Cake Therapy
Cake Therapy is a heartwarming and uplifting podcast that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. Hosted by Dr. Altreisha Foster, the passionate baker, entrepreneur and advocate behind Cake Therapy, this podcast is a delightful blend of inspiring stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Each episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking.
Cake Therapy
A Story of Resilience: Jade Moore's Journey Through Art and Wellness
Ever felt like your passion has become a double-edged sword? Jade Moore shares her journey from the joy of baking with her mother to the brink of burnout in her thriving cake business. In this episode of the Cake Therapy Podcast, we uncover the highs and lows of Jade's career, including the unexpected viral moment that skyrocketed her to success and the intense pressures that nearly led her to walk away. Jade's story is one of resilience, showcasing how she navigated mental health struggles and found balance through therapy and personal growth.
You'll hear about the pivotal moments that shaped Jade's career, from starting her business at 18 to opening her own cake studio. While her cakes brought joy to many, the demands of the business took a toll on her mental health. Jade candidly discusses the challenges of maintaining a successful business while prioritizing personal well-being, and how she learned to set boundaries. This conversation is a raw and honest look at the sacrifices behind the sweet façade of cake artistry, highlighting the importance of authenticity and mental health in the industry.
But the story doesn't end there. Jade's journey of self-love and creative expression extends beyond the kitchen. Discover how she used her artistry to spread positivity through mood-boosting cakes and how she reignited her passion by connecting with loved ones. From woodworking to tattooing, Jade's creative pursuits have become a therapeutic outlet, helping her to find joy and balance in life. Her inspiring tale is a testament to the power of perseverance, adaptability, and the support of loved ones in overcoming life's challenges. Join us for an episode that will leave you motivated to embrace your creative passions and prioritize your well-being.
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Welcome to the Cake Therapy Podcast, a slice of joy and healing with your host, Dr Altricia Foster.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome back to the Cake Therapy Podcast. Your slice of joy and healing. Today's podcast comes to you from across the globe and she's one of my favorite artists and I'm going to speak to her as an artist right now, and you'll see why because she transcends cake and other artistic forms and other art forms, so I'm just going to call her the artist right now. So today's guest she's a baker, she's a tattoo artist, she has an amazing story and an amazing journey and I want to introduce you guys to Miss Jade from Ivy and Stone. We have Jade Moore. Say hello to our listeners, jade.
Speaker 3:Hello. Oh my goodness, that was so lovely of you to say I'm so thrilled to be here.
Speaker 2:It's an honor. Yeah, we are happy to have you on. You know, when we first thought of Take Therapy, the podcast, we thought of artists who can speak to young ladies, because I currently lead a foundation for girls who've been marginalized, who are going through traumas of their own, and I want to speak to them about art forms not just talk therapy, just other non-traditional art forms that speak to them or to help them work through their own trauma. And when I thought of that, I'm like goodness, I need to have Jade here. Yeah, I know, I knew I needed to have you here because you have an amazing story. I've watched your journey. I've watched your journey and I've I've had to be watching your journey to know that you would be ideal to be in this space. Yeah, thank you again for coming oh, thank you it's.
Speaker 3:I love the initiative that you're doing because, like cake, has been therapy for me for such a long time, so it makes absolute sense to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, thank you. So we are going to start off talking about cake, and I'm going to read to you a review that we found in True Bride. It says Jade is incredible, her cakes are amazing and she's worth every single cent. The quality of her work is not comparable to anyone else's. We found that on True Bride. Wow, someone by the name of Haley left that message for you.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness I know, but here's what I want to say to our listeners. With that rave review that Haley left for Jade, at the pinnacle of Jade's baking career, she had to walk away. She had to take a pause for a moment to steady herself. She's an artist and she's redirected her passion, so really, let's get into it. Jade, tell me, how are you doing? How are you doing? We've missed you on the gram.
Speaker 3:I've also missed the gram. There's parts of it that I've missed because, like, having a community on there was like so beautiful for me and that's the absolute best part, I think to come out of social media and like cake decorating for me with that community. But these days I'm doing really, really well. It's, um, very different for me to be in such a good headspace. Yeah, um, like, I've been consistently going to therapy. I have a new partner and he's beautiful and um, I'm finally, I think, like figuring it out, like I just turned 30 the other day and thank you.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I feel like I'm kind of settling into like this next phase of life where, um, I have figured out my priorities of what I want so very like with the business before it was very all-consuming, um, there was no social life, there was no anything. It was pretty much get up cake, go to bed, do it again, and that worked for that period of my life. But it can't work anymore because I will then lose the relationships that I have in my life. Like I've got friends who have just had kids and you know weddings are happening and this, that, and I need to prioritize my relationship and my dog and our family, um, so, yeah, it's uh, it's kind of exciting to kind of come back into this space with more clarity, yeah, of what I do and don't want um which has been really like refreshing to actually like go through that process and figure it out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and figure out what's the next step for Ivy and Stone slash me and my creativity in general, yes, yeah, but it's been, it's been good and I'm in a really good space now, which you know life changing and I took the break because I was so burnt out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and sometimes a break like that is needed, and I'm happy to hear that you're saying now that you're in a much better place, but then what I'm also hearing is that artist always an artist, right? Your story is so inspirational and I can't wait for us to kind of dive into that conversation, for our listeners to really see your heart and your soul in today's episode, because you've shown you showed us so much on Instagram. You showed your heart and your authentic spirit and your soul when it was up, when it was down, and I want our listeners to hear you, hear you this evening. So I love how baking you know it's such a heartfelt experience and it's something that you shared with your mom since you were four. Tell me, tell me about that, that journey, that relationship of baking yeah.
