Our 2 Cents Vol. 35: Family, Money, and Boundaries

Being a good friend, partner, sibling, or parent should not require you to sacrifice your financial stability, emotional health, and peace just to prove that you care. This week, Nesha G and Moelethal return with another edition of Our 2 Cents, bringing humor, honesty, and grown-folks perspective to a new collection of complicated listener dilemmas.

In this episode, we discuss a bride expecting her maid of honor to spend nearly $5,000, a woman who has already given her older boyfriend $20,000, and a sister who used fake work emergencies to receive free childcare. Nesha and Moe examine when generosity becomes enabling, why guilt is often used to manipulate dependable people, and how to recognize when someone values your resources more than your relationship.

They also weigh in on an absent friend asking to move in with her boyfriend and two dogs, along with a stay-at-home mother struggling beneath unrealistic expectations. Through every story, one question remains: how much should you give before choosing yourself becomes necessary?

Transcript

Cold Open: Excited Until He Comes Home

SPEAKER_06 0:00

She said, she said, she was like, y'all, tell me why I'm just like a golden retriever. She said, I'll be so excited for my man to come home. She said, as a stay-at-home wife, I'll be excited for my. Now I know he's gonna piss me off 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_04 0:12

As soon as you get home. Cause that's how me.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Like, I be excited for my space. Like, legit, I'm excited for my space. I'm like, okay, what am I gonna get done today? What stores I'm gonna go to today. And then I'll be like, okay, my babe finna come home. And then you come home about 20, 25 minutes later, I'll be like, yeah, just go to bed.

Welcome Back to Life After I Do

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Hey everybody, and welcome back to your weekly dose of the Life After I Do podcast.

SPEAKER_06 0:54

Wait, my baby, hold on. My baby don't feel good, y'all. She she mustering through. She can't give y'all the energy she needs. We're gonna go.

SPEAKER_05 1:01

I'm gonna give you what I got.

SPEAKER_06 1:02

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Nesha Is Sick but Still Recording

SPEAKER_05 1:05

Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of a Life After I Do podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Hey. Oh my man. Hi guys.

SPEAKER_06 1:15

My baby going through it, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

I mean, I'm feeling better than I was. Oh, okay. Um, I'm about, I feel like I'm about 65, 70%.

SPEAKER_06 1:23

I want you to know that no matter how good or not good you feel, the ass is fat.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_06 1:32

I don't mind rubbing your booty to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah, you do, because you didn't rub it to sleep the other night.

SPEAKER_06 1:36

Well, because I was already asleep and you was doing too much tossing and turning it.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Because I couldn't breathe.

SPEAKER_06 1:42

I know, baby. Hey Booski.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Hi.

SPEAKER_06 1:44

How was your week? Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

My week has been terrible.

SPEAKER_06 1:47

I know. You just sick. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 1:50

We are. Thank God.

SPEAKER_06 1:51

I mean, we're we're recording later than normal, so you know uh we apologize, Patreon. Life happens. Yeah. Sorry. Well, you'll get it a couple hours early, but you won't be like a couple days early.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Um, but I'm here, y'all. Is she here? Because y'all mean so much to me. By the grace of God. I said, you know what? I'm gonna pick myself up by my trousers.

SPEAKER_05 2:14

By the trout trousers is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take another dose of day quill that only works for like 45 minutes, and I'm gonna give you the best 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_06 2:28

She said, she said, when you laid your head on that pillow at night. Yes, no, she gave you all she had.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

You could you know what I really be thinking about? What does it mean? I don't want to interrupt nobody's week. Because look, nothing is nothing's more irritating to like having a weekly ritual with certain stuff.

SPEAKER_06 2:44

And then it don't drop.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Yeah, like because that's how I am too with the podcast that I listen to. Like, I have my Monday podcast, like my Monday and Thursdays, right? And it's like if there's any type of interruption, I'll be like, what do you mean I'm not getting the episode today? What is your problem? You know, I can appreciate I can appreciate like doing a re a rerun.

SPEAKER_06 3:04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

But yeah, I'm nothing, I'll be like, oh.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

This had me thinking, I'm gonna have to just start putting aside like um, I'ma start, I'm gonna have to start cultivating best of series.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Right.

SPEAKER_06 3:18

And so the week that you don't feel like uh it's gonna just be a best of. We're gonna just revisit it.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Like right now, I'm all of a sudden having a coughing spell. It's okay, we're gonna get through it. And I haven't even been coughing, but it's also because I'm talking.

SPEAKER_06 3:30

Yeah, but you've been whispering at me all day, all week, though.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Oh, yeah. Well, that's because earlier in the week. Because earlier in the week I had the sore throat, right? So on

How the Sickness Started

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Saturday, everything, I was having a fabulous Saturday. I had volume work for deadlifts.

SPEAKER_06 3:48

Deadlifts looked strong.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

They felt strong, they looked strong. I had my gym friend and my husband there with me. We were all having a grand old time. Everything was good. Everything was good. Um came home well afterwards, went and got um a post-workout meal was fabulous.

SPEAKER_06 4:05

Oh, it was delicious.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

It was delicious. Um, came home, showered, you know, tried to relax, you know, decompress a little bit. About 3:30, 4 o'clock. Like started late in the evening. Four o'clock, my ear was hurting. I was like, okay, my ear hurts. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 4:27

That's what new that's new.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

That's new. I'm not gonna look into it too much. Then the left side of my throat started getting sore, and I said, Oh, and you know, you know, as soon as, as soon as you get a twinkle in the throat, I feel like everybody's crazy. Everybody be like, you stop. You be like, oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Wait a minute. Because everything starts with a damn sore throat, you know?

