Reluctantly Resilient with Chrissy Myers (part 2)

Have you witnessed a child display such emotional maturity it left you in awe? This happened in my engaging conversation with Chrissy Myers, as she unveiled the incredible emotional intelligence of her children, especially her 12-year-old son Caleb. His intuition for family dynamics is so sharp that he's the one calling for family meetings to keep their connections strong. We celebrate these young hearts' capacity for empathy and discuss how it shapes not only their personal development but also their lasting influence on friendships and future family bonds. Chrissy also peeled back the layers on her journey of authoring her book, revealing the vulnerability it demanded and the resilience it reinforced.

The road to writing a book and steering a business through a transition can be as daunting as it is enlightening. Chrissy Myers shares the profound personal realizations she encountered while penning her experiences, and how these moments of reflection unearthed memories and challenges that played pivotal roles in her growth. From the intricacies of collaborating with a book coach to taking the helm of a family business, Chrissy's anecdotes illuminate the empowerment found in resolving conflicts, forging a leadership path, and making critical business choices with conviction.

As we close the curtains on the 'Reignite Resilience' podcast series, we reflect on the valuable insights Chrissy imparted in her book, "Reluctantly Resilience." Her narrative is a testament to the strength that's often discovered during our most trying times. To our listeners seeking courage and inspiration, I invite you to unearth more about Chrissy's compelling story. Visit reigniteresilience.com and consider joining our VIP community for a wealth of support. Share this profound conversation, and remember to subscribe and like for continued exploration into personal growth and the art of perseverance.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

In the grand theater of life. We all seek a comeback, a resurgence, a rekindling of our inner fire. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience. This is not just another podcast. This is a journey, a venture into the heart of human spirit, the power of resilience and the art of reigniting our passions.

Speaker 2: 0:29

Welcome back to part two of our two-part interview with Chrissy Meyers. We've already heard her personal story in terms of navigating through adversities, of losing her spouse, going through the process of navigating a blended family, purchasing a business, turning that around and making sure that she continues to run her business like a family versus running her family like a business. We hope you enjoy Well, chrissy. I have to say the fact that Caleb is the one that probably calls the most house meetings or family meetings. It speaks volumes. At 12 years old, his emotional intelligence level is probably significantly higher than many adults For him to be aware of that. Being in that observant state to say things are spicy. He may not be able to put rhyme or reason to what's happening, but he can feel that there's something that's off and that the family may not truly be in alignment with those core values and the purpose. In that moment let's bring it in and make sure that we get back on the same page.

Speaker 3: 1:31

Yes, Natalie, you are so right and it's so helpful to have, I mean, Maddie and Kayla both. There are challenges around highly emotionally intelligent children, because there are times where they will school you. Oh yeah, I can imagine. But it's so valuable I think I would rather experience that, though, um yes, yes, absolutely, and there have been times where battle has been like mom, when you're talking about this, are you really coming at it from a framework of growth?

Speaker 1: 1:59

and I'm like oh, oh why are you throwing my own words back?

Speaker 2: 2:03

exactly, I'm like oh no, dang it, I've created a monster that's it and a genius all at the same time.

Speaker 1: 2:11

Yes, oh my gosh, it's going to be the ripple effect, because they're going to go out and start their families, they're going to do the same thing, and then it's going to be this huge movement of emotionally intelligent children across the us.

Speaker 2: 2:24

Well, I think. I think even with their friendship groups. I mean, you've got to think about how they show up with their friends and that circle, like there's probably a higher emotional intelligence level even within their close circle of friends, because being a part of Team Awesome Sauce, that's who they are and they carry it right out the door as well. The people that they're attracting into their lives get to experience that. You're exactly right. Oh, it's so beautiful.

Speaker 1: 2:50

I love it and I love that you put all of the pieces together, so that's huge, it's beautiful. Yeah, okay, so you've launched this book. Kind of tell us what that experience was like, because I know you said it was hard to show up and be vulnerable in this book. What was the process when you finished that book and you sent it off to be published? What was the feeling that you had from accomplishing that? Because how long did it take you to write it?

Speaker 3: 3:12

So it took about two years and then it took that last year kind of going through that copy editing process, because that editing can take. You say, there's writing the book and then there's editing the book, and again it took that transition point. So we finished and we were ready to go to publish and we published in November of last year and then had to do that whole launch campaign. So I did my launch campaign. I guess you don't really do a lot of launches in December and January. So, yeah, these are things that you learn Cause I mean, I'm in insurance and HR. This is like selling a book was totally new, yes, recording an audio book was totally new. So kind of working through some of those processes.

Speaker 3: 3:48

So we launched in January and one thing that I hadn't really done is, you know, there are people that knew me when I was married to Michael and there are some people that know my whole story, but there are very few people now, with it being 11 years past, because Michael passed in 2013, that understand the scope and the arc, and so it's that interesting space of you know people think they know you and then they go oh, I read your book, I didn't know this about you, and it's not that I don't hide my story. It's just there's certain things in certain times where you tell it and there's other times where you don't. But the thing that was really difficult for me and I am continuing to learn and get better at this is I have a problem asking for help Is anybody else.

Speaker 2: 4:33

I don't know what you're talking about Exactly Okay, good. You're speaking to two Virgos, so I don't even know if the word exists in our vocabulary.

Speaker 3: 4:40

Yes, so learning to ask people for help, and I mean and there's a chapter in the book about how I wasn't asking for help and I almost burnt my house down at Christmas, tried to barbecue my house.

Speaker 3: 4:48

So, yeah, it's a great read as to like how to be focused and be more mindful, but for me, asking for help around, hey, I launched this book.

Speaker 3: 4:57

I'd really like it if you would read it and you'd give me an Amazon review so I can continue to grow and kind of grow the space and sell more books.

Speaker 3: 5:04

But really, just so I can continue to have people that have said I've read it and it's worth reading, because I want other people to read it, not just about my story and what's going on with Team Awesome Sauce, but really also thinking about how can you build resiliency within your own staff, within your own teams, within the community, because when we build resilience in our employees, we create ripples and those ripples change the world because they take that resilience home to their families and they use it with their families and their families use it with their employees, like all sorts of things. It just goes everywhere. But asking for help coming back because again, see notice, I pivoted about even talking about what was hard, because I don't want to talk about it. Asking for help was something that was difficult for me was to say, hey, I wrote this book and I'd really like it if you'd buy the Kindle version and you'd give me an Amazon review.

Speaker 3: 5:46

And so I thought like I sent it out and I'm like no one is going to sign up to be on my newsletter list and it came back and there's like there's a hundred people on your newsletter list from day one, I was like, oh my gosh, and that's the learning for me in this process has been when you help other people significantly, it's okay to ask for help too, and that has been my learning of like. Occasionally, people do like to help you back, and actually they probably like to do it more than you think about it. So just ask for help. Chrissy, that's been my mantra over the last couple of months, even as I'm working on some of these other projects. Is you know how about you ask more people for help?

Speaker 2: 6:21

Oh my gosh. Well, if you're putting so much awesome into the world, it's only natural that you'll get awesome back right, like it's just natural. Yes, yeah, oh, my goodness, I love it. What was the biggest aha or takeaway from going through the process of writing the book? If it was, in actual, the writing of the book or the process of launching it, what was your biggest takeaway?

Speaker 3: 6:41

I think the biggest takeaway for me in writing, it was the realization of just the depth of where my life has gone, and it wasn't a like I've lived so much and I've done so many things, it was just like, wow, I forgot about that. I remember doing it but, like you know, as you're writing something, natalie, you kind of think about oh, this is what I was thinking about, this is what was happening. Like so many times we're running and getting everything done and our life happens in the margin. And so it was really that understanding of like wow, there's so many things that have happened that have been amazing and purposeful and it's nice to just revisit and see and also look back and go. I handled that. The next thing that I have to do tomorrow is that's nothing compared to what I dealt with.