Speaker 3:I just remember starting with brownies it's it was almost every weekend like I always loved cooking and I always loved just doing things. So I was always fighting mom to like do the ironing as a four-year-old and like that's ridiculous, but I wanted to do it and so I think she then eventually started like leaning into obviously having the help in the kitchen or the fact I did take an interest in cooking and so, yeah, I just remember every weekend it was baking brownies and enjoying that and then, like it was always very nurtured um, I don't remember it ever being forced like you have to do this or anything. It was always just something I wanted to do and so mum would get the ingredients and help me do it. Obviously, because four is very young, um, yeah, um, but yeah, I just it's such an integral part of my, I think, journey in terms of when I relay my career or passion for anyone, it always comes back to being four years old making brownies, and that just continued. Like through school it was making cupcakes on the weekend, then it was doing this or making a cake and then figuring out these tarts and all that kind of stuff, and so I'm really lucky to have had a mum who was home a lot when we were kids and that cooked for us, um, and yeah, was happy to have the help of like a very keen child, um, the help of like a very keen child, um. So yeah, I was really fortunate and it's just something that always stuck with me. I don't remember ever not baking and it ever not being like the thing that I did.
Speaker 3:Um, like I would take what I did on the weekend to school on a Monday and be like, guys, I tried this new recipe. Or like I found a Martha Stewart one which I absolutely loved. It was like a graham cracker s'mores cupcake and it was so good and I was like, guys, you have to try this. Um, like I just was always getting new recipes and always watching cooking videos and always watching baking videos and it just kind of stuck with me for my entire life.
Speaker 3:It was never the intention really to go into cake decorating, I guess because I didn't see it as a career option. Um, I in school was like maybe I'll be a psychologist, maybe I go into law, like obviously go down the academic path, and then I just took a year off school and was like I just don't know if I want to do it enough. So I had my gap year and that's when I fell into baking as a full-time hobby, slash career path and, you know, never really looked back because it became a facility and a very safe space for me to exist in and something that I needed so let's talk about two things there.
Speaker 2:First I want to talk about how, how did you know? Baking with your mom help or not with that relationship? How was your relationship with your mom? The baking help to solidify that friendship, help with communication?
Speaker 3:um, I think it's been a lot of ups and downs with mom, so she's always been there, even in like the height of my career. When I'm late at the studio, like midnight or whatever, she'd be there bagging the cookies for me because I've got something else to decorate. So yeah, my mom is ride or die. She really really is. We might fight.
Speaker 3:And I think I wrote a caption on my Instagram a couple of years ago for her birthday.
Speaker 3:I was like we get along like a house on fire and sometimes we are the house on fire because it's just.
Speaker 3:It can be very dramatic, but also I know that at the core, she's there for me, so she's always got my back, she supports my decisions and, um, I think, yeah, ultimately, cooking has been how we've had that relationship as well.
Speaker 3:So she taught me how to cook dinner and then that's what I was doing for the family from like 12 or whatever, and it's always just been food has been something that I've taken an interest in and she's been able to show me, because she's a keen cook too yeah, um, so it's definitely, I think, strengthened us over the years, like it's especially the last few years, I'd say, like of stopping cakes and her understanding why and the necessity of stopping as well, um, and really just like me coming into my own. So it's a really beautiful relationship, as much as I get frustrated at her because you know that's life, um, but yeah, I'm really really grateful for her support and that has been constant throughout my entire life, whether I've noticed it or not, and she's always been such a champion of my cake career and my art, which is really cool.
Speaker 3:Like early on I remember she'd cry when she'd see one of them and I was like you need to go away now, like I can't have you crying, like this is weird, mum, no, move on. So she's always been, yeah, very supportive and the business and her helping within that when I've needed the extra hand has definitely helped solidify that, especially my mental health as well, and the journey that I've been on with that has really helped, um, solidify that relationship and knowing, and her learning through my experiences, of what mental health is like and kind of parameters that need to be put in place or whatever to make sure I'm okay and she's okay and you know all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see why she cries. Your cakes are amazing, right, you did mention, though, that cake, and I'm paraphrasing, because what I received from you in that statement is that cake, at one point, was actually feeding your soul, that you were really absolutely enjoying this, right. At what point, you said you took this gap year and you were also thinking of going down the path of academia, like so many of us. Right, we go to academia and here we are, like living our dreams through our hobbies. Yeah, when did you realize? When, in this gap year, did you realize that it was? It was cake. Was it? Cake was feeding my soul, my spirit?
Speaker 3:when, um, so, funnily enough, my first job out of school was working at a cake supply shop, so it was like where you get all your turntables and your palette knives and whatnot, and it was through working there that I then got some stock that like we couldn't sell.