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Wait a minute, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

And so when my throat started, that's when I had told you. I was like, Oh, I kind of need, I think I need to get some tea. And you're like, Some tea. And I was like, Yeah, I think I need to get some tea, but we didn't have Splenda, and I'm not drinking my tea without Splenda.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

That's just because we don't do regular shit.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

That's crazy. Um, I do it with honey too, but I need my my one pack of Splenda and honey too. So I went, um, I let this go on for a little bit, about nine o'clock at night. I went and got some Slinda made. Which is crazy.

SPEAKER_06 5:16

I think I was asleep.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

I said, Where'd you go? Because I had to go to Target and I was like, maybe a little snack will make me feel better too. So I picked up Splinda and I picked up some chips and dip. Cause you know, you know, snacks normally make me feel better. So I was like, let me let me get a little snack too, because I'm here, you know? And so I came back home. Me and Phoenix was eating the chips and dip, and I was like, This ain't doing it.

SPEAKER_06 5:41

I'm saying it.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

No. It just spun out from there. Okay. Next day I woke up.

SPEAKER_06 5:50

Damn bad. She woke up. I'm telling y'all, she woke up damn bad, y'all. I was down all the way back. I might have to read today. Y'all gonna have to struggle through with it.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Yeah, I was gonna say, because I need to get some water right now.

SPEAKER_06 6:01

Cause I read at the third grade reading level.

Moe’s Week and Returning to Work

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Now he just be stuttering a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 6:09

Cause I read too fast.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

That is sometimes you you know how some people uh type as they how they you know, and I read exactly what you type, and you be reading, and you don't sometimes you gotta like make the sentence make sense.

SPEAKER_06 6:22

I'll read exactly what they type so the world can know how dumb they sound. No, you was dumb. You were dumb. You was dumb really dumb for real. For real.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

How was your week? Uh my week was great. Oh, I'm so happy. We are totally on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

SPEAKER_06 6:36

I did not get sick. Knock on wood. I'm not gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

That he don't get sick. Well, I mean, I that nobody else in the house gets sick.

SPEAKER_06 6:45

I do uh I I I I do have a constant sickness for your thickness.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

I knew you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_06 6:51

So, I mean, I'm always dealing with that.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

I knew he was about to say that.

SPEAKER_06 6:54

But outside of that, you know, it's it was pretty solid, you know. Um, you know, the we're in a the uh transitional period of uh

Why Sick People Should Stay Out the Gym

SPEAKER_06 7:03

I'm about to go back to life as usual. Life as usual and my place of employment after all these months, and uh it's going back to his his work schedule, yeah. So, but other than that, my my we it's been great.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

But I'm sure if you need me to read a couple, it's been great for him because he got to go to the gym. Because unlike some people, I stayed my ass at home because you were sick, because I was sick, oh man, right? Because, like, listen, I get I get working through like being sick and working out and stuff like that, but sometimes you also have to know when to like sit your ass down, right? Because nothing irritated me more than getting on social media and looking at some of the people that I gym with and them saying that they were sick, but they were still at the gym. Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

That's why we were gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

And I was like, and that's what I showed, I showed him that, and I was like, seriously, like that's that's probably how I got sick because you're still in the gym and you're you know trying to push through, you know, thinking you're above the 1%, pushing through. And I get it, trust me, because I wanted to go and bitch on Monday and I wanted to do all the things on Tuesday. Like, I wanted to do all the things, but not, I mean, considering the the way I feel, and also considering the people that I would be around and touching equipment and coughing and doing uh this, that, and the third, like let's be considerate, guys. I will say this. At least stay home for the first few days where you're not uh so you're not at least contagious.

SPEAKER_06 8:32

I will say this. Since you've been sick, I've been double wiping everything. I say this. You have to. I said, I'm not gonna be able to. You have to. But I will say that uh my uh my test workout on Monday.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Wow, see, and then he and then he just like rubs it in. As soon as he comes home, I'm trying to be like nice and be interesting. How was your workout? Oh, let me tell you. I'm like, never mind.

SPEAKER_06 8:55

Yeah, all right, man, it's doing great. This week, tell me about it.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

I want to hear all about it.

SPEAKER_06 9:01

This week has been great. What's been great about it? I'm thinking, like, if I get if I get on the if I get a if I start a cycle, it ain't gonna be no place in there that can handle me. And they're gonna run, okay? Because I'm feeling strong this week.

SPEAKER_05 9:12

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 9:12

All right, that's all I'm gonna say. I'm feeling strong. I'm moving big boy weights.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06 9:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

I got a little tinkle.

SPEAKER_06 9:20

It's like a little tingle.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

A little tingle back there, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:23

Okay, well, guys, uh, I'm gonna do most of the talking because as you can see.

Our 2 Cents Begins

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Your girl is trying not to be down.

SPEAKER_06 9:30

She, but she down.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

But I'm down, y'all.

SPEAKER_06 9:33

This uh will be an R2 Sits episode. It's an R2 Sits, everyone's favorite.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

The end of the month. So when you guys, well, the beginning of the month, because when you guys hear this, it'll be the July 1st. Happy, happy July 1st. Happy first of the month. Wake up, wake up, wake up. It's the first of the month. Get up, get up, get up.

SPEAKER_06 9:53

Cash O Jackson, come on.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Wake up, wake up, wake up.

SPEAKER_06 9:57

If she feels good enough to sing, she can read.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

I can I'm I'm going, I'm going to read. I'm going to read. If you can find them, huh? If I can find it, hold on. Because you know how. They play my life.

SPEAKER_06 10:10

Um, yeah, so you know, we just dealing with it, and um, you know, she will feel better, and we're gonna get we're gonna get it.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Like I said, I feel like I'm at the tail end.

