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EnneagramU
Enneagram Mistypes: Part 3
Ever puzzled over your Enneagram number, or just have an itch to delve into the captivating realm of personality studies? Here's your golden ticket! Kelly and I open the Pandora's box of Enneagram mistypes, shining the spotlight particularly on the nuanced distinctions between numbers seven, eight, and nine. A seven, often misunderstood as a three, is a free spirit, radiating joy and fun, as spontaneous and carefree as the monkey that symbolizes it. In contrast, the more calculated three, represented by a peacock, craves validation and tends to think before they speak.
As we navigate further down this rabbit hole, we scrutinize the intriguing dynamics of Enneagram numbers two, four, and five, each with its unique motivations and behavior patterns. From the dependency-driven twos, assertive eights, to the introspective fours and serene nines, we demystify their complex personalities. We also touch upon the fascinating similarities between pairs like two and eight, and five and nine, that often lead to mistyping. This episode is a veritable treasure trove, unearthing the mysteries of human personality. So buckle up and join us on this thrilling journey of discovery!
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Welcome to Enneagram U, damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. With your skeptic or an enthusiast, together, we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon. I'm here with my friend Kelly. Hi, kelly. Hey Damon, I'm feeling energized today, believe it or not. Okay, yeah, it took me a while to think of what I. You know that emotion. I couldn't quite get it out and I'm like I'm pretty energized. I had a good week. It was really busy last week, but I got to do some things that I like to do that were a little different than my normal job, and it all went well.
Speaker 1:Sounds like it was life-giving yeah nothing exploded and I did a little audio visual work for some of the different departments at VU and got to meet some people and that was pretty cool because I'm a lot of the times behind the scenes. Yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 2:I love getting to meet other teams, you know and just experience other employees. We've got such great employees that work at VU. Most of them are yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, yeah, we do. They're all good employees and they always ask I don't know if this happens to you, like now, who are you?
Speaker 2:and what are you?
Speaker 1:doing here? I'm just here to serve, you know, just here to help out.
Speaker 2:That's right yeah.
Speaker 1:It's all good.
Speaker 2:Well, it always feels good to get just out of those busy weeks, but yet to be able to look back and think well, that was a good week, even though it was really busy, because we were both last week feeling overwhelmed. Yes, I think we said lots of plates spinning.
Speaker 1:That's right. How are you feeling today?
Speaker 2:I am feeling relieved.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, last week was a busy week Also. I just wasn't feeling the greatest. I was on a medication that made me feel a little out of body.
Speaker 1:I was wondering what was wrong with you, but you know now it all makes sense.
Speaker 2:It all does make sense. But yeah, just you know, it's one of those things that you appreciate feeling good when you haven't felt good or when something is off.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you weren't sick, sick, no, no, I didn't notice a lack of energy on your part.
Speaker 2:No, well, actually yes, I was on this oral steroid that actually probably gave me more energy. That came in the form of waking up through the night and just feeling, I don't know, disconnected from my body.
Speaker 1:Podcast. Last week was like 10 minutes faster than the week before. Turbo fast yeah.
Speaker 2:Wow, all that information we're done. Yes, yeah, so now, relieved, it's just yeah, it just feels good to feel good.
Speaker 1:All right, energized, relieved, ready to talk about mistypes. Yes, we're wrapping it up today.
Speaker 2:Part three. Okay, yes, well, and you know, again we say that it's important just to recognize that some of the numbers have some of those nuances that are very similar, but that you know each. We want to look at the motivations and what is, you know, some of those distinctions between the numbers. So we're going to wrap up today with the seven, eight and nine.
Speaker 1:We want to just clear up the confusion. Yes, if you're confused about your number.
Speaker 2:Not that any of us are, but.
Speaker 1:Only the best of us. Yes.
Speaker 2:Those stories so, but the sevens? So, as you remember, the seven is the joyful person, so they are all about fun and excitement. Uh, be they. They're usually the life of the party, uh, which actually uh is where they get uh mis-typed.
Speaker 1:For the three, Three can be the life of the party as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, three can be the life of the party as well. I know why yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, they're the performer, performers, that's right, yes. Yeah, yeah, for sure, and there are two kinds of threes, mm, hmm, kind of that work behind the scenes. Their animal is the beaver. Yeah, and the kind that like to be on the stage and their animal is the peacock. Yes, you would think I was on an oral steroid today.
