Episode 51: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life - Joy and Sustainability Work in Tandem

Episode 51: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life - Joy and Sustainability Work in Tandem

On this episode of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom, Africa O. continues season seven’s exploration of finding yourself inside your life with a deeply personal conversation about sustainability, joy, and what it really looks like to build a life that reflects your values.

As mothers, partners, professionals, and individuals, we often find ourselves trying to balance competing priorities while pursuing goals that matter deeply to us. But what happens when the way we pursue those goals begins to cost us our health, presence, peace, or joy?

This episode explores the difference between commitment and overextension, and why sustainable growth often requires us to redefine what success looks like in the season we are currently living.

Theme: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life (Month 1 — The Balancing Act)

Season seven centers on the journey of discovering who you are within the life you already have. Month one focuses on the balancing act: navigating identity, purpose, family, wellness, and personal goals without losing yourself in the process.

Quote

"Joy and sustainability work in tandem. They are not trade-offs." — Africa O.

Episode Summary

Africa reflects on her experience building her wellness platform while balancing motherhood, marriage, health, and freelance consulting work. She shares how she initially fell into habits that were not sustainable… overcaffeinating, sacrificing sleep, and pushing herself beyond her natural rhythms in pursuit of consistency and growth.

Eventually, she realized that the pace she was maintaining was costing her the very things she valued most.

Rather than continuing down that path, she chose a different approach: one rooted in sleep, presence, health, and realistic expectations. She began building her platform around what she could sustainably maintain rather than what she believed she "should" be able to do.

Throughout the episode, Africa discusses the dangers of comparing your journey to someone else's. Every family, season, resource level, and support system is different. What works for one person may not be sustainable for another.

She also shares how her background as a PMP-certified project manager influences her approach to life. Drawing from Agile project management principles, she explains how working in smaller, manageable increments while remaining flexible can be just as effective in personal life as it is in professional settings.

The episode closes with practical examples of how she incorporates sustainable joy into her daily life—from honoring slower mornings after difficult nights with her daughter, to using walks as a tool for processing challenges, to recognizing and maximizing periods of high energy without sacrificing long-term wellbeing.

The overarching message is simple but powerful: sustainable joy is not something we earn after achieving our goals. It is something we intentionally build into the journey itself.

Episode Highlights

• Continuing season seven's theme of finding yourself inside your life

• Exploring why joy and sustainability are partners, not competitors

• The cost of overcaffeinating, sacrificing sleep, and chasing unrealistic productivity standards

• Choosing presence, health, and rest without abandoning meaningful goals

• Why comparing your journey to someone else's rarely tells the full story

• Understanding that your version of balance must fit your actual life

• Applying Agile project management principles to motherhood and personal growth

• Working in smaller, sustainable increments rather than relying on intensity

• Honoring personal energy levels and adjusting expectations accordingly

• Using walks, reading, and wellness practices as tools for restoration and reflection

• Recognizing that flexibility is a strength, not a weakness

• Why sustainable joy creates longer-lasting results than short bursts of intensity

Key Takeaway

There is no perfect balance, but there are intentional choices.

You do not have to sacrifice your joy in order to build something meaningful. Sustainable growth happens when your goals, habits, and commitments reflect the reality of your life rather than someone else's expectations.

Stay connected to your purpose. Stay flexible. Work in manageable pieces. Choose longevity over intensity.

Because sustainable joy is the goal.

Make sure you explore more health & wellness insights and coaching opportunities at liveafricao.com. Stay connected for more episodes of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom.

Please be sure to rate and review the podcast. You are greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Transcript

A Soulful Mom's Wisdom
Episode 51 — Full Transcript

Joy and Sustainability Work in Tandem. They Are Not Trade-Offs

[INTRO]

Welcome to A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom. I’m Africa O., your host and Wellness Guide. Each episode, I open with a quote that has shaped my own life journey in a positive way and explore how that same wisdom can uplift and do the same for you.

This is a space for moms who are ready to reconnect with who they are beyond motherhood.

Pull up a chair. Pour your coffee. Let’s get into it.

[EPISODE]

Hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to another episode of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom.

I am your host, Africa O. The "O" is simply the first letter of my last name, for anyone who has ever been curious.

This podcast is really here to hold honest conversations around motherhood and, more importantly, around finding ourselves within it. Because we are more than just mothers. We are so many things.

I truly believe that when we prioritize ourselves and prioritize our joy, we find a way to show up more fully for ourselves and, as a result, for the people we love. Most of us simply want to show up fully, and I think that's a beautiful goal.

Hopefully this podcast can help with that.

As always, I am not an expert. I am a Holistic Wellness Guide sharing my own experiences and perspectives. Take what I say with a grain of salt. We are all living our own unique journeys, and that's one of the most beautiful things about life.

At the same time, I do believe there is usually something we can learn from one another. That's why community matters.

All right, let's get started.

We are currently in Season Seven, and the theme for this season is:

Finding Yourself Inside Your Life.

That is what this season is all about.

The conversations we have and the quotes I share are all centered around the core idea of what I call the balancing act—the reality that, as mothers, we're constantly trying to balance competing priorities.

This month, I really want to talk honestly about my own experience navigating identity while being a mom and building Live Africa O.

So, with that said, let's get started.

This is Episode 51.

And yes, I know I tend to turn random words and phrases into little songs. You've probably heard me do it before. I think it happens when I get excited.

I hope it doesn't catch you off guard. That's just my energy showing up.

Today's quote is one of my own, and I remember exactly where I was when I wrote it.

I was sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops, Urban Grind. Shout out to Urban Grind.

It's a Black-owned coffee shop in Atlanta, and I was sitting there minding my business, people-watching, sipping a dirty chai, and this quote came to me.

It says:

"Joy and sustainability work in tandem. They are not trade-offs."

Whew.

Joy and sustainability.

What does that actually mean?

Sometimes a quote resonates immediately, and sometimes it needs a little unpacking.

For me, this quote speaks directly to my lived experience. So let me give it some context.

I've talked in previous episodes about trying to build my wellness platform while also being a mom, being a wife, and managing all of the other responsibilities that come with life.

And honestly?

At times, it wasn't pretty.

When I first started building my wellness platform, I fell into habits that were not truly my own.

I was overcaffeinating.

I was staying up far too late.

I wasn't consistently practicing the wellness routines that normally help me feel grounded.

All of it was happening in the name of consistency and growth.

But the pace I was trying to maintain wasn't sustainable.

Eventually, I had to make a choice.

I chose sleep.

I chose presence.

I chose health.

And I chose building something that actually reflects my real life.

That last piece is important.

I am still figuring this out.

I don't want this to sound like I have everything perfectly organized because I absolutely do not.

My friends can tell you that I am constantly saying things like:

"This week I'm trying a different system."

"Let's see how this goes."

I am always experimenting.

I value my time deeply.

I value my personal time.

I value the time I spend with my family.

And I value the time I spend with the people who matter most to me.

Because I genuinely believe we only get one life.

And if that means I need to reevaluate things, adjust things, and redesign things from time to time, then that's exactly what I'll do.

That process never really ends.

To help explain this, I want to create a visual.

I'm a visual person by nature.

The roles I'm balancing include being an individual, first and foremost.

God created me before He assigned me any title.

I'm also a wife.

I'm also a mother.

And I'm also someone who pursues her passions.

When I am functioning as my truest self, I am a deeply passionate person.

The mindset shift that changed everything for me wasn't about ambition.

It was about commitment.

When I first started building my wellness platform, I was committed.

I had systems.

I had plans.

I had routines.

But they weren't sustainable.

Eventually, I had to say to myself:

"If I want to keep doing this long-term, I need a different schedule."

I needed a schedule that reflected reality.

A schedule that was actually compatible with my life.

And honestly, this applies to so many things.

Whether you're trying to start a workout routine, improve your health, lose weight, or pursue a personal goal, sustainability begins with realism.

You have to ask:

What can I truly maintain in this season?

Because commitment isn't just saying you want something.

Commitment is creating a realistic path that allows you to keep showing up consistently.

[EPISODE CONTINUED]

One of the biggest lessons I learned during this process is that comparison simply doesn't work.

There were moments in my journey when I found myself looking at other mothers and wondering how they seemed to do it all.

Maybe she works a full-time job.

Maybe she's building a business on the side.

Maybe she has multiple children.

And meanwhile, I'm over here feeling overwhelmed with one child.

It's easy to start asking yourself, "What am I missing?"

But the truth is, you cannot compare your life to someone else's.

You don't know everything that's happening behind the scenes.

You don't know what resources they have access to.

You don't know what support systems are in place.

You don't know what sacrifices they're making.

And honestly, sometimes people don't even realize how much support they have.

So instead of comparing yourself to someone else, check in with yourself.

Pay attention to what that check-in reveals.

Accept it.

Honor it.

Value it.

Because your balance has to fit your actual life.

And when I say balance, I know there is no perfect balance.

What I'm talking about is creating a way of living that allows you to show up as fully as possible for the things that matter most to you.

That approach has to be designed around your real circumstances.

Not someone else's.

I began noticing signs that my pace wasn't working for me.

I felt sluggish.

I experienced brain fog.

I wasn't getting enough sleep.

I found myself rushing through things that were supposed to help me feel grounded.

I remember sitting down for meditation and realizing I was rushing through the meditation itself.

Think about that for a moment.

I would open my eyes halfway through and wonder if the timer was almost done.

Sometimes I'd glance at my watch waiting for it to end.

That is not how I normally show up for meditation.

Meditation is supposed to create space.

It's supposed to help you slow down.

But I had become so focused on productivity that even my moments of restoration felt rushed.

I'm sharing that because I want to be honest.

It's a little embarrassing to admit.

But it happened.

And it became another reminder that the systems I was using weren't aligned with how I wanted to live.

What I eventually realized is that every person's journey is different.

We all have different gifts.

Different responsibilities.

Different resources.

Different family dynamics.

Different seasons of motherhood.

Different support systems.

Because of that, the strategies that work for one person may not work for another.

And that's okay.

What matters is building a life that reflects your reality.

Not someone else's.

So if there's one thing I hope you'll remember from this portion of the conversation, it's this:

There may not be perfect balance, but there are intentional choices.

And intentional choices can change everything.

What have those intentional choices looked like for me?

Well, one example is what happens after I create content.

When I finish making a Reel or posting something online, I put my phone down.

I don't immediately start monitoring performance.

I don't sit there refreshing analytics.

I don't spend the next hour checking likes and engagement.

To be fair, this is something I was already doing on my personal accounts.

I've never really been someone who enjoys constantly checking metrics after posting.

Part of that is because I know myself.

I know how easily I can get pulled into scrolling.

I know how easily one thing can turn into another.

And before I know it, I've lost valuable time.

So instead, I stay focused on the things that matter most in that moment.

I create the content.

I release it.

And then I return to my life.

Another intentional choice I've made involves my evenings.

When I'm lying in bed, I used to be tempted to check email.

Review analytics.

Look at platform metrics.

Plan future content.

Tinker with projects.

There is literally no end to what you can do on a phone.

But instead, I've started reaching for my Kindle.

Or I'll attach a small reading light to a physical book and spend time reading before bed.

Reading helps me settle down.

It helps me transition into rest.

And while I don't do this perfectly every single night, I do practice it regularly.

And that practice has made a difference.

Because sustainable joy isn't built through perfection.

It's built through consistent choices that support the life you're trying to create.

Now, I want to connect this conversation to my professional life for a moment because there is actually a direct relationship.

By day, I work as a consultant.

My area of expertise is project management.

And as a PMP-certified project manager, one of the concepts that has influenced me the most is the Agile mindset.

When I first started studying Agile principles, I realized something.

These ideas don't only apply to professional projects.

They're incredibly useful in everyday life.

At its core, project management is about moving something from a beginning point to a desired outcome.

There's a goal.

There's a purpose.

And there are steps required to get there.

Agile emphasizes flexibility.

It emphasizes iteration.

It emphasizes learning as you go.

Instead of trying to build everything at once, you work in smaller pieces.

You make adjustments.

You evaluate progress.

And you keep moving forward.

That framework has become incredibly valuable in my personal life.

When I think about Live Africa O., I don't approach it as one giant mountain I need to climb immediately.

I approach it one step at a time.

One project at a time.

One piece at a time.

And throughout the process, I constantly ask myself:

"Does this still align with the purpose I originally intended?"

Because completing a task isn't enough.

Checking something off a list isn't enough.

The real question is whether the work still reflects the purpose behind it.

That's the standard I try to use.

And honestly, that's what allows me to create while still remaining present for my daughter, my husband, my wellness practices, my freelance work, and everything else that matters.

The work gets done.

But it gets done in a way that supports the life I'm living.

Not in a way that competes with it.

[TAKEAWAY]

As we begin wrapping up this conversation, I want to share a few real-life examples of what it looks like for me to apply today's quote in real time.

The quote, again, is:

"Joy and sustainability work in tandem. They are not trade-offs."

One of the ways this shows up in my life is through what I call honoring my hard mornings.

If you've ever had a toddler, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Sometimes children wake up in the middle of the night.

Sometimes they need water.

Sometimes they're hungry.

Sometimes they simply don't want to sleep.

And sometimes they wake up at three o'clock in the morning and tell you something completely unexpected.

The other night my daughter woke me up and said:

"Mommy, it feels like an octopus is sitting on my head."

Now, that's funny.

It really is.

But at three o'clock in the morning when you're exhausted, it's a little less funny.

Those nights happen.

And when they do, I have learned to be honest with myself the next day.

I have learned to say:

"Africa, you only got four hours of sleep."

"You are not going to operate at your normal capacity today."

And that's okay.

Instead of pretending I can push through the day exactly as planned, I adjust.

I may move things around.

I may postpone a project.

I may spend more time reading, walking, or simply resting.

Less content may get created.

Less work may get completed.

And that's okay.

Because the value of restoration far outweighs the value of forcing productivity.

Another way I practice sustainable joy is through walking.

I use walks to process challenges in real time.

Whether the challenge involves parenting, marriage, family, work, or simply navigating life, walking gives me space to think.

It gives me space to feel.

It gives me space to process.

And most importantly, it gives me permission not to immediately push through difficult emotions.

I can sit with them.

I can work through them.

I can learn from them.

Walking has become one of the most powerful wellness tools in my life.

And then there are what I call high-energy days.

You know those mornings when you wake up and you feel unusually energized?

You have clarity.

You have motivation.

You have momentum.

When those days arrive, I pay attention.

Because for me, those are often my best creative days.

On days like that, I love going to Books & Brew in Tucker, Georgia.

It's a Black-owned bookstore with great food, great books, and a wonderful atmosphere.

It's one of my favorite places to create.

When I find myself with that extra energy, I intentionally redirect it.

Maybe I could attend a social event.

Maybe I could spend the evening out somewhere.

And there is absolutely a time and place for those things.

But sometimes I recognize that the greatest value comes from using that energy to create.

So I lean into it.

I write.

I plan.

I record.

I build.

And because I've learned to rest when I need rest, I can fully capitalize on those moments when energy naturally arrives.

That's the beauty of sustainability.

You're no longer forcing productivity.

You're working with your life rather than against it.

So what is the takeaway from this episode?

If you take away nothing else, I hope you remember this:

I am still goal-oriented.

I still create plans.

I still set objectives.

Every week.

Every month.

Every year.

But flexibility is built into those plans.

Because my emotional load is real.

My mental load is real.

My physical load is real.

And those realities deserve to be honored.

The Agile mindset has taught me something incredibly valuable:

Stay flexible.

Stay connected to your purpose.

Work in smaller chunks.

Don't try to do everything at once.

Don't bite off more than you can realistically handle in the season you're currently living.

Choose longevity over intensity.

Let me say that again.

Choose longevity over intensity.

That is sustainability.

That is where sustainable joy lives.

And sustainable joy is the goal.

[CLOSING]

I truly enjoyed this conversation.

I know this episode ran a little longer than usual, but I felt it was necessary.

I wanted to create space for the full picture.

I wanted to be honest about what this journey has looked like for me.

As always, I hope you've taken away something that can support your own wellness journey.

Maybe it helps you this week.

Maybe it helps you this season.

Maybe it's something you share with another mother who needs the reminder.

And if that's the case, please share this episode.

Leave a review.

Leave a comment.

Those simple actions help more people discover this space and allow me to continue creating content for you.

If you'd like to support my work further, you can also visit Buy Me a Coffee and support Live Africa O. there.

Thank you so much for spending this time with me.

Have a wonderful day.

Stay motivated.

Stay inspired on your wellness journey.

And as always, more content is coming soon.

That's a wrap on today's episode of A Soulful Mom's Wisdom.

I hope this quote sat with you the way it sat with me.

And if it challenged you, even just a little, good.

That's where the growth lives.

You showed up for yourself today.

And that matters.

If you're ready to continue this journey, come find me at liveafricao.com.

Until next time…

You are seen.

You are safe.

And your joy is worth pursuing.