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Success Secrets and Stories
Harnessing Empathy to Foster Team Unity
Unlock the secrets to fostering genuine connections and trust within your team as we unpack the transformative power of empathy and compassion in leadership. Inspired by the insightful work of Michelle Bonteere, in the Harvard Business Review, we delve into the surprising gap between leaders' perceptions and employees' actual experiences with empathy. While a significant 78% of leaders recognize its importance, a mere 47% believe their organizations truly embody it. Discover how to bridge this gap by transitioning from empathy to compassion—going beyond just understanding to taking tangible actions that can genuinely support your team, especially illustrated through examples from an IT environment during the challenging COVID era.
In our conversation, we share practical, everyday applications of empathetic leadership, bringing personal anecdotes to the table to highlight the importance of authentic interactions. From simple greetings to meaningful check-ins, learn how these actions can build a more supportive work culture. Drawing inspiration from Adrian Gostick's Forbes article, we discuss seven powerful empathetic phrases for managers that can help break down barriers and foster genuine employee satisfaction. Whether you're an experienced leader or just starting out, this episode offers a treasure trove of insights to help you create a workplace where empathy and action go hand in hand.
Presented by John Wandolowski and Greg Powell
Hello and welcome to our podcast Success.
Speaker 1:Secrets.
Speaker 2:Stories. I'm your host, John Wondolowski, and I'm here with my co-host in front of me, Greg Powell Greg.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So today we're going to talk about, I think, a key element of being a leader. The word is empathy to constantly display empathy towards the teams and create a trusting environment to support employees' mental health. While empathy is a critical trait for effective leadership, it's not enough. Leaders must take action to address employees' concerns and their complaints effectively. And I came across this article and Greg and I have been talking about it. It's an article by Michelle Bontier from November 30th of 2023. And her article was in the Harvard Business Review. They're publishing corporate learning, so if you want to look it up, it's harvardbusinessorg. Empathetic Leadership how to Go Beyond Lip Service. I love that title and there's a dash in between each one of the words after the forward slash of organization.
Speaker 2:So it's an interesting article, Greg. Why don't you take it from there?
Speaker 1:Thanks, john. As John mentioned, michelle put some nice words together that I think will help you understand the importance of empathy in the workplace. So with empathy in the workplace. Empathy is recognized as a crucial element for building trust and supporting mental health in the workplace, and we've certainly talked a lot about mental health in the workplace since COVID. However, research suggests that many leaders struggle to consistently display empathy toward their teams, indicating a need for improvement in that area.
Speaker 1:There are definite challenges in demonstrating empathy. So 78% of senior leaders acknowledge the importance of empathy, but only about 47% believe their companies are effective at practicing it. That's a big gap between leaders' perceptions of their empathy and, of course, employees' experiences, and that's an opportunity for leadership development, and there's a need for action beyond empathy. Empathy alone is not sufficient for effective leadership. Let me repeat that Empathy alone is not efficient. For effective leadership, leaders must take meaningful actions to address employees' concerns and complaints. The article that Michelle put together emphasizes the importance of moving from empathy to compassion, involving actions that alleviate suffering and contribute to supportive work. John, what would you like to add to this topic?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So let's talk about the role of empathy in the workplace settings and, as Michelle was talking about, the workplace is where the leadership practice and displays more than empathy, as in society it becomes more attuned with the importance of mental health. Research supports the importance of the workplace empathy, citing that it's one of the three elements of emotional framework. Leaders must build with their teams that trust in order for that work to be effective. What exactly is empathy? Many people use that word interchangeably with sympathy, but the social science words that they use are similar, but they're distinctly not the same. In a recent article by HBR, the authors describe empathy as a part of a continuum of human-centered traits that range from pity I feel for you, I'm sorry for you to compassion. I see your pain and I'm here with you to help. Empathy essentially says I feel with you. How important is empathy for an organizational success? Very important. The Harvard business publishing the people who actually worked with publishing this article by Michelle conducted research that analyzed factors that contributed to top performers. They found that organizations that were in the top 7% this was a part of their organizational culture. So the next element of what she's talking about is why is empathy alone not enough to affect the workplace leadership. How is how? Is that not enough in order to make that difference between the two? She gives an example of an IT environment and she goes on to say that they were having problems. This was during the COVID times and they were pushing everybody in order to try to get production done and there was a perception of lip service that the leader may say I hear you, but it's really a difficult thing that you're doing, but they're really doing nothing more than trying to help you from an arm's length In order to help the employees solve the challenge. They basically gave that empathy in terms of feeling that they were part of the team, but it was insincere that they were wasting their time. I think that's one of the challenges for people that we are trying to help. They were scrambling to try to find a way to expand capacity through virtual meetings, were scrambling to try to find a way to expand capacity through virtual meetings and, at the same time, they were sourcing texts that were working from home offices that bloomed almost to working overnight. They were scrambling just to try to keep up and if you remember the COVID times, especially the IT departments, there was not a very fun environment to be in. There was not a very fun environment to be in. After several weeks of struggling valiantly, they enlisted the direct supervisor's help by sending a message to middle management we are drowning, we need help. The leadership's response was we are working hard, it is really tough and we are so grateful that you are working hard. Okay, okay, do you see any word of action in that process? Nope, the company brought everybody in the I-team together in terms of management and there was that smidgen of empathy, but when it was terms of taking action, they were tone deaf and not helpful at all. What was needed was a case with some sort of response that demonstrated that not only was leadership listening, but they were willing to take the changes of schedules and to make the additional contract workers lighter loads in order for them to be effective.
