FWTW S4E09 High Achiever Secret: Successful's Midnight Binges | Natalia Fomichenko & Barbie Moreno

High achiever secretly binging at midnight? Natalia Fomichenko reveals why corporate success led her to eating disorder hell—and how she escaped. This raw episode of From Wounds to Wisdom uncovers the hidden triggers behind stress eating, external validation traps, and why action alone fails without identity change. Whether you're a top performer burning out or seeking true joy, Natalia's story delivers the 3-part formula (Safety + Purpose + Play) that transformed her life.​

💡 TIMESTAMPS
High Achiever Intro Hook
Corporate Hamster Wheel Crash
Binge Eating Truth (Control + Escape)
Identity over Actions (Why Diets Fail)
Social Media's New Achievement Trap
Attachment Styles & Parenting Impact
Joy Formula Revealed
"I Am Safe" Mantra (Try This Now)

👉 Connect with Natalia:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/natalia.fomichenko/
Instagram @nati_fomichenko
Linked In https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalia-fomichenko/
Website https://nataliafomichenko.com/

Email: natalia@nataliafomichenko.com

🔥 Keywords: binge eating recovery, high achiever burnout, eating disorder coach, women's purpose, stress relief women, identity shift, attachment styles, joy formula, high performing women mental health, Bulimia, Anorexia, Natalia Fomichenko, Barbie Moreno #BingeEating #HighAchiever #BurnoutRecovery

Season 2 
Unraveling the Mind: From Mental Struggles to Inner Strength. 

Transcript

Welcome And Episode Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:01

From binge eating battles to blissful purpose, Natalia Fomicento proves high achieving women can have it all. Joy, fulfillment, freedom. If you're ready to stop surviving and start thriving, this episode is your wake-up call. Let's get started.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

She said, and he's like, Yeah, but you're you're sexy, but you're not immortal. You almost like want to rebel against all this.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

This is from Wounds to Wisdom with Barbie Moreno. Real talk, deep healing, and stories that turn pain into power. Let's dive

Meet Coach Natalia Fomichenko

SPEAKER_01 0:50

in. Thank you for joining us on From Wounds to Wisdom. This is your host, Barbie Moreno. And today I have with us a guest who works with women, which is near and dear to my heart. So please welcome Natalia Fomichenko.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Thank you for having me, Barbie. It's a pleasure to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yes, thank you. So I know, um, like I said, uh, you know, working with women is what I do as well. Um, I have my own reasons for my journey and why I work with women. Can you kind of give us like uh some history on you and then we'll go into what you do? Sounds good.

Chasing Prestige And Hitting A Wall

SPEAKER_00 1:21

So I'm a coach, but this journey was not straightforward. I'm also a very much of a business person, and from the very beginning, I was chasing achievements, and I was following that journey of you know, you go to the best university, and then you go to the most prestigious work, and then hopefully you become, I don't know, a CEO. I don't know what I aspire to become. But somewhere along the journey, I realized that it's just the hamster wheel, just the chase, and it doesn't give me anything internally but stress. And I ignored it back then. I thought maybe I'm weak, maybe you know something is wrong with me. And so I persevered.

Binge Eating As A Cry For Control

SPEAKER_00 2:10

And as I persevered, this stress coupled with unfulfilling work, or rather not knowing what it is that I'm all about and why I'm here, it all translated into an eating disorder that was my biggest challenge to hide back then. We grow from an adversity, and so as I was trying to help myself overcome it, I started really getting interested in psychology, spirituality, basically anything. I've tried so many things just to help myself. And as I was going through this journey, if I ever am able to help myself, I would also want to help other women who are going through the same challenges. As it turned out, eating disorder was a symptom of me not knowing what's my purpose, not knowing what brings me joy, and that is what I help women now. Finding their joy and fulfillment in their journey, career or beyond, and um removing all those unnecessary stress-induced symptoms.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

