Episode #16: Is It Hot, or Me? Taking Control of Midlife, One Hot Flash at a Time

Menopause is a wild ride, and no two experiences are the same. In this episode, we sit down with Carin Luna-Ostaseski, founder of Is It Hot, or Me?, to talk about the real, unfiltered journey of managing symptoms, advocating for your health, and finding solutions that actually work.

Carin shares her personal story—how she went from feeling dismissed by doctors to taking control of her menopause journey, discovering what helps (and what doesn’t), and creating a platform full of resources, products, and support for women going through the same thing. As the creator of Is It Hot, or Me?, Carin curates a carefully selected range of products designed to help women through menopause, from cooling bedding and sleepwear to libido-boosting solutions and wellness tools. She also provides a growing library of expert-backed resources, a supportive community, and even a menopause quiz to help women figure out where to start.

From hot flashes and sleep struggles to libido shifts and self-care, we cover it all—plus, Carin gives us the inside scoop on how her website is helping women take charge of their menopause experience. If you've ever felt lost in this transition, this conversation is full of insight, honesty, and humor.

Listen in as we talk symptoms, solutions, and why being your own health advocate is so important.

Visit the Is It Hot, or Me? link in the show notes for your 10% discount!

Show Notes:  

Hot or Just Me?: Peri-Menopause  & Menopause relief products - use code LETSGETCURIOUS  for 10% off

Midi Health: Online healthcare for midlife changes

The Menopause Society: website

Evernow:  Online menopause support & treatment

Dipsea Stories: Spicy audiobooks and more

Try Quinn: App for audio erotica

The Gottman Institute: Researched based organization dedicated to strengthening relationships through science backed strategies.

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Thank you for your interest!

Disclaimer:
The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

Transcript

0:00

/Welcome to let's get curious. The podcast for women and mothers seeking connection, support, and inspiration. We are friends, mothers, and therapists. Laurie, a physical therapist and Dorothy, a speech and language therapist. Together. We share our personal stories, including IVF birth experiences and navigating children's learning difficulties. Through our discussions, we uncover profound lessons for personal growth. Join us on this journey of curiosity, compassion and empowerment. Welcome to let's. Get curious

Lori: 0:38

Hello everyone and Dorothy and I are back again today and we have a special guest with us. Her name is Corinne and Corinne has reached out to us, um, to be on our podcast and share with us her menopause story. So we are so happy to have you here. Um, because this is, this is our platform, right Dede? This is our platform where we share our stories and we just want to show that we are all human. We are all going through. Something similar, if not the same thing, and to share these real life stories. And so, Corinne, we thank you for being here.

Carin: 1:14

Oh, thank you so much for having me.

Lori: 1:16

Yes. And so I would love for you explain a little bit more of exactly like how you found us, how did we pop up on your podcast search? And then we'll, get into the, the yumminess of your story.

Carin: 1:28

Yeah. So it's actually, it came up from, uh, what my favorite episode of yours is that the day I cried over granola, because I could just, I was listening to it. I was just shaking my head. Like this is me. Like we've had the exact same experience. And when you were talking about the heart palpitations, especially like that was one that hit me. Um, I was on an airplane and I was having what I thought was a heart attack and I freaked out. I was like, am I? having a heart attack here, like texting my husband, like, I love you,

DD: 1:57

Wow.

Carin: 1:58

know, I don't know what's happening to my body. So if you could talk to someone, I talked to like the flight attendant. She's like, are you afraid of flying? I said, no, not at all. I fly all the time. And you know, all of these things later on, I put it together after I like went to the doctor, I said, EKG is like the same thing that you had done. And then realize like, oh, okay, this, first off, my doctors don't know what they're talking about. I have to find the right doctor who knows about perimenopause and menopause and eventually did, thanks to some, some girlfriend medicine, I call it, you know, like, um,

Lori: 2:27

Love that.

Carin: 2:28

yeah, yeah. And then, And then realize like, Hey, you know, this is just one of many symptoms that I seem to be having right now and I'm not going crazy and I'm not alone. And so, anyway, that's how I found you. And yeah, all of these things that were happening to me, hair loss, anxiety, hot flashes, um, insomnia, like all of these things were all just brain fog. Um, we're kind of like this kaleidoscope of symptoms and then putting it together, realize like, Oh, you know, I'm not. going crazy. Um, and I'm not having all these weird temperature fluctuations asking everyone who could listen like, Hey, is it hot or is it just me? And then realize like, Hey, you know, I'm definitely in perimenopause and what can I do to help support other women that might be going through this?

Lori: 3:13

Yes. Yes. Well, and when you were on the plane and you thought that you were having a heart attack, kind of walk us through like what were those symptoms that you were feeling?

Carin: 3:24

So I've never been an anxious person. And so that's what was. so strange about this. Like all of a sudden it felt like my heart was just racing in my body and I was just like kind of overwhelmed with just like this feeling of, of stress. But you know, it was a bizarre thing. I was in the middle seat and you know, I kind of put it all together in hindsight, right? Like I just had two cups of coffee. And I hadn't slept the night before and I hadn't drank much water. So I was dehydrated and I was watching a show, which was fantastic. It's a Netflix show called beef.

Lori: 3:55

Oh yeah, I've

Carin: 3:56

but like, you know, it's a really tense show. And there was this one scene with like red lights and strobe flashing. And I basically like put myself into an anxiety attack. Um, but I didn't know that. And so, you know, kind of like looking back on it, like, okay, well, what are the things that could trigger. Feelings of anxiety, like yeah, being dehydrated, being stressed, being, um, over caffeinated, you know, all of these things. And so, I think it, it's, it's a lot like perimenopause in terms of what was happening with that symptom. Like in the moment, I didn't know what was happening, but you take a step back and you start to look at all of the other things that might be happening at the same time and you put it together and you're like, Oh, okay. I'm definitely in perimenopause. I'm 47 for the last couple of years. I've been like, you know, waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes sweating, you know, overheating for sure. Um, my periods got really heavy suddenly. So it's like, you know, going to the bathroom every hour, like what's happening here. And so just kind of seeing like, okay, these are. Individually, you'd go to the doctor and they'd be like, okay, well, for anxiety, you should take this SSRI and for, you know, sleep, you should take this Xanax. And again, I'm not a pill popper, so I was just sort of thinking like, Hey, this is not me. Like, let's take a step back and see like, what's really happening here. So. I went on this website that's fantastic called menopause. org that I encourage all listeners to go to. And there's a wonderful, section there called find a certified menopause practitioner. And uh, what I learned in my research is that most doctors in the United States, only get about three or four hours of training during their, residency on menopause. And so unless you have an OBGYN that's maybe, you know, not retired by the time they get to our age, their patients are aging, um, or they've gone through this extra level of certification, chances are they're completely uneducated in, in menopause. And so, what I, uh, learned was that if you don't have someone in your geography based on, on the 2, 500 practitioners listed. You can use telehealth as an option, right? So there's Evernow, there's midi There's, uh, alloys. There's a lot of, uh, virtual options that, that people can use. And most of them are covered by insurance.

Lori: 6:08

that's awesome. So when you were having that moment on the plane, where were you with like the night sweats? Was that your first experience and then the night sweats came or were you having some things happening prior that again, you just, you know, chalked off to poor night's sleep or I'm

Carin: 6:24

Yeah. The first one kind of, you know, in my way back Michigan was definitely like the first weird Google search was why are my periods so heavy? And, you know, again, went to the doctor, like, you know, my iron deficient, like, uh, like again, just kind of blew me off. Didn't really understand. And then, then the anxiety was the next one. Um, then I would say, started getting some of the hot flashes that, but it was more like, I didn't realize what they were at the time. Like, you know, you get the warm sensation in your face and your neck, but you just kind of, you just think that there's something, your thermostats broken or, or, you just run hotter than other people or something, and then you just kind of start to put that together as another one, brain fog, um, you know, walking into a room and more often wondering like, why was I here again? And I pride myself on being a pretty sharp person, but the, the. kind of aha moment was when I was driving a car and had the moment of where was I headed. And so that's, that's a little bit scarier. Right. And so, you know, just kind of saying, okay, I've, I've got to really take a look at what's happening here. And, you know, again, it starts with girlfriend medicine. I've got friends my age and the ones that are the most helpful are the ones that are older. Right. And so they're like, kind of been down the road and tell you like, Hey, You're a lot of this is perimenopause and these are really common symptoms. I can use this opportunity to tell listeners the top 10 if you will. Um, so yeah, irregular periods being number one, this is, you know, maybe a change in flow could be heavier, um, different, um, cycle time than you normally have hot flashes. So again, that, that warm sensation, your, you know, your mind thinks these like very minor temperature fluctuations are bigger than they are. So it triggers kind of a slight. Warming back, shoulders, neck, face, and then sweating, right? So your body's trying to cool yourself down. Um, so you can sweat during the day, but you know, uh, frequently the night sweats are the ones that are most problematic because they wake us up and insomnia kind of goes hand in hand, right? not being able to sleep so well, or, you know, waking up and not being able to fall back to sleep. Vaginal dryness, um, kind of goes in hand with low libido as well, which is another symptom. Changes in mood and irritability, so just kind of a, uh, some people might call this menorage. Um, you know, some people have accused me like being a Karen, right?

DD: 8:41

Um,

Carin: 9:01

many years for different reasons. So it's hard to. Pin down exactly what that day is. And then everything, post menopause, you know, similar symptoms, but add on frequency of urination, um, or bladder issues and also, bone health and heart health issues come along.

DD: 9:16

hosting

Lori: 9:18

yes, they do, and I'm going to add one more to your amazing list, which is also frozen shoulder.

Carin: 9:23

Oh yeah. So these are kind of, there's some that, that strike me as like, you know, not as typical, but a lot of people, there's a hundred symptoms that have been identified as common symptoms. Morphis is a great website that, over 5, 000 women have taken the survey and listed, um, some of their symptoms, but the ones that are more interesting to me, these like, phantom, um, phantom, like shoulder pain, there could be, phantom smells. So you're, you're smelling like gasoline or fire. When it's not there, there could be a burning tongue sensation. There's also ringing in your ears. So a lot of these other kind of symptoms, and it's interesting. Some of them, when I was kind of going through the list reminded me a lot of postpartum symptoms too, right? Like the hot flashes, the insomnia, the sweats, the smells, like all of the things,

Lori: 10:09

yeah. And they do say that, yes, and they do say that a lot of times like how you, how your body handled, the whole postnatal is kind of an indicator of, your perimenopausal menopausal days, which I don't. I feel like my menop like, all this stuff that I'm having now is definitely more intense

Carin: 10:28

Same. Yeah.

Lori: 10:29

my postnatal was. So I don't know how true that might be. And again, every woman is different. And some women fly, you know, fly so easily through, through the changes.

Carin: 10:39

I think it's a lot like birth stories, right? Like everyone's journey is different. Every story is different and, you know, all of our symptoms are different. They might hit us in different levels of severity at different times. Some people might get some symptoms, some might get more. So it's all just, you know, something to kind of piece together as a kaleidoscope.

Lori: 10:56

It totally is and you know the part that just fascinates me though is that like you were saying you were going to the doctor and they're doing SSRIs and they're doing you know this pill and that pill and this potion and yet none of them would even just ask the question, right?

Carin: 11:11

Yeah.

Lori: 11:12

And like when I was going when I had my heart stuff and because I have heart history problems in my family and I had gone to the cardiologist. He did say to me, and it was, it's interesting, like what he said was good, but also at the same time, I'm like, he just couldn't say it. Could you? He was like, or he's like, is there any, so, you know, he did the whole like checkup and whatnot. And, and then he says to me, he's like, is there like, based upon your age, is there anything else that you think you could be going through? So, okay. That was great. Cause I'm like, I'm in the perimenopausal phase, but it was like, why? Like, you just say it, dude, just say it.

Carin: 11:49

I just heard, um, Halle

Lori: 11:51

the witness. I like

Carin: 11:52

said the same thing. She's like that her eye doctor was like, you know, trying to like, you know, give her the sign of like, maybe it's, you know. And he is just, she's like, what? She's like, oh, you know women, you're, and he just couldn't And she's like, wait, do you mean menopause? And she's like, okay, if you can't even say the word then you're not the doctor for me.

DD: 12:10

Wow, I mean, they could have at least pulled out the change,

Carin: 12:14

He's like, I can't tell Halle Berry. She is in menopause.

Lori: 12:21

mean, and I feel like those are like the two spectrums right now, right? Where they either don't know, and they just don't, or they do know, they just don't ask. Or they like, yeah, have to like, hint to you. It's like, no, just Just say it already, you know, yeah, get you one, get yourself educated. And then to like, ask these questions based upon, yeah, based upon age. Well, and you know, the other two, um, with, with your story, Corinne was when we were, you know, talking with you prior to recording today, you had said how you had to fire your first doctor. So walk us through that. Like, why, and what made you make that decision

Carin: 12:58

Yeah, I think it was just like, you know, he, he seems like very quick to just go straight to these pretty heavy duty pharmaceutical solutions, right, that I have never really taken in my life and kind of shy away from as just someone who prides myself is like, okay, like I. I, I will try to find other, other ways, right? Holistic diet, exercise, meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy before I'm going to resort to something that, you know, I, I don't know how I'm going to react to it. And I've had a lot of friends who have been on, um, on antidepressants and two of them committed suicide. And so it's, it's a real scare for me, right? I don't want to take something that maybe I'm not ready for. And so it was, um, it was just sort of this like moment, well, what else is like, what's really happening here? Let me take a step back and say like, all right, I'm 40, you know, at this point I was like 42 and talking to girlfriends, I'm like, well, you know, are you, are you sweating a lot? Like, yeah. Like, oh, is your period weird? Yeah. And so it's just sort of like this, this moment of like, okay, well then that's, and they're like that my friend was the one that pointed out, said, you need a different doctor. And I said, okay. And, um, and she's the one that told me about menopause. org and, you know, found a different doctor. And, in reading Dr. Haver's book, The New Menopause, it was a great resource in terms of how to have conversations with your doctor about, different hormones. And so I did. And, you know, uh, when I finally found a new doctor, a woman who has been through menopause and, is, Certified as well. So she was just fantastic. And we've had a lot of conversations about, are my symptoms to the point where they're really affecting my life? And right now the answer is no. They're more like, annoyances if you will. Right. And so thinking like, all right, well. I'm still like I can handle my hot flashes when they come and go. I've become somebody who like layers my clothes. I wear these beautiful cooling jewelry, that, we sell on our website as well. I've got cooling bedding sheets and, you know, I've learned how to handle my anxiety in a really helpful and positive way that works for me. And so, you know, just kind of ruled out any like thyroid heart issues, the big stuff. Right. And I encourage everyone, if you have these things, always talk to your doctor to rule out anything more serious or underlying conditions, but then also like, what's the severity, like how. How much is this really affecting my life? And, we talked a lot about my relationship with hormones. Like, when I did, um, birth control and like what a journey that was to try to find the right one. And then, you know, how it affected my mental health. And then same thing for when I was doing IVF, and that was just, you know, big storm. And she reminded me like the, the level of hormones that we're taking during IVF are just a ridiculous amount compared to like what we would start with if we did. HRT um, and so I think I'll be ready for it soon because, um, I, I know that the earlier that you take it, the better along it is versus just waiting till the end. But for the most part, I think it'll be conversations soon, but just not immediate. And, you know, it's been just really. eye opening and heart opening to be able to say like, Oh, I trust my doctor. They have my best interest in mind. They know what they're talking about when it comes to this. And so, yeah, sometimes it's, it's a matter of pushing back and being an advocate for your own health.

Lori: 16:11

Oh, absolutely. Dorothy and I talk about that all the time, right, Dee?

DD: 16:15

Absolutely. You're in charge. Yeah.

Lori: 16:18

So, then you've been managing your symptoms for, what, the last five years? Okay. And how are you doing that?

Carin: 16:25

Um, so it just depends on what the symptom is, right? So, and you know, I can kind of go through some of the categories that we have on, on the site as examples. So, for hot flashes and night sweats, I've learned that it's important to, take magnesium at night. That's a big one for me. I've cut out caffeine completely. Um, at first I cut out my afternoon coffee and then I realized like, Hey, you know, it's not really having an impact when I take these two cups in the morning. So let's try it without. And it's been fantastic. I have amazing energy and sharpness, so I'm not using that as a, as like a, a crutch, and I'm also not getting the jitters and the anxiety that I was finding. You know, alcohol's another one that I, you know, I love, I love my drinks. I, you know, as somebody who was in the liquor industry for 10 years, I've learned that, um, I can't be a night drinker anymore. Like if I do make sure I've had a lot of water and that it's on a full stomach, but for the most part, just, you know, kind of switching to day drinking really has been, has been more helpful. Um, and then, you know, my, my, my nighttime routine, right? Like sleep hygiene, my bedroom. I used to be on one side of the bed. Now I sleep on the side where the air vent is. I keep my bedroom between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit, and it kind of kicks in, in the middle of the night. I use some of the cooling sheets that we have on, on the site, as well as a cooling blanket. And then, some of the sleepwear that we sell as well, because it's very breathable. Um, and then other things, just like if I do wake up in the middle of the night, well, how do I fall back asleep? Maybe it's a yoga nidra, a glass of water by the bed. I'm just kind of calming, calming myself down. Um, when it comes to, low libido, which is a surprisingly, that's the most popular category on our website. We have different lubricants, we have different toys, massagers, we have a link for pelvic floor exercises and, when it comes to kind of low libido, I've discovered these wonderful apps, uh, they are erotic story apps. So one is called Dipsy and the other is Quinn. And what I love about it is I'm not watching something, comparing myself to the person on the screen. Like I don't look like that or my body doesn't do that. But it's really beautiful because, you know, there might be a moment where I might not feel like I'm in the mood, but I'll say something like, you know, Oh, well, let's just listen to this story instead. And nine times out of 10, I get there, right? Like it's able to kind of get me out of my way, out of my head, out of like, you know, all these. It's like negative self talk that I might have about, whatever is going on for me. That's keeping me from getting there, but it's really beautiful. And then there's this other link that I, include on the site to Gottman Institute, which is a wonderful resource for anyone that's going through, challenges in their relationship. It's helpful in terms of, you know, removing criticism and being able to appreciate your partner. But they do have this wonderful app, uh, this free called love decks, and it's basically questions that you can ask each other, date night questions or in the car questions or getting to know your partner, right? This is your chosen person for, for this journey, right? We are changing, they are changing, the relationship is changing. So you think that, you know, somebody, but. The reality is that we were evolving and so to get really curious about your partner and they have a version of these called the salsa decks. So these are available in mild, medium and spicy. So questions just kind of like get get into the mood. So those are really beautiful too. And then we have other, we've got a bookstore, a gift shop. We have products for insomnia and fatigue. We have things that are bundled up. So, you know, kind of yeah. Grouped products like welcome to the club. We've got stay cool and calm, spice things up, sleep essentials and more. And then we also have this wonderful quiz, that you can take if you don't really know where to start. And we also have, quite an extensive resource library of articles. I'm working on a services directory as well. So just, practitioners, acupuncturists, skincare providers, therapists, so that, uh, that should be coming in the fall.

Lori: 20:17

Well, that's exciting. And, I don't think we said the name of the site that you're talking

Carin: 20:20

Sorry. So the website is hot or just me. And it's basically like the question that I asked myself for like a year was like, Hey, is it hot? Or is it just me? And they realized like, it's mostly just me. And so I thought there was a, you know, kind of a fun tongue in cheek way to bring light to, to the topic, but also something that's very real for people too. Yeah.

DD: 20:43

about your can ask real quick. Um, I have a question about your cooling blanket. So this is so not menopausal related, but my 8 year old is always hot and I'm on the hunt for a cooling blanket. So does it stay? Does it? Yeah. Tell me. So does it stay cool the whole night? Or is it something like you put on and then 10 minutes later, it's like warmed up to your body

Carin: 21:03

I mean, it's my, my little one, he runs hot and he has one too. He's like, can I have a cold blanket? Like he asks for it a lot. Um, and it's, I think it's just cold enough to kind of like get you there. But, I. Yeah, I've got one in my bedside table. So I don't use it all the time. I do like, it's not like a gigantic blanket. So it's just more personal for me because my husband doesn't need it. And I just tell people like in the use care instructions, like don't use, high heat when you're drying it because it kind of takes away the magic.

DD: 21:32

okay. Good to know. All right. Thank you.

Lori: 21:35

So, it was then you going through your menopause, well, really, perimenopause journey that then you created this business

Carin: 21:44

Yeah, yeah. And when I say like, you know, there's like this, like it's curated, but I say we have like a personal neck fan. Right. And I went out and I bought 40 different fans and try them all out. Like this one's too loud. This one is too heavy. This one runs out of batteries. This one catches my hair. So the products that are there are there for like a reason. It's not just like a bunch of different things. So that's why it's a very smaller list, but it's very well curated. Um, and we will be opening up more categories, in the coming months as well.

DD: 22:11

just

Lori: 22:12

I love that. And you said that you have a place for books, right? So have you, heard of or read the book, let me, let me pull this up really quick so I don't make sure I have the right name. You Are Not Broken.

DD: 22:24

uh, uh,

Carin: 22:25

That's, Dr. Kelly Casperson, right? Yes. So good. That one's fantastic. We have the new menopause there. We've got fast like a girl, which is, from Dr. Peltz. And, uh, the one that I'm really excited about that's coming out is called how to menopause and that's from Tamsin Fidel that should be out in, April of 25, depending on when, when our recording is released, it might, it might already be out in the world, but I love that that was just sort of a collection of all of the people that she interviewed for the M factor movie. Um, so it's a, which is a wonderful movie. It's on PBS for anyone that hasn't seen it. Um, and there's also screenings across the country. But I think that one's going to be a really great resource for women as well.

Lori: 23:05

Yes, well I had the chance to, go and listen to Dr. Kelly Casperson, and who's also in with The M Factor, and she's up here in, Bellingham, Washington, which is like an hour north of me, but I had gone to listen to her, she had the viewing for The M Factor, and she spoke, and I mean, what I love, uh, and of course I follow her on Instagram as well, but what I love about her is she brings Such light and honesty about all of this and puts like, and all the stuff that we've been scared about, she's like totally debunking, you know, so many of the myths and everything that are out there. Um, so yeah, I always, I'm always a big pusher of, of her, of her information. And, you know, and she was one, cause you know, she's a urologist and, you know, she has said straight up, she's like, listen, when I was in school, well, one, we didn't get anything about menopause. Um, but she goes, we really didn't even get anything about women's health because like, she has had professors say to her, like the woman, the woman anatomy and just how we work is so complicated. So it's kind of like, you're complicated. We're not going to worry about like learning about you.

Carin: 24:15

It's just, yeah, it's appalling, right? Like

Lori: 24:18

It is appalling.

Carin: 24:19

there considering this, I guess the stat is 1 billion women around the world going through a stage of, of menopause, right? And you know, I think generationally our moms didn't really talk about it either, right? So it's not something that was in our vocabulary or in the zeitgeist, but thankfully we're in a time now where women are taking charge of. our health. We're more outspoken about it. We're not afraid to talk about aging and in midlife. And so I hope that our children will have an easier journey.

Lori: 24:50

Yes. Yeah. Well, my girls definitely will because I have a, a pelvic floor physical therapist as a mom. So

Carin: 24:55

Yeah, no, my kids know a lot about perimenopause.

Lori: 24:58

and vulvas and you know, all these body parts, of course, they're still, I mean, they're at the age of like, mom, I'm like, Hey, this is, you know, you got to learn this stuff. You have to learn this stuff. But, well, and you know, and to the point too, with, your friends that you were mentioning, Corinne, that we're on SSRIs and everything. And that's another thing that Dr. Casperson hits, heavily is yeah, the minute we start to feel a change in our mood, that's what we are prescribed rather than looking at, let's look at the hormones, like she said, testosterone is a. It's a huge hormone that is used for libido, and libido is a mood. So we need to be looking, at other areas, um, other factors that, are driving, you know, low libido or depression and all those things. Mm hmm. Well, and we need to stop just thinking of testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone as sex hormones because they're not. They, they contribute to bone health. They contribute to brain health and all those

Carin: 25:50

Yeah. And also, you know, to not, overlook like cognitive behavioral therapy at this, this time in life where we are taking care of our children, we're taking care of our parents or maybe we're grieving our parents. And so there's a lot that's happening in terms of our careers and how we, you know, we are aging in our workplaces and putting all of that together and just not really having someone to talk with. Right. So, you know, being able to kind of let some of that steam out a little bit. And, make sure that it's okay to not be okay. Right. And to, to ask for help when you need it and let people know when you are overwhelmed, when it's too much and when you need help.

Lori: 26:26

hmm. Well, yeah, that's yeah. And there doesn't need to be any stigma, you know, around any of this stuff. And again, I'm going to quote Dr. Kelly Casperson, where she's like, all of this talk needs to be a grassroots movement, because the medicine world is so far behind that by the time anybody would get caught up in terms of being taught this stuff in school, it will be like hundreds of years.

Carin: 26:49

Yeah. And also research, right? Like if we started our studies now, like it could be 10 years before. The findings come out and change things.

Lori: 26:57

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I had just met with my doctor on Monday and I knew that I was like, my hormones were shifting again just because I'm like, Oh, getting a little more warm throughout the day. My night sweats are starting back up. Well, and even before that, just like my mood. Cause even my girl's like, mom, why are you yelling over that? Like, mom, why do you have

Carin: 27:15

It's granola again.

Lori: 27:16

it was, it was, it was little mini granola starting there for sure. And like, even my husband's like, Why did you answer me like that? And so for me, it's, it's the mood. It's that anxiety and, lack of patience that comes for me first when I could tell I'm going into a shift. And then typically it's followed by the warmth that happens. Um, but yeah, you know, I mean, I've been on HRT for a year and a half now. And I've had to have three adjustments.

Carin: 27:42

was going to say, sometimes it takes a little while to settle into the right one. And so I think that's it. It's important to talk about that. And I'd love if you could share some of

Lori: 27:51

Yeah. Well, and I think too, because the, as what's happening is right. Like the, your, your ovaries are starting to run low on making the hormones. So then they go up, they talk to the brain, Hey brain, give us, give us the signal to make more. And so this whole loop that happens is running on empty. So we end up shooting blanks, right? So it's not just like, there's your hormones. And then all of a sudden they plummet. It's like, it's this decline. And then. The ovaries trying to talk to the brain, go back down. Oh, we might have a little like spike again. Oh, now we might be dropping. And so it's, it's very erratic. It's up, down, up, down, up, down, which hello explains. Crying over granola because you feel that in your body. You're just full of angst and anxiety. And so you're just, you could feel like the spiky behavior. And so even in that year and a half that I've been on, I've had to have three adjustments because it's like, okay, this is where you are right now. This is all you need to supplement. And then, yeah, like I would ride that for months and I would feel. good and I would feel normal. And then again, probably another, another drop came naturally. And then that has to be adjusted. So I think that's also a big part to share with our listeners is, you know, just because you go on HRT, it doesn't mean like that's the, the, the amount you're going to remain on. Um, and so to find an educated practitioner who can work with you, because it's not just also about reading labs. It's really about treating the symptoms. Um, so yeah, I could tell you now, like, I'm in such a different space after a year and a half where I'm like, okay, I'm not freaked out by what I'm feeling. It's just like, okay. It's time for an adjustment and, my doctor says, she goes. It's not to take you back to the levels that you were at in your 20s, it's literally just to support your health, your mental health, your bone health, your heart health, etc. During this time, and of course you can remain on it, you know, indefinitely until you die. I mean, the research shows, you know, all the benefits, for that, but you also get to be in the driver's seat as well and choose, when you want to stop and, and all of that. But one thing that Dr. Casperson does say, Is whether you decide to do HRT or not, she strongly feels that every woman should be on vaginal estrogen because of just the, support, one, it does not go into you systemically, it supports the bladder and the urethra. So all for like those leaking moments and just vaginal health in terms of infections, UTIs and all of that. And the really cool part about that too, is that you could go on vaginal estrogen. I mean, if you're 80 and you're just learning about it now, you can. You know, get some vaginal estrogen. Obviously, it's a prescription, so you gotta still find the right doctor who will One An

DD: 30:36

Say the word estrogen

Lori: 30:38

Yeah!

DD: 30:39

and vagina.

Lori: 30:42

hopefully you find the doctor that doesn't go, you're 80, why do you want this? Right?

DD: 30:47

huh.

Lori: 30:51

would probably die before she finds the right doctor. Um, but yeah, but that's the other fun part is, or the good part, I should say, is even if you don't want to do HRT, you can still do it. still support the whole pelvic floor structures with vaginal estrogen that does not go systemic. It just stays localized and helps with, infections, which, you know, Dorothy and you and I talked about this too in a past podcast, but, you know, Dorothy and I used to work with the geriatric population for a period of our time, uh, being therapists Corinne and we can't tell you how many women, men too, but little old ladies. That would all of a sudden have confusion and you're like UTI, you know, and they would go off get pounded full of, antibiotics and then same thing, however, many weeks or months later, Mary's back, you know, with another UTI. And so even coming from, um. From a vaginal estrogen for that purpose, I mean, think what we would, one, how these women wouldn't have to be in and out of the hospitals and what we would save, in terms of medicine, the

Carin: 31:53

And the impact of the, you know, the antibiotics on the rest of their system as well and

Lori: 31:58

Yeah, all of it. So, it's a really exciting time because there's just more and more great research, that's coming out there to educate us and educate our doctors. And then, you know, people like yourself, Corinne, that what you're building, with your, Hotter Just Me, website and products and a place of resource. So that's amazing.

DD: 32:20

And I love that you you've taken control of this scary thing, I mean, the first thing you did was jump in and just you got curious. You asked a lot of questions when you were hitting dead ends. You ask more questions. You ask the people around you. You asked your tribe, and then, and from then you created this business that gave you and now other people options if they don't want to start like right off the bat with HRT, that's what it's all about. It's about. Knowing what your options are and doing what's right for you at any given moment. And like you were saying, you know, right now for you, HRT isn't the thing you're managing with all these wonderful products that you have. But you know, it's there for you if you need it

Carin: 32:59

Yeah. And I'm sure, you know, we'll be, it's just a matter of time, right? Um.

DD: 33:04

well, it's just when, when you're ready and when you feel like it's time, you know, and then in that too, I, I, I didn't know this until I started HRT myself is that you can start with like the tiniest doses. I think when I first heard about HRT before I knew all the things we talked about. It scared me, um, because I thought it was just like this one pill, this one dose, and in reality you can get this cream where it's just like one little quick click and it's just 0. 25 milligrams and let's go slow and, um, and it doesn't have to be scary and you do have a lot of options.

Carin: 33:39

And, it's like Laurie was saying, like, sometimes it's just like a, you know, a little bit of a trial and error, like just, you know, experiment, it's not like going to happen overnight. Right. It's just a little, um, conversation, right. To be in dialogue with your doctor about like, is this working? What's coming up for me? What, what might we need to change? What other symptoms have arisen? And so, yeah, it's just kind of having that, that back and

Lori: 34:01

Yes, yes. Well, and I have to say, like, when I started my HRT within two weeks, I was feeling already like better and changed. And what's interesting is because now, again, a year and a half, this is my third time of having a, a, a, Dose change. My estrogen has dropped really, really low. And so like, I'm done with the, what my doctor and I decide is like, I'm not gonna do the creams anymore, because yes, they could compound them. So you're, you're not having to put like, you know,

DD: 34:32

Silence.

Lori: 34:40

And so, yeah, I do it too, I change it two times a week and that will just, you know, remain on and I'll still do my clicks of my testosterone and, and ride this wave until the next one, you know, comes, but it's just, yeah, when I was getting all the warm flashes that were starting, during the daytime, it's just, it's amazing how, and I don't know if you experienced it this way, Corinne, but like when I get that heat, Because it's like, it's like under the skin, right? It's like this, it's almost like this body suit of heat, like all, all wrapped around you, at least that's how it is for me. And I then get like really, really hot, but I really, I get like frustrated and just annoyed and angry with it. Like, I could punch somebody in that moment, you know, and then it passes and then it's like, Oh, okay. But it's not like I'm working out and I'm getting hot. It's so fascinating. And that's the other thing too, ladies to pay attention to. It's a different type of hotness. It's not like it's I'm hot in the room. Let me take off my sweater. And then you cool down it's, or I'm, you know, I'm working out. My temperature's increasing. I got to take off my sweatshirt now that I'm hot. It's this. Internal heat that is just systemic and it's really fascinating, the emotions that it brings on. And I don't know if you have that same type of

Carin: 36:00

mine isn't coupled with emotion, but, I have a friend that you could just see it in her face. Like it's like red blotchy skin, you know, mine is definitely just more of this like feeling of like, Oh my God, like how many layers of clothes can I take off right now? Um, and they're short, like mine are, you know, they could be somewhere between like 30 seconds to like five minutes. It's not like an hour of heat, but it's like intense for a short period of time. And again, these like vary with people and, you know, some, but as you said, like yours come with emotion. Mine don't, you know, but again, it's like the next person is different. And that's what, you know, what's, what's so curious about this. It's not like, Oh, there's just like one test or like, Oh, you like tested positive for perimenopause. It's like, no, it's like just kind of putting it all together and saying like, yeah, that's a common symptom. And that's a common symptom. And together. You know, you can start to see like this, this pattern come together.

Lori: 36:50

Yes. And so with all of your tools that you have gathered throughout the years and learned, you know, for like your cooling and whatnot, how do you manage the brain fog?

Carin: 37:01

The brain fog is an interesting one for me. So I, I've definitely seen patterns when I have a bad diet, if I'm eating like overly processed foods or just not taking good care of what I'm putting into my vessel. I see it like almost an immediate difference more than I used to be in the caffeine's another one. Alcohol depends on the time of day as well. Or like what my intention is for the day. Like, is this a. You know, we're going to hang out with friends day or it's just like, Hey, I gotta be focused tomorrow. So let me just make sure of like what I'm putting into my body. Um, and I've become somebody who's like an old lady. I do Sudoku puzzles

DD: 37:38

Silence.

Carin: 37:43

So it's like, it's fine. Right. Um, and yeah, just making sure, like I use this amazing planner, it's called the productivity planner. Um, from intelligent change. I've put my little, um, this is my vision board. I printed it out and I put it on the front to kind of remind me like why these things are important. Um, but it's great. It has a habit tracker. It has, you know, breakdown by the day, time blocking, you know, with what you're going to do. So my, my whole day I like kind of plan out in the week and in the morning. So I'm like very focused about what I'm working on. So I don't. Forget or get distracted. Um, and same thing, like, you know, as I mentioned driving, like I'm now just a GPS person, I live in a small enough town that I should know where I'm going, but now I know exactly like where I'm supposed to be at what time and it's like attached to my Google calendar and my, and my ways together. So. It's just little things like that. I've noticed a big change. Um, when I took up transcendental meditation as well. So as a mom of three and, you know, working mom of three, we don't really have like any outside help or support. Like this is just like, you know, two parents doing this. It's, um, we get frazzled a lot. And so I've learned, um, to meditate and In the past when I was younger, I would try to meditate and my, this voice in my head, the inner critic, if you will, was always like, Oh, you're doing this wrong. Or, you know, all the thoughts that would come up. And what I've loved about TM is that it's like the processing of the thoughts, like the, the thinking of the emotion or the thought that passes through your brain while you're meditating is part of the stress release, right? Like it needs to come and go and it's okay. Like it belongs there and it can leave. And so just a lot of like, I don't know, a little bit more grace with myself around my meditation practice, and it's made me a more calm person and, also just like how I deal with stress has changed, because of that. And also just, you know, talking to a therapist, but really speaking emotions out loud, um, especially modeling this for my kids, right? Like, Hey, I'm feeling frustrated or I'm feeling overwhelmed. I need help or Hey. I need a break. I'm going to step out of the room for a while. And it's really cool. Cause I've seen my kids now start to do this too. And it's great. Like, you know, like they're learning at a much younger age than I did to how to have, healthy mental health habits.

Lori: 39:50

Yes, yeah. Well, Dorothy, you and I talk about that all the time, too.

DD: 39:53

Yes, yes.

Lori: 39:55

Well, and, and hence, you know, why my children are going like now, like, Mom, your tone is changing.

DD: 40:00

Uh huh.

Lori: 40:01

I'm like, you know what? You're right. You're right. And so, yeah, we, we do a lot of, different, nervous system regulation exercises. And so I'm like, okay, I think I need to go do my, my vooing or my, my, deep breathing or, whatever it is that we're, we're kind of working on for

Carin: 40:16

What was the first word you said?

Lori: 40:18

Oh, it's called Vooing?

Carin: 40:19

booing. Tell me about that.

DD: 40:21

There's, there's videos on YouTube too, you can look it up,

Lori: 40:24

Yeah. So it's a, it's about, and correct me if I'm wrong, Deedee, but, it's about when you, so like, you know, when people also, OM, right. So it's kind of along those lines and what you're doing is, is you are getting the vagus nerve incorporated. And to help with like vibration. So between the, the sound and then the vibration, and then the vagus nerve going up and all of its connections to the brain, it helps with nervous system regulation. And literally all you're doing is, is you breathe in, and then you go voooooo and you just hold it until you have no more breath. And you keep doing that until you feel Back to regulation.

Carin: 41:06

Wow. That's

Lori: 41:07

Yeah. And that's a, and that's a nice quick one. You know, the girls and I like to do that here, in the house. And there's, yeah, there's many others that, you know, we, we will incorporate, but yeah, I mean, it's just kind of fun because as. Exhausting at times as the children are, they are our biggest teachers. Are they not

DD: 41:24

hmm,

Lori: 41:27

And mirrors for sure. For sure. So, yes, I'm like, okay, girls, you're learning all about this stuff. Now, you have to learn about this now and be empowered with it because, it needs to be shared and that's why, yeah, we thank you for finding us Corinne and wanting to come on

Carin: 41:43

been such a pleasure.

Lori: 41:44

Share your story with us and, we invite others because again, girlfriend medicine, as you said,

Carin: 41:50

Yeah. I've learned a lot from both of you, so thank you as well. And yeah, for any listeners that are curious, the hotter, just me store could be found in the show notes and we set up a discount code for 10 percent off using the code. Let's get curious. And we could be found on all socials at hotter, just me.

Lori: 42:07

love it. Yes, we're going to put all that in the show notes. And, yeah, I, I love that your, that your website is, just such a great place for resources and just an information and it's not just products, right? You're, yes, you have the products, but you also have the research and all the information out there for others to continue to educate themselves because, and I think that's the other big piece with all of this is we, we talk and we share and then we need to also go out and find. Information that is, um, you know, vetted, right, to a point. And so that's great that that's what your, your space provides for our listeners as well. Yeah. Good stuff. Any final thoughts, ladies?

DD: 42:49

I don't think so. I think just thank you for coming on. It's such a pleasure. And I will be once we get off of this, I will be checking that blanket out because I'm always looking for a nice cooling

Carin: 43:00

One for you, one for your kid, yeah.

Lori: 43:03

Exactly.

Carin: 43:04

Oh, well, thank you both so much. And just for bringing a light to this topic. It's just absolutely critical for women to know that they are not alone. And so thank you. I applaud you.

Lori: 43:14

Yes, well, and thank you for reaching out. I, I, we love when we have people reaching out to us. So thank you. All right, everybody. We will see you on the other side. And remember, just stay curious.

43:26

The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast