Where were you when the sky fell silent with the Challenger disaster, or when the tragic news of Princess Diana's passing swept across the globe? My co-host Natalie Davis and I, Pam, share our individual stories and the collective heartbeat of these moments that have left an indelible mark on our lives. We navigate the emotional landscapes carved out by such historical events, revealing how they've not only united us in shared experiences but also fortified our resilience. The memories, sometimes somber and always poignant, act as beacons, guiding us through lessons learned in the art of reaching out and cherishing time with those we love.
During our conversation, we also cast a thoughtful gaze towards the Columbine tragedy, feeling the echo of its shockwave in our hearts as parents and community members. We honor the educators whose courage and sacrifice stand as a testament to their unwavering commitment to our children's welfare. Join us as we pay tribute to these impactful instances of collective trauma, discussing how they've transformed our perspectives and the way we navigate our relationships with our children, our peers, and the ticking clock of life itself. Through this communal journey of reflection, we aim to foster a space for healing, understanding, and ultimately, hope.
Don't forget to listen and follow on your favorite streaming platform and on Facebook. Subscribe on Your Favorite Platform: https://reigniteresilience.buzzsprout.com Follow Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reigniteresilience
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Where were you when the sky fell silent with the Challenger disaster, or when the tragic news of Princess Diana's passing swept across the globe? My co-host Natalie Davis and I, Pam, share our individual stories and the collective heartbeat of these moments that have left an indelible mark on our lives. We navigate the emotional landscapes carved out by such historical events, revealing how they've not only united us in shared experiences but also fortified our resilience. The memories, sometimes somber and always poignant, act as beacons, guiding us through lessons learned in the art of reaching out and cherishing time with those we love.
During our conversation, we also cast a thoughtful gaze towards the Columbine tragedy, feeling the echo of its shockwave in our hearts as parents and community members. We honor the educators whose courage and sacrifice stand as a testament to their unwavering commitment to our children's welfare. Join us as we pay tribute to these impactful instances of collective trauma, discussing how they've transformed our perspectives and the way we navigate our relationships with our children, our peers, and the ticking clock of life itself. Through this communal journey of reflection, we aim to foster a space for healing, understanding, and ultimately, hope.
Don't forget to listen and follow on your favorite streaming platform and on Facebook. Subscribe on Your Favorite Platform: https://reigniteresilience.buzzsprout.com Follow Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reigniteresilience
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Speaker 1:
In the grand theater of life. We all seek a comeback, a resurgence, a rekindling of our inner fire. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience. This is not just another podcast. This is a journey, a venture into the heart of human spirit, the power of resilience and the art of reigniting our passions.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back to another episode of Reignite Resilience. I am your co-host, Natalie Davis. Hello Pam, how are you?
Speaker 1:
I am absolutely fabulous. I'm looking out my window in my office and my tree is in full bloom with white flowers on it. The sky is blue. It's going to be close to 80 today. This is my happy place.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh, I love it. I love it. I wish I had trees. I don't have trees, but the sky is blue here.
Speaker 1:
You will have trees when they grow, you will.
Speaker 2:
Eventually eventually, but I do enjoy looking out my window and seeing, you know, clear sky. I don't typically watch the weather. I only keep the weather app on my phone during the winter season, so now that we're officially in spring, I feel like it's. You know, it's like a game of roulette you never know what you're going to get, but at least you just hope it's not like two feet of snow again.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes and know again, yes, yes, and you know what? Let's be fair, let's be honest. They're not always accurate. So I would rather just not know and just be pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 2:
Agreed, agreed, and today's a lovely day. I love it. Yes, yes, I love it. Well, we are going to dive into a different area, kind of you know a lot of our focus and emphasis. When we talk about overcoming adversities and resiliency on this podcast, they're typically things that we have, the personal experiences that we have, yes, things that happen within our own circle, not that we control it, but just within our space and oftentimes directly to us. But today we're kind of venturing out because there are things that happen, that we experience, that we live through, that have an impact on how we show up, definitely has an impact on our mindset moving forward. In some cases has an impact on our physical well-being, depending on what it is. So, pam, tell us a little bit about where we're going today. Where are we taking our listeners?
