The Poison We All Drink Without Realising

Most people think comparison is harmless — just a quick glance at how others are doing.

But the truth is, measuring your progress against someone else’s highlight reel can quietly rob you of joy, focus, and confidence.

In this Sunday Session, I’m sharing why comparison is poison, how it shows up for HR consultants, and the simple shift that frees you to focus on your own lane and your own growth.

So tune in, reflect, and ask yourself: where are you comparing right now — and how can you turn that energy into progress?

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Transcript

0:00 Hello there, and welcome back to another episode of Sunday Sessions with me, Nick Poninski. Today, I want to talk about something that creeps in for all of us.
0:09 Comparison. Now, it is easier than ever to compare yourself these days. Social media, it's ingrained in social media. You open LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, whatever, and what do you see?
0:21 You see other people's highlight reels. Not their struggles, not their quiet days, not the mistakes they made along the way.
0:28 Just the- Polished highlights, the polished version. And here's the danger. When you look at all this stuff, you end up comparing your backstage or the mess and the uncertainty to someone else's highlight reel.
0:42 No wonder it feels disheartening. And I think- Theodore Roosevelt, he said it best. He said comparison is the thief of joy.
0:50 And he was right. And we know this, right? I'm sure you've heard this before. But here's a little reminder for ya.
0:57 Now I fall into this trap myself, right? The comparison. I see the guy drive asked in a brand new top of the range Ferrari and I think I'd like that.
1:06 And then I look at my mentor, who's built a multi-million pound business, lives in a mansion, has ultimate freedom of choice.
1:13 And I think I'd like that. But the truth is those four. They don't help me. They don't get me closer to where I want to be.
1:22 And I also know something else. My mentor is not an overnight success. He speaks very little openly about where he started.
1:30 He's been close to bankruptcy. He's faced trials and tribulations that nearly broke him. And yet, he turned it all around.
1:37 Now that didn't happen because he sat scrolling on social media, wishing for someone else's highlight reel, wishing for someone else's life.
1:44 It happened because he got his head down. He did the work and he focused on his own path. And that's the reminder I need when comparison creeps in.
1:54 Head down, focus, do the work. And I see it with HR consultants too, right? Uh, various clients that I speak to, prospects, whoever I speak to, you know, you might be starting- Now, maybe you've got a handful of clients and then you look around, you see the big name consultancies, the award winners, 
2:12 the C.I.P.D. speakers. And it's easy to think, I'm nowhere near that. Why bother? Take someone like Georgia Dixon on LinkedIn.
2:18 Loads of likes, loads of- loads of comments, loads of visibility. It's tempting to look at that and think, I'd love that level of attention.
2:29 And I think this, right? It is super tempting to think, when I see her stuff, it is super tempting to be jealous.
2:37 But here's the truth, right? For me, p- Personally, I'm on a different path to her, with different aims. I don't necessarily want what she has.
2:44 Sure, I'd love to be on a stage one day with people listening to, to what I've got to say. But I can't do everything at all at once.
2:51 Right now that isn't one of my goals, maybe in due course. So I have to keep reminding myself, focus on my path, my goals, my work.
2:59 That's what matters. You know, back in 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger, I don't know if I've said that right, Festinger. Anyway, Leon Festinger.
3:10 He came up with a, he came up with a theory and was called social comparison theory. He said that as human beings, we have this built-in drive to evaluate ourselves against others.
3:22 It's natural. But let's be honest, just because it's natural. It doesn't mean it's helpful. So when you use comparison as fuel for a self-doubt, it eats away at you.
3:33 But if you can flip it, if you can use comparison as inspiration instead, then it can actually serve you. Right?
3:40 So instead of, ooh, they're ahead of me. I'll never get that. You can say, if they can do it, that proves it's possible.
3:46 So I need to keep going. So here's my takeaway for you this Sunday. The antidote to comparison is focus. Focus on your own length, focus on your own pace, focus on your own growth.
3:59 So here's a question, and here's a question to reflect on this week. Where are you comparing yourself right now? And how can you redirect that energy into growth?
4:08 So thanks for listening along. I hope you've enjoyed today's show. And as ever, because it's Sunday, embrace the change. Because how we change is how we grow.
4:17 So,