You Can Be Happier!

In this episode, I talk about how a life that looks perfect on the outside can still feel empty, and how I am learning to create real happiness from the inside out.

Over the past year, I’ve gone through a lot: becoming single, starting a new job, and buying my first horse. Through it all, I realized that checking off boxes, like the job, the relationship, the busy social life, didn’t actually make me happy.

I share what helped me reset: simple practices like yoga, meditation, and box breathing, plus a few mindset shifts that made a huge difference. If your life looks good but doesn’t feel good, this episode is for you! 

Thank you for being here! 

Xx,

Shy ♡  

Transcript

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Hello and welcome back to Shy Space. I'm giving you a nice closeup front and center introduction, POV, because I am so excited to be here. And I also want you to see that I'm using my camera continuity ability through my phone. So we love that we are leveling up here at Shy Space. And if you watched my last episode, you saw that we've made a change with some of the equipment and just the actual space. I'm just filming on my bed now. I just wanted to give a minute for everybody to take a look at the art that's hanging on the wall, and if you're watching, and excuse me, if you're listening and not watching, it's just a picture of a horse, so you're not missing anything and it's probably not very surprising. Anyways, welcome back to Shy Space. My name is Shy. I'm the host of this podcast. If you forgot about me, that's fine. I forgot about me. You probably did because once again, it's been months since I've been here. I'm like that shitty uncle. God, even that shitty dad or boyfriend that just keeps disappearing and coming back and just playing that game. So I do apologize and I am gonna get into the actual honest truth about why that has been the case because there's been a lot of different things going on in my life over the past two years since I started the show that have really played a role in terms of like, why it's been difficult for me to keep momentum going. And so I wanna talk about that because like I said I haven't talked about that ever and it's important. So anyways I appreciate you guys being with here with me. And really as you can see from the title of today's episode, like I just wanna talk a lot about happiness and like how you can really extract the most happiness from your life. Through, like sharing some experiences that I have endured over the past couple years and what it's taught me so that you don't have to learn it the hard way like I do because I'm such a hardheaded individual and I I've always been like that person or that kid that like needs to put their hand on the stove to understand that it's hot and it's gonna burn you like. Somebody can't just tell me, Hey, Shyanne, you're gonna burn your hand on that stove. I genuinely need to touch the stove. And I'm sure that there's a lot of other people out there that are like that. So I'm hoping that this can help you in one way or another. If you're struggling in your job, your personal relationships familial friendship, romantic, whatever it may be. I do think that this episode can be really helpful for you to figure out like where the pieces are missing and how you can put them back together. By your own self. Because really at the end of the day, we are the only person thing that we have in this world that we can count on. And everything that we have and need, or excuse me, need to, to have is already within us. It's really just about tapping into that and understanding that, and that's what we. All about here in my household and within this community at Shy Space. I just felt like I needed to state that because what is this show even about anymore? It's just been the random chaos of me, like talking about things in my life and then, calling it a show, but it's not one. And like I said, we're gonna get into that, but I just wanna first say that obviously, like everybody wants to be happy, but I don't think that most people really know or understand what that feels like. And the reason that I say that is because it's such a first of all, it's such a subjective thing, and it's also just. It's so like almost unattainable in terms of the thing that everybody's always chasing and talking about. It's I just wanna be happy. I just wanna be happy. I want this because it'll bring me happiness. That's why anyone does anything or goes after anything is because they're seeking happiness. So I think a lot of our problems is that like we actually genuinely don't know what it is that makes us happy. And so we're chasing this never ending. Thing or never. We're on a never ending chase with this thing that is genuinely going to outrun us until we're freaking dead, which is so not something that I'm okay with living, embodying, teaching, whatever you want to focus on. I am not okay with that. A big thing that I like, really wanna talk about today is just the fact that I genuinely thought that I was living my dream life and was telling everybody that because I believed it. I wasn't living a lie on purpose or like intending to live any types of lies. I just genuinely did not have the awareness at the time to understand that. Just because I had a good job and I was in a relationship and I had a busy social calendar and I was like, meeting these milestones in life didn't actually mean that I was happy. And yeah, it's just interesting because like I feel if you look at just the past, if you're just a podcast watcher, like if you only know me through my podcast and you don't know me on a personal level, then you look at my past two episodes and you're like, okay, you were in a relationship and then. You like thought that was your person and then you guys broke up. And even if you do know me on a personal level, this is probably what you're thinking too. 