I Feel You, A Fortify Wellness Production
Bettina Mahoney the Founder/CEO of @atfortifywellness is a rape survivor who started her brand after struggling to not only find a therapist, but multiple mediums to heal through her trauma. Fortify Wellness is a 360 holistic platform offering therapy, coaching, fitness, and meditation on one subscription platform. We dive deep with our trailblazing guests about overcoming adversity.
I Feel You, A Fortify Wellness Production
From Special Agent To Human Behavior: Practical Safety And Emotional Intelligence
We trade shallow advice for usable tools that build intuition, safety, and stronger relationships. Arnold shares law enforcement lessons, Bettina maps them to daily life, and together we offer simple drills to read rooms, reduce risk, and speak across behavior styles.
• Arnold's path from business to ATF after a pivotal family moment
• Undercover story and the cost of stress on family
• Faith, support, and coping under pressure
• Intuition as data and reading early danger signals
• Emotional intelligence as a skill built through practice
• Situational awareness basics for campus and work
• Social media risks, boundaries, and recovery after hacks
• Trust built through time and cultural humility
• DISC explained with practical workplace examples
• Simple drills to match pace and orientation in conversations
• Scaling healthy teams for cohesion, morale, productivity
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Connect with Arnold here: https://smallworldsolutions.net/
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**This information is not to be misconstrued as medical or psychological advice. Please contact your medical team if you have questions or concerns pertaining to your medical or psychological well-being. All of the linked products are independently selected, and curated by the fab Fortify team. If you love and buy something we link to, we may earn a commission.**
You're listening to the Fortify Wellness Podcast. I'm Bettina Mahoney, founder, survivor, and honestly, your unlicensed emotional support friend. Season 9 is here, and we're not doing surface level conversation. This is for anyone who's ever ugly cried at 3 a.m., spiraled in their own head, questioned everything, and still got up the next day. We're diving into healing that actually slaps mind, body, and soul. No fake positivity, no just journal it out advice. We're talking raw stories that kind that make you go, oh wow. Yep, same. And expert gems that actually help. And listen, we're leveling up. We've got conversations with voices who are literally changing the game. Quick disclaimer: this isn't therapy or medical advice. It's real talk, lived experience and tools you can steal to rebuild your life. So buckle up. Season nine starts now. Subscribe, log in, and let's get fortified. Look, you guys know I've been through it. I struggled to find help that actually felt like help. Therapy here, coaching there, fitness apps everywhere. It was just a mess. So I built the thing I wish existed when I was struggling. It's called the Fortify Wellness App, a 360 holistic platform that pulls it all together. Talk therapy, coaching, fitness, and meditation on one subscription. No bouncing between five logins, no, where do I even start? Think of it as a giant group hug for the version of you that's finally ready to try. The messy version, the healing version, the I want my life back version. We're live October 19th. It's happening, and I cannot wait for you to feel this. Go to www.we F O R T I F Y Wellness.com to join the wait list and subscribe to this podcast. Whatever you need to do, but let's never give up and let's get fortified. Hi, Arnold. Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you?
SPEAKER_04:I'm good. Thank you very much for having me.
SPEAKER_02:I'm so excited to have you. And we start this podcast by like ripping off the band-aid right away, which is so fun.
SPEAKER_00:No problem.
SPEAKER_02:So when you take away all of your titles, who are you at your core?
SPEAKER_04:All right. I'm just a passionate person that just wants to help others. And that's what I've done all my life.
SPEAKER_02:And where do you think that sims from?
SPEAKER_04:I really don't know. It's just uh I guess it was back in high school. It's just I always wanted to be the one to help help everybody else do do things and you know, and just live my life like that. That's probably why I got into law enforcement.
SPEAKER_02:And how do you think you evolved from that point in time in high school of wanting to help people to now? Obviously, there's been a huge evolution, but what have you learned along the way that has helped you?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, so much. Uh, you know, you can't put it on one specific thing. It's just the the reading of books and and learning how I guess it goes back to one philosophy where um if generosity is contagious. So if somebody helps you up, then you reach back to help two other people up, and they reach back to help two other people up. And and I guess I've lived my life like that.
SPEAKER_02:So you talked about being in law enforcement for many, many years.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:I know you like to give back and you're service-minded, but was there a moment in time that made you go, okay, I really want to go into this work? Was there an adversity? Was there a power shift in your brain where you're like, okay, I know I want to do this, I'm inspired to do this. What was the moment that changed your path to go into that field specifically?
