Find Your Lady Tribe

Charting a New Course in Fitness and Fulfillment

• Brenda Billings Ridgley • Season 3 • Episode 10

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Have you ever stood at the crossroads of health and hesitation, only to find the courage to take the path less traveled? That's exactly what Bernette Sherman did, and it changed her life. Her compelling midlife transformation is at the heart of our latest episode, where she shares the story of her health scare and how it led her to a remarkable journey of fitness, nutrition, and self-discovery. Burnett's candid reflection on embracing a healthier lifestyle is not just stirring; it's a beacon for anyone looking to navigate their own wellness odyssey. Her commitment to self-care and the impressive strides she's made exemplify the empowering shift that can happen when one decides it's never too late to rewrite their life's narrative.

This episode is packed with Burnett's treasure trove of practical strategies for those ready to make substantial physical changes. She simplifies the complex process into actionable steps, starting with the power of small daily movements and mindful eating.  Whether you're seeking to lose weight, gain strength, or simply find more vitality in your day-to-day life, Burnett's insights are inspiring. Join us to discover how you can harness this energy and embark on your path to a more vibrant, purposeful existence.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back, beautiful souls, to another season of Find your Lady Tribe. My name is Brenda Ridgely, your host. You know there's a certain kind of magic that happens when women of a certain age come together. We've weathered some storms, discovered our strengths and are ready to tap into the wisdom we've accumulated to create our next big thing. This season we're diving deep into the wall spring of longevity. We'll explore how to nurture our minds, bodies and spirits so we can not only live longer but live vibrantly. Whether you're dreaming of traveling, starting a creative pursuit, building an empire or even saving the world Yep, that's right, saving the world. This season is your guide to building the foundation for a life filled with purpose, joy and an unstoppable sense of self. So grab your cup of tea, settle in and get ready to be inspired. But before we get started, I want to remind you to subscribe. Give us a thumbs up if you're enjoying the show and share it with your fellow midlife goddesses. Together, let's create a wave of empowered women who are redefining what it means to age gracefully, powerfully and with a whole lot of Lady Tribe spirit.

Speaker 1:

Welcome, my friends, to Find your Lady Tribe, a place to connect to your passions, purpose and people. This season is all about longevity and I've had the opportunity to speak to some amazing experts on things like brain health, hormones, menopause, body image, diet, exercise and so much more. Today, I am super excited to have a conversation with Burnett Sherman, who, in the last three months of 2023, dropped an incredible, yet healthy, 30 pounds. Burnett is a creative empath author on several multi-generated books. Creative empath author on several multi-generate books, a playwright and intuitive, she is about that Shiro life and seeks to create and share an epic life with more wellness and love. Thank you so much for being here, burnett.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Brenda, for having me. I'm excited.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I'm so excited to have you. I just have to my first question to you. In our conversations leading up to this, you shared that you came to a decision point back in September of last year that has changed really through the trajectory of your life. Will you share with us what events led up to that decision?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, absolutely. And I just want to tie this back to. If you know anything about what they call the hero's journey, I'll call it the Sheryl's journey. There's always, you know, you're going through ordinary life and then something happens, and that's that call to adventure.

Speaker 2:

And for me it was in August. I had a lot going on. I I was, I'm a writer and I was actually promoting the book in red. I did a couple of events and at the very end of the month I was at one where I was giving a talk on world building and in preparation I really had to go back and like, think about what I did. So I could explain it to someone else and I thought about those different journeys that she was going through in her own story.

Speaker 2:

And then someone asked me if I like going to the gym and I said no, just flat out. Like it was literally that same weekend. I was like, oh, I don't like going to the gym. But within that same week, about a week of time had passed, maybe before, and I discovered this lump in my breast and I was like, huh, what's that? And it was one of those things where I'm not, you know, religious about checking anything. But I was laying down and it came on me. I'm an intuitive Check. It I did and there was something there and I said okay, and I'd already had a situation with fibroids that were causing discomfort again. And you know, the doctor said my uterus was like a four month pregnant uterus. You know, the doctor said my uterus was like a four month pregnant uterus and I was like, ok, I'm going to have to take care of these things and if I'm going to take care of these things, it's going to take a toll.

Speaker 1:

How am I?

Speaker 2:

going to be ready for that? How am I going to take care of my body? I have to get my body ready to deal with whatever's coming. That was that was my call to. Adventure was saying oh now, I didn't know exactly what was going to happen, I just knew that I needed to be around for the long haul I've got a 12 year old at the point.

Speaker 2:

At that point he was 11, 11 year old and the 21 year old and I was like I, I've got things to do in this life. Finally, being around a long time, I have to take care of this body. It's the only one I have. So on September 10th I said, okay, I'm, I'm going to start walking. That's really like all I said and I got on the treadmill. I snapped snapped a couple pictures just so I could mark the date.

Speaker 2:

My husband had joined the gym like a month before and I hadn't gone, even though he had like free buddy pass, because I didn't like going to the gym. So I hear you right, and that was the reality that I I didn't. But I went with him like that Monday and I was like okay, and I signed up for a training session and next thing, I know I'm there five days a week and committed, I took it seriously like a job and I took the nutrition part seriously, cause one of the things I learned was, yes, you can work out all the time, but if you don't do the nutrition part, you're not going to get the results long term that are sustainable. And for me, I needed sustainable long term health and a long body to be healthy.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely to be healthy, absolutely. I want to hear certainly more details of, like something had to spark in you to say, all of a sudden, some person who doesn't like to go into the gym was committed like that. So I want to go there. But before I do, I want to kind of roll back a few years and we talked about this a little earlier ourselves too is kind of when we became moms. Sometimes we put ourselves on the back burner and I and this is probably part of that story too how did you get there to this point where you had to make what you felt like for your health?

Speaker 2:

you had to make this change yeah, those years leading up to to now, but I would say in the past, since, since, since you know 2020, about four years ago this little thing happened around the world Right and and that that took me for a spin. I mean.

Speaker 2:

I'm not, I'm not the only one. At that point, I had just, you know, had a great 2019 and I had all these ideas about the things I was going to do in 2020. And, I promise you, in the first month of COVID, I put nine pounds on. I was like oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

I said what in the world? But it wouldn't go away. I'm OK, this is not cool at all, but the problem is it just kept going and it was like the stress eating feelings and a lot, of, a lot of things were happening in my household the stress and illness in my family which took a toll for an entire year, family which took a toll for an entire year, and I didn't realize. You know, I'm trying to hold it all together as mom and wife and making sure everyone else stays kind of as good as possible as normal as possible yeah, and I realized it.

Speaker 2:

like I'm eating more than I should, I'm not exercising. I took my own stress out and I wrote a book that I literally dissociated. This book is the product of dissociation. I created a whole world where I had some control over what was happening.

Speaker 1:

Wow, yes, I definitely want to talk more about that. That's so. It was great that you had that creative outlet and it's so interesting that you made it about controlling the universe.

Speaker 2:

And yeah, I was like well, I didn't realize at the time that that's what I was doing. It was literally only after I came through this past three, four months and I looked back and I was like oh, that's what that was about yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1:

So let's fast forward back to now. All of a sudden, you are in the zone and you've like committed. So what if there was anything that flipped the switch for you? There was anything that flipped the switch for you.

Speaker 2:

What was it, and you know what was your plan of action as you went on this new, you know health journey so I'm a Capricorn and I'm stubborn, so like if I say I'm not going to do something, I'm not going to do it, period. But if I say I'm going to do something and I put it in my mind I'm going to do it, then I will do it. But I have a strong reason. I knew I needed to be healthy. I mean, I've tried diets before. What woman has not tried diets before? And they don't go anywhere. You don't have the success. You do it for two or three weeks and then you're back to normal.

Speaker 2:

But this was different, because I promised myself every single morning I would say okay, you're doing this for you. I would wake up, you're going to work, this is for you, you're going to show up for yourself. And then I could see changes because I was. I was very committed to the nutrition part and the physical fitness part and I kept saying I'm going to show up, I'm showing up for work, I'm showing up for work. And I decided at that point I was like when was the last time I did that for me?

Speaker 1:

But you'd made a decision and you. I get that, I totally get that. When in get that when in your brain you've, you've, you've said this is happening and that became your drive and your motivation, because you had, you've said it will be and it will be, and I saw the pictures I took on that September 10th and I saw the.

Speaker 2:

I saw how I looked in that picture and it was almost like I. I didn't realize that that I looked like that. It wasn't bad, it was just I knew what healthy was supposed to be for me.

Speaker 1:

Hey, lady, just wanted to take a moment and interrupt right now in the middle of the show to ask you to subscribe. Yes, press that button right now. This show is all about you, the midlife woman. Let's do this thing together. So join us, subscribe now. So you had a very healthy weight loss basically. I mean it was really quick if you think about it. But you know, two, two and a half, three pounds a week is very, a very healthy way to lose it the right way. I mean, what was your strategy? And did you hit any? Like? I mean, in three months you had to hit a road bump or two just going. Oh, it was hard. Share that with us.

Speaker 2:

So it's interesting, I knew going in that I was going to lose my. I told my trainer. I said I'm losing 30 pounds by the end of the year. She said, well, most people might lose 15. And, like I told you, if I stand with I, just ignored her. I just said I just nodded politely, I was like I'm losing 30 pounds by the end of the year. That was what I said. Said so, my strategy was one I tracked and I tracked and tracked. It worked for me. When we went to Turkey, yeah, I gained weight you know well, I mean I was.

Speaker 1:

You gotta live though too right, you gotta enjoy.

Speaker 2:

I mean the moment that now is the only moment we have really, so when that's there, you have to you have to enjoy it and I was like I was like I am not going to turkey and not enjoy the turkish food in the cuisine. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna enjoy.

Speaker 1:

I thought you meant the.

Speaker 2:

Thanksgiving turkey. Oh, oh, no, no.

Speaker 1:

It was also Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I gained like four or five pounds, but I knew how to lose those pounds. I knew what my body liked to eat.

Speaker 1:

I knew.

Speaker 2:

So I knew how to do that, but I realized I still had the tools and I still had the motivation, because I haven't reached my goal. I was close but I hadn't reached it. But I did.

Speaker 1:

I returned to the gym and I was like this is great, yeah, Great. So will you share with us a little bit beyond working out lifting. I don't want to be a Sherry whole diet, but was it, you know, paleo, Was it? Uh, you know what?

Speaker 2:

I do so when I was on my the core, but when I did my three months of shedding all that weight, I used macros. Now, if you're having this is this is important and I am not a dietician, so this is not a plan that I'm saying. This is. I'm not giving you medical advice or any of that, just all the disclaimers based on my experience. Um, and what I did? I used macros. Those are macronutrients proteins, carbohydrates and fats and you split those as percentages and you eat. But for me, I ate about 40% proteins, 30% fats, 30% carbs. Now, if you haven't worked out in a while and you're just starting your journey, if you can do it that way and consistently show up for yourself in that gym and eat good proteins, good fats, good carbs, and I shouldn't say good because there's. I shouldn't say good because then that implies that there are some that are bad, but there are some that are going to serve your body better.

Speaker 1:

And there's good choices and bad choices probably right, it's really a calorie deficit.

Speaker 2:

It's calories in versus calories out. You can do it. Will you have muscle tone? Will your blood circulate through your body as you want to? You might not have the body composition you want or the health outcomes you want long-term, but you can. Right, but you can. But there's also this, this thing of what's your body want and need. So I ate a lot of. I ate a lot of chicken, chicken breast, fish, poultry I don't really eat red meat, so I didn't do that but fish, poultry, those are my main go to. Cottage cottage cheese, which is packed with protein. I had certain foods that were go-to snacks and meals and I would prep them. I would do sometimes five meals at a time and put them in containers so that when I was ready to eat I didn't go into the kitchen hungry and no fatal plan without a plan.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I never got hungry people. I mean it's hard to believe, but like I did three months. Um, what people said, were you on a diet? I was never hungry, I was constantly eating. It was to the point where, when I first started, my husband would laugh at me because I couldn't finish meals. I was like this is so much food I I can't eat it. I'd be like put it back in the leftovers in the fridge and then like the next meal. I'd be like I've got them some of this and some of that because I was choosing more nutrient dense foods and so they were filling, they were packed with the macros and micronutrients and I'm getting all this good stuff. So I finally had to break it up where I was eating like five or six times a day just because I'm a slow eater to start with, which is actually a tip. I would say that's one of the biggest tips for controlling your intake is just slow down.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, and be with your food right. Just be present with it, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Be present, enjoy it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that's huge, that's huge yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I was like yes, these are the things that keep you living for a long time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. So now let's just kind of like shift a little bit our gears and tell us what the Shearer's journey is for those of us out there that don't really recognize what that is, and how do you relate your story of weight loss to it and what you're doing, you know, going forward.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes. So, as you can tell, I'm a writer and I love writing strong female leads. So that's not all of my books, because I did write one about my great, great great grandfather but most of them are strong female leads and in most movies, books, stories are going to have a pretty common storyline where you're going to see the shero in her everyday life just going about the normal day-to-day things and that was me in August.

Speaker 2:

Right first half of August, I was just being the writer me and the mom me and then found the lump and then went to the doctor about the lump and the fibroids and was like huh, yeah, they're there. It's like, okay, something has to change. And that's that moment where you're having the. It's not a crisis, necessarily, it's not to be a crisis, but something big happens where you can't stay in your comfort zone anymore. You know that ordinary life you get a call to adventure happens and a lot of times in movies and stuff there's initial like no, I'm not going to do it whatever. Refusal um for me. I think I've done enough.

Speaker 1:

No's prior a little bit yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean just two weeks before I literally had said no to someone who was like oh yeah, you come here and work out at my house I have a gym. I'm like I don't like the gym, but life changes quickly sometimes and so you know, you get to that point where you're saying yes to that call to adventure and then you have to get support around you.

Speaker 2:

So, in the movie, a mentor shows up, a helper shows up. You seek that guidance or that wise counsel, someone who knows more than you do in that moment about what you're trying to do. For me, I went to the gym and I got a trainer. She knew what I needed to know at that moment to help guide me.

Speaker 2:

So you've got that part and then you start moving through the challenges and for me it was it was physical, a lot Like you start working out after you haven't been doing it for a while. You feel it. Everything feels hard. I mean, and I felt sometimes like I'm in this gym and these people are so fit. And here I am and you know I'm struggling to do this. I'm struggling to do that. I don't like the way my clothes fit, trying to wear the baggy t-shirt like it was. You know, those are the, those are real struggles a lot of people um have that keep them from going to the gym, unfortunately. But literally you're going to the gym so you can get healthy and fit and it's like this catch-22. But you know, I dealt with that myself, just trying to be confident enough knowing I'm there on purpose yeah, and everybody has their own Shiro's journey, really.

Speaker 2:

Right, whatever it is for you, everyone, probably. If you start thinking back, oh, I remember when I said no five times and I finally said yes, yeah, yeah, and then I, and then I got help. Yeah, I finally found the guide, the mentor, the coach, the someone who knew better than I did in that moment for where you were. You know, especially when you look at stories where they have to go through that intense training for battle that's all the physical part, right, and they have to take control of their mind. That's part of it. And then they are, they're always connecting with something and you know, I think of like Yoda or something you. You go into that place where you're committing, you're connected with that higher sense of yourself, whatever you want to call it. It's all body, mind, spirit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I'm a firm believer in that. Accepting a challenge of sorts, something that's uncomfortable, hard, hard things, and just stepping up to the plate and saying yes to those hard things Becomes just like this, opens the whole floodgates of other opportunities and great things that you did not expect from, and you've mentioned several already. Yeah, it's just, it's just fantastic, and we wouldn't be here today if that didn't happen, right.

Speaker 2:

Right, right it is. It's amazing because you start opening up one thing and then other things can flow through and a lot of times you might not even realize that you were blocked or why stuck. Yeah, but we are very we're physical beings and I had to remind myself that we are physical and it's we have to get into our bodies.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, bernadette, if you had to give if you had to leave our listeners with two or three just encouraging. You know, get started tips to make a big shift, a big physical change in their life. What you got for us.

Speaker 2:

So I would say there's three, three areas. There's the physical, so movement try to move more. I don't want to tell anyone. Move 30 minutes three times a week. If you can, great. But if you are moving zero, try five. Yeah, move for five minutes a day. If you're doing 30 minutes, try five more. So just try to move more and get into the habit of showing up for yourself consistently in your physical form and then for nutrition, slow down, slow down, slow down the speed at which you might eat your food, slow down the speed of your decision to get food. So when you, when you walk into the kitchen and it's instinct to open that refrigerator or to open the pantry, slow down, take five. Just say you know what? Look at your clock, look at your phone. What time is it?

Speaker 1:

I'm going to walk away.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to do something, I'm going to read something, I'm going to go clean the bathroom, I don't know. Just take five minutes so that you separate yourself from that impulse and do something else. If you even remember five minutes later that you walked into the kitchen wanting something, then go back and get it, but if you don't, that means you weren't really hungry. Right, it was an impulse food moment and we all have them, so just slow down. And then the third is, and then the last thing is mindfulness. Really, just again five. I love the power of five. Just take five minutes and be mindful between meals. How does your body feel? They're really getting a sense of how your body feels when it's hungry, when you think it's hungry, when you're feeling satisfied, like what are those feelings like? And even you know if you think you're getting hungry, it's fine. But take a moment, take a breath in this and just feel what that feels like in your body, so that you start understanding what it feels like to be hungry.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, A lot of people don't really recognize that feeling anymore because it's there's not a fast in there anywhere yeah, and and feel that.

Speaker 2:

And then when you're finished eating, feel that too. How's that feel? Are you satisfied? Are you over full? Have you had enough? Before you go get that second helping, sit with yourself for five minutes. Don't just go up and go get another plate. Just sit there and feel your body, enjoy conversation.

Speaker 1:

You know, yeah, all of your tips. I mean move more, so add five. Slow down when it comes to food, so weight five, and then be mindful, so take five.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, love it. It's the power of five, power five. It's simple. I mean it's you don't have to do. I'm a proponent of keep it simple, don't over complicate it life is complicated enough yeah, awesome.

Speaker 1:

So how do our listeners find you, bernette? You've got a wealth of information. What would it, whether it be your coaching, your writing, all this great stuff.

Speaker 2:

So the easiest way is through my website, bernetteshermancom, and then I'm on Instagram and TikTok as IamBernette, i-a-m-b-e-r-n-e-t-t-e, and of course, my link tree is also I. I am Burnett. You can find all kinds of stuff, just Google me.

Speaker 1:

I love it. I love it, and I will put all of Burnett's links in the show notes. Whether you're watching us on YouTube or listening to us on your favorite podcast service, we're so grateful you're here. My final question for Burnett is how do you tribe?

Speaker 2:

you're here, my final question for Burnett is how do you tribe? This is an interesting question. I'm going to try to keep it short, but I'm a writer so I don't keep things short, I am going to try. So this has probably been the most difficult thing for me as an adult.

Speaker 2:

When I was younger, I was in a relationship where I was pretty much isolated from other people, and so I had one friend who I was able to hold on to, and then she moved away, like in 2007. And I had a really hard time building new relationships. By that time I was remarried, I had a child, I was working and life was like oh okay, it's hard to meet people out there. And then, when I left the traditional workforce, it was even harder, because then I was an at-home mom with young ones and my husband was an executive, and so he was very busy and I was, I was home. It's like I couldn't go off. There was no girls nights out, there was none of that, and so it was really difficult to tribe, it was really difficult to connect, and so finally, now in the past few months, I have been making a real effort because I said this is the next piece.

Speaker 2:

Right, like I need. I need friends who get me and I know I'm a little different, so that's. I need friends who get me because I'm not the ordinary person. I do things a little differently and I'm not the ordinary person. I do things a little differently and I'm meeting people and I believe the universe is bringing people into my life right now who like yeah, this is cool. I met one person at the Black Writers Weekend I was talking about doing all this writer stuff in August of last year. She's a power lifter and, like first female black female bobsledder in the in the world I think, and definitely in the United States, and she was there because she's writing a book.

Speaker 2:

We connected and then I started lifting and she followed my journey and stuff and she said, hey, if you ever want to learn some stuff in power lifting, I'm a world-class power lifting person and so I was like yeah, yeah, and so we started like powerlifting and then I started helping her with her book and it was just like this cool synergy where I'm learning powerlifting from her, I'm helping her with her book and like the marketing communications, like all that other fun stuff and and we just like are great friends now where we're gonna have, you know, lunch tomorrow and talk about like strategy, but it's, it has to be very intentional, is what I find is you can't wait, you have to reach out, and for a long time and I still have to deal with this.

Speaker 2:

This is one of my things I still have to deal with is thinking, oh, they don't want to hang out with me, or you know, maybe they didn't, maybe they didn't call me or invite me because they don't want to hang out with me, they don't like me, like, but that was that rejected kid as a child, you know. And so I I found myself like or maybe they're just as busy as you are.

Speaker 1:

Right. Isn't that interesting. That's how all of our minds work, renette, and you're just a lovely example of that, because we've got these tapes playing and our ego rearing its ugly head and all these woulda, coulda, shoulda, and you know what are they thinking, and they're most likely just right in the same boat as you and would appreciate that invitation. So I'm so grateful you shared your, your tribe journey and where you're at in it, and it's okay to be kind of at the beginning of it. It really is. You got to have recognized it and be starting down that path. It's just. I applaud you and it is.

Speaker 2:

I'm excited. I'm like I'm gonna make friends this year.

Speaker 1:

That's right, absolutely well. I couldn't be just more grateful to have you in it and have gotten to know you, and we are definitely staying connected. Yes, I always wrap up my podcast with the final line in my book Lady in the Tribe, and you're here and I'm here and our guests who are listening all part of this. When three or more gather, we are tribe. Thank you so much for being here, bernette. Thank you, brenda.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I've enjoyed this. I've had so much fun. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Wonderful.

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