Speaker 1:
Well, you know, this came up.
Speaker 1:
I was on a coaching call with one of my clients and we were talking about those phone calls to people, when they come to your mind and I shared a story about something that had happened to me when in my real estate career, and there was huge regret in me not calling somebody that came to my mind.
Speaker 1:
And so then I started to think about other things that have happened in my life that have had a significant impact, meaning that I can remember the day, the time where I was standing, and what the emotion was that I felt when this event happened, whether it was a personal event or a public event, something that impacted all of us, you know, sometimes just in the United States, but sometimes globally. And I just thought it was like you know what this might be an interesting topic to kind of just unpack a little bit, because, maybe because I hadn't thought about that event in a long time yes, and I was like why, why didn't I think about that? Because it was a significant thing. So I thought this might be just a good time to kind of, you know, go down maybe a walk through history and about some of the big, significant things that have happened in the world or in our country.
Speaker 2:
In our country. I think, yeah, there are so many more in the world. Yes, oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker 1:
And then some of the maybe things that have happened to us personally, that have been significant events that will forever change us.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, oh yeah, so that's, or even those subtleties, but we'll, yeah, let's dive in, I think. I think this is a great topic because we often say, like we, we mentioned major life events and if it's, you know, either within our own circle, within our own like little bubble of life, or just as we're experiencing it as a nation, when you think, well, do you remember where you were? In most cases, you often hear that I absolutely do, I absolutely do.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And so I started kind of just pulling my thoughts together and trying to think of some of like the oldest ones that I remember, and for me, probably the first one that I remember was that when the Challenger exploded, and that happened in 86. So I'm just going to throw myself under the bus I was 16. I was finishing up ninth grade and I remember, I mean, they brought we joked about it, but they wheeled the TV in on the cart in our classroom so that we could watch this significant event, because there was a school teacher on the shuttle and I just remember the moment that it exploded and just the feeling that kind of almost rippled throughout our school. You know the disbelief, the fear, the sadness, yeah, yeah. So do you remember where you were?
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, absolutely. I was not 16. I was not in high school, I was in elementary school, yeah, whatever, but the same thing. I was in elementary school and I absolutely remember it and I remember. I actually I can still envision the classroom. I remember I was in elementary school and I absolutely remember it and I remember I actually I can still envision the classroom. I remember where I was sitting.
Speaker 2:
We all gathered together and we were sitting on the floor in the classroom because we didn't have enough televisions for each classroom, so they kind of combined two or three classes together, which at that time was like we never did combined class things. So we knew something major was happening and they rolled the television in, plugged it in, got it all powered up and then we had this room filled with multiple teachers and all of these children. And you're right, like the thing that comes to mind for me is like that sense of community with your peers. Right, we were going through that, living through that in that moment collectively together and processing, like it's just kind of the sense of unity as a child, especially because I think about that now or any of the recent events that we experience, and I know that oftentimes the parents' first response and I'm saying that from an I statement because I'm one of those when we've had those instances, my first reaction is I'm going to get my kids and I pick them up and I bring them home because I want to have that in my own family nucleus.
Speaker 2:
But in 86, it was. You know we're going through this with basically strangers, but we had this sense of unity as we all watched. I mean it was, and the heartbreak and just the. For me I think it was more shock than anything else.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and being young kind of that, was probably like the first major thing that we went through. That was significant, that we witnessed. I mean, it's one thing to watch the news of something happen after it happens, but to watch it as it unfolds, there's a power there that that feeling is just almost overwhelming Exactly, yeah, exactly, yeah. All right, what is another one that you can think of that you remember as significant?
Speaker 2:
Gosh. Well, I think the one that pops up that I remember like because I was actually a functioning adult, was 9-11. And at that time, not only an adult, but I was a mom, right. So it puts things in a different perspective, like with the Challenger I'm young, it's all new, I don't understand, but I do know like what it feels like. 9-11 was another one for me, and I remember hearing about it because I was driving into the office.
