We Broke Up Because My Life Was Falling Apart

Hey Besties!

In a previous episode we shared how breaking up saved our relationship and we got a TON of questions on the real reason we broke up, a lot of y'all were wondering about the "Why?" so in this episode we talk about what happened that made Aja break up with Grant.

We get into, why we broke up, how jarring that was, Grants lack of confidence/self belief and how his self image became a snowball effect of how our breakup unfolded and the big decision that made us both realize we wanted to keep trying.

Grants life was falling apart and that blindsided Aja. But the falling apart made everything fall into place and we wouldn't be here without it. Lets talk about how f***ed everything was and what was the turning point to make Aja choose Grant again, and for them both to choose each other again, 4ever.

Let us know if yall have ever gone through a break up that was really just a reset and share your why!

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If you wanna watch our live reactions to this episode (which you should 👀), catch us on YouTube!

Besties, let us know what y'all think on this one!

-Grant & Aja

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Did you ever feel any resentment towards me for breaking up with you?

SPEAKER_05 0:02

No. I was in such a low point. I totally understood.

SPEAKER_04 0:06

I think the primary reason that we broke up was I could no longer picture a future with you.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

There was so much that was on my mind that I wasn't sharing with you because I just didn't want you to know how much I was struggling.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

I found out you didn't have any money. And it freaked me out because all of these financial issues that you had been hiding from me made me feel like, wow, he has the capability to keep secrets. And I never thought that you were that kind of guy. What's up, y'all? Welcome to another episode of Hanging Out Forever. My name is Asia Corinne, your host. I'm here with my boyfriend. You heard it right. Boyfriend. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

We were emphasizing that too. Over nine years.

SPEAKER_04 0:47

And co-host. Tell me your name, King.

SPEAKER_05 0:50

Grant Blackwell.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

Period, King. And we have been receiving a lot of questions, uh, especially in our DMs and our comment section on TikTok, about a few things that we've spoken about in the last few podcast episodes. So one being, why did we break up? The second was how we knew we wanted to get back together and how we knew we were each other's person. So we want to talk about in this episode how you might be able to find out whether or not you're with your person. And then also beyond that, how you know when it's time to take your relationship to the next step. So we're gonna be talking about our breakup, how we knew we were the one for each other, and we're gonna sprinkle in a little bit of marriage in there. We're gonna talk a little bit about marriage in there, okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:30

Yeah. And I, you know, everybody's timeline might be different with marriage, kids, things like that. But we're gonna just kind of give, you know, our experience on it of waiting, which we've waited. Yeah, you know, obviously.

SPEAKER_04 1:42

And um And we've been abstinent too. Abstinence till marriage, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

That ain't true.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Abstinence till marriage.

SPEAKER_05 1:49

Come on, we can't lie to the people. Can't lie to them.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Don't I look like a good little abstinent Christian girl?

SPEAKER_05 1:56

Sure, yeah, you sure do. Yeah, exactly. But you know, everybody's timeline is different, but we're just gonna give, you know, our experience and how we feel like it's helped us in so many ways.

SPEAKER_04 2:06

Yeah. So I do want to start off with the breakup questions. Um so we broke up for a number of reasons. And I think the primary reason that we broke up was I could no longer picture a future with you. And that was really difficult for me because, like, I loved you, you're my best friend in the world. We had so much fun together.

SPEAKER_05 2:28

We've been through We had so many boxes checked.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

Yeah, we had so many boxes checked. And it feels terrible when you're with somebody that you're in love with and you're happy, but you know that happiness is not enough. No matter what people tell you, love is not enough for a relationship. Love is not enough for sustainable relationships.

SPEAKER_05 2:46

Yeah, yeah, and happiness is not enough either. Like there's so many other elements to it that's it.

SPEAKER_04 2:51

There's so many other elements, there's so many other factors. And as much as you might want to love somebody and you might want to be with them because of how much you love them, and yes, they make you happy, those things are not always sustainable. Yeah. And I do think at the end of the day, you can't always choose love if there's not a foundation of how are we going to get to the next place? How are we gonna get a house if you want a house? How are we gonna secure a new apartment? How are we gonna save? How are we gonna afford a family? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:16

And those things are just as important.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

Those things are incredibly important. And so no matter how much you love somebody, if you cannot answer the question of how, if you can't see a path forward, you only see yourself in the context of loving this person, that's not a sustainable relationship, and you can't take that anywhere, unfortunately. Yeah, don't we wish love was enough? I wish as much as I loved you, I had a penny for every ounce I loved you, we'd be rich. You know what I mean? We'd be competing with Elon Musk for his trillions, right?

SPEAKER_05 3:45

But and I think that's what is driving a lot of people away from each other in relationships nowadays is you know, it's it's really hard for a lot of people, especially a lot of men, to be financially stable, to uh lead the household in certain ways, you know, step up. I think confidence in men is down more than ever. I think it's it's it's tough right now. Yeah, you know. So I think a lot of people are struggling. I think a lot of men are struggling in that sense, and then I think a lot of the women are struggling because they can't find suitable partners.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

That's so true. And like for you, we've talked about this multiple times about confidence. And I think that part of that is it played a factor in why we broke up. Yeah, you had a lack of confidence about you, and I could sense that.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

And because you weren't as confident as you wanted to be, and I you weren't as confident as I needed you to be, it made me feel unsafe. And it made me feel like I couldn't fully respect you in the way that I wanted to. Maybe that sounds shitty, but it's the truth.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

Well, it's like you couldn't trust me, you know, because of the lack of confidence. Because it's like if he can't trust himself, yeah, like how am I gonna trust him to to figure things out or to lead us? Or if something may happen, how is he gonna figure it out to fix it?

SPEAKER_04 5:00

And then for lead, um don't come for me with that, y'all. Every time somebody says, every time we're gonna say they hate it in the comments, and I get it. I'm one of those girlies too. But we're not talking about like he's leading and I'm submissive and I'm just following him around saying yes, Gabby, to whatever he desires. No, I'm combative and I'm mean.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

So when I'm just seeming like the type of girl that can be submissive, like, let's be real. No, and I don't want that. I don't want that either. Like, who wants that? Why do you want that?

SPEAKER_04 5:28

If Grant tells me no, I'm like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:33

She just started hearing that word, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 5:36

I'd be thinking I got something in my internet.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

She's like, huh?

SPEAKER_04 5:38

It's just like I'm like, what is it?

SPEAKER_05 5:41

She doesn't hear nothing.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

I don't hear it. It's happening in a vacuum. But the point is, I just want to clear that up because every time you say the word lead on our podcast, people just think that like I'm following you behind like a lost puppy, and I don't know how to like feed myself or forage for food. And I'm just waiting for manna from heaven or you to provide me with sustenance. And that's not it.

SPEAKER_05 6:03

It's more of just being a being capable to take the reins on so she can relax and she can take the backseat every once in a while. You know, there's things that she leads on or whatever. There's things that that um are, you know, she's better at, but there has to be things that you're better at too, and that you can step up and do. Yeah. Like it's really about that.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

And that was a part of our breakup is I felt like for the first six years of our relationship, I was spearheading everything, leading everything, helping with everything. And it became so exhausting to me that I could only see you in the context of being helpless. And so when it came to thinking about building a life with you, I couldn't even imagine it because it's like, how am I gonna build a life with somebody that I have to ask everything for? I have to be specific. He is not really that great with his finances or saving, because I'm not that great with finances either, to be honest. But like he, you're not, you weren't that great with saving. You weren't very forward thinking. And I would ask, like, what your future looked like to you. And one of the biggest red flags early in our relationship that was so difficult for me to process is I'm a dreamer. And I'm like, I want this kind of house and I want this kind of car and I want all these things. And I would ask you, like, what do you want? And your answer would always be defaulted to whatever it is that I wanted. You would just agree with whatever it is that I wanted. You'd say, Yeah, I could live in a house like the one you just said. I could drive a car like the one you just said. And it made me feel like you didn't have a vision for your own life and your own future. And a part of that was like, Oh, great, like we can do whatever I want. But that was only 10% of it. The other 90% was me feeling like I'm gonna have to make every big decision, do every big thing on my own, make sure that we're capable of doing these things. And me feeling like you didn't have your own vision for your life freaked me out.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

For sure. And that that came with the confidence thing for sure, of like it was hard for me to just see a future in general. You know what I mean? Like it was really hard for me to see. And you want all these things that, you know, are now extravagant things in this day and age, you know, getting a house and things like that is like this crazy thing now. Yeah. And so it was hard for me to like even wrap my head around those things of like, yeah, like I would love that too. And that's the thing, too. I agreed with a lot of things because we do want a lot of similar things, you know. There's a lot of stuff that you want that I want as well. Um, but I think it was just hard for me to see a future because I was in such a deep like hole and struggle that I couldn't see out of it. I was like completely tunnel vision. And I was so tunnel vision at that point. I had like a million things going on. You know, I was like, I was uh working so damn hard at like my production business and stuff just to make ends meet, you know. So I'm just so like focused on the struggle and the grind or the struggle of the grind that I can't, I couldn't even see or peek my eye to see a future or to see to dream or to see like a house in the future or all these things because I'm so laser focused on you know surviving, surviving, surviving, and I'm also just laser focused on growing this thing that I've been working on.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Right.

SPEAKER_05 9:17

So a lot of things fell to the wayside, you know, a lot of responsibilities fell to the wayside, you fell to the wayside, and you could tell and you could feel it, and you were like, you know what, you aren't here with me. Like you're not building this with me, you know, because you're very good at that too. So on top of me just not doing it, you're very good at it, where you're like, Yeah, we're all doing, we're all working hard. You know, we're all um laser focused on our work, but I'm also doing this and I'm doing that, and I'm building our future, and I'm making sure that you know our finances are good in the future, and I'm making sure that um it's a possibility of us getting a house. You are like working on all of these things where I'm just like dead stopped in my tracks trying to figure this one thing out, you know. And it's kind of crazy because like it did end up working out to an extent, you know, but yeah, it was just like so tough. And then I also, once things started falling into place and working, then I had to kind of shift my mindset of um, okay, now I need to make sure that I'm dreaming too, and I'm preparing ourselves for the future and I'm uh more responsible and stable with my finances and things like that. Like now I have to start figuring all that stuff out. Um and I think that what I can say to people is you know, just when you're in that grind mode and you're in a relationship, make sure that you're still putting in the time into your relationship and with your partner and you're sharing with your partner how you're feeling and what's on your mind because there was so much that was on my mind that I wasn't sharing with you because I just didn't want you to know how much I was struggling or how um insecure I was, you know, or how like I had completely lost my confidence in the future. And I just didn't want to share that with you because I didn't want to put you in your head, or I didn't want you to see me differently, but you're already seeing me differently because it's like it's already showing, you know, it's already showing in my actions. So I would say make sure that you continue to open up if you're struggling and you're in your relationship, your your partner is there to help you.

SPEAKER_04 11:39

Yeah, you know. No, I totally agree. And I think it's interesting because you mentioned that I could sense that you weren't here with me. Yeah, and that was a really big thing. Is when you were in grind mode, I knew that you were struggling, but I had no idea how bad it was.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:57

And that is part of the reason, that is probably the biggest reason why we broke up was I was already in my head about like, is it sustainable to be with him? I love him so much. We have such a good time, but is it sustainable to be with him? Is he gonna be chasing this pipe dream? And I don't want to be the type of person that was like, yeah, I believed in him from the jump. I did. I always believed in what you had going on. Any resources I had, I made available to you. But there was a period of time where I was like, all right, dude, I think we're beating a dead horse here. Like, you might have to go get a regular job. And you were so um, you were so anti to the idea of getting a regular job that it made me scared because I was like, what if shit really comes to push to shove and things are feast or famine right now, and I can't trust him to get off his ass. And it's not even that you were on your ass, you were still working so hard. But the your aversion to getting a regular job was scary to me because I grew up kind of like in a financially turbulent situation and my dad refused to get a regular job. He was like, I'm a creative, I'm never gonna get a regular job. And he hasn't. My dad has not had a regular job in like 40 something years. And I think that that's great, but it scared me because the what ifs start to populate in my mind. A lot of times. What if we lose everything? What if I get sick? What if I break a leg? What if I need surgery? What if you need surgery? What's gonna happen? You know, and I there were so many boxes that weren't checked. And so when you were struggling at that time, all of these dominoes kept falling around us. Like, can I talk about the bill stuff or no? Like, like just briefly like behind on bills. Um, there was, I don't remember what the thing was, but I found out that you like were really behind on a bill or you didn't have any money. And like there was it was no money. And it freaked me out because I was, I was so nervous to be so disconnected from you already and feel like we weren't a unit to then find out all of these financial issues that you had been hiding from me. Yeah, that made me feel like, wow, he has the capability to keep secrets. And I never thought that you were that kind of guy. Like I never thought that you could keep secrets from secrets from me. So the first thing happened, I don't know what it was. I think like you had gotten your car towed or something like that. You had a bunch of tickets, or like you didn't pay your registration. It was something crazy.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

And all of these financial things kept happening, like behind on some bill, behind on a card, behind on a car, the the actual car. And I remember just being like, wow, what's next? And it just kept feeling like all of these financial blows were happening. And that is a huge childhood like activation for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 14:39

And it made me feel like, oh my God, I'm reliving my childhood. I gotta get out of here. Yeah. And that was my final decision to where I was like, wow, I love you so much. I cannot be with you. And originally I was like, you know what? You're gonna take the cat. You guys need to get the hell out of here. I was looking for apartments for him. Yeah, literally, I was looking for apartments and all day, and this was kind of me being mean, I would just send you apartments. I'd send you links all day, and I'd be like, here, here, what do you think about this place? You know, but that was me being a fucking asshole because I was so hurt, and that was wrong of me to do. Um, but that was the reason. I'm not gonna go into our situation. We're clear out of that though, now that's being like lady.

SPEAKER_05 15:17

It's pretty insane how the shift happened because like it was, yeah, I was digging this hole, but also I was grinding, grinding, grinding and figuring things out and putting things in place. And so, like, when we when we like when you were basically like, you know what, I'm done. That's when I got like the biggest opportunity to like switch things, like literally like a week later, something like that. And so there was like a a crazy like 180 that happened right after that. And um, we still had a lot of things to figure out, obviously. And like it wasn't this like life-changing shift, but it was a sh it was it was the beginning of a life-changing shift, yeah. And I I honestly believe that that was just rock bottom that I had hit because, like you said, things kept piling up. I felt like I was getting like I was drowning, you know. I felt like I was drowning, and then um, and then I lost you, and I was just like, oh, everything is falling apart right now. So, like, there's literally nothing else that can break. So that's when things started to fix, you know, that's when things started to um come back together, and it was a complete 180, and then it just built off of that, and it hasn't stopped building off of that. So that's I I I will give it to myself that you know, um, and I'm proud of myself for being able to go from such a low point in my life, and just everything is falling around me, and nothing is working out in my favor to one little thing happening, and I took that and I ran with it, and I just kept building it, and I just kept going, going, going. And now it's just now it's continuously just going up. And then there was a little dip in there too, but I figured it out and I now it's back on the up, you know. Like I think that if you're struggling with something like that, if you feel like everything is falling around you and nothing is working in your favor, and you're drowning with bills or whatever it may be, you can get through that. Like all you need is just a little glimpse of that light at the end of the tunnel, and then you just you can start, you know, sprinting towards it. That's really all you need. You can get through it.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

What was your light at the end of the tunnel?

SPEAKER_05 17:35

Do you think I think it was the opportunities I was getting that I had created for myself, and then also you being able to see and give me another chance of like, okay, this guy he works hard, like he does work hard. He's not some like lazy guy. Um, he may be irresponsible, but he's shown that's the thing, too. I feel like I've shown you here and there that I am responsible and that I can figure things out and I can work hard and I can work on these things. So you had like a little glimpse of that, at least. That that's what kind of made you stay is you know what, I will give him another chance. Um, things are changing in front of me. So let's see where this goes. You know, I think you literally kind of gave me like a in six months, if we're in the same place, like I'm done. I think I'm pretty sure you gave me that kind of uh situation. And so I was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_04 18:35

We had already officially broken up though.

SPEAKER_05 18:36

Yeah, we had already officially broken up, and then we were we were talking and figuring things out. Um and uh yeah, and six months later it was a completely different situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

I wonder, like, um I I how did you not resent me for breaking up with you? Did you ever feel any resentment towards me for breaking up with you?

SPEAKER_05 18:58

No, because you know, like I said, I was in such a low point and I saw myself in such a low, you know, um lens that I just I I was I totally understood. You know what I mean? I totally got I totally understood where you were coming from. I my confidence was super low, and I just didn't feel like I was ready to be because we had been together for so long that I'm like, how am I still in this place? You know, that was in my in my mind in the back of my mind, is like, how am I still struggling with this? How am I still not capable of doing these certain things that I really wish that I was in a place to do at this point in our relationship? And so I totally understood where you were coming from, you know, with the frustration. I was frustrated myself, you know. So I totally understood where you were coming from.

SPEAKER_04 19:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:53

I do want to make it clear like, I didn't get back with you because I saw your opportunities. Like, no, it was it helped.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

Way more than that. It's so much more than that.

SPEAKER_04 20:01

Yeah, it definitely helped because I was like, oh my God, finally the keys to our future. Holy shit. Yeah, you know, so that felt great, but I didn't get back with you because I was seeing how great things were going in your life and I want to be a part of it. Yeah, it was I had gotten really, really sick. And oh yeah, that too. You know, oh my God, things were hitting you left and right financially. Like this bill was behind, your car got towed, then you had to pay a bunch of tickets. And I was like so pissed off and annoyed at you as things are falling apart. But when the car thing happened, I was like, all right, let me show him some compassion.

SPEAKER_05 20:34

It was so many things, it was so fucked up. No, it was so many things like kept happening. And I was just like, Are you serious right now?

SPEAKER_04 20:42

There was not there is rough. It was a terrible streak. Yeah, it was bad things. It was a terrible streak, bad thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like honestly, even the way that you continued getting up in the morning after you just kept getting hit left and right with fucking losses, like you were getting hit with L's every day. No, I don't mean to pile it on, but it's true.

SPEAKER_05 21:04

There was tons of L's L's L's in the chat.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

L's in the chat. You were getting hit with L's for sure. And you still woke up and chose to be kind to yourself, to me, to the people around you. And then when you got your car towed, it was brutal, man. It was brutal because I was out of town, and you were supposed to pick me up from the airport, and then you dropped, you stopped to get me some food that I didn't want. And that was when your car got towed, and I felt so bad for you. I was like, okay, here's what we're gonna do. I will get us an Uber to wherever your car is, I will get us an Uber home. It's not a problem. Right. And I feel like seeing you at your lowest forced me to be more compassionate than I think I've ever been. And it put a lot of things into perspective because I was like, if I was at my lowest, I'd want him to treat me with disrespect. I'd want him to treat me with kindness and compassion. And the first few things that were happening. I was like, that's on you. That's your fault. Look what you did. I told you. But when that happened, I was very much like, this guy's going through it. Like, we broke up. He's heartbroken. This is so inconvenient. It's embarrassing for him, probably.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

And I wanted to make sure that even though we weren't romantically together, you still felt like you could rely on me in some way, even as like a friend, even as somebody that you could trust to show up to show up for you. Because I knew that you weren't ever going to share these things with anybody else. You're not going to call your friends and tell them this happened. You would never share that with your parents.

SPEAKER_05 22:32

It was, I was ashamed.

SPEAKER_04 22:33

Yeah. For sure. I didn't want you to feel like you had to harbor that shame alone.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

And I wanted you to feel like you had somebody in your corner, even though I wanted to be at that time out of your real like romantic life. And um I think that me being able to show you that compassion broke down a wall for me to help me remember that I loved you. And of course I was like annoyed, but I didn't share with I didn't share that with you with the car situation.

SPEAKER_05 23:02

I was like, Yeah, after a lot of that happened, I could tell that there was a switch in your just compassion for me.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

So he got his car towed on purpose.

SPEAKER_05 23:12

No, hell no. But um yeah, no, I think that you were kind of looking at me, like you said, and you're like, dang, this guy's really he's really getting hit with it right now. And you saw that and it kind of sparked that compassion that you have because it's like, you know, we've been together so long, we've been in each other's lives for so long. Um, at the end of the day, this is my best friend. So I want to be there for my friend.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:35

You know, I I think that that kind of instinct took over.

SPEAKER_04 23:39

And you kept getting up.

SPEAKER_05 23:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:41

There was never a point in our relationship in the very beginning of our relationship, you were kind of a bum. Like you didn't want to get up in the morning, you didn't want to work hard. But then after like the first two years, you switched and you were like hardworking, but maybe not as consistent as you needed to be. But when all these things started falling down, our goal.

SPEAKER_05 23:57

That's the thing. Yeah, you did. You've always had a goal. But I was like kind of lazy and then also just um And I was a huge bitch for years.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

Let's not just sit on the fact I said grants a bum. I was a total asshole.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

That's fine. We had our issues, we both had our own issues.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

But I noticed that you you got up, you kept getting up. Yeah. And there was something very you didn't you never called your parents for money. You were never, did you?

SPEAKER_05 24:21

That's no. You were never like mom and dad. That's the thing. Like, I always figured it out. Like I'm I'm like looking back and I'm like, how the hell did I figure things out? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:30

I would have given up.

SPEAKER_05 24:31

I would have given up.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

I would have given up. I gotta be honest with myself. I know how I am.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

To go bidding some groceries or something.

SPEAKER_04 24:38

I would have been, I wanna, I wanna been on a poll probably. Which is fine. Which is fine. We love the sex worker girlies, whatever. A bag is a bag. But um, I would have definitely and but there's nothing, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So not to demonize that or anything, but I I think that that was something that made me really see who you were. Uh-huh. Was that at your lowest you were still trying to like hold space for me and fix us and fix you at the same time. And I don't know how you had the bandwidth.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

You never got bitter.

SPEAKER_04 25:07

Like, you're not, you're gonna leave me right now at my lowest. Uh yeah. You know what I mean? But like the lowest kind of happened after I was like, we're done. But I remember being like, I, and then after the car situation, I had so much more compassion for you. And then right after that, I got really sick, sicker than I had ever been. I really thought, I didn't think I was, it felt like I was gonna die because it was so painful. Like it was terrible. I got food poisoning or something like that, and I just felt like I was gonna die. And you were so kind to me. And I will never forget the amount of presence, compassion, and tenderness you showed me during that moment.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

It was, I did some embarrassing stuff, guys. I threw up all over myself. Like I'm talking all over myself. Like I was in the bathroom, sitting in the toilet, and I puked on myself. It was so terribly embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

It was a lot.

SPEAKER_04 26:01

And you never judged me, and you never burned. It was a lot. You never judged me. And I felt like it never changed how you saw me. And I remember like looking up at you, like all puke mouth, like, did you see that? I'm sorry. I know it was disgusting. Yeah, so I think that that was part of why we knew that we were each other's person.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:21

I think that us going through all of those things, not a lot of couples can make it through that. Not a lot of couples can make it through that. And I would say that you were a hundred percent our anchor during that time because you never gave up.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:35

You never gave up. And that was something that I always really admired about you. And I think that that is admirable. Like if you have a partner or a man and he never gives up, there's something so like valiant about it. Of course, it depends on what kinds of stuff he's never giving up on. If he's not giving up on drugs and the booze, you gotta kick him. But it's like if he never gives up on his dreams, if he never gives up on working hard, if he never gives up on generating income or showing up for you. Those types of things matter. And I realized that you would never give up. You would never give up on us, and you would never stop trying your best. And that compounded with who you were becoming, even though it was seven, eight years, whatever, seven years into our relationship at that time, I could still see that you were becoming someone else, the best version of yourself.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

And I didn't, I wasn't sure if we should stay together, but I knew that I wanted to experience the new version of you. Yeah. And not selfishly, you know, not like a, oh, I'm gonna get this while the getting's good. It was more like, I want to stick around for this. And when I was sick, I realized like, wow, I really felt like I was gonna die. I felt terrible. And who do I want right there with me if I have to go to the hospital? Who do I want to call the doctor for me? Who do I want to like kiss me on my forehead if I'm not feeling well? And that answer was you.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

And that was how I determined the permanence of our relationship. That's how I understood that I wanted to be with you forever.

SPEAKER_05 28:13

Yeah. And I think sometimes things like that will bring us closer together. Yeah. You know, like it was horrible to go through, you know, all of that stuff. But I think the fact that we made it on the other side of it just shows that it's gonna take a lot to pull us apart. Like the it we're not gonna go easy, you know, and we're not gonna give up, you know, and um I think I've I showed that to you through all this. You saw like what you said that I didn't give up. And I think that's always kind of been my role in our relationship is I make sure that we consistently see the light at the end of the tunnel, whether we're going through dark times or we're having an argument that you know um really ramps up, and you're like, you know what, I'm done with this. And I'm like, No, we're not, we're not done. You know, we gotta figure it out. Let's get right back on and let's figure it out. Let's get back on the bike and and figure it out. So I I think I've always been that role, and I think it's important in a relationship that somebody is that, yeah. Because you can't both just be so hard-headed that that you just give up. Everybody just gives up on the conversation.

SPEAKER_04 29:25

If it wasn't for you, we I don't think we would have made it as far. And if it wasn't for me, we would not have communicated as well. And so it really is um attributed to both of us the long, the longevity and the health of our relationship. Because there's been plenty of times where I'm like, I'm done. Yeah, bye, I'm done. I don't care. Go find someone else. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 29:48

You're not done. Let's come on, sit, sit down, let's talk it out.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

And I'm really happy that you're that way because I am very prone to just being like, oh, fuck this.

SPEAKER_05 29:59

I'm out of here. Patience. It takes pay, it's like patient. I'm the patient one, you're impatient. And so I'm hot-headed. Yeah, you're hot-headed, and I'm cool and I'm collected, and we can figure it out, you know. As a team, yeah. And uh, you know, one of like the biggest compliments that one of my friends told me like recently is that I'm consistent. He's like, You're extremely consistent. And I was like, Thank you. I like that. I like that. I'm like, I am consistent. He's like, You're consistently a good friend, you're can you consistently do good work, you're just consistent. You show up, you know what I mean? You're there, you're consistent. And I was like, that seems like a really good thing to be.

SPEAKER_04 30:40

It is a good thing, it's a great thing. Yeah, I'm glad you take a lot of pride in that because I think today, in this day and age, consistency is one of the most difficult things to find in a relationship. Is somebody gonna consistently show up for you? Are they gonna consistently be kind? Are they gonna consistently understand your needs and meet your needs? Maybe not like a hundred percent of the time, but the pattern of their behavior is it consistency?

SPEAKER_01 31:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:07

And that's always why I felt so safe with you, is because at the end of the day, when I was like at my most depressed or I was doing terrible, I knew that I could trust you to love me. And I never thought I would have that in my entire life. I never thought I'd be able to trust somebody to love me. The first relationship, the first real quote unquote real relationship I ever got into was with this guy that I had no business being with. And that was fully because I thought he was the only man on earth capable of loving me.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:36

And thank God I got out of that. As soon as some other guy had a crush on me, I was like, oh my God, I'm free of this. I got options, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:44

And I never dated this second guy. But the point was that the person that I dated first that I let have access to me, which disgusts me. Um, it does, it disgusts me to think about. That's why I count him as a half. People are like, how many people have you had sex with? Two and a half.

SPEAKER_05 31:59

Yeah. He's a half a human.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

He's a half a human.

SPEAKER_05 32:02

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 32:04

And so I feel like dating him was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself. And when you weren't doing great in life, I was also wondering: is this a reflection of myself? Like, do I have to date somebody that I feel like I'm I have more relationship control? You know, do I feel like I have to have more leverage, more power? And there were there's a lot of truth to that at that time in my relationship. It's because I didn't trust men, I never thought I'd be able to be fully loved by a man. And not only that, I never thought I would fully love myself.

SPEAKER_05 32:36

Yeah. So because of that, I think you had your own insecurities to where you had to make sure that you had an escape plan. Yeah or you had to be, you know, ahead of the curve in um between us. Like you had to always make sure that nobody has one up on you in any type of way.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

Because I was I was scared of like being used and discarded.

SPEAKER_05 32:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:00

And you every day for our entire relationship have shown me that that's like not even an option for you. That's not on your radar. You don't ideate about like leaving me or finding somebody new or secretly think that I'm ugly or disgusting, or there's things that I need to fix. And maybe, maybe there are things that you think about that I need to change that you don't express, but I don't feel this secret judgment from you. And that was something I was terrified when I got in a relationship that I would feel. So I was always the one that was more judgmental.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:37

Um, and I I know in the beginning of our relationship, I projected a lot, and that was because of my own insecurities and they ran so deep. But being loved by somebody who shows up for you and sees you how you actually are.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

And I felt like you were the first person beyond my family to see me deeper than what I showed the world. And I could have never imagined that because you loved me beyond how mean I was, how cruel I could be, how arrogant I was, how angry I was. And I don't know how you did it, but you found a way to like don't tell me all. No, stop. You're so sweet. Stop talking.

SPEAKER_05 34:28

No, but I think that like it's because you're you're yes, you can be those things that you just named, but you're so amazing. Like you're so many great things. You know, you're selfless, you're a great partner. Uh, you work so hard, you're intelligent, you're beautiful, you're all of these amazing things. And I think like at the end of the day, the secret weapon is to just be genuine.

SPEAKER_04 34:52

I gotta get a paper towel before I ruin my beautiful makeup.

SPEAKER_05 34:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

Whatever you tell me on makes me cry even harder. Really? Because I'm like trying all the bacteria, you're like, oh, I'm like, wow, there he is, immediately compassionate to my needs. That's funny. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

But um honestly, like, I think what the secret weapon to life is, is just being genuine. Like the secret weapon to business, to your relationship is to be genuine. And don't get me wrong, like I have times where I'm selfish and I'm stubborn, you know that. But um I think just just being genuine is really the secret that's really gonna get you a long way. It's gonna take you far because then you can just genuinely be yourself around people. You can trust people, you can be smart around people, but just as long as you're genuine, you're always going to come off like easy to work with, or you know, you're gonna have patience through being genuine, you're gonna have all these amazing things from just being genuine. Yeah, and that's something that I always try to be in our relationship. I try to be myself anytime I do business with people, I try to be as genuine and myself as possible, you know. And I think that it's it's done wonders for me and it's built amazing relationships for me, and it's built our relationship to an amazing point as well. Because I can truly be myself, and um, but you've also given me the chance to be myself, you know. You really have. You've really opened the floor for me to fully be myself, and you you've um, you know, you've done a lot to prepare this relationship for a lot of stuff so we can, you know, have what we have now.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

Don't laugh at me. Oh no.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

She's crying, guys. She's crying.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

I am crying. I try to catch my tears, but I miss them. Jeez. No, that's so sweet. Like, I want you to be yourself.

SPEAKER_04 37:07

I want you to like, I never want you to feel like you have to be embarrassed, or I never want you to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from me. Like, I don't want you to feel scared. Like, oh my God, I don't want to see this weird thing in my phone. I'm all about the weird things. Show me the weird stuff. What's the weirdest thing you ever done?

SPEAKER_02 37:24

You know.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

So I'm really happy that you feel confident in me because I already have that.

SPEAKER_05 37:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:31

I wasn't always like the person. I don't feel like I was always the person that was building your confidence, but like I was at the same time. Like I would do things that would make you feel confident. And then when I would get mad, I would try to dismantle that. And I know that that wasn't healthy at all. And I'm happy I'm not that way anymore. And I'm happy that you think about me so positively.

SPEAKER_05 37:54

Well, I think that there was a point, like we talked about before, where you know, I was dealing with my own struggles of not feeling confidence in myself or not feel feeling independent. And so it was hard for me to set any boundary to anybody. It was hard for me to face confrontation. It was hard for because I had such a I just I wasn't looking at myself in a positive lens. So I didn't feel the need to like stick up for myself or set a boundary for myself or do anything like that. I didn't see the point. And so now I have so much that I'm working for and working towards that now I'm like standing on shit. You know what I mean? I'm standing on it. I'm standing on like this is what I want, this is what I need. Like this, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not gonna do that. And it's not like I was letting people just walk all over me, but I have so much more confidence now to where I can make a stand for things, or now I have like an opinion on things to where before I was a lot more passive. Yeah, and um now I'm not afraid to create boundaries. The same with in our relationship. Like I'm not afraid to tell you no. You tell me no, like six times. As much as you hate that word. And supposedly that's a thing that tourists always do. They love saying no, they love telling people no, which I do tell people no a lot.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

A lot.

SPEAKER_05 39:13

Now that I like once I saw that meme, I was like, that is so true.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

Did you send that to me? I never saw that meme.

SPEAKER_05 39:19

I don't know if I showed you that. But it's like, supposedly tourists say no a lot. And I was like, you know what I do to I I don't have a problem telling people no, but it was hard for me to set boundaries in our relationship, too, because you're so smart and like you have you know exactly what you want that it was hard to kind of go against that. You know, you had so much conviction in what you need and what you wanted that I would just kind of be like, okay, cool, let's do it, let's figure it out, or I can do it. I got you, I got you, I got you. But like there was times definitely where I'm like, no, where I should have been, no, like this is how I'm gonna do it, and it's going to work out fine, you know. So there's definitely moments that I could have set boundaries, but I think now, like, it's so easy for us to have communication in that way where I'm able to set a boundary. You respect it because I respect myself, you know, and you can feel that and you know that. And so you're like, yeah, okay, cool. Because I say it with confidence and I and I set the boundary with confidence.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

Yeah. That's a big part of being in a relationship, especially as a woman. When you're with a man and you can tell he doesn't have confidence, it makes you lack confidence in him as well. For sure. Because you're like, how can I trust this guy to build a life with this man? Like he doesn't even trust himself. I'm not supposed to trust me or him with me. And I'm supposed to trust him with us and our future together. And it was difficult when you didn't respect yourself to respect you in a way that I would want to respect my man. You know what I mean? I think there was like there was gym general respect. There was a general mutual respect, but it felt more based in like a class project, like the guy that you let chime in because he's in the group. Yeah. You know what I mean? But you're like not gonna take his idea. You're not gonna go with his advice.

SPEAKER_05 41:10

You're like, you know, just take just take the B.

SPEAKER_04 41:13

Yeah, just you're here for the A.

SPEAKER_05 41:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:15

Okay. Just sit in the back. And so I feel like for a while in our relationship, it very much felt like a class project that I was running. Yeah. And I let you be a part of the group because I liked you.

SPEAKER_05 41:25

And I'm just like peeking over, like stealing the And I'm just like, here you go, bro.

SPEAKER_04 41:28

Stealing the answers. Here's the answers. For sure.

SPEAKER_05 41:30

You know, um that was totally me in high school, too.

SPEAKER_04 41:33

I don't think I cheated my I cheated my whole way through high school, please. You gotta do what you gotta do. That's called being resourceful. But I think that you respecting yourself and have becoming confident within yourself changed a lot of things in our relationship. And I think that men have to operate out of confidence, not arrogance, but confidence. Because their women can sense that. People around you can sense that. And it changes not only the way that you move and interact with the world, it changes how the world interacts with you. And when you're confident from a place of like kindness and um being genuine as you are, I really think that it becomes a very strong gravitational pull for positive things to happen to you because like you're surrounded by so many people who are rich as shit. Like money I couldn't even imagine. You know what I mean? And a big part, and these people will go to dinner with them and they just want to spin, spin, spin because they think Grant's rich too.

SPEAKER_05 42:35

I know. And I'm like, you guys, I appreciate you guys uh seeing me in that light.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

But yeah, they which is great, it's a compliment because that's how much confidence you exude. You exude so much confidence that you could go to dinner with a millionaire, they're just like, let's just split the bill.

SPEAKER_05 42:50

Yeah. And you're like, sure, which I end up doing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:55

Which, you know, happens, but it's just like you have that aura about you. And I really admire that. And I want to ask you, you know, before we wrap this episode up, I know we were gonna talk about marriage and you know, how you know when your partner's the one, which I feel like we've touched on the how you know when your partner's the one type of thing, but we'll bring it back at the end. Marriage, we're gonna have to do another episode.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

Yeah, this is kind of the part one because we're we just talked about how we got to a place where we feel comfortable getting married. We had to go through all this shit. Yeah. So get to a place where we feel comfortable with, like, okay, now we can get married and take these next steps in our relationship. We had to go through all of this.

SPEAKER_04 43:31

So that's this is we're laying the land for you guys. The next episode, like Grant said, will be fully about like how we know we're ready to get married. So, so we'll talk about that. But I do want to ask you, as a man, what is it like to not feel confident in your relationship?

SPEAKER_05 43:48

As a man, when you don't feel confident in your relationship, it's hard to gain respect from your partner. It really is. Because if you don't respect yourself, like, how do you expect her to? Respect you. And then you automatically start taking the backseat on things where you don't step up. And then your partner starts to feel like, well, I'm doing this all by myself. I might as well just be single. Like, what are you doing here? I don't need you. You know, even if you bring a lot of love or a lot of um, you know, a lot of stuff to the relationship, you still need to bring initiative and you need to bring um, you know, this confidence of like, I have goals for us that I want us to reach. And so if you if you lose that, if you lose that confidence, then you know, you your partner, your girl is gonna see right through it. And it's gonna show in everything you do. And you're just not gonna have this light. Like I I lost that light at one point, and it was such a dark place for me. And then once I started to figure things out, and we started to figure things out, and I started to finally be able to communicate things to you that I was ashamed to communicate before, it opened up everything, and it really helped me get that light back. And I just started to work on that and just go hard with it, and then slowly but surely started to get that confidence back, started to be able to be like, hey, let's do this, let's do that, started to um spearhead things and take initiative on things. And once you when you lose that, it's it just it it'll make everything fall apart.

SPEAKER_04 45:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:30

And so I think that that's confidence is huge in a relationship as a man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

And I think sorry, but what you said before I like you when he points at me when he wants me to stop talking so he can talk. No, I do like it.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 45:45

It's like or you go like this, and I'm like okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:50

But uh no, but what you said before was like really interesting of um the line between confidence and arrogance. Yeah, you know, because that's a huge thing too, because there's a lot of guys out there who think they're confident, but they're just like an arrogant asshole. And that's a whole other thing of you can't lead in that way either. You can't lead with arrogance, you know, because then you're gonna make a lot of mistakes because you're working in a or you're not gonna do anything that uh helps you or your or that you're not gonna do anything that actually helps your relationship because you're moving out of like selfish arrogance. Yeah, and you're really just trying to um uh further yourself and you're not trying to further your relationship where confidence you can um confidence is just a lot more genuine and and you're able to look at things holistically, exactly. Yeah, and you see the whole entire um like you see everything, the whole di the all the aspects of it instead of just focusing on yourself and your own arrogance.

SPEAKER_04 46:52

Yeah. Yeah, I think that that's been something that's really important. And I'm one of those people that talks to Chat GBT. So the other day I was talking to Chat about, sorry, I know we hate this, but I was. Um, I was trying to make sense of something about us and our relationship. We'll get into this in a different episode. And chat was like, you blame yourself for a lot of stuff and you give Grant a lot of grace. And I feel like the grace that I gave you is well deserved. And but my issue is that I'm very hard on myself. And throughout our relationship, I was the difficulty I gave myself, I often projected off onto you. Because I remember there being a period of time where I wasn't certain if anything I could create on my own volition would be successful enough for me to sustain my own life. And so that pressure fell off onto you, where I'm like, well, if I can't do it, you need to do it. If we're gonna be together, one of us has to do it.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

You know, and I there's truth to that. There is still truth to that. Um, but I remember feeling despair in my own life and feeling like, okay, well, at least I have a partner who like is capable. So now it's his job, now it's his responsibility. And I used to be, and you could tell me, like, too. I feel like I was very arrogant and dismissive and mean, and I had a lot of good things about me too. I had a lot of great things. So always willing to help. Let's go here. Yeah, you can do it. Nobody's smarter than you. But then, like, when I'm not getting my way or things are going bad, then I take all those things away or off the table. So um, before we wrap this episode up, I want to know because we've both talked about our contributions to why we broke up and the overarching reason why we broke up, and how we now know that kind of like we're ready to take it to the next level because I feel like if we could go through that, we could go through anything.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

Exactly. And when we broke up, you've been through it.

SPEAKER_04 48:45

Yeah, when we broke up and we got back together and we wiped the slate clean. Again, there was no cheating. All the men in the comments with the with the clip where I was like, oh, breaking up, wipe the slate clean. All the men are like, oh, amen, amen. Y'all some cheaters. I know y'all are cheaters. I'm not talking to y'all talking about jumping.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Send this to her. Send this to her. Send this to her.

SPEAKER_04 49:05

No, no. No, we're not talking about it. This should not be on her timeline. We are not forgiving no cheaters. That's so funny. Oh, when when we broke up, I had to wipe the slate clean, and it made me think about all the things that you were and that you weren't, and I had to make a decision to move forward, and all the men are like, yes, no.

SPEAKER_05 49:20

No.

SPEAKER_04 49:21

Fuck no, actually. That's so funny. It just because I know they're cheaters.

SPEAKER_05 49:25

I know they're skewing it into their own thing to me. They write their own narrative.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

And so there's a few guys in the comments who are like, I wish she would take me back, or or they'll compliment me and be like, I want a woman just like her. No, you're not going to be a good one.

SPEAKER_05 49:37

Yeah, we get a lot of weirdos that just DM us and just trauma dump their bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 49:41

The guys that are like, I want her back. Well, what'd you do? Did you cheat? And then they don't respond because you're a cheater. Don't come to me that.

SPEAKER_05 49:47

What can I do to get her back?

SPEAKER_04 49:48

I'm not gonna give a cheater advice on how to fix his relationship. Stop DMing me respectfully. Like, don't disrespectfully, actually. Don't DM me.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

Yeah, we're not gonna give advice for that.

SPEAKER_04 49:58

If you cheated on your wife, if you cheated on your partner, if you're a woman, you cheat on your man, whoever it is. If y'all are DMing us talking about some, I cheated on him, I need some advice, I cheated on her, I need some advice. How do I get her back? Find somebody else. I'm not gonna give you advice on how to get back to with your partner if you betray their trust. Now, if y'all mutually cheated, that's different.

SPEAKER_05 50:17

But if only one of y'all would cheat on the thing, about the get back or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

I mean, I'm not on the get back type of time, but it's like if one person cheated, another person cheated, then it's a wash. You guys should just fix it.

SPEAKER_05 50:26

I I don't know. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

I believe that like if y'all were just both hoeing around on the side and whatever, y'all can't be mad at nobody. But long story short, yeah. Whenever I say, Oh, Grant, I forgave him for our relationship and we broke up and we fixed it. He did not cheat. Do not get it twisted. Stop DMing me about trying to get your girl back because you cheated. Anyway, um, Grant's like move on.

SPEAKER_05 50:52

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

I'm passionate about it.

SPEAKER_05 50:53

You said that you were gonna ask me a question or something.

SPEAKER_04 50:56

Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you how you feel like um I cont how how do you feel like I contributed to our breakup? And the thing that I was saying that I kind of got off track with was after we broke up and we got back together, that was the hardest that was the hardest period in our entire relationship. And after that, I realized I will go through anything with him.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:20

And so I feel like we were now soul bond, you know what I mean? We had a we had a bond in a different way.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

We've gone through, we went through a lot, and then we ended up getting back on the same page to a point where we never thought we would be uh be able to get back to. And it's um, and then it's even better than we could have ever imagined it. So I think that's the the difference now. But how did you contribute to our breakup? I don't think you contributed a lot. I think that it was a lot on me, to be honest. Um, I think that I was just going through a lot. I think that in the beginning of our relationship, um, there would be times where you know you would get opportunities or something, and I could just tell it like would go to your head immediately.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

I was sat.

SPEAKER_05 52:06

And you know what I mean? So we both have had fights throughout our relationship, you know, of where we had to fight internally and get through things internally and kind of check ourselves. There's been plenty of moments like that, you know what I mean? So I think that as long as we were able to continue to check ourselves and work through it, uh we would always bring just positivity at the end of the day to our relationship because we can we can figure those things out internally, and then we can figure out a lot together too, because we're open with one another and we want to fix things, you know. We don't have to fix things, we want to fix things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

So we're we're continuously working on ourselves in our relationship, and that's where we are now, and that's where we are now in my last before we wrap it up is how do you know that I'm the person that you this will be a good like lead into the marriage episode? So, how do you know? And throughout our relationship, were there any defining moments where you were like, This is the person that I want to be with, and I'm 100% certain of it.

SPEAKER_05 53:14

Yeah, I think just like I said, of everything we've been through, um everything that we've been able to get through together, everything we were able to communicate through, um, the fact that we can get through that stuff, you know, a lot of that stuff, and still choose each other at the end of the day, still love each other the the amount we do. And uh we always say this that it doesn't feel like we've been together for nine years. Like it really just it feels so much shorter than that. And I think that's a good thing, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not tired of you at all, I'm not you know, sick of waking up next to you at all. Like I'm excited to, and I can't wait for more of it, you know? And I think that um I just want more with you. And I think when you get to a place with somebody, when you get to a place with your girlfriend where you want more, like I'm just like, I want to commit more. I what can I do to commit myself even more than I am committed to you? And it's like, oh, I can, you know, ask you to marry me. We can get engaged. That's a commitment. Let's do that. Now I want more, I want to commit more to you. Oh, let's get married. I want to commit even more, let's have a kid, like, let's do it, you know. And that's where I am with you. I'm just like, I'm ready for more. I just want more. And I'll take whatever tradition or society has uh, you know, kind of bestowed on us of what you can do with a person, you know, marriage and all these traditional things. I'm like, I'll take all that. Yeah, give me all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? If there's some other more crazy traditional things that people do around the world, let's do that too. Screw it. You know what I mean? Like, let's do everything we can. That like that crazy stuff that they do in like Russia or something like kidnap the the huh? They kidnap, they like kidnap the wife or something like that. It's something insane. You know, I want to just do everything with you. Yeah, you know, and so I can't wait to do everything with you. So stay tuned, guys.

SPEAKER_04 55:18

So stay tuned, guys. Me too. All right, guys. We actually have to wrap it up because our batteries are dying, but uh, I knew you were my person when I was really sick and I was like, oh my god, this is the guy that I want to have by my bedside if I'm 80 and off my rocker, and this is the guy want to wave at me and write me letters if I'm ever in a straitjacket. So that's how I determined we don't have a lot of time left on these batteries, but I love you so much. And my relationship advice would be to be very discerning about your partner and to figure out what it is that you're doing to contribute to maybe your lack of communication or the turbulence that you're experiencing our relationship. I think we've given enough relationship advice throughout this episode. We're really gotta go because the batteries are dying. We hate doing this to you guys, but we love you, besties. Go ahead and like, comment, subscribe. We are casting for our dating show. That will be in the link in this bio. And if you guys want to send us a listener letter, because you know we do this twice a month, that'll also be in the bio as well. And we love you, besties, and stay tuned for the marriage episode.

SPEAKER_05 56:13

See you guys. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_04 56:15

Bye.