Paradigms: Breaking the Mental Chains

In this episode, I dive into the concept of paradigms, also called our mental operating systems, and share how breaking free from old beliefs can transform your life. 

Inspired by Bob Proctor’s teachings and my own journey, I talk about mindset shifts, personal growth, and practical steps to create lasting change. 

If you’re ready to level up and unlock your true potential, this one’s for you! 

Xx,

Shy ♡ 

Transcript

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Shy 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Shy Space where we talk about all things pertaining to mental health and manifestation. My name is Shy. I am the host of this podcast and I am so happy that you are listening to this if you are. So thank you. Very happy to be back this week. We are going to be talking about paradigms and breaking the mental chains that are paradigms. So I'm really excited about this week's episode. We've been talking a lot about money and selling for the past couple weeks, so I thought that it was only appropriate and only really the most natural and helpful I would think for listeners to then shift over into like the actual thought processes that you need to embody and kind of like root yourself in, in order to be a successful individual. So obviously if you are not new to the personal development space, then you know that it's 90% thinking and 10% actions or something like that when it comes to success principles. I'm really excited about this one because the information that I have put together to do the outline for this week's episode is all based off of a like webinar workshop from Bob Proctor and the Proctor Gallagher Institute, that I attended probably like four, some years ago that I haven't really looked at in terms of like regularly reviewing the notes that I took or anything like that because, you know, I really embodied the principles and the teachings across my life and I didn't really need to refer to the document. But I just thought it would be really interesting to go back to the document after having, you know, not really looked at it for several years and using it as inspiration for an episode. And also just to help people and to share this knowledge and education because it's genuinely life changing. This period of time in 2021 was the catalyst and the, the really like pivotal time for my growth when it came to my mindset because I lost my job and I was really frustrated. It was post pandemic and you know, life was just fragile. I'm sure a lot of people can relate, especially if you've worked in tech in the past five years. It really got me down and at this time when I found Bob and I found these like webinars that they were hosting on a monthly basis. They were free, they were a week long, and I was unemployed while I was going to school for my master's, so it was literally the most perfect time. It was such a gift, like from God, spirit, whatever you believe in, and I truly believe that like this information is something that needs to be shared. And sneak peek of something that I've been working on too that I haven't really said anything about is I'm actually putting together some like material to be leveraged that I would love to share with people, that you can buy. So, super excited about that. We're gonna be expanding Shy Space and the Shy Space Shop from just the couple pieces of merchandise that we have into some online course material. And then I also have a lot of ideas for really fun merch that is actually just like, has really nothing to do with shy space, but everything to do with the vibe and the mission of Shy Space. And so I'm really excited about those two. So stay tuned for all of that. But um, for right now, this week we're gonna be diving into everything that Bob taught and giving you kind of like the high level. TLDR of paradigms and how you can break out of these mental operating systems, as my coach likes to call it. So for those who don't know, I invested in a personal coaching and mentorship program about a month ago because I am just at a point in my life where I'd like to level up to the next level of success and bring my A game and just be like the absolute best version of myself in every single thing that I do. And I couldn't think of a better way to do that than to invest in having the proper guidance and the proper mentorship outside of the support that I get at work, the support that I get in therapy and in my personal life. Like actually having someone who's there to help me with my mindset and to make me just the, like most, the most, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Like confident and just grounded individual. That's really what I'm going for because at the end of the day, if you want to achieve anything like you have to you have to overcome your mentality and your mental blocks and all the things. Because you can never outperform yourself or your identity. I'm learning more and more about how to create my identity, and really step into the version of myself that I wanna be. And I always wanna share that information while I'm learning it, because I know it can help somebody else. And I'm not the only person in the world who just doesn't even know what they're doing sometimes and is just like, literally, what the fuck. Okay, so talking about calling them mental operating systems, that, like I said, is what my coach calls them. But another word that people use to talk about this thing is paradigms, and that's what Bob Proctor used to teach. Basically a paradigm is an invisible program that runs your mind. When we're talking about these mental operating systems, we're basically talking about the invisible programming that runs your life. So there was a very big shift that I had to undergo in 2021 when I learned about paradigms because I realized just how much I had been getting in my own way and how my mentality was just some horrible ass mentality from god knows where, and it just literally did nothing positive for me and it just needed to be eliminated. And like I said, it was such a gift from God, from everything above to receive these teachings, and to be able to learn this at that time in my life. Like just so much alignment there with pGI offering these webinars every single month. Like I said, they were five days long every single day of the week. There was so much material, there was so much engagement. It was so amazing and I had so much free time to