Real Estate Mogul to Coaching Mentor + Resiliency with Steve Rupp (part 1)

"Relationships and outcomes – that's what they want and that's what they'll pay for."

What happens when you sell a business that's become your identity? Steve Rupp, a 25-year real estate veteran who built one of Indianapolis' highest-producing teams, takes us deep into the psychological landscape of career transitions.

"I feel like I lost my identity," Steve confesses, describing the moment after selling his successful real estate business.  His journey through banking, entrepreneurship, and promotional products created the perfect, though unplanned, foundation for his eventual real estate empire.

The most fascinating aspect of Steve's story isn't just his success but his ability to do what most real estate professionals never accomplish – monetize his business through a structured buyout. "Real estate agents work so hard... and then they just turn off the lights, shut the door, and walk away," Steve laments. His solution? Building systems and models that create transferable value, allowing him to sell his business when the passion faded.

Steve's father offered wisdom that resonates far beyond real estate: "Always retire TO something, not FROM something." People who retire from things without purpose often decline quickly, while those with new missions thrive. This philosophy guided Steve's transition into coaching, though not without challenges. "Am I a real estate agent? I'm not a coach yet," he recalls thinking during the awkward identity shift.

Perhaps most surprising is Steve's revelation about client priorities. Despite being one of the most formally educated agents in the world with 18 designations, he discovered clients don't actually care about credentials.

About Steve Rupp:

Steve Rupp is a 25-year real estate industry veteran who grew up in real estate and led one of the highest-producing teams in the city.  He is known as one of the most highly educated real estate agents in the

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Transcript

Podcast Sponsor Introduction

Speaker 1 0:00

Before we dive in, we want to give a big shout out to our amazing sponsor for today's episode, jessica Glazer. Mortgage Loan Officer with Elevations Credit Union. If you are looking for a calm, confident guide through the mortgage process, you're going to want low stress Jess in your corner. With 25 years of experience helping people reach their goals, jessica brings a whole new level of care and clarity to the lending process. Her system is built around proactive communication and thoughtful guidance, so you never feel lost or overwhelmed. What makes Jessica stand out, it's not just her professionalism, it's her heart. She's a foster mom, a community organizer, a dog rescue advocate and someone who truly shows up for people, whether it's through Big Bones Canine Rescue or the Cruise Foster Children's Charity. If you're ready to make your next move with less stress and more support, reach out to Jessica Glazer at Elevations Credit Union. Find her information in the show notes below.

Meet Steve Rupp, Real Estate Veteran

Speaker 2 1:02

Now let's dive into today's episode her information in the show notes below. Now let's dive into today's episode. All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Speaker 3 1:44

Welcome back to another episode of Reignite Resilience. I am your co-host, Natalie Davis, and I am so excited to be back with all of you today. And joining me, of course, is your co-host, Pam Kass. Pam, how are you today?

Speaker 1 1:56

I'm fabulous. It is a beautiful Friday afternoon and we have these Friday afternoon recordings and it's a great way to end the week.

Speaker 3 2:06

It is a wonderful way to end a week. Yes, yeah, except this is not my end. I still have my to-do list is not done, so I've got some things to do.

Speaker 1 2:16

It doesn't ever end. I mean, I didn't mean like we're done. We're done Like yes. And in our industry are we really ever done?

Speaker 3 2:25

No, well, we'll get there, we'll figure it out. There's going to be a time that we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 2:31

Someday.

Speaker 3 2:32

Someday. It's not today, though, but it is a beautiful wonderful Friday afternoon and we have a guest joining us today and I am so excited. This is a person that I've had the opportunity to get to know and enjoy and respect and appreciate and work with or alongside, or just grow with and grow alongside. I don't know what we're doing together, but we'll figure out what we're doing. Why don't you tell our listeners who's joining us today, pam?