Speaker 2: 7:26

Yeah, slam dunk, exactly.

Speaker 1: 7:28

Yes, as you were going through that process of writing, it sounds like things were coming back to you. So how did you do that? Did you go somewhere to write, like what was the process?

Speaker 3: 7:40

Yeah. So there were periods of time where I would kind of isolate for a couple of days and work on some things. I worked with a great book coach. She was amazing. Bonnie was my favorite person, in fact. There were times where we would sit and have a conversation and she'd be like Chrissy, that's not in your book. And I'm like, oh, it's not. She's like you didn't talk about how you worked on this board of director and you accomplished this and you did this transition with resiliency. You didn't talk about, like, the transition with your mom being difficult. Can you write about that in the book? And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I can. So that thought of you know, and I think it's a lot of times as women we forget some of the things that have impacted us, and I think sometimes we forget how powerful we really are and how accomplished we are, because we're always running the next thing.

Speaker 2: 8:23

Well, and now you have a book that kind of chronicled everything all in one spot. I think that's the bigger piece is when you have one piece that holds all of it together in one space. Yes, I agree, oh, my goodness. Well, looking at the professional side and the business and purchasing the business from your mom. So I've done a little bit of work with some small business owners that are looking at that generational change and that shift and you're absolutely correct, because you have multiple views and opinions on what the process should look like who's do what, when and for how long. There's always a conversation that carries on as well. What?

Speaker 3: 9:03

was that process like, and how was it in terms of the relationship between you and your mom? It was not easy, and there were moments in time where we probably absolutely hated each other, and so there were some things that we needed to do to make sure that we could transition well. So one thing that happened was my dad passed away. My mom and dad had worked together for over 30 years, and the secret that my mom would say to their successful marriage was separate bathrooms at home and separate jobs in the workplace, and so when I came into the organization, it was if you want a car, you'll work for us. If you want us to pay for college, you'll work for us. So I worked because I wanted all those things, and then, when I graduated, they said do you still want to work here?

Speaker 1: 9:39

And I was like no, I'm going to go work somewhere else, because you have given me every cruddy job on the planet.

Speaker 3: 9:45

I have called dead people. I have filled Christmas candy boxes all on the planet. I have called dead people. I have filled Christmas candy boxes all like 1200 of them. Like I've done all of these things. I don't like what this is. I want to do more work in finance and HR. It's really important to me. And so my dad was like, can you give me six months? I was like no, I will give you six weeks because I'm interviewing and I have an MBA and everybody's going to want me because I am brilliant.

Speaker 2: 10:05

That was, I mean, ego but you know Absolutely as a new graduate, absolutely that's exactly what we did. I knew everything, that's what we did and as a small business owner, I'm sure his thought process was well, shoot, now I get to put all that back on my plate and I didn't want that Exactly.

Speaker 3: 10:21

Exactly so. I gave him that six weeks, and in that six weeks.

Speaker 3: 10:24

He gave me everything I wanted in in a position, and I looked at where things were and said, you know, I think I can do this. And he was really great in that he would never tell me what to do. I would walk into his office and I would say, hey, I have an idea. I think I want to do this with our insurance marketing. I think I want to do this with our compliance. And he would either say, I think you need to do a little more research, which was no, go figure it out, it's not right or I'll defer to your expertise, which was go ahead and make it work. And so I think that that in itself empowered me to kind of continue to run the business, to grow things.

Speaker 3: 11:05

I did a seven figure acquisition by myself. He went to the first meeting and then was like you can do this, and so I continued to work through the organization. And then he had some health problems, and so, while he was dealing with those health problems, my mom stepped away to kind of take care of my dad and I was running the organization. Employees were asking me things. I was doing all of the work. I changed my title to CEO in 2016 without telling anyone he came in, he's like did you change your title?

Speaker 3: 11:31

I'm like yes, I did.

Speaker 2: 11:33

Because I've been acting as CEO.

