When my child boldly announced they were skipping college to chase a dream, I was thrown into a whirlwind of emotion. How do we, as parents, reconcile our desire for their security with their yearning for independence? On today's Reignite Resilience, Natalie and I, along with our special guests, peel back the layers of these complex experiences. We share heartfelt stories of non-traditional paths, celebrate the courage it takes to step off the beaten track, and challenge the stigmas that so often cloud society's view of success. It's a conversation that will resonate with anyone who's ever dared to question the status quo.
This episode isn't just about the journeys our children take; it's also a deep dive into the sea of emotions that we as parents navigate when expectations clash with reality. Reflecting on our own paths, we encounter the myriad of feelings—from pride to fear—that come with supporting our children's decisions, even when they stray from societal norms. Our discussion reveals how independence, fueled by the influences of social media, is reshaping the future, urging us to support and celebrate every step our children take in crafting their own stories.
We wrap up with a collective call to action, inviting all listeners to join the Reignite Resilience community and share their own tales of unconventional success. It's a chance to connect, to find solace in shared experiences, and to fortify the belief that each unique journey is worthy of applause. Whether you're a fellow parent, a mentor, or someone who's on their own non-traditional path, you won't want to miss this episode's reaffirming message – that passion and perseverance speak louder than any diploma.
Don't forget to listen and follow on your favorite streaming platform and on Facebook. Subscribe on Your Favorite Platform: https://reigniteresilience.buzzsprout.com Follow Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reigniteresilience
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
When my child boldly announced they were skipping college to chase a dream, I was thrown into a whirlwind of emotion. How do we, as parents, reconcile our desire for their security with their yearning for independence? On today's Reignite Resilience, Natalie and I, along with our special guests, peel back the layers of these complex experiences. We share heartfelt stories of non-traditional paths, celebrate the courage it takes to step off the beaten track, and challenge the stigmas that so often cloud society's view of success. It's a conversation that will resonate with anyone who's ever dared to question the status quo.
This episode isn't just about the journeys our children take; it's also a deep dive into the sea of emotions that we as parents navigate when expectations clash with reality. Reflecting on our own paths, we encounter the myriad of feelings—from pride to fear—that come with supporting our children's decisions, even when they stray from societal norms. Our discussion reveals how independence, fueled by the influences of social media, is reshaping the future, urging us to support and celebrate every step our children take in crafting their own stories.
We wrap up with a collective call to action, inviting all listeners to join the Reignite Resilience community and share their own tales of unconventional success. It's a chance to connect, to find solace in shared experiences, and to fortify the belief that each unique journey is worthy of applause. Whether you're a fellow parent, a mentor, or someone who's on their own non-traditional path, you won't want to miss this episode's reaffirming message – that passion and perseverance speak louder than any diploma.
Don't forget to listen and follow on your favorite streaming platform and on Facebook. Subscribe on Your Favorite Platform: https://reigniteresilience.buzzsprout.com Follow Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reigniteresilience
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Speaker 1:
In the grand theater of life. We all seek a comeback, a resurgence, a rekindling of our inner fire. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience. This is not just another podcast. This is a journey, a venture into the heart of human spirit, the power of resilience and the art of reigniting our passions.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back to another episode of Reignite Resilience. I am your co-host, natalie Davis. Pam, how are you Well? It?
Speaker 1:
is a Friday evening. I was just saying to you why did we schedule a recording at the latest part of the day, on a Friday, when you and I always have crazy weeks?
Speaker 2:
So I was like, yeah, I can tell you exactly why. Do you want to know? It's the time, it's the only part of our week that we both of us don't schedule things, and so when we're combining calendars, it's like, oh no, friday afternoon's totally open, it works perfect and in the moment it sounded fabulous.
Speaker 1:
Yes, and then today I was like what we're rethinking? Yeah, yeah, and we're talking about going and getting a snack in your car.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I'm going to totally need a snack. I'm totally getting off of this and doing a snack. I'll need a snack.
Speaker 1:
Well, I was excited that there was going to be something good Like I don't know sour patch kids or gummy bears, but no, you said tuna, it's tuna.
