Finding Your Ikigai + Resiliency with Jessica Glaeser (part 1)

Ever wonder what happens when your life's passion, skills, financial needs, and the world's demands perfectly intersect? Jessica knows firsthand. After journeying from personal assistant to billionaires, to English teacher in Korea, to school counselor and therapist, she finally discovered her "ikigai" – the Japanese concept for purpose – in the most unexpected place: mortgage lending.

What makes Jessica's story so compelling isn't just her career pivot. It's how she transformed her own struggles into strengths. After experiencing the stress and confusion of buying her own home, she committed to creating a "low-stress" approach to mortgages that draws directly from her therapy background. Instead of hiding her expertise, she leverages it to create calm within an inherently anxious process.

When a car accident left Jessica with a concussion and lingering cognitive challenges, she faced her biggest resilience test. Rather than hiding her vulnerability, she assembled what she calls her "executive board" of mentors and supporters. Through neuropsychological testing and innovative treatments like rapid resolution therapy (a form of hypnotherapy), she found ways to heal while continuing to excel professionally.

Jessica's practical wisdom about managing anxious thoughts offers tools for everyone. She describes how mindfully observing our thoughts can help identify unhealthy patterns and create new neural pathways. By approaching our challenges with compassion rather than judgment, we can transform our relationship with stress.

The most powerful takeaway? We don't have to suffer alone. Whether you're seeking career fulfillment, managing anxiety, or recovering from trauma, Jessica's journey reminds us that combining self-awareness, appropriate support, and purposeful work creates the foundation for true resilience. Listen now to discover how to protect your peace while pursuing your purpose.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. Resilience where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Speaker 2 0:41

Welcome back to another episode of reignite resilience Resilience. I am your co-host, natalie Davis, and I'm so excited to be back with all of you, and joining us, of course, is the co-host, pam Cass.

Speaker 3 0:54

How are you, Pam? I am fabulous. The sun is shining. It's going to be in the 70s next week. I am very happy.

Speaker 2 1:02

Yes, Well at the time of this recording we are joining all from Colorado. I think you all should know that by now, but if you don't, we're joining you from Colorado and we're in the season that we like to call false spring. But my daughter has now lovingly coined both spring and fall as intermission seasons, and so I like that intermission Intermission. Yes.

Speaker 2 1:25

So shout out to Liz for that. I was like you know what you're exactly right like. I will take a winter winter or give me a hard summer. I will do a summer summer the in-betweens. But mother nature, it's fine. We'll take it today we'll take it.

Speaker 3 1:37

We're not saying anything bad about you. Mother nature, don't exactly. Don't throw a snowstorm at us. Keep exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 1:43

Yes, and I uh, I was actually on the road this week and unfortunately I brought Exactly Don't throw a snowstorm at us Exactly, exactly, yes, and I was actually on the road this week and unfortunately I brought, like the Colorado cold wind intermission spring with me everywhere I went and I just had to apologize to people. I was like I'm sorry, I didn't know that I had that ability to bring it with me. But here we are Enjoy what we're enjoying in Colorado.

Speaker 3 2:04

Very, very powerful.

Speaker 2 2:04

Let's just put it that way, exactly, right, yes, yes. Well, we have a special guest joining us today, and I am so excited one for her to share her story with our listeners and to hear some tips for us in terms of healing. So we're going to dive into that. Pam, why don't you tell our listeners who's joining us today?

Jessica's Path from Therapy to Mortgages

Speaker 3 2:23

So excited to have with us today Jessica. She has quickly become the top mortgage loan officer in one of the most challenging periods of mortgage lending. She started when rates were in the fours and has closed loans now in the eights. During this time, she has consistently provided education and five-star service to her clients. Before mortgages, Jessica was a licensed mental health therapist and served in our public school system. Her low-stress, just home loan process integrates mortgages and her deep commitment to having a positive impact. That is amazing. I'm so grateful that you are here. Thank you so much for joining us and can't wait to hear your story.

Speaker 4 3:08

Yeah, thank you so much. That was a really warm welcome. I will say thanks for putting that together. I'm so glad to be here. It means a lot. I have the most respect for both of you. I look up to you so much, so I'm here to help however I can.

Speaker 3 3:24

I love it. I love it. Well, tell us kind of your journey, because you went from the mental health school districts to loans. Kind of fill in how was that transition? What led you to where you are today?

Speaker 4 3:35

That's a really great question. I get that question a lot. So here's the story right For once and for all record it. So I'm going to go back to being a personal assistant. Actually, I used to be a personal assistant to CEOs here in Denver area. They're billionaires. I was right, the right hand man, right hand woman, right. So I was there serving and helping them.

Speaker 4 4:00

At one point I realized I was like you know what? What I kind of want to travel, see the world and see what else is out there. So I finished up my bachelor's degree in psychology and I got a position to teach English in Korea and I was that kind of like set me into this whole new world. I was able to travel for the first time, really see, see the world. And it was me on my own. I didn't know anyone over there, so I didn't know Korean, I didn't know anything and it was really great that I was able to teach English.

Speaker 4 4:35

While I was there I started a volunteer community and the volunteer community went into battered women's shelters, we went into orphanages, we taught English for free at immigrant schools, we did toiletry drives and Christmases for orphanages and stuff. It was so much fun. It kind of like lit my heart up towards community service and giving back to people and also just made me realize that I do have something to give and I have skills that are needed to help others. And I came back to the United States I was like I'm going to work in the nonprofit world. And I started to apply and they're like you don't have any real nonprofit experience, like you're a personal assistant, and I was like, wait, I just did this in Korea, like I did it. So I went back to personal assisting because I couldn't get a nonprofit job and I kept my eye open and I found school counseling. School counseling, basically, you can change the world. Like you have the ability to help students. You have the ability to help the teachers, the community, the parents, everybody. And it kind of radiates out and I was like this is it, this is the way I'm going to give back to our community and make an impact. So I got in there and I really did love working with the kids. I thought it was amazing. I worked for five years. Three years was at a credit recovery school and then I was promoted to the district and I just kind of noticed that the system unfortunately isn't really a good fit for me. Like I want dynamic change on a regular basis, and it really just isn't that kind of a system. So, unfortunately. So, in my master's program to get my school counseling, I also did receive training to become a therapist and I was able to open up my private practice. So I transitioned into full time therapy and had a full caseload of private practice clients specializing in career counseling and also anxiety, generalized anxiety, and I received an additional certificate in neuropsychologically informed cognitive behavioral therapy in addition to my training, the psychology degree, the master's in counseling and then this. So I really did enjoy that work as well.

Speaker 4 6:56

So much, and I also found it to be a struggle to provide for myself financially, unfortunately, like there's just so many parts about that business that are really hard. It's highly, highly, highly regulated, even more than mortgages, which is incredibly hard to imagine. But basically you can't help your friends or family. You have to. There's a certain way that you can collect money and get paid. People can cancel within 24 hours, and then there's only so much I can actually book, like I could only really book five people because your energy level is too much, and then when people get better, they always leave. You know, and as one person I one therapist I was trying to market and get new clients and you know every single client, when they get better, they're on their way out and then I need to find another client. It was just not really adding up and I was turning 40 years old. So I thought, you know what I've got to do, something Like financially, I've got to take care of myself, and I don't know what it is.

Speaker 4 8:01

I was keeping my eyes open. My boyfriend at the time, who's living with me. He started a mortgage brokerage on his own and I was helping him. I was like, oh, I'll help you recruit, that's just me. I'm like I'll just oh, who are you looking for, you know? And I was like, wait, what do they do? What's their job? He's telling me and I was like I can do all those things and I would love doing all those things. Like, oh, you do events.

Speaker 4 8:25

Oh, you call people, you help people buy a home, like a house, like for me when I bought my house, it was this big, pivotal change in my life, such an important change from the background that I've had where we lived in. I don't know 20 different houses that I've had where we lived in I don't know 20 different houses. So to now having this incredible housing stability, freedom to paint the walls, freedom to have dogs in my house or not like, freedom to have roommates or not Like it just it's such an important thing that I literally I couldn't do any other lending really does have to be homes like, because I really do feel that passionate again towards like how it can shift someone's life. So I was like oh my gosh, I've got to do this. So I took the test and I got all the training. I took additional training that nobody really needed, you don't really have to do. I studied for an additional four months after getting my license and didn't talk to clients during that time and that's how I established myself in this business. So this is my Iggy guy. Sorry, I've been talking a lot, but this is my Iggy guy Like and if you haven't looked at this up like, it's an incredible piece that when I saw it I was like this is it Like all the other things I've done, there's been something that was missing.

Speaker 4 9:47

It's helping people, it's serving clients. Yes, it hits the box there, but there's a little bit that was just kind of a little scratchy. That wasn't really a good fit. This is it. Like this is what the world needs from me. I'm very passionate about it. This is what uses my skill it. This is it uses my skillset. This provides financially for me. This excites me. Like this is something that, like, I wake up every day and I'm excited to like who needs my help? Who do I need to help? Talk about mortgages? How can I educate them? You know so, mortgages even sounds like such a bad. I don't even like the word mortgages, but like home loans more. But anyway, this is my Iggy guy.

Speaker 2 10:25

I love that. I love that. And just for our listeners that are not familiar, the Iggy guy is like the intersection of your passion, your skill set, what the world needs and what you need from the world. I guess the piece that's going to fill your bucket right when those four come together and it's the magic that happens in the middle, Correct?

Speaker 4 10:44

Yes, come together and it's the magic that happens in the middle, correct? Yes, it's a Japanese word and it's this like crazy Venn diagram I encourage you all to like look it up.

Finding Her Ikigai in Home Loans

Speaker 2 10:50

Absolutely, absolutely. I love that. When did you realize that it was your ikigai? Is this recent?

Speaker 4 10:56

I think it was pretty soon after. Every day I find another reason like this is the reason why I love this. Like I love solving problems, I love learning new things. There's always something new in mortgages Like it's just like this thing, that's just infinite knowledge, you know, just like what you all do as well. Like it's infinite. I also love that therapy was infinite too, you know. So I just love that I can continue to learn. I love that there's always a new situation. There's always a new person to help. It's dynamic, it's fast. I think it's. Every day I realize like how much this is like a perfect fit for me.

Speaker 3 11:33

So Well, and I think with your background too. I mean, because Natalie and I joke in real estate and in coaching we become counselors because we're helping people through a highly stressful situation, and so you've got the tools to help people. So I imagine that really comes in handy when you're working with people through something that's a huge decision for them.

Speaker 4 11:53

Absolutely. I think about that all the time. I've designed the low stress stress process with that in mind, because I'm like what would stress someone out about this situation? Right, it stresses people out when they can't get a hold of you. It stresses people out when they don't understand, when they're confused, when they're frustrated, when the numbers don't make sense, when the process is not smooth and easy, when I'm not giving them the information ahead of time and saying here's what you can expect. When they don't feel confident, they don't understand, they feel stress.

Speaker 4 12:23

And then also there's also parts of the process that I try to minimize the stress as well, which is like let's get you pre-underwritten and pre-approved first and then go shopping. So I basically have thought about every step along the way, like how can I prevent stress in this so that we don't start stimulating a anxiety response or any sort of frustration or peace of like, disrupting their peace of mind? I want my people to feel joy and calm and I know it is inherently a stressful situation, but not from, not when they're working with me. Then that's the goal, and I also find that my skill sets with listening, being a really good listener and then responding to what I'm hearing also really helps in this role.

Speaker 2 13:13

100% I love it Well, brand new to the industry. Did you come in realizing that there was a tremendous amount of stress, and I'm going to say stressful actors that come to the table during a transaction, and is that what prompted you to create the tagline of low stress, jess? Or was it over time that you realize there's a need for this and I this is the service, that, this is my differentiator. What did that look like for you?

Creating a Low-Stress Process

Speaker 4 14:36

That's a good question. I have bought my house and I can tell you it was stressful. I actually ended up solving my own loan. I was told no and I was like actually you're wrong. I found the answer myself and told him and I remember that. I also remember just having a phone conversation about the rate and what rate I should choose and why, and it didn't make any sense to me and I still doesn't make any sense to me why I went with one rate versus another. And I just remember being like that process was horrible. I remember feeling stressed all the way up until I signed the last document. Wow yeah. I just remember thinking like this is not going to close, is it? Is it? Is it? It was so worried.

Speaker 4 15:25

So when I it's actually funny like there's a program called Mortgage Coach that it basically you can see loan side by side, and I never had seen that before until I got into this business and I saw it and I was like this is a game changer.

Speaker 4 15:41

I was like if I would have seen this when I was buying my house, I would have understood so much more here and I would have been able to make a much more educated decision and I would have felt a lot more confident in locking and whatever my rate. So I think that was like the start of me being like I can make this process better and I can hold people in a really safe place and make them feel confident. And then I also have my background in education. So I knew I was always going to take the time to like break down every little piece, like I'm not, I will go over it two different ways, three different ways, whatever sticks. So I knew that I was going to always do that. And then the low stress jazz. It took me two years to think of that. I was like what is going to be my tagline Like how do I differentiate?

Speaker 4 16:30

And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it's perfect because it wraps in my background. So, yeah, I love it, and it is really a mantra for me too. It's me committing to being low stress in my life and not allowing stress to come into my life and noticing when I do feel stressed, like how I'm going to handle it. I'm not going to allow it to fester. That's huge.

Speaker 3 16:53

Yeah, that is huge and I would love for you to share, because I have gone through one of your virtual classes that you kind of did, that kind of walked through. So you just said that it helps you. You have tools that you use to help with stress in your own life. I think all of us could use some of those tools. If you wouldn't mind sharing some of those with us.

Speaker 4 17:10

Absolutely. Yes, I did create this brain training. I have all this skills and education that I'm like. I've got to use this somehow. You know, I've got to keep giving back to the community with these skills and so I created a brain training to cultivate peace and sustained energy and through there it's about an hour and a half plus where I walk you through so much information that I hope it does some of it stick, but essentially what I would go through in like four months with one client, week by week, in one and a half hours. So it's really it's like a downpour of information. So one thing that I do for myself, now that I've found what I would say peace of mind I really have. I've found a peaceful mind.

Speaker 4 17:59

I don't know if everybody has this or if it was just me that didn't have a peaceful mind for many, many, many, many years. I had an anxiety mind and I was worried about a lot of things and I was overthinking a lot of things and I allowed that to go on and I also didn't have the tools to face it. So what I do now is, if I notice a thought that's repetitive, I know that there's something there that I need to address that thing and it's going to be either a moment of self-reflection to kind of dig in there, quiet, quiet time. It's going to be me taking action in some way to address it and I also protect myself from things that are a little bit that could cause anxiety or that could create a repetitive thought pattern in my brain. Because essentially, like what we go over in that brain training is basically what's going on in your brain is that whenever you are thinking, your thoughts are kind of like neural pathways and every survival of the busiest. So if you keep repeating that same thought again and again, you're actually strengthening that neural pathway and I just I don't want those neural pathways of worry to continue in my mind anymore.

Tools for Calming an Anxious Mind

Speaker 4 19:14

So I am really good at observing my mind and recognizing when I'm having a thought that's duplicating and I'm like, oh, there's something there. What is it Like? I do a little like what I call self therapy, which is most people can't. I don't know if I trust most people to do their self therapy, but I've done it for myself now, which is just kind of holding space for myself with kindness, with compassion, trying to add some context in there. What's going on? Yes, you're not feeling great. How well did you sleep last night? Like, are you really stressed out with work? Is there a lot going on? Is there a relationship that's out of place right now, like just kind of holding space for myself to kind of dig into, like why am I having this repetitive thought and what can I do? What am I empowered to do to do about this thought? And then, once I resolve it, then that thought can be released and I don't. I don't want to think it again. You know?

Speaker 2 20:12

Yes, exactly, it's like thank you, check, we're done, we're. Thank you for that, your time. We're moving on to the next thing, yeah exactly.

Speaker 3 20:19

Yeah, I mean, I think, with the what we're seeing in the world right now and probably in our country, I think probably a lot of people are feeling that kind of anxious mind and they're thinking about negative things on a constant basis, and I think what you said is so important. The more you think about it, the deeper those neural pathways get and the harder it is to create new neural pathways. When you're just staying, what you focus on expands, and so I'm quieting that brain and I love the idea of protecting it. I know I've said this on the podcast before I got rid of news, like years ago. I don't miss it and I still know how to function, but I did that because of that reason. Everything was so negative. I'm like I just this too much. Every time I do it, I get anxiety and I just don't sleep well, don't take care of myself. So I love that.

Speaker 2 21:11

I think, jess, when you talk about like that anxious brain as well, that it can pop up in a variety of ways for people, because, as you were sharing your experience, I just started to do my own reflection and I didn't consider that I had like anxious brain. Like where I'm, I have those repetitive thoughts, but I am a recovering people pleaser because of you know, just coming out of just my childhood upbringing and that's what I thought right, like you get praise and affection when you do things that are right. And I grew up during the timeframe where, like it was like you're a good girl and you do good girl things and you're sweetened and whatever. Right, it's sugar and spice and everything nice. Like that's the programming that we got and as innocent as it sounds, it's like okay, so it's sweet and spice and everything nice. Like that's the programming that we got and as innocent as it sounds, it's like okay, so it's sweet and spice and everything nice, and that's what I'm going to do.

Speaker 2 21:57

So everything that I do and how I process things was how will my parents perceive this, or those people that that I look up to or that are looking to me to continue to be successful or fill in the blank, whatever it is that they put on your shoulders to be. Those are the thoughts that continue to repeat in my mind, right? So it wasn't like my own busy thoughts, but it was like okay, well, how do I process this to make sure that that person is satisfied with how I show up and what I do, which I think you've got to be able to kind of like, as you mentioned. You've got to be able to like work through that piece, because that is a neuropathway that was formed and was very strong, and it started at a very, very young age and I brought it into my early adulthood yeah, yeah, I know it's these patterns that are set well before.

Speaker 4 22:43

We're adults, right, who have a brain and a prefrontal lobe. They can actually break it into pieces and say, well, what is this? And now it's just like this background noise that does still affect our behavior, our thoughts and everything. And now, as an adult, you can pick it apart, you can address it and you can notice when you're doing it and then you can try to do something different. My other trick of the trade, which I think you guys have even had on here a trauma related think you guys have even had on here a trauma related. You've had trauma related discussions and you've also had hypnotherapists on this before.

Speaker 4 23:19

I do have a trauma therapist that I absolutely love not saying that what you experienced was trauma at all, but what I like about her is that it doesn't have to be trauma. It can be anything that you just want to stop doing and she will help you get there. And I have seen her now for three different issues. One was driving. I was in a car accident. The other one I don't mind sharing is you know, I want to spend my money and save my money better. I want to be a saver. I want to stop the other side of my behavior. And I saw her eight months ago for this and you think, oh, you just saw her one time for this and it would be done, like whatever help she could do was done at that time. No, it's still helping and today I can say that I, the way I treat money, is totally different.

Speaker 3 24:20

Just from one session with her.

Speaker 4 24:22

Yeah, wow, it's powerful what she can do, because it's going into the subconscious, because some of this stuff is not in our conscious mind and she's able to kind of just rewire it and reframe it. And I now, as I am thinking about spending money, I'm like I need to evaluate this. I need to really think about how I'm spending money.

