Episode 4: Diving into differences- A parent's neurodiversity quest

In this podcast, Lori takes us on her journey of navigating the educational system to get support for her daughter who was struggling emotionally and academically.  Lori's persistence, curiosity and listening to her gut instincts led to some big discoveries and got her daughter the support she needed.  

Although the journey is still continuing our hope of sharing this story is to shed light on navigating the educational system for neurodivergent children especially when you have nothing to go off of other than that mother's instinct.  Knowing where to start, what could be contributing factors affecting your child's learning and what tests might you consider are all shared on this podcast.

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Disclaimer:
The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast         

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to let's get curious. The podcast for women and mothers seeking connection, support, and inspiration. We are friends, mothers, and therapists. Laurie, a physical therapist and Dorothy, a speech and language therapist. Together. We share our personal stories, including IVF birth experiences and navigating children's learning difficulties. Through our discussions, we uncover profound lessons for personal growth. Join us on this journey of curiosity, compassion and empowerment. Welcome to let's. Get curious. And this podcast, Laurie takes us on her journey of navigating the educational system to get support for her daughter who was struggling emotionally. And academically. Lori's persistence. Curiosity. And listening to her gut instincts led to some big discoveries and got her daughter the support she needed.

Lori: 1:03

So I'm going to take this story all the way back to the very beginning of when my daughter was about to enter kindergarten. And I guess I should preference, so, my twin girls, they were born three weeks early, which meant, if they were born on time, they would be essentially doing a pre K, program. But because they were born on the earlier side and their birthday was before September 5th, then I needed to put them into kindergarten right when they turned five. And we were in the California school district. And so as we were approaching kindergarten, my husband and I could just feel that She just wasn't ready for kindergarten. A lot of the kids that we had spent our preschool years with, they were already a year ahead of us. And you can just see this lack of emotional maturity, if that makes sense. And not that we were having any specific problems, but it just. They just felt really young to be entering kindergarten. So I had gone in and I spoke with the principal and just said exactly what I just shared a few minutes ago with all of you. And his question to me was, well, is she having a specific problem or has she been diagnosed with anything? And I said, no, this is just something that I feel we're just not ready for and she would benefit from doing a pre K program. And he said, well, we can't do that. So let's just put her into kindergarten and we'll see where this takes us. Okay, so go through kindergarten, not much of course happens in kindergarten, right, they're learning their ABCs, their colors, their one, two, threes, and so we're, we're doing okay. We had an okay kindergarten year. Now we go into first grade, and right after the first trimester, her first grade teacher comes to me and says that she's Having some struggles with reading and that she wants to put her into the special reading group. And of course, I'm all for it. Anything my kids need, we're going to tackle that. I want the school to support them. And I was of course, supporting her at home. And again, we were reading. Um, but. to me, she wasn't struggling much at the time, but again, she was getting support at school and some support and everything at home. So we continue with our special reading, in first grade, first grade ends, and they want to continue this now into second grade. And, of course, with each teacher along the way, from the kindergarten teacher, the first grade teacher, as well as the second grade teacher, I'm telling my story to them of how I had met with our principal, what my concerns are, and to please, watch for things and keep me in the loop. So, we go through second grade, again, in the special reading. At this point, I also have private tutors coming into my house, and these private tutors are also school teachers within our school district. So she's getting support at school, she's getting support at home with outside help coming in, as well as continued help with me. And we go through our second grade, complete that, and now we're entering. Third grade, and I guess I should also preference COVID hit. So we all, every single one of us was hit with the whole COVID school craziness. And of course we move online, right? So we're online at halfway through second grade. And again, private tutors still coming in. We're meeting outside, we're masking. We're still trying to keep education going. Then third grade comes and we're still online. At this point because of COVID and again, I say my concerns to the third grade teacher with everything that been, happening from the beginning and my third grade teacher, she was the very first one. She was very experienced. She had over, I don't know. 25 plus years of experience. And she says to me, she goes, you know, Laurie, even when we're over zoom and we have our little breaks and I play dance music she goes, I've always wondered, why in a way

