Success Secrets and Stories
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Success Secrets and Stories
Words That Build (Or Break) Trust: Communication Essentials
Words shape our workplace environments, influencing employee morale, productivity, and relationships in profound ways. Effective leaders understand that conscious communication fosters psychological safety and inclusivity, creating spaces where people can express themselves openly without fear of judgment.
• Words can perpetuate stereotypes or build inclusive environments
• Using positive reinforcement and constructive feedback properly motivates teams
• Recognition of achievements, even through simple "thank you" statements, significantly impacts morale
• Active listening demonstrates respect and builds trust
• Consistency in messaging reinforces reliability and credibility
• Admitting mistakes openly demonstrates integrity and accountability
• Genuine praise strengthens team morale and reinforces positive behaviors
• Tone and timing matter as much as the words themselves
• Thank you cards have tremendous power when they express genuine appreciation
• Finding trusted colleagues who provide honest feedback improves communication effectiveness
Visit successgrowthacademy.com for more leadership resources or find John's book "Building your Leadership Toolbox" on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Contact us at www.authorjaw.com and let us know what you think!
Presented by John Wandolowski and Greg Powell
Hello and welcome to Success Secrets and Stories. I'm your host, john Wondolowski. I'm here with my co-host and friend.
Speaker 1:Greg Powell, greg, hey, everybody, yeah, and today, we're going to talk about an interesting subject.
Speaker 2:It is words, and words and the words that you use have a profound impact on your workplace, the psychology of how people receive your information, the significant influence on your overall environment. What words you use can affect employee morale, productivity, relationships. And language is becoming, I think, far too casual and people are making too many assumptions in terms of how they communicate. To understand the power of language, to understand what that means in terms of leadership and individuals, you can foster either a positive environment and an inclusive environment or the very opposite. I think that's the key. So, to try to get into it a little bit, there's a philosophy of what would be called psychological safety and using words and how you communicate. It's really kind of shaping a safe space to understand that you're creating an environment where people can communicate openly and they can be engaging to promote that kind of open communication, especially when we're dealing with the world that we're dealing with now and how people are so siloed or I don't know, they're not very cautious with how they communicate. You have to take the leadership approach and not fall into the trap of poor communication. Using words and being inclusive or making sure that they're not offensive, doesn't take a ton of thought, but it has to be conscious and sometimes, if you're not very aware that your conversation as a leader is different than what it is with your friends on a Friday night at the bowling alley, there's a significant difference between the two and that's really the heart of understanding what it is to be in leadership. Sharing vulnerabilities is always a questionable mark when you're dealing with a business application, but understand that you could be receiving those kind of inputs and you have to be careful on when somebody's sharing something, when they're vulnerable, what that communication really entails and your commitment to it. Another part of the impact is positive reinforcement and constructive feedback making sure that you're helping people to make the transition and constructive feedback making sure that you're helping people to make the transition. I think that the positive reinforcement conversation is so important right now when you're dealing with people that are dealing with cutbacks, are dealing with the issues that are associated with competition.
Speaker 2:Whenever there's competition within departments, how you communicate is really how you reflect and how your team reflects your wishes, your approach, recognizing achievements, which is being conscious and being within the moment, making sure that you're making it a positive environment. You want to reward people, whether it's nothing more than a smile and a thank you or talking about the contributions to the team. Those recognitions are very important to create a positive environment and to avoid negativity. Unless you have to make a point and it has to be corrected quickly, creating a toxic work environment is not that difficult to achieve. It's, unfortunately, pretty easy to achieve and it's really hard to change. So those are kind of a starting point. Greg, why don't you pick it up with the next point?
Speaker 1:Thanks, john. Let's talk about shaping perceptions and behaviors Language and bias, for instance. Always be mindful of how language can perpetuate stereotypes and usually we're talking about something negative when we talk about stereotypes or reinforce biases and strive to use language that is inclusive and respectful of all employees. How about the power of words to motivate? Words can be used to inspire and motivate employees to achieve their goals and contribute to the success of the company. The impact of language on relationships how people get along the way we speak to our colleagues can significantly impact our relationships with them. So it's important to be mindful of our language and how it might be perceived.
Speaker 1:Practical tips for improving workplace communication. Practical tips for improving workplace communication. Practice active listening. Pay attention to what others are saying, both verbally and non-verbally, and respond thoughtfully and respectfully. We've talked before about reading the room. That's part of the things that you need to do in a situation like this. Use I statements. Express your thoughts and feelings using I statements rather than blaming or accusing others. Focus on solutions. I like to call it the path forward when addressing problems or conflicts. Focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem itself. Be mindful of the tone of your voice. Your tone of voice can convey a lot, so be mindful of how you speak and ensure that your tone is positive and encouraging. We'll talk more about that in a little bit, yeah. And then seek feedback. I always like to say feedback is a gift. Ask for feedback from your colleagues and be open to constructive criticism.