Speaker 2:
At the time I was living in Dallas proper, oh my gosh, and the commute to work was a minimum of an hour, if not more, and I just dropped my daughter off at daycare and I had made my way into the office. I pulled into the parking lot, walked into the office and every television in the office was on, no one was at their desk and it was kind of this again, a numb feeling that I felt going into the space like everyone just confused, and so much anxiety and angst. And then you know, it's that that moment of why am I at the office? What's happening? Like, right, I need to, I need to go get my baby, I need to get home. But that was the thought for everyone in the entire city, and so the commute time to get home was ridiculous.
Speaker 2:
The commute time for me to get, I mean, it was this kind of like, this kind of space of chaos and you're, you're in this frenzy. And again that moment of I just want to be close to those that I love, and so that was so hard. And, yes, I loved my coworkers at the time and all of that was important. And so you go through those stages of again it's shock. And then you're starting to process, and then the light bulb of wait a minute, I don't want to sit in this break room with you watching TV. I'm done, I'm done. But then that pull like I've got this obligation to also finish working Right.
Speaker 1:
I have a job.
Speaker 2:
I have a job. I've got a job, yeah.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, I was living in Fort Collins, I had two, so my youngest wasn't born yet and yeah, I remember I was at work and when we first heard it was just like we heard it as it was unfolding. You know, somebody came in and said a small plane just crashed in like a and we thought it was like a single person plane accidentally crashed into a twin, one of the twin towers, yeah, and then it was another one and then it just started to unfold and the uncertainty and the fear and the overall eeriness of it, because then we just kept hearing about another plane crash, then the Pentagon, and then all flights were grounded and I still it just gave me goosebumps. I still remember this day, during that period of time, and I don't remember it was like a week where there were no planes flying.
Speaker 1:
Yes, and then I remember the first time I saw a plane and the fear that I felt like why is there a plane flying? And it scared me Absolutely. But it was such an eerie feeling and I actually was in the evening that night that it happened. I was teaching. It was when I was teaching Dale Carnegie, and so I still went because I needed to let people know that we were canceling and we didn't really have a way to get in touch with anybody To communicate that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah. So I was there meeting people outside telling them that we weren't, but it felt so weird to be away from my family. I wanted to be home and I don't know about you, but it was like this need to know more, Like I was glued to the TV and what was happening and how it was unfolding. I just wanted more information because it was so just. There was such uncertainty in that moment.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, absolutely Like. When you go through like what you? Because we talk about like this poll, like you still did the Dale Carnegie, I was still at work. I was at work for hours, you know after, and it's again it's like, oh my gosh, what am I doing right and not? I mean it's I don't know if I would go back and do it differently, but it's kind of like you had that pull of. I have this responsibility, but I also have this desire and this need. But as you talk about like this need for information, oh my gosh, I've like misinformation has been for many, many years. I remember the when they there was speculation that there or with the plane that was heading towards Dulles, and then, like wildfire, oh, it spread through the office that there is a plane heading to Dallas instead of Dulles, and so everyone like is in this frenzy and I'm like, oh, and I think that was the breaking point for me I was like I'm done, I've got to go.
Speaker 2:
But again misinformation just spreading like wildfire, but yeah, like just needing to know and watching everything transpire. And I think I mean we get that now today, kind of at 10X, which I don't know if it's necessary or helpful, but it's there, it's where we are, it's the moment of time that we're living in, but, yeah, that was a big one for me. That one will continue to.
Speaker 1:
I totally agree. Yeah, one other one that happened significantly earlier than 9-11, well, it wasn't that much earlier was when Princess Diana died. Oh, let me use it as presence. I just there was. I don't know what it was about her, it was, I think I was. Was I pregnant? Yeah, I was pregnant with Gwen and I just remember, I just followed her because I loved all of the humanitarian work that she did.
Speaker 1:
She was like you know how, when you're growing up as a girl, it was like I had Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, it was like we had all these Disney princesses, and so she was this real life princess, like bigger than life, and I watched her all the time.
Speaker 1:
And I just remember, when I found out she had been in the accident and I cried, and I cried for kids, yes, because I was like thinking about the fact that these two boys weren't going to have their mom and I just, in the media, you saw the relationship she had with her children yep, and I just this like sense of just loss, yeah, and I just remember in my kitchen crying and actually just praying that she was going to be okay, yep, and I didn't sleep that night and then waking up to hear that she had passed away and I was devastated. I went and bought every dang and I still have them all of the Time magazines, every magazine that came out. That was like about her life and, yeah, so that was. I don't know what it was about that, cause she's not in what didn't live in America. She really didn't have much to do with us, but that was a significant and that was in 97. Yeah, yeah, so before, before Gwen was born.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I have a family that lives in England and I I remember whenever they would come over to visit, we would always get something that was Princess Di. Something I mean, we had plates, cups, posters, those little wall. I'm not even going to say I don't even remember what they were called. My parents had them hanging on the wall Like she was everywhere in my house.
Speaker 2:
I just remember it, I still have, because I have my mom's China set. We still have, like there are pieces that have Princess Di on them as well. But I, but I brand new mom, like for me, and having like this infant, toddler, ish, child, you know, being a mom puts same thing like being in that chapter of my life and realizing like, oh my gosh, what if something happens to me? Right, because you don't think about that, I think about it. You don't think about, oh gosh, if something happens to me, what's that? Yeah, you don't think about that, don't think about it. You don't think about, oh gosh, if something happens to me, what's that? Anyways, that was a hard one and again it made me reevaluate Am I making the most of all of the moments that I have? Because, again, nothing is promised. But that was like a watching that all unfold. I felt like that was just a, that was like just it was surreal.
Speaker 1:
It was surreal yeah.
Speaker 2:
Right, it was just so surreal, that's it.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely yeah. The other one that was a significant one that happened just a couple of years after that, was the Columbine shooting, and I think that one hit me because my oldest was in and just the fear, because I remember watching it. I happened to be home because Gwen was little, I happened to be watching it unfold on TV and the SWAT team and the children running out, and just that fear of, oh my gosh, are my kids safe? And then just the devastation I felt for those parents not knowing and then finding out, and then the kids that were in the school, that survived it, that went through. That that was I just remember, and it was, oh my gosh, sarah McLachlan's song. I remember that song, like, was playing over and over again. It was Angel. I don't remember the name of the song though, but I just remember listening to that and just weeping and watching it unfold in my family room.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, that's close to home for us, right, like that's our backyard. That's a hard one, and I think that's probably one where the impression that it left has carried on for so long. Both of my girls have graduated from high school, but I do remember, like just if there was anything in form of a lockdown that happened for the kids and both of my girls unfortunately experienced that and getting that message from them like we're on lockdown, then you just wait, right, I feel like in those moments I just hold my breath and I just wait because you can't go and get them, you can't be with them, there's nothing that you can do, it's kind of out of your control. Until you get the okay, we're off lockdown, I can go home or I'm you know, you can come and get me, or whatever that is.
Speaker 2:
And those are hard, those are tough and we've continued to through those pieces and those are like little ones, right, those don't make the news. Typically they stay pretty isolated to you know whoever's enrolled and the parents that are there. But those are hard because my heart still stops, my breath still stops. I'm like, okay, what are we going to do?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I think it's that feeling of powerlessness, like there's nothing you can do, and that as a parent, no-transcript, racing to the elementary school, calling the you know other moms saying I'm going to get my kids, do you want me to grab your kids? And then I've got a car full of kids, yeah, racing them home in this panic, this desperate panic, yeah, and like everybody in the basement because we didn't know. Yeah, and it was just again that that's that fear and that powerlessness. And you know, and my heart goes out to the teachers that have to stay calm and be present for those kids when they probably have kids of their own and families of their own that they can't be there to protect. So to protect those out to all of those people.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely I have to say thank you to the teachers. I mean, that's I. Whenever I hear that someone's an educator, I'm like thank you. You guys are a whole different breed, like what you do. Even recently, circulating on social media there's with all of the earthquakes that we just experienced in California and on the other side, new Jersey, so on both coasts that we have.
