I Feel You, A Fortify Wellness Production
Bettina Mahoney the Founder/CEO of @atfortifywellness is a rape survivor who started her brand after struggling to not only find a therapist, but multiple mediums to heal through her trauma. Fortify Wellness is a 360 holistic platform offering therapy, coaching, fitness, and meditation on one subscription platform. We dive deep with our trailblazing guests about overcoming adversity.
I Feel You, A Fortify Wellness Production
Magic Happens in Person: How Authentic Relationships Transform Entrepreneurship
Magic happens in person. Tori Hanson shares her founder journey from corporate safety at the New York Times to building vibrant communities in NYC through the Knowledge Shop and Meet in 10.
• From staring at pigeons during the pandemic to creating founder communities
• Why entrepreneurship is "incredibly humbling" and requires deep self-awareness
• Creating personal systems and boundaries to avoid burnout as a founder
• The courage to leave corporate comfort for entrepreneurial uncertainty
• Why networking fails when approached as transactional rather than relational
• "Peacocking" - how introverts can attract conversations at networking events
• Successful founders have "grand ideas, loosely held" - vision with adaptability
• Converting childhood challenges into entrepreneurial superpowers
• Building a legacy of togetherness in an increasingly divided world
Remember your wellbeing is your greatest strength. Nurture it, honor it, and watch yourself thrive.
More about Tori:
Magic happens in person' isn't just Tori Hanson's motto—it's her business model. She is the founder of "Meet in 10" event Saas platform, and the Knowledge Shop founder community. In 2024 she organised 30+ events—from startup matchmaking to UK/EU expansion support—while herfoundereventsnyc.com platform showcased 2,500 additional founder gatherings throughout NYC. Previously, Tori spent 15 years in media, most recently managing travel, e-commerce, and education businesses at The New York Times. Originally from the UK, she relocated to NYC in 2013 and now calls Long Island City home.
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**This information is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice. Please contact your medical team if you have questions or concerns pertaining to your medical or psychological well-being. All of the linked products are independently selected, and curated by the fab Fortify team. If you love and buy something we link to, we may earn a commission.**
Welcome to I Feel you a Fortify Wellness production season seven, where we explore the real stories and strategies that help you strengthen your mind, body and soul. I'm Bettina Mahoney, your guide on this journey to a healthier, more vibrant you. Before we get started, here's a quick reminder. This information shared today is for your inspiration and knowledge, but always consult a healthcare provider for any medical concerns. I am so excited to welcome my next guest. Magic happens in person Isn't just Tori Hanson's motto, it's her business model. She's the founder of Meet in 10, an event SaaS platform, and the Knowledge Shop founder community. In 2024, she organized over 30 events, from startup matchmaking to UK EU expansion support, while her founder events nyccom platform showcased 2,500 additional founder gatherings throughout New York City. Previously, Tori spent 15 years in media, most recently managing travel, e-commerce and education businesses at the New York Times. Originally from the UK, she relocated to New York City in 2013 and now calls Long Island City home. Please welcome, Tori Hanson. Hi, Tori, Thank you so much for joining me today on the podcast. How are you, Tori?
Speaker 2:Hanson Hi Tori, Thank you so much for joining me today on the podcast.
Speaker 1:How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you, Bettina? I'm doing great. So I want to get to know Tori a lot better. I want to know, when you strip away all the titles, the responsibilities, the expectations, all the hats, all your titles, who are you at your core and what does peace look like for you in those moments?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that you like dive straight in with like big questions as opposed to like pussy fitting around. I mean, I'm just like a life generalist, so I end up doing like a million different things, but ultimately I've always been this person who wanted to change the world. That's me, that's like my mantra, things. But ultimately I've always been this person who wanted to change the world. Like that that's me, that's like my mantra. And I never really know how I'm. You know, still don't know how I'm going to go about doing it, but that is who I am like.
Speaker 2:I just want to leave the world better than I found it and I guess to that end, like peace can mean all sorts of different things. It just depends what I'm doing and whether I feel like I'm having a positive impact at that moment in time. But you know, just very practically it could be standing at the beach looking out at the ocean. You know I'm a very visual person, I'm a very audio person, so I like the sounds, I like, you know, being able to focus on something. But equally it could be being active and running around, and you know the activity is a way to sort of calm my thoughts a little bit. So I'd say those.
Speaker 1:I agree. I also love the beach. I love being any excuse to be near water. I am there and I want to talk about your incredible massive network that you've built. So, entrepreneur. I know the highs and the lows of entrepreneurship. There's incredible parts to it. There's hard parts to it. Anything that we do in life. I'd love to hear both sides for you. But you know you've talked a lot about dangers and isolation and entrepreneurship. What's the hardest truth you've had to face when trying to go it alone?
Speaker 2:I mean there are so many. I mean it's incredibly humblingbling. I would say it's like one of the key things. Um, you no longer have a team behind you, you no longer have a big name behind you. Like I used to work New York Times and I'd introduce myself and be like hi, I'm Tori, I work at the New York Times, and like automatically, like people responded because of that, and then when you're just like, oh, hi, I'm Tori, dot dot, dot, because maybe you haven't even figured out what your thing is, it's really hard and so you have to be really humble.
Speaker 2:You have to be Very self-aware as well if you're going to make progress. You know well, if you're going to make progress, you know you, suddenly all of your weaknesses are like forefront and you can't you can't hide from those. You know it's like. I know there are certain um practices that I have to implement if I'm going to be my best self. I I know that. You know listening to music is a good thing. Getting up and straight into work is a really good thing for me, as opposed to like starting to think and overthink, which is a tendency I have. So I think that's probably the biggest thing is like it's humbling. You have to be really self-aware and if you want to succeed, you have to try and find, like coping mechanisms or or ways that you can ensure that you can create an environment that's best for you.
Speaker 1:I love that and in the last episode I brought on Bershon Shaw from Real Housewives and we talked about you know, and we also talked to Christelle the week before about the brain candy, about the adversity, about being a warrior, about unveiling the mass. So can you dive a little bit deeper with me about your process with being brutally honest with yourself? Has that been hard for you? Like what? What is your source, your vehicle towards getting really honest with yourself?
Speaker 2:I don't know that I have a full process, I just know what I need to do in order to succeed. Like, I know that I'm really bad at working from home and so like, not just because well, well, I discovered this, I guess, during the pandemic like there's my husband and I trying to work together in the same space and it's just really not working, um, but I also know that I distract myself a lot, so, like, if I'm left on my own, I just don't work very well. Um, and so if I go somewhere else and that could be, frankly, that could be a Starbucks it doesn't have to be a paid base for me, it just needs to be somewhere else. That's been like a lifesaver. But also, I think you know the more that you put yourself out there.
Speaker 2:I never wanted to be the person who people would say oh you know how are you doing, what are you doing, and not really have a progress story that I could share. You know still be like circling around, like I need to be doing something to be able to show that I'm achieving something, and so I guess maybe that's almost like sort of public accountability too. Like I share a lot on LinkedIn and I try to like, share me, like videos of me and like what I'm up to and that's, I guess, another form of like that public accountability.
Speaker 1:I love that and I grew up as a competitive dancer and so when before I I danced in college, I was dancing in high school probably 30 to 40 hours a week, and so I'd wake up, you know, go to school, come back, do my homework, go to dance till 1030 at night and then repeat it, and so one of the greatest things about that experience I had, and then doing it in college, was that I'm very regimented. So in my head I make a schedule for myself. I'm kind of insane. I have like a color coded thing, but I wake up and I treat this like I'm going to a corporate job. I wake up, that same process. I get my Dunkin' Donuts because I'm from Massachusetts and that's very on brand for me.
Speaker 1:And then you know, I have my time that I start my work, and then I have my time in the middle of the day where I hop on a Peloton or I do something active to reset, and then I go right back I call it basic, right back. And then I have that time that I stop. And then I also have those boundaries of like when I don't take a meeting. You know I had someone that actually asked me recently, like, can we meet on Saturday? I'm like, nope, sorry, I have to be with family on Saturday because I really I take it seriously, because I have no one that's giving me a gold star at the end of the day for completing. I have to be able to take care of my own wellness, to be able to show up for people in a way that they deserve, and I know that in the weekends that you know, sometimes that has to happen. As a founder, saturday is my day to be with family and that?
Speaker 2:well, it's your business, isn't it? So if you don't create it in the way that works for you, like nobody else is going to do that, nobody else is going to know, and you don't want to burn out and like not be able to deliver your best work, so it's it's really important to be able to craft the environment, the organization, the team, whatever it might be, in a spirit that aligns with your values Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely and yeah, I mean absolutely and it's about setting boundaries and again being brutally aware with yourself, like what you need. So I want to talk about the Knowledge Shop, which is a real. That's where I met you at one of your events. It was a really I loved it. It was very. It was a small event but I got a lot out of it. Um, on a Friday morning and morning love it. So it's all about in-person connection. Can you pinpoint for me one relationship or conversation that completely changed the way you look at your business or your life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think. I mean I'm surrounded by lots of different people. But again, I think you know the moment where I realized something needed to shift was and I sort of alluded to it a little bit before it's like when I'm at the pandemic and I'm literally sat at the table staring out the window at pigeons and I've just been going round in circles In my head, I'm just like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Because, to sort of take a step back for a second, like when I left the times I knew I wanted to do something but I hadn't, like, really figured out what I wanted to do and because of that I was like I need to be around other people. These pigeons are not going to inspire me, um, and they're also not going to help me build my network either. So I can't say that I had a conversation with a pigeon that would be taking are not going to inspire me and they're also not going to help me build my network either. So I can't say that I had a conversation with a pigeon that would be taking it to a whole different level. But that was definitely the moment I thought something has to change and it was.
Speaker 2:That was really the origin story of the knowledge shop, which is I need to get out there, I need to surround myself with other people who would, who are on this journey too. Um, and I then, you know, just created an event on meetup for co-working day for founders. People came, I didn't charge them anything, but at the end of the day, people actually did a whip round and they then made me money to cover the cost of the room because I paid for it out of pocket. Um, and like that was. That was the origin story of the knowledge shop and it's been going for about four years now, but I really like, yes, we've got a whatsapp group and we've got a slack group, but the secret sauce, the magic for me, where I get my energy from and where I hope other people who come do as well, is that in-person event piece.
Speaker 1:Um, so would you consider yourself an extrovert, someone that really re-energizes around people?
Speaker 2:I would consider myself. Is it like an ambivert, like I? Really there are moments where I need to be with other people and there are moments where I will literally hide, like after some events I come back and I just I can't even. There is nothing left in my head. I'm just like a complete zombie. So it really depends on the day of the week, the event, whether it's mine, whether it's somebody else's, um. So I think, because of that, I sort of I'm very aware of dynamics in the room, for both those who are more extroverted and those are introverted as well.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely more introverted, but because of my experience as a dancer I'm able to sort of push myself out there and and make myself extroverted, but I definitely find myself. Oh, I can't wait to like come home to the apartment and reset. Yeah, no.
Speaker 2:I hear you.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to circle back just a little bit with what you said. Can I ask you why you left the New York Times to start your?
Speaker 2:own business. Yeah, so I was in this frankly amazing job. I'd worked at the Times for seven years and I'd always worked in media, like media was my background. I was in this amazing job and I was basically building startups for them. They were looking for ways to engage their readers in the real world and I came on board initially to launch a travel program called Times Journeys where we would create tours all over. Where we would create tours all over, they would be accompanied by journalists and, uh, our readers would then get to really understand what was at the heart of the topic, and that could be anything from god, like the political situation in israel and palestine, all the way through to new york city theater. It was a really diverse um set of trips anyway.
Speaker 2:So that then led me to building a, or running the school of the New York Times, a wine club, like all of these things, which was just amazing, but that's, you know, very much like entrepreneurial at the heart, and so it sort of got to the point of, you know, with the beginning of the pandemic happening and I was like I was starting to feel very much like, you know, you can live at home with your parents, parents, and it's really comfy and it's amazing they do your washing. It's so stable. But at some point, like I, just it doesn't logically make sense, but I just need to go. Like I can't be somebody else's brand. I've got ideas and I want to go out and do my own thing. So at the same time I was doing my MBA and I was thinking about doing something I can't do. All three like this is just crazy. So I took the leap and hoped it would work out what was the pivoting point that made you go?
Speaker 1:I gotta take the leap. I can't be here in the safety safety zone forever yeah, um, I don't know that that would well.
Speaker 2:I mean the one moment where I think I like I was in tears in the kitchen, I and my husband's like oh dear, I think we need to do something now, and it was just. I think it was just mental overload as well, because I was just like scenario playing so much and it's the pandemic, and most of what I was doing at work was very in-person orientated, so everything was like changing and I was like, right, you know, I need to either fully, fully commit to my day job or I need to fully commit to my own thing, and that was, I guess you know, my body physically saying something isn't working now, like you need to do something differently.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean talk a lot about that on this podcast that your body will feed you information, and I know for me, I waited too late after I was assaulted and then my body literally gave out on me and I now listen to my body. That's why I do these like mid afternoon workouts, because that's like what my body needs, and it's so great that you are strong and you're able to listen to what your body meant. It sounds like you're feeling a little burnt out and overwhelmed and you're like okay, this is what I need to do to feel better and more empowered within myself, to feel happier, and that's such a brave thing that you did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like I've got an amazing therapist and like she'd been hearing, you know, she'd gone through the whole journey and everything, and so it wasn't like I was on my own, like I said I've got an amazing husband too, but it was just. I think that was it. Like you have to make a change, but like 100% to your point, like I'm such a big believer in trusting your gut, like any decision that I've ever made where I've gone against my gut and I've tried to rationalize it which is really hard because part of me is very much a scientist and the other part is very much a out in the ether like the world will support you. So I'm sort of like an internal contradiction, but anytime I go against my gut it always goes badly, badly wrong absolutely and I think in a lot of ways, like listening to my body, saved my life, you know.
Speaker 1:That's why I believe in mind, body, spirit, because it's interconnected. So I want to talk about networking, because you see it all over LinkedIn, every community. It's a huge buzzword. What's one mistake that most people make? That when they're trying to make real authentic relationships? I know for entrepreneurs, I see it all the time. I had to learn this. You kind of have to date someone. You know what I mean, For lack of a better term. You have to date them, get to know them. I was very much pitch, pitch, pitch in the very beginning. I'm no longer that way anymore. I'm trying to be an active listener. So I see a lot of entrepreneurs that go up to people and start just pitching them, you know. So what's like the mistake that you see outside of maybe pitching that you think is kind of a mistake that people make.
Speaker 2:I mean that, but one you identified is definitely of a mistake that people make, I mean that. But one you identified is definitely like a classic. It's like they don't spend any time building relationships, they're just straight into it. It's like this is who I am, you know. Can you, can you introduce me to like your top 10 VCs that you know? Or like how many customers do you have, like I need to, you know? And they automatically start categorizing you as like are you useful or not, and if not, like they walk off and so sort of. Building on that too, it's because they're not investing in that conversation. They don't know, like, where that relationship could end up. You know, I get I've given a couple of talks recently on networking specifically, and I talk about uh, you know, you should always be doing this, and that is the number one.
Speaker 2:You should always just be a good person and treat that person with respect and with an open mind, and if you can't do that, you shouldn't even be networking. Like networking gets a bad rep because quite often, like, people go into it with unrealistic expectations. They think of it as almost like an instant transaction you go to an event, you're automatically going to get something. It's not transactional, it is fully, fully relationship based, and if you don't want to commit to that, then frankly you don't have any real rights to expect that you're going to achieve something from that. You know, I think you should go in with just a very humble I think I've used this word earlier like nature, lead with a give, like again that sense of curiosity, and I think then people start to open up much more. You know, always say, oh, you know, ask about the other person, like how can I help you, etc. Etc. And then one specific thing I'll say, especially because we spoke earlier about more introverted people too.
Speaker 2:I'm, I'm because of me, me sort of, I'd say, spectrum, me in more ways than one, um, but I'm very aware of the more introverted folks who end up being the wallflowers and the one piece of advice I give to them, which really has been sort of inspired by Rachel Rosen, who's an amazing networker, uh, and that's literally her job. She is like the best person to talk about networking it's this term called peacocking and basically dressing to stand out. So people are looking for a reason to connect, to break the ice, they're looking for a knife breaker, and so if you're more introverted and you don't feel comfortable going up to people, help them come to you. So wear something flamboyant. Um, you know I quite often will wear a bright color. Um, I've seen guys wear like sparkly blazers, like fancy bow ties. It just gives people a reason to come up and say hi, and that then puts the onus on them, not on you.
Speaker 1:I love that and it's so interesting to me because I've done so much inner work. I know that a lot of in the very beginning I used to just have so much anxiety talking to people. I used to have a lot of imposter syndrome like why am I here, am I good enough to be here? And I think it really projects in how you perform and networking in every part of your life. And I think now I had a really interesting experience.
Speaker 1:He's coming on to the podcast this season. He was the co-founder of Kayak and part of a fellowship program called SLP and he came and he spoke about mental health and I'm thinking about wow, and I was actively listening to everything he was talking about with, you know, dealing with bipolar disorder and just everything about building his business. I was so inspired by it and I we are from Boston and I go up to him. I'm like wow, like I'm also from Boston. I loved hearing your story. Thank you for sharing that. It was so brave.
Speaker 1:It shifted the conversation because I am practicing active listening and I care about people. Like that's what it comes from. It's like caring about people wanting to learn more about their story and just coming authentically and knowing that, like you're meant to be there, there's a reason you're there. You're meant to have a seat at the table and I think it comes from active listening. That's another key is like active listening, you know where's, where's the alignment and how can you bring value. And I think, no matter where you're at in your life, people love to feel understood and heard.
Speaker 2:Very true.
Speaker 1:And I know how, and from my own experience, I know how hard it is to share. You know your personal story and the biases around it, and I always love to honor people that are brave enough to share theirs. So you've seen countless founders in your community. I was really impressed. I made a great I I was able to reconnect, by the way, with someone that came to your events. It was a lot of fun for me. So your events are incredible. So what is one trait that you believe separates the ones from make it that make it and then ones that don't?
Speaker 2:as a founder, I think the broad sentiment is that they've got like grand ideas, loosely held, and so by that it's another form of saying that open minded and curious. So they have. They have the hustle, they have the drive, they have the passion, they have the founder market fit in search of product market fit. But those I think and this also leans into my um when I was doing my MBA I was doing research around, uh, startup accelerators and specifically the types of founders that were making it too, and I was hearing this time and time again it's those who really are open minded to hearing other people's perspectives, because those are then much more likely to pick up on the customer nuances, really hear what somebody is saying, as opposed to trying to force their product down their throats. And equally, you know they're more likely to pick up cues if they're looking for investors and all of that great stuff when you're coming to hire.
Speaker 2:So that, for me, is really one of the big, big things that stands out. It's not just somebody coming in trying to bulldoze over. There's sort of a theme across all these questions it's not just somebody trying to bulldoze over, and the person who has the loudest voice and the most persistent and taking the most calls is the one that's going to get it, because ultimately, those are the ones that people start backing away from. It really is those who are able to make the ask but also bring people with them and show that they value their opinion, their contributions and are able to make whatever it is. They're building stronger.
Speaker 1:Interesting. So what's really cool about, I think, like a common denominator within this conversation, is like what is holding founders back? I'm curious was there a moment and you might have already kind of started talking about that when you talked about leaving New York Times but was there an exact moment in your career where you're like I feel like I'm holding myself back? How did you step back into your power again?
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, there was the New York Times one, there was. I mean, I tend to be driven a lot by the fear of not doing something and like the fear of failure, um, and like not achieving my full potential, and so, like one example was, I was, um, I just left university, so I was much younger and I'd gone back home and, like everybody else, you know, you're trying to find a job. And then one of my best friends well, my best friend, um got a job working for a travel company and like she's an entertainer, and I was like, wow, because I'd always wanted to travel, like I'm such a traveler, but I didn't have, like in the UK and Europe and Australia as well. I think, um, you know, gap years are a really big thing. Like you think you either do it before university or after university, but you take a year out and you just travel.
Speaker 2:And I didn't have the money to do that. And so I was like, oh my god, like this is the most amazing opportunity ever. So I just got a job, but it was so boring I was like I'm just gonna pack it in. So I just I applied to be a holiday rep to go work for a travel company overseas, got the job quit and and off I went and even though I was doing something that I didn't really feel confident about like I hate sales really and a lot of it is all sales focused I just did it because that was the means to an end. So I think that was one of those really big sort of pivot points, which not I mean in some ways, I guess, entrepreneurial because you're trying to sell yourself and like bring people with you, but that was very much like a big turning point.
Speaker 1:Interesting, and you've made a lot of progress in your life. You've made a lot of strides in your life and I'm curious if you could go back in time and share anything with your younger self any words of wisdom, anything that maybe you could give for advice to your younger self. What would it be?
Speaker 2:give for advice to your younger self? What would it be? Um, so I think so. I grew up in an alcoholic family. Um, a little bit like Christelle really.
Speaker 2:I was listening to her podcast as well and it's, I think at the time you're like, oh my god, like my, my whole world is like crazy, crazy. But looking back now, I think that gave me so many skills, like I think this is where, like, a lot of my compassion and observational skills come from, because you're constantly trying to assess the environment that you're in. And so I would just say to the younger Victoria, the younger Tori, that you know it might be hard but, like you're going, these skills are going to be amazingly useful that you pick up when you get older, and it's actually going to be, in part, like one of your superpowers that you didn't know. You needed to necessarily learn them and you didn't necessarily want to be doing it that way, but actually that helps you stand out from other people, because I'm so much more aware of what an environment's like and how I can try and make it better for other people wow, and can I ask how old your inner child is?
Speaker 1:do you have one?
Speaker 2:I think I'm probably about 10 me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was the year my parents got a divorce, uh yeah really tough. That was like that was a fun year for me. Yeah, I bet. Thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate how vulnerable you were. So in in closing, what is one word? And this is going to be hard, it's hard for everyone. In one word, what is the legacy that you would like to leave behind?
Speaker 2:I can't think of the proper word, but I'm going gonna say togetherness, because I think we're just, as a human race, right now we are doing a really good job at trying to find dividers, when really we should be focusing more on bringing people together and the more that we actually spend time together with people, realizing that we are all the same. We just are different types of people. You know that the world would be so, so much better, and so I would just love it if more and more people spent time with one another, getting to know who they are, their values, that the world would be significantly better. So that would be amazing.
Speaker 1:And how cool is that? Because your business is all networking and community based. That is all coming full circle. That's all one package. That's very cool. So thank you for your time. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:This was always well likewise. Thank you for doing this, bettina, and good luck with absolutely everything.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to. I Feel you a Fortify Wellness production where we empower mind, body and soul to reach new heights. Your wellbeing is your greatest strength. Nurture it, honor it and watch yourself thrive. If today's episode inspired you, subscribe, share your thoughts in the comments and come back next week for more insights to elevate your journey. Stay empowered, stay true and remember you're not alone. I Feel you is a Fortify Wellness production. All rights reserved 2025.