EnneagramU
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EnneagramU
An Enneagram Thanksgiving
It's Kelly's birthday and Thanksgiving!
A lot to celebrate.
Today we share about why we are thankful for each number and throw out some challenges for each number.
We are grateful for you.
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Welcome to Enneagram U, damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. With your skeptic or an enthusiast, together, we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon, happy Thanksgiving and I'd like to say hello to my friend Kelly. Hi Kelly, hey Damon, I threw off my intro there a little bit.
Speaker 2:You did Happy Thanksgiving in there, yes it's Thanksgiving. Can you believe it?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It comes around every year it does. But more importantly, it's also birthday week for me.
Speaker 1:It is. Is it your birthday?
Speaker 2:My birthday is the day after Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Oh, whoops. Wait, folks. I'm in trouble now, so let's take a pause. No, I'm just kidding, that's right. Our team has so many birthdays in November.
Speaker 2:Yes, out of the number of our team, I think four of us are in November and you're the end of October, so we've got them all clumped up there.
Speaker 1:I ignore birthdays, though I've had enough of them to last me a lifetime.
Speaker 2:But happy birthday, kelly. Yes, and because my birthday is usually the week of Thanksgiving, I just have a birthday week.
Speaker 1:Right, oh right, and you have pumpkin pie for your cake. Yes, is that true? I?
Speaker 2:love pumpkin pie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're a fall girl.
Speaker 2:I've probably been conditioned in me since as a child yeah, I have to share. I was upset about that as a kid. I did not like to have my birthday around Thanksgiving because it felt like I couldn't have my party because people were gone Right and the big thing in first grade was for your mom to bring cookies or donuts to school, and then you could go help the lunch lady by getting the little cartons of milk. Boy, that's fun, woohoo. Yeah, it was back then, back in the day, but it seemed like every year around my birthday school was out.
Speaker 1:So anyway, but I love it now. Yeah, School was out, I love it now. It just got mixed in with Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like Christmas when your birthday is around Christmas as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, but I love it now because I just declare birthday week and celebrate the whole week. Yay, and you're thankful for your birthday. I am thankful, very thankful.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't like getting older.
Speaker 1:I'm thankful for your birthday too, but not mine.
Speaker 2:Yes. Well we can just focus on my celebration, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's do that. You can get older. Yes, I shall go the other direction.
Speaker 2:Yes, we'll get you older. We're fighting it.
Speaker 1:Well, we have a lot of thankful things to talk about today. Yes, we do.
Speaker 2:Gratitude is the feeling of the week. Okay, yeah, on birthday week. Birthday week, that's right, yes. Do you have any other feelings though that you want to share?
Speaker 1:Oh, we have Forget about that. Look at that. I know I'm so grateful. Got to keep you accountable. I'm feeling grateful today. I think it's a very dreary day here outside of the studios so that was hard because it's cold and wet, but generally speaking, I'm thankful of all that we get to do.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's good. I'm not super sad because of the weather, even though I really hate it right now.
Speaker 2:It is dreary, yeah, but we can be in the midst of the circumstances. We can be grateful.
Speaker 1:We can try. We can try. I know that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Cool. What's your feeling? I am excited.
Speaker 1:Well, of course it's your birthday.
Speaker 2:Yes, birthday week is very exciting for me. So yeah, but just feel loved yeah. So yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1:All right yeah.
Speaker 2:So we are going to talk about gratitude today. Okay, gratitude in the enneagram.
Speaker 1:I'm grateful.
Speaker 2:You're really like what can not be connected to the enneagram, Everything's enneagram.
Speaker 1:Well, it is the name of the podcast. Yeah, well, true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, our listeners might be disappointed if they turn it on and we don't mention anything about it, although we could probably do 20 minutes, or however long we're going to do, of just you and I talking.
Speaker 1:That's right, but then five minutes in already Lose listeners. Yeah, anyway.
Speaker 2:So what we want to do, though, as we go through the different numbers, is to just let our friends that are the different numbers know what we're grateful for about them Okay, so many great things, all right and then also to give encouragement for the different numbers to be grateful.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:So, because you know and these are probably stretches a little bit, but you know those things that we can really learn, that can be some of those challenges about ourselves, what keep us more in that average or unhealthy, and so to be able to have gratitude and move out of that place of average or unhealthy moves us into health.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And let me see this about gratitude. So, for all the numbers, gratitude is powerful. So there was a study done years ago by positive psychology that took people that were severely depressed. They were in an inpatient facility for their depression, and so what they had them do for 21 days is every day, right down five things they were grateful for, and so they gave them a Beck depression inventory, which really gave a score of what their depression was before and then after. The only thing that they did different was these five gratitudes every day. And again, these are people that are in an inpatient facility and after 21 days all of them reported having less symptoms of depression just because they were grateful.
Speaker 2:Just because they were acknowledging they were acknowledging yeah, on the lookout for gratitude. So psychology, god's word also tells us to be grateful. So there's, there's a real power in gratefulness.
Speaker 1:We're going to say it's powerful, powerful Gratefulness is powerful.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So we're going to say we're going to hit the numbers and we're going to say what we're grateful for about, yes, each number.
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:We're going to give the number something to the number. You're just a number out there. Yes, then we're going to give the person, who's whatever number they are, something to lean into to help them be more grateful.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, and to just maybe connect gratitude with ways to really grow Okay For themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, be more grateful so that they can grow.
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:I'm writing it down, good, because I'll forget.
Speaker 2:Well, and because you're all the numbers you've got a lot of work.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm ready, though.
Speaker 2:Yes, OK, all right. We're going to start at the top with number let's do, let's start with one, so we are thankful for ones. Of course, they're the good person. Ones really keep us balanced.
Speaker 1:They also have high standards for us. Thank you, juan, for making everything perfect.
Speaker 2:Yes, or good and good is enough, but they are the ones that are organized.
Speaker 2:They plan ahead for us Again, very self-disciplined and honest, there are advocates, and so for the ones, though, in just growing for them in gratitude, a little assignment I would ask for the ones to consider To be able to tell three different people who you care about, what they mean to you, so expressing your gratitude that you have for them. Now, the reason that this is important is, you know ones, that more challenging side for the one is that constant voice of the inner critic, and so that can be the inner critic of themselves or others, and so this helps a one just to pause, to look at people in their lives and to really look at what they're grateful for and to share that with them.
Speaker 1:OK, yeah. So, we're going to ask ones out there. Fine, three people. Express some gratitude toward those three people to fight their own inner critic. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Sounds like a powerful plan.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:Because being grateful is powerful.
Speaker 2:It is OK. Today's slogan, our mantra All right. So, moving on to the twos, these are our helpers, the loving person. So we are so grateful for the twos. They bring us compassion and guidance, warmth, they serve us, they're very generous, they're nurturers in our lives. I mean, if we have a friend who is a two, they're just the best friend. So supportive. Yes, yeah, we love our twos, and so a growth area for the two that we would invite them to do is to write down three things about yourself that you're grateful for, because we know that for twos, they're going to be grateful for everyone else but not themselves, because they focus on just loving and serving others, and so they, a lot of times, don't actually see those attributes in themselves.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:And so, after they write down three things that they feel grateful for about themselves, then to say those three things out loud.
Speaker 1:Is that like a proclamation? What is it called Affirmation? Yes, I was going to say proclamation.
Speaker 2:That's how I do it. It's an acclimate, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:No Affirmation.
Speaker 2:Affirmation.
Speaker 1:Proclamation yes.
Speaker 2:Well, and the reason that this is important to say it out loud, is that a lot of times if it's just in our head? But by saying it out loud it's coming out of your mouth back into your ears, which again is so important for, too, to be able to hear those things. Ok, Some of these may seem a little corny, but they're helpful.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, it's really not corny. So we have this super loving person that's compassionate, and they're nurturers for everybody else. So, they are probably pretty grateful for their relationships and friends, and we're just saying hey, you also need to think about you. So write down three things about yourself to help your own gratitude toward who you are.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Increase and say it out loud.
Speaker 2:Exactly because that growth area for it too, is self-care. And so part of self-care is having those positive affirmation, proclamations, proclamations.
Speaker 1:I want to see all the two is running around to be you proclaiming their gratefulness for themselves. I declare I'm grateful for myself OK that's good. Good luck, twos. We'll know, because you're going to be proclaiming. We'll see it.
Speaker 2:Yes. Next is the threes. So threes are efficient and effective people. They are so helpful in motivating us, they teach us confidence and they're also teaching us optimism. They also help us get our goals met. So, as I've worked with teams around VU, the threes always get props for being the one that helps the team to move towards the goal. So they really do help us to meet our goals. They're energetic.
Speaker 1:Thank, you threes. Thank you threes.
Speaker 2:We appreciate threes. So for the growth area for the three is to allow yourself to do something that you really want to do Now, not for the sake of success or respect, not that you want anybody to know that you did it, but just for the enjoyment of the experience. So if there's something that you think, oh, this would be life-giving, like maybe taking a walk or getting a massage or reading a book, like whatever your thing might be, that would just be something that you'd like. Ok, I'd really like to do this. That's probably going to be the hard part for the three figuring out what they'd really like to do. That's not connected to work.
Speaker 1:Right, and it can't have a goal connected to it.
Speaker 2:Really, I mean, unless you want to kind of twist it a little bit to say the goal is affirming yourself or having gratitude for yourself, that's the goal. Yeah, now the challenge is going to be to. It's just for the enjoyment of the experience, but also I would like to challenge the threes not to tell anybody what they did.
Speaker 1:Oh OK.
Speaker 2:See the connection there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they want to appear like they were successful, right, right. So this will be like yeah, I'm successful, but don't tell anybody. Yes, ok.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, that appreciation and taking care of yourself period versus taking care and appreciating yourself comma. So that, so that yeah.
Speaker 1:Others will see yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, so this will be one of those that is just affirming and doing something for yourself, period. That's hard to do. It is Because it's hard for anybody.
Speaker 1:I mean just because you go accomplish something and the first thing we wanna do is share our joy or share our accomplishment, for whatever our motivation is good or bad and, as humans, we tend to like proclaim.
Speaker 2:Yes, so we're asking the two to proclaim, but the threes don't proclaim.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's correct.
Speaker 2:Yes, but yeah, I think this is gonna be helpful because it really connects the three just to themselves and not again that motivation they may not even recognize it but that motivation to get acceptance from others, that conditional kind of approval.
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, all right. Next, the fours. These are our original creative people. Oh my gosh. Fours teach us how to dream, to be creative, to really feel our emotions deeply. I mean, there are friends that are authentic. They teach us how to be unique and actually sentimental, a bit sensitive too. It's because they have their unique way of looking out into the world, and so we so appreciate our fours. Thank you fours. Yes, I mean, can you imagine a world without fours?
Speaker 1:It would be, yeah, it would be meh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, it would be meh, all right. So a growth step that I would invite fours to do, and just being grateful for themselves, is to make a list of what you have to offer. So just take a moment and just however you wanna do that creatively get your colored pencils or whatever you wanna do but then to narrow it down to just three items and then to do something creative with each of those that just symbolize where you're special.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, and that makes sense Because you've mentioned before that fours kinda get in their own head. We use the word longing a couple of weeks now three in a row and they're looking for. They sometimes feel like everyone else has what they're looking for. But really they have a lot to offer already, yes, and so you're saying, hey, we're thankful for you. This will be another way you can be thankful for what you have to offer.
Speaker 2:And then being able to do something creative with those three things that they really feel like. Okay, this is what I bring to the world.
Speaker 2:And so then, how can I, in different ways, like you know, symbolize or create something that just remind me of what I bring to the world? Yeah, hanging on your wall? Yes, for sure. Look at it, Put it in a space that you can look at it daily, just as that reminder. Cool, yeah, that's cool, cool, cool, okay, all right. So the fives. Oh, my gosh, the fives. I'm thankful for fives.
Speaker 2:I am too. Just imagine you know what they've brought into our world with just their information, their knowledge, their insights. But they also teach us to be calm and to think about things, to be perceptive, how to solve problems. They love to see how things fit together because they are our wise person. They also keep us curious and objective.
Speaker 1:Well, the list goes on it does it, does they do it? So quietly they do.
Speaker 2:They do. They just kind of set back and observe yeah, you know, as they're putting all the things in their mind and putting pieces together, then they come out with just options that we would have not ever considered. So so grateful for their insights. So, okay, here's their growth. Step for the five To make a list of the things in your life which is abundant and actually replenishes itself automatically so that it won't be depleted. So make a list of as many things that you could think of in your life, and it doesn't just have to be personally, it could be in the world around you. So you're seeing a long list.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, so, but those are the list of things that are abundant and that replenish naturally, like an example would be. So we have an abundance of oxygen, you know, and so it's not gonna run out, and so this is something that they can give great, you know, gratitude for that. Okay, yeah, this is something that I don't have to work on, that's gonna run out, because, you know, so often for the fives there is that space of just not having enough information, not having enough of what's needed. I think scarcity mindset could be something that can sneak up on a five. They may not feel it, but a lot of times that's what pursue. You know, what causes them to pursue more and more information. So, yeah, just thinking through, like, okay, what in my life and in my world is there just something that there's an abundance of or that's not gonna run out? That's not gonna run out, and being able just to have gratitude for those things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, thankful for things. They don't have to keep researching and researching and looking for and all just like almost for. I don't know, it's already discovered, it's already sold. It's already in process, and yeah, and then now guess what? You can just be thankful for that.
Speaker 2:And you don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1:And you don't have to Google it.
Speaker 2:Yes, and there doesn't have to be that that struggle that the fives have of greed you know, of just wanting more and more information, it actually moves into that healthy place where they know that they're okay you know, that enough is enough.
Speaker 1:That might be hard for fives, just the assignment, because it will almost be like come on, kelly. All right, I'll put down my list of I'm thankful for the air, I'm thankful for water, I'm thankful. But, if you give yourself a break and give the assignment a little bit of a break, there's probably some beauty in it.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think that's a great point, because I think for each of the numbers, because these are stretching us, it would be easy to just poo poo them or go. Oh.
Speaker 1:I would dismiss it immediately. Yes, I'm going to keep you accountable. I'm going to keep you accountable.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're going to, I'm going to see your list. Yeah, but you know, the thing that we also want to remember, too, is that the very thing that we need to grow, we tend to resist, and so if we can just embrace it, it becomes a gift.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So imagine yourself on the other side of the assignment. Yeah, and just try it.
Speaker 1:What do you have to lose? Well, there's that. Yes, you're just pulling this counselor stuff on us right now. I don't think it's fair Putting my counselor hat on. Yes, that's good.
Speaker 2:All right. So that's the five. Moving to the sixes. The sixes are loyal person, they are faithful. Oh my gosh, our six friends. They are so reliable, they are prepared. They are so dependable too. Like we asked them to do something, we don't even have to circle back around. They're just so dependable. They're also very thoughtful, just hardworking. I may have said that already, but no, it's good.
Speaker 2:And I think the sixes, as we think about them, they're our loyal friends, that we've just had their, our friends through thick and thin, and so they are so, so amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. So their growth step and how to be grateful for themselves is to consider a time that you have shown courage and to be grateful for that space, because for sixes, they tend to dismiss their own courage and they focus on other people or institutions or systems that keep them strong, you know. But to be able to look back, maybe over the last few months or even the last year, and go, okay, where were some spaces that I was courageous? And again, it doesn't have to be, you know, something that's like on a scale of zero to a hundred, a hundred percent courageous, but like, okay, where did I have that difficult conversation? Or where did I set that boundary? Or, you know, where did I let go of some of my fears?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really good. And yeah, sixes, because they are prepared people sometimes that can lean too far. And now, we're just scared.
Speaker 2:We're not prepared, we're scared.
Speaker 1:Yes, and let's write that one down, I mean trademark, that one. So yeah, exactly, and yeah. So consider a few times where you haven't let fear run your decision, or even if you were afraid, you went ahead and you were courageous because you can't be courageous unless you're facing a fear anyway. So where are you faced fear?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's a great way of looking at it. Like you know, where did I choose something other than fear?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I think for the sixes that is going to have happened more than what they might have realized, because fear does creep in so quickly and kind of negates those times that they were courageous or that they stepped out, even in fear.
Speaker 1:Right, and I would like to yell back at our fives and just say you can quit making your list now. I know you're still going and you're still researching those things that are abundant and you're probably at number 25.
Speaker 2:That's enough, Okay now we can go to seven. Should we set a boundary with that and say don't Google the abundant things in the world?
Speaker 1:I don't know why I came back out of my mind. I'm like we've moved on to six, but I think five's still making their list.
Speaker 2:You're probably right, yeah, yeah, all right. So moving to the seven. So sevens, of course. They just bring our world such joy. They take us on adventures and they're spontaneous, they're enthusiastic, they make every setting fun, they're very playful, they tell stories, they're great friends to have. Of course, I love, love, love sevens, since my husband and son are sevens. I just think about gosh. How dull the world, my world, would be if I took them.
Speaker 1:I bet there is never a dull moment in your house.
Speaker 2:There is so much joy Household. Yeah, yeah, so much joy. Thank you sevens.
Speaker 1:Oh, and thank you sixes and thank you fives. I don't know if I said that Okay.
Speaker 2:Five is still going All right. So the growth area for the seven is to think about one thing, just one thing in your life that you care deeply about, and that is self-sustaining. So this could be being grateful for one area in your life that you just feel like is just something that you're doing, that just creates this rhythm. That's self-sustaining and the reason that this is so important for the sevens. Like if we had asked them to make a list of whatever, There'd be a lot of activities.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of activities.
Speaker 2:But, like, just narrow it down to one thing and maybe you brainstorm first and then you just pick one thing in your life that you care deeply about that is self-sustaining, okay. So it could be like a rhythm of like I think about for my husband, for example, like he has just some rhythms in his life that I know bring him so much joy, like every Monday night he's on a bowling league with friends, okay, and so that may be one for him, like that's just self-sustaining. It's just on the calendar and it's going to happen every week, so it could be anything. Yeah, those rhythms, boundaries, all right. Moving to the eight we're doing good, okay, we're doing good with our time, okay. So eights, this feels weird to say thank you eights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's because you're talking to yourself.
Speaker 2:But for the eights in my life that I also know, eights bring boldness and strength and determination. Of course there are protectors. They're strong. They step out a lot of times, even in fear, to accomplish things. They get results done. They're very decisive. So we appreciate that about them. They have a confidence. They're also resourceful and so the growth step for eights, with gratitude is to. This is hard to say this.
Speaker 1:Because you got to do it.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 1:I'll build this All right.
Speaker 2:Here we go To feel your vulnerability and experience gratitude for just those places that you're vulnerable, and then to have gentleness with yourself when you feel this so I can already tell you. Just as I was preparing for this, I was like, okay, so the area that I noticed, like one area that I tend to feel vulnerable, is my health and so being able, because I think, as the eight, like if my health, like if something's going to stop me from doing, something it's me I'm stopping myself my health, but just to experience gratitude for just the health that I do have, the health that my body has carried me through all the way to this point, and also, again, talking about my birthday, the vulnerability that I'm getting older, are you?
Speaker 1:I'm not, but you might be In reality, folks in me. Surprise you, even counselors have trouble being vulnerable.
Speaker 2:It can happen, right? I mean, as human, we are vulnerable and even being able to say that we have limited resources because, we're limited beings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so an eight who is so driven and so going. It goes so hard all the time. It may be hard to stop and do that To stop and say oh, I am shaky here, I don't feel very well for whatever reason, or I am aging in that and kind of sitting out a bit and have grace for yourself.
Speaker 2:That's just the process, because I think a lot of times, if eights don't take that step towards growth and doing an exercise like this, we just push ourselves harder, because, again, that's where that lust for more power comes in. I don't want to feel vulnerable, so I'm just going to act like I'm 18. I'm going to push my body past a point that it needs to be.
Speaker 1:And then boom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then, your body says Uh, no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good job. Yes, all right, we're done.
Speaker 1:Uh, thanks for joining us here on the Enneagram and you guys can all just tune out.
Speaker 2:But wait there's one more. Okay, the nines, oh my goodness. Nines and Damon, I say this to you you cannot say the word peaceful. No, I won't.
Speaker 1:No, go ahead, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Actually, you are the calm to our storms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, am I. Yeah, you just keep things just balanced.
Speaker 2:You also help us learn patience. You trust us and you accept us as you, as we are. And nines, just stay positive. There are those people that we can go to like when we're having a challenge and they can listen because they're such supportive friends.
Speaker 1:They're very open-minded and easygoing, so yeah, 50% of that, is true, all right. The other, just that will be your growth area. Yeah, all right. Well, we're about to go there.
Speaker 2:All right. So, last but not least, the assignment for the nines. I have to do is uh now this is getting a little bit creative.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So nines are to write an advertisement for yourself, holy cow.
Speaker 1:That's a lot of work. Everyone else is making a list. I have to do an entire advertisement.
Speaker 2:Yes, and this advertisement is where you promote yourself for who you are, your accomplishments and your capabilities.
Speaker 1:All right, this is impossible. All right, I know it feels like a growth area.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it is. Because nines are so self forgetting and nines really minimize all the ways that you bring just yourself into the world and all the things that you do and so being able just to promote yourself.
Speaker 1:Now again.
Speaker 2:no one has to see it, Unless you want to put it out on our story.
Speaker 1:I'll put it out there. I'm going to start with my name and I'm going to say here's what I've done in this life. You totally should, that would be the most uncomfortable thing I can think of.
Speaker 2:Well, exactly that's where it's a growth step. But see, this is you know, for for nines, this actually you know, as we've talked about the arrows and with all the numbers, we could talk about the arrows for this growth, step with growth, step with gratitude. But this, is you really moving into that three space?
Speaker 1:Okay, I have to do it. Advertising yes, all right, I'm going to do what's going on social this week?
Speaker 2:No, it's not. No, please let it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh boy. Well, stay tuned, you never know. Oh well, that's good stuff.
Speaker 2:Yes. So just a way that we want to say, like you said, we appreciate all the numbers and then, for all the numbers in our own space of growth, you know, maybe take this assignment this week and, you know, have gratitude for yourself. Well.
Speaker 1:Kelly. Happy Thanksgiving, Happy birthday week.
Speaker 2:I'm thankful for you.
Speaker 1:I am thankful for you, my friend, and I'm thankful for any gram you and all of our listeners. So we will see you next week. Have a great week. Bye Kelly, Bye Damon.