I've noticed in my journey, um, I had an eating disorder as well. I know that there's a lot of women who do. What I have learned

Validation, Body Image, And Comparison Traps

SPEAKER_01 3:27

is that there's a couple things, and I'd like to get your take on it. One is control, right? When you feel like you can't control anything else in your life, at least you can control that or you think you can. And the other thing is that, you know, I don't know how yours was, but I was a high-achieving woman as well. But I never felt like um, I don't know if I did it because of social reasons. Like I always had weight problems, anyways, for me. And so I felt like it kept me um at a certain size. I don't know if that was your story, but give me an idea on what you feel like was the history, you know, behind your eating disorder.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Yeah, thank you for asking. And I would like to specify mine was binge eating disorder. There are multiple, there's anorexia bulimia. I had an uh a period of sports bulimia where I would go to a gym at midnight trying to lose whatever binge I just had. Yeah, it was binge eating, and you're right, it's control. I I wanted to control something, I mean, something, at least something in my life, because I feel like you know, it's it's just my life is riding me as opposed to me riding my life. There was also a body image problem. I was never fat, but I was always very, very keen to be thin. And I think that has something to do with external validation. From my early years, thought that models are very, very pretty. And I occasionally received feedback that I look like a model. And to be frank, I do, but it was still not enough. And I remember I was dating my ex-boyfriend, and his ex was a model. Somebody told me that I look like a model, and I turn to him and I'm like, Oh, here what she said. And he's like, Yeah, but you're you're sexy, but you're not a model. So, you know, things like this triggered me a lot. But on top of this, I think what was the nice driver was this sense of pleasure. I I couldn't find as much pleasure in other things. And last thing is the a chance to escape. So sometimes when I got very, very overwhelmed with the world and I was just chasing and chasing and chasing, that was my way to go into my shell to shut myself from the world and to just be there, you know, it was my way to slow down. So yeah, there were multiple

The Hidden Cost Of Looking Successful

SPEAKER_00 5:46

factors.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

I know when you said um the feel-good, there's a lot that comes with that, right? So if you feel empty on the inside, putting food in feels good. There's actually chemicals that go on in our brain when we eat too, right? Specific foods in particular that create us to have that good feel-good feeling. And I think a lot of people don't understand, especially high-achieving people, deal with the fact that, yeah, they might look amazing on the outside, but there's so much going on in order to maintain that image and to maintain, you know, that success, that internally there is a lot of struggle. What have you found that you dealt with internally when you were going through this time in your life where it appeared on the outside that you were successful?

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Yeah, that's

Self Acceptance Beats Self Conflict

SPEAKER_00 6:34

a great question. And I think the whole problem stems from the fact that there is an internal struggle because that is what takes a lot of energy. Because when you are not accepting a part of yourself for any reason, then you got to fight it. And it's like in this movie where she's like fighting the part of herself that was younger. It's basically it's not useful to fight yourself. What you do is you're just losing your energy, and instead is is accepting both parts. And I think I was struggling with accepting a weak side of myself. I didn't feel whole back then. I had this image that a high-achieving woman needs to be strong. I I just couldn't let myself to be weak, and and that weak part of me, and you know, both sided, uh, every coin has two parts. And that was, I guess, another driver.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Where did you get the idea of your value came from external factors?

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Everything that I did required an observer for me to get it validated. I didn't have that part of myself who can tell me what's right and wrong in the sense that I would accept that opinion above all other people. Like now I understand. Now, if I'm choosing something and I think that's a good choice, even if somebody else tells me before, it would make me feel so bad because I would think that that, especially if I trust that person, now I guess it's shifted. Now I can see the other side. Something that tells me inside that I'm I'm really happy where I am career-wise, and I do have a room to grow as we all do, but I'm I'm really happy where I am, and that's enough. Even if somebody else tells me that look, you know, I do something else, and and that's better, good for you. So I I got this internal platform support that I didn't have before.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And do you think you didn't have it before because you didn't get it when you were younger?