SPEAKER_06 10:21

I think that one's gone, baby.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Yeah, the that's why I have to do them like this. Um, like I said, I feel like I'm at the tail end, but I'm just not like obviously I'm not at the end, you know, and I'm ready to be at the end. Although I don't think, because isn't it like 48 hours or 78 hours is like where you're contagious. Yeah, I'm not contagious. Well, I mean, if you are too late. I mean, I'm we sleep, we slept next to each other every night. I know. Ain't like I'm quarantined. I know, I know. I mean, I don't have COVID. Let me ask you clarify that. I don't have COVID. So just you know if you do, I'll take it. Okay. You know what I mean? No, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. Um, but you can you can read the first one. I'll have you read the first one. Okay, is that all of it right there? I'll have you read the first one. Is this and this? All right. Oh gosh. Okay, now listen, guys. I just I just want to preface this by saying that my husband is a high school graduate and a college dropout. Yeah, he's a he is a high school graduate, he is very smart. Um, he is he's literate, he can read.

SPEAKER_06 11:30

He is dumb, he is very, very dumb. For real.

SPEAKER_05 11:37

No, but I'm gonna, you know what? I'm gonna do what I gotta do.

Maid of Honor Costs Nearly $5,000

SPEAKER_05 11:40

He's good.

SPEAKER_06 11:41

I'm gonna redust these for y'all, okay? Yeah. This is this is gonna be different this week, I guess.

unknown 11:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Yeah, you read and I'll react.

SPEAKER_06 11:48

So the title of this one is My Best Friend Asked Me to be her maid of honor and sent me a spreadsheet of what it would cost. I'm out. My best friend got engaged in April. I was generally happy for her. We have known each other since middle school and have always said we would be in each other's weddings. Last week she asked me to be her maid of honor. Then she sent me a spreadsheet. Dress, alterations, shoes, hair, makeup, bridal shower contributions, bachelorette Airbnb, Airbnb flights, decorations, matching pajamas, dinner reservations, group activities, emergency wedding fund, and a few things I still do not fully understand. My estimated total was $4,700.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

It's a large contribution to be a big one.

SPEAKER_06 12:32

I thought maybe I was reading it wrong. I called her and I said I was honored to be, I was honored, but that number is not realistic to me. I have some money saved up on rolling riches, but I also have rent and student loans, and my car needed repairs last month. I can do the dress, I can help plan and show up. I cannot spend almost five grand being a bridesmaid. She got quiet and said she needed she really needed people around her who were all in. I asked her what that meant. She said it was once in her lifetime and she did not want to spend the next year managing other people's limitations. That sentence has been sitting in my chest ever since. I told her I was not trying to make her wedding about money. She said money is a part of showing up. Whether people want to admit it or not, I ended the call privately, I'm sorry, I ended the call politely, but I uh have not answered the group chat since. The other bridesmaids are acting like this is normal, and one of them already sent Vemo requests for an Airbnb deposit. I feel embarrassed, honestly, like I failed some adulthood tests where everyone else can casually absorb thousands of dollars for someone else's wedding. But another part of me is angry. I have loved her for 17 years. I have showed up for breakups, funerals, panic attack, bad apartments, worst boyfriends, and everything in between. I do not know my I I'm sorry, I did not know my friendship had a minimum spend limit. Would I uh would I would you step down or would you try to make it work somehow?

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Me?

SPEAKER_06 14:01

Yeah, that's that's what she asked. I'm done at the 4,700.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Listen, first of all.

SPEAKER_06 14:08

She says, showing up with your money, how you show up. No boo.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

$4,700 to participate in somebody else's wedding.

SPEAKER_06 14:14

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Is a lot. Um, you should already know your friends uh aroundabout. Right. What their financial contribution could look like. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 14:27

So that's why I'm asking all my friends for $16,000.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Okay. Goodbye. No, for seriously, $4,700 is a lot.

SPEAKER_06 14:35

That's a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

That's a lot of money to contribute to. Yeah, it's not even my wedding. It's not even my wedding. So I I get that.

SPEAKER_06 14:43

How about I get the dress and show up to the wedding? And y'all do everything else. Yeah. So seriously, for what you need me to do.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

My thing is, my thing is, is you you came to her as your best friend and you told her the $4,700 is not going to be feasible for me to do. Okay. But I can do my dress. I'll contribute best as I can. I'll show up for you on your wedding day. If she's your best friend, her response to you shouldn't have been um basically like Xing you out or making you feel bad through her silence, right? Her response should have been just like, okay, you know what? I completely understand. And I understand that everybody's financials are don't look the same, but you know, do what you can. But I would love it if you can be there for like the major stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. For the the matching pajamas and the whole F Airbnb and obviously getting your dress and stuff. Like you're my best friend. You've been there for me since day one. I can get behind that. But if you can just make a valid effort to be there for like the bigger portions of the journey of getting me to the aisle, that I can I can be okay with that. So if you can't do the 47, I get that. But you trying to make her feel bad because she can't come up with $4,700 on a whim, or you coming from the approach of like, you're my best friend, um, I'm not worth $4,700, or you can't figure out a way to come up with $4,700. It's the guilt, it's the guilt trick. Yeah, and it's about you don't have time to manage other people's uh what'd she say? She don't have time to manage other people's financially. Girl, I'm not asking you to manage me.

SPEAKER_06 16:14

And you don't have to manage me, I'm out. Right. I will see you that day.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

That's it. And then apparently we don't have to talk anymore after this.

SPEAKER_06 16:21

I will love you from afar. I wish you all the blessing.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

The next panic attack you have, make sure you call the other people who obviously had $5,000 on demand to spend to participate in your wedding. Okay. See, that's the whole thing. That's what I'm gonna be understanding. Like with weddings and stuff like that. First of all, this is something that y'all want to do, right? And the whole purpose of having people there is to witness the love and celebrate with you. I didn't it's it's not a concert. I don't want to have to pay to come watch you say your nuptials like that.

SPEAKER_06 16:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

You're not Chris Brown, you're not Usher.

SPEAKER_06 16:55

I don't, I'm not paying to see theirs either. I mean I I know you would. You and Desiree.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yeah, I think it's crazy. His middle name is Maurice. Um, but yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not, no, no, I don't think you're being an asshole. And I think you're well within your um your feelings of feeling like she basically slapped you in your face. Right.

SPEAKER_06 17:22

Is this how you feel?

Should She Keep Funding Her Older Boyfriend?

SPEAKER_06 17:23

Because I normally wait till you finish reading and I just go off. How do you like it being over there? It's fine. Is it nice? Yeah. Okay. You want to read the rest of them or no?

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Go ahead, knock yourself out. You know what?

SPEAKER_06 17:35

I ain't got my glasses on.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Oh gosh. Don't don't make excuses.

SPEAKER_06 17:39

Lord Jesus. Don't make excuses for your this one says, Am I the asshole for not wanting to help my boyfriend financially? And the answer is no.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

How are you gonna say? And the answer is no. Remember, remember last time you uh spoke up beforehand. And then when you but then when I read it, you were like, Oh, wait.

SPEAKER_06 17:59

But I also have told you guys that the rules are different for men. No. Okay. She says, I, 28 female, my boyfriend, 45-year-old male, and now I'm gonna double down on the name. I knew I didn't have been together.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

You read how old they were, you were gonna be like, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_06 18:14

Have been together for two years. We both work at the same place and recently split from the company. I have my own small businesses. I'm sorry, I have my own small business, and my boyfriend is trying to start up his own. The first year is typically the hardest, but it's been especially hard for him. So far, I've given him $20,000 to help pay his bills. His family's first mistake, his car, get his car out of tow, buy his supplies, etc. He promised to pay me back when there's work, but it hasn't been successful. And I'm starting to grow resentful. I'm starting to grow resentful and worried that I will never see my hard-earned money again. And you won't. Am I the asshole for declining to help him? Uh I was his hour of need.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

In his hour of need.

SPEAKER_06 18:55

In his hour of need. Or considering leaving him in this situation. No, you're not. What should I do? You're not the asshole.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

You're not the asshole. I mean, you're already in the hole. You're already in the hole. 20 grand 20 grand. And you're gonna continue to be in the hole until you're in the whole pit.

SPEAKER_06 19:09

Okay, what got me was it says his family bills.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Okay, right. Okay. Because he probably got kids or something. Are you the side piece? Why are you paying his family bills? I'm not, I'm not finna. No. Does his wife not work? I'm not doing it. Does his wife not work? By developing, that's crazy. Does his wife not work? She did not say he was married. That's crazy. I mean, he she says his family bills. Yeah, that's crazy. No, you're not the asshole, and I would stop at the 20,000 because that 20 is gonna turn into 40 and so on and so forth. So as long as you guys are quote unquote in a relationship, it's gonna keep going. I would just cut my losses now. First of all, you're not gonna get that 20, the 20 bands back, right? Regardless. Uh that ain't gonna happen. And then once you break up with them, because that's that's where it's headed anyway, you're definitely not gonna get it back.

SPEAKER_06 20:02

So baby girl, he's using you. Touch your ties. He's using you. But he used you. He's using you. He used you. And this in this life you have givers and takers.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Then he found one who was a great giver, and unfortunately, you found one that was a great taker.

SPEAKER_06 20:16

Takers will take as long as the givers give. So you're gonna have to close your hand.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Sorry, close it tight like this.

SPEAKER_06 20:22

Let go and let God.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Yeah, do you know be be like an adductor machine?

SPEAKER_06 20:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Close it. Close it.

SPEAKER_06 20:30

I'm not I'm not interested in the machine. I'm interested in what's in the same close it when you and that.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

We call we call it the coochie waft.

SPEAKER_06 20:37

The coochie what?

SPEAKER_01 20:38

The coochie waft. Okay. Because that's what me and my friends call it. The adductor machine. We call it the coochie waft because when you start, your legs are open, right? And then you close them. And then when you close them, it creates like that air, and not all women have good, like sit-down air. So you close it and we be like, oh, girl, that's not a great coochie waffle.

SPEAKER_06 21:05

Okay.

Sister Lies About Working Late

SPEAKER_06 21:07

All right.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

These are the things we do in the gym.

SPEAKER_06 21:10

Oh my god, this one is uh long. Pause.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_06 21:15

Look at you. Nasty. Yes, nasty. It says, Am I the jerk for refusing to pick up my niece anymore after finding out my sister was lying about working late? Probably not. For the past four months, I have been picking up my sister's seven-year-old daughter from school two to three times a week. My sister kept saying her manager was scheduling uh late mandatory shifts and she had no one else who could pick her up. I work from home, so she assumed it would be easier for me. It wasn't always easy, but I love my niece and didn't want her stuck without a ride. Picking her up usually meant ending work early, driving about 25 minutes to school, bringing her back to my apartment, feeding her dinner, keeping her until my sister arrived around 8 or 9 p.m. I had to cancel plans a few times and move meetings. But my sister always acted extremely grateful and she said she hated needing so much help. Last Thursday, she texted me at noon saying someone had called out and she urgently needed me again. I had plans that evening, but I had to rearrange them because she made it sound like refusing could put her I'm sorry, because she made it sound like refusing could put her in trouble at work. Around six, my niece asked if we could go get ice cream. So we stopped at a shopping center near my apartment. That's where I saw my sister sitting outside a restaurant with three friends drinking cocktails and laughing.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Hello.

SPEAKER_06 22:32

She looked shocked when she noticed us. At first she claimed her shift ended early, but when her friends uh casually said they should stop, uh, should be blah blah blah blah. This is terrible. She looked shocked when she noticed us. At first, she claimed her shift had ended early, but one of her friends casually said that they had been shopping together since around two. My sister then admitted that she actually used me for uh for pickup several times when she wasn't actually working because it was her only chance she got to have a life. She said being a single mom is exhausting and that I wouldn't understand. I told her I would no longer be her regular pickup person and that if she needed to rearrange her after school scare or speak to our parents, I'd still help during my God, I'd still help during a real emergency. But I am not rearranging my work and personal life based on stories I can't trust. She got angry and said I was punishing my niece for her mistakes. No ma'am. She also told our family that I suddenly abandoned her after promising to help. My mom thinks I should keep doing pickups, but set clear rules because my niece loves spending time with me and has nothing to do with the lie. I love her too, but I feel like continuing would teach her my I'm sorry, I feel like continue to teach my sister that she can manipulate me as long as my niece is involved. Am I the jerk for cutting off the regular pickups without giving my sister another chance? No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Nope, absolutely not. No, nope, no ma'am. Because just like how you and here's the thing, from the mother's perspective, I know her way of thinking is her way of thinking was probably if I ask her to watch her so that I could have some time to myself, she's probably gonna be less likely to do so. But that's just a risk you would have to take. That's a risk you would have to take. Um, because just like what happened, she found out that you had been lying just so that you can skim a little couple of hours off the top for yourself. You know, like I see it both ways. Yeah. I understand mama. I do. Because if she was already gonna pick you up after school anyway, yeah, like she was gonna know. I understand where the mom is coming from too, because it's hard for her to probably get time to herself, and it's just easier on a day where her daughter's already gonna be picked up by her sister. So I could just, you know, tell her the time is gonna be a little longer, take those couple hours for myself. I get that.

SPEAKER_06 24:59

Fool me once, shame on me.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

But because your sister found out, and then now she's you know putting boundaries up on when she's choosing to help you.

SPEAKER_06 25:06

Okay. Here's my take. That was nice, that was cute.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 25:10

Um, the fact that she sat up there and had lunch so that she had no respect or concern for you in my eyes. Your schedule. Because if she was really appreciative and she knew that you were ending your job early to do her this favor, yeah, she's taking advantage of you. Yeah, and I agree with you, you're not a jerk. I would I would cut her off. She can call me every name in the book.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Yeah, I don't. That's why I said you're not the asshole. I agreed with you, you're not the asshole.

SPEAKER_06 25:34

Look here.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

I'm just saying I understand mom's perspective too.

SPEAKER_06 25:37

Let your mama know that you can see your niece on the weekends.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

But like she said, you you might need to get our parents involved. What are the parents doing? Are they not retired?

SPEAKER_06 25:45

Well, you know, these grandparents ain't grandparents no more. You know, these grandparents ain't in the club.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Okay. Shut up. These grandparents stay in the club.

SPEAKER_06 25:54

And also, it's not your fault that your sister is a single mom. I'm gonna just put that out there.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Yeah, like, but you, but you've done your part to help, to help as much as you can, but now you've seen that you've been taken advantage of and you're like, no more. So no, you're not the asshole. So it is what it is, it is what it is. It's gonna be what it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 26:15

It is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Let me I can try.

SPEAKER_06 26:18

Oh, okay. All right, well, forgive me, huh?

SPEAKER_01 26:20

If if it becomes too much, then I got you.

SPEAKER_06 26:23

I got you.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Damn, why are you snatching out my hand like that?

SPEAKER_06 26:26

You don't feel good. I'm filling in. All right, this one says,

Friend Wants the Spare Room

SPEAKER_06 26:32

Am I the asshole for not offering my spare bedroom to my friend who is getting kicked out and becoming homeless?

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Probably not.

SPEAKER_06 26:41

If he's a man, no. Hello.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Oh my gosh. If he's a man, no. Goodness gracious. Because my poor son wouldn't stand a chance.

SPEAKER_06 26:56

It says, I 30 uh 31 female brought a house in 2017 and have made it my sanctuary. It's a tiny Australian cottage style home, and trust me, it's tiny. I have property and oh and over time have purchased cute hobby farm animals which fill up my day. Me and my husband live together happily and like our space in the country.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Oh, sounds sweet. Now to the T. No, okay. Now to the T. I love it.

SPEAKER_06 27:27

I do not I do like to organize an occasionally morning tea at my little farmhouse. Friends and family love it out here, away from the chaos. My friend, 26-year-old female, let's call her Courtney, is always invited to these events. Over the last eight months, she's completely ghosted me. I text her every now and then to see how she was. Very little response, just chit-chat.

SPEAKER_05 27:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 27:53

I reach out to see how she was, and she uh and if she wanted to catch up. We organized the day. I got everything ready on my deck with chairs, tables, and some morning snacks. Ten minutes passed, no show. 30 minutes passed, still, no show. Okay. No message, no text, just silence. Just rude. I text, called with no answer. Two days last, she messaged me saying she asked her boyfriend to text me saying she couldn't make it. I did feel up I did feel upset, and I was worried something bad happened. She then texted me asking if her new boyfriend and two large dogs could move into my spare room. Absolutely not. All their other friends have children. And they have been kicked out of their sister's house. I messaged her saying that's horrible news and asked her why she was getting kicked out. She said her sister is heavily pregnant and they have put too much stress on their relationship.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

So you want to do the same to mine?

SPEAKER_06 28:54

So she wants to come to do the same to my relationship. She said she said that she will even come sleep in a sag and in a swag as they have nowhere else to go. Well, I do feel bad for them, and especially uh how expensive rentals are. It's almost impossible to find something cheap. I work full-time and I cherish coming home to my little slice of.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

And you're not finna come in here with the books.

SPEAKER_06 29:22

I didn't respond to her message since she had blocked me on all platforms and blocked my number. I do feel bad. However, I do not feel responsible to offer my spare room. So am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_01 29:33

No, you're not the asshole. First of all, I've tried to be a good friend and keep in touch with you, check in on you, um, build a rapport with you, uh, cultivate our friendship, hang out with you. I've done all the things. You want to ignore me, you don't return my phone calls, you don't return my texts, you say you're gonna show up for an event that I schedule, you don't show up. But then when I finally hear from you, your response is not only do you not take accountability for not getting back to me on why you didn't show up to the little event, your excuse is that you told your boyfriend to text me from your phone to say that I couldn't make it, and then in the same breath, turn around and ask me if you and your new boyfriend and two dogs can come stay in my spare bedroom. Girl, absolutely not. I'm I'm I feel really terrible for the situation that you're in. I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray for you. I do have some extra gift cards that I had left over from Christmas. You can have those, but you can't come here. Yeah, you can't come here. You think you finna bring all that over here to my little slice of heaven and have me and my husband going head to head and him asking me when y'all finna l. Girl, no, girl.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Girl, no. Girl, no.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

I was gonna say no.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Girl, no. You know how I am. Girl.

SPEAKER_06 30:53

You know how I like my piece.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Girl. Girl, no.

SPEAKER_06 30:58

What's that? What what what that what they what my mamas always tell their daughters don't don't, I don't care how close you are, don't let another woman in your house.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Girl.

SPEAKER_06 31:07

I you know, no.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

I'm going to pray for you. If you want to come over for one of my little uh tea party things, papa. You can stop by. We can do a prayer. And then, you know.

SPEAKER_06 31:18

I'll take you can stop by take a shower, you just can't stay here.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Yeah, no. That's not your and your dogs, girl. No.

SPEAKER_06 31:24

Why? Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

No. So you bringing you, him, and to animals? First of all, I don't know him, and I don't know your two dogs.

SPEAKER_06 31:33

And she did say it's a small.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

So it's a no. And that's a new boyfriend.

SPEAKER_06 31:36

And she did say she said it's very small. Very, very small. She says, I have a small house, but I have land.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_06 31:43

Very small.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

No, ma'am. That's gonna be a hard note. Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 31:47

I hope I ain't a small small.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

What was her name?

SPEAKER_06 31:49

Uh Courtney. Yeah, sorry, Courtney. Sorry, Courtney.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

Love you, girl. Love you. See you on the other side.

SPEAKER_06 31:55

Here we go. Last one. See if I can get through this.

Are Her Husband’s Expectations Too High?

SPEAKER_06 31:58

My wife is my wife is making me uh making me prove my reading level.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Oh my gosh. Okay, this one says your reading sounds when you're reading your head.

SPEAKER_06 32:08

No, it doesn't. It's way too much.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yeah, that. Yeah, I can see that.

SPEAKER_06 32:11

Because I know I never remember. It says, our husband's expectations too high. Probably not.

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Wow. Probably not. You're just not held up to him, but probably not.

SPEAKER_06 32:25

So she says, I'm a stay-at-home mom to a three-year-old and a 10-month-old, and I feel like I'm drowning. My partner does provide for me and the kids, but has mentioned more than once that he would prefer me to homeschool the children, and also he wants me to work out. He also wants me to be eating healthy and also wants me to keep the house orderly. I get why he's saying all those things, but are they ideal? But I feel like I try and I just can't do it. He probably wonders what I do at home all day when the reality is I clean the house until the point of exhaustion, or I homeschool and take the kids out to the point of exhaustion, or cook healthy meals, or work out. He works away from home and only comes home twice a month for a day. Damn. And when he's here, all you're doing is check it in. And when he's here, I prioritized spending time with him. I make sure the house is tidy. I also don't live close to any family or friends, and I am essentially by myself. Yeah. I'm taking antidepressants for several reasons, but even on them, I don't feel like I can do anything. I need to or meet all the expectations. I feel like I'm slacking everywhere and suck at everything. I'm not giving my kids enough attention. I'm not giving the housework enough attention. We're not eating three square meals a day. I'm not working out. I'm not sure if I need a new system or if it's just me. Advice.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Ask him for a housekeeper. Bye-bye. If all because all you're doing is when he comes home twice a month. Twice a month. All he's doing is checking in.

SPEAKER_06 34:02

Here's the gear.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Literally, he's like a boss. This is this is what this is this is those types of people where it's like you have a woman for the sake of having a woman to have offspring. Yeah. Because the only way for you to have offspring is to have a woman, right? And then of course you want to make her your wife because society is like that's what you're supposed to do. But you're basically like he basically is treating you like, like, like a servant. Like, I want kids, you're gonna give them to me. And then in return, you're literally going to do everything. And then I'm only gonna see you twice a month. But when I see you that twice a month, I want a very fairy tale like situation. I want my house to be perfect, my kids to be well taken care of. I want you to look like you never had them. I want the house to look like no one lives in it, and I want you to be happy about it. Because I don't understand if you don't have to work, because that's what that's the mentality I think a lot of men who like provide financially. I'm just gonna say provide financially because providing we've talked about this includes a lot of other things. But men who provide financially have this ideal that when you eliminate a woman having to go out to like per like get a paycheck, that all of a sudden, like her life is a life of leisure. And it might be if she ain't got no kids. That could that could be, right? And it could be if there was a great management system. It could that all these things could be, but nine times out of ten, she's at home with two toddlers. She's already taken antidepressants, so she said for other for even for other reasons. So she's already dealing with things mentally before adding on kids, housework, trying to stay in shape, keeping, you know, and then trying to because it basically seems like he's giving her a list to check off of. Okay, let's we can homeschool the kids. Let's get a tutor out here once or twice a week. You I I can keep the house clean. Let me at least get a housekeeper one or two times a week. Go to the gym, sure. Let me get a daycare so that they can go to daycare for a couple of hours so that I can go to the gym and take that time for myself. All of it can all of it is possible. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 36:16

You done?

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:18

Okay. Fuck him. Okay. Um let's let this is what you should do.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 36:26

You, since he's giving you a list of all the things he wants, give him a list. You give him a list of all the things you need to make that happen.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_06 36:35

And if he can't validate your list, you ain't gotta validate his list. Problem solved. Yeah. Is that fair? Yeah. So you want me to do X, Y, and Z. In order for me to do X, Y, and Z, I'm gonna need you to do A, B, and C. And if you can't do A, B, and Z, I can't do X, Y, and Z.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

I can do X, Y, and Z. This is exactly how much X, Y, and Z is going to cost. But you give him, but you give him more. Yes. Let me let me let me lay this out. Okay. So, and the thing is, is like, yes, the thing that I keep getting back to is you only come home twice a month.

SPEAKER_05 37:07

Right. Why?

SPEAKER_01 37:08

What choppy that? What you, yeah. I'm gonna assume that you're making really great money if you're coming home twice a month. Typically, people who have to work like that typically have a decent income.

SPEAKER_06 37:18

I feel like he's either a truck driver or he in the military. Like he's high up there, like he's doing special op shit.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Either way, I feel like he can make it work.

SPEAKER_06 37:27

He got it.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Either way, I feel like he can make it work.

SPEAKER_06 37:30

And the fact that she's alone.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

But the fact that you're not concerned with your wife's mental health, because I'm sure he knows that his wife takes antidepressants.

SPEAKER_06 37:37

And let me just say this as a provider to a stay-at-home uh wife and mother, I have said many, many times, I do not want to change jobs.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Just in the three days that I've been sick. This shit is for the mom.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

My nigga, you gotta clean it every day.

SPEAKER_06 37:57

I said, look here.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

That's how it works.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

I said, put if it can go in the dishwasher, put it in the dishwasher. Why am I putting shit in the dishwasher? I said, look here.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Not everything can go in there.

SPEAKER_06 38:09

Not but I understand that. I'm cooking and cleaning at the same time.

SPEAKER_05 38:14

So when I'm done cooking dinner, there's nothing else but what you ate off of. Put that shit in the dip water.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

But it's amazing. You come back downstairs, there's a popcorn bag on the counter. I'm looking at a game of Uno on the kitchen counter right now. Right. A game of Uno in the kitchen on the counter.

SPEAKER_06 38:30

It's like, it's exactly what the beautiful And I don't even have two kids. It's exactly what it's exactly what the beautiful Michelle Obama said. Kids will drain the life out of you. They do everything in their power to come in between your relationship. And if you let them, you shouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

What did that guy say? He said, What's the number one threat to marriage? He said, to be honest, kids. Children. But here's the thing. But think about how happy we were. Bye. I'm happy now. I don't think it out. I think when it comes to kids, of course, kids change everything. And I and I'm not one of those people who are like, oh, you know, everything goes downhill after you have children, because children are a blessing. Like my life has increased tenfold since having a child. Namel, don't I'm starting to get hot again and my nose is starting to run. Don't piss me off. Don't piss me off. You find a new way to piss me off. You're finding a new way to piss me off. Okay, cool. But um, but I will say that's when the partnership really comes into play. Okay. That's when we really gotta sit down and be like, okay, how we gonna do this? How we gonna manage this? Because it's so easy to fall into the traps of shit like this, you know. Like he has an idea, he has an idea and a perspective of how life at home should be because she don't work. And then she has an idea of what like life could be if she was in a better mental headspace. You know what I'm saying? And it's not like, and I and I bet you it's one of those things too, because you get on social media, right? And you see those um mom content creators, the ones who have like eight and nine kids, and they get up in the morning in their big, beautiful houses, and it's like, get ready with me as a you know, a mom with a family of 10, and she gets up and she puts on her cute little outfit and she does her hair, and then she goes in and she gently wakes up all eight kids and she makes breakfast and she's got lunches all late. And it it looks like like, oh, why can't I do that?

SPEAKER_06 40:32

You know what I'm saying? That sounds great. But she said her kids are three and ten months.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

Okay, but that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 40:38

That 10-month-old just started moving, he ain't sending his ass down nowhere, and that two-year-old definitely ain't sitting his ass down nowhere now.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

But that's what I'm saying. She's probably also looking at things like that online, where you see women who are like pretending like it's it's not that hard to stay stay in shape, be attractive, take care of the kids. Like, if your time management skills and your mental capacity is top-notch and you can do all that, girlfriend. I am not hating.

SPEAKER_06 41:04

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

But not every woman clearly is like that.

SPEAKER_06 41:07

It it clearly sounds like you could have read all of them stories.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

I offered to start.

SPEAKER_06 41:11

No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

But my my throat was getting scratched.

SPEAKER_06 41:14

Okay, yeah. We're gonna go ahead and go into the comment of the week.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

All right, let's hop on into the comment of the week. The comment of the week. Yeah, because my nose is starting to run.

SPEAKER_06 41:20

Okay, the comment of the week only got two comments. Only got two comments. So the last the last week's story, all of them were serious. So I didn't want to joke.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

All of them were serious?

SPEAKER_06 41:29

They were sure. They

Comment of the Week

SPEAKER_06 41:31

were her, there was some serious shit going on.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

They were sure.

SPEAKER_06 41:34

The first comment comes from the posts about choosing myself.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Oh, about whole shit. She chose her to date her best friends, assault her.

SPEAKER_06 41:47

Yes. And um, I think I think she knew everybody's gonna come for her. Because the way y'all told her ass up in them comments, and I mean it wasn't just on Instagram. Yeah, y'all tore her ass up in them comments everywhere. I said, Lord, I said she might not follow us after this.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

Bye, babe.

SPEAKER_06 42:02

Ah, I said shit.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Well, she didn't know she just wanted to hear shit. She just wanted to hear the opinion.

