Finding Your Way Home; The Secrets to True Alignment

Podcast Short - Re-Writing your story to change your life; mini with Spiritual Guide Andrea Klincokova

• Anthea Bell

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2025 Debut Short - Re-writing your Story with Spiritual Guide Andrea Klincokova
 
This week's episode is the first in our new series of Podcast Minis; conversational gems drawn from the archive and upcoming conversations, designed to fill your spiritual, emotional and embodiment cup.
 
 We start with an intimate and potent excerpt from Episode 1 of the Podcast's history - an interview with Quantum and Life Coach Andrea Klincokova. Andrea's passion is the intersection of personal development, energetics and spiritual practice. In this nugget, released at the very moment most are actively planning their 2025 principles and goals, we explore the profound power of story, personal identity, the nature of suffering and how we can actively choose the narratives we live by.
 
 Expect insights into childhood conditioning, the mind~body connection and my own experience with letting go of the shame & blame associated with anorexia and ancestral legacies. Let your take-home message be an encouragement to deepest compassion, and reminder of your infinite power to choose the thoughts, beliefs and actions that guide you.
 
 To find out more about Andrea and her coaching work: 

Stay connected with the podcast

  • Follow me on Instagram @ab_embodiment or visit our website for updates, guest insights, and behind-the-scenes magic.

And to explore working together more deeply

Sending love, wherever this finds you.
 
 Anthea x

MacBook Air Microphone:

Oh, gorgeous listeners. Welcome to this week's episode of finding your way home. This is the first short of our 2025 season. And we're releasing it to you right at the cusp of the back to school days. So this has been launched on the 5th of January. The night before everyone moves back into their day-to-day lives. And it felt like a really beautiful moment to offer you something of use around the power of story. This episode was actually recorded, about a year and a half ago. It was my first ever podcast interview by somebody else. And it was such a special, rich, beautiful opportunity to reflect on the stories. I'd grown up with the belief that I had about the role that I played within my family. The level of. Culpability that I took for challenges that in reality kind of weren't my fault fault is not a useful metric. As far as I'm concerned. What we do get to rest with is what is the reality of my experience and what do I choose to do about it? So this is very much a short oriented around proactivity around self-compassion around taking conscious steps to heal your internals. And act outwardly in a way that manifests the expanded vision and elevated way of being that you can feel is truthful for you in the years to come. It's a gorgeous little snippet. I can't wait for you to listen, let us know your feedback. Take care for your first day back. I will be thinking of you.

Welcome to Finding Your Way Home, the secrets to true alignment. I'm your host, Anthea Bell, movement teacher, mind body coach, and lifelong spiritual seeker. This is a podcast about the depth, weight, and profound healing power of connection between mind and body, spirit and soul, and from one human to another. Together with an incredible range of inspiring guests, we'll explore just what connection and alignment mean. How to get there in a world full of the temptation to conform, and how great challenge ultimately can lead to life changing transformation. Get ready for groundbreaking personal stories, conversational deep dives, and a toolkit of strategies to build not just your inner knowing, but your outer world. Let's dive in. been reflecting quite a lot on the power of story. as children, again, if we go back to that base nature, we're very convinced by story. the question that comes up then is what story are you telling yourself on a day to day basis? And is that story serving you? they're not true, you know, they're not, they're not objective. That's sort of the nature of them. they are constructs and we choose them. Whether we're choosing consciously or unconsciously, and so what we have to start to reflect on is, is the story that I'm living, the story that I want to be living? Question number one. And question number two. If not, what would a better story feel like? I work in a, in a mind, body space, but with a lot of people who are independent business owners or, creatives or entrepreneurs, they're people who often walk around with a huge feeling of weight on their shoulders. they're wearing that responsibility hat in every cell of their body. And. One of the things that can be quite tough, if you feel that degree of responsibility for the life you've constructed, and if you feel as though you are depended on by other people, and these people also often tend to think that they have more responsibility for the well being of others than they maybe need to. As an aside, but what they struggle with is often the flexibility of thinking to even allow themselves to vision what they might like more. Yes. And so we go quite often into a degree of visioning because what we know is that the body believes fundamentally what you tell it more than it believes a factual external experience. And it won't be able to tell the difference. If I imagine something and I really flesh out the image. My body will take that to be true, and it will adapt my insides according to that. So if I walk around with a story that, I'm less than, and I don't belong, and I'm alone, and it's really tough to live financially, and my body is vulnerable, then I will feel that in every sense. And if I start to practice, okay, what does it feel like, for example, to have everything I want? Yes. So what would those things be? Well, that would be, I'd love a home that I adore and I'd love, uh, enough finance that I can feel safe and secure. And what you start to realize is the things that you want, you want them not because of the materiality of them. You want them by virtue of how they make you feel. Yes. What they tell you about who you are and how you're allowed to live. And so as people drop into that experience, the next question is, if this is the list of what you want, then the next question is, okay, so what does it feel like already to have that? Exactly. Yes. And you just start to see, I watch these people sitting in front of me and you start to see the shoulders settling away from the earlobes and it's as though they're going through a very deep meditation and they're doing it internally just by allowing freedom. But a lot of the time people have to do that with someone else in order to take the time and be willing to receive that. We could all do it on our own, but we Minimize the importance of proactively investing in our positive vision. And at the same time, at the beginning, there is this resistance you, you talked about at the beginning, like, but I'm so responsible for so many things. How can I take this time to just sit and visualize? You can, You can, and it's noticing. with huge compassion over time, what am I getting out of the story that I'm currently playing? So, you know, when I was When I was in, the early stages of reshaping, recovering, um, I had a lot of negative press about the things that I had struggled with, anxiety It wasn't full blown OCD, but I found it very difficult to live a life that wasn't 100 percent within my control. anorexia you hear very bad press about, and in all of that dialogue is this idea that the participant is to blame for the thing. And also is the implicit idea that if I blame myself enough for something, if I condemn, like a parent telling of a child, then I will change the behavior. And what we know fundamentally is that that is not actually what's effective. It will create a superficial change in the short term, and often it will tether someone into even more of a power dynamic with either the part of themselves that's criticizing or with the person who's telling them off. Yeah. And that power dynamic ends up being very damaging because of course people never really take responsibility in a positive way. They never take hold of their own agency. And so they continue to look for and attract people around them who will act out that power. Yes. And of course that keeps you trapped in the same image that you have of yourself, that I'm less than, that I am the, the sub in some way deferring to this person who has everything that I want for myself. But I've placed them all. I've projected all of them into this other person over here. And I did that for decades. Um, so what was really pivotal for me was. Being willing and being encouraged to look at these areas of unhappiness or these tendencies within myself and spin the lens to ask myself, well, what was it positively that I was getting So what was I getting out of controlling my intake? Or what was I getting out of being a workaholic and, uh, and controlling the amount of hours that I was in the office? Well, of course, I was trying to feel safe the whole time. And what do we get from a feeling of responsibility and a feeling of being critical, you know, I, I again was told this phrase, a little while ago, we tend to think of ourselves as as pieces of. Insert swear word that make the world go round to this combination that I'm really, I'm, I'm really not very valuable and yet I am absolutely fundamental to everything going okay. and you can have those two beliefs coexisting at the same time. So when we have this feeling of responsibility, much of the time, actually what it is, is a distorted way of feeling valued Yes. And at the same time, what you're saying is. we are trying to prove ourselves to people we love, uh, mostly. We can try to prove it to also others, but mainly to people we love. And we really believe that we are not good enough for them, that we should do more or something different. Uh, in, in whatever way, it can be also about how we look, it can be about anything. Very much, very much. And my sense is that all relational dynamics are two person or multiple people. So we're not just dealing with my content, we're dealing with your content. And then we're dealing with this again, liminal space in between where something interesting and odd often happens. So when I first started to really notice. that, let's say that that chemistry and that that chemistry could also be quite painful was when I started falling in love with men who were like my early experiences or women that were like my early experiences. Um, and that's not because my early experiences were uniformly bad, but I had taken some of the traits that would be the least useful or some of the experiences that were the least useful and I had inserted them into. The being of somebody else, and of course there was so much projection in those dances with this romantic other, who was given far more importance in my life than they, than they had even asked for, and necessarily should have been given. Um, and, and you end up tying yourself up in knots again, but feeling very compelled to continue to live out the same thing that you've lived out for, for a time. And what you say about, you know, believing that you're not lovable enough, let's say, I don't belong within my family. I think what's really important is for people to begin to tune into what that tells them about this concept of faith and trust. Because what we know, especially within the body, for example, is that there's this concept of homeostasis. And what homeostasis says is that the body really loves to find a level of equilibrium across its different systems. And there's also something, uh, that's, that's very now understood scientifically and in terms of our physiology, which is that we are hardwired to seek out familiarity. Yes. And if your homeostatic experience is one of of a familiarity, that is not comfortable to live within, then what you have to do is start to rewire. In whatever way you're able to do that with whatever tools you're provided. So if I have a base belief or a base experience, or a belief of an experience, because that happens too, that I'm not loved within my immediate family context, then what I'll do is I'll continue to act as though that is the case. And my personality and my role within the family will continue to enact that. And what we don't do, of course, when we believe something 100 percent to be true, that element of gentle self righteousness, is that we don't ever really ask the question or have the conversation. it's the thing that became a real game changer. You know, my, my family had, had seen me go through an awful lot, and of course, that for them was a very painful experience. And so when I, when I really began to invest in changing, one of the things that I did was start to gently open up the conversations that had never happened at the time to, to reconcile the past that they were homeostatically used to and what was now happening for me, which was that I was transforming and, and experiencing this, this really groundbreaking shifting of who I was and what I wanted. Um, but I think the conversation often does have to happen and it's an act of faith to do that. And we go back to this idea of, you know, spirituality and, and leaning into that, then there is an implicit trust that I love to walk around with that the universe is fundamentally quite benevolent. That it has just as much capacity to surprise and delight and overjoy me as it does to send me perfectly times challenges that force me to grow, And what we know is that what we pay attention to grows. And so one could argue that the more that I believe that the universe is there to support and guide me, whatever you believe in, the more I will begin to live that experience. And actually the more that my body will begin to live that experience, I'll notice my fascia is more open. I'll notice that my joint ranges are more improved and balanced. I'll be connecting to my parasympathetic nervous system more regularly. I'll sleep more deeply. All of these things that I see people lacking when they first come Because of course they just don't feel safe and they, they haven't. Yes. And that's, again, beautifully connected to the name of this podcast, Trust the Unknown, because all what you are talking about is really finding that faith that even though I don't know how it is going to look like, because maybe I don't have the experience yet, I am going to do. Whatever it is that I want to, and maybe even have to, because I get to the point of where whatever I was living, thinking, feeling till now is really not working for me anymore. And I have to find a way how to do it differently. There's a really beautiful poem that I read this morning Encapsulates what you're talking about and I wonder if you'd be willing for me to read it. Yes, please. It's the first time that I've come across this poet and so it says, make peace with all the women you once were, lay flowers at their feet, offer them incense and honey and forgiveness. Honor them and give them your silence. Listen. Bless them and let them be, for they are the bones of the temple you sit in now. For they are the rivers of wisdom leading you towards the sea. And the poem is called, I have been a thousand different women. Hmm. And what I love about it is. That when we acknowledge transition and when we start to take agency in restructuring and redirecting our energies, what we also have to do is honor everything that came before. Because otherwise we're still ostracizing and denying the parts of us that so needed to be seen initially, so guided us towards all of the strategies that we find to no longer be useful. So we can't continue to push away. It's much more of a question of embracing and allowing yourself to make a different choice.

Anthea:

gorgeous listeners. Thank you. So. So. much. For your ears. I hope. You enjoy today's. today's. episode. To find. More about our. Featured guests. Have a look in the show. Notes.