Speaker 2:So there's an interesting comparison of what's going on in terms of empathy and compassion and an interesting way for where I've seen it phrased pity sympathy, empathy and compassion. So pity is the knowledge that you're suffering. Okay, I understand that there's a problem. Sympathy is I care about your suffering, but it's you, not we. Even using the word we is superficial. It means nothing in the conversation Empathy is. I feel your suffering and now you're starting to understand and be in their shoes for a moment. The key here is excellent management understands that step to compassion. I want to relieve your suffering. How can we help and then act on it? That's the key. The whole thing about listening to complaints and having a suggestion box and taking no action on it all those things are how management really gets a bad opinion on how they're not doing their job. They're asking for help here's an IT team that's begging for their support and they're giving nothing but lip service. Greg, why don't you give us a summary of the concept?
Speaker 1:Thanks, sean. So mirroring empathy and compassion for optimal leadership impact. So just think of it this way Empathy plays a crucial role in building successful and supportive workplace environments. Leaders who consistently display empathy towards their teams create a trusting work environment and support employee mental health. And while empathy is a critical trait for effective leadership, it is simply not enough. Leaders must take action to address employees' concerns and complaints effectively. To become empathetic leaders, it is essential to sit with someone who's in pain, offer empathy and show that they care. However, empathy can feel insecure if leaders fail to take action to help employees resolve their actual challenges, leaving employees feeling unsupported and actually unheard. Therefore, leaders must understand the nuances of empathy in the workplace and consistently demonstrate it to build a culture of trust, support and success.
Speaker 2:And you know, greg, I think you have a really interesting example of I think I have two examples of empathy being applied in the workplace and the understanding of leadership actually taking that next step. Why don't you talk about those?
Speaker 1:examples I do, john. The first one I think of is when I became a part of the human resources department. So I worked with John in supervisory work. I'd been in sales before, but my first job in human resources was that of a recruiter, and so I didn't have any experience really. I'd interviewed some people as a supervisor, but not as an HR profession, and so I didn't have any experience really. I'd interviewed some people as a supervisor, but not as an HR profession, and so I had a boss.
Speaker 1:Her name was Janet Carol Miller. I'll never forget her, and what Janet did was took a chance on me first, but secondly I was learning, I was struggling. It was a whole different lifestyle of work and activities to do, and she could tell I was having challenges. A little reluctant to ask for help, she approached me and said Greg, how are you doing today? I said well, I'm having a little trouble, janet. She said well, let's talk about it. What can I do to help? What's going on? And she used to wear these glasses. I'll never forget those glasses. I remember she looked into my eyes. I looked at her eyes and I believed her. I believed she wanted to make me be successful. She wanted me to be successful. I wanted to be successful. She was committed and invested to giving me the tools, support, everything I needed, that if I did the work I was going to be successful. She felt my pain. She wore the shoes I was wearing and I just can't tell you how important it was for me and it definitely was a jumpstart to my career in human resources. For me, and it definitely was a jumpstart to my career in human resources, she was that way not just with me, but she had an empathetic approach to all the folks she worked with. It was considered a very good manager and director and she became a vice president of the company. But I was fortunate in that first experience in human resources to get that.