Speaker 2:
I got little pouches of tuna.
Speaker 1:
They don't sponsor us but there is a brand out there that has, like flavored tuna packets. Oh, I've had those, it's easy. Yes, I've had. Yes, those are actually quite delightful.
Speaker 2:
They're delightful. My favorite is the ranch. If anybody's thinking about it, and also for the listeners, I don't keep my snacks in my car. I just happen to be off site, because that does sound a little weird.
Speaker 1:
Well, we have been known to keep snacks in our purses and our bags and all the other things?
Speaker 2:
I definitely yes.
Speaker 1:
Yes.
Speaker 2:
And I've been on the road all day today. I've been hopping from meeting to meeting so I just happened to pack all of my sacks in the lunchbox and I stuck my lunchbox in the car, because who wants packets of tuna in their car?
Speaker 1:
No one wants that? No, because then you're going to have cats chasing you. Who?
Speaker 2:
doesn't want that. Oh my gosh. Well, welcome listeners. We are in rare form today.
Speaker 1:
Yes, we are this is the tired version of us. We're going to bring it. We're going to bring all of our energy Absolutely.
Speaker 2:
It's going to be good, it's going to be good and I'm so excited because we are talking about something that I don't think that we talk about enough, mainly because of where it comes from. Pam and I come from an era that you kind of just sweep things under the rug, things that you don't want to talk about family things, family quote unquote, family business, and so, as a result of that, we often get caught into doing the traditions, the norms and fulfilling expectations that are set upon us by other people. So we figured we would discuss unconventional journeys, sometimes a road less traveled, depending on who you are, maybe the road more creative. It's definitely outside the box thinking, though.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, I think I had brought this up to you. Gosh, it's been maybe a couple of months ago and I happened to be somewhere with a friend of mine and we were both discussing the fact that we have seniors in high school and both of them are choosing to do a non-traditional track, and so the traditional track, what you and I grew up with. You graduate from high school, you go to college. You either go on to get a master's degree or whatever, or you get married and you have kids and you get a job and rinse and repeat Absolutely yes, and it's so.
Speaker 1:
We were talking about this and the feelings we felt when we would be on with other friends or we'd be on social media and we'd see people posting oh, my child's going here and got a scholarship to here and is doing this, and it's almost like this feeling of I wouldn't say embarrassment, but it's like I don't know that I would go online and say my son's choosing not to go to college.
Speaker 1:
Online and say my son's choosing not to go to college, yes, yeah, why, exactly? Why is it that there has to be this rule that kids have to graduate from high school and go to college? And so I just felt like this was a good topic for us to go down, because I've got three kids, you've got two kids, none of my kids did the traditional route. Right and good or bad, right or wrong. I just think it's something we should talk about, because there's feelings that we feel as parents when our kids tell us you know what, no, I don't want to do that, I don't want to go to college. I think maybe a little bit of disappointment, a little bit of concern like, oh my gosh what does this mean for them?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, maybe a little guilt like gosh, did I show up the way I should have? Did I work too much? Should I have been around more? So kind of like all of those feelings. So here we are. This is our topic.
Speaker 2:
That continue to rush in yeah, absolutely yeah. Well, and it's so funny because, even as you talk about it, I started to like reflect on my own experience and, as Pam mentioned, like I graduated from high school, I went straight to college, not an option. I didn't have an option, so it would have been the route that I think I would have gone anyway. But my parents made it a point to drive home the fact that at graduation you must know where you're going and it's not going to be here, right and fine, that's not a problem. But when I was a freshman in college, what was interesting to me is that there were some girls and I remember it clear as day that lived in my dorm my freshman year and the conversation like led to well, I'm just here for my MRS degree and you know, naive little me, that's just like I'm, I'm, I'm pre-law. What do you mean? What's an MRS degree? What's that mean? And so then I'm just thinking it's an acronym for something else and it's like they're literally at college to find their significant other, to find their spouse, and there, as we talk about like the unconventional journeys, I had a conversation with one of those gals while I was in high school and her dad gave her a year to find her husband at Baylor and if she couldn't find her husband, her freshman year he was bringing her back home.
