Broken to Brave | Guiding you to heal & break free from anxiety

Discovering Bravery and Purpose with Kayla Wonisch

• Dr. Stephanie Lopez • Episode 8

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Have you ever felt stuck in your life, overwhelmed with limiting beliefs and fear, and unsure of how to break free? Join me as I chat with the incredible Kayla Wanish, who transformed her life in just five years, going from a Starbucks barista to becoming a certified yoga teacher, meditation instructor, and licensed human element practitioner. 

Discover how she overcame her limiting beliefs and fears, and how her growth in self-awareness, self-accountability, and self-acceptance changed her personal and professional life forever.

During our conversation, Kayla and I explore her journey to self-awareness and growth, including her shift away from the "helper" defense mechanism and her newfound trust in her intuition, boundaries, and values. We discuss how she discovered the world wasn't as scary as she thought it was and how she has learned to bounce back quickly from negative mindsets. This heartening chat is a powerful reminder of the potential for growth and transformation in all of us.

To wrap up, we delve into how Kayla's self-awareness journey has impacted her personal and professional life, and how she now connects with others through yoga and her work with Bravcation. 

Don't miss this inspiring conversation filled with lessons on how to take control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions, and transform your life just like Kayla did.

You can connect with Kayla on Instagram @kaylawonisch

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Speaker 1:

Hi, i'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are, in fact, not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast.

Speaker 1:

Hello everybody, i have Kayla Wanish on the podcast with me today And I am so excited to share you with her. I met her gosh. What year was it, kayla? 2015? 2017, yeah, right, before you got pregnant, 2017. Okay, I was thinking 2015,. So I dated her, all right. So I met Kayla through a consulting company that I used to work with and fell in love with her immediately. Since we've grown closer over the years and I've been inspired by her personal journey and her professional growth, and I can't wait to share her with you. So, kayla, tell us a little bit about who you are.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so yep, like you mentioned, we met working at the former consultancy. I also fell in love with you. I actually remember the first thing we said at the same time to each other was we're both tall, we're at the same size And, yeah, for the last five years or so, i've really grown from, like you know, i started as like a personal assistant And so I went from literally picking up whole food orders and cleaning an apartment to running an organization. So I feel like over the last five years I've grown so much. I've learned so many, both like on like an operational side, i've become a really good project manager, i've become a really good operations manager And then, on the flip side, i've learned so much about the human brain and therefore my brain, and I've just watched myself kind of evolve to all of these things.

Speaker 2:

So now I am a certified yoga teacher and a certified meditation teacher. I actually now co-facilitate and teach other teachers how to be yoga teachers, which is really fun. I work with the community now I do a lot of stuff with Luba Lemon and my studio, warrior One, and then I'm also a certified coach as of last month, which is very exciting. I've been coaching clients for almost a year now and it's been a great time. And then, lastly, just like you, i'm a licensed human element practitioner. So a lot of the work that I experienced when I first joined the consultancy is now the work that I get to share, you know, not even with clients, but, like with the people I love and also with the local community at the yoga studio, and so I just I don't recognize the former version of myself because I'm like, oh wow, she would think I'm pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

Mind-blowing. I feel like we just need to pause here. In five years The growth is freaking, astonishing. Like just I knew these things, but like hearing you say it out loud and list it, i'm like, holy smokes, what a freaking badass Like, what a badass Wow.

Speaker 2:

It's so surreal to think about Like, and when I see other young women and positions that I was in, i'm like I get fired up. I'm like, no, you can change it, like you can do. You can do so much to take full control of your life.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I have goosebumps, Okay. And so I know that a huge contributor toward your growth was some work around self-awareness, self-accountability, self-acceptance, And so I can't wait to talk about that in a bit. But just to give everybody listening some context of where you came from, can you share more about your personal journey?

