EnneagramU
Unlock your true you! Dive into the Enneagram with Damon & Kelly. Personalities, relationships, work - it's all here, every Wednesday. #EnneagramU #WorkplaceDynamics #EmotionalHealth
EnneagramU
Those Crazy Enneagram Arrows!
How well do you understand your Enneagram core number? Are you aware of the significant influence it has on your personality traits? Join Damon and Kelly in a riveting episode of Enneagram U as we unlock the mysteries of Enneagram arrows and their connection to our core numbers. We'll be threading the needle between the theories of stress and health lines while decoding how each number can unravel its unique arrow path. By the end of this chat, you'll have a deep understanding of your stress and growth paths.
As we sail deeper into the Enneagram sea, we'll discuss how these arrows spark the movement between healthy and unhealthy spaces. Ever wondered how the joy-leaning one, the thoughtful seven, and the productive nine utilize their arrows for growth and integration? Our engaging conversation will offer a fresh perspective on navigating the intricate maze of our personality traits. We'll delve into the potential movement that can be achieved between numbers and how this can shape your personal growth trajectory.
But the fun doesn't end there. In the final leg of our journey, we'll dive into the application of Enneagram theory. We'll discuss how you can tap into the wisdom of other numbers and leverage the pros and cons of each number to further your personal development journey. Plus, we'll explore the potential of using an app to monitor your progress. As we wrap up this enlightening episode, we'll underline the importance of understanding your core Enneagram type and how it shapes your very being. Make sure to check out ufaith.com for more Enneagram insights. We promise you, this isn't just another Enneagram conversation. It's a game-changer. So, are you ready to change the game?
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Welcome to Enneagram U with Damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. With your skeptic or an enthusiast, together, we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon and I'm here with my friend Kelly. Hi, kelly, hey Damon, I'm doing very something today.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I'm trying to put my finger on it for the last five minutes and I think I didn't get a workout in this morning.
Speaker 2:I didn't do my walk.
Speaker 1:I feel somewhat out of sorts.
Speaker 2:Okay, that is a feeling out of sorts.
Speaker 1:Yep, so now my whole schedule is blown. I don't anybody listening. That's never happened to you. So your schedule of what you thought was going to happen isn't going to happen, and so now I have to somehow get those things done later in the day and probably have to sacrifice very important things like television watching, Right.
Speaker 2:Well, we are creatures of habit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my day and how I'm feeling. Yes, so out of sorts.
Speaker 2:You know, I kind of am feeling out of sorts too. I think it's just the urgency of the eight. I've told you that I'm a pre-crastinator, so I stress that on the front end, and so I think I'm looking too far ahead at this week and next week and the week after and just like all these things going on.
Speaker 1:Are you busy this week?
Speaker 2:This week is a pretty good rhythm. I think it's just yeah, these added things on my plate, so yeah, so I'm just wanting to get it all done today.
Speaker 1:The urgency. So you're just. You just want to get a lot of things prepared for the upcoming things.
Speaker 2:It's funny. I want to get a lot of things done, so the rest of the time I just coast.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I just have a hard time like maintaining the balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I had a really busy week last week, and so I'm still catching up from that.
Speaker 2:I know you get overloaded. You do yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm sure we're the only two on the planet. Everybody else just like chills out does their job, goes home.
Speaker 2:God bless the rest of you that are healthier.
Speaker 1:And have perfect lives. I'm not bitter, no, not at all. My life is so perfect. Come on, I get to do this podcast. If only yes, and that you know that's awesome right there.
Speaker 2:This is the highlight of the week. Most of the time it is. It's fun, so fun, yes.
Speaker 1:We're talking about today.
Speaker 2:That's how fun it is.
Speaker 1:We are talking about the arrows that we were supposed to name many, many, many episodes ago. Yes, this was going to be your claim to fame Claimed Enneagram.
Speaker 2:Fame was, I think the missing.
Speaker 1:There's a missing piece here, and that is that I need to learn about them first.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, how humble of you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe we should talk about these arrow things. What is an arrow? What does it look like?
Speaker 2:You know, like an arrow yeah but does it?
Speaker 1:it draws a shape with this circle. We have this circle of numbers, and then there's arrows, the arrows do make the Enneagram look like that weird star-like shape.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, when I first it was introduced to the Enneagram I was like what in the world? It looked almost like satanic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just weird. That will make some people not even look at it at all Right, because they'll look at that and they'll say that is evil, I'm out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, but the arrows do have meanings, so this is important.
Speaker 1:Not me and you, though. We looked at it and said that looks evil. Let's try that, yes.
Speaker 2:Let's jump in with both feet.
Speaker 1:I want to get certified in that.
Speaker 2:Let's do a podcast on what pushes the envelope.
Speaker 1:Yeah, living on the edge. That does say a lot about us.
Speaker 2:It does. Yes, so the arrows go from, like, your core number and they go to two other numbers. So if you can imagine like, let's say, for you as the nine, you have an arrow to the three and the six.
Speaker 1:Gotcha.
Speaker 2:And so each number has arrows to two other numbers.
Speaker 1:But I thought initially when I looked at it that they always form the shape of a triangle. But they don't do they.
Speaker 2:No, the only one that does is the three, six, nine. Ok, you're in that blending triangle.
Speaker 1:Yes, I thought everyone was like me.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, the three's in the sixes how?
Speaker 1:humble of me. How special. Yeah, oh my gosh, let's start over.
Speaker 2:That's the four connected to the, or that's the nine connected to the four. There I'm special here, but this is what makes the Enneagram a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:So we have our core number. We just talked about the wings, so each number has their wings. And then, because we don't stay static, we want to continue to grow. It's important to know just more about the numbers that your arrows go to.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:So in Enneagram teachings there's kind of two theories here. One is that one of your lines goes to an arrow, that is your line of stress, where you go when you're under stress, or some call it disintegration.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:Dun, dun dun, you will disintegrate if you go to, this number, or, and then the other one says that your other line goes to the line of health or growth or integration. Cool. So we kind of look at it that way, like one of them goes to just an area that you need to watch for when you get stressed out, and one of them goes to a line that you need to go to to grow.
Speaker 1:And evidently in this theory it's not one of the. I mean, it is a certain number. It is a certain number it isn't that you can go positive towards two numbers. It's in this theory. It's one of the numbers is your positive number and one of the numbers is your negative number. Yes, that's right.
Speaker 2:And so, for example let's just say the one to start out with the one needs to be aware that when they're in their average or unhealthy space, that they can move to the average or unhealthy traits of a four.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So the one, let's say, if they're maybe not dealing with their anger, their anger is coming out sideways. They can start to feel very much like they're on their own, they can feel very much like they're moody, can kind of just go to a dark place.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, Then for the four. Their arrow towards stress or disintegration is the two.
Speaker 1:All right, so that's not confusing I know, but if we could show people the picture it would help. Yes, it would help it would help.
Speaker 2:And so the four if they're in that average or unhealthy space, they could go to the average unhealthy space of the two. And so this is where maybe the four might struggle with again that moodiness that is maybe leaning into some of the pride Like no one is a friend to you, like I am, or just really kind of feeling that alone, but more in that negative kind of way.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:The two goes to the eight.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the two is a loving person. It feels random at this point, so I'm just going to call it it's random. It is connected, but also it's not when you look at the picture it does not look random. No, it's all connected so the two goes to the eight for negative, so the two goes to the eight.
Speaker 2:So the two is the loving person. If they're not taking care of themselves and pouring into themselves, they can get really angry like the eight. So that's where we said, I think, when we talked about the two hell hath no fury as an unappreciated two.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That like gives and gives and gives, but watch out because after they've given they can just kind of erupt in anger. Okay. And then the eight, interestingly enough, can go to the unhealthy side of the five, which is overthinking. Now again we say that eights need to ready fire aim instead of ready aim fire or no. I always get that mixed up because my natural inclination is to ready fire aim, ready aim fire. So this would be for the eight. If they just kind of get caught up in their head and I know I do that a lot Like recently I was telling my husband there was just a lot going on and he was like, hey, you doing okay. And I was like, yeah, I just need to let you know. Like I've got a lot of things going on right now and I'm just in my head kind of thinking through everything. So how that can present on the outside is maybe that I'm grouchy or angry, but I'm just caught in overthinking things. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yep, that makes sense. Yes.
Speaker 2:Now the five can go to the unhealthy side of the seven. Now that seems totally bizarre.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't even. I can't remember all these. That's the hard. That's why we have to develop the app. It's like I can't remember what the unhealthy side of the seven is. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:So the five is the wise person goes to that place of gluttony that the seven can go to. Now it's not gluttony necessarily on adventures or food. It could be gluttony of more and more and more and more and more information, so like there's never enough.
Speaker 1:Oh well, that makes a lot of sense with the five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with the five, let's see. So then the nine, let's skip that one, yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Actually. No, we don't want to skip the seven. I missed the seven. Let's do the seven first. The seven goes to the unhealthy side of the one.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so those seem really opposite too. So the seven as the joyful person, if they're average or unhealthy, can go to that unhealthy side of the one, which is perfectionism, micromanaging, kind of looking at things through kind of that lens of right or wrong, all or none.
Speaker 1:That doesn't seem like a seven at all.
Speaker 2:Well, I can't say sevens, that I know. I have experienced that.
Speaker 1:I know you do so tell me about those sevens.
Speaker 2:Yes, so, yeah, I can be very much that maybe get caught in. Just, yeah, that perfectionism like has to be right. I think you know I've shared that my husband's a seven and I wonder sometimes for him, like with even his writing, where maybe a barrier is that it has to be perfect. And so he can really get caught up in that editing. Ah, so.
Speaker 1:He does a podcast.
Speaker 2:Yes, he does a podcast.
Speaker 1:Okay, does he edit a bit on the podcast?
Speaker 2:He does yes, he edits a lot on that.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of myself. Yes, you know how much I edit this podcast Pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're just totally guys. What you see is what you get here. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Once in a while, I mean I would the first podcast. I'd say I chopped a bit more just because I couldn't get any words out of my mouth, and I still can't, but now I'm just living with it.
Speaker 2:Yes, You've accepted.
Speaker 1:Yes, here it is Yep.
Speaker 2:Okay, so then moving to the nine. So this is for you, but you've already named this Damon, so you're you'll be at peace with this.
Speaker 1:So I have a sound effect. I have been saving that for months and months Classic yeah.
Speaker 2:So the nine moves to the six.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So, like you said, for you and for other nines, if they're in that unhealthy space or average, they'll move to the fear of the six. So maybe thinking worst case scenario, that kind of thing, okay, and then the six can move to that dark side of the three, so they, like the three, can get more focused on production performance I'm only as good as what I do Okay. And then, last but not least, the three can move into the nine. Now that's one of those two that feels like the three really needs to move into the nine space to be restful. But the three can get into that space of just sloth, they can get into that space of I'm trying to think of a good example because they just seem so opposite, so they just kind of shut down.
Speaker 1:They're or quit going forward. Mm-hmm yeah probably four, three, even a little bit of that. It will feel kind of Not normal right, right yeah they do need some of it for sure. But yeah, you're saying, yeah, I actually in the three that I know I'm not sure I've ever seen that three go to a nine.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I have seen it once where a three had really gone through a very difficult situation and they were just kind of like I'm I'm done with this, like, yeah, whatever you guys want to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, when you kind of say it that way, I can see that. I can see that, mm-hmm Okay well, I don't like that at all.
Speaker 2:Let's erase those arrows, yeah so this, we started with the negative first, so now we're gonna go to the positive, the direction of growth for integration, yeah, and so starting in with the one, so you're gonna see how this plays out, because now it's kind of like the reverse of what we just said. So the one, their space of growth, is to go to the seven.
Speaker 2:All right and so when a one is in a healthy space, they can really lean into the joy of the seven. So again, we're looking at the healthy aspects. When you're in the healthy side of the one, you can move into the healthy side of the seven and have a lot of joy, a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that actually in some ones. Yeah, then the seven moves to the five, and so this is where that joyful, healthy seven really leans into being contemplative, thinking things through. That a seven would mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So you know, being able, instead of being that like jovial person all the time, to also have space of just quiet reflection. Okay yeah, yep. The five then moves to the space of the eight in a healthy way.
Speaker 1:Okay. Oh yeah, so a little more driven mm-hmm and not hoarding or information, but actually Executing stepping into action, exactly.
Speaker 2:look how smart you are, oh my gosh, wait a second.
Speaker 1:I don't know sound effect.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, that's enough. He's here all day, friends. The eight, then, in a healthy place, moves to the two, and so I think this is that Place of really where I was conditioned to be a two, which, in the long run, was probably a really good thing for me thinking of others, empathy, loving others. Okay, the two moves into the healthy space of the four. So, instead of just giving, giving, giving to everybody else, taking time, really reflecting on how they're really feeling, taking time for themselves, having that self-care.
Speaker 2:Okay, that makes sense as well, mm-hmm the four moves into the space of the one I.
Speaker 1:Don't get that one. Okay, that's, that's harder.
Speaker 2:So the four as that original person, if they are in a healthy space they will really take on the structure, having routines and rhythms like a one would have okay, instead of if a dark place for a four Means that they're just kind of Just going and not really like if they don't have routine, they can just be in that dark space mm-hmm. That helps them when they're in healthy, to have that that routine. Okay, so done the nine going to a place of growth is the three.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2:Yes, so getting things done, being productive, this is probably to what makes you and your wife such a great team. Maybe, yeah, and it's interesting to see some of the dynamics of people who are actually married to people who bring that out in them. Yeah, so, for sure, for sure, yeah. So the nine moves to three, that effectiveness, having that inertia, you know, combating the inertia.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we would never say with relationships that two numbers have to go together.
Speaker 2:No, numbers can't go together.
Speaker 1:I just want to throw in that qualifier right. I've heard that in the air somewhere right there.
Speaker 2:Who should I? Who should I date?
Speaker 1:don't overthink that, no, okay.
Speaker 2:No. And then the three in a healthy place moves to the six, and they're healthy place. So the three being more thoughtful, being prepared, kind of thinking things through, more than just trying to reduce their anxiety by performance, mm-hmm, there's some loyalty, that's loyalty. Again, more this idea of what will help the group versus what will just help me.
Speaker 1:All right, yeah yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:And then the six goes to the nine.
Speaker 1:Six, yeah, congratulations six. Yeah, you have arrived. Just kidding, I'm just kidding, yeah, I gotcha.
Speaker 2:But that space of you know for sixes being able to kind of even take a break from the worry, to not feel like they have to be prepared for every battle, but just be able to find where they can have true peace. A little more slothful, yeah, a little more relaxed.
Speaker 2:So, again, this is where we want to recognize that all of us, on any given day, can be in our healthy space average, unhealthy and so it's what we need to do to move out, what's the path from our average and unhealthy back into health, and so we can use these arrows as bridges to get back into help, especially the growth arrow. So, like, if I'm having a day or if I'm having a conflict with someone, I really need to take that bridge of the two and go okay, what would it really mean to love this person instead of just seeing this person now as my enemy, which is important, and so that helps us in our growth.
Speaker 1:For me. If I say I know that, let's say I'm having trouble getting inertia. I can think of the three and the person that is a worker, and I think about the fact that once I get started I'm always good. So I just have to kind of push back against that inertia and take on those characteristics of a three.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So that's for all of us. We don't just arrive at the healthy compartment and then just live there forever. We'd love to, but we just need to recognize honestly, like, okay, where am I at today? In my number. Am I feeling more that average or unhealthy? And if I am, hey, this just gives us some steps to move into more of that healthy space.
Speaker 1:And you said there are two. Is this the first theory? This is the first theory.
Speaker 2:So the other one is a little more easier to define, and so that would be that, actually both arrows. We need to be aware of the positives and the challenges for each of the arrows.
Speaker 1:So it would be more of a blending.
Speaker 2:Well, really it would be so we'll take for example the one has the arrows to the seven and the four, and so what this theory would say is to be aware of the strengths for the seven and the four, but also the areas of challenge for the seven and the four, just to be aware that you can take on both attributes.
Speaker 1:I've got a problem. I think that I'm too lazy for that theory. It feels okay.
Speaker 2:Well and this is where we wanted to stay in our number. So for you, it would just be thinking of what are the negatives and the strengths of the six and the negatives and the strengths of the three.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Seems like a lot, though. Yes, Still well. That's why we're gonna have an app called something really creative. Right If we had a four to tell us what that would be.
Speaker 2:Yes, maybe it would be the Enneagram U app. We can keep that simple we could.
Speaker 1:And look at you driving forward. I know You're just like well, I've already got a plan.
Speaker 2:When can we get this done? Can you get me some, some tests of this by next week?
Speaker 1:Right after my nap.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's right. Well, and ultimately, you know, as we think about and you've mentioned this before the goal is for each of us to be able to really move into the other numbers. You know. So, if we look at the Enneagram as that circle and you're you know, nines are able to already do this. But the healthier that we get, the more we're able to see that we can have access to all the other numbers. So you know, even for me as an eight, even though I don't have an arrow to the four, that the healthier I am, the more I might find myself enjoying things that are creative.
Speaker 1:So is it more natural? I guess it is because there are arrows. It's more natural, then, for you to move to the two.
Speaker 2:And what's the other one? And then it would be the five and the five.
Speaker 1:But the other ones might be more of a stretch.