SPEAKER_04:I went to school, I went to college to be a business major. I wanted to have my own business, I wanted to run my own business. That was a lifelong goal that I had. And now I'm currently doing that with Small World Solutions. Uh but the the thing happened. We we actually had a a death in the family, and everyone had to um fly to Illinois for the family burial, uh for a funeral, I guess. Um and during that time I had to, it was before GSA and all the stuff at the airports. This was, you know, I'm dating myself here, but it was way back when when you didn't have to go through security to go to the airport. You just walk into an airport and you can walk straight back to the gate. You probably you probably don't even remember times like that.
SPEAKER_00:I don't.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, it used to be like that. So I I walked back to the gate and I picked up my uncle, who uh was a was an agent. He was an IRS agent, CID. And I picked up my uncle and drive to the house where my grandmother's house was. We get out of the car, and then my my dad and my grandpa, my dad and my uncle, they you know, as soon as they see each other, they want to wrestle. So they started tesling and everything else. And then my uncle pulls out a gun from his ankle, and I was like, What? And he goes, My dad's like, All right, I give, I give. Now they were just playing, but I was like, wait a minute, where did the gun come from? I was with you the whole way. And I go, I was with you from I picked you up at the at the gate. I I walked you to the baggage claim, I picked up your bags, I carried them to the car. You've never left my site. Where did the gun come from? And he says, I'm an agent. I fly armed. And I was like, Oh my god. I was like, that was like the biggest, it was like the biggest explosion in my head. Like, oh my god, you and I would I'm a junior in college, and I all of a sudden all of a sudden said, I I want to do that. I want to be, you know, I want to be that where the person's that special on a plane that he carries the gun and and he could, you know, basically he could, you know, solve any problem in the air. And I was like, wow, I go, that's something that I, you know, that's where I want to help. That's where I want to do. So I started studying uh how to be an IRS CID agent, you know, because I did have uh a business degree and I also had a degree with um uh a second degree with uh economics. So I figured I'd I'd get into CID. Well, when I read all the stuff, and then this is like a way, like I said, way before your time, but there was a movie called The Untouchables. And when I read about the untouchables and how they were like a succinct group of individuals that couldn't be bought, and and they went after Al Capone, the most dangerous felon in the world at that time. And then I said, no, that's what I want to do. That's my that's my career path right there. So I ended up joining ATF and becoming one of the basically what they called the untouchables.
SPEAKER_02:And what was your day-to-day like in in that position? What type of work did you do?
SPEAKER_04:Well, like you said, ripping off the band-aids, I did a lot of undercover operations. And during one of my undercover operations, uh, it was actually the day that my daughter was born, was the day that I almost lost my life. Um, I was held up at gunpoint during a during a drug drug transaction uh where I was, you know, trying to you know buy um drugs from an individual. He didn't have the drugs, but he still wanted my money. So uh he ended up pulling a gun on me and putting it to my head and forcing me to strip down and and but we affected the arrest, and after he left the house, we the cover team closed in on him and we made the arrest, and he's served several years in jail. Uh, but it was the day that my daughter was born, was the day I almost lost my life.
SPEAKER_02:Wow. And I'm curious, like what support did you have? I'm sure it can feel overwhelming and and it can kind of overcome you, especially as a parent. What what tools did you have during this time of, I'm sure, high stress to help you through it?
SPEAKER_04:Well, the truth of the matter was it even get got more stressful because my supervisor at that time was blaming me for being robbed. And but the the person I turned to at that time was my mother who was a pastor. Uh she's a traveling pastor, an evangelist, uh who, you know, always prayed with me and always, you know, was my comforter and and somebody I could always turn to and you know get a good word uh from her. And so that was that was my uh, I guess that was my nurture. That's where I went back to.
