EnneagramU

Enneagram Types and Mis-types the Sequel

• Faith and Community • Season 1 • Episode 23

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Join Damon and Kelly in this episode of Enneagram U where we unravel the tangled webs of Enneagram overlaps and mistypes. 

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Enneagram U with Damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. With your skeptic or an enthusiast, together, we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon and I'm home with my friend Kelly. Hi, kelly, hey Damon, how are you doing? We're in a good mood for emotion today. Oh, overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

We have the same one.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's crazy. It's crazy week here at Veterans. United for this team anyway All right.

Speaker 2:

But hey, we're going to make it through and you know we appreciate this rhythm on Monday to come and at least have a little positive in our start of our week, Except it's now Wednesday. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1:

They know anyway. Just in case you didn't know, it's like the day you're listening to a podcast is rarely the day the podcast is aired.

Speaker 2:

It is a good rhythm, though At least we get a little high point. But yes, there's a lot happening, it is. Yeah, I mean this is great.

Speaker 1:

It's just like I was just confessing before we started that I have got to focus when you're telling me these things, those are we're learning because it's this mistype stuff and that's what we're doing again, the next number of mistypes. That's right. It's very interesting, challenging just to understand.

Speaker 2:

Well, and I think the reason it's important is that you know, for the numbers there are similarities and so we can think that we're actually one number when we're truly a different number. So that's why it's important to look at just some of the confusing overlaps with the numbers.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I love it. Yeah, I'm just a slow learner. This is what you know. When I would okay, I got a sidetrack here for a second. Hang on everyone. This was really good. Okay, Maybe not. So when I was a student, the main thing that my parents would hear when they would go to parent teacher conferences was something like he just doesn't really live up to his potential. Oh, that was it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was it, and today I happened to be walking through an elementary school and there was a some kids that were sitting in the hallway and they were doing their work very nicely, such good students probably third grade, something like that and one of the girls says to one of the little boys she says you can't use Wikipedia, it's not a trusted source. Oh, I'm like, wow, I'm out, I'm out.

Speaker 2:

That's my you know my whole life. That's where I get all of my information is Wikipedia. Well because we were, you know, we grew up in the age where the encyclopedia was on all of our shelves and of course it was probably more accurate than Wikipedia, but it probably was From its own vantage point.

Speaker 1:

So, as a slow learner, I will just say go slow. No, we need to hop right through these.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we'll take it easy. Well, last week we looked at the one, two and three, so today we're going to be looking at the mistypes for number four, five and six.

Speaker 1:

All right, bring on the four, all right.

Speaker 2:

So the four is the original creative person, and so their number one mistype is type nine. You, damon, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Let's just make it easy.

Speaker 2:

Yes, Well we can see some of the similarities with the four and the nine, so both personalities are really chill.

Speaker 1:

Agree.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're creative, agree and also can struggle with some procrastination.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, I was procrastinating, I agree.

Speaker 2:

Were you having a flashback to not living up to your potential?

Speaker 1:

That was it. That was it. Yep, you're right.

Speaker 2:

But, yeah, this is where they can really see themselves in each other, with just not more relaxed, creative, struggling with getting some things done. But we want to remember, the nine's motivation is peace, and so, for them, they are more focused on just being able to have their world being as tranquil and peaceful as possible, and so they'll peace at whatever cost. A lot of times for the nine the fours, though, are different with that. So often they are not so much about having peace, but they're always looking it's almost like they're looking into everybody else's life, thinking everybody else has it together or has a happy life, and they don't. And so is it like longing. Longing, that's a great, that would be a great distinctive word there.

Speaker 1:

Well, I know, because I get confused with the four, often yes, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay, but for the nine's it is going to be more about how do I create an inner peace for me. The fours are like oh, everybody else has it and I don't. So yeah that longing word, good, good word, Damon.

Speaker 1:

It is a good word.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you did live up to your potential.

Speaker 1:

Yay, let's stop this podcast now. While we're ahead, I'm out.

Speaker 2:

Another thing we would say about the fours and nines is a distinction is that nines, a lot of times, would really disconnect from pain versus having their peace disturbed. The fours are very comfortable with dark emotions or deep emotions, so they're not going to be the ones that are going to want to disassociate from their pain. Okay, Yep. And so when they withdraw, both of them do withdraw. They withdraw to different places.