Speaker 2:
But there's a video that's circulating of a teacher in a classroom and it's all caught on video that they're just going through their lesson and the earthquake starts and it's like, instinctively, all of the kids go under the desk, the teacher goes under the desk and the earthquake is lasting a long time, right, like in my mind it might've been like I don't know 45 seconds or something. And one of the students like screams out to the teacher like do we just stay here? And he's like just stay calm, everyone stay under your desk, it's going to be fine. But like that teacher has a family and individuals that they probably want to check on, but they go into this like protective mode of it's going to be OK, everyone stay in your place. And then moments later he's like is everyone OK? Everyone feel OK? And they're like yeah, but you can tell that they're all like shaken, not just like literally, but they're like figuratively shaken as well and so to be able to hold that space and again, kudos to the educators out there. We appreciate you.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, 100%. And then I think the last one and the most recent one was the pandemic, and I remember it was, you know, in March. It was the week leading up to spring break, and we get an email saying, hey, have the kids bring home all of their stuff, because spring break's going to last two weeks.
Speaker 2:
Two weeks. I remember it, oh my God. I remember it because we had many sleepovers at my house.
Speaker 1:
And then it was. You know, it was my. I moved my daughter and her fiance and their dog and their cat out of an apartment because their lease was about to be up and we were afraid that we were gonna be all sheltered in place and not be able to leave. So then I've got all of them living in my house. My desk because I'm working from home now is in my bedroom.
Speaker 1:
I've got a dog and two cats and it was like this crazy isolation, but this beautiful and thank goodness, I did have family, so I wasn't isolated. I did have a house full of people where we were able to play games and support each other and be there for but I know the significance of that and how many people didn't have that and felt completely isolated and alone. Yeah, and that was a global event, exactly yeah. If you think about all of these other events, none of them were global. They were the United States or they were the UK yeah, but this was one where the entire world, for the first time ever, was all going through a significant thing.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, together connected and yet we all felt so alone, a hundred percent. There was, I think, an increased level of loneliness across the world because there was so much uncertainty and fear. I'm just going to say, like there was so much uncertainty and fear, for the most part I would say the majority of the population lived in that space. I don't know if we really like paused to acknowledge like the amount of loss as well and this is something that actually has just popped up for me the last couple of weeks because it's a million people that we lost, like as a result of the pandemic and it's like that is a significant number.
Speaker 2:
And I remember, you know, as we started navigating through that I'm blessed we didn't have any direct loss within that impacted our family, but I had close friends that had family members that they lost and like services were delayed, they couldn't do the service because you know of the social distancing and all of that. So just being left to process through and mourn and not have closure or that sense of closure. There was just so much. I feel like there was just a whirlwind of emotions that people were experiencing, sometimes collectively and then sometimes like independently, but we didn't even know about it because we couldn't see people, right, you know what I mean. It's like there were pockets of like pain and there was so much that I feel like that was probably a hard one for me to really wrap my mind around in terms of how many layers it went in affecting people.
Speaker 1:
Agreed, and I don't know that we're even going to know the full extent, because I think about the kids that were in school during this time. I mean, my son was starting. He didn't get to finish his junior high and then he started high school and did not go to school the first year of high school. Yeah, I look at his class because they're all graduating this year. It's not what it was.
Speaker 2:
We hope that you have enjoyed part one of our two-part discussion about major life events and how they impact our outlook on life, as well as our resiliency. There are oftentimes things that we experience that we may not, in that moment, realize the ongoing effect and impact that it will have on our future decision making, how we're showing up in the world. Make sure that you come back and join us, pam and I. We're going to dive back into part two of this discussion and explore some of our own personal experiences that we've had in life that continue to impact us, even today. We'll see you soon. Thank you for joining us on today's episode of Reignite Resilience. We hope that you had amazing ahas and takeaways. Remember to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like it and download the upcoming episodes, and if you know anyone in your life that is looking to continue to ignite their resilience, share it with them. We look forward to seeing you on our future episodes and, until then, continue to reignite that fire within your hearts.