Speaker 2:

you know how we're let's say like five years prior to now, and before now Oh my gosh, Yeah, Five years prior. So I was before I started working here. I was a Starbucks barista Everyone's favorite Starbucks barista though I was a therapist.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I was a coach. Before I was a coach, i was a therapist before I was thinking about it And I worked at Starbucks. I worked at Starbucks for five years. I managed a store downtown I live in downtown Orlando, by the way, and it's so funny. Some of the things I remember about myself from back then I just was so emotionally charged. I was so like I like to say one way I rate my self-awareness journey is my road rage.

Speaker 1:

Like I was just like so fired up by everything and everyone.

Speaker 2:

Like I thought it was so funny. I thought everything was an attack on me.

Speaker 2:

You know, so that's how I swam through life. Like when I went through I was so terrified to leave Starbucks because I was convinced that because I didn't have a degree or because I didn't have like X, y and Z, that I would never be successful. We'd stuck at Starbucks forever. And I moved to this really weird, really strange uniformed Taylor company that only serviced law enforcement, which was incredibly draining. Our direct competition was the prison, who was making clothes at a much lower rate, and so like, just like being in that, that as a black woman, like being in that environment, being around that, and I so quickly moved from like entry level job to managing like 50 accounts.

Speaker 2:

Like it might have taken two months And I realized I was like oh, i'm not stupid, i'm not stupid And I needed to have that kind of awareness to be like oh, i'm not okay, i'm capable of a little more than I thought.

Speaker 1:

I'm capable of a little more than I thought. Say a little bit more about that. You had these moments where you're like I you didn't feel like smart or capable.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, i just felt I had so many messages growing up that my success was an accident, or I wasn't actually as smart as I thought I was, or I wasn't going to achieve or kind of hit the markers I wanted to hit because, you know, when I was trying to go to school, it was just this very long story, short, tumultuous thing, with my parents just like not filling out the proper paperwork in order for me to get like FAFSA, which impacted how I got scholarships, which impacted So like.

Speaker 2:

I just had, like month after month, year after year, all of these stories building up, like I'm never going to succeed in the life that I want to succeed, and because the way that, like the very boxed in way that I was thinking about, it wasn't panning out And so I was like, oh, i'm in a family failure. Oh, everything points to failure, gosh, and I think that's what started to unhook and shift.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and I'm sure to some extent, others listening today can relate to that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like a lot of stories around what I might be capable based on what I know about myself. Now It's like that's just a small. It's a small fraction of what's about to come.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, as you think about I just OK, i need to pause more because I'm just like blowing through this, but, yes, that is just a small fraction. Like, really looking at where you are today, it can seem mind blowing and it is so possible, and that's what I want everybody to know when they're listening. Like, even if you have these feelings of like, oh, i don't feel like I'm capable enough, or sometimes I feel broken, or sometimes I have these reactions that I don't want to Like, none of that has to predict where you are six months from now, a year from now, five years from now.

Speaker 1:

So, Kayla, is there anything else that you want to share, just historically. So this is the broken to brave podcast. Not that any woman is broken, but has these feelings. Can you relate to that at all?

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely. I fundamentally thought I was broken, like I thought something was wrong And I remember just feeling like super depressed. I really resonated with depression back then. I used to have frequent panic attacks, anxiety attacks. I can't even remember the last time I had a panic attack, like they used to be so frequent and I was getting so worked up And I just felt I think the biggest thing I felt was so unsure and so untrusting of myself that I wasn't able to kind of see the light of day, if that makes sense. Like I couldn't get excited about things, i wasn't motivated to do things, like I was just so scared. I was scared of everything.

Speaker 2:

I used to be saying this yesterday with my friend I used to be such an anxious person that I wouldn't go to a new restaurant if I didn't know how the parking worked. Like I was like I can't do all that You know. Like I can't walk into somewhere new and order off of a menu. That's crazy. Like my anxiety was so high Or the story in my head was that everyone was going to laugh at me or everyone was going to find out that I was stupid or something.

Speaker 2:

And so I feel like with this work and I remember the first shift I had that I was like, oh, it sounds so silly, oh, i don't have to do this, i don't have to do it this way, and it was just such a and I can't explain how it felt, but it was like a little lock hit my brain a little Like I was like oh, i don't have to do this, i can just, i can love myself or I can figure out what's going on, or I can, you know. And that's where, like you mentioned, the self awareness, self accountability and self acceptance, like once I really started to think about that and apply that to myself. I started to see it everywhere And it just like. It was like if all the cards were shuffled before, like they got like put back in a deck and put together and put neatly, and I was like, okay, I can do this, i can do this.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. Yes, i love that so much, so much, gosh. There was something that you said, that I had a question pop in my head. I should have jotted it down, because now I lost it, but I didn't know some of these things about you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, i know do you relate, Did you at that time? because I've heard a lot of people say this I'm just, and then fill in the blank I'm just an anxious person, I'm just a worrier, I'm just. Whatever you wanna put in that blank. Is that how you felt up until this personal development journey?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh yeah. It was chock full of labels. I didn't even realize how much it was labeling myself, but I think I was a lot of. It was. I'm just like this Yeah, a lot with. I have a hard time focusing at something I've gotten a lot better with, but it was just like I'm just not like that. My brain doesn't work that way, so I'm just not gonna do that. Like it was very much like like assigning things off before I even got started, because I was just like oh.

Speaker 2:

I'm not the kind of person who works out. I'm not the kind of person who does this. I'm not like I just had so many barriers on myself that I didn't like I didn't realize weren't my own. I think the most impactful thing I learned was is that voice in your head that's like telling you what you can and can't do? is it even yours? And the first time I heard that I was like oh fuck, that's my dad's voice And I don't listen to him like consciously. So why would I listen to him so consciously?

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I love adding the phrase after I have these limiting beliefs, which I think is what you're sharing, pop up, then I'll say now I say according to whom To give insight of like. okay, yeah, whose voice is that? Where did I pick up on that messaging? When did I start believing that? Because we didn't come out of the womb believing all these awful things about ourselves.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, exactly, i had to write that down Like according to whom, who was that?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, okay. So anything else before, like about how you were feeling what happened, but leading into your personal development journey.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, i think one of the biggest ahas I had about how I used to view the world. I realized this when we did the five day human element in 20, that must have been 2018. In January, we did this exercise and I could even. It was some sort of imagery or some sort of like windback where I realized, at every phase of my life I was terrified of people.

Speaker 2:

So when I was a kid, i was terrified of other kids. When I was in middle school, i was terrified of other middle schoolers. When I was in high school, i was afraid of other high schoolers. And then, all the while being afraid of adults, because, like, i was always afraid of like getting in trouble or getting caught or doing like something wrong. And so what I realized when I did that workshop is, oh my gosh, i am terrified of everybody. And if I am walking around this world so afraid I am not gonna, i'm not gonna get anything done, like I'm just going to, you know, stay right here. And so I I thought was kind of my journey to kind of unhook and how can I be less afraid here and here and here? And I realized that the world isn't the scary place that I made it. It is actually much kinder. And when I think, allow myself to see we we like, we find what we look for right.

Speaker 2:

So I'm going to look for proof that I'm worthless. That is all I'm gonna find.

Speaker 1:

That's all the world's going to give me that Cause.

Speaker 2:

I'm like yeah you're worthless, here you go. Here's another example. Here's another example. But if I can, you know, believe and look for instances where the world is kind or where I'm competent, or you know, like, whatever that is, that is what I'll see. And so I started to realize that it's still a journey. I would love to say it was like a light switch And I was like I realized this and my life was better, like I still, you know, kind of sink back into those negative mindsets sometimes.

Speaker 1:

But how quickly I get out of it now is just yeah, cause I'm human, Gosh darn it. Damn, why How?

Speaker 2:

quickly you get out of it. Yeah, yeah, it's so much shorter Like. So now, instead of being sat for three days, i'm sat for like 30 minutes, and then I get out and then do with my, do my thing.