Speaker 2:John, and just the feedback piece of it I think is kind of interesting. I've always learned that if you were to ask a peer that you trust, some feedback on what you're trying to present. That's something that you're going to talk about later. Having someone that you can use to help see how the message comes across is a great tool, and it's one of the reasons why you develop peer friendships, so that they are in the same boat as you are trying to make sure that you're doing the best you can in terms of leading, and having that camaraderie is an important part of being able to do a better job and be a better leader. So, in that vein, I also wanted to look for an article that was going to try to capture this. At the same time, and from the People's Development Magazine, they have this interesting article, watch your Words, which the full title is Watch your Words they are more influential than you think. It was by Connie Waddell and it was from March 20th 2021. And she did a very good job of putting it a little bit more detailed. So let me be very specific in terms of her article. She starts off with words matter.
Speaker 2:Smart leaders know that the scrutiny of every word and action is key as a leader. Know what you say has consequences. You need to watch your words. They are extremely influential. The position, the power, the influence comes from responsibility. We yearn for leaders that can build and believe in and have that trust. Let's have a frank conversation about why you must watch your words. We can't read minds. Leaders want to know what you think. We want to know where you are when you're talking to us. We want to know why you make the decisions and take the actions that you take and how that future will affect us. How you present your ideas, persuade us and either follow or resist. Accordingly, most of us are in the circle of friends or influence. One of the ways that you can understand what we're thinking is by paying attention to what you write and what you say. That's the implied. That words really matter to us. Turn us into believers is our next point. You need to prove to us that you're trustworthy. We are skeptical of your leadership. Before you open your mouth or hit the send button or use your mobile device, please check your fax. I'd say also check your spelling. Comes out of your mouth. You can't take it back. It's said yes, you can spin that message later or apologize for the misstatement, but you own it each time you do it.
Speaker 2:We connect with people who we believe are credible. We follow leaders who we trust. Stephen Coveney gave us a practical model of credibility. We look at all four of these characteristics to determine if a leader is credible Integrity, intent, capability and results. We will assist you with your character and, whether we like it or not, in terms of how you're coming across with the words that you use and when we look into it as far as a deeper understanding, your integrity and your intent are key and what it has to say about us in terms of visibility and clarity to both the listener and the person speaking.
Speaker 2:Silence is acceptance. I'm going to put a star on that one. If you don't respond, then you're implying that you're accepting. We elevate leaders by what they say. We evaluate leaders by what they don't say. It troubles us when we do not call out the bad performance or behavior. If my co-worker's performance is below standards and you fail to address it, we think that you're either showing favoritism, a hypocrite or a coward. We hold leaders to a high standard and we want you to live up to it. We hold leaders to a high standard and we want you to live up to it. To my point about this article, it was very close to the things that I've heard in my past and I think it was very well written. Greg, why don't you take us to the next step?
Speaker 1:Thanks, john. In the continuation of Words have Power. Be careful of your timing and tone. Words can instantly inspire, inform and tone. Words can instantly inspire, inform and motivate. They can also explain, upset, scare or divide people.
Speaker 1:Words matter, so do when and how you deliver your message. We recognize it is difficult for you to determine the right time to comment on really difficult issues. However, in the absence of your statements, we make up stories in our own heads. Science tells us that once we make up our minds, it's pretty hard to move us in a different direction. Your tone is important. We want to believe you are sincere and that you mean what you say. We see mixed messages when your tone and your words do not match. The tone circles back to your credibility and believability.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about 10 ways to watch your words and communicate effectively. Unlocking the 10 strategies to improve communication skills. Paying attention to the words you use is critical. Here we set out 10 ways to watch your words and communicate more effectively. The first one communicate clearly and concisely. Using clear and concise language is essential for avoiding misunderstandings and ensuring that your message is effectively received. Avoid jargon and overly complex sentences. Instead, choose simple words that convey your meaning directly to the folks listening. If you do that, you show respect for your audience's time intelligence and you enhance that thing we call trust. Precision in language minimizes the risk of misinterpretation or making your communication more reliable and trustworthy. The second one be honest and transparent. Your words should always reflect honesty and transparency. Avoid euphemisms or sugarcoating difficult news. That helps in building credibility. When you openly share the reasons behind your decisions and the challenges you face, you foster an environment of trust. Transparent communication demonstrates that you're reliable and willing to be open, which strengthens the trust of your team and stakeholders.