Speaker 2:Well, you're energized. Yeah, that's right, you're just so excited, boom, boom, yes, well, and speaking of the animal, so we'll put in the animal for the seven as the monkey. So if you can imagine like the peacock and the monkey perform, yes, that would be insane. But that's probably a good distinction, because the peacock is going to be more of like. Look at me. So that's the underlying motivation for the three is just to really try to reduce their anxiety by others, seeing them, approving of them, uh really, uh, validating them, Mm hmm.
Speaker 1:So the seven would be more like just let's just have fun, let's have fun, let's have joy.
Speaker 2:I don't care what you think about me, but I just want to have fun.
Speaker 1:To be a seven, you have to have some of that.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That you don't care what people think of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they say that sevens uh and I we've mentioned this before, but they take verbal uh risk a lot of times, so they'll just say what's ever on their mind. They don't always think about it before they say it.
Speaker 1:I know so many sevens and that is so true, yeah.
Speaker 2:But, a three is going to think about it.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:Uh, they're going to think about what they're going to say yeah, because they want to look good.
Speaker 1:That's right. All right, I'll blend.
Speaker 2:Yes, so also, uh you know, with the threes, they're usually more yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, composed and controlled. And Sevens, again, just are about making things fun and exciting. So again, both life of the party, but also with much different motivations, and that's really what we're looking for, you know, as we look at the mis-types.
Speaker 1:So if you're the life of the party and you're a composed individual but still can like create this, I don't know an experience of fun. And it's a little more planned. You're probably more of a three performer.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Or a seven entertainer? Yes, a three.
Speaker 2:Right, well, and a three, if we think about the three and the seven, as they're maybe leaving a party. So a three is going to leave and they're gonna be thinking of all the different steps they're gonna take in networking with different people that they interacted with. Threes are like that. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's a good thing. I wish I could do that. Three's walk in the room and then they learn everybody's name.
Speaker 2:That's right, and they also are great at connecting people. You know I'm very resourceful. A seven's probably gonna leave a party and feel like, wow, I really didn't connect with anyone, but the whole room was laughing. Yes, everybody feels connected with a seven, but the seven doesn't necessarily feel like they've connected. So Good all right, yeah, so that is one of the mistypes. The other top mistype for the seven is the two.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't get, I don't think I get that one as much. All right, cause they're not really. They're joyful. They're joyful, but are they performers?
Speaker 2:No, no, this would probably have more to do with just how sevens and twos both really love people, love being around people. Okay, both are extroverts in a lot of ways.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Both also can be very generous with others. So I think about, like my husband, one of his main love languages is being a gift giver. Oh, and a two would also be very generous in gifts that they give.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So what kind of separates them?
Speaker 2:I guess, yeah, so again, looking at the sevens, they let's use their generosity. They give because they just have so much joy in giving and they love to see that person get just the right gift. It brings them so much joy For the two. A lot of times their gifts have some of those underlying strings attached. So, again, they are great at giving gifts cause they know people, they know what you know, what you've said, that you wanted. They'll remember it or write it down, right. But a lot of times their motivation isn't just, oh, this will bring so much joy, it's because, hey, I wanna be that person in your life, helpful. Yeah, mm-hmm, okay.
Speaker 1:All right. So both love giving gifts. A little bit different reasons for that.
Speaker 2:And the other thing I would say about the distinction between the two and the seven. Two's really want others to be dependent on them. Sevens want freedom, so they do not want to be slowed down by people needing them. That's good, mm-hmm Right.
Speaker 1:That's why they don't know anyone at the party when they left.
Speaker 2:They're like people. They like people in mass, yes, the mass like don't.
Speaker 1:I kind of relate to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Don't steal my freedom by needing a lot from me.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, the sevens I know are like that for sure. Most of them, all of them. I know like two. Yeah, I know three.
