Kundalini Yoga as a Pathway to Freedom: Spiritual Guide Kiranjot on the journey from dark depression to unbridled light

Gorgeous Listeners, welcome to this week’s episode of Finding Your Way Home,

Today, we have a listen of as much spiritual integrity as emotional depth - a heart-opening discussion with a Kundalini Yoga advocate who used this centuries-old tradition to move herself through depression and into light. 

Laura, who goes by the spiritual name Kiranjot ("Kiran" meaning "ray of sunlight" and "Jot" meaning "to hold"), is a Spiritual Guide, Kundalini Teacher and Retreat Facilitator, supporting those with a range of mental health challenges through the art and discipline of Kundalini Yoga. As she describes in our tender conversation, her pathway toward this ancient form was unexpected - her own ray of light during the darkest period of her adult life, when no other solution had offered enough insight or impetus to change. Having met Laura back in 2023, I knew she needed to feature on the podcast. Not only for her love of aligned, spiritual-activated movement, but for her love itself; the clarity that it is this guiding force that truly heals, truly bonds, truly cultivates a human's deepest potential. 

In this episode Laura and I explore:

• Faith driven surrender - taking the leap because you've chosen to, not because you have no other choice  
• Learning to abandon the Western cultural chronology - trusting that your life is exactly where it is meant to be 
• Kundalini yoga as a pathway to freedom of mind and body
• Working with and through depression - ultimately, to access one's innate capacity for gratitude and joy
• Cultivating "ritual" in one's life - and how that practice becomes a daily devotion that feeds your soul

To find out more about Laura's work:

Find her on Instagram: @kiranjot108
Visit her website, for details on upcoming retreats, classes, and 1-to-1 sessions: https://kiranjot.com/

Stay connected with the podcast:

Thank you for listening; it means the world to us. We'd be so grateful if you could rate, review or share this gorgeous episode with someone you love. That small act brings us to new ears and eyes - it builds the movement of health and connection that FYWH is built on. 

For more information and upcoming news on the podcast, follow us on  @ab_embodiment and our website. 

And to explore working together more deeply:

• Join our free newsletter for insights, events and self-healing resources.
• Apply for an Early Bird place on the Embodiment Coaching Certification 2025 - taking your work as a Practitioner to a new level of depth, ease and impact. 
• Secure your space at our beautiful retreat in Costa Rica this Autumn. 6 days of sacred ceremony, moving you into the body, into the heart and through the emotional / historic blocks that have held you back. Prepare for a depth of connection you have never felt, in one of the most magical landscapes in the world. Be with us...

Sending love, wherever this finds you,

Ax

Transcript

0:02

what I would love people to know about yoga, any form of yoga, It's that breath leads the mind. So if your mind is out of control and it's causing you to suffer, when you start to control your breath, you will start to get some control over your mind. And when you start to get some control over your mind, yeah, life becomes a heaven rather than a hell.

Anthea: 0:53

welcome to Finding Your Way Home, the secrets to true alignment. I'm your host, Anthea Bell, movement teacher, mind body coach, and lifelong spiritual seeker. This is a podcast about the depth, weight, and profound healing power of connection between mind and body, spirit and soul, and from one human to another. Together with an incredible range of inspiring guests, we'll explore just what connection and alignment mean. How to get there in a world full of the temptation to conform, and how great challenge ultimately can lead to life changing transformation. Get ready for groundbreaking personal stories, conversational deep dives, and a toolkit of strategies to build not just your inner knowing, but your outer world. Let's dive in.

1:48

Welcome gorgeous listeners to this week's episode of finding your way home. I love my job because Every week, every half week, I get the opportunity to sit down not just with you that are listening, but with an insightful, inspiring, goosebump creating human, and I have one for ya. Her name is Laura. And we were just talking about the fact that this is not her only name. That she has a spiritual name because she is a kundalini practitioner and much more than that. Her spiritual name is Kiranjot. Laura, am I saying that right? Are, darling, yes you are, yeah, Kiranjot. I'd love for you to start us off with giving us a sense of where that name came from. Did you choose it? Was it given you? And what does it signify? Kiranjot. Ah, that's a good question. So I had been practicing Kundalini Yoga for 11 years and I was at the European Kundalini Yoga Festival in France. My teachers were there. My sister was there as well, in fact, and I thought it's about time. It's about time to take a spiritual name. And so I asked one of my teachers. if she would give me what we call a hukam. So that's where you go to the Gurdwara and you bow your head to the book and bear in mind that Kundalini Yoga has come through the Sikh tradition so you bow your head to their holy book and the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. And then they open the page and they take the first letter of that particular teaching. And you also very much look into the actual, the teaching as well, that the, the Siri Guru Granth Sahib falls upon. It's very, very significant. So the letter was K. My sister was given the name Kaval 9. She's not a practicing teacher, but it's interesting. It means the neutral mind. That is her big learning this lifetime. And I was given Kirinjot, which basically means ray of sun, sunlight. And Jot is to hold. So it's a reminder to me, I always like to work when I'm teaching. Or sharing Kundalini Yoga, that the body is a divine vessel and through movement, through mantra, through meditation, through our practice, really, we can really fill our bodies with light. And is that your learning in this lifetime? You mentioned that for your sister that was hers, this bringing of light, this infusion. Is that something that relative to the experiences you've had or you mentioned to me previous to the recording that there's some ancestral work that you feel as though you've been given the opportunity to progress and move the line through? Is the light aspect part of your purpose? Very much so, very much so. I have been quite open about this in the past. I have really struggled when I was much younger but a little bit more recently as well with depression. And particularly in my twenties. I found it very challenging to find a comfortable place within myself, within the world. And I really struggled with chronic depression. It was horrible, absolutely horrible. And I got to about 28, astrologically very well known, the Saturn return. And I was starting to wake up. I think as well, sometimes when we struggle, we get so frustrated with ourselves. We get so bored that that was really the catalyst. And I was like, I don't want to carry on like this, you know? And so a number of things happened. I stopped becoming so, we call it navel gazing, you know, when you're sort of, your world is imploding on, in, in on yourself. The pressure from outside just makes you sort of implode. And I started to, It sounds so simple and silly when I say it, but I started to start to contemplate the universe, rather than myself. It's all about me, my poor mental health, blah, blah. But bear in mind, that was over 20 years ago. So we don't talk about mental health like we do nowadays. That was a, you know, like, you know, it was literally last century. And so I started to think about, actually, I am a, A speck in the whole, you know, universe and, and, and, and time. And we talked about it now, just the miracle of actually taking on a human existence, the, the probability of it is so teeny tiny. And I guess that sort of helped wake me up. And I started seeking healing. I started with a little bit of shamanic healing with a very, very kind person. I wasn't Didn't really feel the benefit of the practice, but it felt very, very good to be doing something for myself. But it was his girlfriend who was a kundalini yoga teacher. And when at a point of real desperation I said to him, I can feel this depression happening again. Cause it would come in sort of big, slow, steady waves of about three months at a time. And it's almost like you're drowning. I feel like I was about to go under again. And he was like. Right. Julie's teaching a class and I get to her class and I, and I went and I threw myself into it and it was literally like somebody turned the lights on. And I think, you know, we can talk about it in, in now common parlance, like I was dissociated. I think I spent my whole childhood dissociated and feeling very, very, very disconnected It was through that experience of Kundalini Yoga that really I felt like I plugged myself back in and yeah, somebody threw, somebody threw the switch and the lights came back on and I was like, ah, and I had this awareness that actually the depression that I had wasn't actually mine. And it was actually something that I could, I describe it like a big overcoat. I could take it off. Didn't belong to me. Yeah, maybe it was, you know, family karma, intergenerational stuff, but it's like, you know, the first big heavy layer came off almost instantly in that class. And I, I just have taken that practice on and it's become my absolute foundation to, to keeping me happy and healthy. So I would adore just touching on a couple of those threads. First of all, thank you so much for sharing your experience, because I know, even for me, when I come to touch back into an aspect of my history that is challenging, and I have had the same as you, that I've had periods of chronic condition, chronic ism Even although we're used to doing it, and even although we do it in service, it is still a really brave thing to do, especially in broadcast, so I just want to really appreciate you on behalf of the