Speaker 2:

So the four a lot of times might withdraw into more isolation and the nine's going to withdraw into some kind of happy place, whether that's an actual one or in their mind.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I can't really speak to that at all, since I'm not a nine.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my goodness, okay, some of that may play true for you. Huh? No, not at all, I actually that's why I get confused.

Speaker 1:

I don't really understand what that means, but maybe it means Netflix. Netflix and Shell is a popular thing for nines All right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, All right. The other type that gets misidentified a lot with the four is type three which doesn't make that much sense really Well, to me. I think the difference here is that it's not so much about which type, but which one is the main type. So this is more of am I a three wing four or a four wing three?

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Can be the challenge for these two numbers, and so to figure out what the main type is, it's really best for a three and four to look at actually how they handle their emotions. That's a key distinction for them.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So threes really care more about productivity and getting things done, and so emotions can get in the way of that. So threes are able to push those emotions to the side for the sake of getting a lot of things done. But for the fours, taking care of the feelings come first, and so they're not going to push feelings away to be productive, and so they're going to be authentic with what they feel. The fours are where the threes often just get annoyed at their feelings.

Speaker 1:

Can I back up? Yes, for sure. What makes these similar, the four and the three?

Speaker 2:

I think because they are wings of each other. So, it's very much. I guess the mistype comes in. Am I actually a four or am I a three wing four?

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's what you said, that. You said that Okay.

Speaker 2:

But that's a good clarification.

Speaker 1:

Slow learner, all right. No, that's good Okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So the main distinction there would be what the threes and fours do with feelings. So threes can maybe spin their feelings. They're going to tell themselves they don't feel what they're feeling. Fours are going to say, no, actually I'm having these feelings and I don't want to be inauthentic. So a four would see a three often as someone who's inauthentic and they're just not going to be inauthentic with their feelings, Right?

Speaker 1:

And that's one of the reasons that that was confusing, that they could be mistyped, that the four could be mistyped as a three.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Because, although we talked about the four as being an artist, and if they have a strong three wing, this is I practically remember it that maybe that is more of a successful task oriented artist, right and okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I have to keep all this straight, yes, well, similarly, then, when we move to the five, their next number, their next number, their number that they misidentify with the most is four, for the same reason. So it's either I'm a five wing four or four wing five, but I'm not sure which. So that's why that mistype happens a lot for the five.

Speaker 1:

Okay, wing confusion.

Speaker 2:

Wing confusion.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, came up with another one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there you go, ha ha. Well, and so let's look at some of the similarities for the four and five. So again, both of them are very individualistic.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And both of them tend to be more introverted. So they get energized by being alone, and for them, they really appreciate having space for the mind, and so they're more prone to withdraw a lot of times. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I get all that.

Speaker 2:

That makes sense, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

That makes sense with those two numbers.

Speaker 2:

But to really get the distinction between the four and the five again, the four is in the heart triad, so it's going to be about the priority of emotions. The five is in the head triad and it is all about the life of the brain. Mm-hmm, yeah, and so that can be a key distinction for fours to figure out fours and fives to figure out what their core number is. You know, am I someone that really is in touch and values those emotions and I'm expressing those emotions and want to be authentic, or is it all just about what I'm thinking about things? Okay, you know, because they say for a five, you could ask them how they feel, but they're going to tell you more what they think than actually what they feel.

Speaker 1:

Not so with the four.

Speaker 2:

Not so with the four. They're going to be in the feelings, so that's a distinction there.

Speaker 1:

But I see how those two could be so similar.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Because of the yeah, like the individual introverted and they withdraw. And there's maybe even quieter people at times, right, okay.

Speaker 2:

So both can go to dark places, the fours and the fives. This can be another helpful distinction. Fours, a lot of times, might turn to places in their life where they've had emotional pain, like heartbreaks or disappointments. Fives, though, tend to go more to what's called abstract pain, so like what's the meaning of life or this inner emptiness void. So for the fours, they're going to have more of a connection with maybe some of those places that lead them to a dark space Emotionally. For fives it's going to be more of the generalized Okay.

Speaker 1:

That helps us decide how they're or figure out how they're, how we're different. Yes, for a five or a four, okay.

Speaker 2:

So the four is going to be heart and the five is going to be brain.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's helpful.

Speaker 2:

The other misidentification for the five. Are you ready? I'm ready. Type nine Okay. Maybe this is why you were so confused, Aiman. There's no end to my confusion, promise Well and really the path of confusion usually with these two numbers happen when nines mistake themselves for fives.

Speaker 1:

I've done that you have. We had an episode where that happened. This did happen. Yes, it was the episode on the five.

Speaker 2:

Now, fives don't always go that same path, so they're not going to confuse themselves for a nine, but nines typically confuse themselves for fives. And that's because, again, for nines, bless every nine's heart of having to figure out their number in the midst of taking on characteristics of all the other numbers. Right, so that can be a challenge. And then also, nines a lot of times might think that they're in the thinking head triad. You know, because you're thinking through things, because you have insights and also spend a lot of times thinking. So you must be a five, when the truth is for a nine. What motivates them to spend time in their head thinking is how can I have resolution, how can I make peace? So again, even in their thinking, they're usually trying to, uh, arrive at a peaceful destination.

Speaker 1:

So true, so true, oh, my goodness. Okay, now a contrast, though, with the fives.

Speaker 2:

uh, as the fives really don't care about pleasant solutions or resolutions, um, they just are more focused on clarity and also solving complex issues. Being strong minded, you know again, being able to know as much as they can know about everything, yeah, mm hmm.

Speaker 1:

But for a nine it would be.

Speaker 2:

what do I need to know to have peace? And for the five it's, I need to know everything I can about everything, gotcha.

Speaker 1:

I've been in roles in my life where I've had to play the five, so to speak, in my job. And, yes, I can do it but, I, can't maintain it for long periods of time.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I definitely can't disconnect from uh, maybe peace or people, or uh I don't know what other words I would use there, but I can't make it abstract.

Speaker 2:

Or it's just about the problem.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you know itself and not necessarily who it affects, and so that that's one of the things that's so like. Yes, I can play the five to a degree. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

Versus if you were a five, that would be life giving to you, right? Yeah, cause they say for nines they really like to think, uh, deductively. So really, moving from the big and general to the small and applicable, yes, agree, okay, versus the five. Okay, versus the fives think more inductively. So from small pieces, uh, a fact to like this big theory.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yep, I totally see that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so that can be a really helpful distinction for the nines and the fives. All right, yeah, okay, so that's the four.

Speaker 1:

I'm not. I'm not a five.

Speaker 2:

That's the five.

Speaker 1:

I'm a little four. I'm a little five.

Speaker 2:

Well, three, you're a little bit of everything, oh Lord, okay, where are we? Going Okay.

Speaker 1:

Wait a minute, I got my numbers mixed up, slow learner. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2:

Four, five, six, all right.

Speaker 2:

Oh well, and so last time, when we talked about the two, you'll remember that we said one of its um two misidentifications is the six, and that would be the same for the six. Uh, one of its top misidentification, uh, in eagram numbers, is the two. And again, as we said last time, uh, it's because both twos and sixes are very relational. They're very warm and engaging with other people, put a lot of effort into being liked and accepted by those around them. Both of them can be, uh, emotional and expressive, um, but the underlying motivation of why they're being relational is key. So for the six, we want to remember that the sixes really are concerned about reducing their own fear, and so if having a relationship with you helps them to feel more secure, they'll really put a lot of loyalty and effort into that relationship. But for a two, they're they're just close and friendly, intimate with others because they appreciate those relationships. On a darker side, it could be the need to be needed, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right. So even though that sounds good, it could go bad.

Speaker 2:

It could, like all of us, have the dark side. Yeah, yeah, for sure they're both relational and emotional. Okay, and they just do that for different reasons. Yeah, so we're going to really remember the nuances of the motivations for each of the numbers. Yeah, so that six is the loyal person. Uh, again, a lot of times just want to reduce fear and anxiety by, um, you know, connecting to a strong person and a strong institution so that a lot of times can motivate them. The attachments to people.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Then, last but not least, the six. Another mistype is type nine, all right. This is the week where it's last week it was all eight this week it's all nine.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

What will next week be?

Speaker 1:

I don't know, I won't be here. All right, let's hit it yes.

Speaker 2:

So, uh, again, we know that the three, six and nine make up that uh harmony triad, that uh triad, that um is the original triangle. So the six and the nine already have some connection. Uh, but this one can be really common. Um, usually both types can be a little bit more on the introverted side. So the six and the nine, um, they're usually also very kind of unassuming people, more humble, um again, both really wants uh, security and status quo. I mean, you think about the six wanting security.

Speaker 2:

well, security and peace seem to go hand in hand a lot of times and vice versa, um, but it's really key in how they go about achieving, uh, just being a, just being a able to have, um, have the status quo. So the nines try to maintain harmony by not letting anything upset them. So a lot of times they can be kind of just avoid it of what's going on.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, Kale, I'm pretty upset right now. The abuse of my number.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but see, you're in a healthy place, you're recognizing those feelings, you're not disassociating. So that's good, all right. But they, they again, just try not to let anything upset them. So they're naturally trusting. Yeah, they feel better the less they have to think about conflict or engaging in conflict. But sixes try to maintain their inner peace by looking out for any areas of danger and guarding themselves against it. So right, nines may take that, I'm not going to look kind of approach. Sixes are like I need to look. I need to like, think through all the possibilities so that I can be at peace.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Sixes have a harder time trusting people and they can get upset a little bit more easily than a, than a nine Cause again, a nine is going to more avoid or just kind of let those go off their back. Sixes are going to be a little bit more aware. So problems make sixes nervous, which, for nines again, if they're not paying attention it's not going to bother them as much and these mistypes.

Speaker 1:

have you seen this come up just in your work?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

And then when somebody comes in there they say, oh, I'm a two, and you're like, no, you're probably a six.

Speaker 2:

What is?

Speaker 1:

the thing. And I know, I know we just learned, but what are the things? What do you tell somebody Like do you have to have a long conversation, or do you say, just take another test, or do you you know what? What is it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think basically a conversation is more helpful than a test because that way you can talk through like some of those underlying motivations that they're noticing and just asking someone to be like a student of themselves as corny as that may sound Like okay. So really like if there was someone that was struggling thinking they were a two or a six, I think what I would first say is tell me a little bit about what makes you feel secure, you know. Or tell me a little bit you know. Give me an example of like a time that you help someone and tell me, like you know, why did you decide to do what you did? And basically that will really start to bring up like again that distinction of oh, I really, really love to see a need and meet the need. That would be more of a two for a six. It would be well, I really felt like that would keep me safe in my position or something like that. So it's more of a safety kind of thing.

Speaker 1:

Will it usually come out in the language they're using?

Speaker 2:

A lot of times it will.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they're actually using the keywords that go along with the number and you're like bingo there it is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's right, that's what I would need.

Speaker 1:

We could just wear maybe badges or signs on our head.

Speaker 2:

A little flip chart hat.

Speaker 1:

Tattoos, we do have. We do have t-shirts when we do have t-shirts when we find out what number we are.

Speaker 2:

that you can wear.

Speaker 1:

You know what color the nine t-shirt is Beige.

Speaker 2:

It is just that, all inclusive very earthy peaceful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I can't remember what color it is.

Speaker 2:

I think that's right. The eight is red, very earthy Right, of course it is I think a few years ago, when we made the color distinctions, that kind of was its nod to the animal, for the eight being a bull. So, like eight.

Speaker 1:

C red. Wait with our t-shirts. Did you do the colors, or are there colors that go with the numbers?

Speaker 2:

Well, me and a couple other people that were doing some presentations just worked on the colors, but I'm sure there's an e-gram for everything out there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that would be something I bet there is. We'll probably get a listener that knows. Hey, yeah, if you do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, send it our way, Give us the scoop.

Speaker 1:

Wow, Kelly, for all of us that are a little bit slow in our learning. I really appreciate your patience, oh, my goodness, and I'm just trying to keep up with you, and I've been doing that for about. Oh, I don't know how many episodes we've done, but it's around 20 plus.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's been fun to be able to get a little bit deeper into this tool and, like we've said before, if you're someone that's just looking at like an intro and finding out your core number, don't let these deeper end of the pool episodes get overwhelming.

Speaker 1:

It's only that deep because I can't swim, everyone else is okay. Everybody else is like, of course that makes sense, but yeah, our listeners are very intelligent. So, yes, well, we really appreciate you joining us today and I know that's kind of a quick one today with those three numbers, but hopefully you're learning as I'm learning and we will see you next time. Have a great week. Bye, kelly. Thank you for joining us today.