Speaker 2:
Like this is reality for people. And I was like, are you serious? And so, like that thought just blew my mind because I was like, first of all, it is super expensive for you to be here to find a husband. Yeah, that's the route you took, it is right, so a huge undertaking. But when we talk about that, the non-traditional right, but that was the understanding of that family and she was like, oh no, my dad told me my mom knows, my whole family knows, that's what we do. My mom met my dad in college and my grandparents met in college and that's kind of like the tradition. I think I was a little bit too independent to go that path but to even understand that it wasn't a value that was in my household, but it was eyeopening. I think that was the first time right. Otherwise, the people that chose not to go to college, I thought, well, you just chose not to go to college, not whatever. Do you know?
Speaker 1:
do. You do life whatever it's like and I was I was thinking about this Cause. So, like my oldest um, she's in her thirties now Um, she after she didn't go to college. After high school, she got on an airplane at the age of 18 and moved to New York. And I think about myself when I was 18, I was nowhere near the maturity level to jump on a plane, move across country to a big city Colorado Springs, not a big city and Noelle was coming from Fort Collins, an even smaller city, to move across the country and do that. I think some kids are different now. I think kids are more independent. They have exposure to more things social media and so they just are. I think that these kids that are doing this just have this different sense of independence, because there's no way I wouldn't have gone to college, because I would have been like I don't even know what I would do.
Speaker 2:
I don't know what it looks like. Yeah, exactly yes, but those kids that have that sense of adventure or even be having the ability to see beyond the box is what I'm going to say. But it puts a lot of kids in the state of like just having overwhelm and anxiety and one making the decision and then expecting it to be like a lifelong decision. Right, Because what else do we do where we're like make this choice. It's going to impact your forever.
Speaker 1:
I love that you say that because I think that talk about putting pressure on a child to make a decision that's going to impact the rest of their lives. Yes, where I can say, I mean, I've got my bachelor's, I also have a master's, I do nothing related to my bachelor's, yes and so. And yet I was supposed to decide at the age of 18, the career I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Yeah, which has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1:
So it's so interesting because, yeah, I think as soon as they get in, become a junior in high school, it's like where are you going to go to school?
Speaker 2:
Where are you going to go to?
Speaker 1:
school. Have you decided where you're going to go to school? Have you committed to a school? Talk about stress that we put on these kids to make that decision. And then it leads to me me to believe. It's like. I mean, I know some kids are very driven. They, they know from the time they're in kindergarten where they want to go to school and what they want to become.
Speaker 1:
But is it the kids or is it us, as parents, that are wanting them to go to a college, to to do the things that that we did?
Speaker 2:
I think both.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I agree, I think both, and I, and I think that it both of my well, my youngest is is a sophomore in college now, but I'm not. I'm not in this stage where the choices are being made. Different choices are being made by the kids, my kids now. But I still have a lot of people in my life that their kids are in this chapter of graduating high school and figuring out what that adult intro to adulting is going to look like for them. And it doesn't matter if the children so what I'm witnessing, if they're, if the choice is college or not, um, or if it's Ivy league versus state university, right, like it becomes, this, it's always a comparison of what am I going to do and truly, how is this going to impact there forever?
Speaker 2:
But you're right, pam. Like what? How many of us out there we and I'm a big believer in secondary education say what you will, even if it is from the stance of just simply having the experience and the independence of independence that, as I like to say, intro to adulting, and then the bonus is you get a degree right. That's the way I look at it. Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely.
Speaker 2:
So that's, I think that's an important piece that we can't like dismiss, but but. But it's always something, and and in witnessing the kids going through this, I'm observing the parents and how much they're taking on, and I think that's what goes to the topic that you were talking about. Like, is it guilt? Is it shame? Is it like? Does it reflect on the parent the decision that the kids make? What does that look like? What does that feel like?