'cause this is like the chapters you had that and then you got into a new relationship. You moved in with him, you're like, everything's great, whatever. And then that didn't work out either. So it's it's just funny because. I think if you can so easily stamp a sticker on something and be like, this is it. This is the one, this is the job, this is the house, this is the whatever. And sometimes that's actually just not it. And that's okay because we have a long life that we're hopefully get to live. And it'd be boring if like by the time you were 28, you just got all of the things that you wanted to make you happy, and then it was just like the rest of your life was just. Enjoying those happy things and obviously seeking out new ones to reach. But then again, it's like the never ending hamster wheel. Yeah, just very interesting. So again, like whether or not you know me on a personal level, you can take one look at my social media on any of the accounts that I have specifically on TikTok, and you can see me talking about like the truth about my relationship and what I actually went through and how it was just absolutely not what I thought it was. And also, realized later on that I was feeding into that delusion in one way or another, which is also really weird to think about and talk it out, talk about. But either way, at the end of the day, like I was just running on autopilot. I was fine. But I wasn't fulfilled. And this goes for both big areas of my life. So the job that I was in and the relationship that I was in, I moved in with my previous partner and, I think a lot of challenges come with that because it's a lot more difficult to separate yourself from somebody when you're living together, obviously. And so I think for a long time I just smacked that sticker on over and over because it was the easier thing to do. And I just had almost a little bit of that toxic positivity where it's oh, there's so much good over here and there's so many amazing things that he does and that I feel in this relationship and in this space. So I really just need to be focusing on that and not worrying about these things that are problematic, which is just not true. And then same thing with the job that I was in, which you guys are gonna find this really interesting because every single person I tell this story to like genuinely is flabbergasted. And I still to this day am slightly flabbergasted at the fact that I let that, I've let so many people in my life gaslight me, first of all. But second of all, that I let this just pass on by and didn't even question it. So anyways I'm honestly like, can't believe I'm gonna talk about this because this is this makes me nervous. But at the end of the day, like I'm not here to live a lie. I'm not here to cater to anyone's feelings and. I think that how this was handled was really inappropriate. But to make a long story short, I was working in a role with a boss who was not supportive of this show at all. And I, like I said, did not even question it when it came up in conversation at work. I just genuinely was like, oh my gosh, like I'm doing something wrong. And. I need to stop and I need to fix that. I just ultimately let it like fully integrate into my system and my belief and that's horrible. Because I should not have done that. And. It's just really crazy to think about basically the person's perspective was just that it was very confusing and it was unclear whether or not I was actually an employee at this organization or I was a podcaster. And I, I just found that to be very strange. But again, like I'm a young adult. I'm learning, I'm trusting the person that I report to, and I'm just gonna. Suck it up, and so I literally stopped doing the show completely because of that. And I never talked about that in my episode that I released in March because I was still employed there. But I was thinking about leaving and my boss obviously didn't know this at the time, but I was just really unhappy and I was considering leaving. And so I just wanted to do the podcast to see how it felt and also to see if. There would be any backlash to be completely honest and there wasn't, but I was one foot out the door at that point anyways, I think because I was just so unhappy. And again, I'm sorry if anybody from my former organization is listening to this and feels blindsided, but this is just me speaking to my experience. Like I'm not speaking for anyone else. This is just my experience that I had at the organization. And, it just wasn't. That wasn't pleasant for me. And so when I was then introduced to a potential new role where I was sought out specifically because of the name that I had made for myself, like not just in the space that I'm in, but just in the world. Like the fact that I was going out on a limb and like building a personal brand and doing a podcast was something that they were really impressed by and they really loved and. I just feel like I need to share this story because if there's anybody that's in a situation like that where they're trying to like, build a name for themselves or build a side hustle, as long as it doesn't interfere with what you're doing, and it like, in a corporate perspective or whatever you wanna call it as long as you're not like stealing clients or competing with the business that you work at or whatever and you're being respectful and you're showing up. Positively. Like I genuinely just don't understand what the problem is. And again, I let somebody else determine that for me and install that belief within me. And that's something that I had to learn from. And I wish that I had stuck up for myself in that moment. And I think I did a little bit, but. I was too scared to say that I was gonna keep doing the show, so I stopped. And that's where I like regret my approach and would recommend that anybody who's in a similar situation be like, okay, I know that there's a billion other organizations out there that have this forward progressive mindset that you are not embodying, which is fine, but I'm going to, go be employed there if this is a problem. That's what I should have said. I should have stuck up for myself, for my values, for my morals, and also like my aspirations and my dreams. If I wanna do a podcast, I'm gonna do a podcast. And. That's that. I don't really know what else to tell you. So anyways, luckily my former boyfriend never had any problems with my podcast. He was very supportive of it, like extremely, even though I wasn't really doing it, he wanted me to get back into it. However, he was making me so miserable that I didn't have the energy to do it. That combined with being told not to do it There was no hope for me this past year, I would say, but that's why I wanted to share that story because one, I think it's extremely valuable for anybody who could be potentially going through something similar. And then also just trying to explain I swear to God, I'm actually very passionate about this and I really want to do something with this podcast like. It's just been a, it's been a tough one for me. Everything happens for a reason and I've learned a lot from that, but I'm getting off on a tangent here, which I always do, so I apologize. So really the point of like me sharing all of that is because in this episode I'm trying to talk about why things happen, how to spot when things are wrong and really highlight and identify how you feel when something is wrong so that you can anchor that and know that and trust yourself. And then how to actually build a life that feels good from the inside out, because that's ultimately what matters. Sorry, I had to turn my air conditioning off 'cause I'm pretty sure that'll mess with. This very delicate microphone that I'm using. So let's talk about how to live your best life from the inside out. So first I wanna talk about our nervous systems. Just really briefly, we can dive into this deeper on another episode 'cause I haven't prepped any notes on this. But just talking about living in fight or flight, living in rest or digest and how we can make sure that we're maintaining a healthy balance between the two because obviously fight or flight is there for a reason. It does keep us safe, it does keep us protected. But when you're in it long term, it's actually detrimental to your health and that is what creates disease and manifests as depression, anxiety, and all those things. I have been in a, like unlearning and rewiring period in my life the past couple months since my breakup because I've had to rewire just trusting myself and trusting people after the abuse that I endured from that. And then also just feeling safe like in my home essentially. And then I also have a lot of weird thought patterns of feeling like I'm doing something wrong at work and that I'm in trouble at work because of some of the situations that happened with another employer of mine. Sorry, I'm just like getting so anxious 'cause I really hate talking about this stuff. I'm like scared right now that I'm gonna get in trouble for talking about this. And it's crazy 'cause it's like I'm just talking about an experience that I had. I'm not even really doing anything wrong. I don't even think that I am doing anything wrong, but there's something inside of me right now that is getting scared and feeling like I am just wanna call that out so that you guys don't think that you're just looking at superwoman here, because this is actually really scary. But it's worth it. So talking about just those two things is, I just wanted to highlight that because I feel like a lot of us don't realize that we're living in fight or flight. If you're not taught it or you don't have exposure to like mental health and psychological related education and tools, then you might not know that, if you struggle with things like sleep or anxiety or like clenching your jaw or having a lot of like muscular pain, like there's a really good chance that you are living in fight or flight to some degree and there's parts of your body that are not rested. And two, three things actually that I would recommend for anyone who's processing trauma processing grief