From Childhood Trauma to Limitless Potential

Hi y’all! 

This week I dive into the topic of childhood trauma and how it can actually be transformed into potential. 

I share my own experiences with uncertainty, self-limiting beliefs, and the ways our upbringing shapes our mindset around things like money, success, and risk. 

My goal is to remind you that you’re not alone in these struggles, and that with awareness and intention, you can rewrite your story and create the life you truly want.

Thank you for being here!

Xx,

Shy ♡ 

Transcript

0:01

Hello and welcome back to Shy Space, where we talk about all things pertaining to mental health and manifestation. If you're new here, welcome. My name is Shy. I'm the host of this podcast. If you're returning, thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to dive into this week's episode. We've got a bit of a kind of jam packed agenda, if you will, for the episode. Talking about trauma, which is always fun. I personally love it when people trauma dump. That is not a joke. I really love to know the depths of people's souls. So I'm excited about this one. And I'm also excited about the topic because not only are we talking about something that is so important, but the topic, I should say was actually chosen by some of my listeners. So thank you guys so much for tuning in, commenting things that you want to hear about and just supporting the show because it's so exciting. It's so amazing. It makes me so happy that it's finding you guys and it's resonating when it comes to the information and that you actually have things that you know, we can talk about as a collective together. So that is actually what prompted today's episode. I just wanted to share that little backstory'cause I thought it was exciting. And yeah, I just, like I said, I love the community aspect. So it's like we're really helping people here. We're trying to get to the nitty gritty of, you know, life and how to make life the best possible for yourself and everyone that you love around you. So. Now when we talk about childhood trauma, and turning that into limitless potential. I feel like a lot of people are gonna hear that and be like, okay, what? What are you smoking, girl? Because that just doesn't really make sense. Like those two things don't really seem to go hand in hand in terms of being able to turn one into the other and transmute that. But, I am a big, big advocate for turning your pain into power, and I've learned a lot over the years about adversity and resilience and bouncing back and all the things and like what happens to us in life, and it is just genuinely so important to go through these things and use the information as a lesson. And use the energy to transmute yourself, your life, whatever it may be, your circumstances into what you want them to be. And on that note, what if I told you that the very things holding you back, such as uncertainty, fear, maybe of the future, of failure. That's my favorite one. Feeling being afraid of failure is my bread and butter. Or even old stories from childhood. These are all things that live within us subconsciously, like deep, deeply rooted within our bodies and within our subconscious. And they are actually the exact lessons that we need to understand in order to step into our success. And the reason that I say that is because the question that I got specifically from one of my listeners was surrounding. How do we remove those blockages from our childhood trauma to allow us to manifest and create the life that we desire and not be held back by them? And I just love this question. It's so important to talk about, and we could do a multi-part series on this topic because trauma is so complex as we know. It causes so many blockages in the body and our energy systems and in our ability to create and just show up as our best selves, and also be able to see the world really clearly as it is versus like what we're seeing through our perception, through our lens, because of what we've experienced. So. Today's whole episode is really gonna cover how we should navigate those feelings of uncertainty, or how to navigate those uncertainties with money, mindset, spirituality, identity, whatever it may be, while also unpacking how trauma and self-limiting beliefs will sneak into our minds and in our lives as roadblocks and confuse us. Let's dive right into it, shall we? First thing we wanna talk about is embracing uncertainty when you are paving your own path. I feel like a lot of people get really stuck surrounding the level of uncertainty that comes with things like self-employment, entrepreneurship, things of the like. I also feel that way. And it's because when something is uncertain or unclear. It tends to be really scary and it causes your subconscious mind and your nervous system to try to pull you back into something that feels familiar and safe. So even if that familiar and safe thing is actually not good for you, your subconscious doesn't know that or understand that because it only has enough information to work with what it's got, right? Like it only knows so much. And so until you start feeding in a new story into a new narrative consistently, so that it can actually accept the idea, trust it, and regulate to that it's going to continue to pull you back and be like, Nope, this isn't good. You don't wanna try to venture off into self-employment, you don't wanna do any of those things or even really try to like go after your goals for that matter because you're just not gonna achieve them. That's not true. Uncertainty is really just the unknown future, especially when you're not following