Acceptance - Not Authority - Unlocks Performance

Change arrives with a new title, but trust doesn’t. Greg and I dive into the first 90 days of leadership and show how acceptance—not authority—unlocks performance, psychological safety, and durable culture. From replacing stiff reviews with coffee chats to hosting open listening sessions, we map the simple behaviors that turn wary teams into willing partners.

John shares a powerful story about a lead electrician ready to quit over five cents, revealing how dignity and respect outweigh compensation. A single meeting surfaced unspoken praise, retired the “devil’s advocate” label, and transformed two colleagues into allies. Greg adds a newsroom case study on uniting a big-city paper with suburban outlets: preserving local voice, building shared pride, and delivering early wins like clear transfer paths. Across both stories, language, transparency, and consistent follow-through prove stronger than any memo.

We also reflect on ideas from The Intentional Executive by Patrick Furhan and Melissa Norcross, connecting self-awareness and purpose to real-world turnarounds. Coaching matters: when leaders invest in communication training and redirect adversarial habits toward constructive collaboration, teams feel seen and step up. Acceptance isn’t a soft add-on; it’s the bedrock that makes KPIs stick. If you’re stepping into a new role, start with listening, translate what you hear into quick, credible actions, and keep the promises you make in public.

Subscribe for more practical leadership stories and tools, share this episode with a new manager who needs it, and leave a review to tell us the first trust-building step you’d take on day one.

Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Well, hello, and welcome to our podcast, Success, Secrets, and Stories. I'm your host, John Wondolowski, and I'm here with my co-host and friend, Greg Powell. Greg? Hey everybody. And when we put together this podcast, we wanted to put out a helping hand and help that next generation and help answer the question of what does it mean to be a leader? Today we want to talk about a subject that I think supports that concept. Well, today's episode, we're going to explore the business benefits of an interesting term of acceptance. So leaders need to understand the skill sets associated with fostering trust, the importance of psychological safety, and making a genuine human connection. These are often called soft skills, but they are essentially what any new supervisor needs to have in her toolbox. For example, imagine a new team leader who takes the time to listen to each member of his team, their concerns, their ambitions, the things that they want to do in their first week of being employed. In doing so, they're not only checking the box of interacting with their team, but they're building a foundation of trust and open communication. When a new leader actually gains acceptance from the teams, it becomes much easier to achieve the company goals and to meet those key performance indicators, the world of KPIs. It really comes down to being able to communicate. And if management focuses on acceptance rather than just dictating goals, the organization can become more stable and a more resilient workforce.

The First 90 Days Mindset

SPEAKER_01 2:12

No, John, that is right. And since our podcast is designed to help new supervisors and new managers, let's talk about why the first 90 days are so important to establishing acceptance. So picture this if you can. Because that's what they're thinking. What's this person going to do to me? Maybe the last manager left suddenly, or even there's just a lot of turnover going on. As a new leader, you need to recognize that change is happening, whether the staff likes it or not. It's your job to help them navigate through this transition, this change. For example, you might hold a listening session in your first month where team members can share what's working and what's not working. This shows you value their input and that you are committed to understanding their perspectives.

Listening Over Reviews And KPIs

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Yeah. I mean, it's good the goal of trying to have that communication. First week, town halls, what whatever tools that you're comfortable with, starting that process is how you start to develop your staff. And the secret to effective development of your staff is to be an excellent listener. That's the key. It sounds simple, but it's amazing how many managers get caught up in the hiring process and listening to all those things you heard during the interview that they wanted you to do once you're on board. That's in the past, and that's an interview. It's totally different when you're doing the job. And what you're doing at the beginning really dictates what they're going to see for the next 90 days. Listening is where you start. I remember as a supervisor, I was jumping straight into performance reviews, and that's like the worst place that you can do is be handed performance reviews that you didn't write. And instead, I made them coffee chats. And I talked about goals and expectations and what each team member wanted to do and their talents. It was a total change and something that they didn't expect. And that was nothing but listening. And I changed the performance reviews from those discussions because the previous manager left. These performance reviews had to be submitted. And now it was their words that were being used to describe them. And there was that sense that this boss must be listening because he's willing to take that risk that I'm telling him the truth. That that was a powerful tool.

