Agreements Beat Expectations

A missed deadline can feel like disrespect, but it often starts with something far less dramatic: an expectation nobody ever agreed to. We open with a simple workplace story a budget report “due Monday” that someone thought was due Wednesday and use it to expose how easily leaders create conflict through vague requests, inherited norms, and unspoken rules. Our goal is practical leadership: less frustration, fewer surprises, and more follow-through.

We walk through the most powerful tool in the MBR framework: agreements. An agreement is not just “do the task.” It is clear what is being done, why it matters, who owns each piece, when it is due, and what support is needed. That one shift turns accountability into something people can actually meet with dignity. We also tackle the classic management landmine: “ASAP.” If everything is urgent, nothing is clear, and your team ends up guessing. We share a simple script for setting realistic timelines, confirming dependencies, and documenting commitments so responsibility is shared instead of imposed.

Then we connect the dots of leadership trends: individualized growth, emotional readiness, influence over authority, AI-enhanced clarity, and culture as a performance multiplier. We explain how AI can help track deadlines and reduce ambiguity, while trust and readiness still require human leadership. If you want a better way to lead without micromanaging, start by replacing expectations with agreements and pressure with partnership.

Subscribe for more practical leadership tools, share this with a manager who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one expectation at work you wish had been an agreement?

Transcript

Welcome And The Budget Surprise

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Well, hello, and welcome to our podcast, Success, Secrets, and Stories. I'm your host, John Wondolowski, and I'm here with my co-host and friend, Greg Powell. Greg? Hey everybody. And when we put together this podcast, we wanted to put out a helping hand and help that next generation and help answer the question of what does it mean to be a leader? Today we want to talk about a subject that I think supports that concept. So picture this. It's Monday morning. A supervisor named Lisa walks into her office, coffee in hand, ready for the new day. She opens up her email and boom, there it is. A director has sent her a message. Hey, I expected a budget report to be done this morning. What happened? Supervisor freezes. She thought that the report was due Wednesday. Her team thought that they were waiting on a data coming from another department. And now everybody's frustrated. And technically, nobody's wrong. This is the cost of expectations. And today we're going to talk about how to fix that, or should I say, how to refocus to create agreements rather than vague expectations, something that's more MBR compliant. So today we're going to dive into the most powerful tool in the entire MBR framework, agreements. And if you've mastered this one concept, you'll be able to eliminate 80% of the conflict, confusion, and frustration your teams normally see. Now, John, 80%, that's a bold promise. Yeah, it's really not bold, it's math. Expectations create reactivity. Agreements create responsibility. That's MBR 101. Like if you're going to basically ask somebody to get it an apple, well, okay, in your mind it might be an apple on a tree, but it could be a sweet apple, a crisp apple, a tart apple, a red apple, on and

Why Expectations Create Conflict

SPEAKER_00 2:24

on and on. If you understand what an agreement means, you're having the ability to communicate.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Okay, John, let's start with the obvious question. What's so bad about expectations? When I have seen performance reviews in the past, the key performance indicators are usually defined as a list of expectations for the position, as described in the employee's job description. Isn't that just accepted definition of management meeting expectations?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, but the challenge here is that expectations are technically silent. They're invisible. They sometimes only live in your head. Well, everybody knows how to do that. And maybe someone doesn't meet your expectations and you feel disappointed and frustrated and sometimes betrayed. Even if the other person never actually agreed to anything in terms of detail, expectations go beyond what is written in the job description. Reports that directors are expecting is not in the job description technically. They're silent expectations of performance and patterns that are actually from what previous administrations have done. It's not really clearly defined.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

So expectations are like mental sticky notes. We hand them out without telling anyone. You know, John, I've worked for that manager in the past. It's almost like a rite of passage to hear the director go off on their tangent of back in the day, those early days of the company, we had a formal training program that would address all the KPI reports and the schedules requirements, and then change the subject. I've caught myself requesting reports from new employees and seeing that blank stare back, like, what the heck is he talking about?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah. Yeah. And really that's the communication, a totally different subject that we should talk about, and we have, but let's keep that for another day. The issue is based on poor communication, and we all have been in that situation where our goals are not met. Because expectations are easier to assume. They feel faster. They create a leadership culture built on assumptions instead of clarity. Instead of expectations, what we should be trying to create is an agreement. Okay, John, let's flip it. What makes an agreement better than an expectation? Ah, well, yeah, that's really the

The Five Parts Of Agreements

SPEAKER_00 5:11

point, isn't it? An agreement is a shared commitment to create the basis of a conversation. And it kind of has five parts. What is being done for subject is what? The details of the information that should be gathered. Why? Why does it matter? The purpose of the data and the information is to effect a change or to avoid an issue. Who? I just love that simple request that I've heard so many times in meetings. Who is responsible for this report? Who is trying to gather the data? But the key players have to be part of the agreement in terms of owner, the people who are actually doing the report, and whatever support staff requirements are necessary to get the report completed. When? When is it due? That's the key factor. Why? Because everyone in the process agrees to the timeline, not just one person. Like in our opening discussion, it's like the director wanted the report, great, but he never sent out a timeline. And at the same time, the frequency of the report should be actually clearly defined. And the teams need to adjust their activities in order to support the report schedule. And every conversation that I found when I was working for an agreement was trying to add this one little special tidbit. What support do you need? Assume the report is new and all the players don't understand their assignments. If some of the information is time-dependent on others outside of your group, you have to bring them in in order to be effective in terms of creating an agreement. If any of those are missing, any one of those key points, it's not an agreement. It's maybe an expectation wearing a fake mustache.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

So an agreement is basically clarity with a handshake. This agreement approach is pushing the leadership to process to be thorough in his efforts to meet the company's goals.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Yep. And that's the clarity with the handshake. Accountability with dignity.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

You know, John, I like that because expectations feel like pressure. But agreements, you know what? They feel like partnership.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

That's exactly what we're trying to suggest here is an agreement creates ownership, not compliance.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

All right.

Why ASAP Fails Every Team

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Let me throw a real scenario out at you. This is something I used to hear from new supervisors all the time. I told my team, I needed that task done as soon as possible. ASAP. They didn't do it. Now I'm frustrated. I work with a peer manager like that. And he said he needed everything, every task completed ASAP. Is it realistic to believe that every task requires an urgent completion time? What's the MBR diagnosis?

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Okay. And something that Dr. Durst talked about specifically. ASAP is not an agreement. It's a wish. A wish with a deadline of whenever I panic. Yeah, exactly. And here's how the conversation should go. Just as a way of trying to give you an example. Leader, I need this completed. When is a realistic time that you can give it to me? Team member. I can get it to you by Thursday. Leader, great. What support do you need from me? Team member? Just the updated numbers. Leader, I will send those numbers today. So we're agreed, Thursday and today. I'll have the report. Team member agreed. That isn't agreement. It's clear, it's shared, and it's owned. So, John, what happens if Thursday comes and it's not done? Yeah, not like that's never happened. Well, then you don't have a performance problem. You have an agreement problem. And you have to coach what it is to create an agreement, and it's not emotional. First, you should send a confirmation email that the agreement to ensure the timing and the goals are clearly defined for the recipient, the dates, those expectations of what the end result is supposed to look like.

2026 Leadership Trends Through MBR

SPEAKER_00 9:36

So, how does this tie into the 2026 leadership trends? Because 2026 trending and what people are talking about in terms of leadership is individual growth, emotional readiness, to understand the influence over authority and how the strength of that influence can be actually applied, to understand how AI actually can enhance clarity, and the role of culture as it is a performance multiplier. Let's take the first one: individual growth. 2026 leadership demand in terms of that requirement. Leaders must grow in their strengths, their readiness, and their personal motivation. It is not a one-size-fits-all kind of development plan. MBR teaches you that responsibility is personal. People step into a responsibility kind of mindset. When they understand their strengths, they feel ownership of the event, and they choose the level of engagement. MBR's core question is what do you want? It is the foundation of individual growth. So, how do leaders actually apply it? They coach based on the natural abilities, not their job titles. They ask each team member to define their own personal goals. And when we're talking about a report, what they can do to create that report. They create an agreement that matches each person's strengths and readiness. And they avoid the cookie-cutter kind of development plans. Why does this kind of matter overall? You're trying to increase engagement, retention, ownership, and the energy within the organization. And what you'll end up doing is actually avoiding job burnout, resistance to trying to get the plan done, and even hopefully minimize micromanagement. MBR makes individual growth the overall goal and not the exception.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Which brings us to emotional readiness. The 2026 leadership demand here is that leaders must understand not just what people can do, but what they are emotionally ready to take on. So what's the NBR connection? MBR teaches that readiness is a combination of ability plus emotional alignment. A person may be technically capable, but emotionally unprepared to do the following. I'm prepared for something like fear. Their ability to create clarity, ability to handle low confidence, and like we all have, how to handle competing priorities. And how can leaders apply it? Well, they can ask questions like what support do you need to feel ready? They can check in on emotional state before assigning tasks to people. They can avoid pushing people into commitments that they haven't chosen for themselves. And then they use agreements to reduce anxiety and increase what's really important as clarity. Why does it matter? Emotional readiness is the predictor of performance in 2026. MBR gives leaders the tools to reduce reactivity from their staff, to increase confidence on their team, to build trust all around and improve follow-through. Because when people feel ready, they take responsibility.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

And the next one is influence over authority. Leaders must shift from command and control to terms that really make the difference in terms of an MBR approach of influence, empowerment, and partnership. MBR is built on the principle that responsibility cannot be forced. It must be a chosen skill set. Authority creates compliance. Influence creates ownership. So let's try to put this in phrases that might be a better example. Instead of telling somebody, you're going to be asking somebody. So the occasions where you're telling somebody is not going to get you the approach. It's really asking somebody, not pressuring them, but partnerships. Not trying to control the directives, but adding clarity to what you want as your end result. And most of all, it's not the exercise of blaming somebody. It's giving the individual the ability of choice. So how do leaders apply it? They use agreements instead of expectations. They ask responsibility-based questions. What do you want? What do you want to commit it to? What support do you need? They model responsibility instead of demanding it. They lead with consistency, not with authority. Why does that matter? Influence approach, engagement, builds trust, innovation, and initiative. When you're coming from the authoritative kind of approach, that micromanagement approach, you're dealing with fear and resistance and often silence as a reaction. That's a minimum effort kind of environment. MBR turns leaders into influencers, not enforcers.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

And then we have the most current trend to talk about. That's right, AI. AI enhanced clarity. So what's this year's leadership demand? Leaders must use AI to improve clarity, decision-making, and communication, but not, let me repeat that, not to replace human connection. What is the MER connection? It teaches us that clarity is the foundation of responsibility. AI becomes a tool for things like creating clear agreements between parties, establishing clear priorities, making sure there's very clear communication. And oh yes, the workflows are clear as well. But I'll tell you what AI cannot do. It cannot build trust, it cannot create emotional readiness, and it absolutely cannot replace human responsibility. MBR ensures leaders use AI to enhance, not replace, human leadership. So how do leaders apply something like this? This AI phenomena. They use AI to document agreements, they use AI to track commitments and deadlines, they use AI to reduce task ambiguity, and oh yes, they use AI to free up time for coaching and connection, that human aspect. Why else does this matter? AI gives leaders more time to coach, because that's what you want. You want them to be in a listening mode. You want them to demonstrate support for their people, and oh yes, develop talent. NBR ensures AI supports responsibility instead of undermining it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Great, great point. AI is a tool, not really a leadership approach. In terms of leadership, let's take the next point. Where is a responsible leader in terms of starting to shine in this concept? It's called the culture of a performance multiplier. What does that mean? Culture is no longer a nice to have, it's a strategic asset that drives performance, retention, and innovation. The connection? MBR describes culture in terms of a collective level of responsibility. And how it defines it within that work group, it's different for every person on your team. That responsible-based culture builds agreements, ownership, trust, clearly the hardest element to try to create. And in this environment, if you're doing it in a trusting format, it really does create the clarity and the emotional readiness and making that conscious choice of where they want to be, how they want to try to lead or follow. It creates a culture where people will speak up. They'll start taking initiatives and try to find problems to be solved. They'll support each other and they will hold themselves accountable. How leaders apply it, they model responsibility at the top. They eliminate the blame and replace it with learning. They create team agreements, not just individual ones. And I have found that if they use that MBR language consistently, it does make an impact on people taking on responsibility. And one of the keys is celebrating ownership, not heroics. Why does it matter? Well, responsible-based cultures reduce turnover, it increases productivity, and it truly improves morale. Strength in terms of collaboration and really innovation goes hand in hand. The culture actually becomes an engine where MBR is that fuel. And agreements support all of that. So, John, how would you wrap this up in simplest terms? Yeah. Agreements create psychological safety. People know what their expectations are. Trust, because commitments are shared, not imposed. Energy, because clarity reduces stress. Productivity because they own their work. And better AI usage because AI can support clear tasks, not vague expectations.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

So agreements are basically the leadership version of turning the lights on in a dark room.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Okay. Well, yeah. Maybe it's a little harder than flipping a switch. People perform better when they can see and understand clear directions and define the elements to be measured.

Checklists To Build Real Ownership

SPEAKER_00 20:16

So, what are the tools that sometimes help to understand what this means to implement it? An agreement checklist is probably the first place that I would suggest so that you understand that expectations and agreements are different. It's where you both know what is going to get done, where you both know why it matters, when you both own the result, and when you both know when it is a clear due date. And at the end, the magic question that is really important from a leadership perspective is what other support do you need? If the answer is no to any one of those elements, you don't have an agreement.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

So after you get that checklist together, there's the responsibility question. That's your second tool. Ask your team member, what do you need for me to fully own this? And what this does is it shifts the conversation from pressure to a partnership.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

And it's a small nuance, but if you do that right, you understand that you're trying to help the person. And that's hopefully the message that they receive. And then there's the ever-famous issue when it doesn't work, to reset the conversation, when an agreement is broken. If you start off with, let's revisit our agreement, what got in the way? What do we need to do to adjust to move forward? You are not blaming a person, you're not shaming them, you're just trying to reset the conversation. And that is the best way to reset responsibility. So if you want to transform your leadership, Start here. Replace expectations with agreements. Replace assumptions with clarity. Replace pressure with partnerships.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

And maybe stop saying A-S-A-P. Right? Because it's not a deadline. It sounds desperate. It sounds like a cry for help.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Yeah.

Resources And How To Reach Us

SPEAKER_00 22:18

So if you like what you've heard, I've written a book called Building Your Leadership Toolbox, and we talk about tools like this. And it's available on Amazon and Barnes and Nouble and other sites. The podcast is what you've been listening to. Thank you so much. It's also available on Apple, Google, and Spotify. A lot of what we talk about is from Dr. Durst in his MBR program. If you'd like to know more about Dr. Durst, you can find out on SuccessGrowthAcademy.com. And if you'd like to contact us, please send me a line. That's wondo75 periodjw at gmail.com. And the music has been brought to you by my grandson. So we want to hear from you. Drop me a line. Tell me what's going on. What you like, and what you would like to hear about. It has always helped us to create content. Thanks, Greg. This was fun. Thanks, Josh. As always. Next time. Yeah.