Speaker 3:So I used the cake mix or whatever and all of the uh, the owners who ran it. One of them worked with a really prominent cake decorating studio here in Sydney, planet Cake at the time, and so she had all the skills on ganache and this and that and fondant and stuff that I was very interested in, and so I was in a very supportive environment of women who had already experienced a lot of this stuff and could guide me, and so it just very much became a hobby where I'm like, okay, this weekend I want to try and make a single tear cake with ganache and fondant and I want to try and get my sharp edges and then would do that and, like the first fondant cake that I properly did, I was so committed to doing quilting on the cake that I used a toothpick and individually pricked every like hole in the cake because I didn't have a quilting tool at the time.
Speaker 3:So I was like, no, I'm going to absolutely do it. And so I'm like there with my toothpick doing it, um, and received good feedback from the girls at work. And then I was like, okay, that's really cool, so how can I do something different next time? And it became a matter of like, okay, I'm gonna try and practice a two-tier cake, because I've never done that and it was very much just this hobby of how, like, what does it look like when I do this, how does it feel when I do this? And, um, also experimenting with different designs and seeing cakes and going I want to make something like that. Um, I had a lot of um, like inspirations around and I was like, that's, that's who I need to be, kind of thing. Um, and yeah, so it basically got to the point where people were, of course, being like, oh, my god, it's so good, you should make these for events, you, you should sell these to people, like all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:And as an 18 year old, I was not really thinking too much about how this could go or that it was the permanent career path, I guess. Um, but yeah, I think it was the November of that year that I registered the business with, like, the Australian government and I had my first business name, which was the Kate Cottage, which I'm so glad it's not anymore. Um, it would have been a very different journey for me, I think. Um, but yeah, because I knew at that point I wanted that name and I wanted to commit to it. So I was like, well, I need to be above board with it, make sure I can register my business name, which means I need to have an ABM. And then went from there and it was a matter of like okay, let's put them on Facebook. And then, um, I had a cake go viral on Facebook once. Um, it was a friend's thing, cake for a friend's 21st and it got, like, I think from memory, like 7,000 likes or 7,000 comments or like.
Speaker 3:It went crazy and I was like, oh, my god, um, this is wild. And from there it kind of went up and then it was like, okay, what kind of cakes do I want to do? Um? But yeah, it was very much an accident that I got into it very little intention, I suppose, about it becoming full-time and ultimately I'm so grateful that it did. But I just knew that I had a passion for it, that I wanted to keep pursuing and go. How can I get sharper?
Speaker 1:edges.
Speaker 3:How can I get this? How do I fix this?
Speaker 1:when this goes wrong.
Speaker 3:And then taking clients on who were willing to work with me in that early stage, like people who weren't friends of friends and just complete randoms, where you're making the first cake for some Susan who lives down the street you've never met, you know, and that's really crazy and for them to go well and them to like their cakes crazy, like it was so flattering and it always has been. Um, and yeah, it just helped continue that passion and so I had a like, had a job for the first couple years so I was always doing cakes on the side and then after I think like three years, it became the full-time gig yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So the positive feedback and, I would say, the audacity of Jade, right to now recognize how good she is, made her decide to open her own cake studio. Yeah, tell us about that. What age did you decide to own your own cake shop? Tell me about that, that leg of the journey fascinating.
Speaker 3:Well, I have always been someone who's not recognized my successes as they happen. Um, so I have been guided by my mum in certain phases of like, branching out, like it's no longer just at home, we need to actually get you a separate place, because there's just no space here at home anymore. So, um, sometimes it's just going, no, this is normal, and blah, blah, blah, and it's like, oh, it's actually going. No, this is normal, and blah, blah, blah, and it's like, oh, it's actually not. And we now have so many cake tiers that every surface in the house is, you know, taken up by it. My parents are like, you need to not be here anymore. So I found this beautiful studio space which, funnily enough, like it's all very.
Speaker 3:I feel like my journey is all very mental health based as well, in terms of like when my mental illness really kicked in in about 2015. It's when I ended up having to quit my job because I just couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack, and I didn't know that that's what was happening at the time. I just thought I always felt sick and nauseous and whatnot, and so I was like I just don't know what to do, and so that allowed me to do cakes from home full time At that point. It wasn't crazily busy, but it was consistent and it meant that I could focus on that and it still gave me something every day to focus on when I wasn't doing well. And then, as I was starting to progress with my mental health and like starting to go out of the home again, there was this new cafe locally to me that I started going to weekly maybe a couple times a week if I could and try and just be there and stay for an hour and then go home. And you know, I did my big chore for the day. And it was in going there that I came across this studio space that I saw. I think it was December of 2015, and I was like this is a gorgeous space. It was all white and it had white floorboards and white brick and had a little sink set up and this and that, and I was like this is so beautiful and there was an archway in it. And I was like this is so beautiful and there was an archway in it and I was like, oh my God, I love it. And so I think we just kind of looked at it, but it had just gotten a tenant in, I think the January of 2016. I was like that's fine, not a problem, so continued doing my cakes. They were blowing up.
Speaker 3:I was having, like I would, some weeks, have like 20 tears just on my own, which is a lot for someone who didn't fully know, like, their limits. Um, because I went from not being able to do a lot of work to kind of putting all of my emotional energy and anxious energy into working around the clock, because it was the only thing that kind of kept me going at that point where it's like it's giving me focus, it's giving me purpose, it's giving me distraction, it's like I might feel sick or I might feel anxious, but you know, let's not worry about that right now. Put on a tv show, decorate your cake, um, and so yeah. So it was just like starting to overrun the entire house. And then that studio just happened to be up again for lease in the December of 2016. And so mum inquired on my behalf and she went guarantor with me at that point and, yeah, we basically got the keys. I think it was like almost to the day. It was like I took a photo of the studio on the 6th of December 2015 and I got the keys the 5th of December 2016.
