Transforming Feedback into Growth + Resiliency with Yolanda Greer (part 2)

How does feedback transform from uncomfortable critique to a powerful tool for growth? Yolanda Greer, founder of Elevate You Consulting, shares her transformative journey from school principal to leadership consultant, revealing how feedback can be the sandpaper that refines our personal and professional edges. Discover the pivotal role of mindset in tackling life's challenges and learn how a 360-degree feedback tool can help align how we see ourselves with how others perceive us. Yolanda emphasizes the importance of treating everyone with dignity and respect, a principle that transcends leadership and enriches everyday interactions, even in parenting.

Beyond leadership, this episode uncovers the profound impact of small gestures and meaningful connections in discovering purpose. Listen to heartfelt stories about nurturing children's passions and the powerful role of community support in caregiving. We explore the emotional balance required in personal and professional spheres, emphasizing the significance of supportive networks during challenging times. Reflect with us on the insights gained from Nadine Cornish's "Tears in my Gumbo Soup" and our own Leadership Elevation Workshop, designed to enhance leadership capabilities through shared wisdom and personal growth. Whether you're a leader, parent, or caregiver, this episode promises insights to help you navigate life's challenges with resilience and purpose.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. Resilience where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Speaker 2 0:41

Welcome back to part two of our two part interview with Yolanda Greer. We are so excited to dive right back in to hear more about her tools, techniques and modalities that she uses to inspire and encourage other individuals to achieve their goals, and we're going to really listen in to hear from Yolanda on why we're showing up the way that we do when we're striving for those additional goals in life. We hope you enjoy.

Speaker 3 1:07

Feedback can be good, right, like all rosy, but also it's like sandpaper. There are some prickly comments in there, right, oh yeah, it didn't all feel warm and cozy, but I saw it as sandpaper to help refine me right, to smooth out the rough edges, to make me better. Love that. And so there are sandpaper people in our life, sandpaper dynamics, circumstances, and it goes back to I think you named it in the beginning, pam. It goes back to that mindset. And so do I choose to be offended and become a victim, like Natalie was saying earlier? So do I choose to be offended and become a victim, like Natalie was saying earlier, or do I choose to say, oh, how can I use this to be more victorious, to overcome whatever the situation is presenting to me? And so it's all about perspective.

Speaker 4 1:55

Yeah, well, and the leaders saw that. Obviously, the senior leaders saw that and they wanted to invest in you. That's why they got you an executive coach. I mean, like you said, what a gift for them to pour into you, knowing that they had something here with you. Incredible. Yeah, so thankful, so thankful. Yeah, so all right. So talk to us about what you're doing now, because I love the work you're doing right now. It's incredible.

Speaker 3 2:20

Yeah, I love it as well. So when I moved from being a principal moved into leadership development and it was just a joy right Working with aspiring school leaders and then brand new school leaders, so it's just really a lot of fun and I just love watching that transformation. Past year, due to another set of circumstances, which we'll save for another day, but I decided to go full-time with my business, so I left my 30 years of salaried position and para been a bright retirement and all those things.

Speaker 2 2:56

To become an entrepreneur.

Speaker 3 3:00

And so here we are this year like a solopreneur. And so here we are this year like a solopreneur, we're making games. And so here I am with Elevate you Consulting, which this month is actually seven years old, but this year full time with it. And so, as you mentioned, I love helping leaders who feel stuck. They want to have that next level impact or they are experiencing imposter syndrome. And the tool that I use what tool is it? It's the same tool that I was gifted with as my first year in school leadership and what that tool does, right, that 360 is.

Speaker 3 3:37

It really helps you to see not just how you perceive yourself, but how other people are actually experiencing you, and then we can look at how you see yourself, how others see you. We might have to do some gap filling, because some people think pretty highly of themselves, more so than their observers, right? And other people may not feel or see themselves as strongly as others are experiencing them. And so we talk about okay, let's look at these gaps and how to address that and what's the action plan that we need to create so that we kind of level that out, so we're all having the same experience here, but then also how you can leverage the strengths to ensure that you're demonstrating across all of these exemplary practices and behaviors to be the most effective leader that you can possibly be.