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Yeah. That's where a lot of our

Early Responsibilities And Rebellion

SPEAKER_01 8:38

root causes come from, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Yeah. Were your parents the type that only recognized you when you achieved or did good or you were a good girl?

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Yeah, even though it wasn't very prominent in the sense that when parents would give you big presents if you did well at school, I always did well at school. From the very beginning, I was a straight A student. But I think it's more to do with a lot of responsibility in the early age. I I had to grow up pretty quickly. Um, you know, my parents worked a lot and they did everything that they could. I took care of my little sister. Then when you grow up, you sort of you almost like want to rebel against all this. Like, yeah, you you're like forgetting me. I I want, I don't know what I want, but I'm here. And maybe that was also her way to get attention.

Why Lived Experience Matters In Coaching

SPEAKER_01 9:33

I know that a lot of people when they receive like they get to a certain space and they feel like they're burnt out. There's also self-sabotage. Like, I don't feel internally worthy of being in this space, or how can I maintain this, right? And so it's like I'm just gonna give it all up because I don't think that I can maintain this, I'm not worthy of it, or whatever the case may be.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yeah, there are different self-sabotaging patterns, I guess. Quite a lot of energy, as we were talking before, when you fight, when one part of you fights the other part of you, it's not, it's it's exhausting. And so I'm really, really happy. I, you know, I don't have to do this anymore. I don't think, you know, I have this hypothesis that people don't become coaches or psychotherapists if if they haven't gone through their own personal hell. Yeah. Which I think is a great advantage because the people that we work with, they see it not in frameworks that we you we offering, but in in identity. And I think that's what gives hope to people. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

And I I feel like specifically like with coaches, like you have you have big people, like let's say Tony Robbins, right? And he has these great big conferences, and then he has people that he's taught and trained and stuff, but it's the same formula over and over and over. Whereas I feel like when you come from experience and you're coaching, you come from understanding where that person's coming from and you can individualize it versus these very big programs, you know, and that one's obviously one about business and and and stuff, but it's

Identity Change Over To-Do Lists

SPEAKER_01 11:01

also about becoming who you're supposed to become, right? But these big programs, sometimes I feel like they lose the individual touch. That's really about why that person is the way they're doing. You can tell somebody, like, oh, you have to receive, you have to do, you know, um, X, Y, Z amount of activities and tasks every single day to be successful. But if that person can't achieve that because they have other stuff that's going on, something's going on with them mentally, the way that they've trained themselves, they can't achieve that no matter how hard they try. They might have started off doing well and then a couple of weeks. That's why people who start off like losing weight in the beginning of the year, right? And then they go back to their old patterns because they haven't retrained themselves.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Yeah. What you're saying is super right. You cannot make a change on the action on the to-do level unless you make a change in identity on who you are level. So for instance, if I want to lose weight or if I want to really achieve something in my career, I kind of want to mentally be that person who values the healthy lifestyle, who values the boundaries as a result of being that person with time, I will get all those things.

Manifestation, Scarcity, And Brain Patterns

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah, I was just talking with some clients of mine uh a couple days ago, and we were talking about they had done like manifestation, like affirmations, and they were like, they're in like, you know, a ridiculous amount of debt now, all of a sudden there's all of these problems, and they're like, How come we were working on manifestation? We were doing all these positive affirmations and everything, and it didn't work out. And I was like, Because you're coming from a place of scarce, get scarcity, right? And affirmations do you no good if you don't truly believe that you deserve that's who you are, and you embody that you're basically coming from a place of I don't have this, I want this. Like, what's your take on that? Because I know you're also very spiritual.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah, it's uh it's a good question. I think you can explain it spiritually, you can also explain it scientifically if our brain has a great capacity to notice patterns. And so if we are seeing the world as scarce, as not enough, and it doesn't even have to be about money, it can be about yourself, your own self-wars. We program our brain by repeated action to notice those patterns. When you say this, you can almost start facilitating this change, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

