From Mom-Bot to Movement: My Midlife Reinvention Story

Are you high-achieving, over-scheduled, and yet... quietly unfulfilled? You’ve mastered the roles—the powerhouse professional, the dedicated partner, the doting mother, the reliable daughter—but somewhere along the way, you lost the woman with the spark in her eyes.

In our Season 4 premiere, I’m stepping into the guest seat to share my own raw journey through the "Midlife Funk." I’m unmasking the truth about what happens when we prioritize our roles over our souls, and how I used my professional background to engineer my own escape from autopilot.

In this foundational episode, I’m sharing:

The "Mom-bot" Trap: The high-stakes trauma of my son’s birth that led me to trade my personal identity for a "protective shield" of motherhood for 18 years.

The Jane Moment: The one vulnerable conversation that gave me the "breath of relief" and the permission to stop faking "okay."

The Professional Pivot: How I transitioned from a Corporate HR Manager to becoming a Mindvalley Certified Life Coach obsessed with female connection.

The Save the World Sisterhood: Why I believe that a midlife woman who has reclaimed her purpose is the most powerful force for global change.

This episode sets the stage for a powerful season of expert guests and survival stories of reinvention. Whether you are navigating a career transition, an identity shift, or just a heavy dissatisfaction in your gut, this is your invitation to stop being a "placeholder" and start being the hero of your own life.

Subscribe now and join the circle. Your next chapter doesn't just start here—it ignites here.

Save the World, Sister!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone. Welcome back to the Find Your Lady Tribe podcast. I'm your host, Brenda Ridgeley, and today is the day I've been anticipating for a long time. We are kicking off season four, and this entire season is dedicated to one thing: personal transformation. Specifically, we're talking to women who have navigated the midlife funk and come out on the other side ignited by passion. This work is the heartbeat of my upcoming book, Ignite Your Life's Purpose and Save the World. I've realized that when we as midlife women move from the roles that we play to our core values, we don't just change our lives. We actually save our corner of the world. So to start the season, I'm going to do something that I usually ask my guests to do. I'm going to unmask and I'm going to take you through my own journey. The trauma, the mombout years, and the Jane moment that changed everything. Welcome to the Find Your Lady Tribe Podcast. I'm your host, Brenda Richley. This is season four. We are deep diving into the heart of midlife reinvention. That sense that you've mastered your roles, but you've lost your spark. You are exactly where you need to be. This season is inspired by the framework of my upcoming book. We're gonna help you move from autopilot to on fire by hearing from incredible women who have reclaimed their own life force. It's time to stop just going through the motion and start living your next chapter with intention. Let's ignite that spark. Save the world, sister. So if you know me at all, you know I'm a connection connoisseur. But I wasn't born that way. I grew up as the perpetual new girl. You know, my family moved every few years like clockwork. New house, new neighborhood, new school. I was always showing up, just trying to figure out where I could possibly fit in, just trying to be like everyone else, just trying to blend in and make friends. That's probably why I'm so passionate about friendship finding now in my midlife. But I distinctly remember in seventh grade. I mean, honestly, we'd already moved probably five times at this point in time. Um I think in my hometown, I went to almost every school that is in the area. I think about seven different schools throughout my K through 12. And that's a lot when you think about it. Um I distinctly remember in seventh grade. We moved second quarter of seventh grade. I mean, the most awkward time of your life in that middle school era, trying to fit into it when all the other kids had already just known each other for a long time, probably from um elementary and on up, and and at least they had that first quarter, if not, but I'm coming in second quarter. Oh, it was scary. Again, just trying to fit in, and it made me just really good at figuring things out and trying to blend in. Anyway, I was constantly scanning the room, you know, trying to figure out the rules of who to belong to, where to belong, where I wanted to be. You know, just imagine walking into, I remember walking into a cafeteria with a big bowl of chili, have my braces on, and just feeling awkward. And where do I sit? You know, those things happened a lot regularly. So not always the connection connoisseur. You know, my parents, like I said, moved us around a lot. So I never really felt in control and I just craved feeling in control. And at age 15, I got my first job because I wanted my own money so I could make my own decisions. At 16, I bought my 1978 Chevy Chevrolet. Red, of course, and I called it my little red chevette. You remember the tune, right? Little red chevet. Well, anyway, I was close. That car was my first vessel of freedom. It took me all the way to Durango, Colorado for college. At this point in my life in college, at the for the first time, I felt in control of my destiny. I was leading my life by an intercompass, not a parents' map. I met a wonderful boy, and I was so happy. My sister told me I looked like a completely different person when I came home for holiday break. And this was a sister who now is a best friend, but we didn't really get along back then. I thought at that time I had my master plan all figured out. You know, life was gonna go straight up from here, right? Well, fast forward, I married the boy of my dreams, and five years later, we started talking about kids, you know. During that first five years, you know, we were just both busy. I was an HR professional, I had an active friendship base, um, I was a becoming a good wife and all those things, and and really kind of trying to crop climb that corporate ladder. So roll, roll, roll, right? Um, but then the paradigm shifted. Once we'd had decided to have a a child, you know, we kind of got lucky and right off the bat, we got pregnant. But my journey into motherhood did not start off with soft music and a nursery and all that great stuff. It started off with a trauma. I distinctly remember hearing a nurse mutter under her breath as she put a fetal monitor on my belly at 36 weeks. Dead. At that point, my whole dream for my life kind of just flashed before my eyes. And I just said, God, take me away from here. I I can't be here. So they led me into this emergency c section, and I they knocked me out. What I remember was just being placed on this silver, cold gurney in the middle of the night, all these fluorescent lights above me, and that echoing in my head, dead, dead, dead, dead as I went under. When I came out of it, I was alone in a room. Actually, there was a nurse holding my hand, but there was no baby in sight. And I cried out to her, Is he alive? And and she said, Yes, and he's doing wonderfully. Oh my gosh. Um, he was born with an apgar score of one, if you've never heard of we had an emergency c section. He was born without a heartbeat and no, he wasn't breathing, but they resuscitated him and he came back and they said, These are the situations we in the emergency room train for, but they don't usually go out well. Go well, and they called him their miracle child. That moment changed me. You know, people say children are gonna change your life. But for me, that trauma created a brand of PTSD that gave me kind of racehorse blinders, you know. I decided that my only purpose at that point in time on forward was to keep this miracle boy and later his sister, my daughter, safe. So I want to be clear, you know, motherhood has been the greatest joy of my life. I wouldn't trade a single bleacher moment or carpool, but that fierce love, you know, with it, I let go of everything else. My softball glove went in a box. My hiking boots got dusty. My creative writing went undiscovered. I became a mom bot, you know. I was a world, I was just so good at taking care of everyone else, world class, but I was living on autopilot. I was checked out of my own life while being 100% checked into theirs. So fast forward 18 years from the outside, I had it all. You know, a loving husband, a beautiful home, two happy, healthy children, couple snuggle pups. But I woke up every morning with this dissatisfaction that I couldn't name. My son, now 18, announced he was moving to New York to be a performer and go to performing art school. My daughter wanted to head to Chicago for volleyball. At first it was kind of exciting. I was like, okay, here I go, momager mode. I'm gonna like help them get to realize their dreams. But once we were getting there and we were actually could see the destination, I panicked, you know. Suddenly my purpose was packing up a suitcase. I crashed when this realization happened. I spent the next two years in this state of apathy. I tried to manufacture moments, like I call like to call them, you know, forced traditions, anything to keep them close. I was terrified because I didn't know who Brenda was without the Momager title. I was faking it. I was keeping up with the Joneses on social media while feeling completely alone outside my own house. Then came 2020. They all came home for quarantine. Oh my gosh. I thought, I mean, what an what a terrible time in all of our lives, but wow, I was getting a redo. I was getting a do-over. And it was so wonderful. I mean, just to be together again, our family of four, just quarantined, right? But I knew it was a bonus round. And I was still searching for that missing piece. So, you know, alongside of um being the momager and the and the wife and all that, I did, you know, have a I was involved in business and I was at a networking event and I went regularly. I was kind of doing the nice weather, small talk when I saw Jane. You know, she was just a few steps ahead of me, you know, her kids were already gone, but and she looked radiant, you know. I finally dropped my own mask and I asked her, Jane, are you really okay being an empty nester? She didn't say just yes. She said, Brenda, life is fabulous. She talked about travel, new connections, and doing what she wanted when she wanted to do it. Oh my gosh, I was kind of in awe, like in relief. And I was like, Really? Really, really? Oh my gosh, you're not just faking it like I am. Like you, you, it, you're just walking the walk and talking the talk, and you're doing all these things that I haven't even thought about doing for a while. And she started rattling off the travel and doing this and that and the other. And I go, oh my gosh, I want to do that. I haven't done that. That's something I always wanted to do. And I just started getting this like tingling sensation of excitement for what was next. I was like, I'm gonna get to do things that I haven't been able to get to for a long time. And wow, I mean, it was just like, it was just really a huge wake-up call for me. And that moment was the spark that I realized that my children's independence wasn't my ending. It was my invitation. So I reached out to old friends, you know, I started researching the midlife funk and trying to figure out what that was. And what I discovered in my research was that it's all it starts with loneliness, you know. And I realized and found discovered that I wasn't at all alone in my loneliness. So this journey and all of that all that I learned became my first book, Lady in the Tribe, How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles. And it became what's now the Save the World Sisterhood. It led me to become a Mind Valley certified coach. And I realize that you know, connection is the cure for me and so many others. Reconnecting, because that's what we did over those decades of diving into our roles. We disconnected from ourselves to fully engage and because we thought we needed to do that to be the best and to give it our all, but no one asked us to do that. And no one wants us to not be not behold, and we didn't even realize until it was too late, at least for me, uh, what I had done. So connection is the cure. So if you're listening today and you feel like a mom bot, like I did, you know, just going through the motions, not excited about any of it. You got a to-do list from dawn until dusk, and ugh, it's just a grind. I want you to hear me right now. You can love your children fiercely and still have a soul that is yours alone. So this season, I am bringing you women who have done the hard work of reinvention, and many of them have discovered even teaching and coaching as their next step in sharing what they they learned and and taking and sharing their gifts with the world, and they're so excited and passionate about it, and I can't wait for you to meet each and every one of them. So we're going to find your ignition pillars together this season. So, your first step, I want you to join our tribe. Head over to the Save the World Sisterhood Facebook group. That is our gathering place. And if you're ready to see where you are on your own map, download the Midlife Clarity map on my website. And I'll have all the links here for this show and all the others in the show notes. So if you ever hear something on, just come on back and grab it. But please do uh subscribe and follow and share because that's how we expand our sisterhood. So thank you so much for trusting me with your time. Again, please like, share, comment on the episode. It helps our sisters find their way to the tribe. So remember, when you ignite your purpose, you can save the world. So keep climbing, and I'll see you next week. Hey sister, are you feeling the midlife funk? You know, that sense that you're busy but not actually lit up about anything on your to-do list? I've been there, and I know the hardest part about reinvention is simply knowing where to start. That's why I created the Midlife Clarity Map. It's a free step-by-step guide designed to help you unmask the Mombot or whatever role is all-consuming for you and rediscover the passions you left behind. It's time to trade your autopilot for an inner compass. So head over to theholeuniverse.com to grab your free download today. I'll have the link in the show notes. Let's start your journey. Save the world, sister. Thank you for spending this time with your Lady Tribe. I always say that when three or more gather, we are tribe. And today, with my guests, myself, and you listening in, that circle is complete. I hope this story reminded you that your purpose is worth the pursuit. If this episode stirs something to you, please click a button to subscribe, like, and leave a comment. Your engagement helps other sisters find their way to our circle. You're ready to take the next step in your own transformation. I invite you to join our gathering place. It's where we unpack and cheer each other on as we ignite our lives together. Until next time, I'm Brenda Richley. Save the world, sister.