Speaker 1 2:57

Absolutely so. Today we have Steve Rupp with us, and he is a 25-year real estate industry veteran who has grown up in the real estate and led one of the highest producing teams in the city. He is known as one of the most highly educated real estate agents in the world, having earned 18 designations and certifications. Steve is married to his wife, bridget, and has a daughter, anastasia, who is a sophomore at IU, and Natalie, who is a freshman at Westfield High School and is a competitive cheerleader. When not working, steve enjoys traveling to Europe. Welcome, steve, so excited to have you here. So tell us about yourself. And oh my gosh, 18 designations and certifications yeah.

Speaker 4 3:44

Well, thank you, Thanks, Pam and Natalie, for having me. This is this is. This is fun. We're going to have a good time.

Speaker 3 3:49

We're going to have a good time. Exactly yes.

Speaker 4 3:51

Yeah, there's a nice, nice intro, so I don't know what else I can add to that. You kind of got me in a nutshell there. Okay, we're done. There it is. That's a wrap. Quickest podcast ever yes yes.

Speaker 3 4:06

Well, I mean 25 years in the real estate industry.

Speaker 4 4:09

There's some background there Talk to us a little bit about that, because that is yeah exactly. Lots of books we could write right. Isn't that what everybody says? You should write a book.

Speaker 3 4:20

Yes, I've got a couple ideas for coffee table books about the real estate industry that I think would be very entertaining and eye-opening. I don't know if that's a good bad, but you'd be entertained and I think my clients would be like was that me?

Speaker 1 4:33

Yes?

Speaker 3 4:34

Yes, and is that real?

Speaker 4 4:37

Totally 100%, totally 100%. Yes, everyone would be looking at that. I think that was me.

Speaker 1 4:44

I'm pretty sure that was me. Was that? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was me. We're gonna have to put a disclaimer. These are fictitious characters.

Speaker 3 4:49

Yes, the names have been changed or not?

Speaker 1 4:55

yes, but that's I mean careful, because they might end up in our book right, that's right.

Speaker 4 5:02

Right, right, that's right. That's another form. That's another form that clients need to sign at the beginning, right, with everything else they need to sign. You may show up in a book. You're releasing your, your, your copyright to me to do that.

Speaker 3 5:14

Another another disclosure form.

Speaker 4 5:18

We need another one.

Speaker 3 5:22

Yes, I love it. I love it. Well, give us a little bit of insight. I mean, you're right, probably years and years of stories, but getting into the business, building a team, a highly successful team, and building a significant reputation for yourself in terms of the real estate space, I mean, what was that journey like for you?

Journey Through Banking to Real Estate

Speaker 4 5:41

Yeah, so you know I grew up in the business. My dad was in real estate. He did the thing that you're told never to do and he actually got into the business when the year that his first child was born, which was me, and so it goes all the way back to 1972. So he got in the business. Then he worked for a small local company here and then he ended up leaving that company and taking six other agents with him and started up Century 21 franchise and it was one of the first ones here in the area and he was the managing broker and owner and they went on. I think he was the owner there for I don't know 16, 17 years and he ended up they were the number one Century 21 office in the world for 11 out of 13 years here in little Indianapolis. So he went to all the conventions and walked across the stage and has a whole closet full of gold jackets and all that stuff. That's right.

Speaker 4 6:45

And the funny thing is that you know he was kind of telling me throughout high school and college that you know well, you know you should go into real estate or whatever. I was like. I don't want to go into real estate. I see how hard you work, I see all the crap that you put up with and all the you know the missed dinners and the vacations that erupted and you know, and all the stuff that we deal with, and I was intentionally trying to get out of it and not do it. And so I went to Xavier University and I majored in entrepreneurial studies before it was even a thing and the department had two professors and I think there were 30 kids in there and I ended up getting my degree in that and I did what every entrepreneur does and I went to work for a bank and that was an interesting sell to all the bankers out there. When you were doing interviews and they're like you're not a finance or accounting major, why would we want to hire an entrepreneur? That's just kind of weird. So somebody took a chance on me and I ended up working for a bank. Here's my thought process. My thought process was I'm going to own my own business at some point and I want to be able to know and understand what the devil for I have to sleep with him. So I want to understand how the financial markets worked and how money worked, and so I went into banking.