Speaker 1:

So Yes, i feel like that's worth highlighting. Instead of being sad for three days, i'm sad for 30 minutes. If you, listening, have ever had trouble letting go of things afterwards like this is the work. the inner work is the key to be able to bounce back quickly and to be flexible in that way. I did have a question, pop up Kayla. When you said I was terrified, just in case anybody was unsure like what you were, like what you meant by that. what were some of the thoughts or fears? Yeah, that feeling.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, i think it was. you know, i think the word terrified probably comes up because, you know, when I was a, when I was a child, the form of you know you did something wrong was just like punishment. You know it was. It was like getting. It's so ridiculous to think of now as a grown adult yelling at me as a grown adult, and so like to yell at a kid or to yell at someone so tiny that has no perception of how this world works.

Speaker 2:

I think I like grew this story that, oh, if I do something wrong and that something wrong was such a loose definition the translation was I'm going to get in trouble or I'm going to get judged, and so I was terrified of one of the other, like of either someone judging me and I'm like not being able to recover or cope, and or, even worse, someone you know I'm in trouble, like someone's yelling at me. And so I think that's where like terrified came out, because I'm just like I was so scared and I used to be very like chameleon, like like I would just mold to whatever the room needed me to be, so I could not necessarily blend in, but not, um, yeah, just so I could stay safe just so I could stay, and staying safe was not having me live my life appropriately or the way I wanted to.

Speaker 1:

Wow, thank you for sharing that. I think like hearing more. I can totally relate and like picturing you as the tiny little girl, too, being yelled at and um. I bet you did. Yeah, it's just little tiny, kayla, she's so cute um yeah, just the way that you worded that, i thought like, like really touched me. You know, i, i think forget what you said like a, a kid who doesn't even understand how the world works.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and it's like oh, if I do something wrong, like I'm gonna fuck like what do I do you?

Speaker 2:

know how do I process that. And then it took me many years to realize and to forgive and to be like, oh duh, those people that were yelling at me were also human and they didn't know what to do. Right, but without this work I would have never gotten to that point. I could still be resentful, i could still be sad, i could still be making everything that's happening in the world about me when, oh, thank god, it's actually not, thank god.

Speaker 1:

So let's take away into that. Tell me more about you, know you did in the beginning, but like where you are now emotionally, how you feel about yourself, how you view the world, like, paint that picture for us because, honestly, like, as I've been listening to your journey, you know what popped in my head quantum leap over the last five years.

Speaker 2:

Yeah it, it's definitely felt like a quantum leap. I think I um, i think one of the things I noticed was I kind of let all these things become normal for me, like I kind of got jumped into this, this job, and I was just so fascinated by, um, the kind of work that you and the other coaches were teaching people. I was like, yeah, what wait? what's going on? um, and I think the first thing that really um had a huge impact on me was when I learned that that model of how you feel about yourself impacts how you feel about the world and, um, how you feel about the world impacts your behavior. And it was like light bulbs firing. I think it had to be kind of instantly. You know I've had a couple of instances that I think that's why it felt so quantum, like why I was able to go so far with some of the work, because I think instantly I had so much compassion for everyone.

Speaker 1:

I was like yes, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

I was like so, first of all, it's not just me. Second of all, every single person that has ever gotten upset with me was reacting to their own stuff. And it doesn't mean I didn't do something like right, it doesn't mean that, like it, i wasn't a part of it. So it's not to like take myself away from it, but there's so much not being said. And it just like motivated me because I thought I knew how the world was and I thought there were some people you needed to avoid and some people were cool. And you know, you just stay with the people that you feel good around.

Speaker 2:

And now I realized, like everyone, every single person is human. It sounds so silly. Every single person is human. Every single person is a great of something. Yeah, and and those fears drive their behavior. And once I realize that your fears are your behavior, i'm like oh, we're good, we're good someone. If someone comes at me, it's not necessarily like oh, i'm fine, i can brush it off, but I know and like internally, oh, that's not about me you know, and I can work with this person to solve it, but I, it's not my responsibility, it's not my like.

Speaker 2:

I can't put on everybody's stuff and try to carry it.

Speaker 1:

That's just not gonna work, and so which is what you use to do right about the world.