a traditional route. So again, this is gonna come with a lot of the career paths that people are taking nowadays. Like we've seen a big wave of people moving away from the nine to five and moving into the creator space and it's amazing. But it comes with a lot of uncertainty. And I feel like if you want to step into that space and you want to try to do something on your own, like you just, you genuinely have to get so comfortable with being uncomfortable and get so comfortable with uncertainty in general. Because it's just like, you don't get to know Babe. All we have is the present moment. All we have is the now. Eckhart Tolle would tell you to just not even worry about those things. And then just focus on the present moment because that's all you have and you don't have any issues right now. The reason why understanding this part of the uncertainty matters is because most people mistake this uncertainty for danger, but it's actually really just a sign of growth. So that's why I just mentioned what happens with your nervous system and your subconscious, because it does feel like danger and your body literally responds to it as if it's danger, but it's not. So yes, it's trying to keep you safe in some way, and that's great, but it doesn't quite understand the assignment, so we just have to reel it back in. And really just work on having a mindset shift. So reframing these thoughts of uncertainty to thoughts of limitlessness and endless possibilities. You know, anytime you think of lack when it comes to time, money, resources, food, whatever it may be, like, you need to think into the opposite of that and be really grateful for what you have. The reason that I say being grateful is because that energy, that frequency. Gratitude is the quickest way to get to a state of non-resistance and a state of appreciation, and just the ability to flow and attract and manifest, and also just be in a more positive state. Like it's really, really hard if you're feeling really negative and ungrateful to take a limiting belief or an uncertain belief in your mind and reframe it into something that's positive and affirmative of abundance. So that's when you have to backtrack and be like, okay, let's make a list of some things that I'm grateful for. You know, my life may seem like it sucks really bad, but guarantee you there's someone else out there who would trade places with me in an instant. And that's not to say that my struggles are any less important or any less, you know, intense. But it does mean that I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm gonna use that as my avenue and my pathway into what I want to be and have and do because that is how we get there. So the other thing that you wanna do is really focus on your identity. Like how do you see yourself? Do you genuinely see yourself? And I talked about this in the last episode last week, but do you genuinely see yourself as someone who can handle uncertainty? Who can handle the unknown, who can handle challenges when they arise? Like if you go into business by yourself,'cause that's what you wanna do and something bad happens. Can you handle that? Do you see yourself as somebody who can handle that? Because if you don't, then that's part of the problem. And I'm genuinely preaching to the choir here because this is something that I struggle with too. Like I've done the self-employment journey and I did it with a lot of negative feelings and, just like poor identity habits. And it just didn't work out. And there's a reason for that, right? Like, I wasn't telling myself the story that I wanted to manifest or attract, so I wasn't living it. And that all happened for a reason. So, you know, if that's happening to you now, like, it's water under the bridge or whatever. Like, don't, don't even worry about it because in six months, a year from now, you're gonna look back and be like, oh, I totally get why that had to happen that way,'cause I needed to learn this and this and this. So everything in divine timing, right, everything happens for a reason. Divine orchestration, but you still need to work on that identity because you can never outperform your identity. Like if you're not in the state of believing that you are this person who can attract this relationship, this circumstance, this job, this bank account number, this paycheck, whatever it is. If it's an apartment, like anything, you can apply this to anything. Imagine, what is the type of person that can accept that or step into that or be that? Now you're that person. Embody that. It's really not that hard. It's just, this is just what actors do all day long. It's really easy actually. You don't have to like be a five star actor. You just have to pretend, which is really easy. You did that as a kid too, so get after it. Some practical tools to help with these two modalities that I'm talking about, which is the mindset shift and the gratitude, are anchoring, for example, anchoring in small daily routines. So meditation, journaling, exercise, gratitude, you name it. Obviously like financial tips just to make yourself feel safe. Having an emergency fund and also doing money mindset. Like affirmations and mantras or mantras? Mantras, yeah. So y'all would think I'm crazy if you looked at my bathroom mirror. It's just covered in affirmations and they're actually like little affirmation cards that you can get on Amazon and they just have a bunch of random affirmations on them. Like some are about the body, some are about life, some are about money, and I just have them taped or like, they're not even taped, they're just shoved into my mirror and they're like