SPEAKER_02:And it's interesting. We the last time we spoke, we spoke about, you know, the different ways that I guess communication, the different ways that we communicate and the types of people that we are and why we are the way that we are.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm very open about my experience surviving a trauma and then seeing the white space that existed in terms of wellness and built an app that we're launching October 19th, which is insane. But when I talk about the top, the one part I don't talk about that I actually think can be really helpful to your audience that you're reaching and my audience is there was many clues along the way that that was going to happen in retrospect. When there's danger, there's always clues, there's always um there's always signals. And I read this book called Um The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. And he says something like, if something doesn't feel right, it's because it's not. And there's so many college students that you know, there's so many college students that, you know, listen to the podcast and we're going on a college tour, and there's so much talk about safety, and it just made so much sense to have you on to give people maybe a different perspective about human behavior and awareness. So I'm curious, what's one behavior that you've noticed or seen again and again in people who have ended up in danger and didn't even realize it?
SPEAKER_04:Well, right. It goes, I think what we were talked about a lot was emotional intelligence and human behavior styles. And the fact of it here's the thing emotional intelligence is a skill and it can be learned, but you have to practice, you have to practice, you have to practice because practice makes what better. Practice makes better, you're correct. Uh because a lot of people a lot of people think that practice makes perfect, but there's nothing no such thing as that as being perfect because you can always find a way to do something better. So practice makes better, practice makes improvement. And when you talk about your own social uh awareness uh or your self-awareness, uh, those are things that that can be improved on. Uh, and it just takes practice. You just have to practice uh being social aware, being aware of your surroundings, being uh like when I walk into a room, it's just natural for me now to to picture what's going on in the room and and try to figure out what people are doing in every part of the room, so that if I do see somebody who's maybe irritated or see some something that could be a trigger point, then I can know how to stay away from that or at least put myself in a position to pay attention to it. So that would be me standing with my back against the wall so that I can see everything else that's going in front of me. You know, don't put yourself, and a lot of times people put themselves in danger because they don't recognize the other things that are going on around them. And so, like I said, uh it's something that you can do by practicing, just just be become more self-aware of your surroundings. And you know, like you said, there's intuition. If you if you see something that doesn't feel right, then move to a different location. You know, get get yourself out of harm's way. It would be the the biggest uh point I would try to make in all of that.
SPEAKER_02:And how do you practice that skill of learning people?
SPEAKER_04:Well, the first thing is is to become more self-aware and learning how to read a room. Uh find out what the emotions are in the room that you're walking into. And this could be at work, this could be in your own social life, your your own personal life. When you go to a restaurant, where are you sitting? Where are you positioning yourself to you know to make sure that you can pay attention to what's going on around you so that you know you're not putting yourself in harm's way. What I I I when I when I do a presentation and I talk about uh people judging others, you know, unconscious implicit biases. Now, here's the thing about it, we all have it, we all have unconscious implicit biases, and we're all judgmental. It's just the way we are as humans. But sometimes that judgment can be correct, and you need to put yourself in a position where that judgment, like you said, your intuition is telling you, hey, something's not right here, then believe yourself. You know, don't think, oh, well, I don't want to be looked at because I'm thinking that this person looks harmful or this, that, and the other, and say, Oh, I don't want to be judged by no, if you feel a certain way, then put yourself in a position that that protects yourself from that, you know, from that person that you think could be harmful to you.
SPEAKER_02:And I don't think my gut's ever been wrong. I like, and ever since my head is on a swivel. And leave rooms and situations that aren't a good fit. And if I'm wrong, I'd rather be wrong than in a dangerous situation.
SPEAKER_04:Look, would they say it's better to be it's better to be judged by 12 than carried by six?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, definitely. Uh no, I would I would definitely agree with that. Now, there's to in a certain extent. Um, there's so many things that we show, like we show movie, uh movie scenes where uh stuff like that happens, and and uh Sandra Bullock was in a movie and she said, Oh my god, she grabbed her husband's arm and she says, you know, she didn't feel safe. And sure enough, they got robbed. And she said, She's I saw it, I I knew it was going to happen. That was that intuition she had, but she didn't do anything about it. Because let's say if she had said, Hey, let's walk across the street, then she would have been judged by saying, Oh, we're walking across the street because we see two two black males coming towards us, you know, and she didn't want to be judged, but yet her intuition told her that something didn't feel right and she didn't follow it.
SPEAKER_02:I think also confidence, too. You know, if you don't have the confidence to go, I love myself enough to stand up for myself and boundary. I think that's a huge part of it for young people for that high school and college age demographic. It can feel you can feel insecure because you don't know who you are yet. And so to be able to stand in your power not knowing yourself can be really challenging, I think, too.
SPEAKER_04:That's true.