Speaker 1:The second example is a little different. So I'm working at my most recent company and I had this habit of trying to walk around the different workstations saying good morning to folks and how's it going? How was your evening? How's today? Look for you, what can I help you with? You know? Hey, don't forget, we're doing a birthday lunch for so-and-so today, whatever I remember, one morning I went by a person that worked in one of our what I call technical human resources areas.
Speaker 1:I said how's it going today? And he said that's good. Hey, is there anything I can help with? No, no, it's personal. Thanks for asking, but not really. I said okay, well, if you can think of something I will be happy to help. She said thanks. So I checked with a female director I had who she reported to. I said you know, I saw someone this morning and they seemed a little down. She said, yeah, she's got some issues, but she's got them taken care of. They're on her head. Thanks for asking. She really appreciates you asking, and so there's a line that kind of makes a lot of sense here.
Speaker 2:Leaders can act with empathy or they can take actions to actually demonstrate Right, right, no-transcript. She did that for you so that there was the action that was implied, and I think that's the part that what you can say and what you can see, and when you actually develop trust, it's not being there one and gone. You know the actors that come in, they fly in, they do their part and then they fly away. They can say anything you want and you can imply empathy, but if you're actually taking that action like you took the time as an executive to go to the director saying, okay, she's not talking to me. Is she talking to you? Yeah, well, she is, we're on it. Is she talking to you? Yeah, well, she is, we're on it. Both of you were showing the action element of helping someone. It takes it from listening to action to acting versus action. So I really do think that's a very important element of how do you actually apply empathy, yeah, so when I was going through this and we were doing the research, I found something else that I thought was kind of interesting Seven phrases used by empathetic managers, by Adrian Gullstick.
Speaker 2:It's from July of 2023, and it's from Forbes. His name, adrian Gostick. A-d-r-i-a-n-g-o-s-t-i-c-k. You can get not only this article but a lot of other articles that he has done. It's a very, very interesting article. Anyway, to my point, he has these seven phrases and it's like something that I had gone through my training. They're always trying to ask you to engage with your staff and to understand something. That's an acumen in terms of how you actually conduct questions and show empathy. Let me get to the point. His first phrase that I used was how are you doing? That's what Greg was talking about. It's engaging with someone. It's the verbal and nonverbal things that happen in that question on whether you were actually helping that team member or not by asking that question regularly and all you're going to do is get fine responses. You're really not taking advantage of the opportunity is get fine responses. You're really not taking advantage of the opportunity. They create a space for the employees to share their joys, their concerns, their challenges. For someone who cares, it's a phrase not only that generates trust, but it demonstrates that the manager values the person as an individual. Dead on. That's exactly what I was taught. It's interesting that this one line is the one that really called out to me, because it was something that was taught to me.
Speaker 2:In the environment where there's large organizations, people become robotic when they go by each other in the hallway they won't even recognize the person that you're walking with for like maybe five or seven minutes, person that you're walking with for like maybe five or seven minutes. It's as if you're in a cocoon and they're saying you can't do that. If you're a leader, you engage people and especially if you hear I'm fine or it's okay, you should be stopping spinning and saying what does that mean? Is there something I can do to help? The second is I understand.
Speaker 2:Empathy stems from the ability to comprehend and relate to the other's emotions. Empathetic managers validate their team members' experiences by acknowledging their feelings. This simple phrase shows that the manager recognizes the significance of their emotions and fosters a sense of belonging and understanding. Still, I understand is at a distance. It's not really interpersonal. That's still a sign In my world. You still need to take that next step. Three gets a little bit closer. What can I do to support you?
Speaker 2:Empathetic managers go that extra mile to remove obstacles and to offer support for their employees. This phrase conveys a proactive stance and demonstrates the manager's willingness to assist in overcoming challenges or providing assistance or resources. Empathetic managers ensure that they are empowering their team members to perform at their best. In my world, I was always trying to take the obstacles away and give them as much of an opportunity to be successful. That's the other element of empathy is, if you're listening. They may not be able to say it where they're looking for, but you have to take that next step in and help them make that next step in any way you can. That's leadership.
Speaker 2:Now, number four is where I get a little bit, where I start categorizing these things, and this is where the actor piece of it comes in. And you got to be careful. This line sometimes does not go well, especially if it's not done with a genuine spirit. I am grateful for your work. Okay, You're recognizing the hard work of the team member and it is crucial for fostering employee motivation and job satisfaction. Empathetic managers understand the importance of expressing gratitude for their team members' contributions. Sounds very, very distant doesn't it.
