Your Hormones Are Not Broken, Your Body Is Out Of Rhythm

The weirdest part of midlife isn’t the hot flashes or the changing metabolism. It’s the moment you look up and realize you don’t feel like yourself and you can’t explain why. Brenda Ridgley sits down with holistic menopause coach Eliza Riley to name what so many women experience in silence: the sleep disruption, the crushing fatigue, the painful cycles, the brain fog, and even the scary emotional flatness that can show up during perimenopause and menopause.

Eliza shares her personal health journey through cervical cancer, years of confusing symptoms, and the long road to realizing hormones were at the center of the storm. We talk about why the medical system can feel fragmented, why symptom-by-symptom fixes often miss the root cause, and how it’s possible to rebuild trust in your body by learning its patterns. You’ll also hear a grounded take on HRT, including why it’s not one-size-fits-all and why women deserve to understand their full menu of options for menopause support.

Then we get practical. Eliza explains what she means by “losing your rhythm” and how modern life pulls us away from the circadian and metabolic cues that regulate the nervous system and hormone balance. She offers two simple shifts you can try this week. If you’re ready to stop running on fumes and start feeling clear and capable again, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the biggest midlife symptom you want to solve next.

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Transcript

Rekindling The Midlife Spark

SPEAKER_00 0:18

But you've lost your spark. You are exactly where you need to be. Inspired by the framework of my upcoming book. Ignite your life's purpose and save the world. We're gonna help you move from autopilot to on fire by hearing from incredible women who have reclaimed their own life force. It's time to stop just going through the motion and start living your next chapter with intention. Let's ignite that spark. Save the world, sister.

Meet A Holistic Menopause Coach

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Well, hello everyone. Welcome back to the Find Your Lady Tribe podcast with the season all about transformation. And I'm your host, Brenda Ridgley. I'm so excited to be here with my good friend, uh Eliza Riley. She is a holistic menopause coach specialist who helps women navigate perimenopause and menopause using natural root-cause approaches. After experiencing her own midlife hormone shifts and realizing how confusing and fragmented the information around her was, she began studying how the nervous system, metabolism, digestion, and lifestyle rhythms influence hormonal balance. Today, Eliza works with women to restore that rhythm so that they can sleep deeply again, regain their energy, support their metabolism, and move through midlife feeling clear, capable, and in control of their health. And isn't that what we all want? Oh my gosh. Yes, you have what we want, Eliza. I certainly think so too. Yes. So welcome to the Find Your Life, Your Lady Tribe podcast. I'm so glad you're here. We have been uh friends and have worked together. I don't know how you would call our work together relationship. I guess we're so what do we do? We're we're like a support group or something.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah, and and we've we find ways to collaborate with each other. So like we sure have.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yes, we we have just like this. And so it's just an honor to have you here today. So we always start this season again is like about the midlife funk, you know, and how it's possible, even if you're feeling your funkiest right now, to come out on the other side bigger and better and more excited about your life than ever.

Cancer, Symptoms, And Early Perimenopause

SPEAKER_00 2:33

And I know, Eliza, you have a fabulous story about your own midlife transformation. So start us off at kind of the beginning before the midlife funk and navigate us through what happened. What's your story? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Well, I don't know that I would call it fabulous, but it was it's certainly a story. And I think um my story, I while I know that there are parts of it that that lots of women listening are going to relate to because we all have we all seem to have similar uh transitions through this through this time. Um, but for me, uh in my early 30s, now in my sorry, to go back just a little further, in my mid-20s, I had uh I had been diagnosed with uh an aggressive cervical cancer that came back in my early 30s. So I went through all of that. I dealt with, you know, with uh I had the surgery, I did the had the medications. Thankfully I didn't have to have chemo or radiation or any of or any of that hor harmful uh stuff, horrible stuff. Um, but I did I did do everything else that the doctors told me. And I think that that is why I sort of went into a an early perimenopause. I didn't, but I I was having all these symptoms that I didn't understand, and I would go back to my doctors who were wonderful. I I had the best doctors when I was going through the cancer, and they would say, Oh, well, that's part of this cancer journey, and they would give me some different medication, you know. So the inability to sleep, the um painful periods, the um complete lack of energy. I mean, I could literally sit on the couch all day long and never once have a thought that I might should I might want to get up. Like I was fine with just sitting there all day long. Um, so there were so many things, and and it wasn't until I was near 40 when I realized that actually all of the things that I was struggling with were not about the cancer, were not about any of that. It was about my hormones. It was about this this minute this perimenopausal transition. And no one else had ever talked to me about that. And I'll tell you, um, one of the things that used to frustrate my doctor so much is that I became someone during this time who, when I got a prescription, if I started taking it and I didn't like how it made me feel, I just wouldn't take it. I was like, no, that doesn't work for me. I know, so bad. But I was listening to my body, and my body said, no, I don't like that. And I would just, I would just push it aside. And so um, so I was always going back and saying, Well, now I have this thing, and they would go, Well, did you take that? And I'm like, Yeah, I didn't like it. And then they would go, Okay, well, let's try something else. But it really the the the lesson to all of that was listening to my body, was was learning to to pay attention to what my body was saying to me as we were going through all of this. But I did try so many different prescriptions um um and so many different things to try and make myself feel better. And I was already a holistic health coach. So I'm here I am helping other women to feel good in their bodies, but I didn't understand what was happening in my own body. I really just didn't know. And and I didn't have someone that I could turn to and say, hey, this is what I'm struggling with. And they go, like, oh yeah, that's your hormones. No one said that. I mean, with all of my doctors and even my OBGYNs, no one said it's your hormones. I had to figure that out on my

The “Crazy-Making” Search For Answers

SPEAKER_01 6:10

own.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Well, and and it's nuts too, because you talked about just a little earlier about a phase of just wanting to be on the couch, yeah, and not moving and not being motivated and not feeling that that was even off. It was just like, and that's hormones, you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yes, absolutely. Yes. We all don't get me wrong, we all go through these phases of just like, oh, I'm just tired. I, you know, I don't want to do anything today. Like, that's okay. When you when you recognize that um you but you should get up, you know, like you should go make dinner, you should clean the house, you should go to work, whatever it is that you should be doing, that that's different than laying there and going, I don't care. I don't care that the house doesn't get clean. I don't care that I didn't go to work today. I don't care that that the the meals aren't being made. When you quit caring about anything, yes, it's your hormones.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Wow. Wow. And it's so interesting because it hits us all so differently. And you and I have had conversations about this before, but you know, many mid women in midlife kind of suddenly feel like their body is just not cooperating. And it could be a variety of things happening. I mean, I think there's a I read that there was a list of 36 to 40 different symptoms or more that that nobody ever until recently put it as that could be um menopause or perimenopause or whatnot. So did obviously you were telling us how it you experienced some of this yourself and how, but but it led you to the work you're doing today. So tell just tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

As I mentioned, I was already, and just so you know, um, that 40, I think it was 44 um symptoms, and now they've they've like made like 120. Like there's newer studies that come out and show like the number is even bigger than we thought it was. Like, of course it is, because there's literally nothing between our hair to our toes that is not affected by our hormones. So you can't sit, you can't like if there's the number of symptoms in our body that our body can possibly have, all of them can be affected by our hormones. But like I was saying, I was a holistic, I was already a holistic health coach. And even then I didn't, I didn't know. I didn't know what I should be doing for menopause. So I actually went back to school for my holistic menopause. I'm sorry, the the the certification I went back for was um menopause coaching specialists, not holistic, take that off. But even in that program, there was still a um mainstream medical um um uh bend. You know, like they still were, they still talked about prescriptions, they still talked about medical procedures, like getting, getting uh, and and this isn't to this isn't to to disparage any of them, like you do what you need to do for your body. But I think it's just so important for women to recognize that there are other options, that there are other things that we can be doing that that you're probably not going to hear about from your doctor's office.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

So are you are you kind of referring to HRT, um, those kinds of it can be, it can be.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Now, um, so I will tell you when it comes to HRT, HRT is not for everyone, it's not for all bodies, and it really depends upon your your symptoms. That's my take on it. But I will say, I would I would personally never suggest to any woman that they take a synthetic hormone versus a bioidentical hormone. It's truly different in our body and in how our body uses it.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Hey lady, just wanted to take a moment and interrupt right now in the middle of the show to ask you to subscribe. Yes, press that button right now. This show is all about you, the midlife woman. Let's do this thing together. So join us. Subscribe now. Okay. Well, that's good to know. So let's I want to hear more about your own journey in that. Tell, I mean, some of the feelings that you were going through when you just weren't finding the answers in the beginning. And like it kind of feels a little crazy. I mean, at least I have a few times. What you can talk about that period a little bit?

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Yeah, I think that I think what you're what you're saying is dead on. Like it does, it is crazy making because you know, we we have a symptom, we go to our doctor, we get a prescription, it doesn't feel better, or it doesn't, it or in some cases it gets worse, or something else crops up. And so for me, it was this, you know, like I was I trusted my doctor. So I kept going back and saying, okay, now this is the this is the new thing, like this is my new symptom this week, you know. So what do I take for this? And and I again, like I said, I would try them. I wouldn't always stay on them, but I would try them.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

And um, I forgot my point, but I feel like crazy about and yeah, I know, right? You weren't right on. No, just being feeling like you're going nuts because you can't figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, absolutely. And that was that was the thing, is that even though I was going to my doctor, I'm getting all these medications and I'm trying them, it still felt like there's something else, like I'm missing something, you know, like and I think that that's that's that's the big thing when it comes to or the big the big question in our minds when it comes to these symptoms, like even when we go to our doctor, if we have a great doctor who listens to all of our symptoms, who has time for us, who really pays attention, which is extremely rare, but when we have when we have someone who who is willing to to give us their time and attention and then give us a prescription um that actually um helps or that actually um um fills the gap of where we, you know, like where we want to go, like where we want to, how we want to feel. But so often we walk away going like oh, that still just doesn't feel right. It just doesn't feel like I'm getting the answer from from what I what my body needs right now. And that's where I think that's where the crazy making comes in. Like you feel like it must all be in my head, yeah, because I've said it over and over and over again, and I'm still not getting a path.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Yeah, and 50 years ago they just said we were crazy. Yeah. Oh yeah. We won't go there. All right.

Body Rhythm And Modern Life Disconnect

SPEAKER_00 12:35

So Eliza, you talk about the body losing its rhythm at midlife. You know, what does that mean? Um, why do so many women just feel exhausted like you did on the couch there? Um, but but kind of we're all wired the same, aren't we? And we're all just like, I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Yeah, and I think that that's the key. I mean, right there, what you just said, we're all wired the same. And we don't get me wrong, bodies are different for sure. But the the thing about human, about being human, is that in in all of recorded human history, we have lived in a in rhythms. We've lived in these daily rhythms. You know, our ancestors woke up with the sun every day, they got outside to do their work, you know, to do their the thing that they did, you know, to live their lives. They were in the sun, they moved their bodies a lot, and then they won't they wound down at night when the sun went down. Those rhythms regulated their hormones, their metabolism, their nervous system. And our modern life is just very different, very disconnected from the rhythms that our biology requires to be our best.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Wow. Okay, so tell me about your the the moment that you kind of got went, or was there one when you go, oh my gosh. I I feel a little clarity in this. I feel like I have a direction. I feel like I'm in control. How how did you get there and what happened?

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Really, it really came back to learning. I I'm I've always been very passionate about, first off, um holistic health, and also about human history. Like I love to go back and read about how our prehistoric and and and later humans lived. Um, because I think that they that they understood something, they knew something, even without having the knowledge. They they they got it right, they knew what they were doing. And so when I started to take parts of that, things like stepping outside to get sun, stepping on the ground with bare feet, because even something as simple as, I mean, we've done so many things to disconnect ourselves from those rhythms from early life. Um, things like artificial light that keeps us up way into the into the night. Um, we stay indoors most of the day. I mean, I can tell you that during that time when I felt so sick, and now I blamed it on, you know, the cancer and all the different things that I was struggling with. I didn't, I don't think I went outside for months. Like like so much time would go by where I would not step outside except maybe to run and grab the mail and come right back in. Like that was it. But we have so much disconnection to our natural environment. Even something as simple as um wearing rubber-soled shoes has disconnected us from the earth. And and that invention, while it helped us to keep from uh injuring our feet, um, it also there was a huge rise in illness at the time that that was created, that those were made and made popular. So it's interesting to me to just like look back on modern inventions and how they contributed to uh less health, letter a uh less um vibrancy.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Wellness, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

unknown 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

So what was that your moment then when you had felt like you had the answers? Or what I'm this I I I don't I don't know that I have all I don't know that I have the answers.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Okay, but I will tell you. But I will tell you for me, it was so uh, you know, like in