Speaker 3:It was like this manifested moment almost of like that has to be the one and somehow it all just kind of worked together where my business was then ready to leave the house more appropriately than it had been a year earlier, where every week is consistently orders yeah, four, five, maybe six orders, maybe more, you know, um and yeah.
Speaker 3:So that the push from mum because I was so scared to get out of home and I'm like I don't know this that the other and she's like no, no, you're doing it and it ended up being the best thing I could have done for the business and, like, I guess, for myself as well, in terms of another way of pushing my anxious limits that had been set by leaving the house.
Speaker 3:Every day when I was scared to leave the house, um and yeah, it was, uh, really cool. And then seeing it come to life, and over the years, there's photos of, like how the studio began to how it ended up, because I then ended up doing teaching, so I had more benches and more equipment and it was a lot more full and busy and I'd installed an oven and there was all this stuff, and it was really cool because it's like, definitely, that glow up. I was like here's this small little business that's starting, it's like the one that can, and then it's like here's how we've gotten you know, yeah, and a lot of it for me feels like I didn't really do anything, where I just feel very privileged in the sense that I happen to have a successful business. Um, and I got to enjoy making cakes for people and yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's something I still struggle with, to kind of recognize that I am the proponent of its success, because without me then it wouldn't exist. But I also put it down to the fact I'm like, oh well, I can just resonate with people differently or I don't know. Like just I can play it off very easily and I've always been impressed by people who go to uni. And then people who go to uni are like but you run your own business. I'm like, yeah, but that's not that impressive. I was like who go to uni are like but you run your own business. I'm like, yeah, but that's not that impressive. I was like you go to uni, you're using your brain.
Speaker 3:It's very clever, um, so it's always been a bit warped for me, um, but by having space from it in the last few years, and even like my new partner who came along six months ago and telling him kind of the story of my business, he's like this is phenomenal, um, and he's like you were in, like my cakes were in. What was it? Vogue Bridal and I've won some cake awards and just the followers that I was able to amass with no marketing at all. You know, like all this stuff that he's really good at highlighting the successes that I've had, which is helping me to more, so come around to it and go. Okay, yes, I did do something semi-impressive of course absolutely.
Speaker 2:And I do understand imposter syndrome right, because I do come out I. I went to uni, you know I'm a vaccine scientist, but no, now I'm baking and now I'm being purposeful baking, and I'm.
Speaker 2:I want to tell you that you did it. It's you, it's you, it's you. Jade, like you, are ivy and stone. There's no ivy and stone without you. You are it, thank you, yeah, you are definitely it. So tell me, though, you've amassed thousands, hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram just from your cakes. You mentioned that you've been published, right? Everyone knows Jade, everyone knows Ivy and Stone. I would like to ask you about running this business, because this cake business is really not an easy feat. It's not an easy thing to do, no, how would you describe your personal entrepreneur journey? What has been some of the challenges for you?
Speaker 3:um. So I guess, to summarize it as a whole, I would say it was all consuming. Sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes that was a very bad thing, um, but the momentum, that kind of picked up, it just became it. I think it's also that very much you're not working on the business because you're so in the business, yeah, because I was the one doing the emails, making the cakes, delivering the cakes, like all of that. There was no time to stop and have that perspective like whoa, look at where we're going. There wasn't really even like I've mentioned it before, I think, in other interviews about it kind of like it became bigger than I ever thought it could have and probably bigger than I ever would have dreamed for it to become. Yeah, so that to me is massive and surreal and I'm like I don't really understand it, but I'm super, super grateful, um, but yeah, sorry I forgot the question.
Speaker 2:I I was. I just wanted to know, like, what are some of the challenges of you know the challenges?
Speaker 3:Look, yes, like I said, it was all consuming. So a lot of the challenges are losing, like or not prioritising your life outside of work and losing time with friends and family and like. For me, part of that was mental health, but part of it was also my schedule. Like Fridays, friday nights. You know you've got most of your deliveries on a Saturday, so there's no way you're going out on a Friday night because you've got three wedding cakes to finish and they always take longer than you expect them to Cause you're like yeah, no, it'll take me like an hour to paint this. It's like, no, three hours later you're just done, like you know, and it just became very usual to miss out.
Speaker 3:And I think I'm realizing that more and more at my age where I'm like there's such a level of FOMO I have for, like my twenties, being taken up a lot by mental illness and business. I think had it been one or the other, I could forgive it a little bit. But there's moments nowadays where I'm like I haven't done anything in my life. It's like, well, I have. I've just had a different path to other people, like not many people started a business at 18 and had it become massively successful to the point that I'm still relevant after like three years off, um, which I think is crazy, absolutely insane. Um, yeah, it's something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I said, my partner and I talk about um, we're just going through some marketing stuff at the moment and for him it's like yeah, you're still relevant. You haven't even like I'm not as relevant, obviously, but I was like there's still such a name recognition, um, which is crazy, and even to the point that. So I moved back home with my parents um July of last year, after I went through a breakup, and just my local town that I live in someone recognized me from Instagram and she was like and how are you doing? Like? She's like I was such a big fan of your cakes and this that the other. And she's like oh my god, and I just wanted to check in like, how are you?