lining the entire outside of the mirror. So yeah. Crazy stuff like that. It's what works, honestly. And then from a spiritual tools perspective, surrendering is gonna be a big one. That's gonna be your best friend, because if you cannot surrender to what you want and to surrender to life, and just give into the higher power that you believe in, and just be like, okay, like I trust whatever's meant to be will be. And like, if this is not meant to be for me, then what is meant will come and I'm not gonna, you know give. I'm not gonna have a gorilla grip on the outcome. Like I'm just gonna really go with the flow and just try to trust that everything happens for a reason,'cause it does. Another spiritual tool meditation, like I mentioned, that's a tool and a daily routine. So we love that. Journaling prompts, same thing. And a good one for this specific topic that we're discussing right now is, what do I know for sure today? So helping with the uncertainty, which is great. Okay. Next we wanna talk about how childhood trauma and self-limiting beliefs are really roadblocks in our creative journey or our creation journey, I guess I could say. So. Understanding first, like why does childhood trauma show up in our lives still, right? Like we're adults. Why are these experiences popping up in our brains and making us act ridiculous or think ridiculous or whatever? Like, why is this happening? The reason is because childhood experiences are really what write the first script if you will, about your life, like what success looks like, what love looks like, what worth, safety, financial freedom looks like. Like everything is mapped out and scripted in your childhood. And so you are identified with those beliefs, whether you like it or not, whether you're even aware of it or not, until you become aware of it and until you change it or don't. They're just there and they're really governing your behaviors and your thoughts and your decisions and all the things, like even if you don't know it, they are. Because if you grow up in a household that was really frugal about money and thought that money was scarce and you know, always talked about the economy being a problem and all those things like. You are really gonna have a hard time believing in opulence and abundance because you weren't raised that way, and that's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to change it and adopt a new way of thinking because that's just not true. Like look at how many idiots on the internet are making ridiculous amounts of money right now. Money, money, money is not scarce. Like it is not scarce. It's just scarce for a certain. Percentage of the population, unfortunately. And that is because they haven't quack, they quacked, they haven't quite cracked the code. Like it's just, that's just the truth because otherwise, literally try and explain to me how these morons are making millions of dollars and like healthcare professionals aren't. And even like some really smart lawyers aren't like, try to make it make sense. It doesn't make sense because there's no law to that. What you believe is gonna take you way further than anything else. Yeah, so if you were told, like, here's another example too about maybe some childhood trauma and just like limiting beliefs, if you were told to play it safe when you were growing up or if you were told to, you know, like the classic one for my generation, which I'm like Gen Z, millennial, cusp, I guess I was born in 97 and, the thing for us is like the parents with the, the script of like, you know, you go to a job and you work it for 40 years or whatever, and then you like get your social security and you retire and all that. And it's just like not the vibe and. That's what a lot of people get, I think from their parents in this generation or that generation I guess I should say, which is fine, but if you were told to play it safe growing up and you did have that type of influence growing up, you're going to resist risk. And I know that because I am one of those people. I do not like risk because my parents told me to play it safe growing up and they always wanted me to play it safe and they always wanted me to be okay and I appreciate that, but it showed up in my life in a way that doesn't serve me. And so I do not identify with that anymore. I do not play it safe. I take risks and I do things that scare me, and I do things that people may not approve of because I don't care. Like that's, I'm not here to get anyone's approval. I'm here to get my own approval, so. There are a lot of things like that, that are gonna be a little bit more subjective and individualized to, you know, people's experiences. But I feel like those are some of the most common ones, right? Like being advised or influenced against risking anything when it comes to a career perspective and like really chasing your dreams, right? Like going after the big scary dreams. Most people are advised against that. They're advised into safety, which is stupid. And the other one is being advised into a scarcity mindset when it comes to money. And just believing that money is, you know, it doesn't grow on trees and all that. And thinking of it as this like really scarce resource, which again, is just not true and not beneficial at all. And another one. I love this one because this one comes up for me sometimes too. If love was ever conditional in your family, you may tie success to overworking. So I grew up in a really strict household and. I was in trouble if my grades were not like at a certain level. And when I got in trouble for that, I did feel like I wasn't loved. And that's not'cause my