Speaker 2:

Oh, oh yeah, oh, you have a problem with me, let me fix it. Let me put it in my backpack and try to like carry it down. I really resonated with the um, the helper defense mechanism, like oh, let me, let me just jump in like the helper and the victim. I was both like. I was like I'm a victim of everything and I'm gonna help you with everything, um, and and I I think I just started to unhook those and now when I view the world, i just I view it more fully, like compassionately, like I'm just like, oh, we're all, we're all just kind of swimming in this and this thing. And then, when it comes to me, i um on my good days, you know, because you know, like you said earlier, i'm still human, like I'm still gonna like dip same and so dang it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right I'm like dang it.

Speaker 2:

But on my good days I'm so like, like I radiate at this level of connection, like I'm like I just feel connected to everybody. I feel very, um, i'm more able to trust myself, um with, like my intuition, my boundaries, my guts, like I just have more of like an awareness of what's okay and not okay with me, and, um, i think that was. Another big tool that helped me was, um doing like a values exercise, i think it was, and realizing what my values were and what I thought my values were, and I was like, oh cool, i like my values and and then when I'm living against those values, i'm living against. You know, my number one value and it's still true is inner harmony.

Speaker 2:

So and that became my number one value. It was so much easier to say yes and no to things.

Speaker 2:

It was so much easier to go like, oh, i'm not gonna do that. And it's not like, oh, i can't do that, i'm so sorry. Like um, please don't be mad at me which was the old version of myself, that's right. Oh, i, i'm not gonna do that period stop first of all. Just gonna do that period period. At the end of the sentence um, and the craziest thing that happened and I and I really feel for people that um start their self-awareness journey and this happens to them. But I actually lost a lot of people in my life and it sounds like a negative, but I lost a lot. I was still friends with all my. That's another miracle. I started this work when I was 24. Like I'm so blessed to have kind of get into this space when I was so young. So at the time I was still friends with a lot of my high school friends and they were not having self-awareness, kayla. They were not having no longer a doormat, kayla. Like they were upset, right because I had been a doormat for 10 years.

Speaker 2:

I had done everything for everyone for so many years and it wasn't even like, um, i started studying batteries and they gave me attitude or anything like that. It was just like this slow shift to realizing like, oh, these people just aren't my people. And the craziest thing that happened was It was like a revolving door, as those people sort of just booting out of my life like amazing people started funneling it and I was just like Cool, i can keep up with this, i can do this, and and it just made it so

Speaker 1:

worth it, and so Yeah, anybody that has fears around doing the work, because what if I lose those closest to me? I feel like You've given some hope, like actually, oh yeah, you People came in. you made space for people to come in who were really aligned with being on the journey, which I interpret as then you didn't feel as alone on the journey.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, i was sharing a lot of the things I had learned with people that were currently in my life And I didn't learn until later that they were taking every single one of those shares as an attack. I have no idea, because I was like look at what I learned about defenses, look at what I learned about this. Like, look at what I learned about being open. Like, look, like, look, look, look, this is so cool. And they were like so you're telling me that I suck? and I'm like, no, not at all, not at all. I'm telling you that there's an opportunity for something better.

Speaker 2:

Um, yes, and I really think that When I kept true to myself and I was like, no, again, lining myself to my values, like this is what, this is what really drives me, people that were more aligned with that, naturally not even me having to, like, teach them anything or show them anything. They were naturally interested in the kind of stuff that I was doing, or they were naturally interested in talking about their feelings in this way, and so, yeah, like anyone who is going through that, i want to say like, when you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else, and vice versa, when you say yes to something, saying no to something else. So if you're saying yes to things in your life right now that aren't serving you, you might be saying no to the things that would.

Speaker 1:

And it's so beautiful Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's scary to say no to what you're used to, um, and it doesn't have to be so. it's just been a really great Exploration and something I relearn every day. I'm like, oh there, that is again Cool And it's just like. I was onto my bag and, um, i just feel like I'm always growing.

Speaker 1:

Yes, i love what you shared a few minutes ago about compassion.