or just trying to process life in general, and they feel like they need tools to help them do that. I literally swear on my entire life, the three things that save me on a daily basis, yearly basis, decade basis. These three tools. Have been everything for me this past six weeks since I kicked my ex out, which by the way, he was doing the nasty, like emotional cheating and probably real cheating as well. So just for anyone who's not caught up. So it was obviously really traumatic and yoga, breath work, and meditation are the three things that like, genuinely saved my life on the days that I woke up and I was immediately in fight or flight and having the nightmares and can't sleep and just everything feels terrifying. Specifically when I talk about breath work, I'm talking about box breathing. If you're unfamiliar with box breathing, it's they do it in yoga a lot. It's also used like in. Like combat training I think, or something crazy like that. But it's just a box of four is the way to think about it. So for inhale, or like a four count inhale hold for four counts. Exhale for four counts, pause for four counts. Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts. Exhale repeat. I swear to God, like they must put some type of like crack cocaine in. In the nervous system release that happens when you do box breathing, whatever that, like neurotransmitter or whatever the fuck, what am I even saying? Whatever that brain thing is. What are they called? Like oxytocin the chemicals. Oh my God. Am I okay? I just called them neurotransmitters like I'm. I'm doing too much. The chemicals in your brain that are released when you do box breathing, it's genuinely I swear to God it's equivalent to crack cocaine because or like the opposite I guess because it just makes me, you feel so good. It's just calming me down just thinking about it. Literally, just knowing that I can use that and this is a random side story that I'll just tell really quickly of a tangent, but I bought a horse recently and it's my first horse that I've owned, and that's a lot of responsibility. It can be quite scary, and I've literally had to find myself like using the box breathing technique while I'm at the barn or while I'm riding my horse because you're, you like, I just literally freeze up. My entire body freezes up and I stop breathing and it's like. Totally chaotic. Yeah, I just, I really hope that helps someone too, because I swear like I'm, this is me, like you can't see me. I'm praying, praising to box breathing, like I would give everything to it. That I feel like for me is how I root to living my best life. That is the way that I've been able to find this is what feels good and this is what feels good, and like this is genuinely what I want and this is what I get excited about. Because when I can bring myself to that calm state. I can feel what it's like to be in that best life by envisioning it and like it really becomes clear what I need. And so when I'm in that chaotic, like I don't know what I wanna do. Sometimes I'll get so flustered about just like planning my day I'm like single again. I have the weekend to myself maybe. And it's just like I have no plans and I get so overwhelmed with all the things that I wanna do or I feel like I need to do and feel like I have to do that. I just shut down and. Can't make a step forward. And so then I'll rot on TikTok all day. I know somebody out there pro probably can relate to this. I think this might be like a DH ADHD esque, but for me it just feels more like anxiety. But either way, when something like that happens, I'm usually like, okay, I need to meditate and figure out. Like what I wanna do, or I need to do box breathing just to reset myself. Or if I literally am just like, I don't know what the fuck to do with my day or with myself because I'm so chaos, I'll go to yoga if I can, because usually I'll walk outta yoga feeling like a new person, which is amazing. And there's no shame in going to yoga and just sitting in child's pose for a fourth of the class. I will do that on days where I really just need to be surrounded by people like collective breathing, community movement, like feeling that energy and that love from the other yogis and the teacher, sorry I'm cringe, but like you genuinely feel it's not the same as just whipping out your yoga mat at home or even going to the gym in your apartment building, like the act of going to a place where you share a collective understanding and a collective appreciation for the practice of yoga is really good for the soul. I know that people listening are gonna be able to correlate that to something else in their lives. Might not be yoga, it could be riding horses, it could be motorcycles, riding bikes, running. You name it. There's a million things that people love to do that they like chase that high and that happiness from get out there and do it. But it's something like, I feel like interesting to think about too is why does our culture sell us this version of happiness that's so exhausting, like being so busy that your calendar makes you wanna vomit when you look at it and being so social that you can never even remember people's names when you're out, because there's so many friends that you barely even know. Of course. And also just trying to be like super impressive. Oh, I have this job, I have this car, I have this amount of money, this house, whatever it may be. It's exhausting. I don't know about you guys, but I am exhausted. I am so exhausted of the overconsumption. I am exhausted of the over doing. I don't even know what to call it, but the act of like always having plans and always doing something like, for example, the people that I look up to from an influencer perspective. Alix Earle for example. I think she's so cool and awesome and I would love to have a similar life to her, but I would never actually be able to live in the life of chaos that she does because she's always traveling and she's always doing something. I don't know how that girl hasn't had a menty bee. I have a menty be when I have three trips that are like spaced out a week from each other. I don't know, maybe there's something deeper that's wrong with me, but I just think that burns you out really quickly. And people are chasing that all the time, and I just don't think that's fulfilling. That's just me. But you're listening to my podcast for a reason. So that's my 2 cents. Something else to note on that too is your highlight reel on Instagram needs to match your inner reality. And if it doesn't, you have a problem. And when I say highlight reel, I don't mean the reels that you keep on your page, for your dog and your boyfriend or whatever, but like the highlights of what you're posting online. If that doesn't match how you feel inside, then something is wrong and. Again, this goes back to the way that I would focus so heavily on the positives in my relationship when I was miserable. It's like that toxic positivity or that toxic mindset of oh, everything's fine. Like just talk about the good things. Post, post, the good things, all that stuff. Yeah, I agree. That should be focused on and appreciated, but if there's not alignment, like actual authentic alignment. Then that's right there a subtle sign that you're not as happy as you think. Another one is constantly chasing like the next thing, the next, weekend activity, the next trip, the next. Purchase, you're gonna make the next whatever, like next job, next milestone at work. That was a big one for me. Like anytime I reached a milestone, it was actually depressing. Like I, it. I felt like no happiness from it, and I was like, okay, something's really wrong here. Specifically, this is so sad to talk about because I feel it now. It's, I have a delayed onset of the happiness from this milestone. But this just goes to show like I was so miserable the last few months of my relationship that I finally fulfilled a dream that I've had for probably 20 more than 20 years. I'm 28 and I can't even remember when this dream came to exist for me, but it is the longest standing childhood dream I've ever had, which was to buy a horse. And I finally got to do it. And I did it right in the midst of being in this horrible place in my relationship. And I actually got the horse literally a week before my ex and I broke up and I was just like. So not happy. And I felt so not fulfilled from what I had just done. And it was so scary because I was like, oh my God, like I'm actually so unhappy that not even this thing that I've wanted my entire life can save me. And at that time too, I was only a week into my new job. So I hadn't really shaken off the cobwebs of how I felt about my last role and the experience that I had there and how it dimmed my light. And then I had this stupid idiot that I was living with that was going behind my back and emotionally cheating on me and having really inappropriate conversations with other girls and also talking bad about me behind my back to other girls and just really being a horrible person and partner. And then I plopped this fricking horse child in the middle of it, and I was just like. I think I'm gonna die. Oh. And then add the new job on top of it. Obviously thinking a new job is gonna help. No girl. There's so much more trauma and like things going on that you need to fricking sort out and yeah, it's really sad because obviously responsibility is really grounding, having a horse specifically, but only if it's something that actually is bringing you joy, not pressure on top of what you're already dealing with. Luckily I got rid of the job that I felt like was not serving me well and then I got rid of the man that wasn't serving me well and now I'm in a much better place. But I also know that there's so much more for me to get to. One of those things being this podcast specifically. Until I start actually hitting my milestones with this podcast, like we're still not done yet. There's still more happiness to be explored and fulfilled because it doesn't just stop with, a boyfriend and a job and whatever it may be. There's just so much more. I feel like honestly the best life isn't even really about stacking achievements either. It's really about feeling aligned, especially when no one's watching. Like specifically when no one's watching. When you're just like at home and you go to sleep at night and everything's good, and you wake up in the morning and everything's good, and you're actually happy. That to me is the true W in life. So just a reminder to, to pay attention to how you feel and, are you posting on social media and that's the highlight of your life is like the posting of it and not actually living it. Yeah if that's how you feel, go to therapy. So I wanna talk about being single again because, again, I know I'm not the only 28-year-old girl out there that's single. I also wanna call out real quickly that I shared a lot about my breakup journey on my TikTok pages. If you're interested in that, you can go stalk those. I have three different accounts and I talk about it like across all three of them. If you want like more tea. information, whatever that's on TikTok. I'm not gonna dive into that right now, but, the one thing that I didn't really talk about on there as much that I feel like is more podcast appropriate or podcast centric is losing that level of stability in my life, like having to kick out the person that I was living with that I thought I was gonna marry. That's obviously a lot, and it really forced me to look at myself and be like, okay, like what actually makes me feel alive? Because you can't outsource your happiness to anyone else. What gets me up in, in the morning, like what makes me excited? Because I actually, at this point, I had no idea. I was just getting up and I was just praying that the day would end as fast as possible, and that's depressing. That's no way to live. At the end of the day change is really uncomfortable, obviously, but what's more uncomfortable is being stuck in a life like that where you are never fulfilled. And usually having a drastic change in your life is usually the one like specific catalyst that cracks us open and forces us to rebuild that happiness intentionally from the ground up. It's almost like shattering the rock and then you find the gem in it, right? The ugly rock on the outside or whatever. I'm not an archeologist by any means, I'm just trying to use metaphors here. But anyways, I feel like that's cheesy, but I wanted to call that out because I literally feel like I had to be broken all the way down in my job, in my personal life with podcast, with everything just broken, stripped down to the core for me to then be like, okay, this is where I'm at. This is where I wanna be, this is what makes me happy. I know how to get there, and I'm sure as hell not gonna depend on anyone else to get there, because that never does you any good, unless it's from a community standpoint. But if you're relying on codependency, that's a different story. The actual formula for being happier, if you wanna find one is understanding that true happiness isn't a big secret. It's actually just small repeated choices that stack. It's not a big secret that, showing up for myself on the yoga mat regularly is gonna make me happy, but when I do it regularly, it does make me happy. And I do realize that compound effect. Same thing with showing up at the barn, when I was in the trenches of my depression and I wanted to skip the barn because I genuinely couldn't even be excited about my new horse. I forced myself to get out and go anyways because I knew that compound effect of getting outta the house, getting into a new routine building my relationship with my horse, getting to know my horse, doing all the things that I was excited about, even if I didn't feel excited in the moment, was going to make me happy somehow some way. And it did. And it's crazy because, it's only been like six weeks now, but I genuinely woke up one day and I just felt better. And I hate saying that because it sounds like it's fake and cliche, but I swear it's not. I was miserable. And then I woke up one day and I just felt better. And then I was waiting for the shoe to drop, the shoe hasn't dropped, and I just keep feeling better and better. We're making progress. We're making traction, things are good. And it's because I was doing those things, like meditating again, forcing myself to go on walks, forcing myself to watch my show that I wanna watch instead of doom scrolling on TikTok. Just all those little things, it's gonna be different for everyone again. But this is just my experience. I also wanna share four mindset shifts that I feel like really helped change a lot of things for me. The first one is to feel first and plan later. So stop making decisions based only on what looks good or sounds smart. Really ask yourself, how do I actually feel when I'm doing this? I feel like that's a really big thing that I ignored a lot in my life. And we could talk about that more in another episode. But just to give a quick overview, it was just ignoring my intuition when I was in my relationship, about big things too and really just letting myself down by ignoring my intuition and not making the decision at that time to walk away or whatever. Same thing, when I had the conversation about the podcast with my employer, that felt so wrong and I just went with what sounded good and what sounded easy and not what actually felt good to me. What sounded good and what sounded easy was to keep working the job that I had been working and not have to find a new one. And what sounded good and easy in my relationship was to keep dating the guy I had been dating and not find a new one. Even though he may or may not have just called me the C word, because who knows why he even called me that. Get him outta here. So yeah, that's the first one. The second one is subtract before you add. So remove commitments people or habits that drain you before you pile on more solutions. So I think this is another thing that I'm really guilty of doing is just trying to fill my cup so much that it overflows beyond. And then I just have a mental crash out and I'm like, I can't do anything. And I have to go back into that freeze or fight or flight 'cause it's actually fight, flight or freeze. But people just typically say fight or flight. So going back to that freeze state is something that happens to me a lot because I'll pile on a bunch of stuff and then I crash. So I don't recommend doing that. I definitely recommend, like I said, centering yourself, assessing, and really analyzing do I feel good in this job? Do I feel good in this hobby? Do I feel good in this friendship? Whatever it may be. Do I even feel good in this apartment? Do I need to change apartments before I can better my life? Who knows? Maybe you do. On that note too, this is super random. Maybe you need to decorate your apartment 'cause that's something that I did not do and I don't know what's wrong with me, but after I did it, it feels so much better. The third one is to anchor your joy. So find two to three things and treat them like non-negotiables in your life and your routine. So for me, obviously that's gonna be like time in nature with London. So whether it's on a walk at the park, at the barn, or just going to the barn, riding, having like honest conversations and being vulnerable. These are non-negotiables for me. So I show up in my vulnerability in a lot of different ways. One of them being on the yoga mat because that shit is really uncomfortable and really talk about being vulnerable when you're in like downward dog. Just find those things and make sure that you prioritize them. And then the last thing would be presence over perfection. So your happiest life will not be Instagram. Perfect. Sorry. Hate to break it to you. And by you, I mean me because I love a good fake happy reel on Instagram. But it will be the moments where you forget to even grab your phone. I know that's cliche. I know. But I actually had to say that because I swear to God, when I'm the happiest nowadays, it is when I'm at the barn and I do not touch my phone. Except to take pictures of Koda but it is so rare that you're gonna get a text back from me while I'm at the barn. I just, I literally do not care. And most of the time I forget for the entire time that I'm there and then at the end I'm like, wait, I need to take some pictures. You are not gonna get a text from me. I'm not checking socials, I'm not doing anything. And I'm usually there for two to three hours too. And like I said, genuinely don't care about texts. If you need something, don't text while I'm at the barn. Don't even text me in general because if you know me, you know I'm not gonna respond. But definitely don't text me when I'm at the barn. So again, I know that was cliche, but I swear to God, those moments where you know, you're just feeling. I don't know, whatever. The takeaway from all four of those pieces of advice that I feel like is the overarching theme is that, again, cliche, but happiness is not a destination. It's actually in some ways, a habit or a skill that you develop and practice every single day by filling your cup and actually showing up in the ways that you need to then have that feeling as a byproduct by getting all those chemicals and neurotransmitters in your brain. That is really all I have for you guys today. I just wanted to keep it short and sweet. Recap, catch up. Really excited about the path moving forward with this show because now that I'm in an environment professionally where this is actually supported, there's just so much more that I wanna do with it and so many more directions that I want to take it. Very excited about that. Remember that if your life looks good but doesn't feel good, that's your cue that you are allowed to rebuild, and maybe it is time to rebuild it, and it's okay to start from the ground up. It's okay to start from zero. You're never too old. You're never too late. There is never a wrong time or a right time to do something if you need to rebuild your life. This is your sign to start now. Start today because you'll regret it if you don't. Don't waste your time. The future version of yourself will thank you and take that from me, the girl who was called the C word two months into her relationship and stayed for an extra eight months to see if maybe things would get better. Don't do that. Okay. That's seriously take it from, again, me, the girl who puts her hand on the stove because she doesn't believe you when you tell her it's gonna burn her. And another thing I wanna share too is a challenge for you guys. This week, if you're listening and it's a new week, or maybe you're wrapping up your week, take a week to notice three moments where you actually feel the happiest, not the ones that you post about, but ones where you actually feel it, like in your core, in your soul. Write it down, whether it's in your notes app or on a post-it, write it down, bring awareness to it, and try to cultivate that feeling again. Keep taking care of yourselves. Be good to yourself. Love yourself, and remember that I'm always here if you need anything and if you're making it to the end of this episode, I love you so much and I appreciate you so much and I'm really excited to talk to you again next week. Yeah, and I actually mean that this time, so love that. Cheers. Bye guys.