Speaker 3 4:31

And in that, one of the behaviors that I love out of that is that you treat people with dignity and respect. Right, because I think about my one leader, not so much an example, but my second leader was an exemplary leader, right. So that's why I said one day there may be a book, a tale of two leaders, but anyway. So, when I think about just treating people with dignity and respect, if you're starting from that behavior, like starting from that behavior all the other behaviors, we can just pull them up. You can leverage that to make sure you're demonstrating across all of them, and then your show up will create the type of ripple effect that you want.

Speaker 4 5:12

Yeah, beautiful, beautiful.

Speaker 2 5:13

I think it's so important for us to focus on dignity and respect and really dive deeper into how much that can resonate to any conversation or encounter that you have with other individuals, because if you're so focused on upholding dignity and respect in terms of feedback or engagement or interaction with an individual, there's not much room for ego and self to have a place at the table as well, right? Because you're so focused on the other individual, how can I show up in the best way that honors and respects this person, to the best of my ability to bring out the best in them? There's nothing about yourself in that, and I think that's a huge opportunity for all of us as we're entering into everyday conversation. This is not just 360 evaluation philosophy that we need to uphold. This is like an everyday conversations that we have day in and day out.

Speaker 4 6:11

Yeah, yeah not just leadership, it's everything.

Speaker 2 6:15

As a parent, just as a human.

Speaker 2 6:17

Yeah, gosh, as a parent like, yeah, that's, I feel like that's the 2020 hindsight, right. Like, as we do all of this work, I go back and I think, gosh, well, you know, we have these little humans that we're bringing up in our homes, but we take ownership of that parent role and I like to equate it to that cape. Right, we put on our superhero parent cape and it is we're the parent in this situation and we show up for every conversation there and we show up for every conversation there. But, again, if we brought that discussion and the discussion and dialogue back with dignity and respect for the little human that's in front of us, whatever the age, fill in the age with whatever you'd like how much would that conversation and relationship shift if we just entered it from that perspective? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3 7:01

Absolutely, and I'll tell you the biggest gift. My husband and I taught a parenting with purpose class for years some time ago, and I'll tell you just to kind of maybe bring this full circle, is that the best gift that we can give. So, when I can help them understand their identity and their purpose, and then what practices, beliefs, philosophies coincide with that, to help you to realize it right, if I can do that, and then making sure that you are in service to others, yes, yeah, because when I think about other people, I don't have time to be a victim. I don't have time to, you know, woe is me, or sin in my pity part, you know, whatever the things. I really don't even have time to have.

Discovering Purpose Through Personal Stories

Speaker 3 7:53

Imposter syndrome, exactly yeah, because I'm so focused on you and what it is that I'm, how am I supposed to be showing up in service to you to make your life better? And it could be as simple as a hello in the grocery store at the clerk who is clearly having a really bad day. Something is going on. Didn't even greet me, no eye contact or whatever. Something's going on, but I will just pause. Hello, how are you doing today? You know something going on, but I will just pause. Hello, how are you doing today?

Speaker 3 8:23

You know something, even just that, right, I'm being focused on that person that takes the attention off of whatever it is I'm going through, because you don't know if they were just diagnosed with cancer Exactly, you don't know if they just lost. In fact, the call before this, the person told me that their best friend lost their husband in the floods in Florida. Wow, right, and so that was the energy that I was experiencing. I could have been put off or like offended, or no. I'm just, hey, what's happening? Right, like lean in. So when we take time to pause and check in, right, and even to learn about somebody's purpose, like you know what's my favorite question what's your impact in the world? I mean, yeah, it's great to know what you do, but like, what's your impact? Because for me that's like an entry to is there something that I can do to be in service to you, to help you fulfill your impact at the maximum level that you want to fulfill it?

Speaker 2 9:18

Yeah, I would much rather receive that question than what do you like to do for fun? That's a harder question for me to answer. What is your impact in the world? I'm all over that, right, but that's where we have done a lot of our work and that's where we focus on getting crystal clear on that piece of it. We're having such a good time doing it. Sometimes we forget to fill that other segment of our bucket. What do you do for fun? Absolutely.

Speaker 4 9:43

Could you share with us the parenting with purpose? I love that, and you talked about helping kids realize what their purpose is. How do you do that? I mean, yeah, I'd love to know some of the tricks or if you have any words of wisdom on how people can do that, because we may have listeners that don't know what their purpose is, let alone trying to help their kids figure out their purpose.

Speaker 3 10:07

Yes, oh, I love that you've captured that, Pam, thank you, because that's what I'm all about, right, is helping people to identify their purpose, to increase their impact for life fulfillment, yeah, right. And so when I think about for my kiddos, they're all young adults now, paying attention, like leaning in, watching, observing. What are they drawn to? Who are they drawn to when they are in different situations? How are they responding? Right? Is it life giving or is it energy draining? Do they lean in? Do they push out? Are they like, hey, can we go home now, paying attention to how they are experiencing the world and the conditions that they are within, to really think about what's in this? What is it that gives them energy? When are they most joyful and and most talkative?

Speaker 3 11:56

They want to share with the parents, right, because that's hard. Like they want to share mom, dad. This is what happened today, right, and this is who I was with, and this is what happened as a result of when I did this and really becoming attuned to your kids in a way that a lot of times, the noise and the busyness of life pulls us away from that. Being able to do that and so, as much as you can consciously participate and be present with them, right and so, really quick, just to give you an example, I don't have all the tips and tricks, but what we'll say you know. I'll now use my middle kid as an example, and they love when I talk about them, so here we go, you're welcome.

Speaker 3 12:44

I did stop posting about them, but I think he won't mind. In kindergarten, so my last teaching position beautiful, blessing all four of us, my three kids and I. We went to the same building. I was a middle school Spanish teacher. They had child care for teachers. So my baby, who was two, he got to go to the daycare and the older two were in school. Beautiful thing, first day of his kindergarten year. I look out and I have my classroom happened to be second floor. I could see the playground. Kindergarten year. I look out and I have my classroom happened to be second floor. I could see the playground. I look out and my child is helping the classmate who's on crutches with the cast on his leg. I was like how cool is that? Right, like he's not playing, he's sitting with this young man. They are still dear friends to this day, 24 years old, but he had such a heart for him.

Speaker 3 13:35

Fast forward elementary school. He wants to be one of the mentors for the Special Olympics. Okay, yeah. So helping the students who are a part of that. Fast forward high school same type of thing, always drawn to the students that most people would ignore, overlook bully, all of those things always drawn to them, college, same thing, and I could name different kids through all of those grades because that's how passionate he was. He would come home and talk about it. So I knew and sensed he's going to be an educator. But when he went to college he goes oh, I want to do business and I want to be an actor and I'm like, and I'm just like okay, right, it's their choice, they get to go on their journey. We're not those parents who are like you have to do it, you know this way and what have you?

Speaker 2 14:23

Okay, and I want to say about six months into that freshman year in college. He's like I changed my degree to be a special education teacher and I was like, yeah, I'm surprised.

Speaker 3 14:48

You know. But it is a beautiful thing. And you know, I could tell a similar story about our oldest because she caregived, and my mom and my mother-in-law because we took care of them. So we had three teenagers and we're caregiving both of our moms and for a time both of them lived with us right into their transitions, and so her care of elders was so evident, her heart and patience, oh my goodness, Her patience and willingness to go learn and research how to best take care of them. You know, and she is a future nurse- Love it.

Speaker 3 15:18

So it was again just like cultivating what we were observing and experiencing along the way.

Speaker 4 15:25

Yeah, so for our listeners, it's about being present and noticing what lights them up. And if you're looking for your own purpose, the same thing being present and noticing what are the things that, when you do it, it doesn't feel like it's work. You absolutely love it, it lights you up, it gets you excited, and if it doesn't, then that's probably not your purpose.

Speaker 3 15:46

Absolutely yeah, when I'm educating. My personal mantra is educate, equip and empower others for life. Yeah, when I'm doing those things, it is literally oxygen to my lungs. When I'm doing those things, it is literally oxygen to my lungs. Now, if you ask me to go create some social media post or balance a checkbook or you know, do an hour's worth of bookkeeping.

Speaker 2 16:08

Somebody else can do that.

Speaker 3 16:10

No, thank you. And the cape has come off. To Natalie's point. I'm like, let me get help. Right, there's a village, let me yes.

Speaker 4 16:22

There is someone who absolutely loves that and thrives off of that, and who am I to keep?

Speaker 3 16:27

that from them. Oh exactly, selfish, selfish. Oh my gosh, I love it.

Speaker 4 16:30

Yes, that's right, that's right and I also love that through our entire conversation, you've always had a village, and I think that when we originally created this podcast, it was to create a village for people that have gone through adversity that maybe don't have others, so that they could come, get on here, hear people's stories and either get inspiration or feel like they're part of something, and so I think it's such a powerful message for people to hear that you didn't do this alone. There were people either placed intentionally in your life or that were you surrounded yourself with, that helped you on this journey, to get you to where you are today.

Speaker 3 17:12

A hundred percent. A hundred percent, pam, and I'll tell you. I alluded to my mom and mother in love, and I just want to say that was one of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching seasons of our life. Right, my mom and I were two peas in the pod, so really, really hard, and I was a principal at the same time. Over 1100 students, 120 staff, wow, and they lived here and we had three teenagers, right, like all of the, and I'm married, right, all the things. But here's what I'll tell you about that.

Speaker 3 17:44

As far as village is concerned, I reached out, I started asking questions when is the village of caregivers? I've never done this before. My family's never done this before. We need help and you know there was a retired principal who would come into my building to help and she handed me a book. Again, this goes back to the impact of your show up. Yeah, she didn't know what was happening, but she saw and she leaned in and she asked a question and I told her what was happening and she handed me a book Tears in my Gumbo Soup by Nadine Cornish, who I don't mind, you know, putting that out there because people need resources and caregivers. The resources are not so readily available, as they should be. But Tears in my Gumbo Soup changed my life and I have since met the author and are connected and she's local here, and so I read her book and put into practice things that she was saying.

Speaker 3 18:40

And it was like the more I allowed myself to be open, right for the village to grow, the more it came. It wasn't like work and I ended up on a Facebook AARP right, I'm not AARP qualified, but AARP like it was a caregiver group right, it was the best thing ever. Because here's strangers globally sharing their most horrific experiences and stories. And they might say I just need a vent, please, no advice. Or they might say does anyone know of a resource for X, y or Z? Or they might say, please pray for me.

Speaker 3 19:18

And no one felt alone. And you would see people's messages like oh my gosh, thank you for this group. I don't feel alone anymore. I've never met any of those people in that group, but I still check in periodically just to put a word of encouragement. I don't need the group currently anymore, but the group was so life-filling and supported me, carried me through the darkest season of my life, so I feel an obligation to continue to contribute there and to share resources, right and so if any of your audience like if they're interested I just want to put this out. This just came to mind. I actually started creating. I have a little one pager of resources. It may or may not work for them, but if they want it, I'm happy to share that with folks, and several people I've shared it with have really appreciated what's on there. So there's books and videos and different types of support groups and things.

Speaker 4 20:10

So I think our audience would absolutely love that. It's that sandwich generation that I know I'm going to be entering into here before too long and I know a lot of our friends are going to go through it as well and have been going through it, so yeah beautiful, beautiful and I love mother in love. I love that when you first said, I was like, did I hear that right? And then you said it again I'm like I heard that right.

Speaker 2 20:40

I have not heard that before and I absolutely adore that. Mother in love Beautiful.

Speaker 4 20:44

Because it's a choice again Absolutely Right, it's not the obligation. The law is my obligation. You're legally obligated.

Speaker 2 20:48

Yeah, yeah, and this is. I choose this, I choose this relationship over and over again. So, yeah, it's beautiful.

Speaker 4 21:02

Yeah, all right, yolanda, you have something coming up, and unfortunately this won't come out before that, but I know you're going to have future events. So would you tell our listeners about what it is you have coming up and then how they can reach out to you if they want to bring you in to speak about this or do a workshop for them, because I love what you're doing and I'm actually going to try to attend it.

