071: Codependency

Technical/Psychological Definition:
Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern in which individuals develop an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another person, often to the detriment of their own well-being. It is commonly associated with relationships where one person enables another's addiction, poor mental health, or irresponsibility, and it often stems from early attachment issues, trauma, or dysfunctional family dynamics.

Layman’s Definition:
Codependency is when someone puts other people's needs ahead of their own so much that they lose themselves. They might feel responsible for fixing others' problems, struggle to say no, and have a hard time knowing what they truly want or need.

Where it begins: Childhood experiences and family dynamics (e.g., emotionally unavailable or unpredictable caregivers, growing up in an environment of addiction, neglect, or enmeshment)

Cultural and societal factors that reinforce self-sacrifice and people-pleasing

Indicators (Set Boundaries, Find Peace)

When Emotionally Flooded: We will respond with Fight, Flight, Freeze reactions when boundaries are challenged. Being flooded or emotionally overwhelmed can keep the cycles going. 

• It is important to recognize and manage emotional flooding to regain clarity.

Skills & Tools for Change

• Learning self-awareness and self-compassion
• Practicing assertive communication
• Mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques
• Building self-worth independent of external validation

 Establishing Healthy Boundaries

• Identifying personal limits and needs
• How to say “no” without guilt
• Recognizing manipulative tactics and holding firm boundaries
• Developing interdependence instead of codependence (What is INTERDEPENDENCE?)

Interdependence fosters secure attachment, mutual respect, and personal growth within relationships. It allows people to have mutually benefitting relationships without losing who they are individually.