Addison’s Diagnosis And Adrenal Support

SPEAKER_01 16:25

uh in when I was 33, I had the the can't the second cancer diagnosis. When I was uh 40, I actually had an Addison's disease diagnosis, which is when your adrenals no longer work. And the adrenals um are um are actually the organ of longevity, like how well our adrenals function determines how long we live our lives. It's amazing. Um, and we don't know that so much in in Western society, but Eastern society has been living by that for a very long time. That's why they actually keep that part of their body warm with the with the OBs, I think they're called that they wear. Um it's it's such an it's such an interesting thing to to recognize the importance of these tiny little glands on the back on our lower backs. Um but when I got that diagnosis, I had been sick for almost a decade at that point. And when I got the diagnosis, that's when I really started learning about my adrenals and what they do and how to keep them um supported and and healthy and happy. And simple things like getting sunlight, standing on the ground, um eating regular meals. Like it sounds so simple, but it it doesn't take these giant overhauls. It doesn't take a big detox or or like following some really strict diet for for a month. Like there's there's there's tiny little things that we can do every day that will support our body and get us feeling our best pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Well, awesome. So now where you are now, uh you feel well, you feel fit, you feel happy and joyful um and excited, and you're and you're teaching what you love and what you what you've lived. And that's pretty I bet that feels pretty great.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

It really does. I mean, I can honestly say I'm 52 now, and I have not felt this good since before the first cancer diagnosis, which was when I was 26. So I mean, I sleep better than I than I have than than I remember ever sleeping. I have more energy during through that throughout the day. I um yeah, I I'm I'm really um able, I have the energy to build the life that I want, and that's what I do.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Love it, love it. So, Eliza, for the women who are listening, um, and they kind of feel that their energy or or sleep or metabolism could use some improvement. They aren't working, they're out of sync, whatever's going on with them. What are one or two simple things or shifts that they could start with this week?

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Okay. So

Two Simple Shifts For Better Sleep

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I wanted, I'm gonna tell you guys for years, my my whole thing has been simple changes. Like it really doesn't take, like I just said, you don't have to take, you don't have to take these giant leaps into how into health. Like you can do small things and and get um and get big shifts. And and JJ Virgin said it so well. I just heard her recently, and I love that she said small hinges swing big doors. That is my philosophy, and and I'm sticking with it. One of the things that you can do, and again, it sounds so simple, but when you wake up in the morning, you really want to step outside within about 10 minutes. Now, if you need to go pee real quick, go do it, but then step outside. Don't wear your glasses, don't put sunscreen. In fact, try and take off as much clothing as you comfortably can to step outside into your yard. And stay if you just stand out there for five minutes, and now don't look into the sun because that's not good for your eyes, but look towards the sun, like look off into the horizon towards the sun, and just stand there for five minutes. That alone is going to make a huge difference in how well you sleep at night. Now, I would love to sit here and tell you that if you do it tomorrow morning, you're gonna sleep better tomorrow night, but that's not really how it works. It's kind of a cumulative thing. You want to do it for a few days. After about a week, you're gonna notice that your shift, your sleep starts shifting. You'll find it easier to fall asleep, you'll find that you stay asleep longer. So that's that's a big one. I love sleep. Ladies, do you love sleep like I do?

