Cutting Off Narcissistic Parents And Reclaiming Your Life Force

Are you playing the role of the "perfect" daughter, wife, or mother while feeling like your true self has vanished? In this powerful episode, Brenda Ridgley sits down with Chris Wasco—a spiritual counselor, psychic medium, and author of An Old Soul’s Journey—to discuss breaking free from narcissistic abuse and a silenced nervous system.

Chris shares her raw "Midlife Funk" story: the terrifying moment she realized the abuse she endured as a child was beginning to touch her own children. This "straw that broke the camel's back" led her to cut ties with her parents and begin a massive life transformation. We explore the "Mother Wound"—the generational shadow that shapes how women relate to themselves and their friends—and how unmasking toxic family dynamics can literally heal your physical body.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Breaking Point: Why it often takes a threat to our children to make us stand up to our own bullies.
• The Narcissistic Spectrum: Understanding the difference between overt abuse and the mental manipulation of the "silent treatment."
• Healing the Nervous System: How trauma "mutes" our intuition and why Chris’s psychic gifts only came "online" once she finally felt safe.
• The Mother Wound & Enmeshment: Why having your mother as your "best friend" can actually be an energetic red flag for your marriage.
• Somatic Recovery: Moving from a "stressed breath" to a grounded life through mirror work and chakra exploration.

Actionable Insights:

1. Grounding Check: Learn to anchor your "roots" to exit fight-or-flight mode and breathe from your belly, not just your chest.
2. Solar Plexus Power: Use the "I am powerful" check-in to see if you are standing in your personal sovereignty.
3. Mirror Work: Start with just 20 seconds of looking at yourself with love to reclaim the identity trauma tried to hide.

About Our Guest: Chris Wasco is a spiritual counselor, energy healer, and creator of Spicy Old Souls, a deep-level soul healing program. She specializes in reading the chakra system and listening to the stories the body wants to share.

Connect with Chris: 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@energyhealingwithChris

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chriswaskomedium

Join the Movement: Stop going through the motions and start igniting your spark.

• Download the Midlife Clarity Map
• Join the Save the World Sisterhood

Subscribe & Review: If this episode gave you a "breath of relief," please subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps other women find their tribe and rewrite their midlife story.

Save the World, Sister! 🌍💃

#FindYourLadyTribe #MidlifeReinvention #MotherWound #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #ChakraHealing #RoleToSoul #SaveTheWorldSisterhood #BrendaRidgley

Connect with Brenda and get your FREE Midlife Clarity MAP

Website 

Facebook

YouTube

Instagram

Buy Lady and the Tribe; How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles

Join the Save the World Sisterhood

Transcript

Season Focus And Guest Intro

Speaker 0:00

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Find Your Lady Tribe podcast. I am your host, Brenda Ridgley, and this season is all about the midlife funk and the transformations that happen to women in midlife as we navigate our roles and grow beyond them. So I'm really excited to be talking to Chris Wasco today, who has an incredible story to share. And I'll tell you a little bit more about Chris. She is a spiritual counselor, an energy healer, and psychic medium who specializes in trauma recovery and nervous system regulation. She is the author of An Old Souls Journey, a guide to inner child healing, and the creator of Spicy Old Souls, a program for deep-level soul healing. Chris specializes in reading the chakra system and listening to the story the body wants to share. Welcome to the Find Your Lady Tribe Podcast. I'm your host, Brenda Ridgley. This is season four, and we are deep diving into the heart of midlife reinvention. That sense that you've mastered your roles, but you've lost your spark. You are exactly where you need to be. This season is inspired by the framework of my upcoming book. Ignite your life's purpose and save the world. We're going to help you move from autopilot to on fire by hearing from incredible women who have reclaimed their own life force. It's time to stop just going through the motions and start living your next chapter with intention. Let's ignite that spark. Save the world, sister. All so fascinating, Chris. I'm so interested in talking to you today. And you know, we always start in the messy middle. So tell us a little bit about, you know, your midlife funk. What uh was this what did the season of your life look like for you? And you know, maybe you at the time you felt like more of a collection of roles than a whole person and the soul that you really are.