Earning Trust Before Driving Change

SPEAKER_01 4:47

You know, John, that is a great example because oftentimes new supervisors are brought in with specific goals because the previous supervisor struggled with performance or just their leadership style. But the interview process rarely prepares you for the real challenges of those first 90 days. There's no universal playbook or manual that fits every single situation. So the skills you bring to the job, like empathy, adaptability, and communication, are what you need to develop before you even start. For example, if you're tasked with turning around a struggling department, it's not enough to just implement new processes. You need to first learn and earn the team's acceptance and trust, or your changes won't stick.

Transparency With Management Teams

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yep. I mean, that's that really is the essence of it. If there is that pushback before you even begin, you're doomed. Acceptance isn't just about management, it's about you. It's about developing a cohesive team. And if you can't earn the trust or the acceptance as being a new leader, you're going to have a hard time building that trust to guide them. For instance, if you're brought in as a director and you're going to be leading managers, there's a change in terms of how that change is going to transform the organization. Share your own story. Be transparent. Talk about your goals to this management team that you have in front of you. You have to be approachable. You have to be trustworthy for these managers to understand as a director, you're there to try to support them. That's your role. And you have the ability to adapt and learn from them on what you're trying to get done in terms of a skill.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

So to sum it up, the journey to acceptance is about listening, understanding, and building genuine connections. By focusing on these elements in your first 90 days, you set yourself and your team, you set them up for long-term success.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah. And, you know, I had the opportunity to read an interesting book called The Intentional Executive. And it was authored by Patrick Furhan and Melissa Norcross. And it's a wonderful book. And it talks about really the challenges of being in leadership and how there's a high failure rate and not understanding how to manage transition versus delivering results for the company and her KPIs. And Patrick and Melissa did a great job of defining and choosing those goals and making sure that the values and the results are what you are looking for, the deliverables, looking at a way to maintain and sustain success.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

So, John, you did talk about this book before. And I remember you saying that it was a wonderful guide to help understand the first 90 days of any position. What are the key points that the book highlighted, in your opinion?

Retiring The Devil’s Advocate

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Well, what I thought was really critical was my first impression of reading a book was understanding yourself and your personal purpose. To be a bit more specific, what really matters to you the most? And if you think about it, the component of self-reflection. It's the most critical element in being a leader. And you simply aren't just chasing your salary. You're trying to find something in terms of your own space and the things that you think are important. Just to give you a story and just to deviate for a second, I remember talking to a lead electrician, and he was interested in getting another job. He had a job offer that was a five cent increase. And I asked him, you know, as he was handing me his resignation paper, whether he really felt that five cents in his salary was his best move in terms of his career. What he said next really confused me because he felt the five cents was still an example of respect on the job that he had done over time. I stopped the conversation mid-sentence and asked him to specifically tell me how he felt we were missing in terms of job recognition or professional recognition, that he would go so far as to change the job for five cents. He appreciated the respect that I gave him as a new manager, and that I was very complimentary on his performance in the past. But he felt threatened by the electrical engineering manager who was reporting to me, but more of a peer in terms of a management approach. And he was, this engineer was constantly challenging this lead electrician on his experience and his knowledge in terms of electrical systems. It really wasn't about the pay. It really was about respect. And it was respect from this engineering manager that he was looking for. So I asked the electrician to hold on to his resignation letter for 24 hours. The next morning we had a meeting, and it was the lead electrician and the engineer manager at the same time. And it was so interesting because as the engineering manager understood the challenge that the lead electrician wanted to leave and that he was the root cause, it completely threw him off base because he was very complimentary about the lead electrician to me, but he never said it to him. And now the two of them sat in a room together. And it was fascinating because they shared their own experiences and they praised each other's approaches without being prompted. I just sat back and watched it happen, and they communicated for the first time. At the end of the meeting, the lead electrician I asked to stay, and I let the uh engineering manager go. They ended with pleasantries, and it was truly a changed moment. What really was the surprise was the tears in the eyes of the lead electrician. He just needed that reinforcement. That's what he was looking for, striving for. And here I am in less than 30 days on the job. And they had been together for over 10 years and never had that conversation. So he was in the process of saying, I would like to take back my resignation. And I was tearing it up as he was speaking. I said, Yeah. We are very happy to have you here. The next time we go to a job review, though, and we have the performance-related conversation, that's when they have the pay increases. I'm going to beat your five cent increase. And we both laughed. He he understood it wasn't the money. And that really is what we're talking about here. That acceptance, whether it be the employee, whether it be the leadership team, you all represent that organization to each other. And you have to find that acceptance as being a powerful tool. And maybe I should give a little bit of some background. The humor that I got is that this electrical engineering manager considered himself the devil's advocate. And he drove the lead electrician nuts with pulling apart everything that you can imagine the man was trying to do. And they both agreed at the end of the meeting that the devil was not going to be in the room any longer. And he was going to stop using that analogy. And I think it's such a telling point that he purposely challenged the man in a way that was offensive and couldn't connect the dots. That every time he said the word devil's advocate, it was battle on. And just the interesting thing of eliminating that term was something they negotiated in that meeting. So yeah, the world doesn't need devil advocates.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

John, that's the last thing this world needs is another devil's advocate. And I've had similar conversations with leaders who felt compelled to tear apart employees to either encourage them or break them down because of jealousy. It's such an exhausting approach to leadership. It's not good. This syndrome of either being Superman or the fear of competition, therefore trying to prove how knowledgeable they are, becoming such a competitive nightmare, it has festered up in other organizations that have talented people. And I understand how hard those conversations are. So how did you handle it?

Coaching And Communication Training

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Well, the meeting with the engineering manager was really kind of telling after the meeting. And I really found it as a coaching moment for him to understand how his communication skills were lacking and how he thought this devil's advocate approach was what was making him a better leader. I actually sent him for training classes that were available through our HR department for him to understand that words have meaning and how to use language as an encouraging tool instead of a challenging tool. Some engineers consider themselves to be arbitrators of the law. So they'll look at the electrical code and they'll start defining it. And it's like watching an old case of Perry Mason, for those who don't have that reference, it's a lawyer and lawyer exchange that is just drama. It has nothing to do with trying to get the end result. It's trying to see who knows more about the law than the other. And that competition was counterproductive. And when this engineering electrical manager actually understood that importance of engaging and communicating, he became such a better leader at that point that other people noticed that he had made a significant change. And whenever those tendencies came back, it was pretty easy to say uh the devil's advocate is not working here anymore. And boom, he was right back on track.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

It again falls back on recognizing the deficiencies in your staff. Or I like to say opportunities for development. Specific, yeah, right? Specifically, your electrical engineer. That required additional training. Where am I reading this from?

Acceptance, Safety, And Lasting Change

SPEAKER_00 15:27

No, that was it. And really, the bottom line is that I sent them to a two-day seminar in communication, and the organization had already established this training program that really wasn't utilized. And finding it out that it was there the whole time, it was interesting how other people had utilized that communication class within the organization. It was probably the most fun I had in my job of helping those individuals actually take that next step.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

So throughout this discussion, we've highlighted the critical role of acceptance in leadership, especially for those new supervisors and new managers. Acceptance is not merely a soft skill, it is the foundation for building trust. It also builds psychological safety. Real-world examples demonstrate that leaders who listen, engage, and value their staff foster environments where employees feel respected and empowered. So again, those first 90 days in a new leadership role are pivotal. By prioritizing listening sessions, open communication, transparency, leaders can guide teams through transitions and earn their trust and respect. Addressing underlying concerns such as respect and recognition often matters more than compensation or even policy changes. So facilitating honest conversations and providing targeted training can resolve conflicts and strengthen the team's cohesion. Ultimately, effective leadership is about self-awareness, it's about purpose, it's about the ability to inspire and align teams. Leaders who recognize and optimize talent encourage open dialogue and adapt to changes. Acceptance is not just a management strategy, it is a mindset that transforms teams and organizations.