Speaker 2:John. The next point, number three, I think is really interesting because it's something that I've also talked about a lot Listening actively and responding thoughtfully. Active listening is not just hearing words, but understanding the intent and emotion behind them. Responding thoughtfully, using words that show that you have fully comprehended the message. Those are key. I will also throw in a little editorial commentary. You don't have to answer quickly. Silence gives you the ability to maybe capture some thoughts. She goes on to say paraphrase what you've heard to confirm that you have an understanding and ask qualifying questions.
Speaker 2:This approach shows respect, validation and making others feel valued in building a stronger trust. Show empathy in your language, and this one can be a challenge. Empathy as a communication means choosing words that convey understanding and compassion, acknowledgement of emotions and the perceptions of your team with phrases like I understand how you feel or I see why this is important to you. Using empathetic language helps to build a connection and show that you care about the well-being which is essential for trust. I can tell you from some of our previous podcasts that we talked about they're not looking to be sorry for the person that you're in the conversation with. You're looking to empathize with them and try to help them look into options to work through the problem if they engage you in that conversation.
Speaker 2:The next point be consistent in your message. Consistency in your words. Ensure that the team and the stakeholders know what is expected from you. Avoid contradicting yourself, as this can breed confusion and mistrust. Whether it's in an email or meetings or a casual conversation, maintain the same tone and messaging. Consistency reinforces reliability and trustworthiness, showing that you stand by the words that you've chosen.
Speaker 2:Next, I think is an important piece that Greg and I both feel is important Ask for constructive feedback. When offering feedback, your words should be aimed to build, not break. Focus on the specific behaviors and outcomes rather than the personal attributes, and frame your feedback in a way that encourages improvement. Phrases like I noticed you did X and think if you did Y, it would improve that. Are there more constructive ways to try to approach the problem? By trying to push that if statement, I think is an important element. This approach ensures that feedback is received positively and supports the trust-building environment. But we've had and heard these kinds of conversations. If they're trying to ask for corrective, greg, what's what's the ever famous quote? Feedback is a gift. Okay, so the humor I've always had whenever I've heard people talk about constructive feedback is an old HR technique that I've heard. It's you know like start out the conversation with a good thought, give them the bad news and then end with a happy thought. They sometimes get confused. What happened to the negative feedback? You've heard of this before right, absolutely, john.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that I want to make sure I mention from my own experience is being authentic. If you saw something they did really well, make sure you saw something. Don't make up something, because, again, you're trying to build that trust and connection between folks, but what you're really doing with constructive feedback is packaging it in a way for a person to hear it and understand it and be able to act on it. Let's go to number seven. Maintain confidentiality with careful language. Seven maintain confidentiality with careful language. Welcome to my world of human resources. Confidentiality right. So respecting confidentiality involves choosing your words carefully when discussing sensitive information. Avoid sharing details that are not yours to share. Use discretion in your language to protect privacy, showing that you can be trusted with important information. This careful handling of words reinforces trust and respect within your team.
Speaker 1:Number eight acknowledge mistakes openly. Admitting mistakes openly involves using honest and humble language. So if you make a mistake, talk about how you plan to fix it. Own up to it. Don't deflect blame on someone else. Owning up to errors with straightforward words shows accountability on your part and it shows how you have displayed integrity, and these are very critical for building trust. It also sets a positive example. Right, we're modeling here as leaders, a positive example for others to follow. Your mistakes are your best teachers. Others to follow your mistakes are your best teachers. All right.
Speaker 1:Number nine encourage open dialogue. I used to say before in some of our podcasts provide a place of safe harbor where people can actually speak openly and honestly. So use inclusive and inviting language to foster open dialogue. Phrases like what are your thoughts? And I'd love to hear your perspective and actually reach out and encourage folks to share their ideas and concerns. Don't wait for them to raise their hand. Call them out in a respectful way. The open communication style shows that you value input and that you, as a leader, are approachable, which again helps build a culture of trust and collaboration. John.
Speaker 2:And her last point celebrate success with genuine praise and I want to underscore the word genuine, because I've seen many different applications to this concept and genuine is the key word. Recognize achievements with sincere and specific words of praise, instead of a generic compliment. Say things like your work on the X project was outstanding because of Y. Genuine and detailed praise shows appreciation and reinforces behaviors. Celebrate success with heartfelt words strengthens morale and trust, as you show that you notice their valuable contributions, and I think that's probably the key for coming up with praise. It has to be meaningful and people trust me.