Speaker 2:That's a challenge. This phrase reinforces the individual's values within the team and when followed by specifics of what actually the manager is grateful for, it shows that the person uh, that they know how they're helping move the team and what the goals are that are important, and it's mostly meaning meaning that there's some element of engagement and that's the important part from I'm grateful for your work. I'd say that's one of the weaker ones of the seven. The one that is probably the most interesting is the next one, number five. I trust your judgment and that's the key, I think, in being a good leader is giving part of yourself to individuals to do their jobs. That element of trust is something that you want to foster. The article goes on to say the empathy involves in recognizing the competency and the expertise of the team members. The best managers trust their employees' decisions in making a decision. The best managers trust their employees' decisions in making a decision. They provide them the autonomy to get the job done.
Speaker 2:No-transcript. I usually have told people, whenever I've said I trust your judgment, that they take a piece of me and my management and my responsibilities and they represent me to others. I usually found this as an interesting line that I would use whenever there was a safety issue and they would have to shut off the power to the department and they knew that that wasn't going to go well. Have to shut off the power to the department and they knew that that wasn't going to go well and I may not be able to be next to them on their shoulder when they're making that kind of decision. But saying that I trust their judgment, they know I'm empowering them and they would take that safety concern away and I knew that I had their back. So that piece of I trust your judgment is really an important component, a very good phrase if you're going to be an empathetic manager.
Speaker 2:Six where do you want to go in your career? Now we're stepping away from those phrases that I would use in the work environment. Now we're into what you would do in a one-on-one kind of conversation and effective managers take the time to show interest in terms of professional growth in the team members, to ask regularly on their aspirations, to discuss long-term goals and their ambitions. This phrase opens up the opportunity for mentorship, guidance and encouraging the employees to develop their skills and reach their full potential. I have used this line and I kind of modified it. If you've heard our podcast in the past, I usually had the line of what do you want to be when you grow up? It has the same effect. You're trying to do something for fun, but there's that thought of what are you thinking about in terms of your career, not your job, your career.
Speaker 2:Seven. Let's find a solution together. This is the one that you would do in the hallway, kind of stuff, and try to help when you know that it's a broken system. There's that action. How do we find a solution together?
Speaker 2:An empathetic manager understands that problem solving is a cooperative effort. This phrase emphasizes teamwork and mutual support, creating a safe place for open communication and innovation by involving team members and seeking to improve the environment, the effects of whatever it is. That is being the challenge and the manager is fostering that sense of ownership. If I can just talk about my career, I think I saw that element of working together and empowering a sense of ownership. There's also a sense of pride that is developed whenever you help in my case, trade people taking on responsibility. There's a sense of pride when it's really working well.
Speaker 2:These lines really do work. They shouldn't be just inspirational words. They should be something that actually drives action and you can't get more specific than let's find a solution together. That really does have an impact. To summarize, as he put in the article, in employee engagement surveys that he had conducted, in employee engagement surveys that he had conducted empathy had become a cornerstone of effective leadership. Empathetic managers understand the power of words and specific phrases to a strong relationship, to foster greater trust, to motivate their teams. Empathy, coupled with strong leadership skills, moves the leaders towards success while nurturing well-being and growth in the individuals in their care.
Speaker 2:If you're going to take on this job of leadership, I think these seven phrases are interesting. A lot of them, I think, are those action items. I think there was only one actor item, but that really does drive. I think the, the phrases do a very good job of engaging you to to step out and ask and and Greg was talking about in his example that he would walk around and that's that is actually a taught process to walk around and engage people and to see how the, how the team is interacting. You can't do that from your office. You have to be in the environment and I, I, I hope, out of the things that we have brought to you, I find this discussion about empathy very, very important.
Speaker 2:Um, I think there's some pearls of wisdom there that you might want to use, so, if you like what you've heard yeah, my book Building your Leadership Toolbox is available on Amazon and Barnes Noble. You're listening to this podcast on whatever format that you have. I thank you. It's also available on Apple and Google and Spotify and probably half a dozen others. A lot of what we talk about is based on the MBR program and it's by a gentleman by the name of Dr Durst. His materials and his books are available in successgrowthacademycom. If you want to get a hold of us, my email is guando75.jw at gmailcom, and Greg.
Speaker 1:I get reached at gpowell374 at gmailcom. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the music is brought to you by my grandson. So, thank you. We want to hear from you, drop us a line, give us a suggestion. There has been wonderful opportunities for subjects and responses that have really helped us with this podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, thanks Greg, Thanks John, as always.
Speaker 2:Next time yeah.