SPEAKER_02:So I'm curious from your perspective, obviously, social media has danger, and you know, how has it changed the way we recognize and ignore danger?
SPEAKER_04:Well, social media is a is a is a big rabbit hole, and it just goes deeper and deeper and deeper. And I guess I taught my daughter, you know, don't get caught up in social media. And matter of fact, I I I I would like for her to turn her phone off to spend some time just doing some me time or just get away and travel or get away and go go. She likes to she likes to hike. So turn your phone off, go hike, and and get away from the social media. Uh, because like I said, it's it's just a big rabbit hole and and people are just getting there's so many negative parts that are influencing there. I mean, you you use your credit card now on any social media app, next thing you know, you you're you're looking at your bank account and it's it's it's zeroed out because somebody stole your information. I mean, there's just so many different things that that happen on the on the media that and people get like you like you said, you you've been through a traumatic experience, and people can get, you know, start going down that rabbit hole and and they don't know who they're talking to because it's social media, it's so easy to be anybody else. And people have their you know, people are so brave and so but you know, beh on that computer, they're masters of that keyboard, but they're not in real life. And so you know, you can get tricked and swindled in different ways. Uh and it's it's a very dangerous, it's a very dangerous field if you're not careful about what information you're giving away and and how much you put how much trust you put into somebody who's just the only thing you know is their keyboard strokes. So you gotta you gotta watch yourself.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I agree. I remember my I don't know, it was it was a it was a few years ago. My my Instagram got hacked and it it was so invasive because they just but again I am never clicking on a random look again. I got a message from a friend I you know, I thought it was a friend, she got hacked. Look at this, and I'm like, this is weird. And I clicked on it, and all of a sudden I'm getting locked out of all of my accounts. On the upside of that, I for my personal social medias, I haven't tried to bring them back up again in in terms of like following and content. Like, I just didn't care anymore. I'm like, you know what? Maybe that was a sign I needed to not think about my social media.
SPEAKER_03:You are one in a million. You are one in a million.
SPEAKER_02:It was a blessing in disguise because at the time I'm I was bawling my eyes out. I just like I was so scared, really. I was like, who is this person? And if only people could use their gifts for good, like if you're an awesome coder developer, do something good in this world instead of hacking people's account under my name and asking people for money, it was insane.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:It was insane. So crazy. Um so I'm curious in terms of like tagging tips, um, what is what are behaviors or consistent behaviors that people ignore in terms of meeting new people, whether it's like business or whether it's dating, that is a red flag, common denominator behaviors that you see over and over and over in terms of trusting people and forming relationships with people.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. The biggest, the biggest thing is, like you said, getting into trust. And there's a there's a formula for uh cultural humility, and and that's basically the more time you spend with an individual, the more you learn about that individual, and then the more you can trust that individual. And when you trust an individual, then comes that that common uh communication where your your communication improves. But it takes time. You just like you said, you just don't trust everybody. And you just get to learn them a little bit more, know a little bit more about them, and find out that you have a lot more commonalities. And then when you find out those commonalities, that's where you bridge, bridge yourself with that individual and say, okay, well, they like movies and I like movies. And what's your what's your what's your favorite kind of movie? Comedy, or do you like that, you know, you learn a little bit more about an individual and then you can trust that little individual a little bit more? And people do business with those people they like and they trust, you know. So if if if people can do business that way, then why can't we make our friendships and make our our inner circle like that? Where it's those people that are in your inner circle are those people you trust and you like and you and you trust and you know a little bit more about them before you invite them into your inner circle.
SPEAKER_02:And when you're bringing new people into your circle, what are questions or commonality threads that you want to have in your circle to uplift you in your life? What are traits that you look for?
SPEAKER_04:Basically, what it's funny, and and I do this for a living. So so I'm looking at human behavior styles because I know how to talk with anybody with a different human behavior style. And it's funny, uh, people who don't understand human behavior styles or or haven't been trained or experienced human behavior styles, they don't understand what uh the way a person thinks. I'll give you an example. We have, and we're talking about the disc format. So so I'm I'm everything disc trained.
SPEAKER_02:Um I'm uh Can you explain what disc is for people that don't know?
SPEAKER_04:Disk is a it's your human behavior styles uh formula where it groups you into four different categories. So there's those people that are a little bit more direct, and those are people who are more dominant, and they're they're the they're the bossy type, and they want to get things done fast, and and you know, they they don't want to the fluff, they want, you know, be straight to the answers.