Speaker 2:Praise is sometimes lost that. It's assumed as part of your job. It is an important thing that you can do to help encourage people doing the hard work that they're doing. In summary, language makes us human. It's the key that she's trying to get across in this article. Words have power. They invoke thoughts, emotions and reactions. Article Words have power. They invoke thoughts, emotions and reactions. Great leaders and communicators have a unique ability to use words to draw others to them. We hope you take the article to heart and the words that you use do matter. But, greg, I think you have an example of the power of words in the practical world. I always found this example is interesting, so why don't you tell us about your example of power of words?
Speaker 1:Thank, you, john. For about five years I worked for a company in the print media industry or newspapers to you guys. Right, this was long before the digital age took off and I saw the power of words firsthand. The words were our distinctive business difference or our brand in the marketplace. Now, it didn't hurt to have good photography, but remember things like turning a phrase wax poetic or coining a phrase. They still apply today.
Speaker 1:Literally, a customer would make their newspaper product choice based on how the words make them feel, because the headlines were really the same. How do we articulate it? How do we paint a picture for you with our words, to invite you and to read our content? And I also wanted to mention something that happened to me in the area of tone. So the power of words and think about tone. So some years ago I was really upset about where the direction of tone, all right. So the power of words and think about tone.
Speaker 1:So some years ago I was really upset about where the direction of a project that myself and my team were working on. It was being recommended for a significant change and we had done our due diligence. We worked hard, had a good project plan, things were falling into place and I was approached by hey, I think we're going to go a different direction. That's pretty rare for those of you that know me for me to get really, really, really upset, but I was so upset I was willing to fall on my sword in my effort to convince the powers that be not to change the direction of my project. So I was hopping mad right.
Speaker 1:Fortunately, I thought it wise to touch base with a more senior member of our leadership team before talking to the ultimate decision maker and the advice I was given and he looked me right in the eye. He said watch your tone. I thought what is he talking about? He said don't rethink your position, rather watch how your frustration and disagreement sound with the current tone that I was projecting and it was sage advice. I followed it. I was able to get my point across in a professional manner and we were able to get a desired outcome. But again, I couldn't hear myself bubbling over, but he did and John and I talked about. Sometimes you got to find that person, the guy or gal, to help you out.
Speaker 2:Well, at one time you were my reference on how I was doing and how I was communicating and we were peers and it's just the whole thing about being aware and in our cases, in both of those examples, we knew somebody that we trusted. That would give us honest feedback, which is key to be able to make sure that you're coming across correctly. The words and tone mean so much and hopefully this podcast helps you with that. I want to add one other element that I found as an example in terms of power of words. A thank you card has a tremendous amount of power and if it's done the right way, it really does mean something to the person who receives it. I've seen different ways of it being applied where it's a mechanical requirement that has to be done once a week, and even if your staff is like six people, you have to write a thank you note and that person's going to get a note every six weeks or every eight weeks, and I can tell you right now that has no effect. It kind of ticks them off, to be honest. But if you also get one thank you card and they don't see that reflection of actually honestly being appreciated, it doesn't mean anything either If you make a card and you send it to them. I have seen occasions where they have taken my card and they have put it up on their wall at home. The words mean something to them and it means something to you, and it comes across on that piece of paper. If you do it the right way, they understand a genuine comment versus something that is flip and just trying to fall in line with a compliment. There's a difference on the words that you've chosen. Take the time to make a thank you card. Mean something to the person receiving. You don't need to write an essay or a novel. You need to send a moment of time of appreciation, and that is key. Can that be powerful, without a doubt. I would also offer the suggestion that you should not send one out and never talk to that person again, because I can tell you that that is so counterproductive. Recognize that person on a regular basis. Engage with that person. You've opened the door to that communication. Never let it close, especially if they're doing such an outstanding job that you are compelled to send you a thank you card that says something for the person that you're talking to.
Speaker 2:So, if you like what you've heard in this podcast. Yeah, I've written a book. It's available on amazoncom. It's available in Barnes Noble. It's Building your Leadership Toolbox. Our podcast is on what you're listening to, thank you. It's also available on other popular podcast formats like Apple and Google and Spotify. A lot of what Greg and I talk about is from Dr Durst's books and his MBR program. That information can be found on SuccessGrowthAcademycom. That information can be found on successgrowthacademycom. If you want to contact us, you can contact us at our website, wwwauthorjawcom. And the music has been brought to you by my grandson, so we want to hear from you. Send us a note, tell us what you think.
Speaker 1:So, greg, thanks, thanks, john, as always next time.