5:23

she

Lori: 5:24

acts a little bit younger than the rest of the class, and so again, I got into the whole being born early. What are my concerns? What are we watching for? And she agreed that she was also starting to see some things just not add up, and I always wanted to go back as well as my husband and hold her back a grade and just see is, is that the piece that we're missing? And, you know, mind you all along the way, we're having teachers come into the house. I'm helping, I'm speaking with the school teachers. And so I'm being very patient as the principal had asked me to be from the very beginning. And I've been in that pattern of let's just wait, watch and see. So, as we are about halfway through third grade, I continue to meet with her teacher who is Amazing and supportive. The reading specialist was amazing and supportive, but we still were not getting to where we needed to be. And I was feeling this pressure and this anxiety that everything that we were doing, I wasn't closing the gap, and you would think with school support, outside school support, all of these structures in place, that we would at least be closing the gap. She was just a woman with her education and we weren't. I was just always felt like I was treading and just barely with my head above water. And you know, there came a point by third grade that she was having headaches and stomach aches and not wanting to attend school. And again, I thought, well, you know, learning over a computer is hard. I myself, you know, I'm tired after being on Zoom for an hour, trying to just even catch up with friends in a fun situation. So I'm contributing all of her behavioral issues to Zoom and COVID and this learning style that we all were faced with. But I still continue, to talk with the teacher and how she's struggling with this and struggling with that. And even though if, even when I removed the Zoom piece, when I would sit with her to do Any type of homework. We were still bumping heads with the behavioral stuff. So that also made me kind of go, okay, yes, we have COVID. Yes, we're learning over the computer, but I still think we're missing something. And so her third grade teacher said, okay, we're going to, I'm going to set up a meeting with the principal, with the reading specialists, with the school psychologist and myself. And I was like, wonderful. And I finally felt like I was Being supported, with my concerns, that, my concerns were truly being listened to and they were setting, you know, at least something up for me. So my husband and I, we sit down, we have this zoom meeting with all of, the educators and the principal and he starts going through the laundry list and trying to, you know, find me ways to support my daughter and for every single thing he suggested. It was. Been doing that have I've had that in place for a year. That's been for six months. Every single box was checked. And I said to him, because at this point, I was done being patient. I was patient from kindergarten through now half of third grade. And my kid is hating school, not wanting to do homework. And so I said, you know, I go, I don't know if you remember me, but I came into your office when my daughter was about to start kindergarten. And I told you my concerns. And you told me to be patient, and I've been, but I'm not patient anymore, and I need to do something for her. And because I have all these other systems in place, all the tutoring, all the outside support, all the inside support at school, and I'm not closing that gap, and my kid is not wanting to come to school, to me, my last option that I want to try, is to be able to hold her back. And so, of course, a school psychologist, pops in right away and talks about the social emotional potential damage that that can do. And trust me, I took all of that into consideration. And my argument back to that was, I don't take that part lightly, but I also have a kid who is walking around my house Banging her head, calling herself stupid. So if I don't have self-confidence from an education standpoint, there's no way that she's going to feel a part of anything social emotionally anyway. At least that's how I viewed it. And so this Zoom meeting that we were on lasted a good hour and a half, and again, The, the principal didn't have any rebuttal and he said, we've already met for an hour and a half. Let's pause and we can reconvene next week and pick up this conversation. So again, no salute. And I actually spoke with the reading specialist afterwards and she apologized to me. She goes, Lori, she goes, I know you're there looking for, answers and support. And we weren't able to give that to you only because you've been pretty much kicking ass all along the way and doing everything that we would guide somebody in, you've already been ahead of that.

Dorothy: 10:52

wow

Lori: 10:52

I understand where you're coming from and why you're requesting what you're requesting. So, this is the interesting twist, of the story. So, as we're working to continue that conversation, this is when we're also deciding to move out of state, and so, we decide to do that. And so, that whole piece, That was happening with my past school in California. Obviously, we didn't move forward with. But what's so interesting is we move here to Washington State, and we meet with the principal over Zoom. Again, I'm an open book, right? Because I'm here ultimately because I want, yes, to help my child, but I also want to be able to help and support the educators who are helping my child. And so it's about. I think, you know, finding those situations to best serve everybody because it's not just the teacher's job to handle everything for my child. I have to take that responsibility too. It's a whole team approach. That's how I look at education for my kids. And I lay everything out for her just as I did the previous, principal. And I tell her that I'm interested in holding my daughter back coming into this new school. And she says, okay, I have, you know, some questions that I need to ask you and based upon how you answer these questions, I think it was like some kind of scoring sheet, um, that will determine if we can or if we can't. And I was like, wonderful. So she went through maybe like 10 questions with myself and my husband and we finished those 10 questions and she goes, yep, we can hold her back. And I cannot tell you the relief.

