Welcome Every Emotion at the Door + Resiliency with Pam and Natalie (part 2)

In this deeply personal episode, Natalie and Pam discuss Pam's transformative experience during a three-day virtual silent retreat, exploring how disconnecting completely opened doors to profound inner clarity and emotional release.

• Pam shares Rumi's powerful poem "The Guest House" which served as a guiding philosophy for welcoming all emotions
• The physical and emotional challenges of transitioning into complete silence, including physical symptoms that arose as part of the clearing process
• How movement meditation helped break through energetic blocks when traditional sitting meditation became difficult
• The jarring contrast between the peaceful silence of retreat and the bombardment of notifications when returning to normal life
• Discussion about how morning routines might need evolution as our spiritual practices deepen
• Practical advice for listeners interested in exploring silence, from full retreats to small periods of intentional disconnection

If you want to learn more about what's happening in the world of Reignite Resilience, head on over to reigniteresilience.com or follow us on Facebook or Instagram.

The Quiet Gift: A Journey of Self Worth and Resilience is now available for download as an audible.  Check it out!

Transcript

Rumi's Guest House Philosophy

Speaker 1 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. Resilience where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Speaker 2 0:41

The morning session she read another passage from Rumi and I wanted to read it because it's like what we're doing. It's what we're doing here in this, and it's Rumi's passage called the Guest House. Are you familiar with that?

Speaker 3 0:54

I don't think I am.

Speaker 2 0:55

Oh my God, Okay, I'm going to read it, okay, perfect.

Speaker 2 0:58

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival, a joy, a depression, a meanness, some monetary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all, even if they're a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. That's what resilience.

Speaker 3 1:40

Wow, that's powerful. I was like holy shit.

Speaker 2 1:42

Sorry, I cussed guys, it was just powerful. That's real, that's powerful. I was like holy shit, that's sorry, I cuss guys, it was just powerful and it was.

Speaker 3 1:47

That's real, that's it yeah.

Speaker 2 1:48

And it was funny Cause she talked about this is about enlightenment, and she goes if you don't like that word, and I didn't like that word, and so I was like, well, what would be other words? And it was inner clarity.

Speaker 1 1:59

I think.

Experiencing the Silent Retreat

Speaker 2 2:00

But here was what was interesting, cause I was able to meditate and it ended up being a beautiful experience. I was so grateful I did it and it's probably something I want to do like every year, almost like a reset. I think would be a great reset, but here's what happened. So seven o'clock was coming and I had everything turned off and then seven o'clock came and I turned my phone on and it was rapid fire text messages, I got your client under contract and it was like this overwhelming stress and I'm like shit, this is what I didn't miss.

Speaker 2 2:36

And I told yourself right out of it too right Like in that scene, what I should have done was told people that Monday morning and I should have allowed myself that evening. The beautiful thing was I had to make a couple of calls but I kind of then ignored everything. I went downstairs and the kids had made me dinner and it was hilarious because Ashlyn was like I actually enjoyed it because I talk to people all the time, so I don't mind not talking to people. But Dylan was like I don't like when you don't talk.

Speaker 3 3:03

Oh, wow Well.

Speaker 2 3:06

I'm like well, okay, Well, just remember that. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 3:10

For the two of them especially. Like you two need to remember that. You had that conversation. You and I were talking about that. My youngest daughter and I are the same. Like we can keep all day long, but if we do, we both realize I need a minute. It's not like a minute, it's, I need a day. I just need a day of non-talking, like we can talk and then we don't talk.

Speaker 2 3:30

which is why this podcast doesn't go out every single day, because Absolutely, cause I'm an introvert, I have to have my downtime or I am not a nice person.

Speaker 3 3:41

No, just ask my kids yes, okay, so hold on. I feel like we skipped Sunday, so this really-.

Speaker 2 3:47

Yeah, that passage was Sunday. Okay, I was able to get in the meditations very quickly. I was completely rested, obviously. I slept for nine hours, so I was able to do all the meditations that day. I did a bunch of walks out in nature and it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.

Speaker 3 4:04

It was weird. What about the voices? Were those?

Speaker 2 4:08

quieting down. They were totally quiet because every time I would close my eyes, I would instantly see colors and so, but here's what I did do because you know I'm a slow learner. I went to chat GPT and I said okay, this is what I saw when I was meditating. What does this mean?

Speaker 3 4:22

That's interesting. I'm curious. It must mean something.

Speaker 2 4:28

And then it gave me this whole thing and I started to read it and I'm like stop it, put it away, just be curious. It doesn't have to mean anything, but I thought it was hilarious. Our brain is so like. I got to understand this. I got to understand why did you hear mom and you wake up? Why did you blah? Because the guide, when she was guiding us through this, told us about these two dreams that she had, and it was part of her kind of spiritual awakening kind of a thing, and I was just like. So when I heard the mom, I was like, oh my God, what does that mean? Yes, so I'm just going to be curious. And she told us she goes, don't let this stop, keep meditating. Have I meditated since then?

Speaker 2 5:09

No, because I've just been back to my old habits.

The Power of Movement Meditation

Speaker 3 5:12

You got back into your morning routine, something that's interesting, pam. We've done our morning routines like pretty religiously for I don't know if that's the right word for quite some time, and this season, I'm going to say, of my life, I keep getting like the tap on the shoulder of you need to revisit it, like you've got to change some things up. This is not what you're supposed to be doing. It's not what it's supposed to look like. Do I know what it looks like? No, but I keep getting this like it needs to look different, and so when I figured that out, I'll let you know.

Speaker 3 5:43

But you went right back into that.

Speaker 2 5:44

You're like, okay, you know what, let me get up and have a cup of coffee. And it's so funny because now that you say that, I will say the morning routine this week has felt different. It is felt much more like a task than it has something I wanted to do, and so maybe what needs to happen is my morning routine needs to be thrown out the window and I just need to spend, instead of that, 40 minutes doing my morning routine. It's a 40 minutes of doing meditation.

Speaker 3 6:11

Yes, 100%.

Speaker 2 6:12

And so stay tuned.

Speaker 3 6:14

I am a guided meditation person, so if I Silent meditation Silent meditation is hard for me it is hard. I would enjoy going through that silent retreat just to be able to get to that place of stillness and silence. I think that's huge. I mean it took you half a day to realize, and I think that's telling your brain. It's like you're cute, we're not turning anything on, we're not having the conversation, we're actually going to do this, and your brain like gets on board right, like it's, you know, just trying to just do what it's used to doing, and then it needs to just be quiet for a minute.

Speaker 2 6:47

It just needs to be shh, like, shh. And it's funny cause I was speaking on an event just a little bit ago and somebody asked about something and I said, well, I just got off of a three-day silent retreat and they're like, can we bring you back for a session just on that silent retreat? I'm like, yeah, sure, Everybody in there, they're all like in leadership positions and they were just like, wait, what Silent retreat? She told us when she did her first silent retreat. It was seven days. I don't know if I could do seven days and it was in person.

Speaker 3 7:15

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 7:17

I know that made me just I remember that.

Speaker 3 7:20

Yes, just so everybody has reference. Just so everybody has reference, you can go back and listen to our prior episode with Rachel Jane Groover. She talks about the silent retreat. When we interviewed her didn't go into deep detail, but it was in person and I remember thinking absolutely not, there's no way seven days yeah seven days is a lot. Three days is a nice intro.

Speaker 2 7:37

I have a feeling that you're gonna go to five, your next one and then soon we'll hear interesting and I wouldn't mind maybe finding a silent retreat somewhere else, like away from home, that I can just go to, because it was pretty powerful. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 3 7:51

That's what you should ask ChatGPT, not the meaning of life. Don't ask ChatGPT that.

Speaker 2 7:57

No, not the meaning of life, just my dreams, my head, all the crap going on my head, the hummingbird, the butterfly, the colors, the eyeball, the blah, all the things.

Speaker 3 8:08

I've never seen an eyeball, but I have had different experiences just doing like guided meditations independently. When you have that collective though, I think that's another important piece that it's really powerful that we don't want to miss is you had almost 40 people around the world and you had all of those people that were local. Just the power of the collective coming together. That in itself, like amplifies it, tenets right Like you're already going into a space. That's go ahead. Yeah, oh, I totally just remembered.

Reflecting on the Experience

Speaker 2 8:36

Yes, so on Friday and Saturday afternoon for 40 minutes we did a movement. So we did a movement meditation where we stood up and we were doing like tapping and like jumping and like stretches and stuff like that. So when I came off of the sleeping and I didn't feel good, we did that energy clearing. After that was when I was able to meditate again. So I think that I had all of this energy that was like built up and some of it was that negative energy and so just by releasing that, and then we did it the next day and it same thing. It was just like, oh my gosh, you just felt so good just moving your body and she literally was like all right, clear the energy, like we did the tapping and the jumping and stuff, and that was 40 minutes of meditating that I liked. So I totally forgot about that because that's what got me from lying on the floor feeling nauseous and gross to being able to get back into the meditating and enjoying the rest of the evening and then sleeping like a baby.

Speaker 3 9:36

I'm sure I'm sure you were exhausted. The thing that comes up for me and that I think that people need to think about we talk about it all the time, but I don't know if we actually like give ourselves the moments to embrace all three. But we talk about mind, body, spirit, right, and so, like you were removing one of the three, right? So it's like mind, I need you to just hang tight. We're going to do some work with the spirit right now, Like what is my inner self, my higher self, whatever it is, like the person inside of me or the larger person that is. We're going to do work there.

Speaker 3 10:08

And again we go back to this being your first experience doing a silent retreat. You started to unpack things. We don't need to determine exactly what you unpacked. That's how your body responded to it. It was like, well, let's expel this, because we don't know what rug we had it under. But now it's out and we got to do something with it, and so that movement was like get it out, let's expel it out of the body. It's no longer here, we're done, we don't need to hold onto it anymore which is huge.

Speaker 2 10:32

I was just thinking that they recorded this entire weekend, so I could actually do another silent retreat just by watching the recordings.

Speaker 3 10:40

Independently, by yourself Independently if I wanted to. Wow, have you journaled to reflect on this? No, I mean, I'm not going to go into it, you do whatever you want, but I just think I know that, like 12 months from now, well, you'll have a podcast that's going to capture what you felt.

Speaker 2 10:55

Exactly this podcast will be there and, who knows, in one of our next books that we're writing that's true Probably will come up because we've just different phases. It's so interesting. So this was a powerful weekend. If you have an opportunity to do some sort of a silent retreat, highly recommend it, because we are constantly bombarded with stuff all day, every day, and I know a lot of people that are like, oh, I can't quiet my brain and I was like, yeah, no, not many of us can no.

Speaker 3 11:29

I think some people do a better job than others. But it's hard to really like truly sit and silence me with your inner self. How do you feel now that it's all said and done, because we're four days past retreat? How are you feeling, like, just in terms of your interactions with other people, how you're showing up in your spaces, how you look at yourself in the mirror? Like how does all that come together?

Speaker 2 11:51

I don't think I've fully unpacked it yet. You know what I mean. I think I just got right back on the train and was like back on my gerbil wheel whatever you want to call it this weekend, because it's just been so busy since seven o'clock. And so I'm going to get away for this weekend and I think I want to take some time to just do some reflection and journaling. That actually might be my morning routine. Tomorrow is just a free journal, freehand journal, just to unpack, like all of the things that I'm feeling, because sometimes it's scary to look at, thinking about. When I was reflecting on when she said you know what are the conditions, I was super emotional. And then when she talked about the other, the guest house, and I'm like I want to get that passage, I was like that is a powerful passage that I've never heard of. That reflection work is hard and it's scary because you're looking yourself right in the mirror.

Speaker 3 12:41

So, to be continued, I love it, and I think the other piece is recognizing that you had opened yourself up when that passage was shared. You were open and receptive anyway, and so it probably hit really deep, really fast, which is what triggers the body's emotional response right the energetic response that we have, yeah. With the tears and things. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome so you would do it again. Highly recommend 10 out 10. You recommend.

Advice for Starting Your Silent Journey

Speaker 2 13:09

I highly recommend. It is not for the faint of heart and you have to be all in and I would still probably do it as long as I've got a space where it was like a different, like it was different. So I didn't have any need to clean that room or do anything, I just slept in it and then left. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 13:26

I would imagine that you're probably more comfortable in your own space. I know that you said that you would do it elsewhere, but like if you were in a hotel, you're kind of confined to 400 square feet or whatever, and I wanted to be comfortable, I wanted to be able to go on a walk.

Speaker 2 13:39

I knew that at the retreat center I'd be sitting in an uncomfortable chair or I'd be sitting on the hard floor, and I was just like you know what I lay a pillow on my carpet and wrap up in a blanket if I want to, and last thing I want to do is lug all that stuff to retreat center my pillow, my blanket, all the things Exactly.

Speaker 3 13:57

I'm glad that you didn't burst into flames. I did not. I'm still here so. I love it. Well, that's a good thing. We're happy that you're here with all of us still, so that's a good thing, yes, and then you'll have to let us know, like as you do the journaling and the download, just that, download free journaling, just if anything else pops up for you, because, yeah, I think, as your guide mentioned, it's not going to end at 7 PM on Sunday, right?

Speaker 2 14:22

Well, you don't want it to end, you don't want to just go right back to what you were doing. You really do want to keep this as a practice, so that you're more intentionally showing up for things.

Speaker 3 14:34

What's the suggestion on how often you should do it?

Speaker 2 14:37

She said if you can, twice a day to meditate for 40 minutes, it's a lot.

Speaker 3 14:45

Baby steps. You did a three, three day.

Speaker 2 14:47

I think you can do it but I might try 30 minute meditation in the morning and then journaling after the meditation, and maybe that becomes my new morning routine.

Speaker 3 14:59

So yeah, exactly you know because here's what I do.

Speaker 2 15:01

On my morning routine. I'm typically writing lists of what I'm going to do that day, so it's all my tasks but it's still the writing right.

Speaker 3 15:09

Like you're still getting the writing part of it done, but if you do the meditation it's not going to be the list, it'll be fine. Like do the list first and then go into the meditation. Yeah, I love it. Oh my gosh, any advice for our listeners if they're wanting to do you know what I would say?

Speaker 2 15:23

just if you're interested or curious about it, google silent retreats near you because I know there's silent retreats and start small. But I would highly recommend it. And if you can't do that, pick a day or an afternoon or whatever where your phone is off, your computer is off, you don't do any chores, you just are present. Maybe that's where you start. And no social media, no listening to books, no reading, I mean nothing, but just quiet reflection, and maybe start there.

Speaker 3 15:58

Love that. I think that's great advice. It's a good starting point.

Speaker 2 16:01

Good starting point, don't dive in. I just jumped into the deep end.

Speaker 3 16:04

Yeah, I was just saying that Don't dive into the deep end, don't dive into the. I just jumped into the deep end. Yeah, I was just saying that. I was just saying that Don't dive into the deep end, don't dive into the deep end, like I did, and if you all do it, we want to hear about it.

Episode Closing and Call to Action

Speaker 3 16:15

So, like, make sure that you send us your feedback or comment on the post that we talk about this and you'll see the little sizzle reel that pops up for this episode. We'd love to hear if you've participated in something like this. If you're curious and learning more, reach out to us. Reach out to Pam. Pam will be able to let you know about all of that. I've not done it so I can't speak to it, just observing and witnessing it. It sounds like it was phenomenal.

Speaker 2 16:38

So I'm glad that you're able to share that experience with us.

Speaker 3 16:39

Me too. Me too, yeah, oh my gosh. Well, you all know the deal. If you want to learn more about what's happening in the world of Reignite Resilience, head on over to reigniteresiliencecom or follow us on Facebook or Instagram.

Speaker 1 16:51

Until next time we'll see y'all soon. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.