SPEAKER_00:Not me at all.
SPEAKER_04:All right. And then there's the I, which is also uh fast paced, and they wanna they're very outgoing and they're inspiring, and and they're they want to be the influencer, they're the ones that are always at the party. And if you want to have a party, you get an I to do it because they're gonna they're the ones that's gonna make sure that the clown is there, they're gonna make sure that you have we have all the cake, we have all the ice cream, we have all the treats, we have all the meals, and and they're gonna make sure that everything is done particularly perfect for that for that outing. Reason wing is because they like to interact with other people. So the I is the influencer, interactive and they're they're inspiring and and they like to tell stories, all right. And then you move to the S category, which is the steady person. And that's these individuals are comforters, these are your supportive person. You start with the S as you say supportive, uh, they're very steady. Um they they they're the ones that are good that give you the shirt off their back, you know, because they want to make sure that you're okay. They're they're more involved in the feeling aspect, they they're people oriented, they're they're um, like I said, the biggest word for them would be supportive. If you think of a per individual who's very supportive, that's that's an S style. And then the last one is the C style. And the C style is they're they're very methodical, and they're very um cautious, they're calculating, they're the ones the individuals that want to um uh they're the individuals that want to be perfectionists, you know, they don't want, you know, the fluffness, they want statistics, they want facts, they want to, you know, they want to live in that lifestyle. They don't want to repeat anything. They're their their biggest problem is those individuals who who are laxadaisical and don't follow the rules and and that turns them off. So there's this this formula of that it's called this, D-I-S-N-C. So you fit into one of these categories, but you also have traits of every single one of the categories. And that's a lot of problems problems that people have is they think, oh, well, I'm a D, and this is that it's not a diagnosis. What it is, is a it's a dialogue for for communication, it's a dialogue for context. So if I'm a like like you said, you're not a D, but I am. I'm a D and I'm also a high. So so for me, and I was getting back to the story of a situation we have at and I do our community services outreach for our church, and we we do a uh we do uh food distribution. We work with second harvest and we we give out food. Well, I have an individual, uh a lady who who wants to do everything perfect. You give her a set of directions, and she'll say, Arnell said to do it this way, and she's boom, she's off, she's doing it, she's doing it. But if you interrupt her, she throws a spasm. And everybody's like, Well, why I don't understand why she keeps doing that? Why she keep yelling at me? And I go, look, I go first and foremost, I go, for you guys to don't understand. She's a C style. I go, what she wants is clear direction and then let her let's let her go, just let her be, because that's where she's in her comfort zone. So you if she know if she knows A, B, C, and D, she's gonna do A, B, C, and D. But if you interrupt her and you say, hey, uh, she starts with A and you say, Hey, jump to D, and that throws her off. And then she'll start yelling and screaming and everything. And so everybody's like, Well, how do you deal? I don't know how do you deal with that? Well, I know her personality style. So what I do is I just talk to her language. I'll give her some facts and give her some statistics and say, hey, this is the and then you be the perfectionist at what you do, and you do it your way. And so now she gets the boxes, she tears down the trash, she does this, she does that, but everybody just leaves her alone and everything is perfect. And she's the hardest working person in our food drive. So you have to just learn their personality styles so that people can do their best job. You have to inspire. My my job with Small World Solutions is to find ways to inspire others to do the things that they want to do or to be better at what they do, and that's one of the things that we we teach is um if you learn human behavior styles, if you learn disk, then you understand that people react and do things according to their behavior styles.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, and I have had to learn how to not predict behavior, but recognize the way that I think people are going to respond. I never used to be very good at it. It was like really, really challenging. Once I kind of understood that and I was a psych major and I went through my own stuff. And I think once you go through your own life experiences and you get it a little bit more worldly, you get have a lot more empathy for people. I just know that people go through challenging experiences, and most of the time I don't take much personally. I mean, of course, I I am a human and I'm flawed, but for the most part, I try to think of what the other person must be feeling and going through, and try to work with them on it with Fortify in my personal life. It can be tougher with family, to be honest with you, but I work on it. Um, but I I think it's kind of like a superhero power to be able to do that. And unfortunately, um, you know, Gen Z and the younger generation, I think because of technology, struggles with that like a lot. And this is something I'm trying to teach my incredible intern. She goes NYU, she's amazing, how to do because it's such a superhero power and it can make your life so much easier. I think with technology, I don't know if you agree, technology makes it a lot harder.