Dorothy: 12:38

Wow.

Lori: 12:39

I have not felt that free in like forever. And so I knew, I knew at that point, it was the right decision and it was. We moved to Washington and we essentially repeat half of second grade and it was over like a hybrid. So some days were on zoom, some days were in the school. You know, change is hard and for everybody, let alone Littles and starting a new school and with COVID and everything. She loved her teacher. She loved her class. And I was just like, okay, we're just going to let the dust settle right now and see what else might, come up. So we finished second grade. Now, finally, everything's being lifted for COVID and she goes in, repeats third grade and we're in the school. Right. And so she's finally fully being immersed in her brand new school day one, meet with her third grade teacher and again, run her through our history. And she was wonderful. Immediately. She gets her signed up to have, counseling support. at the school. So we're taking care of that social emotional piece. She's watching her, of course, with her, reading and her math and just some other areas that we were struggling in. And again, she was meeting all the standards. And this is something that I really want everybody to listen to because they like to say this a lot. They're right at, level. They're meeting the standards. But her meeting the standard was nothing but struggle. And we. You know, to the point again, like trying to even just get simple reading done in the house, a fight, still having some negative self talk, and the teacher and I worked very closely with each other and come the end of third grade, she says to me, I want us to test her, and I was like, wonderful, and again, I'm like, oh, I actually, I'm getting support from, from the school, this is wonderful, we're actually working together as a team, I'm not being told of all the things that I, you know, it. Well, essentially should be doing, but I already was doing so it was like they were right on par with me and it was wonderful. So they go in, and they do the testing and it comes back. Because of course, you know, they can't diagnose, but it does come back with showing potential signs of dyslexia, visual issues, as well as auditory. And so with auditory, it was the receiving of information, her process, her, her, her receiving and her processing, not her language to speak. And it was her receptive language. So immediately, of course, school's ending, right? I know that there is a school near us for dyslexia. I go and I tour it. In the meantime, I go and I sign her up immediately for speech and I find a vision therapist as well. And so as I'm getting all these things lined up and I go to tour the school, for, reading and learning disabilities. As I'm touring this school, I'm just full of chills and we're in a classroom and they're spelling with their fingers, learning all the phonics sounds. And they have this routine that they do. So they're spelling with their fingers, they're saying the sounds of the words, they're putting their words together and spelling. I'm just blown away. And then the principal giving us a tour says to this little boy, tell this lady why you don't have erasers on your pencil. And he says, because mistakes are okay. And if we make a mistake, then we just have to bracket it. And that way our teacher knows that we caught our own mistake. And I almost like wanted to cry at that point on the tour because my daughter is, everything is about having to be so perfect. And that's what the principal said. She goes, we also don't have erasers on our pencils because our students tend to be perfectionist. And so if it's not the perfect E written or the perfect T. Then they want to erase it, but they keep erasing to the point now they have a hole in their paper. And now, no learning is taking place, and we have to start over. And I was like, full of tingles from head down to my toes, because I was like, this is my daughter. This is my daughter. Afraid to make a mistake, doesn't want to make a mistake. If we make a mistake, we get stuck on the mistake. I mean, all of it. So, right then and there, I go home, I fill out the paperwork, and I was like, we need to go to this school. And, the reason why I chose this school for dyslexia, And learning challenges over staying in our current school system was, I knew that our current school system would support my daughter, however, that program was going to be piecemealed, she'd be pulled out for reading, then have to try to be reintegrated into the classroom. And for me that would have been a big social emotional. Uh, breaking point for my daughter

Dorothy: 17:59

Mm.

Lori: 18:00

as well as how many years now has gone by from kindergarten to now going what would be entering into fourth grade and I didn't want to waste any more time. I thought if I'm going to help her, I need to help her and totally immerse her into a program where everything is all integrated into every single lesson. So from math to reading. To how they teach their art and their tech and all of that stuff. And so, that's why we chose to leave our school district. Because I just needed immersion. I needed full integration. And I also needed that peace to know like if I dove deep and all the way in. If there were any other problems, I think they would surface sooner. That was my thinking. So, okay. We're working to get signed up in or accepted to that school. We're now, you know, summertime has come. We are into speech language. Therapy. And what was interesting about that is the deficits that she was having were showing up to have a visual component and I was like, well, this is great because we're in vision therapy and then we'll see, you know, what changes come along the way. So we were in speech for several months and we graduated out of that and vision therapy, of course, continued and it's still continuing. We actually, I think, wrap up next. Next week, which would be nine months of vision therapy and

Dorothy: 19:30

I interrupt real sec, real quick, Laura? So how did you know that she needed vision therapy? Like what made you. Go down that path.

Lori: 19:41

great question. Well, one, since the school said there was a visual component and, but two, even when, my daughter was really young and still actually in preschool, I had, um, I always got their eyes checked and the, the eye doctor at that time said she could have convergence. So I knew potentially there could be an eye issue for my daughter, so knowing that is, then I jumped forward when, once we got here and got settled in and then with her results that came up from her testing at school, I knew I had to circle back and find an eye doctor, who also focused on vision therapy and full, I evaluations. And so I'm going to divert here a little bit just because, and this could be a separate podcast, but, when our kids eyes are being checked, especially just even at school, they're looking to see, are they looking clearly, right? Can they see 2020

Dorothy: 20:40

Right.

Lori: 20:41

vision therapy dives in deeper? And it's about, are the eyes communicating to the brain? My daughter ended up, also starting to have words for me at the end of third grade where she would say, Mom, my eyes are tired. Or, and then she'd say, like, she doesn't want to read, or a big one that, had just started, like I said, at the end of third grade was the words are starting to bounce off the page on, on the paper. And so her timing of that was also paired with my timing of, looking for the vision therapist and with the timing of also the schools. Testing. Does that make sense?

Dorothy: 21:24

Yeah, because I think that's a really important Clarification because I didn't know anything about vision therapy until my child was also having some difficulties and we can we'll get into that another time, but I always thought that you just go get your eyes checked and there's no no more to it than that So I think it's a is it a developmental optometrist that you went to okay? So, for people that are listening, yeah, it's definitely a much more in depth evaluation.

Lori: 21:56

It is. And they look at, you know, convergence. So again, how do the eyes come together? Divergence. How do the eyes, um, when they look out, like out into, um, into the visual field, what do they see? And so, and, and my daughter also ended up having peripheral vision. Issues, which I was blown away by that one only because she was never my kid that, you know, bumped into wall. She was never my kid that would miss catching a ball, right? It's like there was nothing about her movement. I mean, and even with myself being, you know, a physical therapist, knowing some things to look for. There wasn't anything that was apparent that was coming in her day to day movement or behaviors. Um, but she did, she lacked even some peripheral vision. So, there was some peripheral vision issues, there was convergence issues, there was divergence issues, there was tracking issues, and so that was her frustration too within the classroom. As she's looking up at the board or whatever the teacher's, you know, doing in front of her and then if she had to go back down and find her place on the paper, it was taking her so much time. And then of course, you know, the instruction continues, right? You're finally finding your spot, but now the teacher might be two or three or four sentences ahead, and you're still back on one, you bet you're going to be frustrated, right? And so there we are, again, having these, you know, behavioral moments in even in the classroom, because she's just frustrated. And what was so interesting, too, is, When the school psychologist and I met to go over her testing, she said, Lori, she is a very bright girl. She goes, she has found strategies to make things in the classroom work for her. But now, third, fourth grade, is that pivot point. And This is why kids don't really start getting diagnosed until 9, 10, 11. It's because when you're going into that 3rd grade, 4th grade levels, you're going from learning to read to now reading to learn. And so comprehension gets pulled in a lot more. The texts, the books get longer, right? You're going from... A book that's, you know, a one book that tells you the whole story to now getting into chapter books and there's more words on the page, the words might be smaller on the page. And so that's why, you know, a lot of times people are like, how did, like, how did the school not see this sooner? And I, and that's where I want a preference because that was part of my learning too. Obviously, they saw something in first grade when she was having trouble reading, but a lot of times that doesn't equate into full signs of, say, dyslexia because at that point, they're still learning to read. Does that make sense? And then we get into, like I said, the third grade, the fourth grade, and now we're reading to learn, and then we go into that higher level thinking and the execution where we have to almost kind of like read in between the lines and, answer these questions based upon comprehension. When the words are bouncing off the page, you know, on the paper, it's pretty hard to concentrate on what it is that you're reading when you're just trying to read the word for what it is. And that's where a lot of times, too, you'll start to see issues with memory because the kids are working so hard to just try to see the word or say the word and they're not remembering what they read. Um, a sentence or two or three ahead of that because they just physically can't, they're, they're concentrating on only one piece of that and they can't take in the whole lesson. So, yeah, that's how I got, into vision therapy and we had to go in once a week. Work with a therapist. The therapist would then give us homework and the homework I have to say like it was it was fun It was even fun for me. I mean, I was taking myself through all of these exercises, you know with my daughter and We worked on we had to do eye stretches. We had to work on her peripheral vision We had a ball set up out in the garage where it would like spin around her and she'd have to walk into the Ball and read the colors that were on the board in front of her without getting hit by the ball and then walk back out. And so the exercises just continued to build as her eyes got stronger. And then, there was worksheet, you know, work that we'd have to do, working on memory. That's what she's working on right now is visual memory. Did you even know that existed? Visual memory?

Dorothy: 26:37

Uh, yes. But I'm a speech,

Lori: 26:40

I know you

Dorothy: 26:40

I'm a speech pathologist, but

Lori: 26:43

Yeah,

Dorothy: 26:44

yes,

Lori: 26:45

you know that, but yeah.

Dorothy: 26:47

but yeah, probably not common to know.

Lori: 26:50

No, but yeah, so visual, visual memory. And it's just, it's so cool. So right now she's having to look at pictures that have, triangular shapes or rectangular shapes and then leave that paper in one room and go build that structure in another room and then go back and check herself. And it's just been amazing to see this progress. And she straight up will say mom, my eyes don't hurt anymore. She breathes a lot faster now. She Most importantly, enjoys reading now, the words swimming and bouncing off the page. Nope. Gone. All gone.

Dorothy: 27:29

Wow.

Lori: 27:30

And yeah. And so, you know, we did all that. So again, that was her fourth grade, right? Brand new school we get into where they're teaching phonics, they're teaching cursive writing. And this is the other piece that I should say. So for any child who, well, one, I think we need to all go back to teaching. Cursive in the schools, but they teach cursive with children who have dyslexia or any type of writing and reading challenges because the cursive writing is continuous. And so having that continuity from one letter to the next, to the next, to the next also helps with learning the spelling of the word, remembering how the word sounds. Where printing you have to You know, pick up the pencil each time in between the letters. And so that becomes more of a challenge for children with dyslexia.

Dorothy: 28:24

Wow.

Lori: 28:26

And so, all of this was being integrated in her new school. The cursive, the phonics, every single class is, you know, being taught the way that her brain Learns and that was the other, you know, part of the conversation that I would, you know, have with my daughter because of course like she was finally getting integrated into a new school and I pick her up and I move her from that. And again, taking in the social emotional pieces, but, you know, what was so amazing is as we start this new school and she's going through this program and she's learning that she's actually in the highest reading class and she's in the highest math class, her confidence is changing, which is my number one for her. That's my number one. Like I know she will learn. We all learn. We just learn at different paces. I needed my kid's confidence to come back. And that is what we have gained by changing schools. She has made friends. So the social emotional piece has been taken care of. And you know, anytime, I mean, even as, you know, adults, right? No change isn't easy, but it builds resilience.

Dorothy: 29:37

Mm hmm.

Lori: 29:38

so. That's the other piece that I felt that we were also giving her is, yeah, I mean, it was sad to leave one school and have to start a new one, but she even said to me, she's like, Mom, she goes, I accomplished so much this year and I said, you did baby girl and she sees that she is in the highest math and the highest reading and she's kicking butt. And just to see her confidence, you know, come back, it was just, yeah, it was another layer of stress off my, off my heart. And so once we got into the new school, we completed speech therapy. We are now wrapping up vision. The last piece that I needed to do for her was the neuropsych testing. Because I still needed to see, am I dealing with a true dyslexic diagnosis? And we ended up completing 12 hours of neuropsych testing. And we will get those results in August that I will share, but I'm so excited for that piece because, okay, yes, I want to know, do we have true dyslexia? Are we just somewhere on the spectrum? The cool part about all this is I get to learn about my kid's brain and how I can serve her better in all areas of her life. So we get to, learn all those intricacies of her working brain, you know, from memory to, problem solving, the emotional pieces, you know, the list goes on. So that is the last piece that I am, waiting for. Like I said, that'll come out in August and. You know, if I can give any parent two pieces of advice, one, when you have that gut feeling, follow it immediately. Yeah. There's a part that we have to be patient. To put puzzle pieces together, but continue to be an advocate for your child. You know your kid the best. And when something doesn't feel right, don't waste any time. Get in there immediately and have those conversations. Write things down. This is the other piece that I'm learning from other parents who have had to walk a similar path to me and have older children. is go in, meet with those teachers, take notes, have a reference to go off of because, it just helps to be an advocate for your kid all around to having, you know, more hardcore information in front of you of who you spoke to, when you spoke to them. Go directly to the teachers first before you, of course, even go to the higher administration. They're your go to people when it comes to just them dealing with your kid on a day to day basis. They will be able to say more to you when you ask them direct questions. If you just kind of, you know, go through the school year and just wait to meet with them every trimester, they're not going to come to you with information. You need to go to them to ask the questions, to get the information. And this is just how the whole educational system across the board, Is set up, there are certain things that teachers can talk about, there are certain things that they can't, but it's also about how they're approached. So, being an advocate for your kid, follow that gut instinct, don't waste any time. And then the other piece is, if you are suspecting some kind of learning challenge, then there's those three areas that I would get tested. I would get their auditory, their ability to receive information and process it, I would get their eyes checked by an office that also offers vision therapy because they're the ones that are going to be the ones with the most, thorough exams. And then the neuropsych testing, understanding how your kid's brain works. So if you can get those three areas tested, it gives you a lot of information, of how to move forward if they're struggling, you know, in one area or multiple areas. So that's my biggest piece of advice.

Dorothy: 33:45

I love that. Lori, and did you hire an advocate? at all to help you navigate this process? Or did you do this on your own?

Lori: 33:53

I did this on

Dorothy: 33:54

On your own.

Lori: 33:55

Yeah. If I can tell you this

Dorothy: 33:57

Mm hmm.

Lori: 33:57

I were to stick with the public school system, and if my kid, well she would have needed an IEP, then I most likely would have hired an advocate, because, My understanding is there's just so much that the school doesn't come forward with a lot of things or they can't,

Dorothy: 34:19

Yeah.

Lori: 34:20

then having that advocate for you, they understand what are, what by law the school has to give you. Obviously, they're there to help and support you. And so. If I were to remain in the public school system or even go back, that's where I would probably then have an advocate to help me navigate that because there's just so many pieces, moving pieces that, by the time you catch yourself up on things, you're also wasting time to get things in place for your kid. There's just a big learning curve is my understanding. And so that's where I would definitely hire an advocate if I needed to remain in the public school system.

