NFL Draft Day: What Happens When The Phone Doesn’t Ring — with Brian Holloway

NFL Draft day is supposed to feel like a finish line. For most men, it feels like a test of identity. Pastor Ed sits down with his lifelong friend and former NFL standout, Brian Holloway, to talk about the pressure behind the NFL Draft, the calls you hope you get, and the silence you fear, plus what all of it reveals about who we are when our biggest dream is on the line. 

We swap stories from the old-school league, from helmets that offered “not much protection” to the chaos of draft-day promises, trades, and sudden dead phone lines. Then we zoom out to the truth fans rarely hear: getting drafted does not mean you have made the team. Training camp, cut day, and the fight to belong expose a deeper need for every man, athlete or not: a core identity rooted in being a beloved son of God, not a job title, platform, or paycheck. 

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Transcript

Big Questions For Fathers

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What kind of father do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to become for your family and for yourself? If you've ever wondered how to step into the fullness of your role as a father, husband, and man of God, then you're in the right place. Here at the Father Difference, our mission is to inspire and equip men to be the best fathers they can be. It's a powerful mission. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can take steps toward that calling. Whether you're a father, a son, a husband, grandfather, single dad, stepfather, or just looking to grow, I believe God has something powerful for you in today's message. Whether you're tuning in live or watching this later, we are so excited to have you here. If this is what you're looking for, then subscribe so you can tune in each week to the Father Difference Live. You can sign up below. And now your host, a husband, father, grandfather, author, and former NFL player, Pastor Ed McGlass.

Two Friends From Potomac

SPEAKER_04 1:13

Well, welcome. Welcome to the Father Difference podcast. I got my best friend in the world. We met in on a high school field racing each other many years ago. Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland. Yes, Potomac, Maryland. And Brian, we were raised there. And we met and became incredible friends. And we've we've changed just a little bit. We sort of looked like this, you know, back in the day, right in the beginning of our NFL careers together. And and Brian, you know, Brian, you know, God has used him in incredible ways. Super Bowl champ, you know, he, you know, a speaker, just building incredible teams. I'm going to show this. I hate showing this, but it's good. He's got so much hardware. Look at all that hardware, man. All those NFL things. But it but his claim to fame is, you know, and his influence. I love this picture so much. Sitting around with a bunch of young people, right, after college. Right it's right the end of college, right? No, this is after the Pro Bowl. It's oh, after the Pro Bowl. And just being an influencer and a father is probably his greatest thing to fame, other than I don't have those pictures queued up, him being a crazy grandpa. And here's here's my friend, Brian Holloway. We we will welcome to the podcast today.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Yeah, it's great seeing you. I was looking so forward to this, and it sort of wanted a wonderful way to kick off the weekend. And for us, you know, some people see weekends as, well, let's go play, let's go do this. For us, the weekend is when we get ready to go to work at the highest level. And it doesn't matter. Friday, Saturday, we know it's getting ready for game day on Sunday. And even still, you know, 45 years after the draft, going through the emotions and the experience, uh, I I absolutely can still feel all the moments.

Old Helmets And Tough Lessons

SPEAKER_04 3:38

And all the yeah, and you know, I was thinking about that. Look at this. I I still have my rookie helmet. Now, a guy's out there that you you see those big uh water balloon helmets they have today. Check this out, okay? This was the technology of the day, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Wait, whoa. Let me slow your roll real quick. How did you get the highest end helmet the year that you came out? That helmet was the highest in. You can get that of the Patriots. We had strings. You had the force, you had to pay.

SPEAKER_04 4:20

You had to pay. Oh yeah, you had you had to pay extra back in that day. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. The Jets organization's gone through a lot of crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

But we got we got good helmets, but the protection on this bad boy? There's not much protection. It's basically your you know, your helmet's in there and your brain is bouncing back and forth with all those concussions. Yeah. But anyway, that we had a lot. And notice there's no face mask on there, because the last time I wore this, I got in a fight with Joe Clecko. And and this was my my number one game helmet, and Mark Gatsineau in practice, and Gatsineau rips my mask off my helmet.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

I've had many wonderful afternoons on Sunday where we enjoyed a cup of tea together on that field 100 yards by 50. Yes. And he got served maybe more than once. That's right. Or twice. Some delight from the New England Patriots.

SPEAKER_04 5:38

Yeah, that's right. Well, you that was an incredible organization.

Draft Day Reality Check

SPEAKER_04 5:42

You had a lot of incredible stories and history there with the family and the difference. So this I you know, I thought we'd talk today to kind of deliver about because people think about the NFL draft and all these players are making all this gazillion dollars. But what they don't understand is that the pool of players that have an opportunity that are sitting around that phone on draft day all the way through, I guess it's three days now, waiting for a phone call. And so few guys get a phone call. So few guys get picked. Yeah. There's four.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

There's four thousand that believe that they're have got a shot and they're going to get drafted. And those four thousand are represented by twelve hundred agents, twenty five hundred agents fighting for their to sign a contract, and you're exuberant and excited and nervous, and the weight of your family is on your shoulders and for some in in ways that are beyond imagination. I buy grandma a house, we finally have a place to stay. My six brothers and sisters don't have to live in one room anymore. That sort of thing. So tremendous amount of burden, but exciting. And but for ninety percent of them, they won't get a call.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

Yeah, I mean, it's I mean, uh what round you were you were first round, right? Right. First round, yeah. First round. And I was uh I was the second center picked in the eighth round.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

There you go. The year before you, you know, and waited around to the second day. And I remember getting that phone call. Well, congratulations. You're you're being invited to the to New York Jets have picked you in the eighth round. And I was like, awesome. And so any any money at all would have been a bonus from the per diem in college. It's not so that way today. But you know, back in my day, you know, I got a hundred bucks a week. And I was I was a gazillionaire with a hundred dollars after everything else is paid for. And which, yeah, that's it was a totally different deal.