SPEAKER_04:I won't say that technology makes it a lot harder. I think that I think that technology decreases the amount of interaction we have with individuals. It decreases the uh the amount of communication that we actually have because people would rather be on their phones than having sitting down having a general conversation. I I'm not one way or the other. I I would prefer that people would communicate more and learn more about individuals. Um, that social networking needs to come back into play. So I think technology decreases that.
SPEAKER_02:It's interesting, and and I learned this from a friend of mine because I would ask him questions about certain business partnerships or whatever we were doing. I I mean, I developers, the whole thing, conflict happens. Your whole company is about managing conflict. And so he would teach me on how to think about people by asking me questions like, what do you think they're gonna say if you say this? Like all the things. And then so I built this habit of going, okay, how is this person going to respond to this because this is their personality style, or they commuted this way, and they're actually just X, Y, Z feeling a certain type of way because people reveal a lot about themselves just by that's why I asked that first question. Who are you when you take away all of your titles? And my dad taught me as a trial lawyer, you ask someone an open ended question, they just kind of tell on themselves. They just kind of blurt it all out. And so I do that just to learn more about people for many different reasons because I want to be a better person myself. And I want to be a better person to other people. And there's this other side of obviously the business side. And then in my personal life or to feel safe. Um, so in terms of and and I might be a little bit of the, is it the C? What's the what's in this that's very, I need to know steps and stats and all of the things.
SPEAKER_00:Let's see.
SPEAKER_02:Let's see. Okay. What are like okay, what are like three concrete ways that a college-age student can like learn this behavior? Because I was lucky enough that I learned from a friend. Most people don't really have a mentor or someone to like quote unquote practice with. Like, what's the first what are like three steps to practice this type of behavior in real life?
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Well, well, first and foremost, you're you you're you study psychology.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So you you have an advantage over most people because you you understand the the way the brain works a little bit. So so when it comes to human behavior styles, you you uh you understand and can articulate why people do certain things. For the common person, human behavior styles is is is something that they never never think about. You know, my if I talk to my brother about right now and I said, Hey, uh, what what kind of human behavior style is that person? My brother would just look at me with a question mark, like, what are you talking about? So I guess the easiest way, and and disc makes it so simple. Um, you you there's so many different human behavior uh tests and assessments that you can take, and they'll give you, and pretty much they all pretty much say the same thing, but in different ways. Like the Briggs is is definitely it's complicated if you're not familiar with it. This is something that's very simple, but yet very I I just did a uh course with um with a school here lately, and I had everybody get up and I said, okay, those individuals who are are you know a little bit outgoing and and you know want to be a little bit fast oriented and uh or you know, just fast-paced and and stuff, move to the move to the front of the room. And I go, those individuals who feel like they're more methodical and they want to take their time, they're a little bit slower paced and stuff, and making decisions, move to the back room. And then most people move to the front or the back. And then there's people that stay in the center, and they're like, Well, uh uh it depends on the situation. And I go, that's good, because that's the truth of the matter, is the fact that this doesn't put paint you into one particular group, it doesn't pigeonhole you into one group, it allows you to be a little bit of anything and everything. So if you don't feel like you're fast-paced or slower paced, then yes, stay in the middle. And then I take the fast-paced group and the slower-paced group individually, and I'll say, okay, those people who are more task-oriented, um, you move to this side, and those people who are more people-oriented, you move to this side. And what people say, what do you mean by that? I go, well, if if it came down to it, are you more worried about getting the job done, or are you more worried about how everybody feels about getting the job done? And they said, Okay, well, I'd move this way, I'd move this way. And I go, once again, it doesn't, this isn't determined. So what I did was I put everybody in their groups, and then I gave them a piece of paper, or not a piece of paper, I gave them a I gave them a little notepad, like, and I had it in different colors because disc is like there's also colors associated with it. And another human behavior is assessment uses colors instead of the words. So disc is the D is the green, the I is the red, the blue is the S, the yellow is the C, right? So I gave them colored notepads for those things. And I said, okay, now I want you to go around in your group and write down the words, write down the words that best describe you, kind of like what you did. How do you feel about yourself? What is one word that best describes you? And if you have two, give us two. So they would go through and they would write down these all these words in each group. And then so when I said, you know, and the people that were in the middle, I said, just where do where do you lean more towards? They lean towards the way, then go over to that group and just just contribute to that group. And they found out that every single group had words that described their their human behavior style. Like all the D's had dominant, they had they had uh like being the boss, they want to, they want to be in charge, they like challenges, they like, and it described the D personality. And then the I's were like this. And so now everybody says they feel comfortable where they're standing. And I was like, okay, so if I were to say um uh for the D's, I would say it's something like because they they hate people who are indecisive and they don't like individuals who not that they don't like individuals, they they don't like indecision indecision. They they want, you know, they want the facts, they want to make a decision, they want this.
