A High Achiever Walks Away To Find Herself

You can check every box and still feel like something is missing and that’s the moment we’re naming out loud today. I’m sitting down with Jen Carew, a former corporate leader who spent more than 20 years mastering external success, only to realize at midlife that the life she built didn’t match the peace she craved. What happens next is honest, brave, and deeply relatable: she walks away, creates space, and begins the slow work of remembering who she is beneath the roles.

Jen shares one of my favorite images for midlife transformation: the inner spring. When we’re young, our spirit flows naturally, but over time we drop pebbles into that stream. Expectations, people pleasing, and the pressure to be “useful” can restrict the flow until we barely recognize ourselves. We talk about the dark night of the soul that can follow big change, the grief of letting go of a “good” identity, and why a brief spiritual awakening can be followed by anxiety when the ego fights to stay in control. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head, we break down ego vs soul in clear, practical terms.

We also go into ancestral healing and epigenetics, including the visibility wound many women carry and how inherited trauma and family patterns can shape your confidence, voice, and sense of safety. You’ll leave with grounded next steps you can try this week. If you’re craving purpose after 40, spiritual direction, burnout recovery tools, or a gentler way to come home to yourself, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

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Transcript

Welcome And Midlife Reset

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Your next chapter with intention. Let's ignite that spark. Take the world, sister. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Find Your Lady Tribe, where we are talking all about midlife transformation because we ladies have done a lot, accomplished a lot of important and great things, but there is so much more left to do. And sometimes we just need to find that spark to get us going on to what's next. So our guest today spent over 20 years in the corporate world mastering the art of manifesting success. But at 45, after checking every box, we know those, still feeling unfulfilled, she stopped playing the traditional game and chose a different path, one that led her inward. She's a certified spiritual director who helps people unearth their own inner medicine and reconnect with their true self. She's also the founder of the Agent Heart Collective, an interspiritual community dedicated to reconnecting us with the sacred and the natural world. Currently, she's expanding her work into the realm of ancestral healing to help her clients untangle their authentic identity from inherited traumas, behaviors, and limiting beliefs passed down through the generations. So please help me welcome our guide for the heart and soul, Jen Carew. Jen, thanks for being here today. Oh, Brenda, thank you so much for having me. So good to see you as always. Absolutely. Yeah. So Jen and I have co-hosted retreats together and we got another one coming up that we're real excited about. And uh just love working with Jen. She's really a miracle worker in what she does. So highly recommend. So, Jen, we always start in the messy middle.

The Career Pinnacle That Felt Empty

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Okay, so tell us a little bit about your story.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

And don't leave anything out. We want to hear it.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Okay. So I think like so many of us when we um reach our middle life, we start to get more reflective. Um, and we start to look at, you know, where where we've been and where we want to go. And how does um where we want to go align with where we are right now? And so I I had recently moved into this beautiful home in the woods. I was married to the love of my life. My career was soaring. And I, in in the quiet moments of stillness, I noticed that I was just always feeling this sense of discontentment, you know, just like this, I couldn't find um this route back to the sense of peace uh within me. I was always planning and like trying to figure out like how I was gonna meet this goal or make sure I got everything done, or you know, on and on and on. And so I thought, you know, I've worked so hard like my whole life, and why do I still feel like I'm not there? And I felt like, you know, I felt I felt like I'd been sold a bill of goods, to be honest. You know, and so I took a radical step um because I in my heart knew that I would never ever find my way back to the sense of peace without um without actually creating space in my life. So that's when I I just ripped the band-aid off and I quit my job. Like I just my boss literally laughed at me when I told him that I was leaving. He thought it was a joke.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Okay, I forgot I forgot to tell you that I'm gonna interrupt you. Oh, yes. Okay, because I wanna I wanna dig in here because I think you and I are a lot alike. I was very career driven, success driven in the beginning, and go, go, go, go, go. And that keeps you really going for quite a long time until it doesn't. And then, you know, you I think you you kind of hit this highest pinnacle in your career. And that's when you go, is this it? Kind of and I'd love to just kind of hear more about that internal dialogue that was going on with you with its kind of at conflict with everything you've ever worked for.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Yes. So because I was I was at this career pinnacle and I had had I'd I'd created this life that I had dreamed of. My whole, you know, I was like, I I have married the love of my life. I live in the woods in this dream home, and and I have this career that I love. And yet I I I recognized I was not fulfilled. And so that realization was for me that I was, I had won this game that I no longer wanted to play. Like and I had to stop like doing success and start being present to what does even what does even fulfillment look like if this isn't it? You know, what does it actually mean? And and how can I feel it and experience it in those quiet moments when um I'm not doing and I'm not doing. So I had I had mastered this art of manifesting, you know, I had the title, the marriage, the accolades, but I realized I was a stranger to myself. And so that was that was my midlife funk for for real. It was like I'm not, I am not being who I I came here to be. And so, you know, I often um when people say, well, what does that mean? What is your, you know, who what is your true self or how do you know what that is? You know, and and since I left, I've been trying to find a way to talk about that, like for people so people can really understand what that means.

The Spring Metaphor For True Self

SPEAKER_00 6:22

And um, it happened one day as I had gone to this natural spring. I discovered that there was this natural spring near our house that um some people go to to get their water rather than drinking the city water. And this concept was so foreign to me. I was like, wait, people who bring jugs and go out to this well and fill them up. And I'm like, did they test this well? So I looked into it, and yes, they do test this well, this natural spring. And it's been, it's been flowing since 1895, steadily. It was a hand-dug spring, and the the water is some of the cleanest around. So I was like, well, I'm gonna go start filling up my water from this amazing clean jug. And when when I got out there, it was just this unmarked pipe on the side of the this country road. It wasn't like anything dramatic or anything. Was it magical? Like, no, it was not this magical spring. And so I I thought I, but it then it hit me. I was like, this spring is just flowing, no matter if somebody, it's just pouring out, no matter if somebody comes here and fills up their jug or not. This natural spring is just flowing, flowing, flowing all the time. And then there's this drain that takes it back down and then it just continually flows. And so I'm like, that's what our true nature is. You know, that's what our true self is. It's like when we're kids, our truest self, we are our truest selves in many ways. And then, you know, we're so open and our spirits just flowing out so much like a spring. And it's bringing this life-giving water to uh to others, to ourselves from source that's just flowing for the sake of flowing. It doesn't have a goal. But as we we grow older, it's like, oh, your spring is a little messy, it's splattering all over the place. And and so we're told that our true self, pouring out all willy-nilly, it doesn't meet the expectations of our parents, of our friends, of our culture. And so we start to restrict the flow, you know, we drop a pebble in and another pebble, and then a rock, and then a rock. And then one day we convince ourselves that you know, the spring isn't actually that useful anymore because we've restricted the flow so much. It's just this trickle now.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah, and those pebbles are like the roles in your life, yes, right? In those rocks, like I have to use this. Is who I'm supposed to show up as here. This is who I'm supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

This is who I'm supposed to be. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna restrict the flow here. And you don't even realize it just happens over so many, many years. And so by the time I'm 45, I'm like, well, this is a really great life that somebody else made up. My head is playing this game that my heart doesn't want to play. And my heart is yearning to like to pour forth this natural spraying that I am just so so so out of touch with. Because eventually, not only did I block it off, I somebody, you know, paid me to pave it over. Like they're like, hey, it's not that useful to you anymore. So why don't you just pave it over? This part. We like this part, and right, we like this part, and so um just pave over the rest of it and you know, and so for me, it was like I realized it eventually that will catch up to us, right? Like eventually when we're and a lot of times it happens in midlife. Um, and hopefully it happens sooner rather than later, uh, so that we can, you know, start to uncover the well again. And for me, it was like I took a jackhammer to the pavement and I was like, I'm gonna dig until I find whatever this is. And for me, that was letting go of something that mattered to me, but it wasn't, it wasn't who I really was. I was fitting myself into this corporate role. Um, and I was great at it, but I still there was something so much more that I was here to do and beat.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Yeah. So your boss laughed at you when you resigned, thought it was outrageous. I mean, we have to know what did your husband think?

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Well, my husband uh is always supportive of everything that I do. And so he was like, great. I mean, literally, and I know that sounds like, you know, but he really was was like, you know, honey, I know that there's something else you're here to do as well. Like he saw it in me. He knew I would eventually, I always said there was something else I was here to do, and one day I would do it. Um, probably, you know, 55, 60. Um, but there were some things that happened that, you know, made me realize that I didn't want to wait. Um, and so I decided not to wait anymore. And so he was supportive of that.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Yeah, that's wonderful. Good. Yeah. Good, hubby. Way to go. Great, hubby. Yep. Awesome. Okay, I'll I'll let you continue your story as I adjust my little camera here so I can look at you better.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Oh, okay.

Identity Grief After Leaving Corporate

SPEAKER_00 11:04

So, anyways, I think after I just after I'd left the career, then it's also it also became this uh sort of dark night for me. It wasn't all all of a sudden like I'm free. It was a lot of years of digging through jackhammering through this pavement and trying to unearth this spring. And I had no, I didn't have the jackhammer first. I had to figure out that I even needed a jackhammer to really overplay the metaphor. But essentially, I my whole identity was wrapped around my corporate career because I don't have children. I chose not to have children, and um, so for me, that career I I felt was so much a part of who I was. So I had to uh decide to determine like who am I without this? Who am I beneath all of this? And so that's when the spiritual journey and the and really like the inward journey happened. And that I really spent about nine months after I left corporate sitting on my front porch whenever I could. Um, it was it was winter at the time, so I didn't spend a lot of time out there maybe until February. But um yeah, I spent a lot of time out there reading spiritual texts and meditating. I'd been a longtime meditator already, and I just really, really leaned into that practice. Um, but this time not meditating for relaxation or um, you know, for to sleep. It was meditating for answers, like about who I was and why um, you know, why this was so painful and uh and and journaling and and um and then I did go through a really dark time in between of about a three-month period March through early May of that year, because I'd left in December. So fast forward a few months, um, where I was I had felt like um there was a dark cloud over me all the time, just constant um sadness and this tightness in my chest and anxiety, and and um it was like witnessing the death of who I'd built because even though it it wasn't fulfilling to me, it was who I was at the end of the day. And I I worked really hard and it it it got me a lot of things that you know look like success and it got me comfort, and so deconstructing that identity was very, very painful.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

It was very painful, and it felt like it wasn't uh it wasn't regret or fear, but it was kind of just grief.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

It was grief of it was grieving the person, the the person that I had built and the person that had um that I had built that I had built, right? That my um I had built to please society and to please everyone else because that person was still a great person, but it wasn't really me. And so I had to let go of something good in order to get to the infinite, right? And the unlimited and the the um the infinite peace and goodness and love that is who we all really are. Um, so good was was not cutting it anymore, ultimately, but it it was very painful. Um, it was very, very painful. So people talk about a dark night of the soul, and for me it was the breakdown of that identity and the grief of the loss of who I who I had made in order to become who I really was. My soul, my soul's version of me.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Yeah.

Subscribe Break And Rebirth

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Hey lady, just wanted to take a moment and interrupt right now in the middle of the show to ask you to subscribe. Yes, press that button right now. This show is all about you, the midlife woman. Let's do this thing together. So join us, subscribe now. Well, okay, so something had to give at some point. Like you were reborn. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, through this dark, dark period, um I I would wake up every day right before that I'd had an awakening moment, um, right before I

Bliss Awakening Then The Ego Pushback

SPEAKER_00 15:35

descended into the darkness. The first, I'll just back up, because the first couple months um of this spiritual journey were very blissful. They were like, Oh, I'm finally getting to to read and just like really enjoy all these spiritual texts that have been sitting on my shelves for like 20 years that I hadn't been reading, and like spend time reading and meditating and journaling, like what a dream, you know, uh after just hustling and um for so long. Yes. The dream to just get to like luxuriate in that it was like an extended retreat. So, so 60 days, imagine 60 days of that. And then one moment in meditation where my mind just completely blew open and I had an experience of total bliss, like they they talk about, um, like an experience of just feeling the field of bliss and all of the love that is coming from source. This happened during a meditation. Um, and and I the rest of the day I was walking around as if I was just floating and untethered. And it was it was it felt so amazing. And my husband turned the news on and like just giggling at things that would normally be like really upsetting to me. And someone was like, What is going on with you? Are you okay? Exactly. And um, and I remember going to bed that night and thinking, is this gonna last? And I woke up the next day and no, it's gone. Um, and and yet I had had the experience. And and you never like once you see behind the curtain, you never really, it never really closes all the way again. So I had I I would I am I describe it as like going from like a 10 um like a 10 back down to like a three. Um, so it still felt more peaceful than I'd ever felt, but it wasn't like this feeling of bliss. And I don't want to live there anyways. I enjoy my human experience. I don't think um I don't strive to be in bliss all the time. I strive to be embodied like my soul coming through my human body channel and using and that being the soul being the the way that I express my gifts through my human experience. But that took me a long time to figure out too um on this journey.

unknown 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

So once the bliss were off and I started to feel to the rubber meets the road where my ego was like, Oh, I'm not running the show anymore. Um, the ego got was not happy about that.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Something to say about it, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Yeah, the ego was like, I've been coaching this game, you know, your whole life, and you don't just get to bench me all of a sudden. Right. So the ego put up uh quite a fight, and that was the whole dark night period for me where the ego was um was struggling to maintain control, and so in that resistance was all of the anxiety and the sadness. And then once I stopped resisting the ego, and I just said I I see you, and you know, it's not that you're bad, it's just that like I want to move forward in a new way, and and then that re like when I stopped resisting and stopped fighting, that's when um the anxiety and sadness left. And I was able to then it was like an the the in an infusion of life force came back in, and that that's that's when it all lifted for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

And so for those of our listeners who aren't quite clear on the ego, um, because a lot of people think that's just a characteristic or a some that guy's got a big ego, um, which I was one of those people until you know I I learned it differently. But yeah, what tell us from your perspective what the ego is.

Defining Ego As Conditioning

SPEAKER_00 19:22

So um our ego is just our basically our conditioning and the way we move through the world um through through our our a man-made or our human-made lens and through the lens of expectation. And so um it's it's the one that is always um you know challenging us to a plan or it it's it's looking backwards to to ask, hey, how do I how do I do this based on how I did it before? And um it's trying to keep us in safety and comfort. Um, and so it's our mind. It's our mind rather than our heart um leading us. And it's um it's there to protect us and it's it's not a bad thing. But when it, when it's when our lives are in service to our minds, which our mind is meant for processing, it's not the life force, like it's not our soul, but the our our soul is the animating life force um of our being. So when when we we lead our lives based on our supercomputer up here, that's that only looks at the data from the past and then uses that to make a plan for the future and isn't it's never fully present here. Um, we are not able to uh to live from that soulful, we're not living from that soulful place. So the ego is um it's it's what how we're told to um to live our lives, though. I mean, we're told to live live our lives through our head and not our heart.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Right. And based on uh any person's past experience, um, it can show up as those you shouldn't, couldn't, don't warnings that that I mean that's kind of what I've experienced for myself is is those tapes that play over and over, and you're like, is that is that coming from here? I don't think so. Is that my best voice? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, it's um it often it mirrors back the values of society, it mirrors back the values of your parents, it mirrors back your own internalized um values based on the society too. So we internalize so many of these values and we say, okay, if if only when I live this way, then I will be happy because this is what I've been told my whole life. And so it's its job is to To follow that. And because it wants you to be successful in whatever way, you know, the society tells you that you need to be. And there's there's a lot of pressure around that for it cares about what other people think. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Right. A lot about what other people think. Yeah. That's so thank you for kind of going into that a little bit. So I'm sure a lot of people are are would ask this.

The Real Money Tradeoffs

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Um because I I mean, I think if everyone could just quit their job and and sit on a porch, whatever. And I know you live a beautiful life and you you set yourself up in a lot of ways, but you probably had to make some sacrifices too. Sure. I'm guessing.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Well, yes. I mean, certainly um we, you know, we are living on one income. I I make an income now, but it's not what I used to make, right? And so um, but in leading up to this, we we did. We worked really hard, we saved a lot of money, we um and we uh we have set ourselves up so that we could really live um on one income and and um it doesn't mean that you know the work I do is now you know I'm compensated for it, and it's not I don't do it for that though. And so that's the the gift of a lot of planning and a lot of saving.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yeah, you know, good. Well thank you for sharing that because I think it just comes down to to choices at some point. I mean, in some would have have a harder decision, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

It does. And yeah, right. We don't and we we've chosen to live somewhere that we can afford to live on one account. We've chosen, you know, it it does come down to a series of choices and what what ultimately matters to us.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Right, right. So so you have turned your mess into a message. Let's I want tell us what what what you have have done with all of this introspection and grow up personal discovery. Yeah.

Spiritual Direction And Inner Medicine

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Well, um, gosh, it's it was it's been such a journey because uh, you know, when I spent the majority of my adult life really um living in a space of always doing, and then I spent nine months just being, um, and which is the you know 100 eight degree difference. Um when I started to tiptoe my way back into doing again, I didn't want to approach it in the same way I had approached it before, which is striving and stressing and grasping. I wanted to um follow the my joy and um allow and trust and um receive. So a very feminine way of of approaching uh the world and uh and orienting to the world. And um, and it's also um, but I didn't know I didn't even call it that at the time. I just knew that I didn't want to, I didn't want to feel like that anymore because it just felt unnatural to me anymore. So I started by teaching meditation and doing things that um doing things that brought me joy. And so that led me into spiritual direction and which is is not, it's not, it's different from coaching or counseling in that it is um specifically helping people find their own inner connection to the divine and and help been sitting with them while they take their spiritual journey. Like when I was in my dark night moment, I could have really used someone there to witness, to help me reflect back, um, to um to ask questions. And so with spiritual direction, there's no point A or point B because there's no end to our spiritual unfoldment. Um, and so that I didn't even know it was a vocation until about a year and a half after I left my corporate career. And I received training and now I sit with others as they um, you know, go in through with our own inner journeys. And

Ancestral Healing And Visibility Wounds

SPEAKER_00 26:06

then recently, about a year and a half ago, I got interested in ancestral connection and healing. Um, as I started to heal, I recognized that many of the patterns that I had was attached to in my mind that were running me automatically, um uh, that I had I'd healed those and they were no longer in control of my daily life. Um, but there was still some that running in the background that I I was like, I don't have any understanding of where this came from in this lifetime. This is not um this is not attached to my current life. So where does it come from? And I started learning about epigenetics and how we pass down trauma through our DNA, how it's passed down in our lineage. I started doing genealogy research. And it's become, it's just opened up a whole world of understanding and healing for me as I've begun to heal my own lineages and learning the stories of my ancestors have helped me understand what some why some of the things I'm still carrying um into my my life now are still affecting me. So that I'm I'm currently in training and would be graduating in May from that certification.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Is that anything similar to I don't think it maybe is, but to archetypes? Um because we're and and I think we had this conversation about Carolyn Caroline Miss and the sacred contracts and all that work. Because that's very intriguing as well. But it's different then, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:42