Speaker 3:yeah, and I was just like, oh my god, like I haven't really showed my face on Instagram for three years or something. It's been so haphazard and yet this person still recognised me and it was able to open a dialogue of how are you actually doing? Are you okay these days? Because people were so aware of my challenges. Yeah, and it also then allows me to come back and say the same going like and how are you and they feel safe to talk about their mental health?
Speaker 3:or you know, open up about that stuff and I think that's the best thing that's ever come from. This is people recognizing me and being like, oh my god, I know like I also have anxiety or whatever, but yeah, that relevance is insane to me and, um, yeah, so that's definitely not a challenge, so I've completely gone down the wrong path here but um losing too much of yourself to your business, I think is really hard and um not fully having the time to work on it, but I think, yeah, a massive part is just kind of becoming the business, no longer being your own person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like, oh, like every event I go, oh, and you're the one who makes cakes. Yes, I do. Yes, like that's what people know me for. Consistently, I'm like, oh, are you the one that does this? It's like, yes, I am, and then it's all about that. So you do lose or I did lose a lot of my life to cake, and that was kind of like the way I see it, that's the way it had to be, um, for my personal survival, and it also just became the most therapeutic way for me to express myself. Like. The decorating was always obviously the favorite part, and the longer I went into the business and the more people trusted me to do my own thing, it became even better you know um, yeah, yeah, really really cool.
Speaker 2:So you know what? What I? Well, I, I'm a fan, right, and what I love is not just relevance, jade, it's impact. It's impact that you've made because it's impact, because when you haven't posted for a year and a half, jade shows up, everybody gets excited. Jade shows up, everybody gets excited. Because everyone wants to know one, how are you doing? And two, when are you coming back? Right, I know Exactly.
Speaker 2:So I think everyone's like really rooting for you because of the impact that you've made in the industry itself and then because you were so authentic on the space, you were willing, you were so good at what you do, you are so good at what you do, but yet you are able to show up as you, as your authentic self. And you showed up as your authentic self in an era when people were beginning to recognize that mental health is something that you need to take stock of. The message was becoming loud and clear to everyone that, listen, you need to take stock of your own personal mental health and Jade is experiencing it, and Jade is saying you need to do it. It you speak so openly about your personal struggles of mental health on instagram, some of us would cower right.
Speaker 2:Some of us are afraid to be to be as open about our experiences absolutely yeah, the thing about what I why I love is that you didn't glorify this, you didn't idealize this. You weren't even a victim to this thing. Talk to us and our listeners. At what age did you discover that you were having mental health challenges, and how did cake exacerbate that?
Speaker 3:So I was 21 when it kind of came to be what I call a full-time job of being so anxious, um, where it's like life completely changed and there was no it the way I kind of shifted my life at that point.
Speaker 3:Or there's like the two areas there's the before mental illness and then the post-mental illness um because for me it was such a drastic change it was day and night just couldn't leave the house anymore, and it was something that at that point I didn't know a lot about. Like I, looking back over the years, absolutely know I've been anxious my entire life and have had moments of OCD or you know experiences, all that stuff, but it's never been as problematic as it became, like it wasn't disruptive to my every day or whatever it's, just it would have its moments for a week or so and then it would go away and life would resume and yeah. So it becoming a full-time thing was difficult, and then was going to the doctor for a whole bunch of things because I'm like, am I just like sick all the time? What's going on? I don't know why I can't leave the house, like, oh, my tummy hurts and all this kind of stuff. And it wasn't until I think one of my mom's friends was like I think it's anxiety. I was like, okay, and what is anxiety? Um, not really knowing a lot about it, and I think that's kind of what emboldened me, emboldened me to talk about it as well. Yeah, because I also wasn't aware there was such a stigma around it. So it was this really interesting thing for me. I'd run into like one of my sister's friends at the shops. I'm like, oh, how are you doing? I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing well, I've got a lot of anxiety and I didn't realize that that's abnormal, like you'd be like that. That's something that most people hide. In my head. It's just a meant like a medical thing that at that point was assuming would go away, where it's like, oh, it's the season right now and with some treatment, blah, blah, blah, I'll be fixed of that, um, so yeah, it's just something I was always open about for some reason, and absolutely not having any stigma around it or not realising that that existed, I think is what helped me push the boundaries of talking about it.
Speaker 3:The lack of sleep in the business definitely exacerbates mental health struggles. Yeah, exacerbates mental health struggles, which is why these days, I'm so big on advocating for downtime and for not letting the business kind of rule your life. Because, as much as I like to think lack of sleep is not impactful, it's massively impactful and even when I was working in a cafe last year, early mornings, mornings for me like I just can't do it consistently without absolutely losing my mind, um, or just becoming more depressed and more anxious or more easily triggered and stuff like that. So as much as it did hinder in that instance, it was definitely the saving grace and the thing that pulled me through all of my mental health struggles. Um, or majority of them. It contributed, of course, but at that time there was definitely more, um more positives to come out of it, um, so I'm really fortunate in that sense. Sorry notifications um, um yeah, and then it just became I was very aware, like when it was starting for me.
