My Husband is Obsessed with my BREASTMILK | Listener Letter

This is another Bestie-mail episode for the books..

There's a lot of kinks and fetishes in the world and most of them I don't judge and hell even the one we discussed in this episode I don't judge but the way he went about it was INSANE. And now pregnancy will never be the same for her.

I guess the theme in this episode would be family. Here are the letters Aja & Grant read

1. My Mom Hates Me
2. My Husband is Obsessed with my Body
3. I'm Pregnant at 17

Comment your thoughts!
Thank you to the Besties who wrote in and were vulnerable enough to share their stories.
To submit your own listener letters, click here.
Apply to be on our dating show, click here.

P.S LET US KNOW HOW YOU KNOW SOMEONE IS HIDING SOMETHING SUSS!👀

If you wanna watch our live reactions to this episode (which you should 👀), catch us on YouTube!

Besties, let us know what y'all think on this one!

-Grant & Aja

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

My husband is obsessed with my body and it's grossing me out. And he jokingly asked if he could try my breast milk. I'd even catch him in the fridge drinking what I had set aside for our daughter.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

She's just totally not into the whole breast milk thing. What happens when she runs out of milk?

SPEAKER_01 0:13

My mom genuinely hates me. She wants me to get a nose job because mine looks too ethnic. And that when we go anywhere together, I look like her servant and not her daughter.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

She's racist too. It seems like your mom has her own insecurities.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

What's up, y'all? Welcome to the Hangin Out Forever podcast. My name is Asia Corinne, your host. I'm here with my boyfriend of nine years and co-host, the wonderful, handsome, cute, very tall, white.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

I am white. Grant Blackwell. What's up?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I don't know why I mentioned that.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Her white boyfriend of nine years.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Her white boyfriend of nine years. I'm only mentioning that because we recently posted something on Instagram. Yeah. And it was like 15 black people that I'm a thousand percent sure my white boyfriend knows, and he smashed it out of the park. Absolutely fucking hammered it. Sure did it. And there's a lot of black folks in the comments being like, he outblacked me. He took my black car, which is not possible. Number one. Let's start with there. Let's start with that. Don't put that on me. Don't put that on me. Don't put it on him. But uh a lot of people are like, I've been out blacked, which is hilarious. That was fun. Grant knows his grant knows his black people. Yeah, you don't play with that.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I guess so. You know, I guess so. That was fun. That was a cool trend, though. We don't usually do trends and stuff like that, but that was that one was fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

And now I've inspired him to do more trends, so you'll get you guys will be seeing more trends on the five. More trends on the way, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

More trends on the way.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

So you know what this episode's about? It's a listener letter. We got some crazy ones today, some long ones today, and some that I think are very, very relatable to a lot of people out there. Okay. I will say that I know I've said this the last few episodes that there's not a theme, and then boom, there ends up being some sort of theme that I've just like.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

We'll probably find some way to connect these stories.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Parenthood is probably the theme. They're all parents.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Well, they're all parents or dealing with parents. Okay. So we're finna get into it. The last thing I want to say before we dive in is yes, we've been together for nine years. Our 10-year anniversary is next year, and I'm absolutely freaking out. I don't know where we're gonna go for our trip. Like first.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

We want to go on a trip. We we usually go on like a big trip every couple years for our anniversary. So we want to plan it. If you guys have any recommendations, please leave them in the comments. Just drop them in the comments. Trying to figure it out, and it's been driving us crazy.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

We're really lost. Like our first trip that we ever went on together was our two-year anniversary trip. And we went to Vietnam and Bali.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Amazing. No notes. Yeah. And then our our seven-year anniversary trip, we went to, and in this order London, Paris, Amalfi, and Rome.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Rome was last. And we didn't spend enough time in Rome. If you're ever in Rome, you need at least three, four days, five days.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

We've hit all the bangers.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

So we've hit all the bangers.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

We kind of screwed ourselves on it. We did. Yeah. Because yeah, I mean, now we're like, where do we go now?

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Where do we go now?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Leave us recommendations, guys. We would really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

And I'm a two-country hopper girl, okay? We don't vacation, we travel. We're not there just getting cute and drinking by the beach, which we also do, yes, obviously. But we get lit, we get drunk, we get fucked up, and we like to see historical.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

We like to live as the locals.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

We like to live as the locals do. So you guys please send us some send us some suggestions. We were thinking Lisbon and Morocco, but Morocco doesn't seem to have like an alcohol-free policy. And we like to get lit.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

So anyway, those are our first world problems.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

And also with the listener letters, I'm going in blind with you guys. Asia has kind of, you know, skimmed through it a little bit just to make sure that it's good to go. But I'm going in completely blind like you guys. So I'm excited. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

All right, here we go. So the first one we have here, it is my mom genuinely hates me. Would I be the asshole for cutting her out of my life? That's really sad.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

I know that is sad.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

I, 22F and my mom, 47F, have never had a good relationship. Since forever, she has tried to humble me, make me feel small, or remind me that I'm not good enough in some way. My mom is one of those people who tried to manage everyone's expectations and perceptions of her. She wants everyone to think she's so smart, nice, pretty, and funny. But I know that she's a piece of shit and deep, and deep down inside, she knows she's a piece of shit. That's the only reason why she tries to seem so perfect. That's real. A lot of people do that. I hate people who manage perception.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

That's deep.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

I wouldn't say that I'm drop dead gorgeous or anything, but she goes out of her way to remind me that, in quotes, when she was my age, she was prettier, and so many men loved her and would do anything for her.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

One of those moms.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

One of those moms, those belittling moms. Yeah. Girl, it was back in the day. It ain't today, is it? And that's why you talk about it now. Um they would she would so many men, she would also always say she was prettier, and so many men loved her and would do anything for her. She'd make fun of me for not having a boyfriend, blaming my weight or my hair or my nose. But what she doesn't know is that I do have a boyfriend. She just doesn't know about him because she tries to ruin everything for me. When I was in high school, I brought a guy home for dinner, and all she did was make jokes about me and how she hoped I would be prettier. She made jokes about me and how she hoped I would be prettier, but at least I was pretty enough for a handsome boy like him.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Jeez.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