It is. I mean, there are the archetype work, I in what from my understanding is that there are um these archetypes that we all have and we all embody to some extent, and some are more prevalent than others. And the ancestral healing is more about um getting at the root of a of a trauma that happened somewhere down our lineage that has been passed down through our line um and and not healed yet. And and so when you start to unearth the root of that trauma and and you heal it, it sends ripples ripple ripple effects through through time, both backward and forward. So it is that's it's different in that way.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Okay, thank you for clarifying that. So, how does looking backward, I mean, I can imagine if it's it's a it's something needs to get healed. I uh that's important to address, but yes, um, looking backward, how does that help us move forward? Or we're especially during midlife.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Especially during midlife. So, and this is I think something what so many women um carry this wound. It's a very common wound, which is um this idea of um staying small or um visibility. So this is a core wound that I'm working through currently, this visibility wound, this this difficulty in fully being seen. I think my mom said this to me once. She said, you know, you're not afraid of failure, you're afraid of success. And you're afraid of being too out there. And she was right. Like I'm afraid of people see, I was afraid of people seeing who I really, really was. And um, because at some point along the line, it became unsafe for us to be seen. And um, and so we learned to hide, we learned to stay small, we learn to be a good girl, we learn to fit into the, you know, the box that we're told to fit into for fear of our very lives. Um, and so that's what our what what I mean by ancestral healing is like we when we realize where the root of that trauma was in our lineage, and we beneath every unhealed wound is an unhealed ancestor. And we journey back and we um heal the ancestor, we heal the lineage. And so it's um it's a fascinating and beautiful, um, beautiful, beautiful art form. So that is helping me to step into my own voice in a way that I have not been willing to step into it before. And and that's how we move forward is is when there it's like the spring, if if you think about it, it's like taking a pebble that I didn't throw in the spring out, you know, or a rock that I didn't throw in the spring out.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

So when I started unblocking all the rocks, I'm like, why is there still something here?

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Okay.

unknown 30:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

That was helpful. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for like that's a great analogy.

Stop Searching Outside Start Listening

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Yeah. Um, so Jen, we live in a culture that tells us the answers are always in doing something, the next book, you know, the next job, the next purchase you make, the things you need and you don't have. How do we get people to stop searching out there when our answers, you know, is are within? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

That's such a good question. And it's so, so personal for everyone. Like if I there's no one size fits all answer because it really comes down to it becomes much more painful to continue the the the um asking to be okay than um and one day we're just tired of asking to be told that we're okay. And we decide, you know, there's got to be something, um, something different for me within. And, you know, the our inner medicine, like I call it, is is is reconnecting to the parts of us that we were told are too much, right? The messy, the messy parts, right? And when we stop waiting for permission, um, and we start trusting uh the the pulse, the the inner um wisdom that's been been flowing, and we start leaning into that, we start reconnecting to that, um, because we don't we don't need to go find a spring. Like we are that spring. And so there's not um the the recognition that if the answer is not out there, it's not in the next promotion, it's not in the next self-help help book, it's not, you know, that's like those are like going to buy bottles of water when you're you have a you know a a full spring underneath you. So um I I just tell people to stop, you know, stop being useful for a moment, like useful to the world. Like, what does it look like when you stop? Just stop being useful and because you are you just by being are worthy of love. Yeah. Um, and so if you just stop being useful for a moment and you start to listen to what is what if my own inner spring started like like I gotta find the little trickle, I gotta find that little ghost trickle and start sitting with that and and asking it.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

And I think a lot of people don't even know how to start because of the doing and because of being useful. You have to take a moment, yeah, because those inspirations come in the form of ideas when we're quiet. Yeah, right. But who I mean, we have something in our ears all the time, we have something playing in the background. We it's like we can't be quiet. I mean, I remember years of always having something on. Yeah. And when I'm walking, I'm listening to a podcast, and when I'm doing it, you know, always something input, input, input.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and a lot of that is to distract ourselves from the fact that we are we are living a life that you know our heart doesn't want to some extent. Not that everything that we've created is something we don't want. Um, and and so the busyness um it could becomes a useful tool in some ways. And some of the busyness is also just functional to survive, right? So there's both of those things that that can be true at the same time. And so I think um it is about um making a choice uh for yourself to give yourself 10 minutes. You know, when I started teaching meditation, I started a program that it was like uh, you know, a four-week program where you're gonna meditate 10 minutes a day. Just commit to sitting. 10 minutes, we have 10 minutes. I guarantee you you're scrolling for at least 10 minutes a day. Absolutely. Simply replace that scrolling with meditation. Simply replace that scrolling with a walk. Go get your feet on the earth, go float in some in a in a pool or in a lake, go paddle boarding, right? Right. You know, so um go feel the sun on your skin, go touch a tree, whatever, whatever, you know, wherever you find joy, um, do that. Start there, start where it's joyful for you. If meditation is not your access point, don't start there. Um, if you don't, if you don't enjoy stillness, don't start there because you're not gonna do it. So I would start, I would start by where it feels joyful um because that is something you will choose to do no matter what, right? Right, right. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

I mean, for me, it would be like going on a hike solo, right? Where you're just there, you in the pavement and no earbuds in, just being present, see absolutely taking in um visually and being there. Um so and also sitting by my koi pond, just kind of watching them just do their thing because it's like it's like hypnotic, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Yes, right. And I that nature is such a great teacher and and it's such a mirror. And so if you instead of looking at it as like a backdrop or something that's beautiful, just shift that slightly and ask, like and remember, like I am this too, right? And notice how the rhythms of the seasons and uh you know speak to you, notice how the stillness of the tree speaks to you. It and and you just it's shift, it's a slight shift in in perception that helps you kind of remember what your connection is to nature. And a lot of people find that joy in nature.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Yeah, I love

Small Shifts You Can Try Today

SPEAKER_01 36:46

it. Yeah. So, Jen, what are a few things our listeners could do like today or this week to kind of make some shift just in the direction of who they really are?

SPEAKER_00 37:00

So I think um knowing that we all have this inner spring, right? Um, that is always flowing within. Um I I would ask them to just ask themselves, you know, what is one quality of yours that has always been there, you know, or one thing that they've always loved to do, or even think back to a time they were a child and remember um the thing that they that just gave them effortless joy and they would just do um anytime and and and just start to remember, start to remember and maybe journal about it. Um that's one thing. It's like what what what is what is one thing that is um is your is heart connected and not head connected? And um, and then look about, look at all of the, even if you just look at all of the shoulds that are on your list every day, like I should do this, I should do that, I should do this, I should do that. And as you start to feel yourself being buried with all of that, you know, as you know, it's our inner dialogue, even if you just start to notice yourself saying that and then asking yourself, like, is this who is this for? Really? Like, who is this for? And there, of course, there's things we all need to do. Uh, that's not it's not about this, but even if you are even if you were to eliminate one or two of the shoulds off of yourself every day, that is that feels pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

I call it the have to's and the get-to's, you know, so train autism, right? Yeah, yes. Yeah, yeah. And then like, you know, on a larger scale, like without quitting your career or, you know, packing up the van and not coming back again. It's like, you know, what are the rules that you live your life around that are are um are feeling like really that they're restricting your flow, you're they're restricting the flow of who you really are. And like what what would be one rule you could sort of bend or break a little bit and let that let that flow come come back and let your spirit start to breathe, breathe through. We have so many rules in our lives, like um, that um we don't necessarily need to live by every day. But we've made up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Thank you. That's wonderful. Those are some great little shifts. Someone can small shifts. Start on right away. I love it. Okay.

Where To Find Jen And The Free Guide

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Yeah. So how do we all find you, Jen? Where are where are you out there in the world?

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Yes. Um, well, I am at jencaroo.com. That's my website. And you can get links to everywhere else that I am there. I'm on YouTube uh at Jenkaroo. I'm on Facebook at Jen Caroo and uh and Instagram. And so those are the best ways to to reach me. And um my email is contact at jencaro.com. Perfect. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

And I think you just said you had a little goody.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

Oh, yes, yes, yes. So I um I thought, you know, to your point, I have um I created something I'm calling this inner inner medicine map, which kind of helps us to start unblocking those pebbles from our spring. So it's it's really a four-step step guide to help people start to um unblock the spring and remember a little bit more of their true selves. Because the more and more um we unblock that flow, the more and the more momentum that we have um of our spring, it starts to it starts to make the rest of our lives feel a lot less heavy because we're living more and more in alignment with our true selves. So we don't have to unblock it like all you know all at once. We can do it slowly over time. So it's it's a four-step guide to start unblocking their their spring.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

Awesome. And also I'll put a link in the show notes so people can grab that. Perfect. Yep. Okay, awesome. Well, thank you.

How To Tribe Through Witnessing

SPEAKER_01 41:10

So Jen, my last question is always, as always, Jen, how do you tribe?

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Tribe. Um, so for me, uh tribing or or being with in a circle of people that um I truly enjoy and that truly enjoy and see me uh is really about witnessing and um my circle of friends and my small group of soul sisters is where I go to be seen and um and I don't need anything other than um you know my my own inner truth. And when we come together, you know, first of all, there's uh something that you taught me was to schedule it. So important. Thank you. Um, yes, thank you. Um, we we and we don't miss it, right? You schedule it and you don't miss it. So um that being present with each other, not trying to fix each other's problems. Um, we hold we wait, we hold space for each other's truths. And so um that human to human connection for me is important. And then, you know, in the in Ancient Hearts Collective, that the whole purpose of Ancient Hearts Collective is to journey together, to journey in our spiritual lives together rather than alone. And that's why I created it. So that is um a broader sense of community and in a way that I've um that that's really, really meaningful for me.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Oh, I love it. That's wonderful. Thanks for sharing that. And and do you um usually tribe as a group or do you have some individual tribing happening and building there too? Individual tribing? Well, yeah, because a tribe is made up of individual connections.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Oh, I see. You know, you mean like one-on-one date. Yes, of course. Okay, okay. Yes, uh, yeah, we um yeah, that deeper heart-to-heart connection is so important. And I do make space for that every week with different just lots of different people just to witness them and for them to witness uh me. That's so important. That's part of spiritual direction too, is um, is that. But that's um that's a professional relationship. So in my personal life, yeah, making time for those one-on-one coffee dates, so important. So important.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Yes, I agree. And so in my, I believe that you know, we need multiple one-on-one important relationships that are deep and meaningful that create our own tribe, then they may not necessarily all be connected. They they're my tribe, you know, they're the these are the people that are there for me. And um, but I think you need more than one. Um, one bestie is beautiful in a way, but it's that's a lot of pressure for any one person. So I would say when three or more gather, We are tribe. So thank you so much for being here, Jen.

Share Subscribe And Join The Group

SPEAKER_01 44:05

I really appreciate you and ladies out there. Share this with a friend that you think um maybe's got the hustle down so well that we she's feeling lost. Uh thank you so much for being a part of Find Your Lady Tribe family. And uh until next time. Thank you for spending this time with your lady tribe. I always say that when three or more gather, we are a tribe. And today, with my guests, myself, and you listening in, that circle is complete. I hope this story reminded you that your purpose is worth the pursuit. If this episode stirred something in you, please take a moment to subscribe, like, and leave a comment. Your engagement helps other sisters find their way to our circle. If you're ready to take the next step in your own transformation, I invite you to join our gathering place, the Save the World Sisterhood Facebook group. It's where we unmask, connect, and cheer each other on as we ignite our lives together. Until next time, I'm Brenda Richley, Save the World Sister.