Ed’s Draft Detours And Providence

SPEAKER_04 8:19

But I remember just kind of the nerve-wracking. And before, you know, I was picked, uh, Tom Landry called me and before the draft started and said, uh, get ready, Ed. We're considering you to be our number one pick for center. That's a big call, isn't it? Oh my god in the first round. And so I was like, yeah, Dallas Cowboys. Yeah. And they picked a guy who got hurt in training camp and really never played much at all. I don't want to mention his name. I don't want to. Mention his name. No, I'm not I'm not gonna tear him down. Mention his name. It's history. I am not gonna tear the brother down. It's not teared.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

There are a lot of people that left football to the greatest breakthroughs in their life. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:09

I know, I know that. So anyway, from that moment on, I made it my life goal that whenever I played the Dallas Cowboys, I was gonna play extra hard so that they would realize they picked the wrong guy. The wrong guy. But you know what? And get this, and then now you see how dumb I was in college. Eddie DeBartolo is a young Sound State grad. He comes to me. He's the son of the owner of the San Francisco 49ers. He comes to me the day before the draft and says, Listen, Eddie Mack, we love you. And I would love nothing better to give you a contract even right now before the draft to get you to San Francisco. We're bringing in this guy who we think could be a sleeper. We're gonna try to get him. His name is Joe. Joe Montana. We're gonna we need a center that will be with him, and we think that he's gonna, he's gonna take us to the big time. I looked at him, okay. You know, all American self, big whoop, and said, weren't you like two and fourteen? And he looked at me and goes, This is a great opportunity, Eddie Mac. I said, you know, Dallas called me, and I think I'm going in the first round. No.

unknown 10:46

No.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

And I I told him, mixed on that deal. Mixed on that deal.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

And the next day in the first round, and they could-have said the worst thing.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

Oh, the worst thing. And so they picked Randy Cross, who's a great center, great human being, and became Joe Montana's center for most of Joe's career and kept him from getting hit. And, you know, and it was like, but here's the deal. God works, and and we're going to talk about this a lot through our podcast today, but God works in all those decisions. Little did I know. That was one of the best choices of my life because I ended up in my career ending up in California and meeting Jill and getting the woman of my dreams. Yeah. And coming back to my father's land and pastoring a church. But God had to do something in me to prepare me for that.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

Grand Commission. That grand commission.

SPEAKER_04 11:52

Grand Commission. So that was my that was my draft story.

Brian’s Wild Draft Phone Calls

SPEAKER_04 11:58

Uh tell us yours, Brian.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

I had no idea when people talked about, well, you're going to be one of the top tackles in the in the draft. I I really didn't know what that meant. I was I was weightlifting and training. Our schedule was so intense because as soon as the season's over, you and I flew back home and got in the weight room. The conference was still going on. And we were training. So I would say that in some ways I was so blind with exhaustion and determination that I had, I had, I did not have any idea what it meant to be, well, your number one or two tackle in the league. I didn't I didn't know what that meant. I know that there are a bunch of scouts around. I know that I was getting a lot of calls. I know that I was flying in and out. I know Tom Landry sent a private jet and flew me into Dallas. And as I was sitting there standing, you know, on the on the star, and the stadium opens up, and it says, ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Dallas Cowboys number one draft pick from Stanford University, all American Brian Holloway. And so the crowd just roared, and there was no crowd, but it was the sound system. And then I heard someone now I'm sitting there in the stadium like this. What just happened? And then I heard, Brian, we really, we really need you. And then I looked like this, and then I heard another voice, no big dog, we really need you. And there's Staubak and Dorset. I'm like, I it was, it was mine, it was it was an experience beyond information because you can't get any bigger than that. And I was like, whoa, yeah, I yeah, yeah. And so I was certain Dallas was gonna be, but going into it, I you just you just didn't know. And you and I know we trained and we knew exactly where we needed to be doing. We knew our training schedule, we knew our running and conditioning, we knew where we wanted to be for the draft, and we knew where we wanted to be surrounded by. And so we were there and and we had uh a telephone, the old-fashioned telephone with the long, long cord.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

Oh, yeah, that goes into the other room. Most if you're a young person, we had a mobile phone, but it had a 47-foot expander cord on it. And we'd be we'd walk in the kitchen, do the dishes with a phone on our shoulder, do whatever we're doing, eat our lunch. That was our mobile phone.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Yeah, well, I I brought about 50 foot of 50 foot of the line down the down the road and uh and and hooked it up to the phone and double-checked everything. And so what happened was everybody was calling in. And I told I told my dad, I told the family, and I told my brother and sisters, like, don't have anyone call in. Nobody, nobody. Yeah. And so, but of course, they're calling in. And then and so grandma's there too. And so we had to coordinate so that she could pick up the phone and listen exactly the same time I picked up the phone.

SPEAKER_04 15:23

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Because she was delighted, she thought this was so exciting, and she goes, This was this is better than watching the Brooklyn Dodgers. I'm like, Gribble. Brooklyn Dodgers. She's old school back in the day. So yeah. So the first call was Bill Walsh. And it was seventh and eighth pick in the first round. And Walsh said, Brian, I want to pick you. And we talked about this before. You don't have any objections to coming to the 49ers. It's a first-round draft pick. I said, No, I'm very excited. He said, Good, you play left tackle, be the blind side. The general manager is going to come on here in a second. I want you to hold on to the phone. We'll be drafted in in a minute or two. I said, Okay. So the general manager comes on. General manager says, Hello, Brian, nice to talk to you. Hello, Ronnie. Nice to hear your voice. So it's Ronnie Lott. And Ronnie Lott was a dear friend of mine. And we had known each other forever. We followed each other's career. We were recruited in the same class out of high school. He's the son of a military officer. And I said, Hey Ronnie, how are you, man? And I said, you know, best of luck today. And then he asked Ronnie, he said, Ronnie, we got Brian on the phone, and we'd like to draft you, but if you're gonna be difficult to sign, we're gonna take Brian. Are we gonna have problems signing you, Ronnie? Ronnie said, nope. My light was dead. Hello. But it it was it was the it was absolutely the right decision.

SPEAKER_04 17:06

Oh yeah. Oh Ronnie, you know, what a what a uh player.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Yeah, yeah. And you know, you think about it, I'm like, I should have gone there. But the kind of history that God unwrapped and unfolded that needed Ronnie Lott to be there, and only Ronnie could make it happen, it was absolutely the right choice. Yeah, that's right. So so everybody is sitting there just rattled now. So we're all sitting there on on pens and needles because that's you know, the draft is only what 45 minutes old now? And so then I get another call. And this one's from I want to say it was Kansas City. And they called, Brian, we're so excited. We're gonna draft you. Looking forward. What are your thoughts about? I said I love Kansas City. I enjoyed being there when we were at the combine. It's a beautiful city, fantastic fans. And I was very close with Hank Stram, because he was one of the coaches on the sideline at the senior bowl. And when I was playing, I had a very good camp with them, but I had I come off the field, I was covered with blood, and I realized I it was it was my hand. I my tip of my finger was cut off. And and the coach said, Hey, listen, that's it for you, Holloway, and go get sewn up. And I said, I'm not leaving. I'll be in on the next series. Do you have a doctor here? Is there a doctor who can sew this up? Well, we don't do this on the side. I said, Can you sew this on the sideline? And I'm sitting there watching the next play. And so he goes, Well, I've never done this before. So he's injecting me on the sideline. He sews me up and uh tapes it up, go back, and I said, make double tape it. And I go back and finish the game without missing a play. So Hank Stram saw that, looked at me, and he's like, and I looked at him like I'm a tackle. That's what we're doing. And so they said, Okay, we're we're gonna draft you. Hold on. So I'm holding the phone and they go, Your press conference is gonna start right away after. Okay, the Kennedy City Chiefs draft. Wait a minute, there's been a trade, there's been a trade, and all of a sudden my line goes dead. Number two. Yeah, number two. So I was like, oh my. And I think it happened one more time, and finally the Patriots called, and and so it was very simple. Brian, we we're gonna draft you. We're very excited about you. I remember, I think his name was Dick Steinberg, really brilliant guy, one of the minds of outstanding general manager at Building Out. He he drafted me and they welcomed me to the New England Patriots, and they look forward to building out a future, a big future. So that was uh that was it was quite exciting. And and all the, you know, of course I wanted to go to the Cowboys. Yes, I want to go to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yes, I wanted to be part of the Washington Redskins, yes, but the fan, you know, who we are as young men and growing up in that fan base has nothing to do with the commission that God has determined that is for us. That we that we are that we are required and it is appropriate to bring out the rest of the gifts that he had planned when uh life was blown into us and said, There will be a man.

SPEAKER_04 20:42

That's

Making The Team Is Harder

SPEAKER_04 20:43

right. And yeah, and so and so there's a lot of so what's a what's a percentage of players today that have an opportunity, and then those and what percent is it, did you say earlier is 10% of the players are drafted?

SPEAKER_03 21:01

They're probably 10% of the players who think they're gonna get drafted actually do get drafted.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

So that's a so there's there's 4,000 players. Right?

SPEAKER_03 21:14

4,000, and you know, if you want to tighten it up, maybe 2,800, but 4,000 believe they're gonna be drafted, and there's 4,000 players that are out of the league who think they're gonna be brought back in.

SPEAKER_04 21:27

Yeah, so it's uh it's a very it's a shrinking pool. Between five and ten percent of those players get deals and get a chance to go. Now, now here's and what people don't understand if you're not a football person, getting drafted doesn't mean you've made the team.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

You're a long way for that trade station, buddy. Yeah, a long way.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Yeah, so you don't get that you don't get that jersey, you don't get that locker room thing to where now you are. on the team with the jersey for I mean in our day I think it was about eight weeks from you showing up in it minicamp and then training camp and then and then to to the end of preseason where the final cut is before the first game of the season. Yeah and I told and I but I've told ball players this and I was very very adamant about and impressed upon this when I was the vice president of the league I said if you put on the jersey once even in practice that's a career yeah and you can launch from the brand you can launch from the story you can launch from a history and it's authenticated and you go on and do many other big and amazing things and and so because you get 12 to 16 yeah let's say 12 rookies that come into camp there'll be four remaining maybe yeah yeah maybe yeah because it's a you know I I remember when I showed Jess training camp I was surprised that they were looking at seven centers for one spot pretty much no I helped load you in and I and I remembered the the offensive line coach at minicamp which is in May where rookies come in and I said hey coach I'm I'm really here to work hard he and he looks at me and he says he goes well you know we drafted you but we you know we got a couple of veterans we're bringing in I I don't think you have much chance making the team you're not strong enough or fast enough for what we need so you need to go work on that and so I went I went crazy for all that time before there gained some weight got stronger came in and one by one and I was on the seventh floor in the dormitory where uh all rookies had to walk up seven flights of stairs we couldn't use the elevator that's only for players who are only for veterans so every day after practice and see what they didn't know is that I would run up and down those stairs and I got my legs stronger every single day.

The Bible As A Father’s Legacy

SPEAKER_04 24:27

And I remember I remember those mornings in the dormitory and you hear this bring your playbook to the coach and and I was on the rookie floor the highest one and every day I'm waiting for that knock on my door and you could hear them they they'd come in on Cut Day which you see once a week and they're knocking you know hey bring your playbook to the coach and and I'd be there I had my Bible open I got my face I sleep with my face my Bible going Lord whatever you want I'm here to serve you and you know what if they cut me you got something way better for me. And so anyway one by one and then the final week I got a knock on my door hey Eddie Mac he goes oh by the way head coach wants to see you congratulations you're a New York jet football player.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 25:26

And I just I wept and I I wrote in my Bible you know you know because my my verse in the Bible was in Isaiah 4031 those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength they will mount up with wings like eagles that's right be weary and they'll walk and not faint. And I mean I I wrote all over my Bible all the things I was learning at training camp and my daughter Mary has that Bible and she reads it all the time and sees all my notes it's one of those great legacies by the way if you you make a journal as a father and let your kids read about your real journey with Jesus and good bad and there's there's there's excerpts in that Bible of mine where I had this girlfriend that I knew and I was talking about her way before I met her mom. And then she saw me struggle and pray ask God to help me and it became this legacy journey for my children because they saw and and this is one that I talk about this all the time we do as friends is that one of the most important things that your children discover about you is that you struggle with all the same things they do. And you and you turning to Jesus and walking towards him and living your life and confessing your sin and asking for forgiveness and modeling that life no matter what how cool your jersey is or what you do is the roadmap for your kids to really discover that same relationship with Christ himself and it's so important because Christ doesn't come as a taker away of life yes he he comes with chariots of gifts and resources and sensibilities and wisdoms and adventures and commissions and things of great things you know so true which is beautiful let's let's talk a little bit talk a little bit about how you as a player how you discovered your own relationship

Faith Under Pressure At Stanford

SPEAKER_04 27:50

with Jesus in the midst of playing football and balancing all that out and all the things you had to struggle with there in the share share with because back in I mean right now when you see a 50 yard line shot and ESPN makes a mistake and lets the camera look at center field of the NFL you're going to see 40 or 50 players out there on their knee praying on opposite teams. I mean God is doing something extraordinary with this generation of players that I love so much. But talk a little bit about you working out your relationship with Jesus when you were a player and and what what was that moment you know what were maybe a couple of moments where in the midst of everything you were going through Christ came through in a way that just really solidified your story and you know of being born again and and following him well you know I think it it going from you know Potomac and then flight all the way out to the West Coast that was quite a and it wasn't one of those things where you go okay God I trust you no I'm going you sent me I'm going I'm a warrior and so one of the things that I went out there the mindset is is that no matter what the situation there's there's a calling and I'm going to respond to that calling and when I got out there I was like did you have this calling for me God are you because I don't see it that way and and but it was some carving out the the the man of God that he knew was to be one of his great treasures because that's how he feels about all of us.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

That's right and so it was it was difficult leaving coming across country it was difficult being thrown in a new space and even though it was Stanford I mean everyone there's a stranger and so he's talking people might not know you went to Stanford.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

Yes yeah yeah so and and you you know to to get into Stanford's hard enough as it is being a football player might make it a little easier but it's some serious work there in school and everything else and the velocity of demand was unlike anything I'd ever imagined yeah and and here I was at Stanford my sister was at Stanford we were there three years together.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

I saw her and we know how smart Karen is yeah well yeah yeah I mean she took over everything she went in she took it over everything in every endeavor way up on Wall Street and you know all those when all of a sudden Starbuck comes in and now they're serving breakfast stuff and serving stuff for that you can hand foods and the stuff for dogs and the dog pops and my sister was part of that creation that design you know I mean she's just always incredibly brilliant.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

Yeah yeah so and and my brother incredible I went out there and it was it was I was there's a place that exists way past overwhelm at exhaustion yes and I would say that that was the place that uh God had for me and and so what what what was was there some moments there when you know when you when we get in this place of being overwhelmed we turn to our own natural strength we'll flounder you know we'll get we'll get way out there but what was there a moment at Stanford with you and Jesus that was like or maybe later or earlier that cemented in you how to to connect to you know what the Philippians calls the peace that passes all understanding right where you know you're in the place and God's with you.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

You know I think I think the hammer was hitting so hard on top of my head that that I there was no place to be I didn't venture. I didn't venture I'm like you want to hit me hit me harder you know if that's just what it no you've got to hit me. I mean I'm gonna if this is it if this is it if this is what you've declared for me you know it was like hit me and so he was carving some stuff out that was beyond anything that I could ever imagine and so that was my there wasn't a you know departure you know I'm gonna do this or you know God mad at you it's like that was blood bought bro blood brought and and so I was going to give everything in me every single day and I'd sit there after practice and in tremendous pain migraines beat up my knee operated on once the knee operating on and I'm sitting there with six ice bags studying my books and Tim Mayot and who's the other great tennis player Tim Mayotte and kind of famous one.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

Macnroe?

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Yeah Mackin walk by and they go what are you doing Holloway you're gonna be a first round pet I says and I'm gonna graduate with my class you're so stupid you're so like you've got time to study okay because you think if you think about it now I mean we were committed 100 hours a week to football that's right hundred hours there is no other student with the exception of those students that were working who had to work in order to go to school that were putting in a hundred hours now some people put a hundred hours but you didn't put in hundred hours that beat the crap out of you and empty you out so it was very difficult to study exhausted extremely difficult yeah I even tried putting ice packs on my brain because I was a pre-med painter yeah and it was like oh man how you how are you gonna catch up with all that you gotta put in yeah two on each knee and two on my neck and shoulders and and I would I would even sleep I just get ace wraps and just sleep with them on and just go just give me enough strength for another day guy I'm gonna go after tomorrow and uh you know you need to sit there and come back and talk to Ed when you go by go to 7-Eleven and you see the ice they have out there that people buy for partying and all you see is a pillow you go that would be perfect for a pillow I'm gonna use this tonight and you go sleep on an ice bag as your pillow something else oh man I was in Youngstown we had ice on the ground I just walk out and stick my ankles and my knees right in the snowpack.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

And boys I'd get those things cold right now.

Rookie Camp And Learning Pros

SPEAKER_04 35:28

Yep that was it wasn't like that out there but yeah so talk a little bit about you know going into training camp now as a rookie you know you're going to training camp and you got the all-world John Hannah at a left guard who's you know like six foot by six foot wide I mean a guy is like he got I've never seen ankles or or legs bigger than his yeah he was he was a farmer uh he's a pig farmer I guess down in in Alabama and now and done very well but you know the walking in there with your quarterback and everything that you had to deal with what was it like for you as a rookie well I had no way to wrap my head around John until you see him and then you're like haven't seen that before so I mean he was I mean literally he was he was Bo Jackson level where you're like that's oh there's only one there's only one and when you see some of that Jerry Rice level and you just you know it from jump you don't have to go anywhere else he was not allowed to hit the sled because he broke so many of them yeah I'd never seen anybody because I met him years later you know because he he he was walking with Jesus and we were having we're doing some crusade stuff together and I look at his legs and I said man where do you get your pants he goes well I get my pants I get the big the I get like five sizes too big in the waist we cut it down and then I put elastic on the seams so that the it can explain because I can't get my leg I get my leg in the pants yeah yeah he's uh I mean probably 42 inch 40 uh close to 44 inch size yeah yeah that's and they were just it was just one of those natural things and and he was probably the hardest worker on the field that I'd ever seen. Yeah he great great ethic and and what'd you learn from him uh being a player I mean what was the thing that you took away that you know you're you're out there did you start right away at left tackle or well my coach was Jim Ringo and Jim Ringo was fantastic Hall of Fame center under Lombardi.

SPEAKER_03 38:15

Yeah great line coach man and he came in and you know he told me when I come in because I held out for two and a half weeks he said young man welcome here I'll be your coach okay now we're gonna work together okay and I'm gonna be right with you all I ask for my uh is your best so he he really communicated and he and he had an understanding about me coming into camp late that I had some catch up to do and he understand also the demands that were on me so he had a there is a wonderful voice of wisdom that says you aren't going to get everything right now it's gonna take a minute and I've got I've got the skills and experience in my coaching to coach you through this but welcome to camp that's where we start and we get your playbook so he was very thoughtful and pensive and but and he says I'm not gonna push you to start could you start right away I'm not he said yes I'm not gonna do that you need to watch okay if I start you too soon it's too much yeah and so it was it was good he allowed me to get the offense underneath me he allowed me to understand how John liked to run the huddle and the momentum that the team needed and also some of the directive because in order for the team to do well they needed a powerful explosive top tier top three offensive lines in the country and that we play a very powerful form of football a very aggressive form of football where the goal is to move the line four to five yards before the running back even broke through it.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

Yeah that's right you got to have that surge before the or the defense ends up owning you when did when did when did Brady come on the

Seeing The Game With New Eyes

SPEAKER_04 40:18

team?

SPEAKER_03 40:18

Brady was four years old when I played so Brady didn't he was already there what's that he was already there then Brady was four years old oh no four years old so so now did so did you so well actually so you never grogan we had eason we had Kavanaugh and we even had Doug Flote for a minute yes yeah so yeah so with all those that that turned into how many Super Bowls for you guys so we were the very first new england patriot team ever to go to the Super Bowl and today we are number one and so we kicked the door open for the dynasty we're the the Patriots are have been to 12 Super Bowls which is number one in the National Football League yeah amazing it's funny you you kind of miss you know we're we you we see ourselves we forget how many years that you've been out there and sour years old right I mean oh yeah when that you can tell I've taken a few hits okay it was a little older than that I mean but you know when when I went out to the last Super Bowl out in uh San Francisco two months ago I mean it was astonishing it had been 40 years since we went to the first Super Bowl and it was crazy. And it was out there and they practiced at Stanford I said you've got to be kidding me so I had a wonderful reunion with friends and family at Stanford and then you know met up with Jim Pluckett and got a chance to salute him and his greatness and it was I went back and saw the athletic facility and saw the places and the stuff that you know we helped build out and walked into the the offensive room and I I got a big old picture plastered on the wall and and I got a chance to meet the new coaching staff and and because they're trying to build out because you know they're they're having to do a a complete rebuild adjusting to this NIL world. So it was good being out there. And then I was going down to watch practice and they had max security max max and I walked up and they said I'm sorry you don't you don't have credentials from this and I was like I didn't want to lean in too hard on them I'm like bro I built this place. You know I didn't I just I said listen and I had some nice conversations with them and and I verified my credentials and it doesn't work even when I bring out my ID card or passport or birth certificate it doesn't work until I I show up football cards and then it works.

SPEAKER_04 43:20

Yeah and then yeah it's just like oh yeah I have one of these in my collection we got the ancient heroes of yesterday yeah I'm like you know gosh so you know one of the things I I want to talk about too is about what players go through because you know there's a if your your core identity your core identity is just to be a football player.

Identity Beyond Football Fame

SPEAKER_04 43:51

And I mean that's one of the things I talk about a lot is that God's made us to have our core identity to be a beloved son as a man and And to where I mean that's who we really are and the roles we have. And one of the roles that I got to have was to be a football player like you. And and you've you've been a Fortune 500 speaker and you know, leadership development guy for a a lot of years. And and yet I I saw a lot of like you have as well, I saw a lot of players who, you know, they came into training camp to make the team. They didn't make it, and they really struggled in their life with who they were, because that ultimate dream, there's a lot of guys who think that the the ultimate dream is is the core identity, but it it really isn't, is it?

SPEAKER_03 44:47

You know, you could uh you could I'll tell you, you can go and sit there and have a conversation with Deion Sanders, he'll tell you the same thing. That's right. Because there is no king other than the king of kings.

SPEAKER_04 45:01

See, I I love Dion. I I love what he's doing with these players, man. Yeah. Like there's a number of these coaches that I've noticed that they've really kind of stepped into the role of being a father coach. Absolutely. Absolutely. Right? Helping these guys really discover who they are in Christ, giving them permission to you know celebrate their faith on the field. And yet, you know, I I watch him. I just I just love what he does, and it's so uh such a powerful model what a what a spiritual father is.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Yeah, and you and you can and he came a long way. I mean, for him to come and turn that corner, that's a that's a long corner.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

But uh he was like he was like all he was all-world baseball player, professional baseball player, football player. I'm surprised he didn't do basketball, too. I mean, he was just so good.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

Let me tell you, he says he had it all and more.

unknown 46:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

He had nothing.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

And he had nothing.

SPEAKER_03 46:06

And those are words out of his mouth.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

And you know, I I found it also kind of typical in the reaction to his you know, you know, because one of the things that happens in the in the social media world and what it goes on all the time is that there's no forgiveness that you can find in the social media world because, you know, no matter what you do, it could be 20, 30 years old. People remember they have videos to remember who you used to be, right? And they don't quite understand about what happened to like a Deion Sanders who you know had some checkered things in his past, but then encounters Jesus, and now he's all in for Jesus. And the the world, I which I because the devil loves because he is the Prince of the Air and the Prince of the Airways, is to try to keep us locked in who we used to be and not the new creation Christ has made us to be now.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and and it's and that transformation is substantial and it's real, and it's up to some of the older players to take some of the young puppies under their wings and uh and help them through that transition because it is no one has anything to identify with except the other veteran players. And it's it's but it's vital for them to because they'll be in situations where they'll be confronted, they'll be in situations where they'll want to explode or or fight or give

Big Family Life And Perspective

SPEAKER_03 47:46

up. I was at a dinner, took the family out, very nice place, and you know, one of those things when all the family shows up and you're like, okay, it's gonna be a $1,500 dinner.

SPEAKER_04 47:57

And so people gotta understand how many kids do you have? Eight. Eight. Yeah. And how many of those eight were hungry?

SPEAKER_03 48:12

The boys ate six meals a day, bro. The boys ate six meals a day. You haven't lived. So you go out there and go to eat dolls and bird cake and have a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 48:24

You used to call me from Costco. You call me from Costco, and you'd have to get like a panel van to handle all the groceries. And I go, well, how long does that last? Well, my my my my kids are like locusts, and so you can just hear them in the kitchen eating, you know, and it's like they, you know, until it's dad, we got no more cereal. How did you go through 20 boxes of cereal that quickly?

SPEAKER_03 48:54

We had a guy from uh delivering pizzas. Hey, you guys must be having one heck of a party tonight. I said, No, we're not. He goes, Well, you ordered 10 pizzas. I said, Yeah, they'll be gone by morning. I go, he said, Don't you feed them dinner? I said, No, they've already eaten dinner.

SPEAKER_04 49:18

That's power fathering.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Yeah, we had I was checking out of it wasn't Costco with BJs, and uh and so I've got you know five carts with me, which is typical. That's what you need. And so I'm getting ready to walk out.

SPEAKER_04 49:37

What do you link them together and just kind of like pull them?

SPEAKER_03 49:41

You I can go in there and I go, I just need five five mothers, get five carts, just fill them. It does not matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. And so I went out there to check it out, and then uh and then I go, they says, Well, thank you for shopping with us. And uh I gave him I I think I gave him a credit card or something. No, I said, Yeah, I'd like to sign up for the BJ's card or whatever it is. He goes, sir, we don't, we're not gonna sign like you, like you, you aren't gonna pay, like we can't accept that. So I I know what's going on. They see the brown skin and they they start getting a little crazy. And I go, Well, you do accept cash, don't you? And they looked at me and they pulled out a wad like $2,000 and started peeling it off. I said, Here, is that okay? He goes, uh, yeah, that was and then somebody goes, That's Holloway, bro. That's Holloway.

SPEAKER_04 50:41

That is Holloway. Well, you've been an amazing great. Now you're a grandpa to how many kids? Eight, ten, twelve, don't really know. So they're reproducing as we speak.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

I mean, like, like the kids, I told them, once you once you hit 35, I don't need to know your names anymore. I don't. I don't. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 51:06

You know, I have this little trick on my iPhone. I put in all my grandkids in and their birthdays, and I have them in a category. And so when when they all come around and I had to fit, oh wait a minute, well, which one is this? I can just look at my phone and go, oh yeah. I got their pictures.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

I I got a sheet, a handwritten sheet sitting on the kitchen table with all their there's nothing like being a father in a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

Hold on, hold on. Yeah, no, no, I wouldn't see this. Yeah. Let's do that. Well, hey, we're a little uh break here. He's getting some. Know him well. And so you might be watching today, and and uh we're gonna talk a little bit more, and then uh you'll we'll send you on your road about uh the shock and awe of of of really uh NFL draft day. And and so I'm here with Brian Holloway, and there we go. There's the list. And still writing. Oh my gosh. I know that's that that is that that's you you've enlaminated that sucker, man. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Yeah, because everyone in this house that goes through here has got food on their fingers. That's why.

SPEAKER_04 52:35

Yeah, that that is so

Turning Regret Into Purpose

SPEAKER_04 52:38

good. So take as we we're gonna tie this together, I want you to uh take a moment and share about maybe even some examples you've seen, but how God can uh really use what which might feel like a defeat for a young player that to not make the team in the NFL or not get that NFL identity, and how you've seen, you know, in your years and and both of us have seen guys who God graduates those players, you know, from that missed opportunity into something just extraordinary where they, you know, they because they've done all the work, they got all these things in them. And then there's also guys who maybe struggle for years when they lose that job. We've we've even had players that you both you and I have known that we played with after they retired and lost that sense of identity of being a player. Some of those guys even ended their story, ended their life. And how, you know, how the true identity of being a son, a beloved son, is the the only way to really survive the ups when you think you're all that, and the downs when you think you're nothing. So why don't you speak into that to our friends that are listening?

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Yeah, well, I I'd say this, and this is something that the veterans teach the younger players. And so for the and and if a if a player has a a real man, a father in their life, and their father's grounded with the heart of God, they'll hear this. And and I share this to anyone that'd be listening right now who's who's living with tremendous regret or or sorrow or difficulty or or anger is is incredibly destructive until you turn it into power, and the hand of God does that. And so when something like that, you get to those why God moments, like why, why, why. And I tell ball players this I said, imagine what it's like for an archer to pull the bow back and they pull it back farther than it's ever been pulled before. So much so that it is it is so taut that once the archer releases that, it will soar at a height in a place unseen before, never imagined. And so going through those difficult times is is very much like the same. And if you've never seen it before, and if you've never had anyone that can talk about it, having gone through it before, it's very difficult. But if you have a a mentor or father to sit there and go, you will do incredible things beyond beyond this game. And for some, they became lawyers, for some, they became doctors and surgeons that they needed. For some, they became leaders in in literally elementary school, and they found out that that's where their greatest love is. They've been someone that has taken on a position in any where they're they're they're having to be the lead in a driving performance in a factory. And all the lives that they they they were designed and commissioned to touch, you know, not one or two lives, the hundreds of lives that they were responsible for. They will sit there and come to place going, Yes, this was this was this was the hand of God. Yeah, this was this was the answer to prayer. This is the exact prayer I I was praying going into football. No, this is the prayer. This is this would have blocked my whole future had I gone out there and played. This was an answer to prayer. I just couldn't see it.

SPEAKER_04 56:41

And so that kind of was we we don't see it because we we've convinced ourselves that that horizon of making it playing for 10 years or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 56:52

But we don't know. We we don't in this younger. Yeah, it's not. But we don't know, you know, because that's that's all we could see, and that's all that's been shown to us. But as we get out and live a little bit, then all of a sudden you get to a new place. And so you'll be sitting there and find yourself in front, leading a charge to places that you never imagined, and then you have to have skills unlike anyone had ever seen. I remember I was getting into my car and I was putting a tying a mattress on top because a bunch of people, family was coming in, and this guy came out of his car screaming at me, and I said, Wait, what, excuse me? He says, You're leaning on my car, get out of my car, he's yelling, right? So he was up, he was he had to be from New York or New England or something. I mean, he was a customer of Blue Street, and he was every bit of five foot. And he got out of the car and he was still yelling at me, and and I walked over him, and then he it occurred to him at some point that I was six, seven, you know, three fifty, you know, and I looked at him and I said sir, and I pointed a finger, I said, Today, sir, you will live. And I walked away. And he got even madder. But I mean to be able to be in a situation like that and given the strength and courage and wisdom that is beyond years, I mean you're able to operate and perform and do things that football can't give you. And so and so there'll be you you will you will have blessings beyond what you imagine for yourself in football.

Fathering Through Leadership And Grace

SPEAKER_03 58:40

It's in the Bible, it's God's promise.

SPEAKER_04 58:42

It is, and and plus, you know, one one of the great things that you have done for years is that you've been a big-time influencer in corporate American and Fortune 500 companies. And I mean, if you go to BrianHolloway.com, you will see all of the presidents and and people that Brian has influenced for Jesus. And it's not just about football, it's it's about the character of Christ that God puts in you, that no matter what vocation you're in, you can become one of the highest callings. I think the highest calling of a man is not to be the leader of a country, et cetera. It's to be a father or spiritual father of something. A family, maybe into a company, because you know, a great leader in a cunt in a company knows how to really father those employees. And you've met some you've met some leaders in business who had that kind of heart, and they built these incredible teams of men and women around them, and they did incredible things in their life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:00

And if you want to scale, which is uh basically a fancy way of saying to do go bigger, get wider, get deeper, get easier, where it's sustainable and scalable, and here's the fancy word declining marginal cost, which means I can get bigger, faster, stronger, easier, uh, with less effort, less energy. It's in the Bible, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:30

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:31

It's in the Bible. So I mean that's that's the speed of grace, that's the speed of mercy, that's the speed of forgiveness, that's the speed of reconciliation.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:42

That's right. That's right. So good, my friend, and so good that you came here. We're gonna, we're gonna we've talked about this, we're gonna do a bunch of these and just have a conversation. Two two brothers from different mothers who almost look alike. I mean, if you notice, if you notice we're I'm getting, you know, we're just you know, we're just and really, you know, and he has been my best friend and for ever since we raced one another at Churchill High School many, many months ago, and we were listening to Earl Clue and Keith Jarrett, great piano in Bravo, you know, the clone concert. If you've never heard that concert, wow, I play it all the time.

Forgiveness As Real Power

SPEAKER_03 1:01:33

And one other thing I want I want to I wanted to say to uh to those listening, and this is uh very profound, and when I heard this, it was Tom Skinner. And he and he said this. He talked about empowering and the man and then the thrusting and the the the strength of uh legions of angels. He said that and he talked about the way to procure the greatest amount of power and force is to forgive someone that doesn't deserve it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:05

That's right. Boy, that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:07

And uh and if you don't forgive, you become the person that you won't forgive. That's right. You become who you won't forgive.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:20

Wow. Wow, what a I love Tom. We used to hear him in college together, and I got to go with him, put on a cowboy hat, and he put me on the streets of New York City down in Harlem, and had all these kids come around sharing the gospel. What an an amazing. Yeah, he wrote a great book years ago called Uh If Jesus is the answer, what is the question?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

Yeah. He was the pastor of my wedding. He was the pastor of my wedding.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:50

Yeah, and just oh, it's so, so, so good. What a what a great memory, Tom Skinner. And he sewed, he learned the value of sewing in the next generation. And if we tie this together, you know, the father difference and kind of our, you know, what we're all about. When God the Father makes a difference in you as a man or as a woman, if you're sneaking into this guy's podcast, you know, then you'll be able to make that same kind of difference in people that you love. And God's made us as men to not just be isolated on there. He's made us to reproduce and to reproduce what he sows into us to give out. And that's what fathers do. And it's never too late for you to get your family back. It's never too late to turn your marriage around. It's never too late for you to maybe rediscover a brand new season as a man. And we hope this podcast just grabs your heart a little bit. And and one of the keys we deal with a lot, you shared right at the end there, the issue about forgiveness. It's it's the it's the way to never become a slave to hatred, anger, bigotry, et cetera. It's the way to connect with other people and restore your relationship and not be bitter. So if you'd like to know more about that, we got tools. And if you want to get a hold of Brian Holloway, you can find him all over the you know the world. Just put in Brian Holloway, you'll see his beautiful mug, or go to his website, BrianHolloway.com. And if you'd like to find out about what we're doing, you can either uh search for Ed McGladson or Ed Teddy McGladson or thefatherdifference.com. And we're so grateful you're at my podcast with my friend. And so we're going to end this in prayer like we do.

Prayer And Next Steps

SPEAKER_04 1:04:52

So, Brian, would you pray us out for those that are been watching today?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

Sure. And uh God, thank you for your strength and love and mercy. Thank you that we don't have to be perfect, that you love us where we are, and you come with the strength, you're always there, and you have a victorious, incredible, wonderful, inspirational life that lives beyond this earth to eternity. And it's a promise that you gave when you uh went on the cross and you took the burden and weight and the stress, press stress and pain of all our sins, and we are forgiven. We thank you for that. We live in the joy and happiness of your promise, we live in the excitement and laughter of the next new day, we live in the joy and lightness and fun of the exciting, and we declare that today, moving forward in this instance and forever, marks the beginning that we can look back at today and say, today, things change. In my life forever. And Lord, lock that door in the name of Jesus so they can never go back. In Jesus' name I declare, and I fire all the long bows of prayer. Amen.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:16

Amen. Thank you, brother. Good to be with you. You've been an amazing blessing and friend to me for most of my whole life. And so, hey, we'll see you next time.

unknown 1:06:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

Much love. Love to all the family.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:34

If you've enjoyed what you've seen and heard today, and you want to know more about how to be the husband and father your family really needs, please go to the fatherdifference.com and click on the Fatherhood Academy and sign up today. It only takes one loving father to change the course of generations and one perfectly heavenly father to begin the process. May God bless you, and we look forward to seeing you in the Fatherhood Academy.