Speaker 3: 11:37

So yes, no one will take me seriously because they keep saying director of corporate planning and they don't know what that is and I've got to sign contracts. And so he was just like, okay, whatever, whatever. So when he passed away in 16, my mom and I were really grieving and so I had, at that point in time, steve and I had just gotten married there was a lot going on and we're trying to figure out you know, how do we transition the family, business and grieve and I mean, again, deal with blended family. And so we started to get really contentious and it became this. I mean, it was almost like a street fight for a period of time. I went to Steve and said you know, I can't be here anymore, I don't want to work with her, I hate this. And he's like well, what do you want to do? You can do anything that you want.

Speaker 3: 12:19

At that point in time, I'd started working more in community service work, so I was really enjoying working with nonprofits. So I went to a career counselor who was a coach that helped me do career mapping, and so it was literally the like okay, chrissy, let's talk about all the different things that you really love in a job. And what was interesting was she came back and she said you know, we've done this assessment. Everything that you want in a position is in the position that you're in now. You can go find it somewhere else or you have to figure out if you have the stomach to stay.

Speaker 3: 12:53

And so at that point in time, there were two things that happened. One, my mom came back and said you know, I want to transition this business to you, but we're only going to do it if we go to therapy. Well, I had already been to therapy when Mike died. I did not like it. I went because I had to and I was ready to move on. So I went back to my coach and I said look, my mom says that we have to go to therapy. And I think this is dumb. And she's like well, if you get what you want because you go to therapy, wouldn't that be beneficial to you? And I was like. And then she said and the next thing too, it might be beneficial if you go yourself as well.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Oh yeah, Like thanks.

Speaker 3: 13:33

Kathy. So I was like wow. I was like what do you mean? Like, if you're going to be dealing with your mom and you're going to be going to therapy together, it might be beneficial for you to go as well.

Speaker 3: 13:40

And I credit her with a lot of the success that I've had, because moving in that direction, finding the person that I saw as a therapist, who I still see now enabled me to kind of grow, build skills, build that communication, the ability for me to vent in a session where I wasn't rehashing all of it to Steve constantly because he heard it a lot anyway, but, you know, giving it to someone else who could catch it, and then her giving me these skills, building interpersonal effectiveness, that dear man give fast that I talk about in the book.

Speaker 3: 14:10

Validating the individual, always checking the facts, making sure that you are giving in order to receive, was so important in my communication style. And then we were able to kind of navigate that transition of going to therapy, talking together, my mom and I negotiating some major transitions in the business, some major terms, and then being able to have a relationship after, because she was more concerned about it's really important that we have a relationship after the business. I just wanted her to leave because I'm like we'll be fine if you just leave.

Speaker 2: 14:42

But it was a part of the process. It had to be a part of the process.

Speaker 3: 14:47

Yes, yes, that has always been. My challenge is that I always want to get somewhere now. Yes, so having to be patient in that journey is something that I am continuing to relearn in different ways. So it's appreciated.

Speaker 2: 15:00

Absolutely. Oh my gosh, that's beautiful. Suggesting that you go to therapy when you're in the midst of everything is probably not something that you want to hear either.

Speaker 3: 15:09

Not at all. I'm like give me a book to read, give me a podcast to listen to, I'll be fine. Give me something, I'll be fine. Is there anything else I can do? I don't want to go to therapy. Can I go get a massage? Can I take a walk? Can?

Speaker 3: 15:18

I do and it wasn't just those, it was all the things I hadn't processed with losing Michael. I processed some of the things with my dad, processed the communication with my mom, but then also built those skills that have made me more resilient and more able to deal with challenges as a business leader, challenges as a mom, All of those things that you just you don't think about because you're in the midst of it, but when you have those extra skills, it's so important.

Speaker 1: 15:49

What would you say? Some of the most important skills you learned as far as being resilient were from the counselor.