Speaker 1:

Um, and you I can't remember the words that you used, but like you, basically couldn't look at The world the same and I I can resonate with them so much, because What I find over and over again, especially when people attend my in-person retreats, is I hear them say like I thought it was just me and it's like no, literally, when people are behaving in ways that are not great, whether You know that we tend to like, not like those things, whether they're criticizing or attacking or Um, the list goes on and on. What is happening for them is that there's fear there and everyone can relate to that. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're like um, i like what you said, like I thought it was just me and it's. Yesterday I said this I was teaching yoga and, like the second, the story in your head is I'm alone. Yeah, just know that that's not true. It's not there are so many people That that understand and and feel the way that you do. And it's normal. It's normal to feel this way because we're all Human and we're, all you know, afraid of being.

Speaker 1:

My favorite is like oh, i'm not afraid, i'm just, you know, worried that I'm like yeah, you're afraid, yeah, right, right, we can use a different word if you want.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's fear and your and your brain wouldn't be Telling you that something was wrong if it didn't care about you. I think that was. I got that from you, like when you um, i think you were really the one that helped me realize, not to To argue with the voice in my head, but to just be like, hey, what's going on?

Speaker 1:

Like just talk to me It's a human.

Speaker 2:

What's going on? what are you afraid of? you know, just like you would talk to a child, or just like you would talk to A friend, like what's going on? Why are you afraid I'm not gonna ignore you? What's that?

Speaker 1:

Um, oh yeah, you're afraid that you think you're stupid. Yeah, yeah, it helps so much. I found Um. I had another question when you said I've learned to trust myself so much more. In case anyone is listening and they're like huh, is that a problem that I'm dealing with? What were some signs that you didn't trust yourself before?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, i think, um, the the biggest thing I can think of was my yoga journey, like and and for anyone listening doesn't know me, um, i was not a healthy person growing up. I was not ever in sports I never. I was a queen of the 12 minute mile, like I. Like I just wasn't a very active person, and I think where not trusting myself showed up was I really wanted to change that and I noticed that I didn't trust myself enough to Show up.

Speaker 2:

So, like that's a, it's like a really small example that ripples out in a big way. Like I didn't trust that I would go to the studio, i didn't trust that I would learn how to do this thing, like I didn't trust that. So that was like a physical way it showed up. I think other ways I realized I didn't trust myself was like with boundaries, like I didn't trust that I could. I didn't trust that What I had to say was important, right, i didn't trust that my story was important. So, just like all of these things, i started to realize like, oh wow, i don't Trust myself and it took me a while to realize that that's what was happening.

Speaker 2:

Like I'm like oh, that's trust, like I need to You know, in the same way that you would trust that your friend will show up for you, i I need to show, i need to trust that I will show up for me. And so I started working on that and I started working on that with the physical things, with with yoga. That was really helpful and It's extra helpful because one of the things I learned there was you know how you do this one thing is maybe how you do other Things, and at first I was like horrified. I was like, oh my god, oh, i hate that. But then I realized like, oh, that means you know How I do the small things is how I did the big thing, so I can practice the small things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, i can practice setting little boundaries. I can practice holding a plank for 30 more seconds, because that's like the equivalent of staying in an uncomfortable situation. You know, i can try, i can build my trust with myself by learning these little things, and so it's just like a really cool for filling out. Like how you do one thing might be how you do other things, and that's not a bad thing. That gives you good opportunity to learn. Yeah, they'll learn from your small things.

Speaker 1:

I love that so much. First, i forgot to mention. Kayla is my favorite yoga teacher of all time. Like absolutely hands down, i Want her, or some version of her, if she's not available, so she teaches yoga at All. She's well, she's my first pick, but not always available at all the bravcation retreats, so I just wanted to put that plug in amazing.

Speaker 2:

I am in.

Speaker 1:

Orlando. Yes, if you're in Orlando, find her at warrior one. But I also wanted to elaborate a little bit on what you said. So I Really really love that you use the physical example as like a small thing hold that plank, because that could be equivalent to like being in a Difficult situation, for instance, or uncomfortable situation, because when I'm working with my clients I tell them like there's probably like one thing that when we conquer it, it's gonna solve.

Speaker 2:

So Many issues in your life.