SPEAKER_06 42:09

They would turn her ass up. Okay, but this first comment comes from Nat Fierce115. And she says, desperation will have people begging for crumbs, even from those they know they shouldn't even entertain. Shaking my head. And I said, you know what? That sums it up. That's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_05 42:28

That's I said that's a word.

SPEAKER_06 42:32

That's a word.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Preach, past a word.

SPEAKER_06 42:36

Preach. That's a word. Yeah. I said, because it it really was a sad situation.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Yeah, it really was.

SPEAKER_06 42:41

It really was. And the next comment uh comes from the post about um how her boyfriend didn't want her talking about her deceased child. That piece of shit.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Ever. He said he didn't want her mentioning her deceased children around him ever because it makes him uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_06 42:57

And um this comes from uh, I want to say, it was a uh Kenya artistic.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

Kenya, artistically.

SPEAKER_06 43:05

Kenya artistically, yeah. She said, if he can't hold space for your grief, he shouldn't hold space in your life. And I said they that's another word. I said they preaching today. That's another word.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

They preaching. Let the congregation say amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_06 43:21

Now pull out your purse and give me all your money.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Okay. Bye. Pull out your purse and give me all your money. If we could just get everybody to donate a dollar. Right.

If We Knew Then: Friendship in Marriage

SPEAKER_06 43:33

And lastly, people were gonna end the day off with if we knew then. Oh gosh. My favorite news segment, my wife don't like it, but it is what it is. So the question this week is if we knew then how important friendship and marriage would be, what would we have invested more in? Huh? If we knew how important friendship would be, what would what would we have invested more in? In like how we have cultivated our friendship more. I mean I need an answer for Pastor.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

I don't know. I would say maybe spending more time together.

SPEAKER_06 44:11

We spend every day there.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 44:13

The answer is nothing because we did it perfect.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 44:17

Gosh. We were we, I mean, we were together all the time.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Yeah, we were.

SPEAKER_06 44:22

The only thing that kept us apart was work and school. That is true. And that wasn't when we that was the least amount of time we spent together because we had opposite schedules. Yeah, we did. And then I dropped out and I was always there. Every time you come on, I was like, boom, I'll think.

SPEAKER_01 44:37

I was like, oh, hey babe. Hey.

SPEAKER_06 44:40

You all get me and jumpers looking at you like, oh, how are you at?

SPEAKER_01 44:43

That's how that's how I'd be now. Like when you be at home and I'm used to having my little six hour space. She at school, you at work. And then you being here, I'd be like, I just be sitting there, like, hey. Hold on.

SPEAKER_06 44:55

I saw this video. I think I sent it to you. She said, she said, she was like, y'all, tell me why I'm just like a golden retriever. She said, I'll be so excited for my man to come home. She said, as a stay-at-home wife, I'll be excited to come home. Now I know he's gonna piss me off 15 minutes at this point.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

As soon as you get home, because that's not me.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

Like, I be excited for my space. Like, legit, I'm excited for my space. I'm like, okay, what am I gonna get done today? What stories I'm gonna go to today? And then I'll be like, okay, my babe finna come home. And then you come home about 20, 25 minutes later, I'll be like, yeah, just go to bed. Cause you you done found a new way to piss me off. Wait a minute, no, I saw one and it said, it said, um, Perry Menopause got me uh thinking like when her husband walked in the room, she was like, Perry menopause got me wondering if he's gonna stay when he walks in the room or if he just gonna leave. She just waiting. She's like, please leave, please leave. Y'all be going. Are you just passing through or are you are you planning on staying?

SPEAKER_06 45:51

Y'all be going through. Take me through there. Take me.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Are you planning on staying or are you gonna are you gonna leave? All right, guys. This has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. Thank you for rocking with us today. I'm sorry. If you stay to the end of the episode, you are a real one, a real boosky.

Closing: Tell a Friend to Tell Granny

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Always because I know, you know, you probably didn't want to listen to my stuffiness and my coughing and my my right nostril that's clogged up and all my chest congestion. Um, if you're if you were right here in the room, you could probably feel like, you know, my little claminess. But if you stay to the evening, I won't go to that, but that lips wouldn't. I appreciate you. You're gonna beat my ass if I cut this off. No, you're gonna go get me a damn smoothie. Um, I appreciate you all. We thank you so much. Um, you guys out to all the new followers. Yes, again, everybody. The growth is amazing. We appreciate y'all. Thank you for all the time. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_06 46:52

Wait a minute. And once again, Phoenix wants y'all to know that she loves the booskies.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

Oh, yes. But she Phoenix says hi. She said, tell all the wooskies I said hi.

SPEAKER_06 47:00

She wants to be on episode again, so bad.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

We're gonna have her on episode because she wants to be.

SPEAKER_06 47:04

We not.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Um but yes, so um, the usual spill, if you're not doing so already. You can follow us at Life After I Do Podcast on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. You can write into the podcast at LifeAfterI Do Podcast at gmail.com. I almost had a brain fart, forgot there. Um, you can also follow us on uh Patreon at Life After I Do Podcast. New episodes every single Wednesday. And next week I will be back better than ever and not stuffy and coughing in the world.

SPEAKER_06 47:37

And watch I'll be sick next week.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

No, he won't be. We're knocking on wood in the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_06 47:41

Even if I'm sick, I'm showing up to show out.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_06 47:44

Because I show up to show out.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

Okay. But yeah, we appreciate it.

SPEAKER_06 47:48

And wherever that ass is at, that's where I'm at. And until next time.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Don't forget to tell grandma.

SPEAKER_06 47:53

Oh, to tell a friend.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

To tell a friend.

SPEAKER_06 47:54

To tell granny.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

To tell granny.

SPEAKER_06 47:56

Because if granny knows, then everybody else knows. Everybody know.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Peace, Booskies! Peace, Booskies.