Confessions Beyond the Food

Unshakable: Women’s Wisdom from the Frontlines of Foodservice, Sales & Startups

• Nancy Ridlen, W3 Sales

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Nancy Ridlen shares ten hard-earned lessons for women in foodservice, sales and entrepreneurship, drawing from her 25 years of experience navigating spaces that weren't always built for women. These personal confessions offer a roadmap for staying authentic while confronting biases and building successful careers in any industry.

  1. Embrace Who You Are
  2. Know You Will Face Challenges
  3. Understand Communication Perception
  4. Address Harassment and Microaggressions Head-On
  5. Be Kind and Uplifting to Other Women
  6. Mentor the Next Generation
  7. Do Your Homework on Company Culture
  8. Confront Bullying Tactics
  9. Leverage the Unique Strengths Women Bring
  10. Avoid Reverse Discrimination

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Confessions Beyond the Food. I'm your host, nancy Redland. Let's dig in and get inspired. Hi, welcome back to Confessions Beyond the Food, where I share the real, unpolished truths I've learned about being a woman in food service sales and entrepreneurship. I'm Nancy, and if there's one thing that this journey has taught me, it's that success is not just about strategy or a good business plan. It's about staying rooted in who you are while navigating spaces that weren't always built for you. These are my top 10 lessons, some hard-earned, some surprising and all deeply personal From embracing your natural strengths to confronting bias and learning how to lift other women up along the way. This isn't a list of theories. It's just a roadmap I wish I'd had when I started 25 years ago. So whether you're here to pick up a few tips, feel less alone or spark change in your own corner of the industry, I hope you'll find something that resonates with you. So let's dig into the top 10 how-tos for being a female in the food service sales and as an entrepreneur. So the first thing is to embrace who you are.

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You do not have to think or act like a man to succeed. I remember when I first started and I was negotiating contracts, and it was a new thing for me and there were some things that had never been challenged before with other, with other reps like me. But I wanted to address these particular subjects and a mentor told me Nancy, you need to think like a man, you need to speak like a man and just bully your way through this and I just was like, wait, no, that's not me. Um, that was not me. While I did want to get my point across, I wanted to speak it in a way that was true to my voice, and I feel that when you do that and when you pretend not to be somebody else, a man or you know any leader that you you know, I think it's really important to be who you are and use your authentic voice, intuition and style, because those things become your superpowers. It's a great thing to think about, whoever you are talking about Like I mean, that's just sales 101, is to think about how that person thinks about a particular subject, or what their background is or how they approach certain situations. I mean, it's really good to understand that, but that doesn't mean that I have to take on that stance, really trust these superpowers. They really work. It just comes with sitting back and really thinking about it before having hard conversations or negotiating and all those things. Be prepared, biases, assumptions and roadblocks will appear and I think it's really important to anticipate them so that they don't derail your confidence or momentum.

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That one of my customers asked me when I was there for the first time and I was finding out what they were looking for, and he had an order to place, and he said hey, will you sit in my lap while we take the order? And I just was like, wait what? And so here I am in this five-star property and I'm so excited he's about to place an order and I want to make a really good first impression. And this is not just a one and done type of a deal. This is a relationship that I have to keep on going from here on out. And here he is making a suggestive comment to me and I mean that is crazy. There's lots of crazy things that's happened to me. But I said, no, uh, I will stand here and take your order and and we should be good, right, and so and and so, once you know, we got past that and I stood up for myself, even, as you know, as a very young, female and wanting to make a good impression for my company and all the things. You have to be prepared to face those challenges and to say no. And that is really, really OK If you have knowing that these things happen and that when you walk into a room as a female, they're going to assume certain things about you potentially if they don't know you. And so understanding those biases and what could be roadblocks, that way you can help navigate those and have really good confidence and build momentum as you go. And you would think by 2025 that we wouldn't have these challenges still, but we do and it's just still there and unfortunately it's sad but it still happens. So there it is.

Speaker 1:

Number three understand communication perception. So what you say and how you say, it may be heard differently, coming from a woman. So when I say something, I may stand up for my company and come to a client with agreements. Sometimes I can tell that they have viewed me as being whiny, that I'm complaining, that I'm just adding something to their to-do list almost like a wife, that I'm complaining, that I'm whining, but I'm really coming with a serious grievance to them and giving them the facts. And it still looked that way and it's just going to happen. Them the facts, and it still looked that way, and it's just going to happen, that's just going to happen. And so I think it's really important, when you say things, to really think about it before you come, you know, to your employer or a client with very with the facts, and speak in facts and put your spin on it. But it's really important to lay out the truth, especially if you are viewed like that and you know what I'm just going to say. It it's not fair. It's just not fair because Joe next to me could say the exact same thing. Joe next to me could say the exact same thing and they're like, wow, great suggestion, or we'll work on it. But I do not get that luxury in a lot of things that I do and it's super frustrating. And so that is just something that I have continually have to remember, to think about how I want to say it and communicate it, while staying true to myself.

Speaker 1:

The next thing that is very important is addressing harassment and microaggressions head on. So back to the story about a guy sitting on me, sitting on his lap. That is a bing, bing, bing. That's major sexual harassment in the workplace, and so I was able to turn it around and he became a really great client of mine over time and really respected me after I earned my feather. There was another time, not shortly after in my early on career, that a man, one of my clients was, I mean, sexually harassing me, like sending me notes, like sending me crazy emails, and I didn't tell anybody because it wasn't bad, but I was really really uncomfortable Because it wasn't bad, but I was really really uncomfortable and I felt like it's almost like being in an abusive relationship or it's like the frog putting it in a pot of cold water and you just keep turning it up, up, up, up up and the next thing you know you're boiling.

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The next thing I knew in that particular situation he had backed me in a walk-in cooler with nobody around him and I had a knife literally in my purse, like work bag, and it was like a steak knife or something that I was showing, but I had it as protection because I was that scared of that guy, I didn't pull it out or anything, but I finally was like, scared of that guy, I didn't pull it out or anything, but I finally was like this is enough. I have to tell my VP of sales and and she just did I mean she no questions asked she said we will not call on that customer and they spent a lot of money with me. And that was really hard for me as a young person. But I'm so glad I addressed it because not only did I not have to go back in there and my boss stood up for me and they took all the proper actions, but I learned from that with being, with having young um or any females or anyone on my team that has any harassment and any microaggressions and saying, hey, we do not tolerate that here and that is not appropriate. And so we take it very seriously and I have very strong boundaries and I do it without apology, because you want to create a safe space for your team, you want to create a safe space for yourself. So if you are being harassed, please report it to a manager or somebody within your company.

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Number five be kind and uplifting to other women. Collaboration over competition, all right. So as women we like I mean this is a generalization, guys for me it's like comparison. You know, we're very, we compare each other, you know, and and a lot of the times when you are in a male dominated industry and there's another female in the room, it actually can create sometimes for some people, animosity and they view them as their competition and that you know you're, you're the, you're the female of the group. Who's this chick? So? But I think it's really important that we be kind to other women and uplifting, and I think it's.

Speaker 1:

I have made so many good friends with other women in the industry, whether they are my superiors, whether they are my coworkers or whether they report to me, and I think I've learned that you know being kind and mentoring them and you know the younger one, that you know the newer ones to the industry is um, has been so rewarding for me as um, as a business leader and being in sales and um, it's really important that we get to not only encourage each other but celebrate wins, share insight. You know, share insights and talk about some of the stuff that comes up in the industry that wants you know, that is uncomfortable or even that wants to pit us against each other. So be kind to your fellow women. The next thing is number six mentor the next generation, which kind of goes with what I was just talking about, but I think that has been the most. And I said rewarding it just is. It's just such a gift to be able to take on the next generation of female leaders and show them what good leadership looks like.

Speaker 1:

And I had, you know, we've all probably had a female boss that wasn't nice to us and at some point in our career and was scary, and at some point in our career and was scary and and, while I did learn things from them for sure, the, the, the lack of like, nurturing and kind of wanting to build me up and kind of show me the ropes, um, was kind of discouraging and the, the people that I can remember, the people that took the time to get to know me, that brought me under, you know, their wing and um, and really just kind of fed into me and and and gave me lots of wisdom over the years and answered my questions and and just helped me get through a lot of difficult situations. If you are new to an industry, in sales or wherever you are, I really encourage you. I think probably in all my how-tos is find a mentor, find somebody that you can default information to, to have confidential conversations, but you know somebody to help you have these difficult conversations along your career path. Number seven do your homework on company culture. So, before joining or partnering with any organization, I think it's really important to research how they treat women at every level. And the second part of that is culture is contagious.

Speaker 1:

And so we had a situation that we were interviewing with a client back when we first started our business, back when we first started our business, and one of the things that he asked us in our interview because he was interviewing myself and my business partner is what do your husbands do for a living? And I answered the question and my business partner answered the question and we both were like wait, are you asking who takes care of our children? And he's like wait, are you asking like who takes care of our children? And he's like, yeah, I'm kind of wondering, I'm kind of wondering if you have child care. I seriously wanted to be like hey, kids come out, come out from the bag. They found us out. You know, we've got a daycare back here in our, in our showroom. It really floored me and this was a very large company and I couldn't believe that, that, you know, and this was one of the top leaders of the company and I could not believe that that was a question that people ask and maybe that's just you know something, that he you know, just doesn't know any better to ask that question. But it really was uncomfortable and and actually I wanted that. I wanted to sign that client even though it wasn't a match culturally, because I mean it would have just been the most awesome. It was a great factory. However, it did not work out and looking back, I'm glad it didn't, and just because I think that it wouldn't be a match culturally, because we have a lot of women on our team. But I think it's really important to look how they view women, how they treat women around them. Do they have women in leadership? And that could totally be changed. So don't count anybody out, but I think it's really important on how they treat women at every level, because culture is truly contagious contagious.

Speaker 1:

So the number eight confront bullying tactics. So if a man is trying to undermine or intimidate, you respond with clarity and professionalism. So when you are being confronted by a bully, if you don't know what to say, I just recommend just saying listen, I need a second to think about this. Can we put a pin in it? And I'll come back if it's just out of the blue. But if you know that you are walking into a situation where somebody is a bully, I think it's really important to have your case ready to go. What are the facts? What are you know, document everything, dates, timelines, whatever. It is that you that you can give yourself, feel confident in facts, not emotion, not emotion. And just to have that conversation, not emotion. And just to have that conversation and also to just know when to just totally bow out or if you are able to escalate that situation to their superior. So you know you want you're going to run into bullies. I mean women, men, whoever all the time, men, whoever all the time. I think it's really important to know how to talk to a bully and also don't be a bully, please. But know how to talk to a bully, but also know when hey, this person is not going to change their mind. They are firm in their thing. It's like you need to cut the conversation, walk away. And my mom always says do you want it to die here? Do you want to die on the hill? You know, and that's, that's going to be your call. You have to make Number nine leverage the unique strengths women bring.

Speaker 1:

So the thing I love about being a female is that we have an empathy. I think that that, I think, is really special, that we can we really can read a room and I've seen so many times where men and women they'lluging the room, not adding any finesse to it. It's just like blah, you know sometimes and that is you know, and that works for some people. But for as a female I think that's one thing we do really well is like we can walk into a room and see what's happening around us and know that, hey, that guy looks really busy right now. I think I'm going to get you know. I don't think I'm going to come in and start vomiting a 15 minute spill. I'll probably come in, say hi, you know, and try to catch him at a different time. But you know, empathy is something we really do well. I think we do resilience very well. We can get smacked down, but we get right back up.

Speaker 1:

Adaptability I think that, as a female, females were very adaptable and in different situations and different personalities and certain situations, and these aren't just like soft skills. These are very great traits that drive lasting success. So definitely figure out, like you know, what your strengths are. Again, female or man, figure out what makes you unique and really use those as your strengths are. Again, female or man, figure out what makes you unique and really use those as your superpowers.

Speaker 1:

Number 10, advocate for equality, not revenge. So avoid reverse discrimination. So I think it's important to do unto others as you would have done to them. I think it's important to do unto others as you would have done to them. And so you want to model the inclusive culture that you want to see, and never assume that men are your enemy. We do not want to punish a man for being a man or want him to think, you know, want him to be inauthentic to who he is. So, just like we want to have our voice, we need to let men have their voice.

Speaker 1:

And the cool thing is is that when you get men and women together, ideas flowing and just without abandon, not worrying about what other people are thinking, you come up with some incredible ideas and collaborations. And so I just you know I really enjoy working with men and I you know they're, we have, you know they're, they're amazing. I'm married to a great man and he is. He knows how to bring me down, like 10 levels and um, but I, I really want to really stress that. You know, we all have our bents, we all have our weaknesses, we all have our strengths and we all are gifted uniquely, and so we don't want to hold that against, you know, the opposite sex, and what we want to do is try to lift them up, find those unique qualities, find ways that you can connect with them at the same level, um, without sacrificing on either side who you are, um, and just be, just be proud of who you are. And you know, obviously we're all not perfect. We're not perfect at all and there's room for improvement for everyone. And so I just think, you know, overall, being a female has been really, really fun, but it's also, you know, been challenging. But overall, those challenging times and you know, epiphanies I've had that may have just come out differently, in the ways that we've approached the market and doing things different, that some really cool things have emerged.

Speaker 1:

And again, I'm still learning and I'm really hopeful that in the next 10 years, as you continue your career, wherever you are on that spectrum, that we can spark a change in each and every organization and we can treat others well. If you treat people well, they are going to treat you well back. If someone is just, if you're in a position where you're miserable and you're constantly beaten down, then it's time to go. Try to. You know, find somewhere else or, you know, you know advocate for change. Talk to a mentor. There's so many things that we can do to be a part of the solution, and it takes both sides, men and females. So I just want to thank you so much for joining me today on my podcast and I hope you will tune in to our next episode For more inspiration. Follow our social media at W3Cells. Please like, comment and subscribe. You know all the things we would love to connect with you.