Speaker 3 21:21

So Yay, thank you. Okay, well, so it's the leadership elevation workshop. So it's a full day where we will dive into the very things I've been talking about leadership identity, purpose and practices. And this is not a sit and get. This is a sit and do. We'll get up and we'll interact. It's also not Yolanda as the expert spoon feeding you information. This is we will pull from the brilliance in the room, right, the collective genius in the room. We're going to pull from each other so that we walk away with some tangible items that we can apply in our context the very next day. So I would love for if people are interested, certainly can shoot me an email. You can find me on LinkedIn it's probably the easiest at Yolanda R Greer and then, if you're watching, my hi hello contact is right there where you can reach me. But, yeah, I would love to be able to support you so as a leader in your leadership team if you are interested in that type of leadership development. Because, again, it was the most transformational experience for me was going through that process.

Speaker 3 22:29

I actually teach a class at the state level for Colorado Association of School Executives for Aspiring Leaders, just on leadership identity and their philosophy. Just on that part. Right, because when we know who we are as a leader, why we're showing up again, we're not shaken right, there's resolve and there's peace in that, yes, and we can stay the course and reach the goals. And then to go on to those exemplary leadership practices, to know them right, like I love giving people the code, if you will, to effective leadership, like someone gifted me, because when we have the code, we have a name for things, then we know how to show up in a way that we really intend, because I believe that most times ineffective leaders it's just that they don't know, they're trying to figure it out and sometimes it comes out in a way that they probably don't intend. I will give the benefit of the doubt, but when we have that information right, there's great. What's the saying? There's great power in knowledge. I think something like that. And so when we know Maya Angelou, she definitely said right, when we know better, we do better, we do better.

Speaker 3 23:39

I want to help people to know better. Yeah, so be, it's personal, I do personal development. I have a transformational life coaching protocol that I use and, oh, watching the aha moments halfway through that program for individuals and what some folks are already doing Several of my clients this year as a result of that. Experience with me is so exciting. But, the leaders, I just implore you to pause and invest in yourself first and foremost, and then into the other folks in your organization, because it will improve culture, it will improve employee retention, it will improve employee engagement. People will want to come to work right. They will perform at higher levels when you're showing up in the very best way possible. And what I love about the protocol I use, there's 30 years of empirical research on these practices. Yeah, over 5 million participants have taken it. Yeah, so it's not just like something that came out yesterday. It's choice or just simply theory.

Speaker 3 24:44

Yeah, not just theory, not just theory it works Beautiful, and so I would love to be able to share and enhance other people's leadership, because I know leaders. They bring a lot to the table. We all do. We come with so much already. I just want to come alongside you to enhance. Right, I'm not here to fix, I'm here just to polish, to help you shine brighter and stronger for those you serve.

Speaker 4 25:07

Beautiful, beautiful. Well, we'll make sure that we put all of the ways for people to contact you in our show notes so that they can reach out to you directly. This has been incredible. I know I have a ton of takeaways and so grateful that you had the courage to do this with us. I know at first you're like what and I'm like. You told me your story.

Speaker 2 25:27

I'm like uh, yeah, you have so much to share, I'm glad that you took the time out to share it. Thank you.

Speaker 3 25:34

Yeah, thank you again for having me and for this platform to support other people. This is to educate and help others, so thank you Absolutely.

Speaker 2 25:43

Oh, my goodness. Well, thank you, yolanda. We are so grateful for our leaders and our aspiring leaders. We will make sure that we put Yolanda's contact information in the show notes, as well as the Elevate you consulting information in the show notes, so well as the Elevate you consulting information in the show notes, so you can reach out, learn more about what Yolanda has going on, connect with her directly. And if you are looking for more information about what's happening in the world of Reignite Resilience, head on over to reigniteresiliencecom, where you can download a free copy of our free ebook Unbreakable, and also subscribe to our weekly think letter, and you can always follow us on Instagram and Facebook to learn more about what's going on. But until next time, we will see you all soon. Thanks everyone.

Speaker 1 26:25

Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion, please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.