SPEAKER_02:And then when you don't get to make a decision, let's go.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, exactly, exactly. So when you don't, when somebody goes to a restaurant and I go, so how do you feel about an individual who goes to the restaurant and be like, uh, I think I want um no, I I I well, how is how is this? Okay, well, what about the and uh and a D is sitting there going, just you know, we're at McDonald's, the menu hasn't changed. And everybody in the D was just laughing, and they're like, they go, exactly, exactly. And I was like, I go, so because that's a human behavior style. It's where you're comfortable, it's where you fit majority of the time in your life. Now, mind you, every one of the D's, the I's and the Cs will become an S if you're at a funeral. Who's gonna talk loud? That I is not gonna be, you know, because he he's at a funeral. So he's gonna change to a whisper, he's gonna speak a little bit slower, he's gonna, you know, be more thoughtful about how people feel. And hey, are you okay? How are you know, how are you doing? How are you getting along? And they're gonna be that S style. So, like I said, we all have it in us to be any one of the characteristics. It depends on where we feel most comfortable, is where we usually originate and go back to. So that's an easy way of not pigeonholing, but putting somebody in a little bit of an area where you can think that, hey, now you can speak their language. You find out if they're either fast-paced or if they're more methodical and slower paced, if they're more people-oriented or if they're more task-oriented. So if you can put them in the one of those, say, hey, this person's fast-paced, but they're more people-oriented than they are task-oriented, they're probably in that eye category. So now you know how to speak to them in ways that they that they want to feel more comfortable. And and it makes it a little bit, like I said, it makes it simple for the common and uh a common person who doesn't have the training or the knowledge to know, but they can say, okay, well, I see that that works now.
SPEAKER_02:And it empowers you in a way because you're like, okay, well, Sally's gonna take forever to choose what she's gonna get at McDonald's. She's always gonna get the happy meal, but she's gonna take her time, let her take her time. And then it puts the power back in you. It's like the overused, dare I say, the Mel Robbins let them let me theory, right? You're like, what let them take an hour to decide what they want at McDonald's. I'm gonna get the chicken nuggets and let's just make a decision. And that's great in your personal life and your professional life, because it allows you to just like release all it used to make me really angry when people um when in those types of situations, not angry, but frustrated. Um, and when you're young, like when I was younger and I didn't have more life experience, I've been around the block a couple more times than I was when I was a college student. And I think college students that age will go, okay, well, this person, this S or this C that takes a while to make a decision about going to the mall with me on Saturday, they must not like me. And then they they break it down like I'm not worthy, da-da-da-da-da. But when you understand this type of style, and I like disc, it's very simple. Myers Briggs, I was an ENFJ, but I didn't want to read through a whole book of what I am. I don't want to do that. So I don't fully understand ENFJ. I know them more in extroverted, whatever, but this is so simple for everyone. But when you understand, like, okay, this person needs to think this through, you're like, okay, this is not about me. It's their style. And then you take it less personally and you put the power back in your seat. Because I think a D style likes feeling um not in control, but leader. And so to have that kind of mindset of let let Sally take her hour to decide what she wants to do, it's not about me. Um, I think is is super simple and a great way for young people to practice and dare I say, go out into the world and have a conversation with someone face to face. So I that that's something that I wish I'm lucky that I learned now. I wish I learned a lot earlier. Um, I think it comes with just life experience and gaining that confidence and asking questions. But once I did learn it, and I'm not perfect at it, I don't think anyone fully is. As we said, we get better and better at it. It's a it's a skill set that you have to learn. I did not, I was not born on this planet with that skill set at all. It was really tough for me to understand behavior.