like just do this and study and it was so like, it was literally the best gift I've ever been given. And I've never even had this thought process until right now. So I love what the podcast does for me sometimes is I can like have these revelations in real time with you guys because I've never looked back and thought about that time and realized that if I hadn't been unemployed, because I was, like I said, I was going to school to get my master's. So I was working full time and I was in school full time and I was dying like just quite literally dying. So overwhelmed and just struggling to balance everything. If I hadn't lost my job, I wouldn't have been able to get severance and then, you know, get whatever they pay you if that's, I think it's just severance when they lay you off, whatever they pay you from your job and then you also get unemployment. So I like rode that unemployment for a while too 'cause this was still like kind of during the COVID era 2021 in San Diego. Like it just, we were still wearing masks, like it was very much still COVID. So I was able to kind of ride out this unemployment wave for several months. I did other things like babysitting and whatnot, but, dude, that is just, that's crazy. Like I've never, I've never even thought about that until right now, and it's such a full circle moment because my coach that I'm working with is a person that I was, introduced to from PGI, from Bob Proctor. It's one of his understudies, one of his coaches at PGI, who now has branched off into his own coaching and I'm being mentored by him. So that is just crazy like. This is your reminder. Let that story be your reminder that sometimes the worst things in life that are happening to you will end up being the greatest things when you look back 2, 3, 4, 10 years down the road. It may take a while, sometimes it takes a while. A lot of the time it takes a while, but it is so worth it. Like this feeling right now. This revelation is actually just the coolest thing ever and I'm so glad to be able to say that out loud and just like share it with you guys. So I hope that was helpful. So yeah, that's, uh, a little personal story about just like why this specific topic is so meaningful to me and important to me and why I wanna talk about it and why it was so impactful for my life. So this isn't just random shit that I'm teaching you or sharing about, I guess I should say. We talked about what paradigms are, we'll talk about how they work, define them a little bit deeper so you understand. And then obviously we need to talk about Bob Proctor's influence. So if you don't know who Bob Proctor is, he's basically a philosopher, author, all the things, um, life coach that was included in the movie The Secret, which is all about the law of attraction. A lot of people are familiar with that and probably know him from that, but he's done so much more outside of that. And he was a very, very successful life coach and mentor. God rest his soul. I was so, so sad the day that he passed away. We're gonna be referencing him a lot here. You can obviously do your reCrch on him at any time. I cannot do him justice in this just short little, like ten second snippet of who he is, but he genuinely changed my life with his teachings and I, like I said, was so emotional when I heard about him passing away, it genuinely felt like I lost a friend. And I feel like that says something yeah. So let's talk about what a paradigm is it's basically a set of beliefs, habits, and thought patterns that shape how you see yourself in the world. So going back to calling them a mental operating system, it's basically something that operates in your, subconscious, on your sub conscious level of thinking. That is really just defining the way that you're perceiving things, the way that you're moving, the way that you're, responding to things like it's unconscious program that's consistently running and determining just who you are and what you're doing. And a lot of people just live in the kind of like an awareness phase of life where they don't know this. And it can be really hard to change or to really understand like why things are happening if you're not aware of what your subconscious is feeding you at all times. At the end of the day, also, they really control your results. They dictate your actions more than your willpower alone. So if you think that your conditions or your circumstances are in control, you're giving away your power and you automatically are just succumbing to an old operating system, an old mental belief, an old paradigm that is telling you that you can't do this, you've never been good enough, or you know, you were always bound to fail or whatever it may be. You can't lose the weight, you can't get the job, you can't get the girl like literally apply it to any situation in life where you're struggling and it can help. And it basically just like when you shift that and you have what we call a paradigm shift, it's basically a permanent change in the way that you think and operate. And I think the reason that I'm having this big revelation is because. At that time in 2021, like summer of 2021, I remember it so vividly. I had my first paradigm shift, like that's when I was able to become aware of that subconscious, like thought patterns and, and habitual operating system that had been running and like controlling me and just like making me so miserable. And it has been a very slow and continuous crawl out of that and journey and battle of just harnessing that into something that's positive and into something that I want it to be. Not something that is predetermined and predefined by trauma, DNA, biological factors, you know, upbringing and experiences. Like I want it to be defined by what I decide is my core values and my purpose and the way that I wanna live. So it's just really powerful stuff when you lean into it. It's not easy. It takes a lot of time, especially if you're a very habitual person and you just kind of do things the same like me. It can be really tough to get out of that. Bob always taught that success starts in the mind, not in the environment. So take it from Bob if you're not gonna take it from me. And he also always said that when you make a committed decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. So I think that you should make the committed decision to shift your paradigm and go after whatever it is that you want. Now you're probably saying, I don't even understand what a paradigm is, Shyanne. So how am I supposed to shift it? How do I do that? Well, I'm gonna tell you right now. Step one is awareness. Okay? You're already in that phase. You're becoming aware of, you can't change, you know, what you aren't aware of. So we're gonna become aware of this and we're gonna start asking ourselves questions like what beliefs do I have about myself that aren't serving me? What circumstances in my life do I have that aren't serving me? What beliefs do I hold about my ability to succeed? Like you should really. I could go on and on and on for like 10 minutes about the types of questions that you can ask yourself. So I'll just try to keep it short and sweet, but like I've had to do this before, like do I believe that I can make X amount of money. Back in the day when I was trying to get to the goal that I'm at now? Oh my God, I never believed it. Never. And it took so much of that shadow work as you call in therapy to kind of layer in like probing, reflection and then reframing and rewiring of the thought process. Like, do I believe that I can make that much money? No. Okay. Well, do I believe that other people can make that much money? Yes. Okay. So do I believe that I'm different than those people? No. If the answer is yes, then we, we gotta go back to like self-image and it's gonna be a further journey back, right? But if we actually are able to land ourselves in being like, this person is really not that different than me. So if they can do it, why can't I do it? There's proof right there in front of me that if somebody else can do it, that I can do it because it's, if it's like, it's possible, it can be done. So I can do it. And even if it's not possible, I can do it. So really getting curious and just having that awareness. Like I said, crucial step one. Step two is gonna be making the decision and the commitment to get rid of what doesn't serve you and change this paradigm wholeheartedly. Like you're gonna really give yourself into it. You're gonna scold yourself lovingly when you find yourself trailing down those thought patterns that don't serve you and stating things that don't align with your new beliefs. You're gonna really be on yourself about it. Because having freedom comes from having mental freedom. So if you want any type of freedom in your life, you have to start with having mental freedom. You don't get financial freedom until you have mental freedom. And then talking about the commitment side of it too is really important because you wanna be choosing consciously, like very aware of what you're thinking and really thinking like, okay, do I believe this? Like, do I want to attach myself to this thought process? Do I want to align myself or like, I forget, I don't know what word I'm looking for, but like, do I want to be attributed with this thought process? Yes or no? Okay, then you go from there. When it comes to commitment, being indecisive, is actually a decision. So this is something that I'm talking to my coach about right now is my problem with indecisiveness. So it's funny that I'm giving you this advice, but just because I can give you good advice doesn't mean that I don't still have things to work on. Being indecisive is a decision. You're making the decision not to make a decision, and that is not the decision that you wanna make. So I encourage people and myself when you're feeling indecisive, to just go. Give yourself grace to stay in that period, but not for long. Give yourself like a limit of time, like whether it's five minutes, a day, if it's something massive, like whatever you think is appropriate for your circumstances, give yourself the timeframe, and then once the timeframe is up, get after it and get moving and go. Because otherwise you're just sitting still. And that, like I said, is a decision. That also is what they call the start that stops most people. So I'm laughing because I'm super guilty of this, like just being paralyzed and not wanting to start or being caught up in like the perfection of it. Number three is repetition and reprogramming. So repetition is the fastest way to change your thinking patterns and replace your old thoughts with new ones that are in harmony with your goals and the new self-image that you want to have and embody. And in order to replace those old thoughts with the new ones, you have to be really hard on yourself. Like I said not in a sense of being like, oh my God, I'm so stupid. I can't think in this new thought process, but being like. Okay, I'm really serious about this. I'm not letting myself slip up and say negative things about me or my goals or whatever. I'm just only gonna think positively, only gonna think in ways that are in alignment with who I wanna become and what I want to manifest and all of the positive things that go with that. And a good way to help with the reprogramming also is visualization. Visual visualization with affirmations. Those are the two rewiring tools that people teach that I definitely can get behind. Um, visualization I've talked about a lot, but is really just like daydreaming basically. And then affirmations. I've talked about a lot too. So if you don't know what those are, I recommend going back and listening to one of the old episodes. Oh my God, my hair. Okay, anyways, sorry guys, you're getting me right before I go to the barn. So, number five is to align with the universe. Remember that everything operates on a frequency you don't go get success. You align with it. You attract what you are, and that is where you need to focus your energy on building the new, not fighting the old. And then number six, the final one is locking in on your wants. So you really need to decide what you want. And I think this is gonna surprise some people, but I actually saved this little spiel for the end because, something that I've learned in general and just from my own experience, like about people and myself, is that people do not ever, most of the time, go after what they truly want. Which is why Bob taught the A BC goals framework, which I'm gonna talk about more next week. Um, but basically it's having like three tiers of goals. A C goal is something that you've either already accomplished, well, no, 'cause that's not a goal. A A goal is something that you know that you can accomplish. A B goal is something that you think you can accomplish. You're not sure how, but like it's within reach essentially. And then a C goal is so far out of reach that it makes you uncomfortable and you have no idea how you're gonna get there. And you're honestly like embarrassed to even consider it a goal 'cause you're like, there's no way. Really locking in on what it is that you want is so important for changing your paradigms, because that's gonna help drive everything that you do and bring you back to the source of truth, of why you're doing what you're doing and why you're trying to make this change. Because your paradigms are really strong. They're really convincing. They're gonna try to pull you back. They're gonna try to convince you that you know, you're not good enough. You can't do it, all the things, and it's just not true. So having really, really strong, clear goals are going to keep you locked in on what you want and just keep you in that mindset of like rejecting anything that's not in harmony with what your vision is of your life and who you want to be and what you want to become. So really ask yourself when you're just doing things on a day to day, am I committed to my freedom or committed to my suffering? And that's what I have to say to myself a lot of the time when I'm going down these like rants that I struggle with just as a result of anxiety, like getting really fixated on something that happens and spiraling down a thought process train that does not serve me and is very draining energy-wise, happens to me quite a bit. And I have to always pull myself out and really be intentional and really be like, I'm not doing this again. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and disassociate my entire drive home because I couldn't stop thinking about something that is literally not going to matter in a day and probably doesn't even hold a lot of validity in terms of where the actual concern is because that's just ego-based. Like fear is ego-based. It's just not worth the energy. So are you committed to your freedom or are you committed to your suffering now? That is everything that I wanted to share with you guys today. Next week's episode is going to be a lot more granular on these same topics, but diving in a little bit deeper on the same theme of Bob Proctor. So I'm really excited for that one. It's gonna be focused around the money frequency and we're gonna talk more about the a, b, C goals, how people make money and things like that. So tune in next week if you are down with that conversation. And remember that the treasure that you're seeking is already inside of you. I always have to leave you with something cringey. So that's my cringey statement of the day. But it really is true. You're never gonna find what you need outside of yourself. So it's best that you look inside of yourself as soon as possible because you will find the answers there. And also, remember that as a recap, paradigm shifts are about being before doing. So if you're trying to shift your paradigms and you're thinking that you need to go do a bunch of stuff to accomplish that, I would encourage you to slow down and just start with your thinking and start with the small daily things that you can manage and change easily that are just like a simple tweak that will actually be the big things at the end of the day. So whether it's your morning routine, what time you wake up, what you do before bed how you spend the first hour of your day, how you talk to yourself throughout the day, how you talk to others, whether or not you allow yourself to daydream. Like there's so many things that I could get into. So, um, yeah, just always be the energy that you wish to attract. I think Gandhi said that, if I'm wrong about that, that's gonna be super embarrassing, but I really don't care 'cause it's at the end of the day and I need to go to the barn. Last thing I'll say too about takeaways and reflection is that true freedom is really about breaking mental bondage and choosing new beliefs. So a little bit redundant in terms of the things that we've talked about today, but just a reminder, like it's so mental. The challenges that we go through are so mental, and if you really reflected on how often the challenges that you go through in your mind actually manifest in real life, at least for me, and I know a lot of people can relate, it's a lot of wasted energy. And I would say a large majority of the worries do not manifest. And we're just like living in this state of suffering in our mind, and it's for no reason. I'm listening to the power of now right now. Which really talks about in the beginning chapters how the ego is, what drives your desire to constantly be thinking about something in the future or the past, or to be analyzing something and how humans never really rest because we're always thinking about things all the time and that that's ego driven. And so I feel like. It's just another reminder that we have so much going on in our minds and in our subconscious and there's so much unknown that we're still learning, but we have so much powerful information at our fingertips right now to be able to understand, we really do create our own reality. We really do create circumstances in our life and attract things and pave the way were, not just along for the ride, like we're creating the ride and we're paving the path. So pave the path. Now, last couple things, reminder that, shifting your paradigm also is a process. What you're gonna do in order to complete that process is practice, repetition, commitment, and awareness to make it real. And something that I think that y'all should do if you're trying to work on shifting your paradigms. 'cause I did this religiously when I was working on my paradigms. Is to journal on one specific paradigm that you're ready to let go and what you wanna replace it with. Something really cool that I did back in the day when I was working on this too, was actually wrote down the limiting beliefs that I held within myself about making money and just like general stuff. And I burned it. I burned that son of a bitch and it felt good and. My life was changed after that. Not to be dramatic, but it was. So yes. That's that reminder to follow my pages on social media if you're into that or subscribe to my channel if you like what you hear. And like I said, next week, it's gonna be super fun. So make sure to tune into that episode and if you have any questions, as always, I am always available. So feel free to message me. And again, thank you so much for listening and I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your day.