Let's Get Curious with Replenishing Soul

Episode #17: Strength Without Setbacks: Lifting Safely in Perimenopause

• Lori & Dorothy • Episode 17

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In this episode, Lori and Dorothy tackle a trending topic that’s been making waves across social media—lifting heavy weights during perimenopause and menopause. With so much buzz encouraging women to pick up heavy weights to support bone density and strength, the hosts break down what this really means and why it's not something you should jump into blindly.

They share insights on the popular "4 reps for 4 sets" concept and explain how lifting truly heavy weight (like Lori’s 125 lb deadlift) requires much more than just grabbing a barbell. They highlight the importance of understanding form, building up gradually, and allowing the nervous system and muscles to adapt properly—especially if you’re new to strength training or returning after a break. Injury prevention is a major theme, as many women are hurting themselves by jumping into advanced routines too soon.

The conversation also dives into what good form really looks like, particularly for foundational exercises like the deadlift. Lori gives a practical breakdown of how poor form—like letting your back hunch or lifting with your spine—can derail progress and lead to pain. They also emphasize the need for good coaching, sharing tips on how to evaluate whether your trainer is actually helping or just chatting through your session.

Whether you're just starting your lifting journey or feeling unsure about how to do it safely, this episode offers valuable guidance, real-life examples, and a candid discussion on how to build strength intentionally and effectively during midlife and beyond.


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Disclaimer:
The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

//Welcome to let's get curious. The podcast for women and mothers seeking connection, support, and inspiration. We are friends, mothers, and therapists. Laurie, a physical therapist and Dorothy, a speech and language therapist. Together. We share our personal stories, including IVF birth experiences and navigating children's learning difficulties. Through our discussions, we uncover profound lessons for personal growth. Join us on this journey of curiosity, compassion and empowerment. Welcome to let's. Get curious

Lori:

welcome back everybody. Dorothy and I are here again, delivering you another podcast. And this is a topic, right, Deedee, that's been popping up quite a bit, in our, social media threads and asking us these questions about lifting heavy because, in the perimenopausal menopausal world, if that is you or soon to be you, you be may be noticing on social. It's, all these things to be lifting heavy for your bones and it's very true we need to be doing that. But we're also running into the problem of people just coming out of the gate and wanting to lift heavy because they're being told to do so. But they either have never lifted heavy before, haven't lifted heavy in a while,'cause maybe they're just out of their routine. And they're just going in like out of the gate full force and they're wondering why they're getting injured, why it doesn't feel right, um, and then questioning is this something that I should really, really be doing? So we thought it would be a great opportunity to, pop on and do a podcast of what it is that you need to know before jumping in and lifting heavy. So that's what we're gonna cover today, right, Dee?

Dorothy:

Right.

Lori:

Okay. So what we're gonna first start with, so the magic number that's being thrown around out there is lifting heavy is four reps of weight for around four sets. And so this is really heavy, significant weight. I wanna just make that clear. This isn't just lifting up a 10 pound dumbbell, depending on the exercise, you may be starting to kind of get there in your, your 20 pound dumbbells, but we're also talking like dead lifting. And so for example, my deadlift right now is 125 pounds. My

Dorothy:

what a deadlift is, Lori?'cause there may be people that have never

Lori:

yes,

Dorothy:

done a deadlift. Yeah. So maybe you could explain that

Lori:

Yes. Um, so a deadlift is where you are going down into a deep squat,

Dorothy:

Okay.

Lori:

having to keep your heels down on the ground, your back up, your head looking forward. And then from there, in that deep squat, you're holding a barbell of weight and then rising up with it.

Dorothy:

It.

Lori:

And we're gonna get into a little bit more of those specifics, um, later on when we start talking about form. But that's what a deadlift is. And so you're doing a full squat and then lifting weight from there. So pretty much your're lifting with your legs, which means because your legs are the biggest muscle groups, your glutes, your quads, your hamstrings, you could lift a. Or at least you, once you've progressed, you could be lifting some really good heavy weight there. So I'm at 125 pounds, right? So that's, I mean, that's pretty significant. And right around that 4, 3, 4 rep mark, it gets hard for me. So that's how I also know that I'm at the, at the right weight, so that four reps of four can be different for any joint that you're moving. So obviously I'm not gonna lift 125 pounds with my shoulders, right? So that's gonna be a different weight. And we're gonna get into those specifics of like the, how's a little bit later, but I just wanna kind of put that in reference of like, really, what is that? Four reps of four sets. So it is pretty significant weight and as I mentioned, you can't just come outta the gate all of a sudden never lifting or haven't lifted in a while. Or maybe you've been lifting but just not super heavy, and then all of a sudden be lifting these heavy weights off the ground, you're going to get injured. And that's the whole purpose. Well, one of the main purposes of this podcast is to walk you through to prevent injury, because we all know once that injury sets in, where does your mindset go? This isn't for me. I can't do it. I don't wanna risk injury. And then you stop, and then you don't do anything, which you know is not good either. So number one, before you get into those heavy reps of four by fours, this is what you are gonna need to know. Okay? So number one, preventing injury. You can't go from lifting, lightweights or no weights to suddenly handling heavy loads without. Consequences. Okay. So your nervous system and your muscles, they need time to respond. And as I tell people all the time when I'm rehabbing them, muscles are dumb. Muscles do what we tell them to do. So if we're telling them to do the exercise incorrectly, that's what they're gonna do. It's your nervous system that actually tells your muscles what to do. So again, if you're not understanding the proper form of an exercise and you're doing it wrong, you're just setting yourself up for injury. So your nervous system as well as your, as your muscles, they need time to respond. And you need to be repeating the correct movements for a while before the nervous system learns how to do something. Um, and then again, if you skip this step, you're gonna be on the fast track to injury, which of course means. You're gonna be coming and seeing somebody like me, you're gonna be going to physical therapy and trying to have to unwind that low back injury that you caused yourself at the gym. Okay? So number one, you always wanna keep that in mind. Prevent injury first. Number two, form is everything. So I don't care if you're just standing there even doing just a bicep curl. So a bicep curl is where you're having your elbow straight to all of a sudden bending your hand up towards your shoulder. If you are doing that deep deadlift that I mentioned and spoke about in the beginning, form is everything. And deedee, I cannot tell you

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

I go to the gym, I literally have to put blinders on because there are so many people doing exercises incorrectly and a lot of times, even when they are with trainers.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

So, again, you gotta be careful too, like when you are picking somebody, you know, a professional to help you, you wanna, I mean, it helps that they know what they're also talking about and what I end up. Yeah. So

Dorothy:

So let ask you this. Can I ask real quick, so how. Do you find, are there certain credentials that people should be looking for or certain, like how do we know when someone's a good trainer or not? Because I, I'm not, you and I don't have your PT background, but I have spent multiple decades of my life working out, being at a gym learning proper form. And I too can walk into a gym and realize that most of those trainers that work at, at least like the big chain gyms that I belong to are completely teaching incorrectly.

Lori:

Mm-hmm.

Dorothy:

Um, so I can spot it, but I think most people probably can't. So how, how do you find a good trainer? Do you want

Lori:

a loaded, yeah, I mean, it's a loaded question because, you know, again, I can, I can say, look for this, um, the, this initial after somebody's name, that initial after somebody's name, but that also means nothing, you know, and I, this is what I would say this is, and I, I would say this is what I've probably observed the most throughout the years is, I mean, yes, there you could look at somebody's credentials. So usually anybody like certified from, personal training, like for the initials are NASM. Like that's a really good certification program. They get into anatomy, all that stuff. But, you know, again, what comes with this is experience too, and, but this is what I would say. If you are with a trainer and all that trainer is doing is giving you an exercise and then chatting your ear off while you do the exercise, my radar would go up on that. And it's not that you can't chit chat, as you're there in this environment, but your whole, your entire hour that you're with this trainer or this person that you've hired should not be chatting your ear off.

Dorothy:

Yep. Great

Lori:

They should be watching your form and giving you cues for correction. So that's why I say like, I, you know, to go down that route of like, this certification, that certification, yeah, there's some that hold more weight than others. But, I think it comes down to what are they doing with you in the gym?

Dorothy:

During the movements,

Lori:

During the movements. Mm-hmm. Yeah. A perfect example as I was at the gym the other day, and there was this, this woman, she's getting, trained by a younger female teaches classes there, you know, at this gym that I go to, and of course I can't help but to have my, my ear radar go off and I hear her say, okay, we're gonna do some dead bug exercises. Go ahead and lay down on the floor. So a dead bug for anybody who doesn't know. It's actually a really great deep core exercise where you're laying on your back and you, there's different ways to make it easy and hard, but ideally you're taking, I say my, your right arm over your head towards the ground while your left leg is coming down to the ground. Then you're bringing the, those two extremities up, and then it's the opposite. It's the left arm, back, right leg down. Okay? And so you're doing this back and forth movement of the arms and the legs. So I hear her, okay, go ahead. Lay down on the ground and let's do some dead bugs. And then she starts chitchatting with her. was no cues about making sure her low back stays against the floor. There were no cues about how she should be breathing for this exercise.

Dorothy:

Wow.

Lori:

Breath is so huge in that exercise because that's really how you start to target the deep core. It's how you start to engage the pelvic floor. It's how you reduce pressure in the abdomen. It's how you're going to get true benefit of that exercise by coordinating your breath with this movement, while also making sure that your belly's not doming and your low back isn't coming off the ground.

Dorothy:

Right, because otherwise you're, you're, you're exercising your back and not your core.

Lori:

You're, yep. You're, you're using your back incorrectly. And then you're also over utilizing your hip flexors rather than your deep core, which most of the time our hip flexors don't really need tons of strengthening because they're usually tight because we just, you know, spend so much time sitting. They could also be weak from sitting. But that's a whole other, that's a whole other anatomy. Lesson D. Yeah. Different podcast. But the point is, is like, yeah, okay, we're gonna do the dead bug, lay down, right arm down, left leg down, and then the talking just kept continuing. So that's really what I would say. That would be my number one advice. If you have a trainer who just chats your ear off. Now, if you've been with them for years and you just, you're at the point that you know how to do the exercises correctly, you feel like you're getting stronger from these exercises. Your weight have gone, has gone up, like you've improved with your trainer, you're probably on the right track. But if you're just there chit chatting away and going through the motions with your. Program, you're probably not with the right trainer or physical therapist or, you know, any, even your healthcare practitioners for, for that sense. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's, that's my 2 cents on that one, Deedee.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm. That's the great info.

Lori:

It's almost like a soap box of

Dorothy:

It's, no, I love it. No, I love it. And I, and I think it's a great

Lori:

don't get me started. Yeah, yeah. Don't get me started.

Dorothy:

I am paying you to exercise not to talk. I've got friends for that. I'm not your therapist.

Lori:

right. That's right, that's right. Well, you can multitask, right? But I, but, and again, there might be like, there's that one more challenging exercise. Like, okay, you know what, hold on, let's put that conversation on the back burner and let's like, focus on this. Okay, I've noticed you're not timing your breathing. You're, you know, your back's coming off the ground. Let's, let's, let's work on this and then go back to your chit. Um, okay. So as I said before you start getting into that four by four lifting, we want a number one, prevent injury. Number two, you have to know form and again, if you need help in this area, yes, as we said, you can go the trainer route. Um, but also there's so many great videos too on YouTube, and so you can scour that. And if you have any questions about what is the proper way to do a deadlift? What is the proper way to do an overhead press, right? So you can utilize those resources, before you head out and just assume you know how to do everything.'cause again, we want that good form so we can prevent injury and strengthen the right muscles,

Dorothy:

Right.

Lori:

strengthen the right muscles. Um, so kind of elaborating a little bit more on the deadlift as we did in the beginning here. When we're talking about form for the deadlift, one of the biggest mistakes that I see people making is they will squat down and they don't keep their heels down on the ground. Sometimes that's also due to, tight ankles or limited mobility in the hips. But then what they start to do, Didi, is they'll start to hunch their back to bend over to grab the weight.

Dorothy:

Hmm.

Lori:

No-no, because now as you're bending over, you're hunching your, your back to get that weight rather than keeping it up nice and tall with the head. Looking forward, what you're doing is, is your low back is now. Being recruited to lift that heavy load rather than your glutes and your quads and your hamstrings. And that is where people get the low back injuries. And that's what was happening with, this woman that had, asked me to help her, at the, at one of the gyms, that I was working at the one day. And we really broke down the movement for her, um, where we weren't even using weight. And she was finding how challenging it was to just go down into a proper squat, heels down, head and chest up and just move through that movement. And she was one of those that was doing the hunched over lifting the, the heavy weight off the floor. And she was like, oh my goodness. She's like. This is why it wasn't feeling good. She goes, just from you watching my form and removing the weight, she goes, I now feel my glutes kicking in.

Dorothy:

Wow.

Lori:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So again, if you're feeling like, and that's the piece, right? You have to understand what the, what the exercise truly is about targeting. So a deadlift is about strengthening your, your legs,

Dorothy:

Okay.

Lori:

not your low back. You'll get some strengthening because yes, you're still incorporating the back into it, but you are not meant to lift with the back.

Dorothy:

Makes sense.

Lori:

Mm-hmm. So if you understand what the movement is supposed to be strengthening, and then you're feeling soreness in other muscles, that shouldn't really be sore, that's also your indicator that you're not in good form. And again, that's what your trainer should be asking you, okay. After we did this exer, because, you know, sometimes you could put somebody, it's in a better form. It might not be a hundred percent, but you, it's a, it's a progression, right? You're so, if somebody's tight in the ankles or the hips, then even when you do correct them, they could still be feeling some soreness in other body parts that they shouldn't be because they still can't really get into that proper form, but you at least know that you're progressing them because you're moving them in the right direction. When you're working with that trainer or that therapist, they should be asking you when you see them again, whether it be in a couple days or the next week, how did you feel when we did this exercise or that exercise? Oh, you know what? After the deadlifts? Yeah. Like, I felt it in my glutes, you know, a couple days later. Perfect. We're, you know, you're feeling it in the right spot. Oh, no, I'm, I'm just feeling it, you know, in my, in my low back, my low back kind of got tight and spasmed on me. Okay. Indicator we still don't have you in the correct form,

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

so use, yeah, use that also everyone as your guide of like, where are you getting the soreness? Is it appropriate for the exercise that you're doing?

Dorothy:

for me. My, i, my neck gets sore if I'm not doing the right ab exercises.

Lori:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because it's trying to recruit for the weakness that you have mm-hmm.

Dorothy:

Yep. So that is my, my gauge.

Lori:

That your gauge. Yeah. And it's an appropriate one. So our neck, I mean, everything's connected, right? So yeah. Your neck compensates for the weakness in the abs.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

So that's your indicator of when you start to know, like, when you start to push yourself, right. Too much in a, in a core exercise. Yeah. It's fascinating, isn't it? How it's all connected.

Dorothy:

body's so cool.

Lori:

I love it. I love it. Okay, so number three, everyone. What we need to do and know before we start lifting into lifting super heavy, we need full range of motion. So full range of motion means that you're moving the joint through its entire movement. So again, I'm gonna take the biceps for example. I think everybody knows that body part pretty well. So again, I am doing a bicep curl. I'm having my arm all the way down by my side. It's open, and then I'm bringing my hand up towards my shoulder. So I'm bending my elbow. So from a full straight elbow to a full bent elbow that is full range of motion.

Dorothy:

Okay.

Lori:

So another thing, what do I see people doing in the gym? And here's a, it's mainly guys because they gotta lift the heaviest weight that they possibly can. But then they sit there and they do these tiny little pumping reps,

Dorothy:

Well, you know, they do those in exercise classes too. Back in the day when I was doing like the cross training classes, it would be like full range and it would be like, let's pulse it for a minute, you know, and three pound weights. Let's pulse it, let's pulse it,

Lori:

Yeah. Those little isometrics and those little pulses here and there. I mean, it's, it's not, it's not bad. But I mean, there's people that will spend most of their workout in these small movements just so that they could lift heavier weight

Dorothy:

and they look cool, right?

Lori:

But you're not gonna be cool when you shorten your muscles so much. You're then walking around with T-Rex arms.

Dorothy:

That will not attract the ladies

Lori:

That will not attract the ladies. You might have big bulging biceps, but you're gonna have T-Rex arms. I mean, Ew. No.

Dorothy:

No thank you.

Lori:

my God, no. Thank you. No T-Rex arms.

Dorothy:

Oh gosh. I will forever see that now.

Lori:

I know, right?

Dorothy:

ever be the image when I go to the gym. Now

Lori:

Who has T-Rex arms?

Dorothy:

I know I.

Lori:

No, because here's, here's the thing. When we work full range of motion, it lubricates the joints. It keeps flexibility. Right? And that's one thing, especially as we're aging, we need to keep flexibility. So if we're only working always in these small ranges of motion, we're we're not getting the full benefit, the muscle's not getting the full benefit, you're not gonna gain strength the way that you want to or can, and then you're only going to be making those joints. Shorter and tighter,

Dorothy:

Makes sense.

Lori:

you know? Well, and a perfect example, it's like, again, working with the geriatric population, all those individuals who would spend so much time sitting in chairs, what would get super tight on them, they're hamstrings to the point we would get what's called contractures, right? So when you're not moving a joint and a muscle through its full range of motion, it gets shorter and tighter and then when you do go to try to like stand up or walk or move, you're there with your knees bent and you can't, it takes a lot of work to get somebody out of a contracted state

Dorothy:

Or sometimes you can't, I mean,

Lori:

and sometimes you can't.

Dorothy:

I've worked with those patients that are just curled up in a ball, you know, laying on their side. And my job, I'm a speech therapist. I, when I worked in the hospitals, um. Some, if they were on their side, I would have to position them on their back so I could give, because I was assessing their swallowing, so of course we had to get them up and I would just roll them over and then their bent knees would just roll over with them. Just like, like a statue? Yeah.

Lori:

Exactly. Yeah. So if you're in that position for very long periods of time, yeah, those muscles can end up staying like that. So again, as we're in, in our midlife and we're going through our perimenopause and menopause, it's all this stuff of, remembering how the body moves. And that's the piece that I really wanna also remind people as we go through this podcast. We are meant to move. We are meant to move through full range of motion. There's so many benefits. So if you are lifting a weight. Where you cannot take it through its full range of motion. So even, for example, if I am doing a shoulder press, okay, so my, um, kinda like, think of like a scarecrow, everybody, okay, so my elbows are up in line with my shoulders. I'm holding weights in my hands and my hands are like, kinda like by my ear. So I'm kinda like in this like w shape and as I'm pressing my arms up, overhead towards the ceiling, if I am lifting a weight that's too heavy and I can't get my arms all the way extended, or my elbows all the way straight, the weight's too heavy.

Dorothy:

Right.

Lori:

Right. Or if I'm pressing up towards the sky and then I start to make my body go into this like, funny move, like I'm popping my hip, my, my ribs forward. Um, or I'm just trying to like, I have to scooch off to the side to like push my arms up. If I'm starting to compensate with other movements, the weight is too heavy and you're not ready for it. Does that make

Dorothy:

And, uh, when it does, and when you're going up, are you locking your elbows or do

Lori:

You don't really wanna, like, you're not locking Yeah. I mean, like, you wanna,'cause obviously you don't wanna like, come up so hard that you're jamming the joints. Yeah. But I mean, you wanna make sure that you are, as, as straight as straight can be, but you're not, you're not forcefully jamming them. Does that make sense?

Dorothy:

It does. I, I'm just remembering that a lot of times I'm hearing that we need to have a slight bend, like keep a slight bend in the knee, keep a slight bend in

Lori:

Softness is good. A little bit of softness is good. Yes, absolutely. Um. So again, if you are using your body in other ways, you're using what's called com compensatory movements. To move a weight through the full range of motion, that weight is too heavy. Or if you just can't go through the full range of motion, the weight is too heavy and you don't wanna be, you don't wanna be there.'cause again, what does the body do naturally? It wants to protect us. So if we're not getting that full range of motion for whatever reason, and we're compensating and using other muscles to complete that movement, it's gonna cause an injury

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

rather. And it could be just a minor one, you know, a pulled muscle, right? Where you're like, you're out for a couple days and then you're back. But that's your indicator. You're going too heavy.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

Okay. Number four, one of my biggest ones breathe. You have to breathe when you are lifting. And again, I cannot tell you how many times, like just, I, I really want everybody to just test this throughout like their week. Whenever you're like opening a heavy door, lifting up the laundry, um, carrying something heavy from the car, whatever it might be, pay attention to how much you hold your breath.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

People don't realize how much they hold their breath when they're having to lift something heavy. And it's the opposite of what we want to do. Um, because one, when you are holding your breath, you're putting pressure down into the abdomen, down into the pelvic floor, and if you already have leaking issues, you're only gonna create more because there's pressure that pressure's coming down and out, which means the urine could come down and out. When you are holding your breath or breathing shallow, you are not getting a natural corset of the back muscles to engage, which then what ends up happening is, is when your back muscles are not your low back and your deep abdominals are not engaging properly, they're not giving the spine a stable surface to move from. So what I mean by that, as I exhale forcefully, my pelvic floor will naturally lift up my deep abdominals and I li Lily, like want you to think of like that corset. Like if I put somebody in a corset and you take the sides of the corset and you pull the sides and it makes everything nice and tight, that is what breathing is supposed to do. For us is to be that natural corset. So as I'm blowing out that corset is getting tighter, the pelvic floor is lifting up, my abdominals are contracting in towards each other, and even my low back will will through what's called the thoracolumbar fascia will pull from the back just like a corset. And when you have that nice stable base, you're creating a nice, stable base for them, the spine to move from. So think of those structures, the pelvic floor, the abs, the low back, the diaphragm on top. It's creating a strong foundation just like you have a foundation in your house for the spine to move from. So if you're not breathing properly and you're not building, and that strong, stable foundation, the spine. Has nothing to be stable from. And then that's when you start to get the other compensatory movements that could happen. And again, injury happens from there because you're not strong and stable. Does that make sense?

Dorothy:

a hundred percent.

Lori:

Awesome.

Dorothy:

So take me through. Yeah. So take us through an exercise and show us what we need to be doing. Or just, or just tell us what to do.

Lori:

Yes. So I'm gonna use, I'm gonna use a squat for an example, because again, remember, squats can be done from your chair right at home, from your living room chair. So as you are going down into the squat, that is your inhale. And when you take an inhale in, your belly should expand out, right? Because think of like you're blowing up a balloon. Think of your be your whole abdomen is a balloon. When you blow air into a balloon, it gets bigger, right? So you're inhaling through that nose, nice and big, you're belly is going out. The pelvic floor naturally drops down. So as you go into the squat, you are inhaling. And then as you are coming up from that squat, you wanna exhale forcefully, like strong birthday candle lips. And then as you are exhaling, it's really good to also practice. Can you get your pelvic floor to do a natural squeeze and lift. So as I'm exhaling, I'm also consciously squeezing my pelvic floor and lifting the pelvic floor.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

And this is important everybody, because most of the time as women we are prescribed Kegels, and when the doctors who are prescribing the Kegel will give you the cue, act as if you're stopping the flow of urine. That is partly right. One, we don't wanna be thinking of as stopping the flow of urine because then that leads to other brain pelvic floor connections that can kind of mess things up. But when you're only stopping the flow of urine, you're only getting a squeeze and a full pelvic floor contraction. Full range of motion. We even have a full range of motion of the pelvic floor DD that full range of motion is a squeeze of the pelvic floor and a lift of the pelvic floor. So that's another thing to play around with. Can you just stand in your kitchen, take a nice big inhale in as you're exhaling, can you squeeze and lift your pelvic floor? If you can't, you can't feel it, you kind of get it, then you lose it. The last thing you wanna be doing is add, adding heavy weights to your program. You're not gonna be able to lift them'cause you don't

Dorothy:

Or lift. Or lift them correctly.

Lori:

lift them correctly. So a cue that I like to use too is, you know the arcade games with the claw?

Dorothy:

the claw machine.

Lori:

Yes. Yeah. So that claw goes down, okay, that's your inhale and the claw opens. So think of that as your inhale. Your inhaling the claw goes down. The claw opens. As you are exhaling, that's the claw. Squeezing the toy and then drawing it up and back in. Right? It's coming up outta the machine.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

So that's the cue I like.'cause I think we all know what that machine is. And that's the thing when you're feeling that lift everybody, you think of drawing that toy, that blueberry, whatever is your visual all the way up to almost like the base of your sternum.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

How far can you lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift. That is a full pelvic floor traction.

Dorothy:

Wow.

Lori:

So I'm inhaling down on my squat. The claw is opening. I am exhaling through my birthday candle lips'cause that forceful exhale helps me with managing pressure. In, in the abdomen, and then I'm continuing to blow out and I'm squeezing, lifting, lift, lift, lifting my pelvic floor as I stand back up out of my squat. Now, if you're just practicing squats in your chair at home, you're not gonna need a really strong pelvic floor contraction to do that. If you just practice normal breathing. I'm inhaling and I'm exhaling, I'm inhaling, and I'm exhaling. That's perfect, because the contraction for that movement meets the demand, right? You're, you're only lift, you're lifting your body weight. When I start loading myself for that squat, I need to be more forceful with my exhale, more forceful with and conscious with my pelvic floor contraction, because I now have a heavier load. Therefore, I need to make sure those muscles are recruiting even more. Does that make sense?

Dorothy:

Absolutely.

Lori:

So again. Walking through the squat. I inhale on the way down. I exhale birthday, candle, lips, squeeze, lift pelvic floor. As I stand back up, inhale down, exhale, stand up.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

If I'm lifting a baby out of a crib, I'm inhaling down as I lift the baby, get the baby. I'm exhaling. As I lift the baby out of the crib,

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

I'm carrying my load of laundry. I'm inhaling as I go to pick up the laundry. I'm exhaling as I pick up the laundry.

Dorothy:

Makes sense.

Lori:

Vacuuming, you know how there's always suction with the vacuum?

Dorothy:

I was just vacuuming today and was annoyed at the suction.

Lori:

It's a, it's a great time to practice your pelvic floor. Yes.

Dorothy:

Tell me, tell us all

Lori:

now I'm trying to remember where the suction right. The suction is on, on the pool.

Dorothy:

on the pole. Mm-hmm.

Lori:

So I'm inhaling as I extend my arm out and make the vacuum go away from me. I am exhaling as I'm pulling the vacuum towards me.

Dorothy:

Makes sense.

Lori:

Inhale as the vacuum goes out. Exhale as the vacuum comes in. Mm-hmm. So again, as you're even just doing these day-to-day movements, check yourself, where am I holding my breath? And that's what I would tell my patients all the time. I'm like, for the next two weeks, all I want you to do is go out and pay attention. Where do you hold your breath?

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

Check yourselves. Do you hold your breath when you're getting up outta bed in the morning or at night to go pee? You shouldn't be, you should be blowing out. Like if you are weak in the core. You need help. Most of the time people will like, use their hands, hold their breath to push themselves up to sitting. You shouldn't have to, you should just be able to like stand up. The course should naturally kick in, but if you're weak, you're gonna, you're gonna do that, you're gonna find yourself holding your breath, especially like right after having a baby. So if you're in those really early prenatal months, use your hands, but blow out as you're getting up so you're not putting increased pressure down into the abdomen.

Dorothy:

Makes sense

Lori:

Mm-hmm. So, yeah,

Dorothy:

because I remember when I had, when I gave birth, I felt like I had no control of my abs

Lori:

oh, I didn't, oh my God. I, I naturally went to go sit up the one day and I was like, oh my God, there's nothing there.

Dorothy:

Nothing. And that's

Lori:

Do you wanna know why that

Dorothy:

tell me yes because I'm assuming because everything lengthened is my guess, but I don't know.

Lori:

Very good guess yes. So

Dorothy:

you. Well, you're my friend, so you probably told me that and it just got stored. Laurie.

Lori:

Well, yeah, the baby, the baby's in there. I know we're kind of, we're kind of digressing here for a quick second, but, but it's, but it all goes together. It

Dorothy:

it's all

Lori:

together because here's the thing, everybody, back to the heavy lifting. If you cannot lift your own body weight, you should not be adding weight. So if you need your hands to get up out of bed, or you're holding your breath to get up outta bed, the last thing you wanna be doing is laying down and doing sit-ups with a weight.

Dorothy:

that makes a lot of

Lori:

Right?

Dorothy:

What if you are sitting on a skateboard? This was me today. I'm sitting on my child's skateboard because this is his first time on a skateboard. So he decided that we're gonna just be like sitting on it and pushing ourselves, you know, and at the skate park and down the ramps. So, um, what if like, I am sitting on the skateboard and then I can, can't get up off the skateboard. I have to like, roll over to the sun. Well, I mean, I have to over and push off off the

Lori:

Yeah, that's okay. If that's where you are right now, then that's okay. But remember, breathe. Breathe as you're rising up. So, yes, to get back really quickly. So the reason why it's really hard for us to then re-engage our abs is because they've been stretched all pregnancy, though. The, they're just, they're stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch. Because of being stretched, they kind of like turn off. And what I mean by that, like, the abs in the brain aren't really communicating as well as they could be.'cause they're just, they're turning off essentially. And so when that baby then comes out, we have to reteach, uh, ooh. What was that? What step was that? One or two? Or number two when I was talking about the nervous system. We have to retrain the nervous system. So when you have that baby and the abs are turned off, you have to retrain that nervous system for the brain to communicate to the abdominals.

Dorothy:

Fascinating.

Lori:

Make sense? I know. It's so fascinating. Um, so yes, everybody, breathe, breathe, breathe. If you have leaking issues, breathe, breathe, breathe. And that was the other really cool thing when I was helping this lady in the gym, just practicing her form and getting breath. And we started to add just a little bit of weight.'cause sometimes a little bit of weight helps you get back a little bit into the position with a little bit more ease. And she was amazed. She goes, oh my God. She's like, I'm not leaking. And I was like, no, because you're breathing and you're getting the pressure out of the abdomen, out of the pelvic floor, so the leaks aren't gonna come down and out because everything's going up and in. And she's like, just through, through breath. I was like, just through breath. So breathe everybody when you exercise, breathe. Uh, number five, mindset. We have to have a mindset going into this because you know what? We're all guilty of this. We go through, we read this, we get excited. Okay, I'm gonna try that. I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try this, but not remembering where we're coming from, right? So I want you to think of this as a marathon and not a sprint. So again, lifting heavy isn't a quick fix. It's a long-term goal. If you jump in too fast and get injured again, what are you gonna say to yourself? This isn't for me. I knew I shouldn't have even started. I knew this wasn't my thing. No, take your time and build slowly. And then we kind of already touched upon this to get a trainer. To invest in a trainer.'cause a lot of times too, some people have never been into the gym, some people are very overwhelmed by the gym. So, um, you know, you could have a home gym, right? You could have somebody come to your house, but if you don't know about lifting and form definitely bring somebody in to help you. And then, like I said, I would just, I would just pay attention to how much they talk to me versus how much they actually coach me through, an exercise.

Dorothy:

And the other thing that I found helpful when I hired a trainer was to have them or someone else videotape me doing the movements correctly, so then I could watch it later. Right? So that way maybe you don't have the trainer for months and months, you hire someone, you learn how to do it correctly. You, you have a videotape of it that you can follow. Make sure that your gym has mirrors. Can I tell you my gym has so few mirrors. Is that bizarre? It's, it's bizarre. I, I can't believe I'm saying that out loud.'cause of course you'd assume, but no, it's hard for me to find sometimes a space where I can be in front of a mirror to make sure I have proper form to my exercises.

Lori:

No, but that's, you bring up a really good point. Yes. Use mirrors because it gives you what's what we what and we use'em a ton in therapy. It gives you that biofeedback. You get to look and watch and see and can check yourself from different angles. So yes, so those are my suggestions, Didi, for what you need to know before going in and lifting heavy. Okay. So those are the things I need to be watching for and kind of gauging, but exactly how do I then start to really build strength? So, number one, finding your starting weight. Well, first of all, before you even find your weight, remember if you cannot lift your own body weight, that's where you wanna start. That's number one. If you can't get out of a chair or get into like a nice proper squat without using your hands, you should not be loading yourself. So your body weight is where everybody should start. If you have that down, then the way to find your starting weight is pick a weight that allows you to do about 10 reps. So let's just say, okay, I'm gonna do my biceps right and I'm going to grab, it's been a while. I'm, I'll grab the eight pound weight. If you can do that eight pound weight and you do it 10 reps and it feels pretty light to you at 10 reps, bump it up by a pound or two. What you wanna be feeling for is the weight that you're choosing. Is it starting to get heavy around rep six and seven? Then by rep 10, like you're really, like, you're really having to blow out and complete that movement. So even before you go to the four reps of four sets, you need to stay around that 10 rep range for couple months and build adequate strength.

Dorothy:

Makes sense.

Lori:

So again, pick that weight. It starts to get tiresome. You're working hard around that rep six, rep seven by rep 10. It's somewhat of a struggle, but you're still able to complete that full range of motion that we talked about.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

That's the weight you stay at, stay at that weight for, a couple weeks. And then You realized the eight pounds was too easy. Oh, the 10 pound is what gave you that workout. Stay at that 10. Pound weight for three sets of, 10 for a couple weeks. And when those three sets of 10 become like, okay, like almost like, again to the point you're not even thinking about it, bump yourself up another one or two pounds. And again, am I getting fatigued around that six and 7:00 AM I really like struggling, but I can still complete full range of motion around rep 10. And then you stay there for a couple weeks?