I'm finna rock your mama.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Um that I'm older, she comments more on my looks, and for the record, I love the way I look, but she wants me to get a nose job because mine, in quotes, it says, looks too ethnic. She yells about how she would pay whatever the cost, and that I should go to her surgeon, and that we could, and that when we go anywhere together, I look terrible and like her servant and not her daughter.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Jesus. She's racist too. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

That's intense. Classism, racism. She's checking all the boxes.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

She's racist too. No, that's terrible. Um, my dad passed when I was 13. Oh. And she hasn't had a relationship since, even though she has tried, in all caps, it says, very hard. Yeah, might I add? She constantly tries to force me to only date rich men because she says money is the most important thing. And then parentheses, it says she really wants me to marry, but really it's just for her, not for me. And she also says that rich men don't like ugly girls, so I need to have work done. Having a mom who tries to break your self-esteem to get you to change yourself is something I feel like a lot of people don't talk about enough. I feel like I'm not allowed to love the way I look.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

FYI, we're Greek, and I love my nose. It's literally a part of my heritage, and I look just like my dad, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Don't a month ago, she booked me a consultation with a plastic surgeon to see what can be done about my face, and I refused to go. I didn't show up. And when I talked to her last, she screamed at me on the phone about it. For like 40 minutes, she went on about how ungrateful, ugly, and fat and bratty I am. Mind you, I'm 115 pounds. She told me that my desire to remain ugly is why I will have a sad, empty, and poor life, and that no man will ever want me unless he's charitable. I finally had enough and told her to stop projecting her failed love life and self-hatred onto me.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

And that she's mad because I'm young and she's old and washed up. I told her I hate her, and if my dad could see her now, he'd hate her too. And I hung up. Dang. I only feel bad about bringing my dad into it because even though it's true, I feel horrible for saying it. I try to have sympathy for my mom because ever since my dad, she has not been the same. But at the same time, because of her, I have dealt with depression, eating disorders, body dysmorph, and body dysmorphia. Just because she's my mom does not mean she can treat me like her personal punching bag. I regret what I said, but I'm done with her shit. Even though she's the only parent I have left, would I be the asshole for completely cutting her out of my life?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I almost cried there in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

I know. That that's always a really bad situation where it's, you know, like a mother and daughter, or it's a, you know, child and a parent that separate in that way, especially over something so stupid, so superficial.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

I know. Like I I it's already hard enough being a woman in the world. I can't imagine being a woman in the world navigating people's criticisms of my body, my physique, my appearance, and then also having to navigate that my mom thinks I'm ugly and hideous, and that the the only type of man that would be with me is a charitable man. Like he's doing charity. That's how you would talk to your 22-year-old daughter who already doesn't have a dad to further reinforce that there's nothing wrong with her. And it really is sad to me that she looks just like her dad. I love that actually, that she looks just like her dad. Yeah. But what is devastating about that is her her physical likeness to her dad seems like something her mom wants to change. And like maybe she does have a bigger nose. Who gives a shit? Who cares? You know what I mean? I don't have the smallest nose in America, but I would literally never change my face. Like the people that get plastic surgery, shout out to y'all. There's absolutely no shade. But I personally could never wake up in the morning realizing I don't look like my parents anymore. I think that that would just trip me out. And there's nothing in my life that's a barrier between me and the life that I want because of how I look. You know, there's some celebrities and they get a ton of work done and they don't look recognizable to how they used to look. And that's almost like a barrier to entry for the life that they want, but I don't have that. And I just could never imagine waking up in the morning and just like not seeing my mom and not seeing my dad, especially after they they pass, which they're not gonna do because I replaced all their parts with robot parks to their sideboards or they don't live a thousand years until I deactivate them, but I'm still gonna knock on wood.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Of course, naturally, no, I mean, well, it seems like uh her and her mom have two completely different preferences of what looks good and what doesn't look good, you know. Like she obviously loves her nose, she loves her face, she's like, No, I like it. And then the mom is trying to, you know, project onto her, oh no, it's not good looking. It doesn't look like all these people, or it doesn't, it looks what did you say, ethnic?

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Yeah, like being an ethnic woman, talk about some you look too ethnic is crazy. Is she ethnic?

SPEAKER_00 10:00

I thought she's they're Greek. She said they're Greek.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

She said we are uh they probably like lighter, though. I'm assuming that doesn't have anything to do with your features, yeah. You're you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Or maybe the dad's Greek and the mom's not Greek. I don't know. But you know, she said we are Greek. I I really wish that, and I guess this is my kind of advice to this situation is I really wish that you and your mom can continue to have these conversations because it seems like your mom was kind of like nagging, nagging, nagging, and then you finally broke and were like, I'm not going to, you know, succumb to what you need from me and what you want me to do, and you want me to change my face. Like my face, you want me to do all these things for you, like that's not about it's good that you stood up to her, and I'm sure that you probably need to do that a couple more times. So sad. But I think eventually maybe you guys can get on the same page, not going to lie, because it seems like your mom is really hurting too. Like she has her own insecurities and her own things that um she's going through, but what she said is she changed after their the passing of her father.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

So I think that, you know, you guys, I think, can find common ground if you're willing to put in the work because it's going to take a lot more work and it's going to take a lot more of you pretty much just blocking out your mom and just kind of you know ignoring what she has to say because she can't physically make you go into a surgery and change your face and do all these crazy things. So it's you don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

I think that you don't want to be, you know, quote unquote an orphan, you know, even if it's by choice, essentially, because you're cutting your mom out of your life. Yes, you still have one living parent, but how much of a parent is that parent if they belittle you constantly? Yeah. And I think there's an expectation for people to remain loyal to their parents no matter the charge, no matter the trauma, no matter the abuse. There's always this hierarchical expectation that I am the parent, you owe me loyalty. And that is so detrimental to so many people's psyche because it breaks what you're able to normalize. Yeah. So if you're accepting poor behavior from your parent who belittles you and chastise you and cripples you. Your biggest supporter. And now they're teaching you that it is okay for you to be treated like this. Yes. I personally don't think that you're the, I don't think that you're the asshole for wanting to cut your mom out of your life. And also anybody whose parents are their big are their first op, there's a lot of people whose parents were their first bully.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