audience that are listening who may not have the words to be able to describe that experience of going under. The heaviness of that cloud, I know, is It's really significant and the thing that I see again and again, whether people are experiencing a chronic emotional, physical experience like that, or they're purely in the physicality of chronic pain, is that it's a very disempowering state to be in, because you have absolutely no idea how to emerge from it. And the way that the wiring works, it's actually very difficult to find the motivation to do look for avenues out. So I like to think of that speck analogy also in relation to the people that recover because it is rare. It's actually rare to recover from that kind of condition and I adore that your way of recovering was through the realm of spirit. And there's something that you really brought up for me when you were talking about kundalini. I had a really vivid memory of my first kundalini class. I Experience with yoga, I've, I've, I've been practicing since I was 14 and I'm a grand old 37 now, which is still baby years in any sense, either physical or spiritual. But Kundalini I came to later, I came to it during my Saturn return, which was my crisis point also. And the thing that came up for me was the fire. It was a sense of there is nowhere to hide. Yeah. Mm hmm. Even though the practice was so gentle and it was almost as still as a bowl of water, I could feel that stillness in the practitioner. I could sense it's like radiating off her. And yet there was a fire in it that for me was very awakening. And I wonder, I'm curious just from a personal perspective, whether that's something that you recognize in your much greater experience with Kundalini. Was interesting that you mentioned this word stillness because I do a lot of that in, when I share in my classes. So for those of you who haven't done Kundalini before, there are a lot of moving, what I call moving meditations. And I love playing with polarity of movement and then stillness. Only this week did I come across a phrase from the Bible, which says, be still and know that you are God. And That is everything in a very, very busy world. That is everything in a very, very busy world. I couldn't count the number of people that come to me for coaching, or actually just reach out to me through social or email. Because they've come across the podcast and the thing that they express as the yearning is the stillness, is the peace. Rarely do they say joy or ease. Almost as though they haven't quite realized that that's available and you and I know that it really, really is, if you can access peace. Peace is the thing that people crave in a very, very busy world. And what that quote References is our innate ability to tap in. It is actually innate, the problem is that we've lost the regularity of channels to it. We've lost the rhythm in life that would have us regularly congregating with other people, almost as a A basic primordial right or ritual that we would commune not just with one another and ourselves but with something greater. It's like humility has kind of fallen right out of a hole in the base of the earth and we've sort of forgotten that there's more. There's always more and more and more and none of it requires you to operate right from the front of your ego mind. Mm hmm. And I lived that way for 20 years so I really empathize with. The fear that drives you to think that it is the case that you have to control and regulate everything about not just your experience But the experience of others around you. I get that, you know, and in fact that was almost my first learning in the practice. I, I recognized the, the wanting to control comes from a place of anxiety and What the practice taught me as I think yoga does any kind of yoga practice teaches you and it's beautiful because Things are revealed with every practice, the revelation, continual revelation of understanding of self, understanding of time. And I realized that it, nothing, not everything needed my involvement for it, for it to be resolved, for situations. The problems. I didn't have to micromanage life. I could actually take my hands off and let things unfold in their own sweet time, in their own sweet way. And that was my very first learning through the practice. I really hear that. And I'd love to, I'd love to pick into a nuance of what you're describing for the listeners. Because, fundamentally, what Laura, in her beautifully eloquent words, is capturing there is the quality of faith driven surrender. I'm saying faith driven because I think what can happen for people a lot of the time, and Laura, you might agree with that, Let me know if this resonates from the people that you work with and support. Is that when we think about surrender, we sort of think about surrender as a necessity, like oh god, I have to surrender because everything I've tried up until this point hasn't worked and I'm being battered by life and Okay, fine. This is my karmic This is my karmic retribution. I have to surrender and take my hands off the wheel because I'm ineffectual. Yes. And I really relate to that from a lot of my own experience, that there's a benefit. To being willing, through the battering, to surrender, to, to lease the control. Because control begets control, and emotionally speaking, the landscape that control creates is tightness and constriction, and when we're talking about the body, we're talking about contraction we're not allowing the system to ever be in a state of equilibrium or ease. But on a, on a deeper level, as far as, Getting our needs met, or living a deeply fulfilled human life. You know, it's an experience when you're in control of me versus the world. Me versus others. Me alone, a lot of the time. Or me having to control others. Still, it's me alone, right? Because I am the manipulator on this side. Most of this is happening completely unconsciously. So, you could see surrender from that vantage point. That you have to. What I found. is that in the nuanced concept that you're describing, there's almost a childlike hope that when I release the grip of my fingers, I am caught by the most benevolent hammock underneath me, that has its own rhythm, its own storyline, its own flow. And what that of course builds is a deep sense of being loved by the universe that you live within. We started, listeners, gorgeous humans on the other end of this, we started before the recording opened up. I asked Laura really honestly what would be really meaningful for you to talk about during this broadcast. And she said, I'd really love to talk about God. That's really meaningful for me. It's the conversation that doesn't happen enough, and it's where we all arrive at. And I disclosed to her that when I first went down the road toward the G O D word, I adopted the practices really diligently, and I found the word really hard, because of all of the concepts that I came into my adult experience having absorbed. The thing that gave me a greater ability to go with the flow of the universe and to feel that I was a part of, like you said, Laurie, that little microcosm, was yoga. Because when I learned the meaning of the word yoga as union, in its most basic attempt at a translation, there was something about the concept of me and divinity being one and the same, me and you being one and the same. Me being a very intricate part of this interweave, that was much more akin to what I knew in my being, in my body, to be true. I wonder, Laura, on the back of all of that, languaging from me, what comes up for you and what you'd love to share of your own experience. I think, and I appreciate, the word God is super triggering. In fact, there was a guy on one of the retreats that I ran in India earlier this year, and we were talking about his upbringing. And he was brought up by God bothering parents. And, and I was And I thought, I love that word, God bothering. So many people have been God bothered. I think our connection to God is deeply personal. And so many of us have been cut off at the knees. And I think, actually, it boils down to the word connection. Connection or disconnection. And I certainly know, when I started studying yoga, every book I read mentioned the word God. And I was getting quite annoyed about it. I went to a Catholic primary school and I was forced to go to Mass and, and I was the, I was pretty much the only non Catholic in my class. So everybody else was going off their confirmation and could eat the bread and drink the wine and, and I had to sit back in the pews and I had no idea what was going, nobody knew really what was going on, what to say, you know, and I, my joke is I got, All of the, all of the guilt and none of the religion you know, the beauty that can come through, through having a, a practice, essentially, religion is just another form of, of practice, of worship. And I think what, what's so beautiful about yoga, it is worship. It's worship through, and I, sorry, now I'm tangentializing, but I only notice the word, Spiritual, the other day, is spirit and ritual glued together. Spirit ritual. And I love creating rituals in my life, and I've really ritualized my practice. And I work with all the senses and all the elements. We light a candle, bring flowers, water, you know, prayer, stillness. and cleansing, you know, I think we need places where we can go and relieve ourselves of the negativity because society is such that we have to function, spiritual beings have to function in capitalist societies and whether you are a capitalist or not, we are all spiritual beings and that's a challenge. And it's some, some elements, all elements, some elements of our life are soul sucking. And I feel very, very, very fortunate that I have a, a job that is deeply fulfilling on, it fulfills me on a, on a soul level. You know, I'm good at teaching kundalini yoga. It's helpful. It's of service. You know, I get messages every single day. Oh my God, thank you so much. That was exactly what I needed. I feel so much better. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all that kind of stuff. And you mentioned earlier, it's really brave of me to share my story, but I want to share my story in case somebody is just as depressed as I was, and it's like absolutely at the end of their tether and does not know what to do when I hear about people who've killed themselves. You know, I think, Oh, I wish that just tried a little bit Kundalini yoga. That sounds simplistic, but honestly, it's such a trans such a potentially transformational process. And I recognize that there are people out there who are really struggling in life. And we are in extremely weird times. And we are individuated. and separated. And if anything that the pandemic taught us is that actually relationships are the most important things in our life. We need each other. We need each other and we need a way of coming together that does not have the doesn't have the leaning towards hierarchy or segregation or there's something very particular about coming into a space, whether it's a Kundalini class, whether it's a retreat, whether it's a circle of, of men or women, there's something very particular about coming into it with the commitment that you're there for a purpose that's greater than all of you. I. really felt that actually when we, when we met. And I noticed that especially for the people that I, that I work with, and I used to teach a lot of classes in movement, I don't as much at the moment because of having relocated as many times as I have. But there is a question mark in my mind around whether it's half and half that for the benefit that they receive, half of it is actually that they're in space with other people that are being regulated. Systemically regulated, as much as it is the exact physical movements that are being taught, you know. Community is everything. You know, I've actually, I've actually done a lot of training in African, West African ritual. And for them, the village, you know, that's how we balance each other out. That's the great thing about Kundalini. You can come in feeling too high, too manic, too panicked, you know, completely in your sympathetic nervous system and calm down. You can come feeling disconnected and mute and completely weirded out and, you know, You know, with, with not