Speaker 2:Right, Because you know. So you're wind all right, although your wings are right there right, but the arrows are the ones that you want to focus on. You don't necessarily need to know the arrows for your wings, yeah, but for me, I mean, I really like this theory where it's actually the, the both you do, I do Myself okay, I definitely see how I can move to Again loving and caring for people in the two, but I also see that I can. I can be prone to some co-dependency and not even know.
Speaker 2:So, that would be the unhealthy side of the two now the five, I can see for me like again in the negative side being in my head. But I can also see the positive side of it, slowing me down and helping me think before I act.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a lot, it is a lot. Yes, people should write a book on this or something. Oh, they have I know, isn't it crazy to think that the first book was not written about the any agreement till the 1980s. It is pretty crazy considering how much information there is and that it's been around since the 1920s.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, but yet that oral tradition? And now it seems like I wonder. So maybe there were probably a few books in the 1980s, but well since probably 2000, well, I'd say since 2008 on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we talked about that a little bit like I can't remember the dates and when it's really started to take off, but you're right. You're right, it was like the mid-2000s and and there's probably a lot of books. We should Google it. If I only had a phone, well.
Speaker 2:But I wonder how many apps that are out there that would be able to be so helpful, as though what we'll come up with, look right now.
Speaker 1:I bet there is come on, as my dad used to say, who was a six. If it was a good idea, someone else already came.
Speaker 2:I know how true is that. Yeah, it's not very inspiring it may be one of our listeners that has already put this to the test.
Speaker 1:I don't think you should think that way. I think that's the negative part of the six.
Speaker 2:But yeah, an app that you could just.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, let's see, here we go. I bet it's just testing.
Speaker 2:Most of them are testing any app there's?
Speaker 1:yes.
Speaker 2:That is a good one, that for testing. Oh, it's testing, have you? Have you done? You probably have done that one with all the tests that you've probably Wait my name's on this.
Speaker 1:No let's see. Yeah personality types, blueprint and any.
Speaker 2:A grand See, we need a how to relate to others. Any a grand map.
Speaker 1:It might be here. You know how the app store can be.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:There are a lot of apps that okay, the word any no, no, they're out, they're out. That's there's only like three or four. Okay, I mean, maybe there's something that just aren't showing up here on the job. Okay, it could happen if you happen if you're listening and you have an idea of what to put in our new app, you can just go to view faith calm and fill out some form on that website and we'll eventually see it.
Speaker 2:Yes, if you have the ability and the time yeah and wouldn't mind giving us all the credit and the money. Right exactly, we'll get a deal for you. That's right, all right. Yes, you can code that out, yeah. Well like you said, to with the arrows. It would be great for our, our listeners to be able to see the picture, so maybe if we could put that on the show notes or a link to it. Yeah, just to be able to see the numbers as they're connected together.
Speaker 1:That'd be great Mm-hmm. What else we got about these things? They seem like. It seems like this by itself could take some time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, this is the probably deeper end of the Enneagram pool. Mm-hmm you know, because it does take some time and for you, as you're listening, just really connecting and even figuring out your core Number, you know is important and that sometimes takes some time, as I know for me.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:It was five years now. Not that everybody has that long of a journey, I was, so Clouded, but also the tools have changed.
Speaker 1:Yes, maybe gotten a little better, mm-hmm, since you started to, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:And then you know the next step, you know, as we get into the pool of Learning about it would be just your wing. You know which is the stronger wing, or, like you're finding, maybe it's that I'm really experiencing both.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or there is this high probability that I am lying to myself and you know that is gonna. If you're lying to yourself like I am, that is going to blow up your Enneagram number, I promise well, I mean, we laugh about that, but there is a struggle of who we really are versus who we want to be. You said something a couple of weeks ago. What was it? Is something about looking at yourself, or what you, one of your friends, used to tell you what's it like to be on the other?
Speaker 2:side of me. Yes, oh, yeah, I know. So if you have someone that's close to you, you could ask them like how do you experience Me? Because you know, when I reached out to my husband and said that my friend thought I was an eight, like His affirmation. I mean, it was a hmm dot dot dot, not like a yep, you are, but it was like hmm, right, I was like oh my goodness, I've never had anyone say anything but a nine for me, darn it no conflict here, I know maybe I'm lying to myself and everyone else.
Speaker 2:That could be it now, but see, it's what you want to be versus who you are.
Speaker 1:Okay all right yeah man, this was a lot, kelly. I know so we have one more thing to say, so you can't shut off the podcast just yet. Hey, everybody, thanks for joining us on Enneagram. You this week check us out at the ufaithcom and we will see you next time. Bye Kelly.
Speaker 2:Bye Damon.