Speaker 2:Very loving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not sure. I know some of your family are sevens and I think one out of the two I would say that's true, that I can sense your husband, yes, and I don't know about your son, but and then our other coworker who I know is a seven, definitely, yeah. Yeah, that freedom is important, yes for sure, like he does not have a nine to five.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, it's, and neither does your husband, really.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, that's it. Yeah, they don't like to be boxed in Mm-hmm, just to be free. They say sevens love just an open field.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Like just a day to be able to do whatever they want to do. Right, or a life not just a day, but a life to do whatever they want to do. Yeah, and they're going to have their day filled with people helping people.
Speaker 1:Okay, and they want that connection.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. All right, so that's the seven mistypes. So the top ones for the sevens are threes and twos, mm-hmm. So moving on to the eight.
Speaker 1:All right, it's your number.
Speaker 2:This is my number, so eight is the powerful person, mm-hmm Another word we would use to describe the eight. Very decisive, a lot of times in leadership positions, very responsible, and so their number one mistype is the one.
Speaker 1:Okay, I can see that.
Speaker 2:Yes. Mm-hmm, they're all in the gut triad first of all, definitely in the gut triad. Both are very strong willed Mm-hmm and can really have action-oriented ways of living. So you know they say for those of us in the gut triad we're like set to action Mm-hmm. And so both the eights and the ones very much are action-oriented setting goals, meeting those goals.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:So I think the distinction, though, between the two Again, ones and eights, both in that gut triad, are going to value justice, but it's just how it presents, and so for the ones, we need to do things my way, because it's the right way the right thing yeah, yeah. And so that motivation of like, what is the right thing, what is the best thing For the eight, it's not so much. We need to do this because it's the right thing. We need to do it because it's my way and my way is the right way.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so you know again, they're very protective of their people, their projects, their you know ideals, their vision. You know the eights very much are protective of that. Ones, again, they can. Ones can join on other people's visions a lot easier than the eights can. Right Eights have to kind of be the vision driver. Yes, or to really be sold on like okay, that cause.
Speaker 1:Yes, the cause. Yeah, I do know eights that aren't necessarily the point person of the idea or the vision or the dream, but they latch onto it and make it their idea and vision and dream.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That they steal it, but they own it Right. And yeah, yeah, they're cause.
Speaker 2:They see their position on the team and then they can move that forward too, Right yeah. So again, it's the space for the eight and the one to both really be willing to look at what other options you know, what are other ways. It doesn't just have to be one person's way or the highway?
Speaker 1:Are we going to the next number Cause when we do?
Speaker 2:I wanna guess it. Yeah, okay, Go ahead.
Speaker 1:The other mis-type is it's gotta be the three, is it not?
Speaker 2:Well, the three is up there, but then the second top mis-type for the eight is the two.
Speaker 1:What is it with a two today?
Speaker 2:I know the two. Last week it was the nine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay. Two, we do have a pattern, is the two? Okay, let me think about this. Hmm, can't waste time. Strong willed, strong willed, strong willed. I don't know. Twos don't feel strong willed, do they? They're the helpers. I wouldn't go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yes, this is where I think for the twos they can be dominating with trying to help.
Speaker 1:Well, I have experienced that. Yes, we have that cake situation. Yes, the cake situation.
Speaker 2:And they can both have an intensity. So you know that intensity of just urgency to help you know, for the eight, it's just this inner urgency that's always there. I found myself this morning thinking not everything has to be done before eight o'clock, like this is just a thought I have to say to myself quite often.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like everything has to be immediate.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I've got to spread it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But for the twos like that urgency to just step in and help, that intensity, and again for the eights too. They say underneath sometimes that hard shell of an eight you know, especially if it's more of the eighth that likes to spar or play devil's advocate, that you know, if you can kind of get past that, you know rough exterior, that you know inside the heart of every eight is like this really, really loving, caring person.
Speaker 1:I would agree with that.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. So that can be where, I think, eights get confused themselves of being a two, cause they, you know, they may not see their sparring as sparring, and so they may think, well, no, I'm the helper.
Speaker 1:Right, you know.
Speaker 2:So that great question I know I've mentioned it one another time is what does it like to be on the other side of me?
Speaker 1:I hate that question. Yes, it's a good meaning. It's a good question, yes.
Speaker 2:And so you know, I think for me just hearing from people in my life, like you, know, thinking I was a two but then hearing from other people of like no, we definitely experienced the intensity of the eight, not so much in let's fight, but just the intensity?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I should have guessed two, because that was your situation and that I should have guessed two. So, anybody that listens to us probably guessed two.
