Our 2 Cents Vol. 38: Friends, Affairs, and Consequences

Our 2 Cents Vol. 38 brings a full lineup of Booski stories about boundaries, friendships, family entitlement, social media expectations, cheating, and the complicated space between support and disrespect. Nesha G and Moelethal respond to situations where people are trying to figure out what is fair, what is messy, and what needs to be addressed before resentment takes over.

In this episode, we discuss a mother-in-law treating a summer apartment like it belongs to her, a picky boyfriend refusing frozen food and leftovers, and a woman wondering if her boyfriend should have posted her for her 30th birthday. Nesha and Moe also react to a godmother acting strangely about seeing pictures on a phone, a friend using an inside joke to torment a cheating woman, and a follow-up from the woman involved with her abusive ex-husband’s best friend.

The episode also asks whether opposite-sex friendships can work in marriage. Through every story, the answer keeps coming back to boundaries, communication, respect, and whether everyone involved understands the role they are supposed to play.

Transcript

Cold Open: Raccoon Ankle Dinner

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I'ma clean them the best I can. I'ma make us a fire. I'ma skin it down really good so she got as little hair in there as possible. I'ma find some herbs and I'm gonna season it the best I can. And I'm gonna feed my baby for the night. And we're gonna be up in there jacking some ankles up.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

You like licking the bones.

Welcome Back to Life After I Do

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Life After I Do Podcast. How y'all doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

I'm muffin.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

I'm muff and tired.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Look here, y'all. Uh these August episodes are gonna be a we're gonna we gonna we gonna try.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Bye. I don't want to, grandpa. I'm tired. Two damn man. No, August is just a busy month. That's what it is. Oh, every year. Yeah, every year.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

First of all, there's always a lot going on in August. August starts off great. It's the greatest Chihuahua's birthday of all time. Okay. Rest in peace. Rest in peace to JP.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Rest in peace to JPRT.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

And then here comes your sister. She wants to be included.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Um,

August Is Expensive

SPEAKER_01 1:23

and then it's just with the birthdays and the events and all the parties. The school boy bags. You know, my wife's a professional power lifter. Oh my gosh. Please stop.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

I gotta deal with this. Please, please stop.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

So now she got competitions and it's a lot going on. I'm tired. Muffin tired. I think I told you other days I said when I was just when I was just counting how much money I had to spend in August, I said, I'm gonna have to work for the next 20 years. Okay, but y'all are being so dramatic. Y'all's expensive.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

You was being so dramatic. Hey, Buski. Hi. How you feel? You know what? I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

No, she's not little no more.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

I have been on an emotional roller coaster. She's not little no more. But I am also my mama's heart is so full. And like, it's like her, my baby turned nine. Okay. Okay. How mean? She turned nine.

Phoenix Turns Nine

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Almost my double digits mom.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

She's almost her double digits.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Dad, I'm a young lady now.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Yeah, she's like, next year I'll be my double digits. We're like, yes, Phoenix, we understand. Um, but yeah, so little Minnie Booski turned nine this past weekend. And she said, according to her, she had the best birthday.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

She said it every year.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Um, but I feel like I when she says it, you can like sometimes it meets her eye and sometimes like it doesn't. You know what I mean? But she had a really great birthday this year. She got to spend her birthday with her bestie, um,

Birthday Skincare and Sephora Trips

SPEAKER_03 2:59

who she's on the phone with right now. And they just did their whole little skincare routine like on FaceTime. And it was the, oh my gosh, the cutest thing. The cutest thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

I didn't I know, but I was sitting there and I was recording. I was like, look how adorable they are. They had their uh their headbands on. So first, Mimi, her best friend, she had a blue one on, and then Phoenix put her pink one on, and she was like, Fifi, I have a pink one too. Should I put it on? And then she was like, Yes, and she was like, Okay, I'm gonna get it. Give me a second. And they were just like so excited. And so then they got um, so for her birthday, she also wanted to go to Sephora. So her her and her best friend went to Sephora.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Okay, y'all pray for me.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

You know, they just thought they were just first of all, they thought they was gonna get the whole store. I had to reel that in real quick. I said, We're gonna, we're gonna backtrack, okay? So they ended up getting like their little skincare and stuff and some samples. And so they're upstairs right now, and uh, they got like their face wash and stuff, and she's like, Okay, what do we do with it? And I was like, You wash your face. I said, Okay, so I walked them through it and I was like, you gotta wash, like, you know, get your face wet, make sure it's warm. Then helped them open, helped her open the uh face cleanser. She washed her face really good. They put like their little serums on, they put their moisturizer on, and then they put their lip balms on. Oh, it's like you guys are too, too cute. And they were doing it together, like at the same time, she had her iPad set up, and her and her friend are talking back and forth, and then she was asking her, she was like, So how was yesterday? And she was like, Yesterday was amazing. And she was like, I know I had so much fun with you. I had so much fun with you too. And I was just sitting there and I was like, my mama's heart is so full right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

I was really happy for them. Yeah, I was really I was also really happy when it was over because my wallet was hurting.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

Okay, bye. Goodbye. I said, Lord, just enjoy the day.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

I said, Lord, if you bless me with another child, please don't let it be another girl. I can't afford it.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

How you know you won't get a uh a boy who has expensive habits?

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I could tell him no. I can't tell him that's wild. I can't tell my little princess no.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

That's wild.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Even now, like with my nephews, I'll be like, no. My nieces, I'll be like, I'm gonna see what he can do.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

I'll see what he can do. I'll see what I can do.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

It's a lot easier to tell them boys no.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

That's so wrong. That's messed up.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

So I'm like, oh, uh, Uncle Reese, kind of Nah, not this time.

unknown 5:18

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Not this time.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

My kids like, Uncle. But then his sister comes right behind him and be like, Uncle Reese, you know, well, you know, uh, me and my friends were going and Okay, I'll see what I can do. Have a good time, everybody. You know, you got to go. Bye. That's scandalous. You don't treat boys like that. It's a different role for being.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Okay, goodbye.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

I'm preparing him for future rejection. Okay. The only person that's gonna accept on all the time is his mama, which he does.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Okay, that's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Because she told me about it.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Um, but yeah, so she had a really great birthday. Um, I was just so happy to see her so happy. And she was so surprised because she didn't know that she was gonna be spending her birthday with her best friend, and her best friend also didn't know that she was gonna get a chance to spend the day with Phoenix. And so when they saw each other, she was like, maybe Phoebe. And I was like, oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

And they rented up.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

They did. They were talking about what they should eat for dinner. They were like, should we go to a steakhouse? Yeah, don't you want some steak? And me and Maurice are looking at each other like, you finna get some McDonald's.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

You finna get a happy meal.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Well, no, because you know Phoenix don't eat McDonald's.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Oh, because it makes her stomach hurt.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Yes. Well, sushi don't. Her cousin, no, it does not. When her cousin was down, her little baby cousin was like, uh, she was like, Fifi, you want to go to McDonald's? And Phoenix was like, I do not eat McDonald's anymore.

Moe Realizes His Baby Is Growing Up

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Why do you want it's gonna make your stomach hurt? I do not eat McDonald's anymore. But we can go to Chick-fil-A.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

So, how was your week outside of that?

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Um, it was good.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

That's good. That's good. Mine was rough.

SPEAKER_03 6:53

Why was it rough? Here you go. Finna be negative Nancy. It was rough. Negative Nathan.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

That's what I'm gonna call you because I woke up one day and I just looked at my daughter and I said, She ain't little no more. Where's my little girl at? I like it. Where's my baby at?

SPEAKER_03 7:05

She's still a baby.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

That's why today I picked her up and say, I say fee for you nine, but to me, you still nine months. I held and I held her. I was walking through her, she's like, Oh, this is a life. I said, see, you should stay nine months. Then we have to go through this. Nine month fee was expensive, but not this expensive. Because nine months fee can ask for stuff. She just said she didn't have a lot of taste. Okay. This this fee got taste. She she lives high on the horse. She got experience.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

She got by. She knows a little bit about the world or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

She knows what she likes and she don't like. I don't like that one. Let me get that one.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Or, Dad, here's the idea. Me and you could just like go sit down and just not tell mommy.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

I said, you, I said, the way you be trying to play me and your mother against each other is just so you get what you want. I said that the key is that you get what you want and don't nothing else matter.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

I said what you don't understand is that daddy and I are united front.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Not all the time. No, not all the time. Because sometimes you don't be in simply bended.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Sometimes you be in the wrong and we just have to like, we just, you know, we gotta. I'll be in the wrong because I tell y'all y'all don't need $20 i bowls. Sometimes you be in the wrong. And we just don't. And they're not 20. They're 1785.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Okay, but then y'all get extras.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

They're 1785.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

So my my week was just, it was just a lot of sadness because my baby growing up. And then I realized I I had to mourn another different kind of loss. My my wife has um officially, she fell back into it, y'all. She

Nesha Is Back on Acai Bowls

SPEAKER_01 8:37

she's back on the drugs, she's back on the acos. Oh my gosh. She gets, you know, one or two a day.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

And Maurice, I'm in, I'm gonna sit here and slap you. I do not get no one or two a day. I'm gonna slap you. She goes.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Well, you know, I'm well I'm splitting it with your daughter, so it's not really.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Okay, Damail, first of all. What? First of all, I get her her own and I get my own. There's no splitting. There's no splitting? There's no splitting. So you're back on the horse. No. You were doing so good. I never got off the horse.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

You're doing so good.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

No, I never got off the horse.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

You hey, you had just got your three-month chip. I opened my bank account and I said, Oh, so we were officially donors of Simply Wedding again. I guess we we back at it. I said, and then not your not your daughter. And then you're this is how I know it's bad. Because the other day when I picked her up, you were doing something, I had to go pick her up, and she was like, Dad. You know, normally mommy would go take me to like a Saebo. And I was like, Well, you're not with your mama. And we got food at the house. You can have some of them strawberries and them blueberries at the house. I said, Y'all do it too.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

I was recording her when she was eating it because the way she was eating it, she was like, like digging in there, and I started recording her. I was like, is it good? And then she, you know, she had the spoon and she tapped it, and she was like, This, this is good. She was like, This is this is good, mommy.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Oh, sorry, sure. Y'all pray for me because I got I can't afford them.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

I took her to get one um the day before her birthday after she got out of practice. And uh, oh before, no, after school was before practice. And um, she was looking in her backpack because normally I pack her snacks after school, so that's like her bag is already packed. And she was looking for her snacks after school, before practice, and she was like, You done packed me any snacks. And I was like, Oh, no, I didn't. She was like, Mom, you know I need snack. I need energy before I go to practice. And I was like, I know. I was like, maybe if you just sit tight, like you'll get your snack. And she was like, Okay. And so we pulled up at Simply Blended, and she was like, Can I get an acai ball? I was like, of course. What do you think we're here for? And she was like, Yes. I was like, girl, you think I would bring you over here and not get you an assayable? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Every time I see y'all on a civil, I'll be like that, that, um, I'll be like that real mouse with the gun.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Shaking, crying like this.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Like, why are y'all keep doing this to me?

Our 2 Cents Begins

SPEAKER_03 11:10

It's so terrible. We offer to bring you one.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

What we got today? What we got today?

SPEAKER_03 11:17

We offer to bring you one. What do we got today? We got an hour two cents episode today. We got it. We do. We got um a few submissions. So the booskies. And an update. So the the Booskies need the Booskies want to hear from the other Booskies.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Right. So I was like, Well, sometimes they ask to hear from the Booskies, though, and then they get in them comments, don't like what they say in the boosters.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

They don't like what they hear. Um, so yeah, we have a follow-up and then we have some more submissions from Booskies to get advice from us and other Booskies.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Well, let's get into it, Laura P.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Um okay. So let's go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Well, what Jesus waited three days. I got about three minutes.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Okay, goodbye. Um, let's see where we are.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Let's let's start off a little eerzy. A little what? A little eerzy. Oh, like you was with the iPod shuffle.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Bye to mail. Um,

Mother-in-Law Takes Over the Summer House

SPEAKER_03 12:13

okay, let's see. Here we go. Am I the asshole while my mother-in-law stays at our summer house?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

No, because you got no.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Here's the situation. My partner's been renting a small apartment at the shore and has previously allowed friends and family to stay over the past few years before we got together. Um, people have liked to use it as a hub since the area is fun and he didn't mind people doing that while he wasn't there. That has expected, that has stopped, except for his mother, who has gone down weekends during the summer and slowly began extending her stays into the weekends and weeks last year. Uh, we would also go down on weekends and share space. Not really fun since she is known for being a hot mess with partying and smoking. Not mama. Um, but it was a small amount of time, and honestly, it's not my apartment. This year, my partner and I had a baby together. When he was a month old, we were able to take a quick escape to the apartment for a change of scenery with our little one. And his mom decided to go down and stay the entire time we were there. Not to help out, but to use it as her apartment also for the week. She's become extremely entitled with all of this and acts like it's hers, though she doesn't contribute to it at all. Even though she has strict rules to not drink while we're there, I expressed my disappointment to my partner not having alone time and then the frustrations. As she constantly was telling me what to do with our baby, changing pots and pans in the midnight, prepping snacks and meals, and overall was just doing a lot and me handling a lot while I was also postpartum trying to just figure it all out. He apologized, not realizing how much it would be on us, and said the next time we went down for an extended stay, it would just be us. Fast forward to now, he took vacation and we're about to go down for 10 days, and I found out that she'll be there for seven. I was visibly disappointed when I found out and told my partner that I'm always on edge while she's around, and her being there frankly takes away from it being us as a family and bonding. She's already down there too when asked about babysitting one night so we could go to a spot with the live music. And she said no because she wanted to go. She also wanted to go. So it's not like having her there or anything. Um, it's not like having her there is anything other than her wanting to have what she wants. I recognize it's not my apartment, so I don't have the authority, and I actually feel bad that I have to bring up how uncomfortable this all is. It's his mom. Now he's pissed and doesn't want to go because it won't be fun knowing that I'm gonna be feeling uncomfortable. I hate how it's putting a strain on our relationship, especially during an already hard transition time with a baby. And while I'm upset that it wasn't communicated for her to not be there, I am also ticked that she doesn't think to give us even a little bit of alone time. Am I the asshole for being honest and sharing how I feel? Because now it seems like it's more, much more worse.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

No, you're not an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

You're not an asshole. And I think his mom is doing that on purpose.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

She absolutely is.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

She don't like you. Oh she is. She don't like you, and she's absolutely doing that on purpose, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

But the mama's not the issue.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Yeah, because he should be able to say something to his mama. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Okay, well, keep it at me. Okay, keep it one. He needs to say, hey, mama, these are the boundaries. Uh-huh. These are the dates that we're gonna be there if you can no longer be here.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

Yeah, we're gonna be down there these dates. You don't need to be there.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

I don't know. I don't know. I would waste my time on no stupid shit like that. Yeah, I agree. I don't know. Maybe I'm just different. Because I'll tell my mama you gotta leave in a heartbeat. Look here, I know I love you. Look, I love you and all that. I love you. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I'm trying to get in that. I'm trying to be in it. Oh, I can't. I'm talking about in it.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Oh, okay. Okay. You're you're doing you're doing a lot, sir. I'm doing enough. Okay. Um, let's see. Would I be an asshole if I told my boyfriend he needs to buy and cook his own

Boyfriend Refuses Frozen Food and Leftovers

SPEAKER_03 16:31

food?

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Uh yeah, no, your boyfriend, no. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

My boyfriend has been staying with me for the last month or so to see if we would be able to live together. It's going great, except one thing. Food.

SPEAKER_04 16:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

He's picky AF.

SPEAKER_04 16:48

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

I've been trying to eat, I've been trying to eat the way he does, but I can't keep doing it. I live an hour away from the closest store, so I've been freezing. I write. So I've been freezing food when I find it on deals. I also have been canning food and learning to garden, so I always have food in the house. That's smart.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Um, one reason I've started to do this is so I don't have to go to the store every week during the winter, as it gets hard to get out of the community that I live in due to snow.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Oh Lord. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

This is to eat food that has already been frozen. He refuses to eat leftovers. He doesn't eat fruit and he doesn't eat vegetables. He only wants food that comes from the store, like daily. Should I ask him to pay and make his own food? I know it seems silly as there is only two of us, but this is getting ridiculous. I have a freezer full of food that I can't use and he won't touch it.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Okay. Is that it? Yeah. Girl, fuck him. Look here. I'm gonna say this loud, as loudly and as clearly as uh as you can as I can. What you allow today, you must continue to allow for the duration of the relationship. Cut this shit off now.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Yeah, stop it now, because he's gonna keep he's gonna keep it up. I what you want you don't eat leftovers and you don't eat food that's been frozen. Okay, then you're not gonna eat tonight.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Well, it sounds like you need to go down to the market to get yourself something.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

It sounds like you should go buy the food.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Look here, let me tell you, look, it's a funny story, y'all. My uncle, my grandfather told me the story. My uncle came home from prison and told my grandfather he was Muslim.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Oh, I remember this story.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

And he didn't eat pork. Uh my grandfather didn't proceed to cook pork for 40 days straight. And lo and hold, when I met my uncle when I was born, he ate pork. So, um, girl, I'm freeze that food.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

Saw your food out, put it in the oven.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And when he when his ass get hungry enough, he will eat it.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Yeah, and if he and if he doesn't, then he knows how to get to, I'm assuming he knows how to get to the store. And he's he should be of age. He should know. Well, it and she said deuce it snow, so they probably eat the stuff. Are you a hun carable? No, they probably live somewhere like back east or something. Hun carable and life. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I gotta stop watching life below zero.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Yeah, because every place, every place doesn't look like that. Ice fishing? No, I've never been ice fishing. I actually don't have a desire to go ice fishing, so there's that. Okay. Yeah, don't worry about it. I don't have the desire to do that. Um, let's see. This one is from a Booskies. Hey, Booski. And it says, uh, please send advice.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

I got it.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Okay, here we go. It

Boyfriend Didn’t Post Her for Her Birthday

SPEAKER_03 19:45

says, hello. I'm writing in because I value your opinion and need advice. Thanks, Booskies.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

You sure?

SPEAKER_03 19:51

My boyfriend didn't post me on my 30th birthday. I recently just turned 30 in July. So I'm a 30-year-old female dating my boyfriend who's 31 for 10 months. We both have no children and ride horses. Even though we haven't been dating for a long time, we both talk about marriage and kids and hopefully would be engaged by the end of the year. Why wait? Girl, I agree. He isn't really big on posting on social media, but he makes uh TikTok videos of himself, uh, trail rides and riding horses. For his 31st birthday in March, I went all out: gifts, lunch, dinner, vacation, and social media posts. Simply because I love him and wanted to. For my 30th birthday, I planned a private trail ride at my house that he helped tremendously. As the day came to an end, I noticed he didn't make not one post about me on my birthday or on any of his platforms. Not one. I brought it up to him at the end of the night and he said he was just really busy all day and didn't have time. He then offered to write something real quick, but I told him no, because it wouldn't mean the same. And I feel like he's ashamed of me or trying to somewhat hide me. He said neither of that was true and that he was just honestly busy. It's been five days since my birthday, and it still bothers me. If he makes another TikTok, um, or yeah, if he makes another TikTok with him and them horses, I'm a flip. Am I overthinking? Is it really a big deal? He has no pictures of me on his page. And since then, I took down all the pictures of him on my page. We're not a secret couple. We go out in public anytime. It's just not, it's just I'm not as present on his page like I would like to be. Should I let it go or say something again? Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

I'll let it go. You would? Yeah. Tell me why.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

Tell me why.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

He hasn't, he's never done it. He's never done what? He's never posted her on the page, right? And she said that he's not really active like that. He only posts.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

No, she said she said that he posts TikTok videos.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

His horses and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Him and his horses, which is why she said if she if he posts another tip of him and of him and his horses, yes. So he knows how to use social media, he knows how to make posts with him and his horses.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Okay, let me okay, let me ask you this. What does him posting you on social media gain you? If he's already validating you and giving you what you need, what does him posting you because I don't post you every day.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

You don't post me every day, but you post on you No, but you you post when it's birthday, you post when it's anniversary, you do. You make it okay, but that's what she's saying. You make it for her. You make it a point. You make it a point to do it. I'm gonna tell her to say let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

You've already accepted the behavior. Don't try to change it now.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Okay, then let me ask you this. Why do you go out of your way? Because that takes time for you to pick up your phone, for you to press that little button. If you've made like a reel, that took time for you to edit a video. Why go through all that and post it on social media if you've already told me happy birthday and you've already showered me that day and you've already taken me out? Why do you feel the need to post it on social media? What do I feel a need? Yeah. Why do you feel the need to feel the need?

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Okay, but you do it. I do it for you. Hey, for me. I think my last five posts have been about you.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

I didn't even post it. But that's but that's what I'm saying. But what what makes you do that? You posted when we had a date night, right? Why do that? We no, you didn't do that for me. Because I didn't ask you to do that.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

No, you did. No. You want me to show you all?

SPEAKER_03 23:33

Maurice. Stop the cat. Maurice, I don't, I really, I don't believe in violence. But sometimes sometimes I do when it comes to you. Don't see you live. You wouldn't believe it. Anywho, this is this is what I would say. You've already brought it to his attention, right? Um, I'm I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that, you know, if he was able to pick up on what you were putting down, that maybe now he knows for future, that that's something that you would appreciate. That you would appreciate uh a social media shout-out, that you would appreciate, you know, him making a post about you to his followers, like, this is my girl, and she had a great birthday. This is my boo. Like now look how beautiful my boo is, and she was stunning on her birthday, and like shouts out and happy birthday to my boo. So now he knows going forward is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Okay, that I understand. And she also said that that he went to make a late night post and she told him not to post it. But he did it after, right? Okay, like in the same breath. But again, my my what my thinking is if this is not something he normally does, I understand what you're saying. I normally post you on your birthday. So I I I I post our daughter on her birthday, I post my uh uh friends on their birthday. So I normally say something, at least a very at the very least, a story. Yeah, I normally do that. This is not a normal behavior for him.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Okay, but that's what I'm saying. Now that she's brought it to his attention.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Okay, so if he don't post you next year, then we have a problem.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

Oh, well, not even next year. What are we in? August, what's coming up next? Christmas and Valentine's Day?

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Christmas and Christian, she's saying that.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Christmas, yeah, but now that he knows that he should, he should be able to pick up what she's putting down. So I would say, like you've already done, you've expressed, you know, expressed it to him and you've asked him why. But I think you also just need to let him know, like, if that is something that you do appreciate, just let him know. Just let him know. Just be like, dang, like you, you know, I would appreciate the shout out. I would appreciate like whatever. On the same, on the same token, the say on this on the same token, I would also say just because it's something you're willing to do, or just because it's something that you're used to doing, you also can't just expect that of somebody else. Okay now, right? So you know how you are. You like to take pictures, you like to, you know, put your posts on social media and things like that. But like you were saying, if that's not something he's used to, or that's not normally what he posts, because you said he normally posts him and his horses, it it's not that he wasn't thinking, it's just not, it wasn't at a forefront, it wasn't at the forefront of his thought process, right? Or not only that, let's get to the or not only that, most people like to live in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Well, but but here's my thing. Why are we seeking uh if he's giving you validation, why are we seeking additional validation? But it's not about the you keep using the word validation, it has nothing to do with validation, but he post this you if he posts you online, how does that benefit your relationship? What direct effect does that have to your relationship?

SPEAKER_03 26:33

It's the air in the world.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

So if I cut it up now, if I post your picture and I got 5,000 likes, do you love me more?

unknown 26:38

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Bullshit. Stop the stop the listening.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

But but the world, but the okay, okay, put it this way. Put it this way. Put it this way. If you have, let's say, let's say, for instance, and this might be like taking it too far, I don't know, but just for the sake of it, too far. Go ahead. Just for the sake of us having the discussion, um, if you never spoke about me, if you never posted me, if you didn't um wear anything that signified that you were in a relationship with me, like bring whatever, we're married, so that's different. So I'm saying if we're dating, because they are they're dating, they're dating, right? Okay. If you didn't, if you didn't speak about me, you didn't post about me, you didn't any of those things, right? How would anybody know that you're in a relationship if you never talk to them about it or say anything or post about me or mention me or they wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

But that's not a good thing. Oh, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What did you say?

SPEAKER_01 27:33

They wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

They wouldn't know. Okay, so maybe that's not to say the model. No, you gotta put that. It could be a it could be a little bit of everything. No, it's not no.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

It could be a little bit of everything. Because the people in their lives, she said it. Okay. The people in their lives know they're together and know and know they're happy. Their friends know they're together. They know their item. She said that.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

She said that they are not a seat, they're not a secret couple.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

They're not they're not a secret.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

They're not a secret.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

It's just not well known across social media.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

The fantasy land where other people and across the world might know who you'll never see in your life.

SPEAKER_03 28:09

And maybe I want them to mandate because maybe I want those people to also know and recognize that you're my man. That's why. Then you post him. That's why. Problem solved. That's why. Post him. So, anyway, in a nutshell, I would say, okay, yes, we can we can probably let this instance slide, but now that he may be aware that you would appreciate, not that you require, but you would appreciate a little, you know, that's my boo shout out. Going forward, let's see how he, let's see, let's see if he picks up what you put down.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

That's what I said. I wouldn't force him for this, but if down you say, hey, I will this is what I want you to do. This is I I want you to do this for me, then going forward. Yeah. So next year's birthday, he should make a post.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Next year he should make a post. He should. I agree. Um, okay, here we go. Am I the asshole? We don't know. Probably. Let's see. Am I the asshole for not letting my twin's godmother see

Godmother Gets Weird About Phone Pictures

SPEAKER_03 29:07

pictures on my cell phone? Okay. Let's see. Let's get into this. Um, my godmother came to a family gathering where we were celebrating my recent marriage. Congratulations. We were planning to have a ceremony, but my husband was unable to visit. We live in a different country. The backstory is she'd been in the video calls with us for months and received some pictures of us so she knew what my husband looked like. I looked over her excited facial expressions and how she always asked where my sweetie was every time she called. I filed it under she's looking for more conversation since she was going through her sixth or seventh divorce.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Well, goddamn. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

I also noticed the increase in telephone calls. We normally talked once a month or once every other month. It increased to once or twice a week. She also made a point to tell me, out of all the years I've known you, I've never known you to be married. At the party, my nephew's wife asked to see a picture of uh her new uncle. When I pulled up a picture of him on my phone, the godmother rushed to stand behind her to take a look. When I took my phone back, the godmother said, I want to see the pictures on your phone. And I felt some kind of way violated, I think. I told her, I'm gonna take pictures of my son in the next room. I got up and I did that. A few hours later, I was walking into my bedroom to go to bed and she asked to see pictures again. I was bewildered and told her, I'm going to bed. I thought the inquiry was over, but the next day while I was talking to her and my son, when I was taking her and my son to urgent care, she said, I'm having a wonderful time. Your family is great, the food is great, the party was great. But what would make the event even better and perfect is if you let me see those pictures on your phone. Okay. That's a little much. I took a breath and I told her the reason why my niece saw a picture of him was because she had never seen him before. Um had she never asked, I would have never shown her. As long as you've known me, you know that I'm a very private person. I will not let you see pictures in my phone. I didn't say it in a harsh manner, just frankly. She acted like I slapped her and said a few uh words after that. The next day I flew black back to my husband. I treated her the same as if nothing happened. For two months, she barely responded to any of my texts or calls. I thought she was busy or sick. In February, she video called to say that she was sick and was in the hospital in January. My husband and I both said hi to her excited face, but I talked to her. We were picking up something when she called, so I told her I would call her back. When we did, she didn't answer the call. And after that, she didn't answer my calls or texts for months. I didn't know what happened to her. In April, she sent a text message to my aunt, whom she said just met at a party in December. She talked about visiting a church near where my aunt lives and then asked her how I was doing. My aunt told her, Why don't you know how she's doing? You should know. My aunt didn't know we hadn't spoken. I called and texted her after that, but she never responded. In June, she texted my aunt again saying the same thing. My aunt blocked her. That's when I said, That's it. I blocked her on everything we used to communicate on. Not once since February has she tried to contact us. She has my daughter's number, Facebook, email information, as well as my business and home phone number, email address, Instagram, and Facebook. In August, she reached out to my son and told him, I can't reach her. Her phone is broke. She continues to reach out to my family and friends, though whatever means she can. My son told her that I should contact, show told me that I should contact her, but I refused because of the lie. After 18 months, she called my 18-year-old nine times at 1 a.m. and kept hanging up. She gets new numbers to send me messages because I blocked them. She never tells me she wants to talk, nor does she apologize. She just sends religious quotes or pictures. She's acting like I started ignoring her for no reason instead of apologizing. Am I the asshole for not allowing the now ex-grandma from seeing the pictures on my phone?

SPEAKER_01 33:17

I'm confused. I'm so confused too. Was it grandmother or godmother?

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Godmother, sorry. Godmother. Um, no, it's your phone. Ex-godmother.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Oh, it's your phone. Oh, this shit is confusing. I don't. I don't get it. I don't see the issue.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

She got upset because she wouldn't let her see a picture of her husband.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Move on.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

It's her it's her ex-godmother.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Okay, again, move on. No. God has a way of taking people out your life that you don't need to be around. Girl, no.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

Girl, no.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

That's all I got to say.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

Girl, no. Okay, here we go. Wait, you never respond to that? I don't really have a response. I mean, I guess the response would be that no, you're not the asshole because it's your phone. And if she wants to take up uh an issue with that, then I mean that's her issue.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

I do have a question.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

Oh gosh. Now he comes back. I do have a question.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Now I wonder if she recognized your husband and she just had She never saw him. No, she had saw him on video chat and stuff, and she was trying to make sure she was trying to make sure it was who she thought it was before she said something to you. Maybe maybe she was trying to give you a warning and you and you took it the wrong way.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

Well, too late now. She's gonna have to figure it out the hard way. Yeah, I guess so.

Caught With a Burger

SPEAKER_01 34:33

I mean, it's okay. God bless you.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

Okay. Here we go. Caught with a burger. Wait, what? I don't, I don't, it's it's caught with the burger. Was it from Arby's? That's the title. Okay. I don't know if it's an I'm an asshole or anything, but this is from a booski. All right. And she labeled it caught with a burger. All right. Um, a longtime friend of mine, let's call her Betty, started talking to a man online despite being married. All right. Betty. All right. At that time, Betty's two children were still young children, not yet teenagers. Betty had cheated on several boyfriends in the past, but she had promised herself to never cheat once she got married. I advised her to stop talking to the guy because it could lead to something serious. That's good advice. She insisted that they were only friends and would stay that way. However, one day she announced that they were gonna meet in person. I warned her that that was a sure sign of an affair in the making. Okay. Well, you can imagine what transpired next. They embarked on an affair. Okay. Betty would inform her husband that she was visiting me. Coincidentally, he worked at the same high-tech company I did in uh Silicon Valley. I was furious. Occasionally, she would even plead with me to tell her husband that she was with me if he happened to inquire. Despite the fact that we didn't have a genuine friendship with her husband at the time, I firmly refused to lie or do so. Eventually, her husband discovered the truth. She claimed that she had ended the relationship, but when he found a used condom in the minivan, she fabricated a whole story about a long-ago affair, a different guy than the high-tech guy, though it was another high-tech guy. Oh, so she lied and said, like, that was the old one that I told you about. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah, can you all clean your car?

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Um, more than her infidelity, her husband couldn't bear the fact that everyone around them, including their husbands, knew about it. He felt embarrassed. He felt like a fool. So she told him that I was the only one who knew, throwing me under the bus.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

I wait a minute. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

Um, but she claimed I told him you were mad at me for having that affair and totally against it. All her friends and their husbands knew about the affair. Her husband was furious with me, and when I spoke with him, I didn't reveal that everyone else knew too. I didn't want to betray my friend or make him feel more embarrassed than he already did. A year or two later, an old friend of mine named Mel, who knows Betty but is not friends with her, found himself in a small town working on a business trip. After lunch, he called me and mentioned seeing Betty at a restaurant with a dark-haired man who wasn't her husband and they weren't acting like a couple of buddies. This incident triggered an evil thought in my mind, and I decided to send Betty a text message. I asked her something like, Enjoy your burger. I knew this would completely freak her out because she had convinced her husband that the affair was over. She had also stopped talking to me about it because I had been so angry with her and told her to stop having the affair. So she couldn't figure out how on earth I knew about their lunch in that obscure place. She proceeded to text message me every few minutes, perhaps 50 or 60 in total, urgently asking me what I knew and how I knew it. I never responded to any of her text messages, choosing instead to let her stew in her panic. When I eventually spoke to her and revealed how I knew, I couldn't help but find it amusing. She didn't think it was amusing. And to this day, despite the affair being over, after them having an affair for over a decade, she freaks out if I ever bring that incident up or if I tell her that Mel asked me. Remember that time I saw Betty and that burger joint and makes me promise to never bring it up or tell Mel to never bring it up, despite him not having any contact with her or her or her yes. They are still married. A sexless marriage of convenience and affordability. Her husband, but I like to dangle it out there every once in a while. Am I an asshole for getting such amusement and satisfaction by causing her such distress and panic over the situation? Yes or no. Thanks, anonymous. Yes and no.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Yes or no. Look here. I get it. Because as King Patty, I would do shit like that too. I'd have to say some every now and again.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Girl, that burger was worth it, huh?

SPEAKER_03 39:22

Have you had a burger recently? That's a shake.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

That's okay now. Uh so I'm gonna say yes or no. Because uh eventually, you know, at some point, you know, being petty don't serve you. No, it doesn't. You know, sometimes that and you know she's doing it just for a quick glass. The tables can turn. Yeah, so the tables can't turn, so be prepared. Just know that you can receive that same level of pettiness coming right back at your ass.

SPEAKER_03 39:52

And you you won't you won't expect it. You won't expect it.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Yeah, so uh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

Um I I would say yes, you're being petty. Okay. Um because you're doing it for your own amusement. So you're being amused at somebody else's expense. Even though you, in your opinion, and most people's opinion, it was self-inflicted. Uh-huh. Because apparently Betty can't keep it in her pants.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Oh, well, I mean, in her panties. They don't hang out. Well, I don't know. It might.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

We don't know. She just said we'll call them Betty. We'll call her Betty. Okay. We don't know. We don't know. Maybe that's why, maybe that's why Betty be all around town. Cause, you know, you don't know. Anyways, but yeah, I do, I I think you're you're look you're low-key, high-key being the asshole because you're getting amusement out of somebody else's like despair. Like, that's not that's not true. I mean, I and I know you said y'all wasn't close, but y'all still friends.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

I also understand why they're together because sometimes it's cheaper to keep her, but and if it, but I'm I mean, you if you got proof of the infidelity. Maybe he's doing this shit too.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

I mean, maybe that's the maybe that's an unspoken agreement that they have. Because first of all, how you know they got a sexless marriage? Did Betty tell you that?

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Maybe her husband did. Now he needs a shoulder. Oh my gosh. Or somewhere to park his car.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Okay, I can't. Not doing this. What you mean? Not do, not doing this. You're not doing what? Not doing it.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

I'm gonna say yes or no. I like I I love the petty. You know me. I love the page. I know, but but sometimes it ain't worth it.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

You know, somebody fell short, and you don't have to exploit that.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

It's easy to be petty when you like, you know, once or twice, once or twice remove, and you're not really thinking. Once or twice removed, and you're not really gonna see him, but when you're gonna see them every day, that yeah, that's yeah, that's annoying. Yeah, that's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

All right, guys, let's move right on.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

We're the update. We gotta update it.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

Oh, yeah, we do have an update. I completely forgot.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

We have an update to the affair with the ex-husband's best friend. Um I think she read y'all comments and she wants to tell you all some more stuff.

Update: Affair With the Ex-Husband’s Best Friend

SPEAKER_03 42:01

Okay, so she said this is the update Affair with Abusive X, part two. Um, I'm continuing my relationship with my ex-husband's best friend. And the question is whether we're wrong for continuing the affair. My ex-husband was terribly abusive to me, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and sexually. His best friend knows what happened because he was around during the time overseas. And I believe that's part of why he's such a strong uh dislike for my ex-husband. He was also abandoned with two children, so we're both single parents who understand what it's like to go through difficult situations. To be clear, I don't know his current girlfriend and have deliberately chosen not to. I don't know her name, what she looks like, where she works, or where she lives. And I've never even seen a picture of her. I'm not interested in competing with her or trying to win anything. As far as I'm concerned, this is about a very dear friend whose relationship with me has grown and developed over the years. I also don't want to intentionally disrespect her because, for all I know, she doesn't even know about me. This relationship isn't just physical. We've known each other uh for about 20 years and we have always been, he's always been there for me. He helps me with things I need, shows up for important moments, helps with things like driving lessons, graduation photos, and does countless other things for me. None of it is transactional. Um, we genuinely care about and support each other, and every once in a while we also have sex. I understand that he is wrong for cheating on his girlfriend, and I sometimes wonder if I'm contributing to his moral downfall by continuing to participate. You are. However, I don't feel that I personally owe his girlfriend loyalty because I don't know her. I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone, and I'm certainly not married to anyone. I also have no loyalty to my abusive ex husband after everything he put me through. People who have judged me for the situation honestly make me laugh a little. I just can't imagine throwing away a 20-year friendship with someone who has constantly shown up for me, helped me, and been there when I needed him because of a mystery woman I've never met, especially when uh the ex-husband involved is someone who tried to take my life. To me, this is much more complicated than simply labeling it as an affair. It's a longstanding friendship, mutual support, and relationship that has evolved over time. My birthday is next week, and Elle will obviously be there to support, per usual. Male platonic friends say that the situation is grim uh grimy because the men in the situation, but I don't think so. Am I an asshole?

SPEAKER_01 44:45

Yes. Okay, wait, let me talk. Let me talk. Let me tell you, okay, a couple things. Um let me address this to the people. The Broco, when I when I mention Broco, that ain't got nothing to do with her. Broco is the ex.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

On the guy's part.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

On the guy's part. That's just the guy's relationship. It ain't got nothing to do with her. Right. Secondly, um, you are contributing to the abuse and disrespect of another woman by sleeping with her man, and he don't know. You mean she don't. And she don't know. But she and you don't care that she don't know as long as you get what you want. You're being selfish and purposely impacting her life in some kind of way, but it don't it don't matter to you because you don't know her directly. It don't matter to you because you don't know her personally, right? And because it hasn't come back to affect your life.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

Right.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

Now, if she's crazy and she learns about you and she pull up, you might feel differently then.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Uh no, not if she can hold her own.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

I mean, but but but now L but now L bring a problem.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Oh, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

So it's and so you're so and you are contributing to it because you you are willingly cheating, or you are willingly, you are willingly sleeping with a man that you know has a lady who's cheating on with no fault. Yeah, with no, with no a part of you is broken, man. And you need therapy. Because what you're saying is that this makes me feel good, so I'm gonna continue doing this regardless of what the impact it has on anybody else. Because L can be all those great things. He can be a loving uh godfather, he can be, he can support you, he can be there for your kids, all that without you sleeping with him. That's where you cross the line. Yes, that's all I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 46:27

So I would say, um But you can't blame Tammy. I would say that first of all, I I have a question. Why aren't you and L just together?

SPEAKER_01 46:38

Well, I a lot of people had that question.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

That's what I don't understand. Like if Apparently she ain't that great and you ain't got another girl. No, and no, I it I mean, I understand that there's a lot of history. I understand that there's a lot of history, and I I also understand the background with your ex-husband. And let me just first of all say that I'm sorry that you had to experience that because no one should have to experience that in a relationship. Um but I don't think that that necessarily plays a part in the relationship that's going on between you and Elle, because I get that he was a supporting person in your life when you were going through that. And I can also understand why he doesn't like the ex-husband either, because of what the ex-husband put you through. That I completely understand. I can understand that he was a godfather to your children. I can understand that he is a really great, dependable friend, and that it seems like he is a staple and pillar within your life. I get all of that. He sounds like he would be an amazing man. The only hiccup, the hiccup that comes, like the hiccup that comes is that you know that he's in a relationship. He knows that he's in a relationship, and he's such a good man, friend, and figure to you and your family. But he's also willing to hurt somebody in that way. Because the thing that I think about it is he's so great. I don't understand why you guys just haven't taken it to the next level.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Maybe he just feels sorry for you. No, he doesn't.

SPEAKER_03 48:09

He doesn't because he he he cares about her.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

But what I'm saying is you have to care about somebody to feel sorry for him.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Okay, but what I'm saying is, is if you guys are all of these things to each other, why not just be together, cancel out all outside noise and see where this could see where this could go? Like, why don't you guys just have a serious conversation and be like, you know what? Let's just try it. Let's see where it goes. Because right now we're basically friends with benefits. Because, like you said, you guys have sex occasionally. So that lets me know that it's not something that's just like a regular occurrence. It's just like, you know, maybe he came over uh to help you with something and like you're like, let me cook dinner. He stayed a little late. And since he's staying a little late, we're gonna do what adults do, and then he's gonna go and go back home to his girlfriend. Okay. No one, no one has a problem with y'all like being friends, being together, anything like that. The problem comes in is that he is in a relationship. That's the and he's in a relationship. That's what it comes down to. He's in a relationship. And for me personally, you can slice it however you like, right? You can you can make him out to be the best person.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

He can be superman.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

He can, he can. But yes, people can make mistakes. Like if he slept with you and that was a mistake, and it's like, but I have a woman and I really genuinely appreciate her and I love her or whatever, this can't happen again. But he's on board with this happening whenever y'all both are down, he ain't that great to me.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

He checked every box with the single, but single. And that's the problem.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

Yeah, that's I can't, I can't get I can't get behind the whole fact now.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

If his girlfriend was okay with it, that's a different story.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

That's different.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

Now, if y'all, if y'all hear it, if y'all got understanding, that's different. Then I'll take it back to everything I said. Yeah. But if they ain't got understanding, and from what you how you write it, it seems like they don't have understanding. No.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

And and and it feels like you want everybody to understand that your point of view. Excuse me. No, that your um relationship goes deeper than you guys occasionally sleeping together. And that may be true. That may be true. We don't, we don't know like your everyday life. And I believe you when you say like it goes deeper than the few times a year that we have sex. All it all of that is perfectly fine. Literally, the only hiccup, literally the only hiccup, is that he is in a relationship. If you would have even left out that he had a girlfriend, I don't even think like it wouldn't have been a problem. Like most people would just be like, okay, like he just so happens to be a friend of your ex. It is what it is, but you both are two consenting adults. Yeah. You know, like, yeah, he may have broken bro code, but okay, like that's fine. But then you introduce another unwilling party in the situation, and that's what everyone keeps getting hung up on. Okay. It's the unwilling party, it's the person who's in a thruble and don't even know it.

SPEAKER_01 51:12

Okay. I'ma I'm gonna say this. I'm I'm I'm gonna say this. It it don't matter how many times you do something, it matters how many times you you get when you get caught, the consequences are the same.

SPEAKER_04 51:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

So the the the what I mean is you can you can rob a bank, you can rob 10 banks in a year, and maybe you only get caught in the last one. And you still gonna serve time for all them, all of them banks. Yeah. So when she finds out, when the other girl finds out. Hopefully, she just dumps him. Hopefully.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

And then that's best case scenario. She just dumps him, and that's fine.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

But if he as great as you say he is, and he she wanna fight for him, you may have more problems with it.

SPEAKER_03 51:47

And then and then I think about this, okay. You don't know her, and I know that you try to make that a point too. You don't know her personally. You don't know. No, I know, but what I'm saying is, is what if L decides to marry her? Are you still gonna be okay with having sex with him? No, are you still gonna be okay with having sex with him occasionally if he decides to marry her?

SPEAKER_01 52:08

Well, she can't let them 20 years go to waste.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

Bye. She's like, But that's but that's but that's what I'm saying. Like it's the it's things like that.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Babe, babe.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

You uh Babe, babe. Hold on, hold on. I get why I could, I can, I can get when people try to say, like, um, like women who sleep with married men, right? I don't have a responsibility to his wife. He has a responsibility to his wife. Okay, you know what? That may be true, but you have a responsibility to self-governance. Just because you don't know his wife directly, just because you don't know of his wife directly, you are still inserting yourself into someone else's relationship and inserting yourself into someone else's marriage. And if you don't think that that's gonna have consequences or come back to you any way or shape, like that would be the same ones I want to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Girl, we woman, we gotta stay together. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:01

I I I mean, me personally, I'll just say this me personally, and I'll leave it at that. I don't think that I would be able to get behind something like that. Yeah, you would. No, no, iPod shuffles. You wouldn't dinners, you would. Bye, Maurice. Goodbye. Goodbye. Um, I personally don't think that I would be able to get behind something like that because I wouldn't want that done to me. Like I wouldn't want another woman just to chalk it up to her not knowing me, but knowing that he's with me, you know? And like I've told you before, sometimes that's the thrill. And sometimes that's the challenge for women, right? They don't, it's like, it's like, oh yeah, you you, I know you got a good man or you think you got a good man, but guess what? I can have him too whenever I want to. That's like an ego boost, too, for women. And I don't think a lot of some women recognize that.

SPEAKER_01 53:58

What the song say he's mine?

SPEAKER_03 53:59

Yeah, you may have had him once, but I got him all the time. Don't try to draw your hand. Yeah, yeah. Like you, you over there living life on a high horse thinking like shit is gravy because he's treating you like, you know, a princess and doing all the things. But guess what? All I gotta do is call him. All I gotta do is call him, and he's about to tell you a lie just to come over here and be with me. Some women like that. Yeah, some women like that.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Until Shirley calls.

SPEAKER_03 54:26

So, you know, I mean one Shirley call. Yeah. Bye. Shirley.

SPEAKER_01 54:32

Barbara, this is Shirley. Barbara, this is Shirley. The man, you sleeping with E mine.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

I'll be like, Boo. Well, you must you might as well go ahead and give him a key to your place. Because my locks has already changed. So go ahead and give him a key to your place. Because it sounds like y'all been having a real good time.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

All right, people.

SPEAKER_03 54:54

All right, what we got next, babe?

SPEAKER_01 54:56

Uh quick two cents. This week's question. My lovely wife.

Quick Two Cents: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Marriage

SPEAKER_00 55:04

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 55:05

Uh the quest next week's question is can opposite sex friendships work in marriage?

SPEAKER_03 55:11

Can they work in marriage? Um, usually if it's like a double friendship, sure. Like we have other couple friends.

unknown 55:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:22

No, like I know her husband, and he's of the opposite sex and you know her.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

What if they're not like with the single?

SPEAKER_03 55:30

If they're single, yeah. Um they can work as long as both partners understand uh know the person and our friends.

SPEAKER_01 55:38

And there is there's history there.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

And yeah, there's history there, but like, like, James is single. Who's James? Oh, James, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

I don't think James will ever get married.

SPEAKER_03 55:46

Yeah, he might, but I mean, I think about these women. I think about like, you know, you have a um a friend of the opposite sex, but it's not like Ashley.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

But it's not like the bye. But it's not like I don't know about her. It's not like when we hang out, it's a group thing. It's not, you know, it's like you're not driving down there to go have lunch and spend the day anywhere. Bye. You guys aren't spending time together alone. It's usually a group thing. You know what I mean? So I mean, I feel like I've helped her move. Yeah, stuff like that. But but she, but I think it works too because for one, you guys have been friends for so long, right? For two, she she's amazing too. So she would never try to like make herself put herself in a situation where I would probably deem it inappropriate. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 56:44

No, she would tell you.

SPEAKER_03 56:46

Right, right. So yeah, I I'm so rat. Bye. So I think, you know, based off of just our own experience, yes, it can work, but I think if the other person, like the friend of the opposite sex, they need to have an understanding that you are married, you know? Okay, if as long as they have an understanding that you are married and there are certain boundaries that come with that, sure. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 57:12

All right. Yeah. I guess so. If you say so.

SPEAKER_03 57:17

Shout out to Dr. Joseph. I love her too, because she's my friend too.

SPEAKER_01 57:20

Not too much of my friend. Bye. You know, everything you got good in your life is pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 57:25

Um please, please don't start that because we, if we go, if we go ban for band, we're gonna losing. We're gonna quickly figure out that that is not true. We're gonna quickly figure out that that is not true.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

Oh, that's gonna be quick because I'm gonna win. Quickly. Okay. Quickly.

SPEAKER_03 57:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

Okay, people. What's next?

SPEAKER_03 57:44

I've picked him up like he's slime one too many times. You picked me up like I was what? Slime one too many times. You pick me up. I I can quite literally pick you up. Now, now I literally gave him a whole piggyback ride throughout the store.

SPEAKER_01 58:02

That was that was great. My back was hurting that day, too. See, this is why you get you a strong woman. Got me a strong woman. Independent. Oh, not no more. Damn.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

You know, wait, Clink Note, we were talking about that today. Me and the moms, we were like in a little group at the party. And so we were talking about like all the things that like the husbands be like, oh, you like you couldn't do this. Like, what would you do without me? And she was like, My husband always asked me, like, what would you do without me? And she was like, uh, live, take care of the house, take care of like, and she we were all saying, Because we don't do it doesn't mean we can't. Well, it's because we don't have to. So I was telling her, I said, my husband asked me one day, um, if like if something happened catastrophically, like, you know, in the world, how would I know to go find like water if we needed water? Remember when you asked me that and you were like, would you know how to go and find like drinking water, water for? And I was like, I told them, uh, that sounds like a like a you thing to go do. But I'm it doesn't sound like a me thing. And so then I had said, I was like, but then he was like, but if I'm not here, then I would figure it out. Like that's the thing. Like, if you weren't around to take care of it, I would get it done. I would figure it out and I would get it done. But you are around to take care of it. Do I need and that's what we were talking about? Everybody was like, right. Like that part of our brain, that part of our brain will kick in when it's necessary. If it isn't necessary, if it's not necessary.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

I've seen us in the wild.

SPEAKER_03 59:41

Okay, really? Do not see us in the wild.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

Do not kick in.

SPEAKER_03 59:48

If you were, if you were like just gone and I had to literally fend for myself and my child, do you think I will let that baby go hungry or thirsty?

SPEAKER_01 59:59

You would try not to.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:00

I would do, but the thing is, is I would figure it out. And I would get it, I would figure it out and get it done, is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

So you're gonna be out there feed my baby raccoon angles?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

Listen, if that's all we got, I'm gonna clean them the best I can. I'm gonna make us a fire, I'm gonna skin it down really good so she got as little hair in there as possible. I'm gonna find some herbs and I'm gonna season it the best I can, and I'm gonna feed my baby for the night, and we're gonna be up in there jacking some ankles up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:28

You like licking the bone. Ankle dinner. Okay, look ankle dinner.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:35

What's next? What do we got next? Uh, comments of the week. Comments of the week, people. Okay, uh, I think I got four or five of these.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:43

And what is it in reference to?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

I'll let you know when I get there. Okay, that's right. So I'm look here, y'all. First of all, she's rubbing her feet against my feet. We gotta cut this short.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

Because my toes are getting cold.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

We've got to cut this short. I know what this means.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:53

No, it means my toes are getting cold. See, this I can't even see that's that's another thing. It's like you can't even like touch them, just touch them. Ooh, why y'all like that?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:06

I was just trying to warm my toes up. I was not asking for anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

It's about to get warm.

Comment of the Week

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

All right, so the comments of the week, people. This first comic comes from uh the story that we had to update about uh the um affair with the uh uh ex-boyfriend's best friend, whatever. And this comic comes from the boyfriend's best friend.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

Yeah. Oh, the one we did the update, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

And this comment comes from husband's best friend. This comment comes from uh uh Instagram, it comes from uh Quiet underscore Q80, and she says, She ain't right, but she ain't wrong. Do you boo? Right? That's what I'm saying. Right. I mean, she ain't right, but she ain't wrong. Yeah, yeah, he's wrong. L wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

This next comment comes from the post about the one that won he wanted his money back after she said she didn't want to see him no more.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:57

Oh, and she didn't want to go on a second date, he then wanted the money from the first date from her meal.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:01

And this comment comes from Instagram as well. It comes from a southern girl in SAC.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:06

Um, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

Maybe she's in Sacramento.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

She says, just give the little boy his money and be done with it all.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:13

Just get a little boy his money. Just here. Just here. Take it and get out of my face. Bye. Just get take it and get out of my face.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:24

And this uh this next comment comes from the post about the attack. Oh went outside the chat. And people, we live in California. Our breaker is outside.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:34

Oh, yeah. Is that why you were telling me that? Like a lot of people's breakers are inside.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:37

Our breaker is all outside. Now, the newer, now you know, our homes a little older. The newer homes are in the garage. But the older, older homes, I think homes before like 95, whatever, the breakers are outside, and we you have to actually have a padlock on your breaker.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:50

Oh, I didn't. I thought I thought everybody's breaker was outside.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

Okay. And this comes from wait, what's her name?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

I don't know. Ty underscore uh Seawalk.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:02

I don't think that's it at all. Six on uh I would I wasn't okay. Six, oh this person says this person says that's not that's his boyfriend.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:11

He was trying to figure out how he found him. So he froze because he got caught. That's wild. That's wild. That's wild.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

And the next comment comes from the video on YouTube when we told when you told them the iPad story, the iPod story.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

Oh, that his um old roommate took me out for lunch and stuff and got me an iPod shuffle.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:37

Oh, you were just out there whoring. Okay. Yeah, that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:40

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:42

And then you Oh, and then I said that you went out with your friend.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:46

And I said, now who's now a doctor?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:47

Yeah, who's now a doctor.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:49

And so this person uh loves Loves Truth E5G said, did Maurice pass on being a doctor's husband and perhaps.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:55

Perhaps a cat man.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:59

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:00

Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:02

I know, I mean, I know three or four doctors.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

Who maybe I played my cards wrong?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

And then right under that, Stephanie said, nah, he's right where he needs to be.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:15

Shout out, Stephanie.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:16

Because, you know, I've been with this woman since 2002. That's all I know. I I don't I don't even know what the wild looks like. I've been in the zoo so long behind these bars.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:29

I don't, I mean, honestly, I hear the wild. And I hear it's wild.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

It's wild it's wild out there? Yeah, it's wild out there. Cause old girl Gail, shit. Man, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:40

I hear it's wild out there. So, you know. That's all I know. I don't know. Maybe, maybe I'll be interested in my 50s. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:47

I don't know. I would give up every day and just I hit her with one of these. Until you do right by me. Okay. Goodbye. You touched. Goodbye. Until you do right by me. I did it this morning, too. Goodbye. I don't know why I did it this morning. I don't know either. You guys said something I said. Oh, yeah. What did I say? You said something I said. Do you do right by me?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:07

I forgot what I said.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I don't know. You always say, you always talking out of pocket. No, I'm not. I really be needing help, people.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:13

Being honest. Me being honest. It doesn't listen. When you have an honest person and a direct person in the relationship, and then you have someone who's a little sensitive and emotional, sometimes they don't go together because. Why are you looking at me like that?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:34

You know what, y'all? She was the problem. She's talking reckless like this because y'all can't see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:39

Why are you talking reckless?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:41

Y'all can't see it, but she got these shorts on.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:43

I'm not talking reckless. I'm being serious.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:45

All I see is cheese.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:46

I'm being serious because she just no, he's he's trying to over talk me because I be, you know, I'm I I can be I can be sensitive too. I can be emotional too. I can be soft spoken sometimes. Is this the comedy hour? I can be soft spoken sometimes. Yeah, what your daughter. But when we're having, you know, like honest conversation, it's important to be able to express yourself and speak so that your point gets across.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

You make my damn elbow hurt. Just shut up.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:22

But my husband can be sensitive sometimes. And it's okay. Because that's that's I love him for that. I love having me a sensitive bear. What's wrong?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

I'm just thinking, shots off to me that said you guys are like Mr. Beast famous. No, we're not. I said, no, baby, we are not Mr. B famous.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:46

But thanks. She's adorable. She's adorable. Um, all right, guys. That's been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you're not doing so already, you already know the drill. But if you're new here, you can follow us, like us, um, share um all social media platforms at Life After I Do Podcast, Instagram, uh, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, at Life After I Do Podcast. You can write into the podcast at LifeAfter Do Podcast at gmail.com. New episodes every Wednesday. And until next time. Peace Booskies. Peace Booskies.