parents didn't love me, but it's just because that's how I felt. And so I do tie success to my production and like my output. And that also has to do with a lot of the beliefs that come from my family as well. That, again, there's nothing wrong with them, but I do not align with them. I do not identify with them. You know, like I think a lot of this generation of parents that we come from, like are the nineties babies or whatever, early two thousands babies. Our parents are very much like from the era of like, gotta put your blood, sweat, and tears into it and like, you know. Bust your ass and like work hard, work harder, all that type of stuff. And I'm just like, no, I don't believe in that whatsoever because I have literally seen so many people make so much money doing Jack shit, like doing absolutely nothing. So I'm like, I don't believe that. It just doesn't add up. The math isn't mathing. Like you don't need to work hard to earn more. You just have to figure out whatever it is that these other people are doing. And do that. And you know, it's not just mindset, it's obviously strategy, you know, execution the actual industry that you're in and all those things. Of course, some are more lucrative than others, but yeah, I'm just like, nah, I don't believe in this whole, like, working your ass off and like climbing a ladder. Like there is so much abundance in the world to be made and. If you wanna make it, then make it. That's all I gotta say. But again, empathize with you if that's something that you do struggle with, because I 100% feel like my success is tied to my output. If I ever skip like a workout or I'm not timely with my podcast output, or I skip the podcast, you best believe I'm having a war with myself internally and just like feeling like shit, which. You know, is a blessing and a curse. So learning to balance really is the key there. And then talking about just like any other thoughts that you have and how to identify them really by noticing your default thoughts when things get tough is the best way to do that. Things like, I'm not good enough. This always happens to me. I knew this would happen. I'm such a failure. I'm such a loser. Whatever it is that you think when bad things happen or when you're really stressed out or you're scared, that's gonna be your default. Mode of thinking, which is great because you can really see where you stand and how much work you have to do. And it's okay if there's a lot of work'cause you can get there. It just takes first identifying it and then going from there. And the best way to break this cycle when you've actually been able to identify it, right, like it's happening in real time and you're identifying it, is, there's a couple different things you can do. So we talked about reframing the thoughts. That's always one thing. Reframing your statements and your thoughts. Having a therapist, a coach, journaling or doing inner child meditations are also amazing. Inner child meditations have helped me a lot. I'm in therapy every week. I'm in coaching as well. I'm in a coaching program. And yeah, I can't attest to these more. Replacing limiting beliefs with conscious ones. That's another big thing when it comes to this specific thing that we're talking about because, like I said earlier, these are subconscious thoughts. Like they just, they just come up, they just show themselves and you don't even know what's happening. You're just like accepting them and you don't have to. So being conscious and replacing those thoughts. And then a last one that's really good is reparenting yourself. So give yourself the support that you may not have received as a child that you would need at a moment like that if you were experiencing it in your childhood. I learned that last one from my therapist and I love it. It's great. Alright, last part here is talking about the intersection. So how trauma shapes, how we actually face uncertainty. Trauma typically makes people crave control because uncertainty feels so unbearable that they just will grasp for whatever they can control, which is understandable because people look for control in other areas of life when they feel like they've lost it in one or, you know, whatever. That can manifest as so many different things that can manifest as an eating disorder that can manifest as over performing at work. Like there's so many ways that it could show up and it's really quite sad and, and quite, you know, concerning sometimes.'cause it can also show up in ways that are so moderately dysfunctional that they can be unnoticed or they can go unnoticed, if that makes sense. Like if you're not having a total mental breakdown, sometimes this dysfunction can just like almost cos play as normal human behavior, which is scary. Limiting beliefs will also make us sabotage new opportunities. I talked about this earlier, but your subconscious mind is always gonna tell you things like, it's not safe to succeed. I'll lose myself if I try. I'm not gonna be able to, I've never been able to all those things and those are just not true. Like, you can have those thoughts, let them pass through your mind and just don't accept them. Like you're just the observer of those thoughts and you just say, alright. You know, like that's a great warning, but it's not needed here. So thank you very much. Okay. And then the last thing there on this intersection is that healing is really accomplished by building tolerance for the unknown and rewriting the stories that we've created and carried since childhood. So. Building tolerance for the unknown. First of all, that means doing things that make you uncomfortable. Stepping into the unknown, stepping into the uncertainty of life and just allowing yourself to, to be in a space that makes you uncomfortable and feels uncertain, and just breathe through it and just get through it so that you know that you're gonna be okay and you can teach your nervous system and your subconscious that you are gonna be okay, and that you don't have to panic and be scared every single time you step into something new and uncertain. Now on the side of rewriting the stories that we've carried since childhood, this again goes back to being conscious or becoming conscious and replacing those limiting beliefs. And then it also goes back to the meditations, like I mentioned. That's a huge one. And just honestly like becoming conscious and becoming present, like aware in the present moment. That's really all it takes because you just don't notice things like this when they're coming up because it happens, like I said, again, so redundant, but it's on a such a subconscious level, like most people have no idea that this is happening, and it's really shitty because it's like. No, like you can stop, you know, like you can wave the hand and be like, okay, stop. Like, we're not going down this spiral staircase anymore. Some takeaways and goals that I would love to share with you guys that I would give as an aspiring coach, and also things that I've learned from all the work I've done. First is focusing on your mindset. So practice viewing uncertainty as a doorway to an opportunity, not a dead end. It's completely shifting your perception there. From a financial perspective, focus on creating security without clinging to scarcity. So creating security in your mind, feeling secure in your space and in your heart, without clinging to a scarcity mindset and without also clinging to the outcome or the specific how when it comes to financial goals or any goals really. And then spirituality. Trust the path that is unfolding for you. Always. Like just tell yourself any single time something's happening and you're like, what the heck is going on? Trust the path. I trust the path. I trust God. I trust the universe. Whatever you believe in, trust and then your identity. My favorite one.'cause this is really the kicker. This is really the one that's gonna hold you back. This is really the one that's gonna just like. Ugh. It's a lot. I'm working on my identity every single day. It is not easy. It's not easy at all. No. London's looking at me like, what the hell, mate? Yeah. So anyways, for identity, just remember, you are not your past. You're not your past stories, you're not your past circumstances, you're not the past version of you. You get to reintroduce yourself and reinvent yourself at any time on any day. Ever. You get to decide and you could wake up one day on a random Monday and be like, I'm actually a completely brand new bitch and nobody gets to tell you otherwise. So, so go off. Alright, well short and sweet episode today. That's all I have for you guys. Quick reminder, uncertainty is a universal experience. It is a universal feeling, struggle, concern and fear. Trauma and limiting beliefs are so common. We all have them in one way or another. I don't care if you think you had the most perfect childhood on the planet. You still got trauma, you still got childhood wounds, you still got limiting beliefs, and unless you've ever identified them, talked about them, worked through them and processed them. They are there governing your decisions, governing your mindset, and deciding what you get to do and how you get to succeed and achieve things in life. And if you don't bring awareness to that and cultivate awareness to those thoughts and those patterns and behaviors, you will just continue to live unconscious for your whole life. And you will just at the end of your life be like, what the fuck just happened? You don't want that. So remember that you're not alone. This is the universal human experience, but your healing and your growth are yours to own and determine you pave the way forward. You pave the path of your success. Nobody else does. So take that ownership and see that as a blessing and a gift because it is one. And wake up one day and literally be like that old narrative, that old story no longer serves me. This is who I am starting today. Once you wake up, it's a new day. You've just let your vibration and your resistance and the momentum slow down for however long, six to hopefully eight hours and you've woken up on a brand new frequency, like you have so much power when you wake up on a new day. So take that power, harness that power, and don't forget that you have it. I'd also like to invite you guys to do a little journal prompt with me. And this is just surrounding like going against these feelings of uncertainty that can hold us back. The two prompts are what story am I ready to stop telling myself? And where can I trust uncertainty instead of fearing it? So I will personally be doing these prompts this week to help me, and I hope that you guys do the same, and I hope that they are helpful if you do them. So yeah. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you so much for the people who asked the questions and shared some information about their life. I really appreciate it. The feedback is so, so, so appreciated. You have no idea. Literally made my day seeing those comments. So thank you guys so much for listening. I hope this was helpful and. Again, please feel free to leave feedback on other things that you wanna hear, or maybe questions that you have, or things that I should have dived into in more detail. So, yeah. Thank you guys so much.