Speaker 3 24:41

So it's not that impulse. Yes, I'm going to buy that. Now it's like, oh, hold on a second, let's think about this.

Speaker 4 24:49

Yes, huge so what type of therapy does she do? It's called rapid resolution therapy. Shout out to Heather Reynolds. I've sent her hundreds of people by now. So it's not magic, but it feels very magical because you can walk out feeling better.

Speaker 3 25:08

Is it like NDR a little bit?

Speaker 4 25:10

It's hypnotherapy. It's a unique form of hypnotherapy. I'd say I've never been through official hypnotherapy. But she does hypnotize you at one point, but nothing to be scared of, because you're fully present and you have 100 your capacities around and you're very much there. And it's also very consensual, like you can't be hypnotized unless you really want to be.

Speaker 2 25:33

You know right oh my gosh wow have you done hypnotherapy for other areas of your life?

Speaker 4 25:38

no, I've never done it for anything else. Yeah, yeah, I mean, she's helped me with three different issues and they're all improved. So, yes, awesome fabulous. That's the healing. That's a good healing message Like you, don't have to suffer.

Speaker 2 25:53

Yes, and you don't have to do it on your own. Yeah, you don't have to suffer, and you definitely don't have to suffer alone, right, yes?

Healing After Trauma and Concussion

Speaker 3 26:02

Oh wow, would you share with us? I know you were in a car accident. Would you share a little bit about that recovery, because I know that's been quite a journey for you.

Speaker 4 26:12

Yeah, I'm excited to share this. I haven't really shared this with too many people because when I was going through it it was very difficult to acknowledge and to deal with in my mind, like just to even wrestle with. Like is this real, like is this happening? I was in a car accident where I got rear ended and wouldn't think anything of it, but I did get a concussion out of that and the concussion symptoms led to post concussion syndrome and from there I healed. But also there's some just remnants of things that just didn't heal. And it was over a year plus that I was suffering and trying to find out what was going on.

Speaker 4 26:56

One of my physical therapists was like, you know, she put me on this machine and she's like basically what I'm seeing is that your body is saying I'm okay, but your mind is saying you're not okay and she's like that's a disconnect. You should schedule to get a neuropsych exam. Ann Schutz has hospital and that took a year to get in with them, yes. So I finally got the neuropsych and they said, yes, there are executive functioning concerns that you should address and things to improve. So from there I was like okay, it's not just in my head, you know, because before I was like I know I'm not my hundred percent normal Jessica self Like I knew that I wasn't.

Speaker 4 27:47

One of my favorite things about myself is my ability to focus. Like I can sit down and I can be focused for like five hours, eight hours. I can just grind through it With a master's degree. You have to like be able to sit and read and write papers and I just love that about myself. I was like I'm such a good focuser and then I couldn't. I couldn't focus. Like looking at the computer for long periods of time was a big problem, so I'd have to take breaks, like I'd have to take like 20 minute breaks or half an hour breaks, like step away.

Speaker 4 28:22

I had a lot of support behind me to get through a lot of the difficult parts because obviously my job is a lot on the computer. So I had a lot of supports in place. So I'm so grateful that I have people in my life that I don't know if you're talking about resiliency, I think support and mentorship and people. I call them my executive board, I call them my mentors. They are the people that have lifted me up through this difficult time. So, and of course I'm a little self-conscious about my mind not working at 100%, you know, while I was also being a loan officer and trying to provide five-star service to everybody you know. So that's a little, that's a little vulnerability for me, for sure.

Speaker 3 29:06

Well, and yeah, asking for help is huge. You know you could very easily try to suffer alone or think, oh, I can push through this, oh, this will be fine, I can do this, but you didn't. You reached out and got the help, even though it took you a year to get in.

The Power of Support and Mentorship

Speaker 4 29:20

Yeah, it took a year to get the neuropsych and then it took me some time to like find a doctor that actually could help me. You know, and at this point I was thinking like I can't be helped. You know, and there is. This is just the new me.

Speaker 1 29:36

Thank you for joining us today on the reignilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion, please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.