unknown 20:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

And then the second shift, again, it sounds so simple, but one of the biggest I don't want to call it a travesty because it's not necessarily one of the things that that midlife women often hear is that fasting is the way to to health, right? Like we should all be fasting, and people who are proponents of fasting swear by it. Like everyone should be fasting. I get it, and it does work really amazing for some bodies. But for many midlife women, we get here to this place and we have not put ourselves first. So this is so one of the worst things that you can do for your body that is out of rhythm is to not eat first thing in the morning, like literally within 30 to 60 minutes of waking. So you step outside to get your sunlight, you come inside, you have breakfast. Have a nice protein forward breakfast within an hour, 30 to 60 minutes of waking. This is going to support your blood sugar stability so that you have better energy throughout the day. And it also is another piece that contributes to sleeping well at night. It helps to reduce your stress response because what happens at midlife we throughout our whole life, like in our 20s and 30s, we have this giant bucket that when it comes Stress, bring it on, baby. We got it. We got plenty of room. Just bring it on, right? Every now and then, of course, our the our bucket overflows, but for the most part, whatever life hands throws at us, we got it. But what happens at midlife is not that the stressors become more, but our bucket shrinks. So now we have a cup. And so what feels like the same amount of stress that we've always been able to handle fine now feels too much. So again, get putting our getting our bodies back into rhythm. And one of the ways we do that is through having that early breakfast within 30 to 60 minutes of waking. It helps to prevent those later crashes, it helps to prevent our um to reduce our stress response, and it helps you to sleep at night. So two simple things that you can start doing tomorrow morning. And if you do, I would love to hear about it. Yeah I would love to hear how it works for you.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Well, I for for one love sunshine and I love food. So thank you. Thank you for missing.

unknown 23:01

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Awesome, awesome. Okay.

Find Eliza And Track Sleep Patterns

SPEAKER_00 23:05

So Eliza, tell me, tell us out here in Find Your Lady Tribe Land how to find you.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

The probably the best way is I have a Facebook community. It is called um Holistic Menopause Health. So that is my Facebook group. It is a free group. Anyone can join and and you'll you'll be able to follow what I'm doing there and also talk with other women who are having these same conversations.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Awesome. Awesome. That's awesome. And did you say you have some kind of tool or is that for another day?

SPEAKER_01 23:43

No, I do. I have a tool that I just created. It's my seven-day sleep pattern tracker. One of the most important things when trying to figure out what is going on with your sleep is to recognize the patterns. So some some you this this tracker is simply um set up to allow you to keep track of when you wake up, how long it takes you to fall asleep, the types of meals that you had before bed, um, and also the timing. Food timing makes a difference in how well you sleep. And so you by writing those things down, in it's just seven days, um, you can go back then once it's done and look at it and go, oh, so then here's the the nights that I slept really well, and here's what I did before that. Here's the nights that I didn't sleep so well, and here's the night, here's what I did before that. It gives you an opportunity to see what's happening in your own body and what might be throwing off or influencing your sleep.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

Awesome. I think that's a great idea because you don't know what little habits you have that could be really disrupting that so important Z time. Awesome.

Friendship, Tribe, And Closing Invites

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Well, Eliza, thank you so much. Uh my final question to you is all about your tribe. You know, how do you keep up close and personal with the people that are important to you in your life? And you know, I come I'm kind of referring to your female friends.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Um, so Eliza, how do you tribe? Well, I I love, I knew that you asked that question. So it's so interesting when I knew that I was going to be doing this conversation, having this conversation with you. I've been trying to figure out like what would I say? Because the reality is, the truth is, the unfortunate truth is, I don't have many girlfriends. I um have always uh just gotten along better with with with guys. So my best friend is uh is my best friends are men. Um and it's a different that's a different kind of thing. Like it's a completely different kind of relationship than than than to have uh female friendships. And so I I think unfortunately I have to just make a make more of an effort to find and cultivate those friendships because I definitely am open to having them. I I would love to.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Well, good. Good for you. I mean, recognizing it is the first step, right? And I think you'll you'll find what might be missing is something that women can provide you that really men can't, and it's that motherly care, motherly love. We have that instinct within us that they just don't have as as much as they're as loving as they are, and as wonderful as men are. And I love I have many men in my life that I love, um, but there's nothing like a girlfriend. So to you and to all those others out there that are feeling the same way, go find your lady tribe, ladies. So with that, I will just close with when three or more gather, we are tribe. Love that. Thanks, Eliza. Thank you, Brenda. Thank you for spending this time with your lady tribe. I always say that when three or more gather, we are tribe. And today, with my guests, myself, and you listening in, that circle is complete. I hope this story reminded you that your purpose is worth the pursuit. If this episode stirs something in you, please take a moment to subscribe, like, and leave a comment. Your engagement helps other sisters find their way to our circle. If you're ready to take the next step in your own transformation, I invite you to join our gathering place, the Save the World Sister. It's where we unmask, connect, and cheer each other on as we ignite our lives together. Until next time, my Brenda Richley. Save the world sister.