Speaker 4 8:06

I liked some of it. I hated a lot of it and it was just too regimented, and so the most favorite part was being a branch manager and I love doing that. I love leading the team and we're actually the number one in the region. And it was really fun until I was in Boy Scouts and an old scout master of mine pulled me out of there and said hey, I've got a business that I own and I would like for you to bring you in and you take it over one day when I retire. And for this little mid-20-something kid, you mentioned the word ownership to him and there are all kinds of giddy and it's like yeah, I don't really care what this is all about.

Speaker 4 8:45

But you say ownership, I'm there, yes. So that was me and that was a flop. I hated that. It lasted five months and got fired. He fired me and then I ended up working for a promotional products company for about a year and I did really well with that and I don't know how much you know about promotional products, but you got to sell a lot of them to make any money. So as a project manager, you were working on like 50, 60, 70 projects at a time. You were making maybe $30, $40 for each project. So you had to do a lot and I was like man, this is bonkers, why do I want to do this? I'm working too hard.

Speaker 4 9:26

So I went after these big companies. I went after, like Anthem Insurance, sears Hardware National Account, the Pacers, the Colts Sheriff's Association. I went after these big companies. I did really well. And then the owner of the company came up to me and she said Steve, this is not the way the company is run. You can't keep doing it this way. So you got one of two choices you can either A do it my way or leave. And I left, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 9:57

And so my dad was like well, son, you don't have a job, I have a job for you. I will pay for you to go get your license and give me a year, and if you don't like it, great, go do something else, but give me a year If you do like it. I only have one requirement, and that is that you need to go back to licensing school. This is when we were a dual license state and you need to go back to licensing school. This is when we were a dual license state and you need to go back and get your broker's license, because I don't want you to be beholden to anybody. If you want to hang a shingle outside your house that says rep real estate, I want you to have the freedom to be able to do that. And, as I've found as I've gotten older, my dad is usually right. So I went back and got my broker's license and joined him. We worked together for about five years and he mentored me for five years and then he retired and I took over the business and then I grew it and during that time I was still working at his company.

Speaker 4 11:02

I was too comfortable and I was stuck. I was just kind of like stuck at a production level. I just couldn't get over it and I would ask my coaches there about what do I need to do? And they were coming up empty and like I don't know, and that was kind of my. That was my cue that I needed to leave. And so you know, that's when I went over and I interviewed a bunch of companies and I ended up hanging my shingle at KW very entrepreneurial company, as you know, and that resonated with me and I quintupled my production in just a matter of three years. So it really is a lot to do and I teach a lot about this.

Speaker 4 11:42

Where most agents make changes, I think for the wrong reason. You know they're looking for an external solution for an internal problem, and I will say that I was one of the rare people that needed an external solution for an external problem and it worked, and so that change for me was good. Most agents they're not going to see a radical change like that unless your environments are just not conducive to what you're trying to achieve, and that's what happened with me. So I ended up building a team and ran the team. So I ended up doing that for 25 years and I loved it until I didn't, and then I needed to take a break and so I ended up selling my business to a very good friend of mine with whom I worked almost the entire time. I ended up selling my business to a very good friend of mine with whom I worked almost the entire time. I met him at my dad's company first, and then he came over with me to KW and now I'm technically on his team, but I don't produce anymore. We have a buyout agreement, so that works for me.

Speaker 4 12:40

And that's probably the biggest disappointments I have in this industry is that real estate agents work so hard for what they do, like any business owner blood, sweat, tears all the nights, all the weekends, all the missed occasions, the sporting events, the birthdays, the time with your family, the late nights, the worrying, the stress, the lack of money I mean go on, and on, and on, and on and on. The worrying, the stress, the lack of money. I mean go on and on, and on, and on and on. And then they build this business and they put all this stuff into it, and then they leave and they just turn off the lights and shut the door and walk away. And my question is why? Why do you not monetize what you built. Every other company does, that there's value to it, and that's what makes me sad. And so that's, you know, one of the things that I, for any of the coaching clients that I have now we talk about that we're like you need to build a business based on systems and models, because that is behavior, it's outputs that you can anticipate and someone is willing to pay for that, and if you don't do that, you don't have a business.

Building Success Through Education & Systems

Speaker 4 13:51

And so, anyway, that was kind of how I got here and then, in the middle of all that, got married and had some kiddos and I got two daughters. So I'm a girl dad and one of my youngest is a competitive cheerleader. So I go to all the cheer events and I always tell and the moms know this now, but there are some dads there and I'm not going to say they're not, there's absolutely dads there, but it is we are absolutely in the minority and there's a lot of times for our team where I'm I'm like one of the only dads there. So I had to get real comfortable real fast with mom talk. I always tell the ladies I said there is absolutely nothing that you can tell me that's going to embarrass me or make me feel uncomfortable. You can talk about whatever you want to talk about, and I am right there with you.

Speaker 3 14:35

I've heard it all. I feel like mom talk is a little bit different than cheer mom talk. Like cheer mom talk.

Speaker 4 14:41

It might be yeah. Cheer moms are crazy.

Speaker 1 14:46

Yes, in a good way, in a good way, in a good way. So not so good.

Speaker 3 14:55

I think that would be true of any situation there's always, sometimes, when there's that level of competition that's involved and at stake, yeah, I mean, you've got the internal competition, like you know, fighting for the spot on the team or on the squad, and then the competition with the other teams, and and then it's competition year-round. I yeah, I feel like it's there's a lot of competition in that space and competition equals drama and cheer is is not immune to drama, my gosh, I mean.

Speaker 4 15:22

They've. They've had shows and movies about it and I'll tell you, it's not that far off from the real dance. Mom, is that the band? And I love it, and I love it. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 15:34

It's awesome.

Speaker 1 15:35

I love that.

Speaker 3 15:36

Well, steve, that's a great story. Thank you Like giving us kind of the background in a nutshell, and there are a couple of things that I want to go back and take a look at and, if you don't mind, like as you found yourself in that spot that you didn't have a job and dad said, well, I have one for you. Where were you in that time? Did you feel like you had exhausted all of your resources? Because I mean, coming out of college, you've got an entrepreneurial degree and now you're going to create whatever it is that you want to create, to establish this life that you want to have and be your own boss, and you went the nonttraditional route to get to what was the beginning of a very successful business. But where were you at that time?

Speaker 4 17:12

The way I got here was is a little non-traditional, but then again it's well. It is non-traditional because most agents don't get to take over the business from their, their parents. So I absolutely recognize that and I also recognize that it was. It was easier for me to get into it, to be really candid with you versus starting from scratch. On the other hand, it was a weird and unplanned I'm not that smart journey that I had that perfectly prepared me for what I ended up doing. You know, I went to college with an entrepreneurship degree, so it taught me how to start and run a business. With an entrepreneurship degree, so it taught me how to start and run a business. It also taught me going to college with I was heavily involved in club activities and sports and everything taught me interpersonal communication skills, leadership, all that, which was great. And then I went into banking, so that taught me the finance part of it which, as you know, is an integral part for real estate. And then I went into a small business. So I learned how small business ran and, frankly, there's a lot of stuff that that business wasn't doing right. And I saw it was a closely held business, a husband and wife, and so I saw how family interacted in a negative way and so I learned that. And then I learned marketing through the marketing piece that I did and how to market and brand and so forth. I had all of that. If you look back at it, you're like man. That was a pretty good in managing people, you know, with managing at the bank. You kind of look at it, you kind of hit all the major buckets for what you need to do for real estate without knowing it.

Speaker 4 18:45

So I had a really good foundation for this business, completely unintentionally, and then an awesome mentor and my dad had a stellar reputation within the industry still does. Many of the long timers definitely remember him and know him and so I had some great long coattails to get on so it made my runway a lot shorter. That I needed to do to ramp up. So you know where I was. At that point I was like man. You know I've tried this. I've tried three different things now and you know, might as well give it a shot, see how it goes. I enjoyed it. I am a non-traditional real estate agent. I will tell you that because my personality is a little different from other real estate agents Most real estate agents on a dis-personality scale are high D and high I, and I am a high I, but I'm also an extremely high C, so very, very detail-oriented, and that is not what most real estate agents are. I'm a high C, s, I D, in that order, oh wow.

Speaker 4 19:50

Which is exactly opposite what most real estate agents are. So I like the clients that most agents hated. You know your engineers, your accountants, your lawyers. I mean I could relate to them very well and I was very detailed. And that's where I love to live is in the details, and most agents don't, and so that's how I could kind of create a name for myself with that. You know, if you're in that profession and you like details, I'm your guy. You know I can do that and I can outshine these other agents who might be more experienced than I am.

Speaker 4 20:21

And then you know that also leads to my desire to, you know, to get experience quickly.

Selling a Real Estate Business

Speaker 4 20:24

And that's why I, to you know, to get experience quickly. And that's why I started, you know, doing all those designations and the alphabet soup or whatever, because I wanted to learn and I felt that, with me being a responsible for one of the most important financial decisions of someone's life, that I needed to earn the opportunity to be part of that, and just getting my real estate license I didn't feel was enough, and so I wanted to make sure that I was able to have the educational background for that, and so that's why I started doing it and I'm an education junkie my whole family is teachers so I kind of come by it honestly, and once I started I just kept going, and then I kind of made it a game. So I kind of come by it honestly, and once I started I just kept going, and then I kind of made it a game and I kind of looked at other agents and seeing how many they had and I was like, well, I want one more than they do, so what else can I learn, you know? And that's kind of how it came up. And before I knew it, someone was like you know, I think you are one of the most formally educated real estate agents in the world. And I was like, really, and they're like, yeah, look, there's no one else out there that has that many designation certifications, and you know the ironic part about it is consumers don't care.

Speaker 4 21:42

If you look at the NAR profile of buyers and sellers, if you ask them on that profile and it says what's a level of importance, at the very bottom, less than 1% is designation certifications your agent has. They don't care, which I find interesting and fascinating, because they don't care about how educated their agent is in an industry that is known for being uneducated.

Speaker 1 22:06

Yes, it's about relationships. That's what they're drawn to.

Speaker 4 22:11

That's exactly it Relationships and outcomes. Yes, people pay for outcomes Absolutely, and that's why it's easier for you to hand it off, to hand a client off when you have a team to a team member, because you know, even though, that they work for you, and this was something that I ran into all the time with you know, with the family business, you know, and then I started getting you know buyer's agents and so forth. You know assistants, marketing directors, whatever, and I could hand it off because they knew that the outcome was going to be the same or better than what they were used to. That's the magic in that.

Speaker 4 22:45

A lot of people ask how do you hand a client off to somebody? Well, it's easy. You just make sure that they know that you've got a system. They want the outcome, they want the system. Yeah, the other relationship, it's basically their own relationship. It's 100% agree with that. But they will work with somebody else if you can ensure them that they're going. That's what they want, that's what they'll pay for and that's why they move with agents. Clients move with agents so they don't stick with the brokerage. The brokerage doesn't provide the outcomes, the agent does. Got it.

Speaker 1 23:13

That's beautiful. I love that.

Speaker 4 23:15

I don't know. I probably got off on a tangent because I had no idea where we were going with that.

Speaker 1 23:20

I think that's so good, though, because when you talk about building a team, often agents just start a team, or they think they want to start a team because they got busy, but they've not put any systems or processes in place, and then they wonder why it just ends up being just this hot mess. And so you had these like dialed in systems, so it didn't matter who was doing it. If they follow the system. If they follow the recipe, they're going to get the same results every single time.

Speaker 4 23:45

That's right, that's exactly right. And you know, and let's face it, it's not not only real estate, it's any sales it's a numbers game. Yeah, you know it's math. Yeah, yeah, if you do what it takes to get the results you want, your, your, equation is going to balance, and if you don't, it won't.

Speaker 3 24:01

Well, steve, the same is true just from the business standpoint, because I'm in awe at the fact that you were able to take over the business from your dad and then, in turn, sell your business to your now the new owner of the business, or and or your business partner, as you mentioned and you alluded to, in this industry, in the real estate industry, it's very rare that you see established real estate practitioners that sell their business because they haven't built something that's sellable.

Speaker 3 24:28

And over all of the years, but for you to do, to be a part of that twice, right, you received it and you were able to sell it. Actually, I would have to say that is a very slim percentage of what actually happens in this market or within this industry, and I don't know if we've seen that transition happen multiple times yet. And so what has that process been like for you? Because what was like a family business from dad to you, now the new owner of the business, not a family member? Well, how has that transition been, as you're stepping out or becoming a member of the team? Hard?

Speaker 4 25:09

One word answer. You know, taking over for my dad. So I had different. My fears then were no one's going to want to work with me. You know they want to work with my dad and you know the majority of the business, well, it all came from him and you know we all have that, we all have imposter syndrome and it comes in. I'm not worthy. I mean it happens to everybody. And slowly but surely, over those five years I worked with my dad, I tracked our business. Over those five years I worked with my dad, I tracked our business and going from 100% him down to about 20% him and 80% me at the end of those five years, so I kind of proved to myself that I could do it.

Speaker 4 25:46

Now I also work and live, in much of my wife's chagrin, in the same place where I grew up and where she grew up. So she would love to move, but I was like you know, I need to stay here and that's where my relationships are and, as we talked earlier, it's real estate is based on relationships and so a lot of the people that my dad worked with, they literally watched me grow up and I knew them in those, those friend circles from my parents. I mean literally they watched me from when I was a baby to, you know, through college. I saw them come over for bridge and gourmet group and you know the church groups and doing the church activities and all this stuff that they literally watched me do it. So they had this innate trust in me, I think because they're like, well, you know, apple can't fall far from the tree, so you can't be that big of a screw up kind of a thing. So that was a that was nice. Then we switched and, you know, built the team.

Speaker 4 26:41

You know the interesting thing was that it was like that last three years before I sold is where I could really tell that that something needed to change, cause I just wasn't, I wasn't enjoying it, it was a chore. I didn't look forward to going to work every day. My team could feel it, I could feel it, my family could feel it, I'm sure my clients could feel it, and it was just one of those things where you know you just had to hit bottom in order to make a change. One of those things you know you're either going to.

Identity Crisis After Career Change

Speaker 4 27:09

It's either going to be pain or pleasure, right, and the strongest of the two is pain. That's what I had to go through, and every entrepreneur has gone through this. You've got to get through the pain to push through that ceiling. So that's what I did and I was like I still remember this. It was December 13th, about 11 o'clock at night on a Friday, and two years ago, and I was laying in bed with my wife and I said I think I'm done. And she rolled over and she was like done with what?

Speaker 1 27:40

Oh yeah. You probably lying in bed with your wife should probably put a little like I'm done with you, like yes, yes. She's like where, where are we?

Speaker 3 27:48

what are we talking about? What is happening you?

Speaker 1 27:51

have a heart attack.

Speaker 4 27:53

Yes, so you know, I was like I think I'm done selling, and so then the next thing you have to know, or to understand it. But the next words were probably not what you would expect most spouses to say, not the most supportive and it was oh so you can finally go get a real job. And I was like I don't think I can do that. I've worked for myself for 25 years. I can't work for the man. Anyway it was. She said what do you like doing, you know? So I really thought back and I was like you know what I love? I love teaching, I love training and helping other people. Again, going back, my whole family is teachers and so kind of come by it honestly. And she said why don't you, why don't you look into that? Cause? I told her. I said I don't know what I want to do, so I don't want to necessarily leave real estate because it's an industry that I love. I have devoted so much of my life to it. I mean, I don't know if I have any employable skills whatsoever, so I got to do something within my industry. So that's when I was like you know what? I think I'm going to look into training and coaching, and so that's when I started up my company you know, steve, rep coaching.

Speaker 4 28:58

I ended up calling my, my, my buddy the next day and I was like hey, can you meet me for a drink? I've got something I want to talk to you about. And so, you know, we did. And uh, I was like I'm done with real estate. And he was like what do you mean? And I said I want to sell it and I want you to buy it. And it's like okay, tell me more. And so we, I kind of talked about what my vision was and how I wanted to play out, and I talked a little bit about the financial aspect of it and everything.

Speaker 4 29:30

And I said what do you think? And he was like let me talk to my wife. And I'm all right, fine, take as much time as you need. And so he got back to me the next morning and sent me a text and said we're in. And so that's when we kind of got through the buyout phase and I was like you know what I know with my personality, I can't keep selling. So it was one of those things where I just had to have a clean plate, rip the bandaid off.

Speaker 3 29:55

That's it, yeah.

Speaker 4 29:58

And otherwise I was going to keep getting pulled back in.

Speaker 4 29:59

I knew that because that was my comfort place, whereas with starting a new company is very uncomfortable. So I was going to keep going back there. And so I knew that if I didn't, you know, burn the bridge, so to speak, that I was going to keep crossing it. And so I had to do that. And it was scary with starting over again from an established business that was generating a good you know good income, and you know it was all referral and repeat business and so forth.

Speaker 4 30:26

And so we ended up coming up with a plan and my team was was all on board. They had other things. All of them had other things that they were wanting to pursue. They were kind of staying there for me and I said you know what you need to do, what you want to do, and I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's not the team anymore. So everybody landed on their feet, which was great. You know, coming over to him, it was hard because I he didn't take my name and I was fine with that, and I told him to do that. I said you know, keep your name and then we'll do a transition. And so that's what we did and let my database now and all my clients and everything. That's a three-year buyout and so I still I'm still in touch, I do my birthday anniversary calls, we, I attend events, you know all that stuff, letting people know I'm still there because I still get get income from the team.

Speaker 4 31:14

But I will tell you that transition from when I chose this April 1st of last year is when I, when I officially sold probably not the best date on April Fool's Day, looking back at it, but we'll see who the fool is and I guess shortly you have four, four years left. Let's just let's look at it five years from now, right, but I understand it 100%. Now I get it and what I get is that when I sold my company and I no longer had ownership interest in it, I wasn't the one calling the shots and we did team photo shortly thereafter to update the photos with me and whatever. And the photographer was like all right, we're going to have boss man in the middle, and I started to step forward and I was like that's not me anymore, that's you, james. So I'll sit off on the side and it was. You know, it's kind of an ego hit when, when you have that and it's okay.

Speaker 4 32:26

But the hardest part was, you know, going to like a very active in the chamber, the chairman of the board for the chamber, and did that for a lot of stuff. And so I went to a luncheon and people you know were asking me. I was sitting down. I was like so what do you do? I didn't know what to tell them. You know, am I a real estate agent? Because that's really who I am. I'm not a coach. I haven't done that yet. You know, at least formally, I'm trained or anything. So what do I tell them? Do I tell them what I'm going to do, or do I tell them what I have done?

Speaker 4 32:56

And so for me it was kind of an awkward transition of, well, you know, I just sold a real estate business and, you know, real estate agent, and I'm starting a coaching company and everything, and that was that. But I feel like I lost my identity because that's who I was. Maybe you can relate to that. People ask you what's your name? Natalie Davis. Natalie, what do you do? I mean, it just rolls off the tongue. Everybody says that. And so, until you can't and you know, steve Rupp, what do you do? Used to be well, I run a high-performing real estate company. I help people with their real estate issues and challenges and I provide great solutions.

Relationships Trump Credentials in Business

Speaker 4 33:37

You know, whatever the answer was and now I couldn't say that so you know, it was kind of an identity crisis that I had and I understand how people, when they retire which is supposed to be the promised land, you know and they're like this isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be and because they lost their identity, they lost their purpose and that's why so many people you know, if you don't retire to something, you just retire from something. That's why you die. I mean, my dad told me and this isn't meant to be so morbid, but my dad used to work in Dundee, florida, back in the 60s and he sold condos down there for a developer and he told me he said, stephen, the one thing that I noticed and most of these were to seniors he said there's one thing that I noticed that I want you to always remember and that is that the people who come down here, who are retiring to something in other words, they've got friends, they've got activities, maybe they've got a second career, volunteer something, there's something for them to give them purpose the people who retire to something stay here and they stay healthy and happy. The people who are retiring from something the cold, a job, a crappy state, you know, whatever the case is, they don't really have anything here. They either move or they die within three years. Really, that's fascinating. He said so remember, when you choose to retire, always retire to something, not from something, and you'll live longer and happier.

Speaker 4 35:12

It was a profound statement that he made and it was a really interesting story, and I can't tell you how many times I've told that story because I've never heard anyone else say anything like that and people always agree with it. You know, once they think about it they're like, yeah, you're right, and I'm sure doctors and gerontologists and so forth, would you know, would agree 100%. Yeah, people don't think about that. And so I kind of was kind of finding myself in that too. You know, retiring to something not retiring because I still need to work, but doing something that I wanted to do and then I had to build up the authenticity to validate to myself that I was that and that imposter syndrome. And, like I said, anytime you start out, heck, you're a brand new real estate agent, you got imposter syndrome. Do you deserve to help that first client? Absolutely not. You don't deserve to help them.

Speaker 4 36:08

You don't know what you're doing Exactly, and the reason that you do have that opportunity is probably going back to what Pam was talking about earlier, and that is the relationship. You don't have the credentials or the resume. No, no, because that's something that you know. You go back and when I, when I'm teaching new agents, I'm like here's the deal. Your relationship is more important than what you know. And let me prove it to you.

Speaker 4 36:33

If you're going to go on a listing appointment today and let's say I am also competing with you for that business, and let's say I don't have a connection with this client, let's say they just they found me online or whatever, and you have a personal relationship with them. Who do you think is more likely to get the business, you or me? I could run circles around you. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I've been doing this for 25 years. I've got all the accolades, I've got all the resume, the pedigree that logically says you should hire Steve, and yet they were going to hire likely the other person. Why? Because of the relationship. Not because of what they have done, but because of the relationship that they have. And so you got that imposter syndrome, and I hate this phrase. I hate it. And it's still true. You got to fake it till you make it. Oh yeah, right, because you haven't earned the right for that business.

Speaker 1 37:29

No.

Speaker 4 37:30

But you got to fake it like you do. Yeah, Until you've done enough and you've got enough reps in where you have earned that right. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 37:40

Absolutely Well. And I think the other layer to that phrase like fake it till you make it I think a big part of that goes back to who is that person that's stepping into that space, right? So if you're stepping in as a coach now out of that real estate practitioner persona right? That was the avatar of who you were and how you operated for 25 years, and now you need to become this person that is Steve the coach. I mean, you absolutely have to fake it because you need to figure out how does Steve the coach show up? Who is he? What does he want? What's important to him? How is he structuring this new business, right?

Episode Closing

Speaker 3 38:18

So when you fake it till you make it, it's not that you're just pretending that you've successfully achieved it. It is testing out who is this new version of me so that I can do it and do it well, right? I think that's a big piece. It's not just pretending. So I think that's the caveat that we often just it's like fake it till you make it, you'll figure it out, it's fine. It's don't fake it. Who the heck are you and what do you offer a value? Yeah, creating that new identity. You have to create the new identity.

Speaker 2 38:46

Yes, because it is exactly that. Thank you for joining us today on the reignite resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.