You know? So it sounds like what I talk about too, it's awareness, right? So if you say, like, you know, I have a good body, but then

Body Awareness And Safe Change

SPEAKER_01 13:37

your body tenses up and it's like, yeah, no, no, no, no, we don't believe that. You have to focus on the awareness that that's what the body's doing, so that you can then be aware, and then you can watch that. And from watching that, the awareness brings in that, and then you can work on that through various different exercises and all of those different things, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah, exactly. My mind and body are super interconnected when you smile, usually when you're happy. But if you start smiling when you're unhappy, eventually the brine, uh the brain and mind catch up, and then you start feeling better. And so the same logic applies to anything. And if you want to make a change, you first need to make sure your body's feels safe in that change.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

Yeah, and I notice like you have to do it in small steps,

Small Steps And The Patience Muscle

SPEAKER_01 14:22

and that's the other thing. I feel like people want to go and like run a marathon, and they don't understand like you have to just start with you know five minutes a day if you start from nowhere, um, so that your your body can get used to it, your mind can get used to it. It's so much easier to say, well, I'm gonna go for a five-minute walk versus I'm gonna go run a mile if you're not a runner yet, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah, I think honestly, the secret of life is the small steps, literally, and the patience to execute them because this is the compounding effect of all the changes, and yet all we want is just an instant change, but we are not even ready for this. I didn't develop my social media back then and I was dreaming of like hundreds thousand

Social Media As A New Hamster Wheel

SPEAKER_00 15:03

followers. It's not about numbers, it's about feeling ready for who you are now and and enjoying that because that's the stepping stone to what's next.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Yeah, I'm glad you said that because when you were talking about social media and followers, my mind initially went to like that is half the problem, right? So it's a different kind of achievement. And people will leave one career and then they go into something like this, and then they start qualifying their um value by how many people are following or liking them. And I feel like that's a whole nother trap that people get into when they think that they're getting out of the other trap, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:41

Exactly. I think when you are getting out of the trap that has been built on external validations and external facades, at some point you will have to go and and look inside because that's where all the foundation starts from.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Yeah, I agree. I think social media is a whole trap in and of itself, in my opinion. Um, the fakeness of it. You need it oftentimes to succeed business-wise. I agree. There's

Parenting, Presence, And Attachment Styles

SPEAKER_01 16:12

lots of fakeness. Do you have children? I don't. Yeah, uh, I I think that that's a whole different world too, especially if you're a high-achieving person and you're trying to maintain being a parent and you're trying to maintain being a spouse, and you're trying to like, you know, wear all of these different um hats, and it's another way to create a huge persona that crumbles.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Yeah. Do you have children?

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Oh, I have two, yeah, and they drive me nuts, and I love them. But I have to say, one thing I I talk about um is that my older daughter grew up with me as my high achieving self who needed to prove her my myself and wasn't present as much as I thought I was, because I would show up, but I wasn't actually present. I was on my phone or my computer or thinking about, you know, things when I was at like activities and stuff. So she's 17. She grew up with me more in that way until like the last five to 10 years, which my son's 11, he grew up with me a different way. So they have very different attachment styles. If people don't know what attachment styles are, it's the way that you know we interact with other people. I would call her anxious attachment, right? She's worried about people in her life like um leaving, I guess would be the best way of saying in various different ways, right? And where my son is more has like a secure attachment, right? Like he is just who he is. The world can just like surrender to him. And I really depends on how your parents showed up at that time. And you can have one parent who parents two different kids very differently based on where they are in their life.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

This is so fascinating. It I I it's such a responsibility, it's uh it's such work. I I want to have children, but I recognize that it's uh it's not a walk in the park. In fact, I have an anxious attachment style, which I learned to sort of be mindful of. And it's funny because my partner he has a secure attachment style. And in in the very beginning of our relationship, I was like, Oh my god, like what if something is wrong?