Speaker 1:

Which I hope feels like super liberating and empowering, because you don't have as many problems as you think you do.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, it's so true. I like to say small hinges, swing big doors, because it's yeah look at your little door.

Speaker 2:

Over there there's like little hinges that make that big thing swing, and And that's really what it is. It's like when I learned this, how I'm showing up. Watch, i'm gonna rewind to something you said because I loved it. Like this, one little thing can ripple out and do so much. And yes, i found that when I boiled it down Enough, it was the same thing. It was like no matter what I was applying it to, the thing was I am not blink enough, and it was usually smart enough, you know. And it translated to like I'm not smart enough to figure this out or I'm not smart enough to. And that's where those other stories I was saying came in, like, oh, i'm not the kind of person who blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2:

So I think once I realized that that was the story, Yeah now, any time I'm acting in that way, i can kind of coach myself and be like, hey, is this you thinking you're not smart enough to figure this out, or is this, you know? like what's going on here? And then again getting curious, not being mean to myself, just getting curious like what's going on. Why are you freaking out?

Speaker 1:

Yes, such a much more effective Approach is to get curious in that way. I thank you for sharing that example. Thank you for sharing everything today, for being so open. Is there anything else that you want to share about your journey?

Speaker 2:

before I ask you one last question, i think I just want to like tell anyone listening like You're just, you were way more capable, you know. Then you might think. And if you are having any, again, like what I said earlier, like if you're feeling really alone, you're not, and if you feel that way, what I find is just start talking about it, start being open about it, like where I think we're taught that It's not okay to be emotional, especially as women, like some. Okay to be emotional ago, you're too sensitive or your bubble blah.

Speaker 2:

It's actually your superpower. You know. It's a superpower to be sensitive. It's a superpower to be aware of what's going on in the world around you, and so don't take it for granted. Like you're magnificent.

Speaker 1:

You are Magnificent. I love that, and so are you. You're such a beautiful soul and I'm so grateful to know you. What advice, last question what advice do you have for a high-achieving Woman who asked herself like why am I like this? and maybe she has moments where she feels broken too.

Speaker 2:

The first thing that came to my mind is you're like this because you care. You care deeply, you know you wouldn't you.

Speaker 2:

You know, the story in my head is you wouldn't be freaking out about If you're doing it, your job, well enough, if you're a good parent, if you're, you know, achieving enough. You wouldn't be even in that mind space if you didn't care, and so I would, as much as possible, focus on the fact that you care and and focus on the fact that that caring is going to follow you through and you can care and you can Be passionate about your things, and you can be passionate about your children and Still give yourself space, give yourself time, give yourself grace, like both of those things are allowed at the exact same time. You can care a lot, but you can also grow a lot. You can also forgive yourself a lot, like they're not mutually exclusive from one another.

Speaker 1:

I love that so much, thank you. Thank you for being on sharing your story, for sharing your advice. If someone wants to find you, maybe they want to do yoga with you or just talk to you in some other way Is there a good way for people to reach out.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so I am on Instagram. My name is Kayla one ish, so every, every handle everywhere is k-a-y-l-a-w-o-n-i-s-c-h. If you are in Orlando, like Stephanie mentioned, i do teach near downtown Orlando at Warrior one. I also teach in Winter Garden. If you're on the other side of Orlando, closer to Kasumi, i teach on Saturdays, so you can find me at either 8 am In Winter Garden or 11 30 am in Orlando.

Speaker 1:

Wonderful, and if you can't do either of those and you want to meet Kayla, come to Bravcation.

Speaker 2:

Yes, Private session with me, and those are so fun. I love doing your vacation. Yeah, and one more thing a lot of the, a lot of the content that I was talking about today With the human element. That's a lot of what drives your break patient, and so, yes, i couldn't recommend Gosh. Stephanie is so amazing. If you haven't Done any work with her yet, you haven't had her as a coach, if you haven't been in a workshop setting with her, it will absolutely change your life. Oh.

Speaker 1:

Oh, thank you, Kayla. That means a lot to me that you said that. Thank you for again, for coming on anytime. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any Situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common Mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.

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Dr. Stephanie Lopez

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