Speaker 3:I remember looking at Sweetbakes um and I was like, oh my god, her work is perfect and I love her stuff and she was so lucky about this stuff. And I was like, oh my god, blah, blah, blah. And then I realized I was idolizing her and thinking everything was perfect. And then I also had to kind of step back and go. I have a significant following at that point which is maybe in the tens of thousands or maybe not even that much. But I was like there will be people who are looking at me thinking everything's perfect. Look at her work, it's gorgeous. I'm never going to be like that blah blah. And in my head that just couldn't work. I was like I can't have people thinking that my life is all roses and sunshine and I'm producing beautiful cakes. It's like no, no, he's the beautiful cake, but he's also the mess that's going on in the background.
Speaker 3:That I needed to be aware of, otherwise I'm being fraudulent. And it then just became so much, I guess, a part of my brand. But it was also not ever trying to sell anxiety or use it as a brand. It just became a part of my honesty because I couldn't lie to people like I to this day I can't lie to people Like just don't do it, I'm too honest and I don't know how to fake. Things are good when they're not good.
Speaker 3:And having that opportunity to be like look at this gorgeous cake and then I love it. And here's actually the story behind what happened when I was decorating it, I remember having like five panic attacks through this one. Or you know, delivering this one was exhausting for me and you know it's just, it was just as honest as it needed to be and the only way I kind of knew how to do it and I knew there was a lot of shame. I had around my own personal illnesses in my brain, not knowing completely what was going on with my OCD and knowing that it was OCD and thinking it was something else, or you know all this stuff and I'm like, if I'm ashamed, like other people are going to be ashamed of theirs and it's like you can't know what's going on unless people talk about it either.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 3:It took me, I think, about two and a half years to figure out the kind of OCD that I had, and when I discovered what it was, just through some online article that I read, I just burst into tears and I was like, oh my God, this is what's wrong with me. I didn't know that this was a thing and it was, yeah, insane.
Speaker 3:So I'm like, well, that's what I need to be for other people, because it's like if you don't know it exists, you don't know that you're sick, yeah, and vomiting and actually knowing like emetophobia is a thing. And then people would message me online, be like, oh my god, this is what I have. So it was eye-opening for everyone and it just became easier to talk about it because I know it was helping.
Speaker 3:Yeah and it became a bit of a coping mechanism for me to talk about it, but it was also very much I want to create that safe space for other people to talk about it. Like also being highly aware that when you're a sole trader in like a cake decorating industry, you're on your own a lot of the time, so your brain goes constantly and we don't have the support network of being able to talk to our co-workers or bounce off ideas. Like you're alone for so long that I'm like you need to, like we need to heavily focus on the idea of a community and seeing that and finding that somewhere, even if that has to be on an Instagram, you know yeah, um, I think it's courageous, um, I think it's it's noble.
Speaker 2:And here why I'm going to say it's noble Because you could have easily shown the Instagram side, because everybody shows the best version of what's going on, saw that there was a need to be able to be open and honest, because you recognized your influence right we were a cake influencer at the time and there were so many other people who were looking up to you that you need. You knew then you had to use this platform to shine some light on what's going on. So kudos to you.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about your mood boosting kicks. Tell me about you know, with the positive affirmations. Where did that come from? What were the ideas behind that?
Speaker 3:It was so long ago now. I think it was just those random affirmations you'd maybe see on Instagram in like a post where it's like you look good today and it's like, oh cool, that's really sweet. But like, put that on a cake, like it's not.
Speaker 3:It was a fun version of a cake, fun for me to experiment and then also put out encouraging messages in the medium that I like make and and use and it became a really cool thing for a while, where it's like, yeah, like you are magic, um, and I think it was for me to like I could recognize that other people are these amazing human beings who deserve the best in life, but could never recognize that in myself, and that it's like, no, no, I'm the sacrificial lamb. I'll take the burden for everyone. They need to have a better life like they deserve it, and for some reason, in my perspective, I didn't deserve it. Um, and making those cakes was at least helpful in a sense, to see it from my perspective. But then to also again, it's that like championing others.
Speaker 3:It's like you're going through a shit time, but like here's a really cute cake that's actually like yum, and also you are magic. You are like this good human, like the world is better for you, and I think trying to break through in that sense as well, where I know how bad depression can be, where you're like, oh, I don't really, people don't really need me here. It's like, yeah, but like we do, and your presence will be missed, whether you think it or not, and we need to make you see that and realize that, make you see that and realize that, um, and you know who doesn't love an encouraging cake?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, take us to that place where jade feels like others deserve words of affirmation and jade doesn't like. Where is that coming from?
Speaker 3:I. It's something I still struggle with sometimes, like I talk to my therapist about it and, um, I don't always know why, um, that I can be that harsh on myself, but I've always been a very strong critic of myself from, I think, the get-go, which is why I can get good at a craft, because I'm like no, no, you need to do better here's how you do better try it again.
Speaker 3:You need to do better, and that never came from my parents. Neither of them really cared if I was, you know, successful or anything. Um, but it very much, I think, just became part of it might be deflection. It became easier to focus on other people and go no, you absolutely deserve to be here. People absolutely enjoy your presence. You need to be here. The world is better for you. Like everybody, and even just breaking it down to like the microcosm of like, every single human, I believe, has a purpose, or to the point that you remove one cog in the system, like that doesn't affect no one. That affects people, and in so many different ways, whether that person realizes it or not. Not. Um, and yeah, so I think very much the deflection of making sure people see that, because I know I couldn't see it at that point, but I'm like, but you need to know that that's like, like you're necessary to the ecosystem.