Speaker 3: 15:57

So I would say the most important one that I use almost every day is that, dear man, get fast, that interpersonal effectiveness of being able to validate in communication. The second, which I would say is invaluable to my family, is really understanding mindfulness, because I am the type of person who can have six lists running in her head and will be onto the next 10 things while something amazing is happening in front of me and I'm not paying attention to it. So between my therapist and Steve who would constantly say, chrissy, can you be here? Can you be here? Because I would be there physically but my brain is somewhere else, and so that I would say, especially as a mom, that has been so important, because now I'm sitting in my daughter's play performance at school and I'm not worrying about what commission statement needs processed or what HR phone call needs returned or what issues going on in the oil and gas company, like I'm just there enjoying her be town scout in the in Robin Hood.

Speaker 2: 16:58

Yeah, oh, fabulous, how fun is that? Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 17:02

Yeah, I think we could all practice a little more mindfulness. Yeah, I mean, Natalie, you know, and I are the same way. I was like well, which of the 10 jobs am I doing right in this moment? Because, there's always stuff going on and so just being present it's hard for people to do.

Speaker 3: 17:18

Very hard Agreed.

Speaker 2: 17:20

But it responds to that whole poll dynamic that we often have like, especially for working moms. It's you know well, I need to be present for the business and I also need to be present for the family. When you're intentional, when I'm showing up for the business, I will be present, and they're 100%, and when I'm showing up for the family, I will also be there, present, 100%. You're going to have some overlap, obviously. Things pop up, life happens. But just being mindful in those instances, just on a daily basis, I mean that's an ongoing practice, like you said.

Speaker 3: 17:52

Oh, absolutely. And understanding that with mindfulness comes the creation of boundaries, and for someone who has a problem telling people no, that was something else that was really important in my learning, especially to as business leaders as we continue to ascend up the spiral to higher success, higher levels of dealing with more employees and more things being able to say I'm committed to this in my time. I'm not going to respond to this email right now. I'm not going to have this phone call until I'm ready. I think it's so important. I'm not going to say yes to the five committee positions that are calling me and all want like just an hour of my time, which is really five times five. So it's really important.

Speaker 2: 18:33

And potentially an ask for a commitment. Absolutely yes absolutely.

Speaker 3: 18:37

So, there was a period of time in my life where I would reward myself for saying no because I had to train. It was like in between, while I was dealing with the transition, with my mom and the business continuing to grow and some of the community work I was doing and again being in team awesome sauce. Like I was always saying yes and they're like we need your time. And so I was like, well, how do I say no? Because they want me, they want my expertise, they want this isn't just ego, this is important Like they keep saying they need me. So I think, especially as women, when you start learning how to say no, you got to reward yourself for that. So the first couple of times I said no to an event, no to a potential board seat or commitment, I got myself a massage.

Speaker 2: 19:16

I was just thinking that it's so amazing that you said that's what you did. I was just thinking that it's so amazing that you said that's what you did.

Speaker 3: 19:22

Yeah, like you said, no, you're getting a massage. Well, good job.

Speaker 1: 19:27

I feel like it allows us to show up as the best version of ourselves. We have those boundaries instead of being spread, Because I think at one point I was on like 11 committees and I was like the chair of like four of them and I was like yes what am I doing?

Speaker 1: 19:48

And it's like it was a badge of honor and I'm like no, because then I'm not showing up as the best version of myself to any of those, because I'm thinking about the next one that I have to go to, and so people would appreciate us to be the best version. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2: 19:57

Well, chrissy, looking at the timeline, I mean just starting with 2016, so not even going back to 2013, but 2016,. The passing of your dad, the transition of the business, I think 2018, affordable Care Act changes took place pandemic a couple of years after that. When you talk about reluctantly resilient, I mean it's really. You've had many of opportunities to practice that. Oh, absolutely, yes, oh, my goodness. So here we are 2024. Whenever you're listening, we're in 2024. But in 2024, what's on the horizon for you? What do you have planned?

Speaker 3: 20:34

so couple of things. So there's also the thought of you know, so much has happened between the writing of the book and kind of the things that we're dealing with now as a family. So talking about not just reluctant resilience but also being cautiously courageous, because once we learn how to be resilient, I think we also have to learn how to be more brave. And for someone who again grew up in the insurance industry but also grew up in a space where I was always afraid to take risks, sometimes afraid to say what I was thinking and use my voice in different places, I think that now on the horizon is kind of talking to other business leaders, other women in business, other moms with blended families about you know, how are we entrepreneurial families? But then how are we courageous and how do we show up?