I know.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

And they always talk about how detrimental that was and how heartbreaking it was and how it's changed the trajectory of how they experience relationships ongoing. Because if you don't have a foundation of self-respect and that reinforcement at home on a parental level, on a consistent basis, you will there are times where you will absolutely accept anything from anybody else because it's what you're used to.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

And I don't want to say for you to give up on your mom because this is your only parent left. And I'm sure that she's hurting because of your dad. That's not an excuse, though, at all. That's not an excuse. There are hella parents who have been through work.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

If you do choose to try to work things out, make sure you have distance. And it seems like she does in the way of like she, I'm assuming she doesn't live with her mom anymore. That's why she's able to just be like, I'm done with you. You know what I mean? If you you can't really say I'm done with you, and then still be living with the person, you know. So I'm assuming that she probably has her own established, you know, home. And um, it seems like she's she has a boyfriend as well, so they're probably doing their own thing. And I think keeping that distance is healthy, but resolving it would also be healthy too. I don't think it's you know what I mean. Like, I I think that distance is definitely gonna be best for both of you, but the all overall, the thing that will um not haunt you, and you know, you don't have this regret, and you don't have any of that will be resolving it with her.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

As much as you can, like try to take as much action as you can because at the end of the day, your mom's not gonna live forever. And do you want to live with the regret of not having tried to mend your relationship? Is mending a relationship a child's job ever? No, it is not. It is your parents' responsibility to parent you, even if you are 85 years old. You know what I mean? If they're still alive, obviously they'd be freaking ancient. Like, give me the keys to that, give me that hack. But, you know, your parents signed up to be a parent, and it is so unfortunate that so many people, so many children end up having to parent their parents because their parents aren't good people, or they're immature, or financially unstable. Or they're bully parents.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

That's the thing. Like, bully parents is such is a real thing, you know, because I think they were either bullied or they were bullies as children, and so that's kind of how they grew up coping with things, and so they are gonna just bully you thinking it's like this fun, light thing, but it's like, no, it's it's really screwing with my brain.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Yeah, it's cute to poke fun at your kids, make jokes, do pranks. Actually sitting there and dismantling their self-images is insane. Yeah, telling your daughter that only a man would be with her if he was a charitable guy and that she's ugly and that she needs to get a nose job is insane. And parents who belittle their children are pieces of shit. So your mom is a piece of shit. You weren't right about that, you weren't wrong about that. But I will say that I would love to see you at at least attempt to get into therapy or to have some sort of open-air conversation with your mom. Maybe do it in a public place because she seemed like the type of lady that might go off in private. Um, and try to find some common ground. And then to the point about parents who bully their children, Grant and I are watching Married at First Sight. And Mecca, this tall, handsome black dude, alt, very alt, paints his nails, got some tooth gems, and whatever. His dad is constantly nagging him and belittling him, so much so that it's impacting his relationship with that Billy Joe Ray, Jolene, something like that. BJ, I think the girl's name is she's got a different name.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

It's it it impacts your entire life. And it definitely impacts your relationships ongoing because you you think you need to be, you know, a very specific way that you were taught, but you have to break those. Um break them chains.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Yeah, break them. Yeah, break those chains. And if you allow your parent to continue to bully you, and you don't at least seek therapy for yourself to break down all of the years of trauma that she has built up within you, you're gonna carry that into your relationships unknowingly. And that's not something that I want for you. Like you really have to become so self-aware.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

You see, exactly. But you are, what you seem. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You seem she seems smart enough to like break those patterns that her mom is trying to perpetuate.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Or at least know that know that there are steps that she could take to break those patterns. So I would love to see you in therapy, um, maybe some sort of group coping mechanisms that are healthy, and hopefully you and your mom are able to get on some sort of common ground.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

But take control of the reins of trying to steer that relationship. Like if it's yeah, if you're going to go that route where you're like, you know what, I want to figure this out. I want us to get on the same page here. Take the reins on it. The relationship. Do not let your mom, yeah. Do not let your mom steer that at all. Like, you take the reins. And it seems like you're the freaking responsible one here. So I mean, it seems like you should be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

But and there's nothing wrong with your nose, girl. No, and if it's big, who cares? It's your nose.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Your boyfriend likes you for you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

And you like you for you. More than you.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Focus on your relationship too. Don't don't focus on you and your mom's relationship. That's just, you know, if that comes, then that comes, but focus on the relationship you're building right now with your boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Okay. That was great. Um, thank you so much for sharing. I'm sorry you're going through that.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

And I hope that there are other people out there that that feel heard in that because there are tons of people who are like, My parent was my mom or my dad was my first bully. Yeah. And that's just that's terrible. I've I've had bully family members as well. And it uh I felt hideous for so many years. It messes with you, especially as a child.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

So ugly, especially when you're a child, like it's it, it's ingraining something in you subconsciously that you're gonna hold for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

And I've told this story on the podcast before, but this is like forever ago. I had this uncle and he would take pictures of me. He only dated light skinned or white women, which is context because they didn't have the same features as I did. And he would take pictures of me all the time when he would babysit me or whatever, um, with my brother. I wasn't alone with this guy, but anyway, he would take like pictures with of me. And then while I was doing something, he would warp my photos to make me look like some sort of ogre, to maybe look like some Shrek or some ugly-faced creature. And he'd be like, This is what you look like to me. Ha! And I was convinced that that's how I looked to other people. And so when I saw pictures of myself, all I could see reflecting back at me were these warped images of my uncle messing with, you know, how I actually looked. And because he was so into women that didn't look anything like me, I really, it really just underscored how ugly I was. I was like, oh, this is what I look like to everybody. Yeah, that's why people date light skin or or white women is because they're looking for features that don't look like mine, these inflated features or whatever. And then I grew up and I was like, you know what? I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Yep. And I've never had plastic surgery, but I do want Botox.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

No.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Yes. Um, okay, we're gonna move on to the next episode. Uh we're gonna move on to the next listener letter.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

All right, y'all. Buckle, excuse my language, the fuck up for this.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

This is a this is a good one.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

This one probably is top three craziest stories we've read.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Dang.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

It's insane.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Okay, my husband is obsessed with my body and it's grossing me out.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Hi, Grant Asia. I've been with my husband going on 11 years. He is the love of my life. He's such a fun, sweet, and kind guy. Literally everything I ever wanted in a husband and father. We have a four-year-old daughter. When he and I were first dating, we were all over each other. We had sex all the time, like five times a week for years, which I think is above average for most couples. And there was always a physical and sexual spark between us. He'd always tell me how sexy I was, how hot I was, and how much he wanted me. And he was obsessed with my body, especially my boobs.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Okay. Boob guy, got it. Check.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

We've talked about boob guys on the podcast. I said they're creeps. Okay. I said they're creeps, so keep that in mind. Let's see. Everybody came for me when I said that, but keep that in mind. I don't have the biggest chest. I'm a pretty average C cup, especially for my size, but he would make me feel like I had Anna Nicole Smith boobies. Okay, iconic tits.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

And that was nice because growing up, I was always self-conscious about my body. So to be with someone who basically worshipped me was healing. I went through a period of time where I thought about getting breast implants to make them even bigger because a part of me was slightly insecure, that they weren't as big as he made them seem. And it made me a little self-conscious. And it also made me feel less attractive somehow. But the other part of me just wanted bigger boobs. IDK, how to explain it, but I got my wish during our first pregnancy. I went from having pretty regular boobs to having huge, massive tits, like actually so wildly big, bigger than I could have ever imagined they'd get. I was producing so much milk, I felt like a dairy cow. Ha ha. I loved them and he, and all caps it says, loved them.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

He would always rub on them whenever they got sore or stiff, which was hot, but it also made me feel like a dairy cow too, but a sexy one though.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Ha ha. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

We were in the kitchen one day and he was watching me pump for our daughter, and he jokingly asked if he could try my breast milk.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

I had tasted it myself, duh. So I grabbed a shot glass, squeezed some of my milk in it, and slid it over to him. What if they had a freaking country booster?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

At a bar.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

In a goddamn salute.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Just like imagine her popping up. That's gonna cost you. Three pence.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Three pence. Yeah. It's getting giving Homelander vibes right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Yeah. I grabbed his shot glass, squeezed some of my milk in it, and slid it over to him.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

When he tried it, he lit up. That whole day, all he could talk about was how tasty and pure it was.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Oh big home lender.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Sorry, I'm trying not to laugh. This is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Tasty and pure.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

All he could talk about was how tasty and pure it was. And after a while, he would jokingly always ask me for more or ask me for leftovers. I'd even catch him in the fridge late at night drinking what I had set aside for our daughter.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Oh my gosh. Your kid needs that, dude. What the hell?

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Your child needs that nutrition.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, feed the kids.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

What are we doing? Wow.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

That's insane. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Um this is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I'd even catch him in the fridge late night drinking what I had set aside for our daughter. He even made jokes of all the ways we could use my milk.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Like what?

SPEAKER_01 23:01

For milk and cookies.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Coffee creamer and ice cream, which was funny at first, but it became weird really fast.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

I had noticed a few times bottles I had pumped for her would be less than what I put in or missing. I told him to stop messing with her food, and he did, but then he started messing more with me.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Oh okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

I'm trying, guys. I'm really trying. During sex, he would try to suck on me real hard. And then it says, which was something he did before I gave birth, so it wasn't out of the norm, but I could obviously tell he was literally trying to feed on me.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

It's intentional now.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

I was actually disgusted by that. So I stopped showing interest in sex and stopped initiating. After a while, we were only having sex a few times a month. I told him his thing with boobs really started to feel like a weird fetish, and I didn't feel sexy or want to have sex if he would be like that. He promised he would chill and that this was all just new for him. And I accepted that. The new rule was no more boob stuff. And that kind of worked, but then I realized even though sex was booby-free, he would ask me a million times a day when I was going to pump or if I was pumping. And he would always watch or want to watch and ask me to wait so that he could watch.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

I'm over here trying to make sure my kid has freaking food, and this guy is watching me like a hawk. It made the whole breastfeeding experience totally creepy. I even feel bad for saying that, but that's how I felt. He looked at me dead serious and said, Not her, me.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

Oh my gosh. Oh no. Dang.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

I almost threw up. Girl, I'm finna throw up right now. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

He's like, weird, there's so many things we can do with it. That was weird. Yeah. Like, wait, are you gonna open up a coffee shop or something and start making fraps with me?

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Oh my god. Jeez. He looked at me dead serious and said, Not her, me. I almost threw up. My skin started crawling, and it was a feeling I will never forget. I just felt so disgusting, disgusted, and cold. The worst part was that he tried to make it a sexy thing. His creepy little face.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

The worst part was he tried to make it a sexy thing. His creepy little face, when he said that, is burned into my mind. I screamed, I'm not your fucking cow, you fucking pig. I told him he was disgusting. I grabbed my daughter and stormed out. I stayed with my parents for two weeks, which was in all caps, says terrible. Because how am I supposed to explain to my parents why I'm here? Oh man. Yeah, it's not like you can tell your mom and dad my husband's trying to milk me.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

The hell. While I was gone, I told him we need to get couples therapy for whatever he's going through. And this whole experience has changed how I see him and even see myself. Oh, that sucks. Um, I told him that he made me feel so disgusted with myself and that I wish I was just invisible to him. He started crying, which yuck. I know that's right. She said yuck.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

The ticks, the icks just keep piling up. He's like, What are you, a baby? Literally.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

He started, he started crying, which yuck. How could he be the one with the creepy fetish and the one crying? He opened up and said he didn't realize how he was making me feel, and he would go to therapy and do whatever I wanted. I told him I wanted to get I told him I wanted him to get a fucking grip and that I regret having his child. To this day, I feel so bad about that because it's not true. I love our daughter. But had I known my pregnancy boobs would unlock his repressed freako behavior, I don't think I would have done it.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

What is that? That's strange. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Yeah we did therapy for a year and it fixed a lot of things, but I would be lying if I said it fixed everything. Now, when we have sex and he touches my boobs, I still get PTSD from the whole thing. And I never saw myself only having one kid. I always wanted two, but I'm nervous to get pregnant again because I don't want to trigger his weird behavior again. Sorry for the long story, but even though it's been years since then, I want another kid. I want to see my husband like I used to, and I want to move on. What should I do?

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Wow, that was a very interesting story. Um, man, I think that's that's bad for a lot of reasons. Like, obviously, because she's just totally not into the whole breast milk thing. Like, she's she doesn't understand it or get it as a kink. It's weird. And on top of that, like, what happens when she runs out of milk? Like, I think that that guy is starting to get this new kink unlocked and he's becoming obsessed with it, to where if she can't give it to him, he might go elsewhere to get in. Think about that. It might like put a big halt in their sex life in general because he's like, You ain't got milk, so what's the point? You know what I mean? But men drink that's weird. Men loving to drink milk in general is weird. It's giving homelander, it's definitely giving homelander, but like when guys are like, Oh, I love drinking milk, I'm like, Oh, when they drink regular milk, just milk. Yeah, just milk from a cow, drinking that as a man is is weird.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

I feel like I met somebody recently and they're like, I'd love a glass of milk, or maybe it was on a reality show, and I was like, Oh my god, who's this guy? Check his fucking laptop.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Athletes like like drinking milk because they're like sold.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

You could attribute that to got milk.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

I guess you can attribute that to athletic for your bone density and stuff. But drinking milk is not the wave, man.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Drinking your like exploiting your wife's body for your own sexual and nutritional consumption is disgusting. And then also nutritional consumption. He is, that's disgusting. Using your bot, your your wife's body in that way, and then also perverting something that's supposed to give your child sustenance, yeah, is so selfish and fucked up. Like him being so obsessed with like, oh, feed me, mommy, like a mommy fetish.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Well, just and taking it to that level to where you're like so obsessed with it. Because I mean, if he was like kind of like, oh, it's kind of hot when you do that, and it just stayed there, but he's not like, oh, I need to watch every time you do it, and you need to save some for daddy.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Him trying to like save some for daddy, him literally being like, Oh, well, you're not gonna stop breastfeeding, yeah. Or or your milk won't dry up if you continue, because I guess that's a thing. Like, your body as a woman, I guess you'll continue to create breast milk as long as the baby is.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

That's why there's those freak moms who like have like six-year-olds still sucking at their tooth.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

And if you listen to our podcast and you're breastfeeding your six-year-old, you're gross, dude. You're gross, you're gross. We think you're gross.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

And it's typically a boy and a mom. Always a boy. Always a boy mom doing some weird shit like that.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

I wonder what that is.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

I almost am it falls into that same psychologic, you know, weird thing of boy moms, boy mom relationships.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Uh, not all boy moms, if you guys get it, you get it. If you don't, we're not gonna keep clearing this up every time.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

A boy mom is different than a mom who has a boy. That's what I'm saying. We're when we you're labeled a boy mom, it's a totally different meaning than just having a son.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah, I feel like a lot of boy moms, like Grant said, he just clarified this. There's a difference between being a boy mom and being a mom who has a son. And I feel like there's a lot of these like pseudo-sexual relationships with these men and women and like their mommy issues.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Similar thing is like that's a mama's boy. Like, I have a mom, obviously. I'm not a mama's boy, and she is not a boy mom.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

So, I mean, there's so many things to unpack here. Is this is his behavior freak? Yes. It's a freak. I like that she said that. I'm not your fucking cow, you fucking pig. He is a pig and he's making your household literally feel like a barn. Like, what is this animal farm behavior he's got going on?

SPEAKER_02 31:02

It's weird.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

I don't get it. Him trying to literally big brother and like monitor you while you're doing something so vulnerable and supposed to be like ethereal and life-bringing, like breastfeeding your child. Nobody said it was glamorous, right? But you are breastfeeding a child to give them sustenance because kids can't even babies can't have water or they'll like die, apparently. So they can like only have nutrition or formula. So the fact that she's able to produce so much milk is awesome, but it's terrible that it's being perverted in this weird sexual way. So now when she breasts, yeah. Oh my god, yeah. And so now when she's breastfeeding her, she's trying to whip up some vanilla bean with it.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

It's so strange.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Weird. I feel like now when she breastfeeds her daughter, she probably even has some sort of psychological like hurdle that she has to get over just to do that. The fact that she's nervous to have more children ongoing is multifactory.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

You know, check her six every time she feeds her child, right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Imagine going into public and whipping out a tit to feed your kid, and you're not worried about the public, you're worried about your husband. Like, that's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

That is so terrible.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Yeah, that's psychologically, I think that's gonna mess her up. I'm also I'm interested in knowing about what his relationship is like with his mother. There's must be something there as well.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Girl, if you want to give us a part two, I'm dying to know what his mother-son dynamic is because this is abnormal. I'm not saying it's not normal to have kinks. A lot of people have kinks. There's a lot of men out there with like milk kink, fetish kink, feeder kinks. There's all kinds of kinks, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:28

But not being able to control it is where it gets out of line.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Exactly. So we're not judging the kink factor of it. If he likes to have a little bit of breast milk squirted at him, all by all means, dude. But it sounds like he doesn't understand how to like control himself, control himself. He has no self-control. And that's one of the most important things you can have when you have a fetish or an extreme kink like that, is you have to practice self-control.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Can't let it take over your life, exactly and ruin your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

And now it's taking over her life. She feels weird about having another kid because she doesn't know if it's gonna reactivate him. And how could you ever see your man in the same way? Like he's made you this commodity that it is supposed to be available for his sexual gratification when literally your body is processing something that is to exactly feed your daughter. And now he's getting off on it. He's made it a sexual thing, he's doing it for sex, he wants to make ice cream, he wants to fucking cream his his coffee. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

That is disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Take a goddamn chill pill, dude. But like, it's really unfortunate that you can be with somebody who makes you feel beautiful, yeah, and that that can sometimes be a double-edged sword because she's like, I've never had the biggest hits, but he made me feel like they were so amazing and great. But now I feel embarrassed because they're so big, because of what they can do, because of what my body is capable of. And I can't imagine walking through a relationship where you have an insecurity and having sex with your partner where it's triggering some form of PTSD that they inflicted onto you. I am curious if there is actually a path for it. It says that they've been together 11 years and they have a currently have a four-year-old daughter. So, what's that math?

SPEAKER_00 34:09

This doesn't seem like some fun little thing. Some funny little thing that you can kind of brush off and just move past.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

It's really not fun.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

It seems like it's really taking some time to get past this. And yeah, like if she wants another child, I mean, it's gonna just bring this whole thing back up again, and you're gonna have to go through this all again.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

And even if it doesn't, she's going to feel like she's gonna be so insecure. 100%. Your body changes so much when you're pregnant, you're so vulnerable when you're pregnant, and you're so emotionally haywire when you're pregnant. So having to having to manage your emotions because you're afraid or nervous or scared of how your husband will perceive your body during one of the most vulnerable times of a woman's life is a tragedy.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Make sure you're checking his foot, make make sure you're checking his phone regularly and making sure that he's not out there like buying off the market from people or something. I didn't think you know what I mean. Like, because that's what I'm saying. Like, as soon as she, you know, taps out, he probably will want to feed that kink that he's been, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

I don't think that he's gonna be able to manage it because he showed he wasn't gonna be able to manage it. I think he's just gonna be able to partition his life. Yep. So it's like he's presenting a different version of himself to you, and then he's going out with a dominatrix. We don't blame the dominatrix, she's doing her job, right? But maybe she's one that has just given birth and now she is able to fulfill some sort of milk titty fetish for this man, and that's where he's going. I would never say, well, just repress it. You're broken. But this guy specifically, if he goes out and he seeks somebody else to fulfill that, that is concerning to me. Yeah. There are a lot of people. You would be surprised how many people have a dominatrix or um are involved with sex workers, how many men are involved with sex workers who are in long-term relationships with their partners. And, you know, dominatrixes, maybe some of them do have sex with them, with their with their patrons. A lot of them don't. Um, that's cheating if they have sex. It's a great area for me getting your kink fulfilled. I don't know. We'll talk about that on another episode. But the point is, this man is wrong. And if he explores that, he's wrong because he didn't take the proper avenues or the responsibility that it takes to explain a kink to your partner and have them help you navigate it. So I think that had he done it properly the first time where he was like, you know what, we need to sit down and talk about this. I'm going crazy. He got lost in the sauce, got lost in the milk. He got lost, he got lost in the titty sauce. Yeah. So unfortunately, because of that, there is no bridge back to exploring this with his wife. Yeah. And I do think that therefore he will go seek it elsewhere. Had he done the right protocol, I don't think it would be this big of an issue. But he went haywire. Yeah. Like, like every time she breastfeeds, you're sitting there waiting for her to pour you up a shot.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Just so it seems like so many icks were activated on her part. I just can't even imagine in her mind. Yeah. It's going to be tough to get through that for sure. But let's let's go ahead and let's move on from this one. But I think that it seems like that was pretty traumatic, and there's definitely gonna be some PTS titty.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

PTST!

SPEAKER_00 37:21

No, but I think there's gonna be some some PTSD. Sorry about that. But I think there's gonna be some you know PTSD from that. Yeah. Um, especially if you guys have another child. So I hope you guys will be able to get through it. Definitely keep going and seeing a counselor and trying to figure it out. That's what you should do. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Um, and and then like like we said, our our closing advice for you is get counseling for yourself, um, for him, maybe some sort of postpartum. Well, I guess it's super, super postpartum now, but I guess any time after you have a baby is postpartum. So I would continue getting counseling for that and decide really whether or not you think you could continue forward with this guy. I'm not advocating for divorce or separation. I just this would be a very difficult thing to come back to come back. Because you've he's showed that he has no self-control beyond him having a very strange fetish. Yeah, he has showed that he does not have self-control.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

And that it's difficult for him to respect your boundaries when you are strongly enforcing them. And that's probably my biggest concern. Uh, and then also, dude, you got a daughter as she ages, she will start to develop. And who's to say that being activated by a bunch of boobies is not gonna make this guy go deserve?

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Oh gosh, I hope it doesn't. I hope so too point.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

Yeah, I hope it I hope it doesn't too. I don't want to just assume that he would be that way, but like, who knows? Your daughter gets pregnant one day, and like like oh no.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Like, what?

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Like, where is the line drawn for this guy? He has no self-control.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Yeah, he needs to be able to do it. Where is the line drawn for this guy?

SPEAKER_01 38:51

He just seems like he's into it, yeah, no matter who it is. It didn't even seem like it was special because of his wife. After a while, he became so obsessed with it that now this is his obsession, more than it being something that, like, you know what I mean? Makes sense is is between he and his wife.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

So sorry if I took it to a dark place, but that is truly my concern here.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Um, the saloon reference was pretty funny, though.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

That was hilarious. Yeah, it was very funny. Slapping the titty on the table for bartender.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

Okay, uh, I hope you're well. Please get please get help. Please seek counseling.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Okay, we're going into our last listener letter.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Hi, hanging out forever. I'm 17 and having a baby boy early this August. His father won't be in his life, but that's what I want. I couldn't be more excited, don't get me wrong. But at the same time, I feel this undeniable pressure already. I can tell nobody expects me to be perfect, but it feels like no one expects me to be even good. Aw.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Not to mention my body image has gone in the trash. And while I understand your body changes, I can't count how many times I've cried over missing my old body. Dreaming of taking bikini pics and posting them on my story with a stupid song I don't remember all the lyrics to. I never thought I'd be the pregnant girl from high school. Sometimes I wish I could go back to ensure this never happened. And other times I can't wait to prove how good of a mother I am to people who think I'm gonna mess it up. Honestly, there's so much, especially because it's my senior year. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

Oh, she's in high school. She's in high school. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Honestly, there's just so much, especially because it's my senior year, and I wish I could just do what I've always done and ignore the others because my opinion matters most. But I honestly just feel so broken lately. I'm stuck between what it means to be a good mom, a fun friend, damn, it's real, and loving myself fully again. I spent my last three years of high school gaining confidence and learning to love my body, not just from compliments, but from my own acknowledgement. And now it feels like all the progress is ruined. Honestly, as I'm writing all this, I forgot, I completely forgot what I wanted to ask. I just think I want to hear your thoughts and any advice that could help me with senior year, body image, and the pressure of others. I'd really like anything, really.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Damn. Uh, first of all, I will say for somebody who's 17, you are incredibly well spoken.

SPEAKER_02 41:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

This was one of the easiest listener letters I've ever had to read. You know, there's some people who send stuff and it's just broken all the way down. I'm like, I'm not reading that. I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yeah. But I I do want to congratulate you on your ability to get your point across. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Eloquently.

SPEAKER_00 41:25

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Yeah. It seems like you do, it seems like you do want to have a child. Um, you know, even though you are kind technically a child yourself. Um, so I mean it's it's a lot of responsibility that's coming your way. It seems like she uh probably has a good foundation though, you know, to kind of help her out. Maybe her parents are there to help her, or she didn't seem to have too much fear surrounding that.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

She said, I can tell nobody expects me to be perfect, but it feels like nobody expects me to even be good. That does not sound like a very supportive that's true.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

That's true. Yeah, that's true. And I wonder if that's coming from her family or from just her friends. Because yeah, I I can't lie, when I was in high school and I saw girls getting pregnant, I was like, Are you guys crazy? Like, what are you thinking? Yeah, you know, um, but I mean, I think that this is a tough one.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

This is tough.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

Yeah, this is tough because it's such a big responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

It's tough, it's tough for multiple reasons because it's it's so layered, right? It's tough because normally the advice we give, we just kind of shoot it from the hip because we're dealing with adults. Yes, you know, this is somebody that's 17 years old listening to our show, dealt with, watching our clips, and we've never dealt with somebody that I can remember in this age bracket.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

We don't have our own personal experience with him.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

And we don't have our person, we don't have our own personal experience with pregnancy or or uh young pregnancy. But I will say that um something, oh fuck, this is hard. This is really hard. This is a hard one.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

I think something positive to say is that you know, having a baby around that age is probably like the healthiest age to have a baby. Not in the sense of like it's a lot of responsibility put on you, but I think like physically, like, yeah, right? Isn't that a thing?

SPEAKER_01 43:18

Grant's grasping at straws. Let me take it over. Let me take it over here.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Isn't that a thing though? Like around that time is like kind of nature's, you know, I have no idea. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Um, but I but I will say, I'll take it over. Don't listen to Grant. That's terrible advice.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

Um I was trying to be positive.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

No, no, yeah. There there are some positive aspects.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Like, there's there's less um possibility of something going wrong, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Hang it up. You're trying your best.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

Yeah, you're trying your best.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

No, that that's that's deserved.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

I will say that you said you just want to hear our thoughts and any advice that could help you with senior year. Body image and the pressure of others. The number one thing I will say is when you're dealing with a teenage pregnancy, during that time you'll really figure out who your friends are. You're really gonna figure out who your friends are, you're really gonna figure out how your friends truly feel about you. And beyond that, you're gonna really find out how your friends' parents truly feel about you.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

And whether or not you actually have a solid foundation of a community or a village to help you raise your child. Because the number one advice that I could probably give you is being that you're so young, you're not gonna be, I don't want to say you're not gonna be able to do it alone. Yeah, but try to reach out to as many people as you trust as possible so that you can, so that you can delegate. You can delegate motherhood, you can delegate schoolwork, you can delegate friendship. Don't ever think that just because you're a mom, that's all you'll ever be, especially now that you're a young mother. It can be very easy for people to put on you that, oh, she's a teenage pregnancy, that's where her life goes. It's going down the drain, that's her decision. She's made a bad choice. Is it the smartest choice? I can't vouch for that personally, because I think that there's so much more life to live. But will I say that your life is now permanently limited because you've had a child? No. I think that if you are able to put yourself in a strong financial position, if you're able to put yourself around people who truly support you and want to see the best for you and your baby, there is an outcome and a situation, a scenario where you're able to build up so much confidence just from how you're mothering, that that'll spill into other aspects of your life as well. And don't feel as though all of the work that you have put in to understand your body and love your body and create self-esteem, that is, and I quote, which is fantastic that you would say this, not just from accomplishments, not just from compliments, but from your own self-acknowledgement. That's a huge thing to say.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Uh, that type of work does not just fall to the wayside because your body has changed because you're pregnant. You've already established the mental foundation and the fortitude it takes to train your brain to think that way about yourself. And it's not impossible to train your brain to think your that way about yourself again. I will say, however, you need to make sure that you're putting yourself in the proper situations so that you can feel good, right? You're going to the gym, you're eating well, you're doing things that make you feel you. I don't want you make you feel like you. No matter how old you are, I don't care if you're 30, 15, 17, 48, no matter how old you are, you should never lose yourself to motherhood. You should never lose yourself to parenthood. And while you're 17, don't think that, oh, I have to be a grown adult now. In some ways, and a lot of ways, you do.

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

But you can still be 17, but you just have to be 17 knowing that you're going home to a baby boy that needs you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Yeah. And that's a lot of responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

It's a lot of responsibility. And I hope that you have the type of friends that understand that you are a mom now and don't stop inviting you to things and don't stop feeling like you're worth being invited to, being invited. Yeah. Right? A lot of us, a lot of us, we get in our heads and we get in our own way with things that we don't think that we deserve because where we are in our life. If you want to go to a party with your friends, make it known that you want to go to a party with your friends. They might stop inviting you because they just assume that you don't have the time. But she's a mom now, you know?

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Find new friends. That's the thing. But that's true too. You will find new friends. All of them are not going to be your lifelong friends. Maybe a couple of them will be, but you're you have so much life and time ahead of you that there's so much that's going to come into your life. Um, and I think that what Asia said was a great point of like, don't let motherhood take over your life. You still have time, you still have all these experiences that are gonna come to you. And I know that, you know, high school can feel like it's the end of the world for people who do for even people that don't have pregnancy or any responsibilities like that. Yeah, it still feels like the end of the world for everybody around you. But just know that it's not the end of the world. You are going to be able to get through this, you're gonna get through high school, you're gonna have this baby. And there's gonna be so much to life that it it just depends on you, though. It depends on the decisions you make. Um, you have to be, you know, smart because now you're not just looking after you, you're looking after somebody else. So you have to make sure that you're making the right decisions for the both of you, which is going to be harder on you. But if you're up to the challenge, then you'll get through it. You know, you'll get through it regardless. You you will get through it. And so that that's just something that you need to remember that this isn't the end of the world. And you know, friends will come and go, but at the end of the day, once you're an adult and you um are like in your 20s, something like that, then you're going to learn that what's really important in your life, you know, like the things that are important to you now are going to completely change in the next five years. So just keep that in mind and just um have that perspective.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

Yeah, that's a that's a wonderful point. And I I want to touch on a few things before, you know, we close the advice out. Um, what Grant said is absolutely right. When I was in high school, I didn't think I was gonna ever leave high school, I thought I would die, literally. And so when you're in high school, it really does feel like the high school for me. You feel trapped. Yeah, you feel trapped. And high school for me was the point of my life where I really felt like it would never go beyond that year. It would never go beyond any of these years, and then it did. And then you watch your life unfold. So I will say, have some sort of plan. I didn't really have a plan for my life. I got out of high school, I thought I was gonna die before I hit the age of 25. Here I am still. So I was like, oh shit, I don't have a plan. What am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 49:40

You need a plan because you have more responsibility than the average 17-year-old, right now.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

At least a basic plan. Yeah. Uh, some general advice I would give to you is as your son ages and as you get older and you're having a little bit more um you know, supplemental income and money that you can spend on you, never stop doing things that make you feel like your own person. Yeah. And then beyond that, don't become one of those mothers that tells their son how much they sacrificed for them. It was your decision to have sex, it was your decision to get pregnant, it was your decision to keep the baby. Never be one of those mothers, and I'm not saying that you will, but never be one of those mothers that's that's like, I gave up this for you. I was in high school with you, I did this for you because you don't want to carry that burden mentally for yourself and you don't want to project that onto your son. Uh, money-wise, that's a good point. Get a credit card, start building credit, do not accumulate debt. Do not accumulate a lot of debt. But I do think it's important at this point in time, as you're when you're a mother, you're gonna eventually want to start. You gotta start building a credit profile because you are likely gonna want to move out of whatever household you're living in if you don't want to live there for long. Build a credit profile, build credit, don't build debt. Um, don't ever live too far beyond your means, even if things are going great. These are personal lessons I learned. Um, and then beyond that, if you if you want something new, don't always need something new. There's a lot of people who feel like their life were stunted in certain aspects of their life. I need a new car, I need a new bag, I need a new apartment, I need a new house. I would not do that. I I've bought every car I had besides the first one, which was a gift from school because it was my dad's like 30-year-old truck, right? That was my very first car. But I bought two new cars after that. First one, great idea great idea. Second one, terrible financial disgrace.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

Now it's not a good idea to buy a car.

SPEAKER_01 51:22

Now it's not a good idea to buy a car. Buy something that's reliable, look at the safety of it, uh, look at the impact score, you know, these types of things, and really make sure you're be more cautious with your choices. Be more cautious with your choices. Be careful of when you start dating again, be careful about what type of men you bring around your son. Yes. Be careful not to let these casual relationships you get swept up in, and you're bringing every guy that you're dating around your son be very discerning. Uh, because that will teach your son how women deserve to be treated. You are a pillar for how he will go on to treat women. So uh you sound incredibly smart.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:00

You sound incredibly entitled.

SPEAKER_00 52:01

You have that. You have logic.

SPEAKER_01 52:02

I'm not worried about you in that way at all. Um, just make sure that you continue having a strong foundation. You you build your self-esteem over this period of time. And then the last advice I'll give is about high school. Go to your teachers and let them know that you might be struggling or that you want to continue and you want to knock this out the park and that you have goals to finish your senior year strong because that's what you should do. And your teachers, hopefully, if they're not pieces of shit, they will work with you. Yeah. Because a lot of people, they see young pregnant moms and they immediately want to be like, oh, she's done. She's done for, but don't count yourself out. And if you never count yourself out, nobody else will count you out either.

SPEAKER_00 52:37

Nice. There it is.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

So that's gonna be my advice, Betsy. You got this girl. We're your all aunt and uncle now, okay? We're we're gonna be able to get it. You'll be good. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Punk and auntie.

SPEAKER_00 52:47

That's the most important thing. Like you seem you seem intelligent.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:51

So just keep making intelligent decisions and uh lead with that.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Lead with that.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

All right. There it is.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Thank you so much for sharing. That was amazing. Youngest listener letter we've ever had submitted to us. Yeah, very well spoken. Yeah. I'm not worried about you, babe.

SPEAKER_02 53:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

So, you know, we're here. Send us more listener letters if you ever need additional advice on your journey. And that goes for everybody that sent us one today. Let's do a recap, man. We had freaking Homelander.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

We had Homelander.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

We have uh 17 and pregnant. Shout out to you, girl. You're gonna do fine. And then um the the mom.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Yeah, mom being your baby. Mom and daughter relationship.

SPEAKER_01 53:27

This got really deep. This got really intimate, and we appreciate y'all so much for sharing. Be safe out there. And as per usual, if you guys want to send us any listener letters, the link is in the description of our video. It's also in all of our bios across all of our social media.

SPEAKER_00 53:39

Send them in.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Send them in. And we are casting for our dating show. So don't forget to submit yourself to that. If you're looking for love, let Grant and I help you. We're casting for our dating show. We know what it means to be in love. We're trying to help y'all out.

SPEAKER_00 53:51

We'll help y'all.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

All right, besties. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Bestie Mail Listener Letters. We love y'all so much. Y'all are the best.

SPEAKER_00 53:58

Bestie mail. Is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_01 53:59

That's what I call it. Yeah, best email.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Oh, nice. I like that. No, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 54:02

It's like best email.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

So it's bestie in the email. You get it?

SPEAKER_00 54:08

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

Yeah. Okay, guys. He gets it. Bye y'all. Love you. Bye, Besties.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

Peace.