Dorothy: 34:58

I agree. Well, thank you for sharing, Lori. Gosh, I, I've been with you on this journey and I can tell you that you didn't have the answers, but as soon as you got that, validation where you felt heard, I could feel the stress, Come off of you when you met with that principal and they were saying, okay, it's okay for your child to stay back, you were like, Oh my gosh, I have been saying this for years. I have been saying this every year and they're finally listening, you know, and, and at that point you still didn't have answers. You didn't have the testing results. You didn't know what was going on, but you knew that it was your Gut instinct was telling you that it was the right decision and it was all along, you know, so

Lori: 35:47

mean, and I wouldn't change that. Holding her back was still one of the best things because of what we already were behind on. And then with COVID I mean, again, if you want to talk social emotional, I mean, that was a big piece of it. Emotionally we were immature. Based upon, you know, just other things that I was seeing. So yeah, and that's what's so interesting because, you know, as you now say that to me and I said that just out loud, it's like, you know, the, the school psychologist coming and playing the whole social emotional piece with me, but I was taking that into consideration.

Dorothy: 36:20

Yeah, you were

Lori: 36:21

You know, I definitely was taking that in and just seeing, we were behind, there's things that we're not connecting on, you know, emotionally because the maturity isn't there. So looking at the whole picture, taking all of that, into consideration and I can say, talking about having something lifted off my chest, it's like even with her new school. I mean, if something still is a bit of a struggle or whatnot and you go in and you ask the teachers for something, the emails back and the response are like, sure, we can do that. Whatever she needs. I don't have to go in feeling like I have to put on boxing gloves to fight to get something for my kid. It is just, this is what she's asking that and saying that she needs, can you do this? And I mean, I haven't been told no, you know, right now because, and they get it. They just are there to support these kids the way that they need to be supported. And it's just, it's so simple. For an example, she wanted to go out into the hall the one day to just go take her math test. She just wanted more quiet and she just likes it out there. And so she, you know, asked the teacher herself, and that's the other piece, being able to advocate for yourself. Which is something more that she's also doing and her teacher's like, yeah, go head out to the hall and take the test. If we were still in the public school system, that would not have happened unless she came home, asked me for it, then I'd have to circle back to make sure that it's put into her plan. And so it's just, it's, it's these real time in the moment moments that I need this or my kid needs that. And they're like, yep. We can do that.

Dorothy: 38:04

love it

Lori: 38:04

And so, yeah, taking off that layer where you feel like you have to, convince every single time, why you need something and why you want it done. That also has been a huge breath of fresh air that. I don't need to go on, go in with boxing gloves on.

Dorothy: 38:20

Oh my gosh.

Lori: 38:22

Not that I want to, right? You don't want to, but it's just when, when you feel like there is this resistance on the other side,

Dorothy: 38:30

Mm hmm.

Lori: 38:31

which again, they have rules and regs too that they have to follow. And I understand that, but that's where, that's where the disconnect comes, right? And again, that's why I needed to look elsewhere because I didn't want to have to, I didn't want to have to have more layers of navigating a system when I found a system that could give me exactly what I need all at the same time. And that's what fit for us, in our situation. And that's the other piece, right? Knowing what it is that your family unit needs and finding the best support system for that. And it may look different for everybody and there is no right. There is no wrong. It's just you following your gut. And being an advocate for your family as well as your children and just putting those systems into place.

Dorothy: 39:23

You're right. Way to go, Lori.

Lori: 39:26

Thank

Dorothy: 39:27

really, really. I

Lori: 39:29

and we're not, you know, and we're not done. I mean, we're not done. And, you know, the reality and the reality is, I mean, I have another daughter and I'm still, you know, looking and assessing her on everything and what's happening. Right. I mean, the job of being a parent never

Dorothy: 39:42

Mm hmm. Never, never,

Lori: 39:44

It never ends. But my God, I mean, the stuff that I've learned because of becoming curious and knowing that there has to be something else out there.

Dorothy: 39:53

yeah.

Lori: 39:54

I mean, that's just life changing there alone. So And that's why, again, we're here to share, our stories and hopefully maybe just, you know, anybody who's listening kind of has that little aha moment of, Oh, I didn't know about that or I didn't think about that. And just, sharing our information to be passed along and to see how we could help other people.

Dorothy: 40:14

Yeah, that's the point.

Lori: 40:17

Yes,

Dorothy: 40:18

All right. Are we signing off?

Lori: 40:20

we are signing off. Everybody have a great day out there.

Dorothy: 40:24

And stay curious.

Lori: 40:26

Stay curious.

40:28

The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast