Rewriting Identity Through Connection, Gratitude + Resiliency with Jeff Luther (Part 1)

A fit ultrarunner collapses on a gym floor, flatlines for eight minutes, and wakes up asking to finish the workout. That moment became the starting point for a deeper journey—one that challenges how we define resilience, identity, and the quiet courage it takes to ask for help. We sit down with coach and speaker Jeff Luther, who survived sudden cardiac arrest in front of his teenage son and later faced a second terrifying episode that reshaped how he lives, parents, and leads.

Jeff explains his diagnosis—arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy—and the blunt truth that the training he loved was also what endangered him. He talks candidly about the anger and bitterness that followed, the shame of not feeling “grateful enough,” and the loop many high performers know too well: insist you’re fine, cling to control, and suffer in silence. The most moving turn arrives through his son’s eyes. Months after the arrest, a wrestling injury triggered a panic flashback and the words, “Dad, I can’t hear the sirens.” That sentence cracked the door to an honest conversation about fear, memory, and how families carry trauma together.

What changed Jeff’s trajectory wasn’t perfection but practice. He shares how he rebuilt from the ground up with simple daily gratitude, reframing “mental real estate” so appreciation could crowd out bitterness. We dive into the brain’s negativity bias, why connection is the real metric of a life well-lived, and the choice Jeff now frames for clients and himself: live dying, or die living. Expect practical takeaways for navigating identity loss, supporting loved ones through triggers, and resetting purpose after a health crisis.

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Transcript

Welcome And Episode Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Welcome back to another episode of Reignite Resilience. I am your co-host Natalie Davis, and I am so excited to be back with all of you today. And joining me is Pam Cass. Hello, Pam. How are you?

SPEAKER_04 0:54

I am fantastic. I think because of a couple of things. First of all, we just realized this is our last recording of 2025.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Oh, I was like, what year are you in? I was like, 2025.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

I do know the year. Yes. But also I'm in a three-day speaker training. So had the first day today. And of course, that first day when you're with it's like 40 plus people, all full of energy and just incredible. I'm like ramped up right now. I don't know. I've got like all this energy. So I'm super excited to be here. And of course, we have a guest. So when you have a guest, because our last podcast was just the two of us, which is always fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

It was fun because if you all missed it or didn't listen to it, we were talking about our upcoming Reignite Live that's happening in Loveland, Colorado on January 22nd. I'm gonna keep talking about it. So if you see me anywhere between now when you're listening to this and January 22nd of 2026, just know I'm going to talk to you about Reignite Live. We're super excited about it. Amazing lineup, amazing sponsors and vendors that are coming out. And of course, yours truly and Pam and guest speaker Rachel Jane Groover will be joining us. So yeah, go back and listen to that episode if you skipped it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

So if you literally want to meet us in person because you are just wildly interested in what we are in person, how tall we are. That's always what I'm always like. Wow, you're much taller or much shorter than I thought you were. But I that's so cute.

Introducing Guest Jeff Luther

SPEAKER_03 2:14

I have never been told that I'm much taller than people had anticipated. No, I'm always you're so tight. I'm like, thanks. Thank you. I am probably true to size of what you would imagine in a video zoom box. Oh my god, we do have a guest, as Pam mentioned, and I do not want to waste another moment. I want to dive right in because they have a fabulous story to share. When we talk about overcoming adversity, this individual has definitely done so. So, Pam, why don't you tell our listeners who's joining us today?

The Cardiac Arrest Story Begins

SPEAKER_04 2:47

Absolutely. So today we have Jeff Luther. He is a speaker and coach who built his life after surviving cardiac arrest during a workout in front of his teenage son. He now helps business owners, founders, and high performers lead with clarity, purpose, and action. Jeff lives in South Carolina with his three kids and is currently offering 50 free coaching sessions to support anyone ready to take the next step. Welcome, Jeff. We are so excited to have you with us today. And I'm just gonna pass it to you because that's a pretty incredible event to have happen. And then to have it happen in front of your child. That's amazing. Share with us your story.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Yeah. So I now I'm nervous, Pam. You said you're coming off this class and you're all amped up. I'm like, all right, y'all are y'all are pretty high strung already. Like your energy is infectious. It's fun.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Just don't worry, Jeff. Somehow you get tangled up in it and you just enjoy the ride. Here we are.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Just be sure and buckle up if you got the television.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

That was funny. You're like, if you want to come out and see how tall we are.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

What other questions would they want to know about us?

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Right. Yeah. Um, that's what everyone asked. Oh, we should go see how tall they are.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

That's what I imagine.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So sudden cardiac arrest. And I'll tell you the kind of the first part of the story is on Saturday, June the 5th, I ran my first. I'm a reformed ultra runner. So Saturday 5th, I ran a 50K, and it was my first overnight race. And I came in second place. So like I'm a fit dude. And I have to tell you that to build my ego. That helps my ego.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

Thank you.

Diagnosis And Life After The Hospital

SPEAKER_00 4:39

And then the next Saturday, I'm doing a CrossFit workout with my 16-year-old son Saturday morning. And I and I died. Like I went into ventricular fibrillation. I was out for eight minutes, no pulse, no breath. Shocked with an AED three times. The first two times did not work. And that brought me back to life. Yeah. And when it happened, I woke up and I was like, why is everybody standing around? And are we going to finish the workout? Like, what gives? And I knew something was up. I knew something was happening. I've been having heart issues, not heart issues. I've been having issues when I run and longer runs. And this is June. I live in Charleston, South Carolina. So the heat, the humidity, and during these long runs, I would get winded and I would have to sit down and take breaks. And like, that's not, that's not like me. One of my favorite things is to run in the heat, you know, and I enjoy it. And I went to a cardiologist and said, man, you know, something, something's not right. So just to shorten the story, he said, Hey, look at you. You're in great shape. You're fine. We put you on a stress test. You passed. You're amazing. You're fine. Don't worry about it. So I didn't worry about it. I went back to it. And on this particular Saturday, my son and I were partners working out. He was 16 at the time. And for any of your listeners, or if you guys know, like in a high-intensity interval training workout, if you have a partner, a couple of things. One, you worked really close with your partner. So you have to count their reps, they count yours. You have to know when they're tired, when they take a break. So you're really close. You're you can count their breaths almost. So you know what's going on with them. And then another thing is if you get a little bit of an edge on your partner, like if you're in a little bit better shape or you have a movement that's better than them, then you can you could really hurt them exercise wise. So I was burying my son, and it was amazing. And that's like the last time it all ever happened. So I have to I have to put that in there too.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

And then I usually add, I have three boys, and I usually add that the my youngest son is my favorite son. So I was working out with my son that's not my favorite. So we don't have favorites, but my youngest kid is always like, hey, will you say I'm your favorite? Of course. So we were doing wall balls, and I would do 10, and he would do 10, I would do 10, he would do 10. And then all of a sudden, I I felt my heart rate increase in my neck. And it's just like it's just pounding. And I knew that that little episode or whatever was coming on. So I stopped. I'm holding my wall ball and I wait and it'll go away and it just didn't go away. It's like, oof, this is not going away. You know, maybe I should take a knee. So I did, I took a knee and still it didn't go away. I was like, oh my gosh. And so I'm sitting now on two knees, kind of slouched down, holding this ball. And there's a guy that was beside me in the rack lifting, and he put his hand on my shoulder. And I'm one of those people, like I, you know, I don't like I want my space. And as soon as he put his hand on my shoulder, I'm I'm like, man, you know, thinking, I'm scared, I'm vulnerable, don't really know what's happening. Just get your hand off me. And then and then it got worse. And so I was immediately like, whoa, hey, I'm scared, I'm vulnerable, I don't know what's happening. Please don't let me go. Just don't take your hand off me. And then it got worse. It's like, I've got to lie down. So I just kind of rolled over onto the side of my face on the gym floor. And the last thing that I saw was my son's shoes walking towards me. And I was like, I've got to get up. I've got to get up. And it's not like in the movies, you know, the good guy gets shot like 62 times and he's bleeding and he can crawl over to the gun and save the girl. I couldn't move. Like the signal was there, but I had no, it was like I had no hydraulic fluid. And I knew that I had to move and I couldn't. And I was just out. I went out.

The Second Episode And Taste Of Death

SPEAKER_03 9:33

And Jeff, are we talking moments, minutes? Like, was this a 10-minute time frame? Or like, do you know?

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Probably 90 seconds. I would say somewhere between 60 to 90 seconds, this whole thing transpired. Wow. I'll give you the scientific piece is my heart went into ventricular fibrillation. So it just it just quivers. It doesn't beat. So my heart still was was functional, but it wouldn't beat. So that's the sudden cardiac arrest part. Then my heart stopped. So that's the sudden cardiac death part. So the two are are different. And usually mine ends in death.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

And how long ago was this that this happened?

SPEAKER_00 10:15

This was three years ago.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Okay. Okay. And since then?

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Since then. Well, so I have a surprise in the story.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

How about that?

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Buckle up.

unknown 10:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

I'm literally like on the edge of my seat. I'm like, okay, and what is this?

SPEAKER_00 10:33

I woke up. So I woke up and I woke up screaming. That's one of the weirdest things. And I still I can still hear the scream. And I don't know if that's what woke me up or if I woke up and then scream, but the doctors say your body, there's an electrical charge when your body comes back online, or whatever the whatever they called it. But I woke up and the coach was standing over me. And the first thing I noticed, well, one, I was soaking wet. They they covered me in ice. And then I noticed I had this horrible taste in my mouth. Like uh the best way to describe it is like a really, really bad hangover. Like the first time you you get really drunk and you you're sick, and then you have that hangover and that horrible taste. And it was like that. And I couldn't piece the night together from the night before. But I remembered everything that morning. So my first thought was, I must have gotten drunk last night and then showed up at this workout today. So I told the coach, I was like, oh my gosh, I bet I smell like alcohol. I'm so sorry. And he's going, No, it wasn't no, you don't get it. Like paramedics are here. We shocked you. It wasn't alcohol. And then I started kind of coming to and seeing everything that was going on around me, but remember that taste. So when I tell you about that taste, just remember that. So I came to, you know, I've I sat up and I really was thinking, I just fainted, guys. It's not that big of a deal. Let's let's go finish this workout. And I was looking for my son, who wasn't, he was at that point, he wasn't there. He was already gone. So did the ambulance and I was inconvenienced by an ambulance ride. Yeah, I just I didn't want to go. I didn't want to do anything. I was I was fine.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

I was adamant that it was a waste of time, waste of money. Like, what are we doing? What's happening? That's right. Let me finish the workout. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah. So ridiculous, right? And and I had a birthday party to go to. So I I did not need to be bothered with this.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

You don't have time for this type thing.

unknown 12:29

Wow.

Fear, Identity Loss, And Ego

SPEAKER_00 12:30

So go to the hospital on their three days, and they finally diagnose me. And this, you know, there was all these tests. You know, and part of this was the indignity of assuming it was drug use. So there was a lot of, you know, did you use drugs? Did you how much pre-workout did you take? What have you been doing? So there was that. And then they diagnosed me with ARVCs, arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy. So it's genetic and it's a signal. My signal is bad. And it's it's exacerbated with exercise. So in this diagnosis, I was told I could no longer exercise. So that's what was killing me.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Like a healthy heart, the muscle expands and contracts, and then it's it builds it. You know, and that's why they doctors encourage you to exercise. With mine, when the muscle fibers tear or expand, they get infiltrated with fat and scar tissue. So that is what messes up my electrical signal. Got it. And then of course, the more you do that, the worse, the worse it gets. So in the hospital, I got uh defibrillator implanted, and they sent me on my way, and I had you know, this is considered surgery. So I can't do anything strenuous for 30 days. So 30 days goes by, and I did what any smart male athlete would do. I go back to the gym.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

Now I know I spoke, I spoke a little too fast. You could have guessed it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:54

Yeah. Shocking, shocking. Yes. Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Yeah. Uh part in the pun, right?

SPEAKER_04 14:00

Yeah. Oh yeah. That wasn't intentional, I promise.

The Son’s Trauma And Sirens Trigger

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Yeah. So that's another piece. In the eight minutes, here's kind of what happened when I was out is the same thing. You know, they thought that I had had fainted, passed out. You know, it's it's June in Charleston. I'm in a metal building with no AC, and they thought I'd I'd fainted. So they're, you know, they kind of slap you around trying to get you to come to. Then there was an ice machine there at that particular gym. So they go get a bucket of ice and they're putting ice on me to try to cool me down. And then I was fortunate. I was fortunate in a lot of ways, but I was fortunate that the director of safety for our aquarium here in Charleston was there doing a workout. And she thought, you know, maybe we should take a pulse. So took a pulse. I had no pulse, no breath. And then they and so they started doing chest compressions. And then someone said defibrillator. So they had an AED there. They go get the defibrillator, put that on me. And the way that thing works is you have to have some sort of electrical signal for the AED to detect and then shock you into a good rhythm. Well, when it put the defibrillator on me, I had no signal at all. It was nothing. So it just says give compressions. And then it found a signal and it shocked me. And so a couple of things. One, just like the movies, when it shocks you, you raise up off the ground. So my son told me that. And then it also gives an audible flat line, just like on the movies. So my son heard that. And then the, you know, the people at the gym, they're like, oh my gosh, yeah, he's dead. And he heard all of that. And just a little plug about the the CrossFit community in general. What they did next was everybody stood around me and then blocked my son so that he couldn't see what was happening, which I thought was cool. And so and that kept on. So this was about eight minutes. And it would, and it did tried to detect a rhythm again and didn't. So they kept giving chest compressions. Then it found rhythm and shocked me. And the same thing happened. And then the third time is when I came back. So that fills in that gap. And I and people, you know, eight minutes is a really long time to go without oxygen. And then my heart rate registered on the AED is like 386 beats a minute. So it just quivers. So I think that's like what saved me is I it would it would quiver. And then they were doing chest compression. So that would move oxygen through my body. And then I, you know, I'd I think I probably kind of came in and out of breathing throughout this process. That's how my eight minutes in wherever I was was spent.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

Yeah. Do you remember any of that period, that eight minutes?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

No, but I need to make up a really good story to tell. We won't tell anybody.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Wherever you went, whatever you saw, we'll believe it. You just let us know. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

No one would know. I need to make that story. No, it was nothing. It was like it really was like someone turned the lights out and then they came and turned them back on. Nothing. No excitement.

unknown 17:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

And there could be something there that I just don't remember. Maybe I've chosen not to remember. I I'm not interested in investigating it.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

I don't think. Yeah. Absolutely. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Fair enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

So, Jeff, I I still have the the hangover taste in my mouth. Where where does that come back in?

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Yeah. So 30 days, I do what any sane person would do. I go back to the gym. My and my son wanted to see me. He wanted to see me work out. He wanted, he needed that.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

He needed that. Yes.

Choosing How To Live With Risk

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Yeah. So I go back to the gym, and that and the first thing, it happens again. The first thing. Except this time when it happened, I knew that I was dying. Not like I knew I would like spaghetti before I tried it. Yeah. But like I knew, I actively knew. And I had that taste. I started to get faint. And then I had that taste. And I was like, oh, that's the taste of death. I know that taste. And that sent me, that sent that spiral me. It terrified me. I became paralyzed with fear. I went from invincible and the doctors are wrong, and I'll beat this thing to what am I going to do? I can't take a shower. I didn't want to take a shower because I don't want to be in a bathroom alone. I who would find me? I wouldn't drive. I was scared to go up steps because I was scared it was going to happen again. And it was, and the second time was for 46 seconds. Like now with this defibrillator, it tells me, you know, it tracks all the data. And it was 46 seconds. Well, the ICD doesn't shock you until it tracks your heart rate. You have to be in bad rhythm for a minute, and then it spools, and then it shocks you. So it never shocked me. So now I thought it was defective.

SPEAKER_04 18:50

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

I was like, Y'all gave me this, like you bought this at a yard sale and put it in my body. And it doesn't work. Oh my gosh. So that was part of the psychological piece of it, was terrorizing too. But knowing that I actively was dying, then it all became real.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

That put me in a really dark place. Really dark place. And I was angry and I was bitter and exercise had been taken from me. I I wasn't, you know, they told me I couldn't exercise. And I had no idea what I was gonna do.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

It was like stripping away a a a part of who you were, which was those ultra marathons, the the working out, the the things that yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Yeah. And I hope no one ever has to take me to task on this, but when we fall, and I fell pretty hard, when we fall, our ego falls faster and further than we do. And I couldn't let go of my ego. Just pamper everything you just said. I just I couldn't let go. I didn't know it wasn't on purpose. I just couldn't separate the two. I couldn't let go. So it just drug me down with it.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

And your son is there in this moment, the second time it happens, right? The 46 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Is he aware of what's going on?

Practicing Real Gratitude

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Kinda. He says that he knew something was up, but you know, I did what every high performer or entrepreneur or founder or whatever does. I said I was fine.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Oh no, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just fine. Yeah, that's what we do.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

Yeah. We're all fine.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

As a side note, I will tell you that in the in that instant, like you know, people always talk about when you die, you know, and and I've heard people say, Oh, hell is dying and meeting the person you could have become, or hell is dying and seeing the things you could have accomplished. Or when you die, you think about the things that you could have created or could have made or who you could have been. In those 46 seconds, I didn't think about or care about any of that. There was a girl next to me. The coach was there. I just wanted to touch her. I just wanted to touch her arm. I wanted to connect with people. I wanted to turn around and hug my son.

SPEAKER_04 21:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

But I couldn't. I could because then I would be admitting I was scared. I wouldn't be in control. I wouldn't have it all together. But for those 46 seconds, I denied myself that. Like that last little bit of life that I had and I denied like the ultimate success as a human connection.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Connection. Yeah. Wow. Wow. And Jeff, have you and your your favorite son had opportunities to talk about this? Like just the experience that that he's witnessed twice now. And just the emotional piece and the connection, just in terms of y'all's relationship, what does that look like? And that that conversation look like.

SPEAKER_04 21:41

This isn't the favorite son. This was the middle son. This is right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Favorite son got left. Okay. Sorry. It wasn't. There we go. Sorry. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

It's all right.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

I missed that piece. Yes. I'm back.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Yeah. Actually, that's a great question. So we went through life for the next six months or so. Are you okay? Yeah. Good. Do you want to talk about what happened? No. You good? Good. So uh um, and this is just like some experience share for your audience. I knew he was not okay, but I wasn't willing to ask the question. I didn't want to hear that my son was broken and I couldn't fix him. I didn't want to hear that there was work that needed to be done on him while I was still trying to heal myself. Which, which I, you know, regrets a strong word, but I I wish I would have done something different sooner. Ultimately I did. But yeah, it took it took another episode for that to come about.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

Okay, so let's talk about the next episode.

Rewiring The Brain And Closing

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Yeah. So the next episode, so that went on for about six months. You good? Yep. I'm good. And then and me dancing around, not exercising and kind of giving up and trying to figure out what I was going to do. And he was wrestling at the time. So we had a an out-of-state wrestling meet that he and I went to. And in this, in this match, it was his match with another kid, the kid got his arm broken. And it was it's not like, oh, you know, they were wrestling, he broke his arm. It was total accident. He just got turned funny and they rolled over and it broke his arm. Well, it was a hyperextension. So it looked horrible. And my son, who's like a loving, caring, soft kid, just lost it. And so he saw the kid's arm and he started screaming, and he just drops to the mat and he was banging his head on the mat. And I had to come out of the stands and grab my son. So I grab him and I'm trying to get him to just calm down and get it together. And I turned him around and I was like, Cash, Cash, he's going to be okay. Hey, can you hear me? And he was looking straight through me. And finally just grabbed him. I said, Cash, do you trust me? Do you trust me? And I was trying to get his eyes to meet my eyes. And he finally just looked at me and said, Dad, I can't hear the sirens. I was like, Oh, we have a problem.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

And that's what it was. And I had to make that connection and walk him back through. This was obviously, you know, a couple days later, but I had to walk him back through everything. Hey, tell me about that. Tell me about the sirens. What do they mean to you? I didn't know. He had been carrying this for six months that every time he heard sirens, he didn't know if they were coming to get me, if he wasn't with me. But that's something I I hope that someone takes from this that I could have, I could have done something sooner. I could have asked a better question that I was afraid to ask.

unknown 24:34

Right.

SPEAKER_04 24:35

Well, but you were also in the muck itself. I mean, you were going through the same thing. So for you to have missed it is is probably pretty understandable.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Yeah. And and thank you. And I do try to give myself that same brace also. But you know, we beat ourselves up better than anyone else.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Oh, you've thought we do.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

We're great at first.

unknown 24:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

Should have done more, known better, all the things, right? It's all of the shooting on ourselves that we should have whatever feels like. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Wow. Wow. Okay. Well, I think in in having that moment to at least like recognize it, that's that pivotal moment, right? That's the moment that you'll remember is there on the map. Like, unfortunately, it was going through this experience, but it brought you to this point where you could actually have that heartfelt conversation, that honest and transparent conversation with one another. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's funny. Like I've thought it over and over. And it's funny that that was the that was the catalyst for that, for resurrecting that trauma. I guess he knew that an ambulance was coming. Whereas in in most circumstances, you'll start hearing it. You know, you don't know that it's coming.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

Yeah. Exactly. I think that's the thing with triggers, is that you never know what it is and when it can pop up. You don't know what they all are and and what what it'll bring up for you. Goodness. But that was not, was that the episode that you had, or are you in good health and and and staying away from the gym per doctor's orders?

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Oh wow. Yeah, you're gonna make me really expose myself here.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

Um we should just send this to your cardiologist and let them know.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

So I I had to figure it out. You know, I I had a choice. Like I could truly, I had a choice. I could die living or live dying. And what I mean by that, like I it was I had permission to just sit on the couch. So I could die living on the couch, or I could live dying on the couch, you know, just sitting on the couch. And I chose to to die living. I was like, I've got I I've got to do something because you have these things in life that you enjoy and you and you connect with people doing them and you share. And then you're like, well, why am I living? You know what? So I had some real choices to make. And when I tell my story, people do say, and and you may have thought it, you know, like, wow, you must be so grateful, or wow, you probably look at life differently. And it like for a good lifetime movie, you might think, Oh my gosh, you've had two chances, two additional chances at life. And you think that I would that I would hit my knees praying every morning and crying with gratitude. But I was so angry and so bitter and such a victim that that was taken from me and my identity was taken from me, and uh everything, me, me, me, me, me, that I could not find gratitude. And then that sent me into depression because I thought, Jeff, you must be the worst human in the world. You just had uh a miracle and you're bitter. You're such a piece of crap. And that's the story I told myself. And I couldn't get out of the loop. And I do know people don't care what happens to you. And I don't mean that ugly. Like you know, you know, they want to empathize, but they can't get where you are. But I know for certain that people care how you respond. And my kids were watching, and I had I had to respond. So I started so simple. I was like, I have I've got to figure this out because I was I was, you know, it's cliche. People say life is short, but life for me got really, really long for a while. And I had to do something about it. And and I don't know if life is short, but I do know that death is real. Like death is real. I I now know that. So I had to start simple. I and I never knew that I had an issue with gratitude. Like gratitude is just, yeah, I'm grateful. Of course I'm grateful. You know, I just ate and I said a prayer and thank God for the food or whatever it is. But I I looked at gratitude like this thing, like, you know, I'm so grateful that the cat was in the tree 100 feet up, and I climbed the tree with no shoes, and a storm came and lightning struck me, and I didn't die. And I'm grateful that I fell on this pot of gold. Like it had to be this big, huge thing. And I just was like, you know, I'm grateful that I have that I have glasses. I'm grateful that that I that I could take a walk with my dog. And it felt so silly, even to me, even internally. But then I started realizing, okay, okay, well, if I'm grateful for this pen, then that's what's taking up the real estate in my head. And I can't share that real estate with being bitter about not running. And I know that like most humans with a little bit of sense know that, but I just didn't know. I just intellectually I could have told you, well, yeah, that sounds right. I just never experienced it. I just didn't know it.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

I don't think that people truly think about that, that they cannot coexist at the same time, right? When you're in that place of true gratitude and appreciation for everything, big and small, it is hard for that cynicism, the skepticism, all the doubt, whatever it is, to also have a presence or even own real estate, like you said, in your in in that space.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Yeah. That was so real to me. Like I even, and it's funny, Natalie, because that because I would fight in my mind with that. It's so, it's so crazy to think about. And one thing that I do now is I will tell myself, I tell myself how good my life is. And like, you know, when something's happening, when I don't know, like recent this summer, I was going, I was gonna take a trip, uh, boat trip on the weekend. And as soon as, like I was probably, I don't know, 10 minutes from the ramp, and my motor went out. You know, and it's new boat. So then, you know, you're bitter, like, oh my god, now I've got this and this, this, this. It's like, dude, your life is so good. Your life is so good. Yeah, but your life is good, and they'll fight. And yeah, it's just it's funny how the mind, how the mind works.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

Well, we've got the negativity bias, and our brain just will will seek out the negative. And the more you focus on it, the more it seeks it out because it's you know, it causes clarity. It makes you, oh, yeah, it's negative, negative, negative. So yeah. So it's rewriting, we're reprogramming our brain to to look at the gratitude before we look at the the negative.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Yes, and it's it's harder than it. Hard work.

unknown 31:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Yeah. You wouldn't think it's it's ongoing. You don't flip a switch and it's like, oh no, I'm grateful for everything, and I never have that negative skepticism that pops in. It doesn't happen, right? Like it's uh why did I stub my toe? That sucked, and you know, it's like but it should happen. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas to fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes, and of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.