Episode 54: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life - You're Allowed to Prioritize Yourself

Episode 54: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life - You’re Allowed to Prioritize Yourself

On this episode of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom, Africa O. gets beautifully practical. Episode 54 is a warm, grounding conversation about what joy actually looks like in real daily life, not as an abstract concept, but as a lived experience woven into mornings, meals, movement, and evenings. This episode invites you to stop waiting for joy to arrive and start intentionally creating it, one small ritual at a time.

Still in month two of season seven, Africa continues the theme of cultivating inner joy as an intentional practice — and this time, she brings it all the way down to the details. From morning walks to steamy showers, nourishing lunches to Kindle nights, she shares the specific rituals that fill her cup. And she opens with a reminder that holds it all together: you are allowed to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty.

Theme: Finding Yourself Inside Your Life (Month 2 — Cultivating Inner Joy)

Month two of season seven centers on joy as an intentional, daily practice. This episode zooms in on what that looks like in real life…  the small, repeatable rituals and chosen moments that accumulate into a genuinely joyful life. Africa’s focus this episode is not on grand gestures, but on simple, accessible practices that anyone can begin implementing right away.

Quote

“You’re allowed to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty.” — Africa O.

Episode Summary

Africa opens by grounding this episode in a simple but important distinction: joy is not happiness. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is sustainable. And joy does not arrive on its own… It requires intention, boundaries, and a willingness to choose yourself. The episode quote, written by Africa in her own planner to set the tone for her month, speaks directly to that: you are allowed to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty.

She then walks through her day, sharing the specific rituals that bring her genuine joy across each part of it. In the mornings, a 10-minute walk after dropping her daughter off at school is one of her most cherished practices — not something she does every single day, but something she carves out for herself as often as she can. She also describes her coffee and book ritual, which she considers one of her most grounding routines: sitting with a good read before engaging with email, messages, or the demands of the day. She talks about the intentionality behind protecting this window and why checking her calendar the night before is part of making it possible.

In the afternoons, Africa talks about the joy of a nourishing lunch… leftover stir fry, veggie bowls, simple almond butter toasts…  and connects what she eats directly to her mood and her workouts. She shares the science behind this connection: diet impacts mood, and mood impacts everything. A great workout follows a nourishing meal. And the workout itself is another deep source of joy — not just for the endorphins it releases, but because it represents something that is entirely hers. It cannot be taken away. It is one of the few spaces where she gets to be a high achiever every single day, on her own terms.

She also shares the joy of quality time with her daughter and husband, aligned with her core value of love, and the joy of evening rituals: her Kindle, a reading light clipped to a physical book, steamy showers with intentional scents, and coloring…  sometimes with music, sometimes in quiet, sometimes with her daughter.

Africa also shares a personal story from a week when her husband and daughter were away… and rather than filling the time with productivity, she chose rest, a solo outing to a live music performance at The Works ATL, wine, her Kindle, and art. She talks about solo dates to art exhibits, visits to Café Intermezzo, and book talks at the Atlanta History Center — including an event with Colson Whitehead and another featuring the author of Black History AF. These are not extravagant experiences. They are intentional ones.

The episode closes with two clear, actionable steps for implementing more joy this week: set one clear boundary around your time, and communicate one specific need to your partner or support system. Joy, Africa reminds us, is not something you wait for. It is yours. It was gifted to you from the moment you arrived. Claim it.

Episode Highlights

•Joy is not something you wait for…  it is something you intentionally create

•The difference between happiness (fleeting) and joy (sustainable)

•Morning rituals: a 10-minute post-drop-off walk and a coffee-and-book routine before engaging with the day

•Setting boundaries around your morning as an act of self-prioritization

•Afternoon joy: nourishing meals and the direct connection between diet, mood, and workout quality

•The joy of working out…  endorphins, personal achievement, and something that is entirely yours

•Evening rituals: Kindle reading, a reading light, steamy showers, and coloring

•Quality time with family as a joy practice aligned with core values

•Solo dating: live music, art exhibits, book talks, and coffee shop visits as intentional self-care

•Two actionable steps: set one clear time boundary and communicate one specific need to your support system

•Joy is your birthright — claim it

Make sure you explore more health & wellness insights and coaching opportunities at liveafricao.com. Stay connected for more episodes of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom.

Please be sure to rate and review the podcast. You are greatly appreciated. 

Thank you!

Transcript

A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom

Episode 54 — Full Transcript

You’re Allowed to Prioritize Yourself

[INTRO]

Welcome to A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom. I’m Africa O., your host and Wellness Guide. Each episode, I open with a quote that has shaped my own life journey in a positive way and explore how that same wisdom can uplift and do the same for you. This is a space for moms who are ready to reconnect with who they are beyond motherhood. Pull up a chair, pour your coffee. Let’s get into it.

[EPISODE]

Well, hello there. Welcome back to another episode of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom. I am your host, Africa O. For those of you who are new here, I truly enjoy having candid conversations on this podcast about things I hope will help elevate your day and help you experience deeper joy. Each episode, I discuss what I enjoy doing and I may describe it in a slightly different way from time to time… but overall, that is always the goal.

I feel fortunate to have found ways to incorporate wellness into my life that really help me experience joy. Not happiness, which is fleeting, but joy, which is sustainable. We all have access to it. And I am just hoping that through my wellness journey, which is far from perfect — you can take what resonates and use it to elevate your own.

We are in season seven, and the theme is finding yourself inside your life. We are in month two of season seven, and for this month we are talking about quotes centered around cultivating inner joy and considering joy as an intentional practice with real limitations. Let’s hop right into it, episode 54.

The quote for this episode… I am the author. I actually pulled this from one of my planners. I like to write quotes at the beginning of each month to set the tone for how I’m going to move through it. I don’t do it every month, but when I do, and when a quote really speaks to me, I try to re-share it. That’s what I’m doing now.

The quote says this: You’re allowed to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty.

When I think about this quote and how it has informed my life, I really want to hold space for thinking about joy in the capacity of what it truly looks like in our daily lives… not as some abstract concept, but practically. What does it actually look like? I want you to leave this episode inspired or reminded of what joy looks like in your life. Think small rituals, intentional moments, and  just like the quote says…  choosing yourself without apologizing for it.

I have talked about this before in my wellness space, but these rituals and moments of joy are all wrapped up in my wellness routine. It is truly what brought me to taking my wellness work online. What I thought was everyone’s normal… finding ways to hold onto joy through adversity, I’ve learned is not. I’m talking about losing both of my parents early, navigating a complicated dynamic with a sibling who has their own challenges, a very difficult journey through corporate spaces, and then becoming a mother. Through all of those seasons of life, I never lost sight of joy. I actually continued to experience it. I thought that was more common than it apparently is. And so I feel that sharing my journey is part of my gift… hopefully helping you take something away from it.

[MORNING RITUALS]

Let’s talk about my mornings. Most mornings, I drop my daughter off at school and immediately take a 10-minute walk. This is not something I do every single morning… I want to start there. But it is something I carve out for myself regularly, and it feels so good. Now, yes, there are mornings where my daughter is running slow, didn’t sleep well, or just doesn’t feel like going to school. I still make sure she has a nourishing breakfast — a yogurt fruit cup with nuts, multigrain toast with almond butter and banana and a little cinnamon, things like that. Quick, nutritious options. But I make it clear that on those mornings, we are not sitting down for a full spread. I set that boundary, because in order for me to still take my walk, I need to honor it.

In the mornings, I also really enjoy coffee and a book. I talk about this a lot and I post about it often… my favorite coffee shops, the books I’m reading. This is by far one of my most significant rituals and it is genuinely grounding. I love to do it before I engage in any phone calls, emails, or interactions with others. Lately I have been really paying attention to the mornings when I skip this and go straight to my phone… checking email, scrolling texts. There is a noticeable difference. Of course, there are days when I know I have early appointments and I need to check my calendar first. But typically, I check my calendar the evening before so that the next morning all I have to think about is getting my daughter to school and then getting a little time to myself. A walk. Coffee and a book. Or both.

Coffee is warm, sometimes cold, inexpensive, and usually enjoyed in a nice environment where you can people watch and just breathe. Books are the centerpiece of so many things… life, ideas, knowledge. They pour into you. And there is something about holding a good read in your hands in a warm, safe space that feels like a kind of portable coziness you can access anywhere… whether you’re in Atlanta or out of the country.

[AFTERNOON RITUALS]

In the afternoon, joy often looks like this: eating lunch. And I know that might sound very basic, but there is so much beauty and joy in simplicity. I aim to eat around noon or by 1 p.m. at the latest. Something nourishing… leftover stir fry with mixed vegetables and a light seasoning, some chicken or shrimp or another protein, sometimes just a big veggie bowl with broccoli, carrots, kale, whatever I have on hand. Other times it is truly simple — a toasted sandwich with almond butter and a little jelly, some cinnamon, a smoothie on the side, maybe some nuts. I usually want something crunchy with my meals. But the point is just having something that actually nourishes me, whether I’m sitting down or eating on the go.

There is real psychology behind how diet impacts mood, and I have written about this in some of my blogs. What I eat has a direct correlation to the joy I experience throughout the day. And it impacts my workouts too. I have definitely gone to run, done strength training, gone to yoga… and felt bloated, heavy, off. And I have also had the opposite experience: a nutritious meal, a beautiful day outside, and a run that feels like no other run. When I’m fueled well, I am in the zone.

Speaking of working out… a great workout is one of the deepest sources of joy in my life. Not just because of the endorphins, though those are real and powerful and worth emphasizing. No matter how hard it is to get yourself to the gym or outside, you will feel better afterward. That is a guarantee. But beyond that, working out is something that is entirely mine. I score high in the Achiever category on personality assessments, and I think that is a big part of why I love it. It is free. I can do it anywhere. My body is capable of it. And I get to reach new heights before I accomplish anything else in a given day. That cannot be taken from me. I find so much joy in that.

I also love walking… peacefully in nature, with an audiobook, talking to a friend, or doing absolutely nothing. Walking is a simple, joyful activity with enormous benefits, and it is one you can do with company or completely alone.

And there is real joy in planned activities with my daughter and my husband. That aligns directly with one of my core values, which is love. When I am actually living out my core values in real time, joy follows naturally.

[EVENING RITUALS]

At night, I love my Kindle. My husband gifted it to me and it has been one of the best things. For anyone who wants a more budget-friendly option, I used an inexpensive reading light from Amazon for a long time — under $20, clips onto any book, charges via USB. Works beautifully. Either way, anything that allows me to wind down with a book rather than a screen is going to improve my sleep quality. Scrolling on a phone before bed, the bright light, the emails, social media… it really does impact how well you sleep. Reading, especially right before bed, puts me into a calm, settled state. It improves my joy in the moment and it sets me up for a better next day.

Steamy showers are also a big one for me. They are like a mini spa. I love intentional scents… body washes that create a sensory experience and sometimes I listen to music or sing while I’m in there. I’ll do a future post or blog about the specific products I use because it deserves its own conversation.

I have also been doing a lot of coloring lately. There is actual psychology behind the benefits of it. I color with music, with audiobooks, in quiet, outside in nature, and with my daughter. It is so good. Highly recommend.

[SOLO DATES & JOY IN THE WORLD]

I also want to talk about dating myself. A few months ago, my husband and daughter were away for an entire week. I had all these ideas about what I was going to do — home projects, deep cleaning. But when I woke up that first morning, I did a little freelance work and then decided: I am resting. And then I am going to go explore some art. I went to a live music performance at The Works ATL, enjoyed some wine, and read my Kindle. That was my date to myself. And it was wonderful.

I love going to art exhibits solo. I love sitting in a spot like Café Intermezzo with a coffee and a little dessert and my Kindle. The Kindle goes with me everywhere…  in a purse, a bag, wherever. And I love book talks. The Atlanta History Center is wonderful for this. I have seen Colson Whitehead speak there, and attended another event, I believe hosted by WABE — featuring a wonderful author named Michael harriot who wrote a book called Black History AF. It is a really good read. These events are essentially a quiet room full of strangers who all love reading and enjoy thought-provoking conversations with authors about their work. That sounds like joy to me. Some of them are free. Some have a small cost, maybe around $30. Very manageable.

[TAKEAWAY]

Let’s circle back to the quote: you’re allowed to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty. Joy is not something you wait for. It is something you intentionally create by setting clear boundaries, being mindful of how you spend your time, and communicating your needs. When you do those things, you make space for what genuinely restores you, not what someone tells you it’s supposed to be, but what actually serves you in the space of joy. Even within real limitations, prioritizing what feels good is still possible. Whether that’s rest, reflection, movement, or solitude… all of these things are essential for protecting your energy and supporting your mental wellbeing.

Two ways to implement joy this week. First, set one clear boundary around your time. For example, limit social media to 20 minutes a day. Most apps have a built-in timer feature for this. Then replace that reclaimed time with something that fills your cup… a walk, a read, an audio journal entry, even just two words in a journal. Two words can go a long way when you look back on them. Don’t overthink it.

Second, communicate one specific need. Ask your partner or support system for 20 to 30 minutes of dedicated time for you to rest, reset, or do something that genuinely brings you joy.

Joy is something you were gifted from the moment you arrived on this earth. It is yours. Claim it. It is waiting on you. You have the tools to create it.

[CLOSING]

As always, if anything on this podcast resonates with you, leave a comment under the Spotify episode or, if you’re on Apple Podcasts, feel free to leave a review for A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom. You can also support me at buymeacoffee.com, anything and everything helps this journey continue. Thank you.

That’s a wrap on today’s episode of A Soulful Mom’s Wisdom. I hope this quote sat with you the way it sat with me. And if it challenged you, even just a little… good. That’s where the growth lives. You showed up for yourself today, and that matters.

If you’re ready to continue this journey, come find me at liveafricao.com. Until next time… you are seen, you are safe, and your joy is worth pursuing.