SPEAKER_04:Just some real quick practice, practice, practice because practice makes better. Practice makes better. And it's a simple in in small world solutions, we have small, simple life lessons. And one of my simple life lessons is if you practice, you will improve. If you don't, you won't. That's simple.
SPEAKER_02:Very simple. I agree. And we need it, we need to have that skill set in 2025 and beyond. I, you know, I think it's it's very, very vital for so many different reasons for yourself, for just your surroundings, and to live a really fulfilled life. So thank you for joining me. And how can our listeners follow your work and support the mission and what you're building now?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, we're we're live on uh LinkedIn and Facebook, and we also have a YouTube channel where we have a we have our podcast, which is uh, and our podcast is based on uh HR. We're trying to help HR and people because HR is the ones that were are the people people. Uh your your they're in charge of trying to help the people manage the people and and they're build what you know they spend 50% of their time dealing with people problems. So how do we how do we fix that? How do we help solve that? And small world solutions is and the reason why I name my business small world, name a time where you've said use the word small world.
SPEAKER_02:It's it gets smaller and smaller the older.
SPEAKER_04:The thing about it is every time somebody says, Man, it's a small world, what do they mean by that?
SPEAKER_02:I mean, we're so connected in ways that really surprise us.
SPEAKER_04:Right, exactly. So, so you'll hear it all the time, people saying it's a small world. And usually they're saying that because now they figured out, oh my God, we're we're connected, you know, with so many different people in so many different ways. So our goal in Small World Solutions is how do we change the world, you know, because and if you think, and like Henry Ford said, if you think you can, you you're right. If you think you can't, you're right. So we think we can change the world. So our motto is how do we change the world? And it's one person at a time, one organization at a time, one city at a time, one state at a time, one country at a time. And we'll find out that over tall, if everybody has that same goal and same mission, if I teach, let them teach. And we use a lot of Jim Quick. I don't know if you're familiar with Jim Quick. Uh, he does a lot of brain training. Uh as a psychologist, you might want to you might want to listen listen to his podcast or or or Google him. And it's KW I K. Because he talks about how people train the brain, and he has a thing called FAST where you you just F-A-S-T, where you just forget what you already know about something, and then you be active and trying to learn it. That's the A. And then the S is your state state. If you believe you can, or if you believe you can't, you're right. So you have to be willing to understand that you you can achieve it. And then the last thing is to teach it. Once you've learned something, teach somebody else. And that's our whole thing. If we teach somebody disc, then they learn it, then they can teach somebody else. Like just like you said, a friend taught you some things about disk, and now you can teach somebody else about this. You're teaching your intern. Now your intern can take it and teach somebody else. And through that, it's a small world.
SPEAKER_02:We need that. And I think like as you're expressing this, when I think about like a larger um organize organization, they need that because I think of my partners in finance, and he's more of a math guy. He's like behind, he likes to do the math, and he likes to just be his head to the laptop doing the math, and he's a little bit quieter. I'm not the person that's like saying to him, Hey, this person's thinking this way, so maybe communicate this way, you know what I mean? So he's the math guy. I'm like the person that helps him understand what people are saying, and you know, it helps him. But big organizations need that because they for they're so obviously goal-oriented, we need this done by this time. But if you understood where everyone was or whatever in the kitchen, you're gonna have your bottom line is gonna do so much better because you're gonna utilize their skill sets to the highest power, and then you're gonna have higher productivity versus not understanding or having empathy for how people are thinking and feeling, and then you're holding the team back. So you really are you're doing some tough work. So good for you.
SPEAKER_04:Our our motto is we want to increase your team cohesion, boost your employee morale, and all of that is the return on investment, is your higher productivity.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, you need that. And and people, the I mean, startup world's a little bit different. I'm in startup world, but for the big organizations, they they need it. They need that.
SPEAKER_04:You know, we're trying to get there to help them.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So thank you for your time. This was amazing. Thank you so much for this.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you for listening to the Fortify Wellness Pod, where we empower mind, body, and soul to reach new heights. Your well-being is your greatest strength. Nurture it, honor it, and watch yourself thrive. If today's episode inspired you, subscribe, share your thoughts in the comments, and come back next week for more insights to elevate your journey. Stay empowered, stay true, and remember you're not alone. This is a Fortify Wellness production, all rights reserved 2025.