Speaker 1:
Well, I think there is that feeling. I think there's that, you know, that fear, that you know, oh my gosh, my friends are going to judge me because my child didn't sign to college. It's that social comparison where you're getting on social media and we're like, oh, there's another one of my friends that's child committed to this college and to that college. And oh my gosh, and look at this and you're just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:
It's overwhelming, and then you almost isolate yourself because it's like you don't want to go hang out with these other families that are talking about, oh, they go off to college at this time, we're going to do the move in at this time and we don't have that, and so it's. It's yeah. It's just such an interesting feeling and so I did a little research cause I'm like all right, like if they don't go to school, if they don't decide to go to college, you know what does that mean for them in the future? But then I was like looking up some of the people that have gone that non-traditional path. We're talking about people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and Richard Branson, not stupid people.
Speaker 1:
Ellen DeGeneres, mark Zuckerberg I mean all of these people, oprah Winfrey, you know all of these people that chose this different path. And I think that what it comes down to whether you decide to go to college or you decide not to go to college I think it a hundred percent comes down to the passion and perseverance to be full into whatever decision you make.
Speaker 1:
So if you choose not to go to college, then have the passion and creativity to pursue something that you are passionate about. I don't mean you're not going to go to college. Go sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day. Find something that you are passionate about, set goals for yourself and pursue it. And I think that's the part. And with my oldest, she went to New York and she wanted to get into the fashion industry. She got a job in a couple of days, lasted for not even maybe six months in New York, realized how expensive it was, but a great experience. She came back, ended up going to school and getting her college degree, but again, not the traditional road, my middle child was my.
Speaker 1:
You know middle child syndrome. Like honor roll graduate from college scholarship for soccer and academics. Goes to college, blows out both knees, double knee surgery. Decides to take a break from college. Now she's 25. She'll get, she'll graduate this May, but with a brand new baby that she just had last month and um. Working full time, yeah. Going to school full time yeah. Not an easy road.
Speaker 2:
No, definitely not the traditional path. And can you plan it out that way? Who knows, right? I mean, I feel there's a certain degree to what you can plan out, at least to give yourself the next steps. But life is going to happen, right, like that's the reality is. Life is going to happen, and I think that's where the true testament comes in and where parents, in this particular case, should really place emphasis and reflection. It's what are your kids' abilities? To problem solve and navigate the world, regardless of the path that they take? My oldest, kind of, took the same route as your oldest, pam, so I don't know what it is about the oldest, but they just like jump the coop there, yeah. And so before she graduated from high school, she told me you know what? I'm going to sell everything that I own, and at that time she owned a car and, I think, clothes, and that was it.
Speaker 2:
And so she said I'm going to sell everything that I own and travel through Europe. And I was like I've been to Europe and that is not cheap, but okay, and so. But we supported her in that piece. Right, Like, tell us what that looks like. What do you want to do? What do you want to experience? How are you surviving? And quickly she pivoted and that became she's backpacking through Asia and so spent almost two years backpacking through Southeast Asia with her now husband, then boyfriend. But I think what the piece that I took comfort in was realizing that she's capable of navigating right, Like she's capable of going out there and actually living life. Intro to adulting, adulting 1.0, whatever it is that she decided to do at that point Traveling through a foreign country with just a backpack and your partner is adulting 1.0. I feel like that's a guaranteed introduction, yeah 100%.
Speaker 1:
She got a job. I mean I remember when you were going through that process of her getting ready to go and I can't even imagine those feelings that you had, that because I mean I was nervous for my daughter moving to New York to go to a foreign country even more so.
Speaker 2:
But I mean, look at the experience that she got that most people will never, ever experience, and she's like no, I mean, what else can you carve that amount of time out of your life to adventure like that?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and so I think that if there's anything that comes out of this episode, it's giving ourselves a little grace that our kids as well as us. We all have our own journey and just because they're choosing to do a different journey than we did, I didn't do the same journey as my brother. I didn't do the same journey as my sister. Right or wrong, it's just a different journey. All three of my kids are doing a different journey and I'm proud of every one of them. And I look at them and I'm like, oh my gosh, I never would have moved to New York. There's no way. I followed my brother to college. I lived in an apartment with him. Talk about, I mean, send me to a foreign country, forget about that. I barely would have made it through the airport.
Speaker 2:
Yes, but not now. Now she's fine, you guys Don't worry. She yes, but not now. Now she's fine, you guys don't worry, she's okay.