Dorothy:

And should we be doing these weight training exercises every day, every other day, or how often

Lori:

would say, again, depending on your schedule, I like a minimum of two times a week for weight training. If you can get in a third, that's great. But I mean, um, like two is, is good because your muscles also need some time to recover. Because here's the thing too, when we lift weights, it's not just about. The muscles getting stronger, the nervous system takes a load. And so the nervous system also needs time to rest and reset.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

And if you don't give the muscles and the nervous system time, you're not gonna make progress. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So again, you're working around that three sets of 10 for two or three months, and again, maybe even like a bit longer before you really start to go in to those four reps of four sets, and remember what you're doing for every single joint, for your biceps, for your shoulders, for your squats, for your lunges, for your twists, your pulls, your pushes. You want to be assessing what that weight is for each one of those motions. Because each body part's gonna be able to handle a different weight because of the size of the muscle. So again, if I'm doing my deltoids and I'm taking my arms out to my sides, like away from my, from my hips and out to the side, like almost like making snow angels in the snow,

Dorothy:

Yeah. Like half snow angels.

Lori:

half snow angels. Exactly. Those should or my muscles are, are small. They might handle, six pounds, eight pounds, right? You start getting into like 10 and 12 and 14, that's heavy. But a bicep can, easily handle, 12, 14 pounds more with ease, right? So again, you just wanna assess for each motion that you're doing, you are following that 10 reps. Is it getting challenging around six or seven? Am I really working hard around rep 10 and stick around there for a while before you up yourself another one to two pounds and do that for several months. Just get strong um, and again, it's hard to give people like a timeframe, but I think if you've never lifted or haven't lifted in a while, you should go a good six months with just what I just described just working that 10 reps of three sets for a while and just building that strength up because to go heavy at four reps, I mean, think about it, like there's a

Dorothy:

of weight.

Lori:

of weight there. And so again, if you're tight in your joint spaces, if you're weak in the muscles and you don't have those foundational skills that we just went through, you should not be lifting crazy heavy. Mm-hmm. No, no. Um. Again, regardless of the, the amount of weight that you're lifting, always again, remembering you need the full range of motion. You need the form and you need the breathing. Um, and then again, if something doesn't feel right back off, there are some days, depending on how busy I am or how I slept the night before, I have all great intentions of, you know, going in and doing my deadlift and then I start, you know, and I always warm up. I don't just go right into 125 pounds. That's the other thing. Everybody like, warm up. I start with the bar, I gotta get the brain talking to the muscles. Okay, I gotta get the breathing. I gotta wake up that nervous system. I warm up with my bar. Then I add,

Dorothy:

What bar? Wait a minute, what kind of bar? I, I'm not

Lori:

oh, like the, the long, yeah. So when you're doing the, the deadlifts, you're using the long,

Dorothy:

Oh, got it.

Lori:

press bars?

Dorothy:

Got it.

Lori:

Yes. Um, and the bar alone is like 45

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

So I, some, I warm up with just the bar and then I add 10 pounds on each side and I warm up with that. And then I get into my 125 that I then start counting. So warming up is key. You don't just go in and all of a sudden lift heavy.

Dorothy:

That's a really great point.

Lori:

Those tendons, yeah, those tendons and ligaments, they, it'll be like a rubber band. Like if you're holding a rubber band really tight and bam, you just like let it go. It's gonna snap. So you gotta warm up the joint spaces. You gotta warm it all up, everybody. Um, and so again, yes, be, be mindful if you're straining to hit those numbers back off. And because again, you know, I've seen it time and time again. This is when the injuries happen. When we're too much in our head, we're not enough in our body. We feel like we need to keep up. Uh, ego's driving us. It could be a slew of reasons. I've, I've seen them all, I've heard a lot of stories working in this field for many years. And yeah, when we just start to just, you know, oh, I can do it. Push, that's when the injury happens. So when you are lifting heavy, you need to go slow. And I, my, my breath is what guides me. So when I'm doing my deep squats, I am inhaling, like I said down, I am making sure that I feel that contraction of my deep core in my pelvic floor before I lift that weight up off the floor.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

I'm slow and I'm conscious, when I'm doing these exercises, like I'm very present lifting heavy. You have to be present,

Dorothy:

Which is why your trainer cannot be talking to you.

Lori:

Exactly. Exactly. Well, and you know what, here's the other thing too. And, you know, a lot of people love CrossFit out there. For me personally, it's not my jam. Um, and again, everybody has their, has their thing that makes'em feel good. But one thing that I will say is in CrossFit, and again, like you can go in and you'll have people knowing how to guide you and teach you'cause it's own, it's its own specialty. I, one thing I would say is to be cautious with is in CrossFit, they lift very heavy weights and they go quickly.

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

And in my experience and in my own personal opinion, when we're lifting heavy weights, we're not meant to be lifting them quickly.

Dorothy:

Yeah.

Lori:

Right. So if that is what you do, if that's something you wanna explore with. Just be cautious of that. And again, work at the pace that feels right to your body. Don't worry about keeping up because, again, we don't want an injury. We're doing all of this to feel good in our bodies. Right. And feel strong in our bodies not to be in pain in our bodies.

Dorothy:

That's right.

Lori:

Right. Deedee?

Dorothy:

That's right.

Lori:

Yay. I hope it all makes sense.

Dorothy:

Oh, it makes so much sense. I, this has been amazing. I always learn something from you, like, even though I've, I. We've been friends for, gosh, I don't know how many decades now, and I know some of this stuff. Um, I'm just always learning from you and I know this is going to be a really, really beneficial podcast

Lori:

Yay,

Dorothy:

so thank you for sharing.

Lori:

Of course. So I'm just gonna recap these really quick for, how to start lifting heavy number one, finding your starting weight that we spoke about using. The 10 reps as your guide. Number two, you build that strength gradually when those 10 sets of three get easy up your weight, one or two pounds, and go from there. Um, and again, you're repeating steps one and two for every joint, every movement that you do. And then as number four, you progress to those heavier weights as you're able to, making sure that you can keep form, breath and full range of motion.

Dorothy:

Got it. Check, check, check and check. Mm-hmm.

Lori:

Good.

Dorothy:

Yes.

Lori:

You're on a Didi.

Dorothy:

I'm on it. I'm gonna start tomorrow.

Lori:

Yay. I love it. I love it. Well, I just felt that there was a need for this because again, I'm getting, asked all these questions. And this is what's going all around, social media right now of you perimenopause, lift heavy, lift heavy. And it's true. But what is heavy, right? What is heavy and that's variable. My heavy is gonna be different than your heavy. So ask yourself that question. And use that 10 reps as your, guide. Yes. But before we go, I wanted to make a quick reminder Dede, that we have 10% off, for, the website. Is it hot or just me? And this is a website that is, products for managing perimenopause and menopausal symptoms. And, if you go to it's hot or me website, which we'll put this also in the show notes, you do get 10% off and you would use the code. Let's get curious and, this. Website, is it Hot or Me? Was also previously mentioned in, a recent podcast, that we did. And, that podcast was episode 16. It was called, is It Hot Or Me Taking Control of Midlife, one Hot Flash at a Time. And that's where we had, lovely Corrine come on and share her menopause story with us. And she's the creator of Is It Hot Or Me Website that has all these amazing products on it. So just wanted to remind everybody you do get a 10% discount with the code. Let's get curious. And all of that could be found in our show notes. And, if we can just also ask all of you amazing listeners, if you. Like what we talk about and you do share it with friends, if you can just also write a quick little review that will help us stay in the rankings. And as always, we, we thank everybody for listening and tuning in.

Dorothy:

Stay curious everybody.

Lori:

curious. Any final thoughts, Deedee?

Dorothy:

I don't think so. I think you've covered it beautifully.

Lori:

Well, thank you.

Dorothy:

just, I, I appreciate you breaking it down for us. I appreciate you. I. I going over the not So glamorous parts of, of lifting heavy. I'm just picturing all the shorts that you see of people doing the heavy deadlift, but they don't go through what all the steps and the safety precautions that people have to take to do it. Right. You know, and I, I love that you broke it down for us so we know how to do it with that thoughtfully, safely, so we can get strong without getting hurt. So thank you.

Lori:

Well, you're welcome. I mean, that's what it's about. It's, it's the marathon. We just gotta keep this going. But yes, there's so much behind it, right? And so it's how do you break it down so it makes sense. So I hope I did that for everybody.

Dorothy:

You did. It's just a lot to think about and it's in, in a very, very good way. A very good way.

Lori:

So, yeah, everybody's homework. Go out and just see where you hold your breath throughout your day. And even outside of exercise, when that tense, stressful moment, you know, comes in, or your kids drive you crazy with something, a spouse needs something, a boss needs something. What do you do? Do you hold your breath?

Dorothy:

I have a friend who's a middle school teacher, and she literally downloaded an app to remind her to breathe because she forgets to breathe.

Lori:

To my point.

Dorothy:

like,

Lori:

Yes.

Dorothy:

oh gosh. Yeah,

Lori:

Breathe.

Dorothy:

it's a real thing.

Lori:

It is a real thing. Well, and you know what and if you're constipated, guess what? Breathe. Because when we breathe nice, nice deep belly breaths, it massages the, the diaphragm, massages the intestines and helps with motility and yeah, there's, there's a slew of benefit of, of why we should breathe. But yeah, that, that, again, you know, another podcast.

Dorothy:

Another podcast.

Lori:

podcast. But yes, stop those leaks. Be able to lift heavy, str, blow out. And here's the other piece, ladies. A lot of us women don't like to make noise in the gym, right? We always, like you hear you hear the guys all the time.

Dorothy:

yeah.

Lori:

don't have to be like that. But let me tell you, when I am there and I am lifting my deadlift weight, you can hear me breathing. It's not obnoxious or anything, but it's just literally like I'm in through that nose and that like a strong exhale so be okay with breathing, making some noise like hearing the breath. You want the breath to be audible. You want to hear your breath. And again, it has to match the load and that's how you're gonna stop the leaks and that's how you're gonna prevent injuries. And this Yeah, this, this is for everybody. You know, for everybody. So yeah, when you're lifting that heavy piece of furniture with your spouse somewhere, squat down and give them the cube blow out as we lift this. I do that, I do that to my husband all the time. Like your knees

Dorothy:

My mom

Lori:

blow out.

Dorothy:

to my mom, my mom asked me to, move something really heavy, across the kitchen, to the to bar mud room. And I'm like, hold on, I gotta, I gotta lift my uterus. Just gimme a second.

Lori:

But you know what? I applaud you because that's, yes. You just made a great point. Like you had to pause a second and get the brain communicating to the muscular system like you did the right thing. Like, wait a minute, let me become present and conscious with what I have to do to handle this load safely. So, yay, Didi doing it.

Dorothy:

Thank you. I'm, I'm thanks to you. Thank you.

Lori:

I

Dorothy:

local pelvic floor physical

Lori:

Well, there you go. Well, and you know what, I'll just, I'll leave this on this fun little note though too, since we're talking about like me in your head. Um. I always will say to my girlfriends, cover, don't hover

Dorothy:

Mm-hmm.

Lori:

in the public restrooms, right? So they're always like, yeah, I have, every time I go into a public restroom, like you pop into my head, I'm like, a good thing or a bad thing? I'm like, no, it's a good thing. So yes, cover, don't hover because when you squat to go pee, you're, you're not allowing your pelvic floor to relax. So let the pee out. So

Dorothy:

Yep.

Lori:

put down those toilet seat covers and fully relax that pelvic floor so you can fully eliminate that bladder. Alright everybody, as always, thank you so much for tuning in and until next time, thanks for, being curious with us. We'll talk to you soon.

The information shared on this podcast is for informational purposes only and is based on the opinions and experience of Lori Dorothy and their guests. The content should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Diagnosis or a treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast