and so tarnishing their reputation might maybe speaking negatively about them they are just that would not be good.
Speaker 1:I never do that. No, not at all, never do it.
Speaker 2:Another thing that they would say that they are asking us not to do is say that they have failed us.
Speaker 1:I think I'm good. I think I'm good, that's kind of deep?
Speaker 2:Can you imagine going to somebody going? You failed me, yeah, but I can't imagine that no but three's failure. Is that trigger word for a three Mm-hmm? And then also the third thing they ask us please don't forget to tell me I'm appreciated.
Speaker 1:Okay, guilty on that one.
Speaker 2:We found a winner Ding, ding, ding, yes. So being able just to they do so much, so being able just to say gosh, I so appreciate you doing this or doing that, so that'll definitely score you some spouse brownie points.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, I'm typing it in my phone. You're typing fast, I am.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even for being groggy.
Speaker 1:Yep, well, I'm sharp today, you are sharp. Yes, in a in a in a groggy sort of way For our sleep way yeah.
Speaker 2:So three words that we would describe the three wing to. They are ambitious, they're also charming. So again that two wing. They are so personable and they are also confident.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You say that like oh Well, she's just so stereotyped right now. Well, she is.
Speaker 2:And then here are some things that they really love. So a three wing to loves being the life of the party. I don't know about that one for her, but okay, I would see that I think maybe we're not thinking like a seven is the life of the party. They're the life of, like this big party. I think for the three wing to they would definitely be the life of maybe their small group or the people that they're really, really close to.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that with your wife too, like she loves to gather people.
Speaker 1:For sure yeah.
Speaker 2:And then they also love serving others, that's true. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's really true?
Speaker 2:Yes, and another thing that they're really good at is making new friends.
Speaker 1:That's also true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so they've got some similarities to that. Two. Wing three, you know as the hostess, but also someone who is welcoming people, making new friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and loves to host, loves to host.
Speaker 2:So there's that was.
Speaker 1:Isn't that the name? That's the name for the two wing three. Two wing three, yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, but we could also say that it's probably three wing two, yeah, as well, as they have a lot of hosting, just making people feel comfortable, and the new friends. I think for the three wing two, it is that two just values knowing people, and so for the three, having that two wing, they just really value those relationships.
Speaker 1:We've moved several times in our lifetime and each new town I moved to I make no new friends and so I still have zero, but every town we moved to she makes a ton of friends and that's why she has thousands of followers on Facebook or friends on Facebook.
Speaker 2:I mean for sure she keeps those relationships going and lucky for you, cause you would just be lonely and you know just not having any connections.
Speaker 1:Yep, you got it yeah.
Speaker 2:So anyway, so three wing two. Okay, that's the enchanter.
Speaker 1:Well, I've discovered something. Okay, I've married the exact opposite of me.
Speaker 2:Hey, opposite the tract, and again lucky for you. Yeah, now, if she was here, lucky for her.
Speaker 1:I don't know, we're not even gonna go there, but she can have this microphone anytime she wants.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, if you balance each other out that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a great one.
Speaker 2:Okay, so three wing four is known as the expert. Okay, so they're a little more introspective and creative than other three. So we know the four is that unique, original person, very creative. Another title that's been given to this combination is the professional, although I would think probably a three wing four would be like give me a more creative name, but that's just because they're a little more task oriented than the three wing two. And so, as the expert, here, some things that they would say please don't do these things First, don't be disconnected from me.
Speaker 2:Okay so they really value connection and that three wing four is going to want that deep connection. So the three wing two may have a lot of friends or associates and make touches on each of those friendships, but the three wing four is probably going to go to that deeper end of the pool with relationships. So they love connection, Okay. And then also they say please don't create a negative image of me. So again it's about how they're seen.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then also please don't doubt me, would be what they would say Again, as that expert or the professional like they're going to be successful or know what they're talking about, or want to at least be seen that, and so when you're like, hey, I, I don't know about that, they take that deeply personal.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah Right, I'll watch out.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I know any three, three wing fours.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Think about that. Whoever I have to think about, who I've offended this week, just go back through.
Speaker 2:And so three words that we would describe the three wing four is they are focused. They are also serious and controlled. Okay, so, where the three wing two might be a little more lighthearted, the three wing four is going to be a little bit more serious.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, no, no, keep going. Okay, I have the question at the end.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then just finishing up, the things that they love. They love accomplishing a goal, so give a three a goal, and they love to accomplish it. Also, being able to just be accepted for who they are and then just being able to understand and to really be able to connect with themselves and with others. So the three wing four is going to be again introspective, so they're going to be looking at self-awareness, but then also the desire to know other people too. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, so my question was the extrovert, introvert question. Yes, I think my pattern might be broken already.
Speaker 2:Okay, going around the circle.
Speaker 1:So do we know the answer that we may not know, they're going to answer this question, but is three wing, two more introverted or extroverted? And if we were going by the pattern, they would be more introverted, and I don't think that's true in this case. Right, yeah, I think you've got a pattern buster right there, man, I thought I had a book to write. Yeah, something to bust the enneagram. Yeah, I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2:Well, again, and it's all a continuum, but I would say the three wing two is more extroverted than the three wing four yeah, more introverted. Okay, yeah, all right. So, moving on to the four, I'm going to take a break.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need a nap, a little bit of a nap, and then okay, all right.
Speaker 2:I'll pause here for station identification and. Damon's little nap, all right, and I'm back. Yes, okay, so the four we know again is the original, unique person. They love to be seen as one of a kind and original. And so the four wing three is known as the aristocrat, and the four wing five is the free spirit.
Speaker 2:Oh, all right, yeah, let's keep going, maybe that's going to be our lot in the enneagram piece of the puzzle is coming up with new names. Yeah, I don't know these fit, though yes. So the aristocrat tends to be more social and competitive and energetic. They've also been given the title enthusiastic and they really hope to make a lasting legacy on their community. So they're more outward, you know, like the three, more social, more outward focused, and so they would say please don't label me as fake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's that unique four right, yeah, that's right, and I think that the challenge there is that sometimes the three may put on a persona that might not necessarily be authentic, where a four is going to be very authentic and so being able, just that they're known, that they are not, they are not fake, okay, and what they do, but sometimes with that three-wing it can maybe be perceived as fake, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then also don't cause unnecessary conflict for them.
Speaker 1:All right, I okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that is what it is Got it yes, and then also don't question my emotions, okay.
Speaker 1:And so four is really again. They're authentic. Never do that to a four.
Speaker 2:And so being able just to sit with them in their emotions again not going well. Do you really feel that way? Cause if they're sharing, that's how they're going to feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, and so the three words that we would describe the four-wing three they're very authentic, which we've said that a few times. They're also very understanding. So they are the friend that you can go to and share and they're going to be with you in the depths of their feeling, of your feelings. So they're very understanding and they're also very creative. So they've got that creative side with the four. And then what they love. So this is just what really energizes them. They love being accepted. They also love being artistic. So give them space just to be artistic. And then also they too love to achieve professional goals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that makes sense. So they would be well. I don't know that success really is the defining word, but they definitely would be driven.
Speaker 2:Yes, because that three-wing is strong. For them, success would be important.
Speaker 1:And so we may see our successful artists as being four-winged three.
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean you think about, like we've talked about maybe Taylor Swift as a four and you think of the business side that goes along with that. Like I could definitely see her being that four-winged three or at least having people associated with her. Like I'm just guessing, but I mean seeing, like, the millions and millions of dollars that she's made with her tour. Has she? Yes, she has.
Speaker 1:Well, good for her.
Speaker 2:I would love to be adopted by her. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, but you're right, like the artists or the musicians who really have that success side.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, they got to have some of that for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:Cool, All right. And then the four-winged five. So when we move to the five as a wing, we're moving into the head triad, so automatically that tells us that they're going to be a little more introverted. And so the four-winged five is known as the free spirit, and so they are less concerned about image than other fours. They're also known as the Bohemian, which is a little more unconventional and also a little more prone to melancholy, you know.
Speaker 2:So we've talked about how the four. They're going to be authentic with their feelings. So if they're in a down mood, they're just going to be in a down mood. They're not going to tell themselves I got to snap out of this. They're not going to tell their friends you need to snap out of this. They're going to be really authentic with what they're feeling. Okay, yeah, and may get stuck in that a little bit more. Like the four-winged three is going to have enough motivation to okay, I got to get going, I got to start the day. The four-winged five maybe one that might just say I just need to stay in bed today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, oh yeah, I know some fours. Okay, yeah, I'm thinking, so you're thinking through that?
Speaker 2:Yes, and then you're going to have a lot of time with anything that may be like just mundane bullshit chat. So they're not the ones that just wanna talk. On the surface they see that as a time waster.
Speaker 1:That okay. Okay, yeah, I'm trying. Yeah, again, I'm just doing what I always do and as I'm thinking about people and I'm thinking I think maybe they're here and I'm like how long of a much time of that person's life have I wasted? Yes, yeah, well, maybe when their eyes gloss over. Yeah, I'm just gonna quit talking to them, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Then also they would say please don't reject me. So again, they really, in that heart triad, want to be loved and accepted by others and so when they feel like they've been pushed aside or rejected, it just is really heartbreaking for them and then also don't require a lot of time from me. So again, as being more introverts, they're gonna want to be able to recharge by being alone. So if they feel like too much is expected, or too much of their time is expected, that can be really draining for them. Okay, so a four wing five is also very introspective and creative differing word we would say for the four wing five is also very intellectual. So they're going to be the ones that lean into more research, knowing things, being able to explore a lot of different possibilities, the things that they're very interested in. So maybe it's that creative person, maybe it's the artist, who adds kind of that intellectual component to their artwork.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I would say that is true. If they're humorous, that would be smart humor.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And creative humor. Right, you have to think about and or that you know catches them funny, or they think it's funny and then they send it to you and you're like I don't understand the joke, but they're cracking. Can I have some background to that? But they think it's hilarious. Yeah right, got that.
Speaker 2:And so the last thing that we would share about the four wing five is the things that they love. So they really love alone time, just a day to be able to do what they want to do. You know, for them, their alone time may reflect what, like a nine to alone time would be Just like just having that day to do whatever I want to do. Also, they love artistic expression. So their artistic expression, but also others as well, and then they also, like so many in the head triad, they really love to be appreciated. Okay, yeah, yeah. So being able to see those things that really are the gifts that they bring into the world and appreciating them. You know, like I would imagine for a four wing five that is such a good listener as a friend, that if their friend comes back and circles back around and says, hey, I just want to let you know like I so appreciate you, just how you listen to me, how you create a space for me.
Speaker 1:I think that would fill the tank for a four wing five. I know a four wing five. So, I will just say that I think all of those things line up pretty well. Yes, I mean, I'm putting that person in a box here, but I don't know for sure but I think so Yep, yeah. And when you said it was a reflection of a nine, yeah, we probably do the same things in our downtime.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Similar things. I had a thought regarding the artistic side of the four, and then which wing they have, and this is awful, but it is the four. Wing three is probably, like we said, maybe an artist that can be successful, but then the four wing five is probably your starving artist. Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't be successful.
Speaker 1:So I don't want people to misunderstand that, but a lot of times they're deep thinkers, their art is really art and sometimes those would be misunderstood artists and so they just need people around them to help them move the ball Right.
Speaker 2:And they're probably successful, probably, and, like you said, if they want to be successful so that four, wing five may just decide hey, this is just, I'm putting this into the world and whatever happens, art for art's sake and for its own beauty, and not a monetary thing. But then when someone finds it and it just explodes, that's probably how they're you know they're and they may not like that actually.
Speaker 1:Right so. Now a four wing three is going to be really pursuing that, because their goal is success. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cool, mm-hmm. Yeah, so that is the threes and fours for this week.
Speaker 1:Three wing two, three wing four, four wing three and four wing five. Right, that's pretty good for four hours of sleep.
Speaker 2:It is really good, mm-hmm yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, kelly, that's incredible and hopefully, as you're listening, you will go back and take a listen to the other numbers and I think we're going to move on to the five and the six next time, and that'll be interesting too. My introvert extrovert theory has been broken, so I'm a little grieving that, but I'm going to draw a little circle and make sure that I'm right on that.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, and knowing that you know probably there is the introvert, extrovert connection to the wings, it's just not going in the same direction. You thought, yeah, it should.
Speaker 1:It's I want everything to be lined up in a pattern.
Speaker 2:Yeah, again, hello, when we.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody. Thanks for listening to Enneagram U. We will see you next week and have a fabulous week and get more sleep than four hours.
Speaker 2:Yes, bye Kelly, bye Damon. Tell me what you do Without love in your heart, without love by your side, without love by your side.