The perspective shift that changed my sister's LIFE

As a business owner, it's totally normal to feel frustrated with client interactions... Next time you get a negative comment, refund request or unpleasant sales call, try this powerful technique for reframing negative thoughts and stories we tell ourselves. 

By shifting your mindset, you can lower stress, feel more fulfillment by your business and client relationships... and ideally have a laugh instead of an existential spiral.

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takeaways

• The stories we tell ourselves can significantly impact our emotions.
• Reframing negative thoughts can lead to a more positive outlook and a better business owner mindset.
• It's normal to feel frustrated with client interactions; how you respond matters most.
• Engagement on social media can fluctuate; it's important to not take it personally.
• A tip for your planning your next promotion on social media
• Refund requests are a natural part of scaling a business, and a reframe so you don't get so upset about them.
• Creating content is easier when we remove the pressure of perfection.
• We often make assumptions about others' actions without knowing their circumstances.
• Finding humour in frustrating situations helps alleviate stress.

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Music by Jordan Wood

Hosted by Jenna Harding (Warriner), Creator of Magic Marketing Machine

Transcript

Jenna Harding (00:08.83)
I told my sister this, she said it literally changed her life and insisted I make a podcast episode about it so that we could share it with the world. That's how powerful she found this little bit of advice that I actually learned off of a TikTok video. So if you want to honestly love your life more, get less stressed out at work, not be upset over unsubscribes and refund requests,

Jenna Harding (00:40.75)
just generally spend less time angry and more time fulfilled, hopefully this will help you get there.

Jenna Harding (01:05.486)
So my sister is a business owner and

Jenna Harding (01:12.302)
So my sister is a business owner and she called me frustrated at a client. It happens. Actually, this was a lead. Someone was in the process of buying from her and she got really frustrated. And I'm going to tell you like a similar story because I don't want to out her without her permission for the thing that was pissing her off. So let's talk about it as if it were.

Jenna Harding (02:05.115)
Are you still recording? Okay. Margaret, the lactation consultant. right. Margaret gets a call. Margaret gets a call from a potential client and the client is saying, Hey, I want to book with you, but only if you

Jenna Harding (02:28.187)
I have thought this out.

Jenna Harding (03:00.719)
Mallory, was, I just need to think this over a second.

Jenna Harding (03:47.451)
We're going to keep it really simple. I want to work with you, but only if you are open on Mondays and Margaret is not open on Mondays. Actually, it's the only day that she's not open. And so she immediately kind of gets a little bit miffed. She's like, well,

She was firstly, she was excited about the potential of having this new client. And then the client says this thing that is so silly to her. Like, why would you not choose me just because I'm not open on Mondays? Now she's second guessing her boundary and she's like, what is with this person? They liked me enough to call, but not enough for them to rearrange their schedule. have so much freaking availability. All right. So

Markets telling herself a bunch of stories in this moment and she's like I said, she's questioning her boundaries She's like feeling lesser. This is a fucking horrible example. my god. Maybe I just told my story

Jenna Harding (05:05.871)
I would just love it if nobody could hear me. I feel like I could go on camera so much better if nobody were listening. I'm starting to work with a podcast manager, so I'm like filming myself and I know that my husband's upstairs and I know that he can hear me and suddenly I'm incapable. I have over a hundred podcast episodes recorded, but nope, I'm now incapable of recording anything because I know someone's listening and I bet that happens to you when you go to record content, right?

Jenna Harding (05:39.471)
I think one of the best tips that I can give you for helping you make more Instagram content is go to great lengths to make sure that no one can hear you recording it. And then while you're recording it, remind yourself, you can throw this away if you want to. No one else will ever see it. Have you ever like stubbed your toe and apologized to the couch? It's giving that.

Jenna Harding (06:38.851)
Okay, I have an example. right, so.

Margaret gets a call from someone and they say I would love to work with you, but not unless I would love to work with you. Where are you located? Margaret says the north end of the city and the person goes, Ooh, no, I am not going to the north end. Nevermind. Margaret gets off the phone. She's pissed. She's like, are like, how judgmental of them? it because the north end of the city has like

Is it because the north end of the city has like a certain type of person that she doesn't like? Does she think that I'm a certain kind of person because I live in the north end of the city? How judgmental my family lives in the north side of the city. I picked this specifically for my business so that I could serve people and have like close highway access. And I like intentionally chose this location. And now someone is telling me that it is a bad, stupid location. Like Margaret is now spiraling and

Whatever your situation is, these things happen to us all the time, right? The long and the short of it is someone turns us down in some way, and then we make up a story about why they did it. But we need to remember that we are making up that story. All these tales we tell ourselves, these webs we weave,

We are making it up even if they feel very true to you in the moment. In that moment, while Margaret is stressed,

Jenna Harding (08:10.401)
She would swear to you it's because she lives next to a hospital and this person is a hate-fueled person who doesn't want to have to In that moment margaret would swear to you She knows exactly why this person doesn't want to come to the north end of the city And she's gonna let herself get riled up and she's gonna argue to you  argue to herself argue to her friends on what this person meant when they said that and it's gonna feel really really true

especially in the moment when those emotions are high. But you and I can tell.

that Margaret is making up that story. She has no evidence on what the deal was with this person who didn't want to come. Maybe this person got in a car accident last time they drove to the north end of the city and now they're scared. Maybe their ex boyfriend lives in the north end of the city and they just do not want to risk running into him. Maybe they don't have enough money for gas to get out there. They have enough money for this appointment and that's all the money they have. They don't have enough gas to get all the way across the city. Maybe.

Jenna Harding (09:24.153)
Maybe they have very limited availability and they are only free on Mondays and they're literally not going to be able to get their kids from pickup and then get all the way to the North side. It's there's just not time. We don't know. So the thing I told my sister in this moment is I reminded her, Hey, you're making up a sour story. You're making up a story that doesn't serve you. And I

Jenna Harding (09:58.775)
And may I offer?

And might I suggest we make up a story that makes you feel better since you're making it up anyway. And this is what I had heard on this TikTok. And I'm sorry, it was so long ago. I don't know where the TikTok went or where it came from or whatever, but she was talking about like, just make up a story that serves you because you're making one up anyway. So I told Mallory, my sister in this moment, not Marker or back to Mallory, that's my sister. I don't know if I said her name, but now you know. So I told her in this moment, I'm like, maybe the guy. I just like, maybe this guy that called you,

that she was upset at, I told this huge elaborate story and in it we like really empathize with him. We're like, and then his mother died and in it we like really empathize with him. I'm like, and then his friends are mad at him and it's really his friend and he doesn't even want to be on the call with you, but he was the guy that was deemed the guy that had to call and had to break this news. And he's embarrassed to even be asking you these questions. Like, and it made us both, we got excited because the story became fun. And also we discovered,

My story made just as much sense as hers except on the other side of it We felt good instead of being upset at the tail, you know

Jenna Harding (11:20.667)
Essentially we are reframing the things that bug us. I've actually caught myself lately doing a lot of really positive reframes. Let me tell you one. Let me tell you one that came to me. Okay. I just finished a big promotion for freebie in a weekend. Maybe you're coming. If you're coming, I can't wait to hang out with you June 21st and 22nd. So during this promotion, I know, and I teach people that your sales posts are likely going to get the fewest amount of like views.

and engagements of all of your content. That's totally normal. It's to be expected. I've taught it to now over a thousand people that your sales content gets fewer clicks and that's okay. Because the goal of sales content is to sell. So that's our lesson. So.

Whilst here's a pro tip for you, whilst you are in a promotional period, it's very smart to post some fun stuff as well to get your engagement up. like you might want to repost some old stuff that did well. You might just want to post some fun, like growth content, engagement, attracting content, silly stuff, like things amongst your sales. So you're during a promo, you're not only selling, but you also have this like other stuff that's going to get you more clicks and more views and stuff. So I did that during my promo because that's

That's what I teach. And my content that I posted was old stuff that did well before. So I scheduled it to go out now. It went out during the promo, some really like stuff that I know typically performs really well.

It's all like it's all right on track. I'm following my own strategy. Like that's exactly what you're supposed to do. But then I looked at my numbers and I thought, my goodness. poor me. My posts that were reposts did better than all my other content. And it's all my old reposts that I posted before. Was I better before? Am I losing my touch? Like these are all the things that I'm telling myself. Am I not fun anymore?

Jenna Harding (13:25.149)
Because like now it's like all the stuff I posted last year is performing well does that mean that I'm  no good like Jenna get it together and I'm sharing this because I don't know like I think it's important to know that we all go through these things sometimes when I share moments of

you know, questioning myself like that. People seem to really be glad to hear that I'm not perfect. For me, it's loud and clear. I know I'm not perfect, but anyway, so I found myself having these thoughts and then I caught them. That's step number one. You want to catch yourself when you're thinking those things. And I thought, Hey, hang on a second.

I've got a couple posts up right now that got tons and tons of views that took me zero work because 2024 Jenna made these posts. She thought of them. She recorded them. All I had to do was repost something old. How about instead of like going into an existential crisis here, I reframe this thought and be thankful and excited that I did practically no work in the present moment to get

huge views and in front of like 40,000 people. Huh? How about that? That is what we call a reframe. I just snapped. I don't know if you could hear it, but snaps for reframes.

Jenna Harding (14:47.493)
Do this with your unsubscribes. Do this with your unfollows. Do this with your refund requests. You wanna know something awesome about refund requests? The more sales you make, the more refund requests you get. So as you scale up and as you sell more and start serving more people, you will get more refunds. So if you're getting those now,

you probably hit a new tier. If you're getting refunds, if you sold three things and all three people are refunded, I'm to be honest with you, there's probably a problem with that product. But if you're scaling up and you're serving more people and then you're having more refunds than you've ever dealt with before, while also serving more people than you've ever served before, that's normal. So how about we give ourselves a little pat on the back?

Jenna Harding (15:42.095)
Let's reframe that dead in its tracks. Another fun one is how about that car behind you that's tailing you and I won't lay off and you're thinking about brake checking. Maybe he has to poo. Maybe he has to poo and he is racing to get home and poo and you're going to argue with me in the moment. You're going to be like, no, Jenna, I can see him. That guy's a, you know what? I know his type. Do you?

You're making up that story. My story makes you laugh. Your story makes you more angry at him.

Jenna Harding (16:18.427)
Let's use mine instead. He's gotta poo.

Jenna Harding (16:30.587)
Speaking of stories, shamelessly,

I have to remind you that if you would like to know what stories to post every day for a week, then you would love Strategic Stories, the five day Instagram challenge. And you can find the link to it in the description of this episode where I will give you, it's one of our like most popular mini courses, think. Super easy, super low priced, give you a little video and a prompt every day so that you know that your stories are being super strategic. People have told me they love it because it now gives them

framework that they just reuse every week, which is awesome.

You can find that below this episode.

Jenna Harding (17:24.117)
And one more thing, if you're listening on Spotify, there's now a feature where you can leave a comment. If you feel like telling me about a reframe that you have made or like giving me a thought and you want me to reframe it, like let's have fun in that comment section. Why not feel free to comment that and we can chat it out there. Or if you just want to say hi, I do read all of those comments.

Jenna Harding (17:54.263)
That's all for now loves. That's all for now loves. We'll talk to you soon.