Speaker 3: 21:19

Because our communities are changing, our world is changing, how we do business is changing, especially as we add in AI and all these other things. It's so important. How do we embrace things without being fearful? So how do we be brave, show up for our kids so they can see us being brave in these challenges and continue to build that resilience. But it's more than just being resilient, it's also about being courageous. So that's what's on the horizon for me continuing to take this company that's in receivership out of receivership, get it to a positive exit, growing AUI and clarity and really just talking about how wonderful it is to be part of Team Awesome Sauce.

Speaker 1: 21:54

I love that In the form of a book? In the form of a book, yeah, it's probably. I mean, you know, it took me three years the first time, ladies, so it could be a little while. That was your first time. Now you've done it, so it'll be faster.

Speaker 3: 22:05

That's what my husband said. He said could this one take you like a year and a half instead?

Speaker 1: 22:08

of three Sure, exactly Sure.

Speaker 2: 22:13

You're basically an expert, I mean that's it.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Give me a month and then I'll be done, sweetie, in 30 days. Yes, oh, I love that. Amazing, absolutely amazing. I'm going to order your book as soon as we are off this podcast.

Speaker 1: 22:27

As soon as we hop off. I need to figure out how to get it to you to sign it for us. Yes, I would love to stay in touch with you. I just your energy through this is just absolutely amazing and I just your message and what you're doing with your family and how it relates to business is absolutely amazing and I know that a lot of people this will probably be one of their favorite episodes for sure. I know it's going to be one Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 22:54

Well, thank you. Yeah, absolutely One thing that we always talk about. And, Chrissy, I have two daughters, so I've gone through the 16. You'll make it through. There's another side.

Speaker 3: 23:03

I have questions certain days where it's like really, yeah, you will, you will survive you will survive.

Speaker 1: 23:10

You get through the other side, I promise so it's like and my last one is 18, so like I'm almost there and you're both smiling and you look beautiful. So I I have faith.

Speaker 2: 23:21

Thank you, yeah you get to the other side. But the one thing that I always said, like with kids, it's like, why isn't there a playbook? This book sounds like a playbook. There are so many things that I sit and think, gosh, that would have been so beneficial for our household had we implemented just like a joint effort in terms of looking at value and the impact that we want to have on the world.

Speaker 2: 23:43

Right, I think, parenting when we step into parenting, we kind of take that charge of well, I want to just make sure that I raise a good human so that they can have a huge and significant impact in the world. But that all starts from a very young age. So we could have started having that conversation. I see this as a huge, huge tool for individuals to put in their toolkit, so Reluctantly Resilient. We will make sure to drop a link to purchase the book in the show notes so that you can take a look at that, and we'll also share that on all of our platforms. But, chrissy, this is fabulous. I'm so honored that you took the time out to visit with us today.

Speaker 3: 24:17

Thank you for your time, ladies. I really appreciate it. This has been wonderful and a gift to me, so I appreciate your time.

Speaker 1: 24:23

Oh my gosh, thank you. Amazing, it was amazing so good, absolutely Well.

Speaker 2: 24:27

We hope that you all enjoyed this episode. As I mentioned, I will drop Chrissy's contact information and information about the book Reluctantly Resilience in the show notes so you can have that and access it. And if you are wanting more from Reignite Resilience, head on over to our website, reigniteresiliencecom. Potentially look into joining our VIP community. But until next time, we'll see you all soon. Thanks, guys. Thank you for joining us on today's episode of Reignite Resilience. We hope that you had amazing ahas and takeaways. Remember to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like it and download the upcoming episodes, and if you know anyone in your life that is looking to continue to ignite their resilience, share it with them. We look forward to seeing you on our future episodes and until then, continue to reignite that fire within your hearts.