Speaker 3:You know, and people are better for having you here. So I'd say at this point, deflection is a big one and I'm slowly over the last couple of years like really working through my depression with my therapist and especially like how impactful it was through COVID obviously being such a rough time with all the lockdowns and everything and so many mental health challenges that came up because of that, like slowly working through it and going no, no, like I do deserve to be happy, I do deserve to be loved, and like, like, why not me?
Speaker 3:why not me? I can't, I can't give a great reason for it to not be me. Um, you know, like it's like what, not me? Like I mean, it's like what, not me because I don't like me. It's like, yeah, but that doesn't matter, this doesn't matter at all.
Speaker 1:Other people beg to differ.
Speaker 3:Other people like me, like I have friends for a reason, like I've, there's something that I provide. That's good. And I think, yeah, especially getting older and getting out of a bit of a shitty relationship last year and getting into a really good one now with someone who's also very open about their mental health, who also goes to therapy, who's also been through his shit, it's like, oh, actually we kind of do deserve to be happy, like we've gone through enough, that like why can't life just be slightly easier? Why can't life just be slightly easier? And nowadays especially, I think, getting to that position in my life, like I look back at the really depressed Jade who was suicidal and it's like, well, she's finally happy.
Speaker 3:Like you're in the worst despair of your life, thinking nothing's ever going to change. You're always going to be stuck and, of course, it's not not perfect my life now at all. But there have been so many changes and even in like small ways, yeah, that you maybe don't even recognize them helping you. But there have been, yeah, so many changes that I can now literally walk around these days and like like, yeah, I'm happy. And never, ever thought that was going to happen, ever I thought that was impossible and some days I'm still very nihilistic and very existential, because that's who I am. But meds are really helpful and having good people, good people in your life, around you who let you be you and you, you know. As much as I can resent being alive, sometimes as a human. Um, there's a lot that we can do like in amongst all the day-to-day chores and things that you have to do.
Speaker 3:You can also make fun, like you. There's a lot out there, and for me, that's creating through different mediums as well, like I love painting and drawing, and at the moment I'm exploring my woodworking phase.
Speaker 3:Oh you sure, I've got all my. I've got all my like, I've got my jigsaw, I've got my drill, I've got a sander, I've got all this stuff, yeah, so when I was with my ex, I made a dining table for us because I was like, well, we can't find the one that we like, so I'm just going to make a dining table. Um, very random, but I learned that I really like woodworking. So I'm in the middle of making for one of my partner's friends a um, cornhole boards. Okay, cornhole like regulation size cornhole, um. So I'm in the process of doing that, like I have to make a frame and I've had to do this and do that. I was like, wow, I'm learning.
Speaker 3:Um, and then it also sparks all my creative juices, because talking with my partner the other day, like learning different mediums helps me create different cakes and go, oh, I can do this with, like chiprock, or I can do this with wood, or I can do this with whatever, can I do that with fondant or ganache or like like, how can I express this? Like painting on cakes became a very cool thing for me because I just love painting. So you know, why not do it on an edible canvas? So yeah it just. I'm in such a good place now where every day is not the chore it used to be, yeah, and some days I have my lows, absolutely like especially. I find it to be quite um linked with my hormones.
Speaker 3:So pre or post period is very much when I'm in my lows um but it's very much trying to take every day at face value, like today was pretty shit and that's okay. I can't figure out why my mood's not good, can't figure out why I'm such a negative, nelly, or why I'm just overreacting about something. Hopefully it's just today, and then tomorrow we try again and then it's yeah, trying to just do the one day at a time thing. And you know, you do get there.
Speaker 3:I am very much a strong advocate for medication as well. As someone who resisted it for such a long time. My life has absolutely changed through being on it. Like I never could have gone out dating and meeting people and I never could have. There's just so much I wouldn't have been able to do that. Nowadays I do like very small things. That used to be very difficult for me, but it's no longer. There's no second guessing, there's no anxiety to come around that choice that I made, you know, um, it's just yeah, it's so good. And therapy, obviously, therapy, yeah and proud of that journey.
Speaker 2:I'm proud of that journey and I'm proud that you're willing to walk through it. We've recognized that you needed it to be able to be your best selves, right, and I hope that you eventually get to a place where you are convicted. You know that Jade is Ivy and Stone. She is the backbone of it all and she's good at all of these things. She has art and she's using it to work through everything that she's going through and has been through. And I want to be a visionary. You know, from a fan and I think I've mentioned fan like maybe four or five times, because I really am a fan of your work- One of the friends I met through caking.
Speaker 2:She's like well, I started as a fan and now we just hang out and um, the, the women and the bakers you influence, um, I would say it's it's. It's a huge responsibility that's placed on your shoulder because of what you represent in the space to them. You've closed the curtain on cakes for now. Yes, for now. I do believe it's for now, because I see you peek out every now and again when you're baking for your friends and your family. So to me it's you only bake when it feels right for you and I get it that. That's how you actually kind of reconnect with your art this side of the world. What was the moment when you knew for sure that you needed to make this shift to only bake when you feel like? Was it when you felt like, okay, damn is breaking, I, I can't leave the house, I'm overworked, like, talk to me. Like when was that moment when you decide, okay, I still love baking, but I'm gone? Peace out.