The Moment Everything Changed

Speaker 1 2:10

Absolutely. My midlife funk was being daughter, wife, and mother. And what I recognized at this point in my life is how extremely narcissistic my parents were. Um while there are hints over the years and there was a lot of abuse, it's what I knew, it's what was my normal. So I accepted it. Um as that yeah, it's exactly. I did not know better. Um as I started to recognize it was touching my children and eventually um my husband, because my uh my father is physically abusive, uh, I finally said, enough, I'm not doing this anymore. And it was the starting point of a massive life change, but I was terrified because when you have parents like I do, you're used to them punishing you. So I was just waiting, what are they gonna do? How are they gonna try and hurt me? Uh, you know, are they gonna try and take my kids from me? I, you know, I was thinking all the worst things, all the, you know, all the fear responses were activated. Uh, but I it started my journey of healing, uh, an intense journey of healing, a very difficult journey of healing. But doing so allowed me to recognize all that I had dealt with in life and how it affected my nervous system.

Speaker 3:40

I was asking you a question about what you said. So, I mean, we um you grew up in an abusive situation, but you really didn't know any better because that's just the way it was. But when it started touching your children, that's when it was like, uh-uh. Can you go dig into that a little more?

Speaker 1 4:00

Yeah, my father hit my first child, and he was two years old, so nothing was warranted here. And I was very angry at myself for a while because I left my child alone with my bully. And the only reason I had done that is I was nursing my second child, and he had spit up all over me, and I had to go get something to clean up. So I left, and for the the mere moments it felt like I was gone, and I came back and I saw the look on my oldest son's face. I knew what happened because I used to wear that look. And we went through an ordeal at that time, but I chose to forgive. I really wanted a relationship with my parents. I do still even love my parents, and it took another eight years where then my father threatened to hit my husband. And that was my final, I'm not doing this anymore. And we've already were dealing with other aspects of abuse with both my mother and my father. I my mother was no longer physically abusive, but mentally, emotionally, uh, you know, there was a lot of manipulation, a lot of threats, a lot of uh, you know, my my mother loved to punish me with a silent treatment. So she would be angry with me and ignore me until I would apologize to her for something she did more often than not that was very hurtful. And it it was just uh it was just very toxic. But again, it was my normal. It's all I knew. Um I knew that I it needed to change, and in order to create the change, I needed to be the change. Yeah, and it was the hardest decision. Yeah, very hard decision, the hardest thing I've ever done, but it it changed my life for the better. And my only regret is not doing it sooner. I really feel I should have cut them off when my father hit my oldest. And I it took a long time for me to forgive myself for that one, and I'm probably still working on that because my children deserve better. And uh, it allowed me to do better in many ways. And I feel cutting them off allowed me to see myself better, to see a lot of the toxic traits I took on because that was the environment I was raised in. And even though I felt I was doing better than my parents because I wasn't hitting my children, they still had toxic elements that I didn't even realize were toxic until I really started diving into the elements of narcissism and what makes someone narcissistic, because it's a spectrum. There is no one type of narcissist. We tend to label the overt narcissist as the textbook type, but my parents are both on opposite sides of the narcissistic spectrum. So I really was educated throughout my entire childhood into my adult life on uh the elements of it. But healing it, healing my body, my nervous system essentially calmed me, calmed me enough to open to spirit, which I had no idea what was going on. I would be having a conversation like you and I are now, and I would see somebody in my mind's eye behind the person. And I didn't know what to do with that. So at first I just ignored it because I felt that it that was crazy. That felt a little insane. Uh, but over time it kept happening, and I recognized that okay, I there's probably something I could do with this. So I started studying psychic mediumship and how how to communicate with them because they don't have bodies anymore, they don't communicate like we do. Um yeah, like I said, this whole process, it's it's changed my life. And it re- I need I recognize why I needed the lessons I needed because of how I work now. I recognize trauma in people, I could feel it, I could see it. I I literally climb into people's chakra systems and kind of sit and explore what the body wants to reveal because the body shares so much if we just listen.

Speaker 8:17

That is so fascinating how you found your gift as an older and as an adult. Yes, whereas I feel like most of the stories I've heard, it's usually pretty early. And do you think it's because of your environment that it was suppressed?

Speaker 1 8:34

100%. Trauma mutes the nervous system and therefore will mute your connection, your intuitive abilities. And the more you can relieve that trauma, release trauma's energy. So when you release the trauma energy in the best way you can, we don't completely rid ourselves of it because it does form us. And there are parts of it that make us who we are, and I believe we need to learn to love those parts of us. But while I had inklings over the years that I could do this, and I had a lot, I had a lot of situations where I probably would have said, Yeah, I could do that once in a while, or I would have chalked it up as, you know, oh yeah, I'm just an intuitive empath. That's pretty much what I would have described myself as. But when it really came online, it it really came online. And it was almost yeah, it was waiting for you. It was waiting and ready. And I there's a part of me that wishes I would have been open to it sooner because I could have been doing this work. You know, my background's in business. I did what I was groomed to do. My parents wanted me to pretty much live their life. Uh, you know, they met on Wall Street. I was pretty much groomed for that. I majored in business. I worked in New York City for quite some time and I and I did very well. I was very successful, uh, but it wasn't bringing me joy. This work brings me joy. It I feel like I found my calling.

Speaker 10:07

Oh, that's wonderful. So, can can we kind of talk about the steps? Okay, so first of all, you decide to cut ties with your parents. I'd love to just hear in a little specific on what that looks like, because there are probably people out there with like, how? I I need to do that. What how? Unless it's just cold turkey. Just I mean, you tell me, but then like the steps of this healing, because it wasn't like oh, I cut them off. I'm okay, I'm back, right? Can we hear these your your steps?

Speaker 1 10:36

Yes, I really wish it could have been more gradual. For me, it was cold turkey because I I just said enough. I'm I'm not doing this. So it you know, it was dramatic. And I so I don't recommend that, but sometimes, you know, it's the straw that breaks the camel's back. So if that's what happens, it and sometimes it is what has to happen. It goes against the grain for a child to cut off a parent. So to do that, that's why any child that cuts off a parent, there's a story there. Because that just from a physiological standpoint, it goes against everything in your body to normalize that. So that in itself was so incredibly hard, and probably why I didn't do it sooner. I didn't feel strong enough, I didn't feel brave enough. So after I cut them off, I gave them a little space, meaning I would have allowed, you know, some conversations, right? But then they started doing things that were very mean. And I so it was slightly gradual, even though I was cutting myself off. I was, you know, at first allowing, you know, you want to come wish my kids happy birthday, you're welcome to do that. But then when they were mad at me, they ignored my children on their birthday. So I was like, no, we're not doing this anymore. You don't get to hurt my children because you're mad at me. So there was some progression and me trying to figure it out. I mean, I don't think when you cut off parents, you make this decision, that's it, I'm done forever. You you kind of just set up a boundary. I'm not allowing this anymore. And then you hope that maybe they'll want to do better and be better. That's where I was at. So it was a little desperate, to be honest. And I felt anxiety for the first time.

Speaker 12:28

Yeah, we have this. I mean, everyone has this strange bond with a parent because no matter how uh bad or good or whatever they were, we still want to please them. We still want to be, you know, approved of. And all no matter how wrong that they do it, we we want to do it better, but we still care about what they think and to uh disconnect like like you you did, and it sounds like it was absolutely the right choice. Um, so brave. Thank you.

Therapy Somatic Tools And Awakening Gifts

Speaker 1 13:01

Yeah, we are we're predisposed to behaviors that we would have adapted to as children. So when my parents were putting on all the same things they usually do, and I wasn't responding the way I used to response, I was creating the change. And change is scary, change is unknown. So I was navigating that in a very clueless way. My first step was to go to therapy, and I found somebody who specialized in narcissism and narcissistic abuse. And it was very helpful for me to unpack that and just to be validated for the first time in my life that what happened to me was for one, not normal, but not okay. Because I would often defend my parents. Oh, they had a very tough upbringing, oh, they struggled and I was challenging because I was told all the time how difficult I was. So I felt I was the problem, but I recognize the worst things, even to this day, that have ever been said to me in my life have been said by the two people that were supposed to love me the most. And you know, that does something to a child, it makes you have a lot of self-hatred. So I was unpacking a lot of that as well. Um, then I just started learning somatic therapy techniques on my own because I didn't like how my nervous system was responding. I didn't like that I was feeling anxious. So I did tapping a lot. Uh, emotional freedom technique, EFT, if anyone's heard of any of those, it's all the same thing, but it helps you heal on a cellular level. It helps retrain your body to respond differently. And I felt that was so incredibly helpful, especially when I was feeling anxious because I had never felt anxious before, but I was I was terrified. What are they gonna do? I remember one time someone knocked on my door, my front door, and I I hid, I literally hid in my house, don't answer the door because I was scared my mother sent somebody to try and get to me. And I was a grown woman having this kind of response, but that's what trauma does. You go to the responses that your body's accustomed to. So my body's accustomed to fight or flight. So I was ready to fight somebody or run away from them. And learning that was so important and calming my nervous system. And that's also where I started learning about the chakra system more in depth. And at the time, I had an autoimmune thyroid condition that I've since healed because a lot of what I had dealt with growing up is what created that thyroid condition. And when I was no longer in that environment with those people, I had the ability to heal. There's that saying you can't heal in the environment that made you sick. I I'm walking evidence of that because I don't have a thyroid condition anymore, and I feel healthier than I've had in a very long time.

Speaker 16:08

Right. So before you actually um made the big cutoff, the big cutoff, um probably everything in your life on the outside looked fine, but what was your inner soul saying to you?

Speaker 1 16:25

This isn't right. I would hear that often inside. This isn't right, this isn't okay. Why am I doing this? A lot of that. It was a lot of recognizing and also being the one often calling it out, but no one doing anything about it, even though I had plenty of people agreeing with me. Oh, yes, she does that about my mother, or oh yes, that she does that to me too. Like my sister dealt with it also. Uh, my brother did not because he's the golden child, but no one would speak up. I was the only one, and I was punished severely for it many, many, many times. And so I felt very alone that I didn't have support. Um and my parents are very intimidating people, and they're also rather wealthy. So when you have that, it kind of brings some power. And over the years, I, you know, I didn't feel like I had the power, strength to stand up to them, even though I knew I probably should have, but it's really difficult to understand how to navigate that when there are elements of that that can feel like your version of safety, even though it's not safe. You know, I was financially provided for growing up, so that would have felt safe, but it was highly conditional. I probably would have been better off trying to figure it out on my own somehow, as hard as that would have been to have not dealt with the things I dealt with with them. But we only know what we know. And when we know better, we do better. And yeah, it allowed me to, I allowed myself to get to that place. But I certainly, yes, prior to I had those inklings of this isn't right, I don't like this. Uh, I moved away from them when I was pregnant with my second child. I knew I needed to be away from them, and I even had said to my husband, I don't trust my father near my children, or near our children, I should say. And I was right. Uh that and I I just forgot that moment of, you know, again, it was acting like, oh, I just got spit up on, I need something, thinking it's just for what maybe a minute. And it's amazing what could happen in in a minute.

Speaker 18:50

It it is, and and you were going through all this new motherhood, these new motherhood emotions and hormones and all that stuff too. So add that all up. I mean, it's you know, that's that's just you had a lot.

Speaker 1 19:03

Yes, and I thank you for saying that because I don't feel we give ourselves enough credit for all we go through as mothers, especially in those early years. I was absolutely overwhelmed. And and we often feel drawn to our parents, our own mothers, to be there, to help us, to support us. And what my mother did was try and convince my son that it didn't happen. And I lived that, and then I was witnessing that with my own child, and I said, No, you are not doing this to him. I said, You did this to me my entire life. You don't get to do it to him. And then she got mad at me, and then my father got mad at me because my mother was mad at me, even after my father hit my son. It was, I mean, it was a circus, but I was part of the circus. I allowed the circus, I stayed in the circus. It was until I left the circus that I realized, wow, this doesn't have to be my life anymore. It doesn't mean I don't miss having parents. I do, but I more miss the idea of what I deserved as parents, and that's not the people that I got in this lifetime.

Subscribe Break And Mother Wound

Speaker 20:11

Yeah. Hey lady, just wanted to take a moment and interrupt right now in the middle of the show to ask you to subscribe. Yes, press that button right now. This show is all about you, the mid-life woman. Let's do this thing together. So join us. Subscribe now. In our private conversation, Chris, um, you talked a little bit about the mother wound. And I'm a little unfamiliar. And I for those listeners out there who also may, it might be a new term, what is the mother wound and how does it kind of quietly shape women's relationships even with their friends?

Speaker 1 20:54

The mother wound is often related to the relationship we had or have with our own mothers. And even if it was non-existent, it can create a wound. It forms something. Usually I see it in the heart chakra, sometimes other chakras, depending on how the body was affected. But it creates an energy within us that affects how we relate with other women, especially. So I recognized in my own life how I often was having friendships with women who were either amazing, and I still have those girlfriends to this day, or who were highly toxic. But I had to recognize I had a mother that could sometimes be amazing and other times be highly toxic. But that also meant that so was I. And I really had to unpack those elements within myself. What was making me toxic and what made me amazing, and how can I heal that? And the mother wound is a vulnerable wound because it can. Feel very make us feel very isolated, sad, and lonely, and feel like we can't have friendships with other women. That's when there's usually things like competition or jealousy involved, because it then shoots down energetically to lower chakras. So I have this wound and now it's affecting lower chakras, and I'm behaving in this way, where if a woman is doing better than me, I'm automatically jealous or I don't like her. Uh, if a woman is uh a more uh a stronger personality than me, then I therefore won't like her. You know, things like that. It's it kind of creates these barriers of where we don't allow people, especially women, to be who they are and to not judge them for that. To, you know, we don't have to necessarily like everybody. You know, that's not what this is about. It's it's just more of can we recognize, okay, that might not be for me. Um, but cheers to them for being who they are. And you move on instead of making judgments and criticisms, because it all it just tells you a lot of what's going on inside yourself.

Speaker 23:09

Yeah, I was just gonna say, um, it feels like very much like looking into a mirror because we are um as I don't know if it's as as a society or whatnot, women are kind of we show up in our roles. Who do you need me to be? Who do you need to be? And if someone else is showing up but not as you need them to be or expect, then we judge. And maybe that's just really going back to our own. We're showing up as we think the role that someone wants.

Enmeshment Approval And Adult Boundaries

Speaker 1 23:38

Absolutely. We're always wearing different hats. We always present ourselves in different ways, especially, you know, professionally versus personally, is a perfect example of that. We often act differently at work than we do in our personal lives, but it always comes down to who you are in your heart space. And the relationship we have with our mothers says a lot of that. And it's very interesting in this because I work so much with the chakras. I've actually had people will tell me when I recognize a mother wound, and they'll tell me, but I have a great relationship with my mother. For me, I recognize that as one of two things. Mom carries a mother wound also, and it's traveled through generationally, or there's enmeshment. I also used to believe my mother was my best friend. And any woman that says, My mother is my best friend, and they're married or has a romantic partner, that for me is a red flag. Because a mother should never be a best friend over a partner in life. Your life partner should be your best friend. Once your mother is, from an energetic standpoint, because I work with energy, she is literally the third person in your marriage or your relationship every single time. Even if she's not nosy, even if you do have what seems like this great relationship, that's enmeshment because it hasn't allowed the solidification of the romantic relationship. So mom energetically is in there too. And that disrupts a relationship. A lot of people don't see that. It usually is seen in little ways, uh, like they don't get a lot of date time or they have a lot of stress in their relationship and kids feel like they're in the way. There's just usually these little life things we chalk up to, well, that's just life. But if that's your best friend, you guys are gonna have this energetic bond that rises above that life stuff. But once mom's energy is in there, it actually pulls you away from each other from an energetic standpoint. But like I said, a lot of people don't see that. So that's one of the more challenging things with a mother wound. Uh, and and it usually triggers people when I say, you know, that when they feel like mom's their best friend, and I say that shouldn't be the case. I I'm usually a little more gentle. I'm more saying this for sake of um, you know, people that are watching, listening, that it's important to know this. But people tend to be very triggered by that, especially if they feel very close to their mothers.

Speaker 26:13

I love when you were explaining it at first how you said how it shows up, but uh for you, it showed up as either awesome, amazing, or uh what did you say? Or toxic. Or toxic. Okay, yeah. Um, and then but not only did you say that your mother had those characteristics, but then you took accountability and said, Therefore I do. I think that's a step that often is missed.

Speaker 1 26:41

Very because it's so difficult, it's so challenging to look in the mirror and see what it sucks about you. Just to be fully blunt there. It because it's not about putting ourselves down and saying, Oh, this is terrible. It's more of ooh, that's not okay. Yeah, you know better, you can do better.

Speaker 27:03

And it's not your fault, really.

Speaker 1 27:05

No, we often don't know. It comes uh organically because we're when we're raised in an environment and we're behaving from said environment, we don't always recognize the toxic elements. Um, you know, like the silent treatment is a perfect example because oftentimes when people are hurt, they shut down. So it's not often considered the silent treatment if someone needs space. But when there's a pattern of someone always shutting down and not speaking to another person until they apologize first, that's a toxic behavior. And so there's always kind of a line of, well, when is that okay? You know, we could look at it from a time standpoint. How much time do you need to recover your thoughts and emotions in order to have a conversation? Because it always comes down to healthy communication. And many of us are not taught healthy communication. If anything, I would say my healing journey has taught me so much about healthy communication. And I'm very grateful for that because it's just put me in a very good state of peace that I can have difficult conversations with people without it being confrontational. Because I was raised in an environment where it was always confrontational. So to learn that, wow, it doesn't have to be that way, that was huge for me. And I'm so grateful for that lesson.

Speaker 28:34

Oh, yeah, for sure. So you you maybe already touched on this a little bit when you when you talked about um mother possibly being best friend, but what are some subtle signs that a woman might still be seeking her approval um even as an adult?

Speaker 1 28:52

They talk to their mother constantly. They will, especially about private things, um, their sexual relationships, their financial uh relationship with money, uh, because it's an over-sharing. And oftentimes we get so accustomed to having shared so much with our mothers. So, but there is a line once you are in a romantic relationship of this is for me and my partner. This is not for my parents, this is not for my mother. I remember when my mother asked me about my sex life with my husband, and then I could talk to her about that. And I was so uncomfortable. And it turned out because my sister was constantly doing that, and they felt like they had this great bond because of that. But to me, that just felt intrusive. And like I said, it is an energy. So if we are constantly going to our mothers, turning to our mothers, we're looking for this kind of approval. We are looking for love ultimately. And when we're seeking it outside of ourselves, we're never gonna find it for one. But when we are seeking it outside of our relationship, that will affect the relationship because you're literally energetically turning away from your partner.

Speaker 30:12

That makes a lot of sense. It really does. Um, so what does healing that mother wound really look like in real life?

Speaker 1 30:23

It depends on the depth of it, but I would say mirror work is a huge one, looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing how you start with that, because mirror work is one of the most challenging kind of practices that one can do. And people usually do not last longer than a couple days to a week with mirror work. Because you have to look in the mirror and just start looking at yourself and say, I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of what you've done in life and start talking about you. I think you're beautiful. And as you start saying these things in the beginning, it's hard. Oh, to look at myself, Chris. I love you. I would get tears in my eyes. You know, so mirror work really shows us how that mother wound shows up because it's the stuff we didn't hear growing up or the stuff we didn't believe and still don't believe. So that's springing that wound out and it's very heart chakra centered. So that's why it brings up a lot of emotions and also why people don't like to do it for a long period of time, because it's hurting. It really creates this energetic friction. So sometimes you just have to start in these small doses. Maybe you just do it for a couple minutes, try and work your way up to five if you can. Um, the first time you're doing it, you're probably doing it for like 10 to 20 seconds, and it's fine because it's effort, but you're taking those steps to look at yourself, and that's trying to look at the good stuff. And I believe in starting there. I don't feel we should start just stripping ourselves down as soon as we do that, because that I when we're working to heal, that's harder. You're basically bringing shadow work in first. And I don't feel that that's very supportive energetically. That's one of the good starts to do it because it it helps you understand your own inner compass too. Where am I feeling affected as I'm saying these words to myself? Like, am I feeling it in my body? Am I feeling it uh in my gut, my heart? You know, it tells us where we're carrying the wound.

Grounding Solar Plexus And Power

Speaker 32:42

Very interesting. So, Chris, um I I like to uh leave our audience with some tips to you know, one to three get started, you know, today or this week. Some some action step that they can if they did it this week, they'd just be start moving forward in the direction of what's their better life. Do you have some advice? Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 33:08

So I love for people to understand their own body. Um one is to recognize am I grounded? Because healing is very challenging if we are not grounded. So you don't necessarily have to go outside and bare feet, but you could just stand on the you know on the ground. Obviously, you're standing two feet, you're kind of do your best to center and ask your body, do I feel grounded? And start checking in. The body has an inner yes or no, it tells us this. If you're not getting a yes or a no, then I recommend going outside. Do I feel grounded? Now, if you need a little more help and you don't want to go outside because I know some people are dealing with winter and that's a little cold, check it with your breath. Do I feel grounded? And then take a deep breath and notice am I are you filling your entire lungs with air? Because oftentimes when we have had a lot of trauma in life, we are only filling our lungs about halfway. And it's called a stressed breath because it's all in the upper area of our lungs. We're not really filling the lower area of our lungs. So take that deep breath. See, is my chest cavity filling? Is my stomach able to fill and then release? Because if not, you're probably not grounded. And now let's say you realize you're not grounded. What you then do is you visualize yourself as being grounded. You say, I am grounded. I like to visualize roots growing out of my feet and into the earth and feel myself connected to the earth. And it's all visual. So what we do in our own minds helps us with our bodies because our mind affects our bodies. So grounding is really a very good step to then understanding the body because I've checked in with a lower chakra. The next one I like to check in with is my solar plexus, which is just that like right under the rib cage there, your upper gut, as I call it. And that's your your chakra of your personal power. So I like to put my hands there and feel where I am and feel centered and feel that self-power and feel and just say the words, I am powerful, and see if that resonates with you. Because if you believe it, you know your solar plexus is doing well and you're connected to your personal power. But if you're saying I am powerful, and there's that part of you that's like, I don't know about that, you know that there's something off energetically. So that's a really good start to understanding how your body is working, how it's responding, because then you're understanding your responses, you're understanding your trauma, you're understanding how you receive things, uh, you know, good or bad, and how the body takes hits energetically, how the body protects itself energetically. Um when you get to mastery of that, you live a very vibrant life because then you're very connected to, oh, this is off in me. I can I can work to heal that, or this is off in me. When we're starting, we feel like everything's off because it's just I don't even know what to do. So that's why I say start simply start to see if you're grounded and then check in with your solar plexus.

Speaker 36:33

I love that. Just taking some time to be present.

unknown 36:37

Right.

Finding Chris Friendship Rituals Closing

Speaker 36:38

And and feeling yourself and taking note of how you're feeling. That's thank you for that.

Speaker 1 36:46

Or Chris, how do we find you? You can find me at um my website, which is my name, Chriswasco.com.

Speaker 36:55

Okay, awesome.

Speaker 1 36:56

And um what kinds of coaching are you're offering ? So I like to offer energy healing reading sessions as my most popular because uh people like when their chakras are read to see what story their body is sharing. And I also teach spiritual development classes because like me, when people start healing all these elements, they realize they become more and more intuitive, but they don't know what to do with it. And I remember feeling so lost, and I like to help people feel less lost on that journey.

Speaker 37:31

Oh, lovely. I love that. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. My last question is always, Chris, how do you tribe?

Speaker 1 37:41

I tribe from the heart, I tried with authenticity, and I love the fact that I'm in this place where I am I have learned to call in the most beautiful women in my life because I was able to heal those layers of trauma, and I'm not carrying the toxicity anymore. And I I feel very blessed every day, but I I lead with my heart instead of trying to protect it, and it has really served me well.

Speaker 38:09

That is beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I love it. Um, can I ask you like, do you have any rituals that you as far as like habits as a as a with your friend group?

Speaker 1 38:21

So I am really grateful in that I have friends in all spans because being in a very spiritual space, most of my friends are in the muggle space. So a lot of people would assume we're like doing these like bonfire rituals and all that. So no, a lot of what we're doing is just we, you know, it's really checking in. Um, I I have a lot of friends that work as I work. So we always are for us, it's time. We make the time for each other, we talk to each other, and even if we don't get to see each other, we we do put in effort for each other. So that's more of what I would say is the ritual. Because I'll notice if a couple of days gone by I haven't heard from so and so, I'm reaching out to so and so. How are you today? Checking in. And then I have friends that every day we make sure we're sending texts, have a great day. How are you doing? How would you how's your evening? You're feeling great. Uh so it really just depends on the the friend uh and just where we're at. But again, it's it's heart led, you know. I I and I'll also feel if some something's going on with someone and they get a little nervous, I'll get that, I'll send that text, everything okay? And they're like, What'd you feel? So um, so I've learned to be a little better about how I deliver that because I don't want people to panic. Uh but yeah, no matter what though, it's always heart-led. And the more I've I've recognized that, the better my relationships have been and the stronger they've become. Even the friendships I've had for over 20 years now, they're just stronger because um I I come from that heart center and it's so much healthier than it once was.

Speaker 40:08

That's lovely. Chris, thank you so much for sharing today so wholeheartedly about topics that are not that easy to talk about. And I I just know that someone out there is going to resonate with your story and find some power and courage in it. So thank you so much for sharing today. And to our listeners, uh, thank you for showing up, uh, showing up for yourself and showing up for your own transformation and showing up for whatever is big and powerful and next for you in your life because it is there and it's happening. So um, with that, um I'll sign off by saying, when three or more gather, we are tribe. Thank you for spending this time with your lady tribe. I always say that when three or more gather, we are tribe. And today, with my guests, myself, and you listening in, that circle is complete. I hope this story reminded you that your purpose is worth the pursuit. If this episode stirs something new, please click a button to subscribe, like, and leave a comment. Your engagement helps other sisters find their way to our circle. If you're ready to take the next step in your own transformation, I invite you to enjoy our gathering place, the Save the World Sisterhood Facebook Group. It's where we unpack, connect, and cheer each other on as we ignite our lives together. Until next time, I'm Brenda Ridgley. Save the world, sister.