Rebuilding A News Group’s Cohesion

SPEAKER_00 17:35

And, you know, this story I have talked about before, and the whole idea of being accepted and being recognized and being able to say that the management team respects the individuals that work within the organization. It's a clear requirement. And it's something that you shouldn't have to do just at a annual review. It should be something you're doing all the time. And there isn't really a game plan or a manual you're going to get for building a team. You're going to see that it changes with each organization. It is really your listening skills that are going to help you make that transition. So that whole team discussion, inspiring with purpose, and finding those elements where you can find alignment. And really take the moment to step back and reward people for the talents and the work that they've done to build that team. Those are the things that really help that psychological safety piece of do they really know what I'm doing? Do they understand? And in building teams, I think that's something that you have some experience in terms of newspaper industry. And probably the most challenging was being a new executive coming on board. Maybe you can share a little bit about that moment and what it was like in time.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

So thanks, Sean. So it was actually a news group. It was major city paper and then a handful of suburban papers, but we were all under the same umbrella. And at the time we called ourselves this news group. And we wanted employees to go from one location to another for opportunities with strengthen our management team or our skills levels in different papers, whether there was a photographer, whether it was an editor, uh, whether it was a columnist. We wanted people to move around in this group so we could have the best of all the talent that we had in the organization. So I admit going to all those papers, sitting down with folks, and listening and talking. And then also respecting the fact that they were unique. And I wasn't going to take away their uniqueness. But how do we blend their uniqueness into the greater good? We were going to have local papers, we were going to have national coverage. So that was my job. It was a great job. And we were able to move on from where things had been before when they were disparate, to finally a team.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

And really, you were coming behind a broken team. And that whole element of acceptance or trust was something that you had to take on yourself. You had, you were in the position to try to build that organization's respect back again in order to make, I think you you grew the team overall in terms of making it as an organization rather than these small pockets that were little silos, if I'm paraphrasing correctly.

From Silos To Shared Pride

SPEAKER_01 20:31

We wanted pride for the whole news group, for the smaller papers, for the big paper. That was one of our competitive advantages. What was disappointing is the knowledge that within the executive team and the executive staff, that change was necessary. That was in the room. But the whole element of listening and developing an approach from the available facts was kind of disappointing. We didn't really act on the information we were getting regarding industry trends. Throughout the discussion we're having today, we've highlighted the critical role of acceptance in leadership. So as I look back on it, John, it was exciting to be part of a leadership team that was trying to build a team, trying to get folks to accept our new goals and make them their goals. And what could we do as far as listening, as far as following up on things we promised, but making people feel like part of the team? That was job one. And that began in that first 90 days. Because if we didn't had not started it then, it was never going to happen.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

And they did the pushback. They had the problems and they wanted to hear you answer the like the HR questions on what about transfers between sites, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:35

That is correct. From the town hall meetings, they didn't want to hear it or see it on a piece of paper. They wanted me to say the words and answer the question, and that's what we did. And the same thing for the sales side and the finance team and marketing team and the editorial team. We want to believe. Give us a reason to believe and accept because we're going to go into some uncharted water here. We're going to go into some heavy competition. We have to be together. You have to accept our goals and our plans and be part.

Change Agents Deliver Early Wins

Closing, Resources, And Contact

SPEAKER_00 22:01

And really that kind of summarizes what we're trying to talk about in terms of this discussion about acceptance. And it's where leadership understands self-awareness and purpose and their ability to inspire and align teams. And that's what you're you're talking about. Leaders must recognize and optimize the talents that they have and encourage that open dialogue and adapt to the changes in order to be productive. That's leadership. That's that's the core description of leadership. Organizations have to find a way to look for long-term success. And utilizing their staff is really the key to know where the talent is and giving things like being able to transfer for the first time to different parts of the organization demonstrate that you're really going to be engaged in that management strategies. How do you make that change? You're coming in to be a change agent. Well, you have to deliver on some of the things that they've been asking for. It's sort of like an easy pickup. If this is something that you want to do and we can do it, poof, you can do it. Changing the mindset. Now that's the key. So if you like what you've heard, I've written a book called Building Your Leadership Toolbox, and we talk about tools like this. And it's available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and other sites. The podcast is what you've been listening to. Thank you so much. It's also available on Apple, Google, and Spotify. A lot of what we talk about is from Dr. Durst and his MBR program. If you'd like to know more about Dr. Durst, you can find out on SuccessGrowthAcademy.com. And if you'd like to contact us, please send me a line. That's Wando75 periodjw at gmail.com. And the music has been brought to you by my grandson. So we want to hear from you. Drop me a line. Tell me what's going on, what you like, and what you would like to hear about. It has always helped us to create content. Thanks, Greg. This was fun. Thanks, John.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

As always. Next time.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Yeah.