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah. And the things that you do to evolve, you know, they're gonna trigger stuff. They're gonna trigger stuff in you that you didn't know that

Triggers, Intuition, And Self Knowledge

SPEAKER_01 18:20

you have. The other thing about anxious attachment is that person's kind of always scanning for other people, right? Like to see what their mood is or whatever the case may be. But I find a lot of high-achieving women are still constantly like, you know, we feel and we're very intuitive. So we know if somebody's like in a bad mood.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

All of these things make you who you are in a unique way, and so it's about awareness, knowing your triggers, recognizing it as an alarm, and that has nothing to do with reality most of the time. It's really important to just know yourself and and and know we all have strengths and weaknesses. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

And it's a journey.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

There's no exception. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

The whole life is a journey, and if you came in perfect, there'd be really no purpose in living it, right? We live through exceptions.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

It'd be no fun.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, it'd be no fun. Sometimes it's not fun, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yeah, we all have opportunities to change and to grow certain things, yet we ignore them because we feel like we're afraid or we're not ready, and then life throws to us another circumstance that is way heavier, and and because otherwise, how do we learn? And so, yeah, it's a combination of our choices too.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

So, on the podcast, I always ask that the um guest gives a tool that people can take with them, something that they can, you know, use today, not something that's like way

Life Throws Bigger Lessons When Ignored

SPEAKER_01 19:44

down the future. So, what is a tool that you teach for um your clients that you feel like would be beneficial?

SPEAKER_00 19:51

I think today we've discussed lots about fulfillment and how important it is for general enjoyment of your life and also for navigating such stress-related systems. So, I've created my own formula of joy or fulfillment. There are two components it's safety, it's a purpose, it's fun or play. And so safety is basically making sure that your body and yourself feel safe. And I actually want like would argue that when people try to grow, they want to leave the safe zone,

The Joy Formula: Safety, Purpose, Play

SPEAKER_00 20:25

you know, to go into the growth zone. You actually have to have your safety zone very established to then venture into the growth zone because you have to have this foundation. And so the second element is the purpose, and that's basically what really is meaningful to you, and how do you uh help other people? It's impossible to identify a purpose in isolation. You because if you're focusing too much on yourself, you're not going to get out of your unhelpful thinking pattern. You actually have to go into the world and interact with others who you can help and through whose reflections you can learn more about your inner self. And then the last bit is the play part, because otherwise it's just not working. We all since we are kids,

A Simple Safety Tool You Can Use Today

SPEAKER_00 21:14

we learn through play and through games, and it's an essential element of our enjoyment or fulfillment of this life. And so if you don't have this element, think how you can really incorporate it. And of course, don't forget about the small steps because it everything starts with just a small step. The smaller the better.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

So break it down to a tool. So those are big general ideas. And if I'm listening, I'm like, great, uh, so I need to know my purpose, I need to stay in a safe zone, and I need to play. Give a tool.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Yeah. Practice safety. Practice safety through body awareness. The the simplest tool and something to start with, to just build a habit of telling yourself that you're safe.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

I agree. That helps the nervous system tremendously.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Yeah.

Where To Find Natalia And Closing

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

So, how would people find you if they feel like they are aligned with you?

SPEAKER_00 22:07

Yes, um, they can find me on LinkedIn by my name, Natalia Fomichanko. They can also check out my website, nataliafomichenko.com, and that would be it.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Very good. And we'll have all of that in the description, and we appreciate you coming on. Thank you so much, Barbie. It was a pleasure talking to you. Likewise, thanks.

CTA: Keep The Healing Going

SPEAKER_01 22:27

If this story spoke to you, let's keep the healing going. Visit Barbie Moreno.com for my online course, awakening your worth in healing energy sessions, one on one coaching, and your free healing guide. Your next step is waiting.