connected to your body and, and get connected to your body and get into, you know, yeah, to get, get back into regulation and connection and feeling like actually remember, it's not feeling it's remembering that we are all here for a purpose. I don't know what that purpose is. But my journey certainly has been healing myself. And of course that healing never ends, it's continual. But I am in, I'm feeling full enough that actually I have, the capacity to help hold space for others healing. And that's a beautiful thing. And obviously what you're doing with your podcasts and, you know, bringing people together who are working in the healing arts is also extremely gorgeous. So, yeah. Well, it's, it's needed and it's an utter privilege. And I know that you feel that too. And the thing that you are taking me back to, because we talked about it a little bit was that your healing also has a, let's say, an energetic spiritual ripple, not just to the people that you consciously coach that you consciously work with, it has a ripple in all of your ways of relating. In present time, in let's say ancestral time, you know, yes, we're working on ourselves, but because nothing is separate, we're also working up the chain, down the chain, outside ways. You know, it's where time and space become really grievy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. The seven generations forward, seven generations back, you know, your kids, if you've got them, your family members, you know, you know, the postman, whoever it is that you're coming into connection with. I really notice that as I walk around. Yeah, you know, people do, you become a bit like a magnet for people. Well, also because what you're describing is a living practice. It's a living practice. And I know that this is a conversation that happens as much in the yoga community as it does in the, you know, Pilates community, I mean, Pilates, as far as its original foundations, what most people understand it to mean now, that was my first movement training most people understand it now to be relative to engaging your glutes, activating your core, having a flat abdomen. It's what keeps all of the models of the USA really svelte, which is a great word. I love the tongue, that word, svelte. It's a good word, yeah, it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But actually, its origins is it was developed by a person jazzily titled Joseph Pilates, and his mantra was whole body health, and one of the key cogs of whole body health, similar to the yogic philosophy, where actually we only know one of the legs of the stool, in modern classes. Well, so movement was only a tiny part of it for him. Another huge part was sleep hygiene, another huge part was nature, another huge part was spiritual practice. Oh, I did not know that. It's a thing, you know, it is mind, body and soul. And I see a lot of wellness being body and mind. And of course that's important. Of course that's important. But it's through the body and the mind and the soul that makes the whole human. And the thing I would add to that, which is exactly what you're referencing, is that part of the reason for that goes back to what we were talking about in terms of control. So if you're living in a body that is working well because you are exerting an enormous amount of control over it in terms of the practices that you do, the foods you consume, the amount of liquid that you drink, etc. And if you have mental regulation by virtue of You know, purely cognitive or linguistic strategies, CBT, all of that kind of stuff. And that's not to discredit any of those disciplines. They're wonderful. But the amount of load you're walking around with from a stress perspective and the amount of individualistic control that you are having to apply in order that you feel safe. To be in the world and live a human existence, that is exhausting, and that is just as likely to lead you to burnout as is workaholism or a drinking career, right? It's just that one will happen faster than the other. When we bring in the soul realm, especially in a practice like Kundalini or in anything that has that aspect of higher purpose, higher connection, higher sense of being You're creating a sense of ease for the person on every level, including physiological, including cognitive, including emotional. And for me, that's where deep health comes. I think it's also awe and wonder. He's like, I did have a fairly challenging, you know, boring, like, childhood. And I think a part of practice of what I do is it's so much fun and you can play with it. And you can dance and drum and sing and do all these very, very primal things that make you feel very joyful. And And help also rebuild our curiosity about the world, you know, and notice like it wasn't until I had a child that I noticed that trees came into flower. I've been so busy, distracted otherwise. and rushing around, you know, probably looking at the pavement. And it wasn't until I took a, had a bit more time and space that I actually looked up and saw the beauty of the blossom and really took it in and started to notice Oh, that's the cycle of life where you have the flower and then you have the fruit and then the leaves go off and everything goes back into, you know, it goes, the, the wax and the wane of the world. Or this another wonderful word I came across fairly recently, spander, pulse of life. Oh, I like that. Oh, it's a good one, isn't it? That's a really good one. And yes. Yes. It's interesting. I want to come back to a point that you mentioned about surrender. And yes, sometimes people do get to the point where they're absolutely desperate and they're like, I don't know what else to do. So I just have to surrender. But yeah, it's, it's this watching and waiting. We're very impatient. We're not used to waiting. We get frustrated. We want to try and push and make things happen. And actually, sometimes you realize if you just chill out, you know, You know, back into your center, connect to your breath, calm down and let the flow of life bring you what you need. You know, it happens. Things come, things go, but it's what they call it flow state. You know, that's another, you know, way, way of, of putting things, you know? And yeah, I get it. It's not easy, particularly when everybody. People are reflected, you know, the things that we, we live in extremely materialistic society where everybody's, you know, doing this, doing that, having fabulous lives, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you think, I certainly sometimes have, you know, I'm nearly 50 and I, you know, look at my, look at my life's choices as you do when you're nearly 50. I think, yeah, you know, you start to reflect and think, well, actually, yeah, there, there, there are definitely some things that I want to call in. Yeah. But I do it with less anxiety now. I know it's coming. It's a very different space to be in, to know that something is coming because you've clarified what would be aligned or beautiful or supportive or expansive for you versus I want, I need, I have to have it now. It's very, very different. And again, I guess going back to the faith piece, sorry team, I feel like I'm harping on about it, but you know, in the I want, I need, I have to have it now, there really isn't very much faith or grace. It's become, again Very head driven and very me driven and very me versus the world driven. What, what was making me smile and what you were describing earlier is that I find also often with clients that they'll tell me about an incident that they're experiencing. And when they tell me about the experience, you know, the emphasis within the languaging will be I really need this outside thing to change in order that I'm okay, in order that I find my way back to stillness, in order that I am seen in the right way, or I receive my due level of recognition, let's say, or entitlement. And all of that is valid. But what's interesting is that the work that we do ends up being about the vessel ends up being okay well how is this landing for you and what could we let go of and what are the concepts that are here and in what ways are you, let's say, dancing to that dance. In what ways are you still believing that story that's being expressed on the outside. Where are you involved, where are you enmeshed in it, so that the drama continues so we keep feeding it oxygen. Because often I find that people don't even realize that they can step back in a way. Even if that's, I can leave a job, or I can leave a relationship, or I can wait. They actually don't know that that's a choice. Mm. Because it's too scary, it's too unfamiliar. What will inevitably happen is we'll do that session, they'll shift in that session, and they'll come back to me in a week or two weeks time, and they'll feel utterly different. And, if I ask them what the outside things have been, then they'll end up saying, Oh yeah, well actually this thing ended up working out completely differently to how I was expecting because X, Y, Z person shifted. And you were making me think of that when you were talking about this ability to just watch it all unfold. One of the phrases that I was introduced to ten years ago was, more will be revealed. More will be revealed. And actually my mentor, my spiritual mentor at the time, just used to say, I used to go to her with every problem under the sun. She'd be like, mm hmm. I hear you, well done for being honest. I want more to be revealed now! Trust in your, trust in the timing of your life is another good one. Yeah. Which is such a good reminder for all of us. I mean, those that heard Laura say she's approaching 50, you'd laugh if you saw her because it's not visible to the naked eye. But I imagine, perhaps similar to me, Laura, that your life hasn't followed the chronology, That a Western culture would have suggested it should. No, and that has been, that has been really mentally taxing, actually. And had caused me many years of feeling like an utter failure. You know, I'm a single parent. Yeah, I've never been married. I still rent. Da di da di da. So yeah, there's, there's part of me that thinks, oh my gosh, you know, I've made all the wrong decisions. Very little security, material security, but I have great health. I have raised an incredible child who's really comfortable in him, in himself, and life is really interesting. Would you say that comparison is the thief of joy? Abso fucking lutely. But, like I said, it's you do need Balls of steel it's so funny because if we were in Germany, everyone around us would be renting until they were 80. And having a child, not being married, being a yoga teacher, the things that you're describing would be praised and heralded and this is what was making me think of comparison. Yep. I just really struggle. You know, every time I open up my Instagram, it's like, Hey, make six figures, you know, or travel the world with your passive income and just like, you know, it's that is very, that is itself is very, you know, we are. Pulled around, which is why I think it's so, so important to have a practice that centers you and to have a practice that fills you with, let's call it light rather than God or full of love, something that makes you feel connected, something that makes you feel like actually you are wanted, you are very much needed in this Space and time and something where in the moment that you're in it, there is a sense of enoughness. Yeah, because actually everything is everything is exactly as it's meant to be. And it's all here. It's all here. There is no more need for anything else right in this moment. And that's what stillness gives. And that's part of where the Instagram thing becomes such a relevant conversation, because we know. You know, we know what that does to our neurotransmitter levels. We know what that does to our emotional processing. We know what that does to addiction. We know. We know that it is an addiction. And yet we're still so engaged in that. I find the conversations about money and abundance super fascinating and those that listen to this regularly you'll know that, you know, we've done a couple of really juicy deep dives into it with different experts that come from different perspectives. And I think the place that I've come to, at this stage, and Laura, I would love to know your take on all of this, is that what I want is a level of neutrality where I allow myself to match in my outsides, what feels like alignment in my insides, where I can take money with a lightness of touch and the lightness of being doesn't make it everything, but also doesn't make me nothing in what I am willing to say I am and I'm not allowed to have. So my edge with money has been around permission. It's been around what money equals. And it's been around really noticing my insecurities and blind spots as far as visibility and seeking financial stability, I guess. I noticed for me that there were a lot of blocks there, partly because, similar to you, I've had a lot of training in being deeply grateful for what you do receive and being willing to notice the freedom that the flexible lifestyle gives you, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And it took me a long time to realize that. Also underneath that was a lot of the self-love work that I hadn't ever done. Mm-Hmm. And a lot of the comparison work that I hadn't ever seen. That actually was making it harder for me to be honest with myself about the quality of my service and the exchange that was being indicated. And I still work with people for free, etc, etc. But I wonder what your take on the material now is, at this moment in time, in an ever evolving picture, given what we've talked about, about spirituality. What does money mean for you? Money for me is time. Time is money. Time is, time is all we have. We do not know if we're going to be waking up tomorrow. And I do have a certain amount of financial anxiety, particularly as a single mother, you know, in, in London, particularly after the government that we've been through. But it really boils down to quality of quality of life and how I spend my time and I'm really fortunate that I have. Very interesting clients that I work with and I have created a rhythm and a structure to my work that really suits me and my needs. Silly little, maybe it's not silly, I don't know why I call it silly. But you know, if I need to have a nap in the afternoon, I can, if I want to go for a walk, I can, so I have flexibility is absolutely key to me. If I need to take care of my son, I can, I am available as a, as a parent, I'm available to parent my son and that is huge in this, in this realm. Kids need their parents. You know, so I've managed, I feel like I have managed to do a lot of healing work simply by being available as a mother to, to my son. And that's been profound. That relationship has been obviously, you know, hugely profound. And I've learned so much from from that as, as a mother. And in terms of the bigger picture, again, it's like, who knows? I've been saying to myself the last couple of weeks, things can turn on a sixpence. I love that, it's a really old phrase, I think my granny used to say it. You just don't know. You just do not know what's around the corner. So I don't try not to worry. I'm not saying that I don't ever worry. I don't like worrying. It's not my natural, it's not my normal natural, it's not my baseline. I've come from depression, but I'm not saying that I've never had anxiety, but you know, I anxiety, you know, my anxiety level is quite low. And every time I've started to worry recently, I've really, I've sat at my altar and I've prayed on it and that has given me peace. That's given me a lot of peace. And this whole phrase, everything turns on a sixpence, has really come to the forefront in the last in the last couple of weeks. It's making me smile because A, grandmothers have come up more in conversation in the last week than ever before in my life. Oh wow. Which is fascinating. Mine used that phrase. She also said the one that I adore, which is, well, it's better than a slap in the face with a wet fish. Oh, yeah. Or a, or a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. That's something my mother says. Yeah. That's the one that I'm more familiar with, but the slap in the face with a wet fish. I've never heard anyone else say before. It's also interesting because that's very, very true. And I find in self development that, what can happen is that you have extended periods of time where it feels as though you're paddling madly under the water and nothing's happening on the surface. And then in a moment, the entire world turns on its head and the doors open. This might make you guys smile. I've had this knowing that I was going to India for about a year and a half, and it's been completely illogical because I have no conscious desire to go to India. I have a conscious desire to go to Japan, to go to Australia. There's lots of places that I really yearn to be in, but India I've just known that I was going. My grandmother grew up there. Oh, wow. Are you coming on retreat? Are you coming to go with me next year? I'm going to go this year. Are you? When are you going? In September. Oh, wow. I was completely out of the blue. Someone messaged me and said, someone's just dropped out on this experience. This person and I have only connected once and it's one of those, oh, okay, yeah, we, we need to know each other or we already know each other. It's odd kismet. She just. Reached out and said, do you want to come come amazing? Whereabouts you going? I don't know but I can look it up and let you know and for anyone listening. I'll put the link to Laura's experience next year also in the show notes so that you guys are all aware of it But I'm so filled with the joy of the surprise Oh, yeah, it's coming to the fore when I wasn't consciously expecting it, but knew that it would happen Yeah, big time, big time, and India's brilliant, I was, yeah, I was in India in March for, for nearly a month. I did two weeks in Goa. I did a panchakarma, so cleansing is a huge part of my spiritual practice, and I think, you know, I do a deep cleanse at least once a year. So if you, when you go to India, if you get a chance, do do a panchakarma. An Ayurvedic cleanse to anybody who's not, who's not sure what, what that is, you can do them for seven days, 14 days or 21 days. And I did, I only had time to do one for seven days before my retreat, and it was amazing. profound. I was quite surprised. I was really surprised at how, and it's sweet. You say, Oh, you died. You don't look nearly 50. And I put that down to the panchakarma because it's like oil everywhere. Like we were all glowing. It was brilliant. And yeah, then I went up north and had the most incredible adventure. Yeah. Festivals and meeting atheists and Buddhist monks. And yeah, it's all brilliant. Brilliant. Good for you. How long are you going for? So I'm going for eight days. There will be either a full Panchakarma or there'll be Ayurvedic treatments throughout. I haven't quite gathered the full itinerary yet, but Ayurveda, which has also been knocking at my door for two years, is part of that. And actually I had a close friend, my oldest friend, I've known her since I was six. She's very immersed in that world. And she's done several. She does them about once a year, the same as you. And she wants to describe to me in graphic detail, all of the things that happened inside and outside of your body. And I did find it amazing to hear. like where I was. where I did mine, you're going to have your breakfast and they'll go, right, okay, you're ready for your treatment, you know, and like you have breakfast and then they put a small tube up your bottom and then they'll pour like, you know, medicated oil in. You're just very used to just being, you know, yeah, sure. That's completely normal. Every time you have a meal. It's going to be great. You're going to receive me in the perfect form. It's quite tiring though. Just, just to be aware, you will need to rest a lot. If you do a full Panchakarma, yeah. So I've got I've got a really lovely schedule and it's, again, the timing couldn't be more perfect because I have that at the beginning of September. Then I fly home, then I have a week, and then I start my own, I'm leading a training this September. So I start that then from a place of having been really nourished and restored and, and cleansed and I, I can't wait to hold space in that experience. Thanks. And again, guys that are listening, I'll make sure that you have the links to all of these things that we're talking about. I'm going to ask Laura just now to run us through a little bit about ways that you can activate with her, both in the UK and also overseas. Laura, tell us, what is on your books? What can people get involved in? Oh, thank you, Anthea. Yeah, so I I teach every weekday morning, early morning so roll out of bed and 45 minute kundalini yoga classes. Like I said, if you haven't done kundalini yoga before, think of them like moving meditations. I love to have fun with the practice. I love to play all sorts of different music. There's very layered, so it's, it's a bit of physical practice. There'll be some chanting, there'll be some breathwork, there'll be some meditation, perhaps there might be a bit of gong. It's very, very diverse. So obviously I'm a bit biased, but I think it's such a great way to keep yourself in good shape as you age. Like I said, I'm nearly 50. So aging has, you know, I've started to really study aging and how to age well. And I, I really believe that Kundalini is this very complete practice. it's kept me very perky for the past 20 years. I do have some slots for one to ones, and I love working particularly with people who struggle with psychosis. I can also help people who are interested in developing a committed practice and perhaps working through something like depression or divorce, or I basically noticed that lots of people come to yoga when there are crossroads in their life. So if people are struggling, I can take you over the crossroads. And I also run fantastic international retreats. So, I go to Formentera in October. I'm running a women's retreat there and Venus retreat. And that's all about elemental embodiment. I'm really like working with the elements of. Water, fire, air and ether. I'm working through that as a process. I've got a psycho psychotherapist, an integrative psychotherapist coming to help me hold circle time. I've got an incredible dancer. And, yeah, we're going to have a whoop de doo time in Forum and Theatre. And then I also have a retreat in Goa as well next year. So for those of you who want a bit of winter sun and a bit of beach action and some sea, then, yeah, we're at the incredible pool. Asiana retreat center in Mandrem. Yeah, so check out my website kiranjot. com for all of those details. They're going to be such extraordinary experiences. I can't wait to hear about them from you. So I'm gonna liberate you in this life of freedom that you have. I'm going to liberate you to the rest of your day, but I would love to know if there's any final message that you would love to share either to your former self or and to the listeners, what is in your heart to say as a closing? Oh, I, I think what I would love people to know about yoga, any form of yoga, It's that breath leads the mind. So if your mind is out of control and it's causing you to suffer, when you start to control your breath, you will start to get some control over your mind. And when you start to get some control over your mind, yeah, life becomes a heaven rather than a hell. Heaven is here on earth. Why would you wait? Exactly. Exactly. Let's live our life to the full. In fullness from the side of the screen. Thank you so much for being with us and for everything that you so generously shared. I really appreciate the work that you do in the world. for listening, we adore you very much even those of you that I have not been in contact with, the love is very, very felt. Please let us know what you would love to hear more of, reach out and let us know how the episode landed, drop a rate, drop a review, basically get in touch because this is all about connection, this jazz of living, the podcast not excluded from that, and we will connect again for another episode. Oh, thank you so much for having me, Auntie. I really, really appreciate our conversation. Likewise, friend.

Anthea: 56:11

Gorgeous listeners. Thank you. So. So. much. For your ears. I hope. You enjoy today's. today's. episode. To find. More about our. Featured guests. Have a look in the show. Notes.