Speaker 2:Well, threes and eights, though, have a lot of energy similarities.
Speaker 1:Just feels like it to me, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:They are the two that have more energy than the other numbers, for sure. But again, the motivation. So the eights motivation is to really be assertive, to use their strength, to lean into their decisiveness, but for the twos, their underlying motivation is dependency, you know, and our people dependent, and so that's just an important thing to keep in mind.
Speaker 1:So the two is helping, the one is doing the right thing and the eight is more of the like, my way, or yeah, yeah, kind of individual.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that helps you. But they all are. They all have intensity and they're all strong willed.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, it just plays out with different motives.
Speaker 1:Interesting about the two and the eight. I have guessed some people as eights that ended up being twos, and you were a two that ended up being an eight, mm-hmm. So that's happened a couple of times in my very short tenure with the so-called any a girl here.
Speaker 2:Okay well, and it's interesting to see you know, and again, those nuances of having to really look at what your motivations are, which aren't always easy, especially when we've been conditioned you know, in growing up to maybe, like I've mentioned before, like with girls, you know, to be helpers versus leaders and those kind of things.
Speaker 1:No Good so right.
Speaker 2:Well, the last, but definitely not least, the nines. Okay, so the top Miss type for the nine. Do you want to guess?
Speaker 1:Hmm, all of the numbers Top miss type for the nines. I don't know, I can't guess cuz I because I it could be any of them.
Speaker 2:Yes, it really could, because taking on all the other aspects, but we kind of gave this away last time, so the top one would be the four.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, all right, let's go over that, yes.
Speaker 2:So the nines and the fours. For both of them this can be a miss type, and that's because for the nines and the fours, they are both very chill.
Speaker 1:They are chill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, more relaxed kind of go with the flow.
Speaker 1:They as if it's not me, yes, I'm not sure everybody else today. I am not a very excited excitable today, so yeah. I'm not chill Well.
Speaker 2:I don't know what's happening. Higher energy. I do yeah, but you know, for the most part, yeah, nines and fours very much. Just take that more calm, that compath, maybe a lower amount of energy. But like we said when we were talking about the fours and the nines, nines, remember, their motivation is for peace and and where they really want that inner peace and then peace with others. The fours don't care so much about peace, they just want to feel satisfied or they just want to know who they truly are.
Speaker 1:I thought you were gonna say they just want to feel sad. Yeah, well, and.
Speaker 2:Hey, if they are feeling sad, they do just want to feel sad. I want to be authentic with what they're feeling, and so there was a word you use last time that I thought was really helpful when we think about the fours is that fours have a longing.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And so even that illustration of kind of looking out into the world and thinking everybody else has what they want or what they're longing for, and so that just can make them feel melancholy, okay, yeah, and so then the other top number for the nine mistype when I guess no, I don't, I'm out. I'm oh for three you're gonna totally be like, of course, the five. No.
Speaker 1:Well, I think may. Was it because four plus five is nine? Okay, wait, let me check the other numbers. Is that how this is working? Is our pattern?
Speaker 2:No, we finally found the.
Speaker 1:Well, five is chill as well.
Speaker 2:Yes. And I'm just thinking about you as the nine bringing in the, the glasses that day, I mean you could forget that podcast. Well, we're trying to, or even the time you brought in the guitar is the four. Yeah, yeah you found a pretty direct path to both of those numbers, but so often, though, when we think about the nine getting mistyped for the five, nine ask themselves if they're five, but fives really don't ever think that they're nine.
Speaker 2:So, but you know, for a nine and five, they both are observers or mediators. So both nines and fives are in a room and they are just kind of absorbing what people are saying A lot of times, just bringing in synergy of ideas together, being able to really maybe formulate steps and moving forward.
Speaker 1:And the four is two right, they're an observer. Not so much no no, okay, talk to me about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like they. What would they be? They're action oriented. They speak up. No.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of times for the four, again, they're in this spot of trying to again maybe find their true self, and so sometimes they can. I feel that it's more of like they're kind of caught in their head. It's not their head so much, it's like they're caught in their heart of like, okay, you know, is this really? Is this situation that I'm in really facilitating me being my true self?
Speaker 1:Or what am I missing? Yeah, no, it's not like looking out.
Speaker 2:No, it's not that, but it is that word you used last time, longing for what they don't have, yeah, and so I think a lot of times like if they're in a group first of all, just being in a group, like on a team, can be really just life taking for them. It's just like oh, is this my life.
Speaker 1:You know this is true. Now I know four, and that four will remain nameless. Jamal, and he hates meetings. Yes, hates them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and that's where the four and the seven are alike. Four's and seven's hate meetings, but they hate them for different reasons, right, but yeah, for the five, though, and the nine's, like in a meeting, they're just gonna take in what people say, and then it's gonna be important for us to circle back with them and get their input on that. Now, nine's don't wanna share because they just don't wanna be called upon, don't?
Speaker 1:wanna rock the boat Right, keep the peace. I'm not gonna tell you what I think because it's probably the opposite of someone in here and that'll make everything harder, and why we don't have time for that.
Speaker 2:Right, and a five's not gonna wanna share, because what if they don't know everything about it? Okay, and they don't wanna appear foolish? Okay, so that's where they can very much be at different places. So the fives too. They don't care so much about peace or resolutions, they just wanna know how things work together. They wanna have clarity. Versus. The nine's really want peace at all cost. Okay, yep, yeah, and so those would be the top two numbers for the nine's. Now I will say, because nine's are reflective of all the other numbers, I thought, just as we finish up, what would be the bottom two numbers for the nine, so like, what would be the two numbers that you'd probably not ever see as a mistype?
Speaker 1:Okay, we may have to cut some time. I might have to actually edit our podcast, so I think this may take you a little bit, they have time to reflect. Okay, I guess I would say the two and six.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, good guess You're close, uh-huh. The three and the seven.
Speaker 1:The three really.
Speaker 2:Wait, that's part of the triangle. Well, but that's where, you know, so often the nine has to really push themselves to get to the three, because threes can be exhausting to the nine, all right. And then the other thing for the sevens, again, this exhaustion of being with people, being, you know, just again if you imagine the animals will come full circle.
Speaker 2:you know, for the nine, their animal is the elephant, and so you think about an elephant on the stage versus a monkey, you know, or an elephant on the stage versus the peacock or the beaver. Nines are just about like that herd mentality and, just again, keeping peace.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have to think about that a little bit. I'm not so sure that I 100% agree, but obviously there's been some science behind this.
Speaker 2:At least from these particular places I've researched.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 2:But again for the sevens, with the nine, like sevens live their life not to be bored, nines are like huh. Not that nines wanna be bored, but they just want space. Yeah, I mean, I don't care if I'm entertained or not too much. And sevens live for entertainment, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Interesting. So I think the reason I wouldn't have guessed the three is because three is probably where I do push toward like hard because otherwise I'll not get anything done Right, and so that's why I always talk about the three and the eight. I was as the numbers that I work hard at emulating.
Speaker 2:I guess you know, yeah, trying to get that inertia, yeah, trying to get inertia and all of that, yeah, so yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So that's why I wouldn't have guessed the three, the seven. Okay, maybe I was a little bit of the classical clown, but I could not maintain it.
Speaker 2:Like there were some people that were the class clown all the time every day and I couldn't keep that up Well and that's a great reflection of like I could do it but, just keeping it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like not worth it. Yeah, it was too exhausting. Yes, the laughs just aren't worth it.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. Yes, yeah, it takes too much energy. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, this has been really good.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, hopefully helpful, Just again for some of our friends out there who are like am I this, am I that and again the goal isn't like I have to figure out my number, you know today it's just again that tool to help us to just connect with ourself and look a little bit more at like what motivates us to do what we do.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. All right. Well, thanks everybody for joining us on EnneagramU and I hope you are no longer mistyped and you can go back and listen to the other two episodes if you want to hear about the other numbers. And Kelly, thank you so much for all this information and wow, that's a lot and we were in the deep end of the pool.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:For the last three episodes, and we probably ought to do this again, yes, and go from again, so I can once again learn it. So, anyway, thanks everybody for joining us and we'll see you next time on EnneagramU. Bye Kelly, bye Damon, tell me what you do and I'll love you. Oh, oh, oh, and I'll love you so, oh, oh, oh, and I'll love you so.