Speaker 1:
That's my kids. I still get a little anxious.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh, oh my, it's true she does. That's okay.
Speaker 1:
You just let Pam travel at Pam's pace and Pam does it Is that, and you got to travel with people like Natalie that will just take charge and make you laugh the whole time.
Speaker 2:
That's it Exactly. Well, here's the other side of that, pam, because I want to say and I'm not one to call people out all the time, but I will when it's necessary and I think if you are those parents out there that are stuck in that comparison and whatever your narrative is, figure that out right, like if you are finding yourself living vicariously through your kids, wanting something more than your kids want it. That's separate from the fact that you bring this judgment to conversations that you're having with other adults. Right, and I think that that's if you see within your circle or within your friend group that someone may be a little more soft-spoken or reserved in terms of what their children are doing. Do a quick check-in, like be a real friend. And like do a quick check-in, like hey, so what is your kid doing and how do you feel about it. Because whatever route they're taking, every parent is having some type of emotional roller coaster of an experience themselves.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely, absolutely, and, and who knows who the next Oprah Branson, steve jobs is going to be, and so you never know. And so I'm just excited to watch it unfold. And I just thought this was a topic, especially now because we're getting into the graduation season. I think I have 16 friends with kids graduating this year, so there's a lot of kids going in all different directions, and I just want us to be present in the fact that every child has their own journey and be okay with the journey that your children take and just be there to unconditionally love them and let them know that you're there, no matter what, no matter what. Let them know, because if they're going to fall, let them do it now when we're there to help them.
Speaker 2:
If they need it, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I love that. I love that. Just be supportive, and I think what you hit on is key, remembering that it's their journey. That's something that I always told my girls is this is your journey, right, like, whatever that looks like for you. You get to make that choice. Now, obviously, you don't make them, allow them to, to make those really big mistakes that you know. Don't go into the burning building, let's go to jail, don't break laws.
Speaker 2:
Let's reel all of that in. But, yeah, this is their journey right, and I think when you are able to enter into it from that like maturity level for a conversation with a young adult and letting them know that they have options and every option is going to give them and choices the choice is always theirs. So the options and choices that they make throughout life are it's going to ultimately impact that journey that they're on, and if they like it or not, that's completely up to them, because they'll still be on that journey long after the time that I'm on this earth. So that's what I, yeah, that's. I think that's a key piece. I love it. Well, pam, this is a great topic, thank you. Thank you for bringing it up. Unconventional journeys that we find ourselves on. I am far from traditional.
Speaker 1:
So I don't think either of us fit into that we might have been at one point. I was Now we are definitely outside that box.
Speaker 2:
A hundred percent. Yep, I erased all the lines Exactly. The box really doesn't even exist in my life anymore, but it's good.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I don't even know what my life anymore, but it's good. Yeah, I don't even know what that looks like. I used to. I used to.
Speaker 2:
I used to be terrified about the box. Yeah, and let me tell you it's.
Speaker 1:
It's way more fun. Yeah, yeah, just erase the lines you guys live your lives. I love it. They're outside the box.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:
This is fabulous.
Speaker 2:
Well, we hope that you all enjoyed this little mini episode of Unconventional Journeys and hopefully it resonates with you. If you know anyone that has kids that are graduating, send this to them. I'm sure that they would love to hear this. And also feel free to reach out and share your own stories with us on our Facebook or Instagram pages. We'd love to hear from you. Send us a message on Instagram, send us a message on Facebook, or head on over to reigniteresiliencecom, where you can learn more about what's happening in the world of Reignite Resilience and become part of our VIP community, where you can gather with other like-minded individuals that are like you, that are just igniting the fire within. We'll see you all soon.
Speaker 2:
Bye, guys. Are just igniting the fire within. We'll see you all soon. Bye, guys. Thank you for joining us on today's episode of Reignite Resilience. We hope that you had amazing ahas and takeaways. Remember to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like it and download the upcoming episodes, and if you know anyone in your life that is looking to continue to ignite their resilience, share it with them. We look forward to seeing you on our future episodes and, until then, continue to reignite that fire within your hearts.