Speaker 3:So it was in 2019. I know when I was very overwhelmed, like my mom was in hospital at that point, recovering from a double knee replacement, and I was super busy. I think I just started running classes and doing orders and all this kind of stuff and I had been umming and ahhing for a little while about, like, do I creatively want to keep doing this? Or even not just creatively, but academically like my brain was looking for something else, or just I needed something. And at that point as well, my physical body was ailing, like I'd had stress fractures in my spine, um, in 2019, and that then led to bulging discs in 2020.
Speaker 3:Um, that like, physically, I couldn't keep doing it and emotionally, that was taking a toll on me as well, and I just knew I didn't have the enjoyment that I used to have. So when you're putting 90 hours of work in a week, that's a lot for one person, yeah. And if you're not really enjoying any part of the process and it's all feeling like a chore, then it's like, well, it doesn't really feel like it's for you anymore, does it? Um? And I know that I had to make sure I wasn't continuing to do it because I had a following and felt like people expected it of me.
Speaker 3:Um, and I knew that I had to put myself first in that instance because I'm like I just don't want to do this anymore because I've lost so much of my life. That was the year that I started going on medication and started having a life outside of cakes, and then just going like this is so much and I can't maintain this. Physically, my body's saying no and I know I'm getting to a point where, if I keep going, I'm going to hate this industry and resent it. And with the work I had to do through COVID, I almost got to that point where I'm like I really really fucking hate this. Um, a lot of that is chronic pain and a lot of that is because you know, what else do you do in a pandemic like it's?
Speaker 3:it's kind of hard to figure out other things like you're not going to get a job anywhere else, are you? So, um, there was, yeah, a lot of uh, just like heartache around having to do it. I was just like I just can't keep this up, so definitely took my break once I finished all of my orders. I think it was 2021. I fully stopped, yeah, and I don't think I really made any cakes until last year, so it was 2023.
Speaker 3:At no point in that break did I miss it and I like didn't miss making cakes, didn't like anything. It was really crazy. I just know I really needed a massive separation from it because I've been such a part of it for such a long time that I was like I need to just not look at any of it. At that point I was very much like let's sell the name, let's change the name, let's get rid of all the tools, let's get rid of all this stuff. I never want to borrow it again and like I've got all my cake and stuff there in the corner that's like piled up and a lot over here as well, and I've got stuff in storage. So I got rid of some stuff, but not all of it, and I'm glad that, like my laziness and getting rid of it paid off because, um, I'm at this point now where, yeah, I'm making it for friends and I also knew that I would eventually, like I was always planning on keeping enough of everything so that when my best friends get married, I can make their wedding cake, because I know I'd be like so jealous if I didn't. I'd be like no, no, you can't have anybody else, it has to be me. I don't care like it has to be me and my friends are lovely enough and love me enough that they're like but you hate making cakes, like we don't want to do that to you and I'm like, yes, but I love you more than I hate making cakes. Okay, so I was like I have to do it and so, yeah, that's actually been really helpful in the last little while.
Speaker 3:So, last year, for my friend's like 30th and then her baby shower, my sister's 30th um, even like my 30th, this year, I made a cake, which is crazy. And, um, my boyfriend's birthday last year, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna make you a cake because I love you, like it's, it's what I do. Yeah, and it's in those instances where you kind of come back to like, okay, I do enjoy doing this. I love having creative freedom and I like experimenting with different things. So a friend of mine loves buttercream and I typically hate working with it, but she's like, but it tastes, yum, I'm like well, I love you, so you get buttercream.
Speaker 3:Um, so then, experimenting with different styles of doing that, and do I enjoy doing that? And what parts of making cakes do I enjoy and what don't I? Um, and it's been really helped to kind of discern parts of it I'm willing to do again and parts that I'm like no, no, that's a hard boundary for me. Yeah, but yeah, to be able to partake in my friends' events like it's so cool, I'm always so grateful. It's, the burden of making a cake doesn't really exist like it used to and it's like no, no, no, I'm happy to do this for you. I know it, I can do it.
Speaker 3:Here's the thing you know um so it's been really good to kind of get the juices flowing again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, and really recognize like, oh, maybe I can do this with cake and like seeing stuff kind of being on the precipice of the industry, like I look at it here and there, but I don't really pay too much attention to it, or have it for the last little while, for obvious reasons, just trying to get out of it. Yeah, um, but, and also looking at other forms of art I find to be super helpful, because that's how I work best is to kind of translate different things onto it as opposed to like oh, that's the trend, let's make that happen. It's like no, no, like we're going to do something else. Yeah, yeah, it's been really nice. So, like this podcast kind of came at the right time as well, where I'm actually getting back into it, yeah, I'm figuring out whether I'm taking orders, parts of the job that I like, products again, but ultimately having a space online, like we've talked about. I still have one with a significant following and I really want to get back to mental health focus as well.
Speaker 2:I can tell they're. They're waiting.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know that's the thing I get dms. And when I make my random pop-ups, people like oh my god, I miss your cakes, or you know what are you like? When are you coming back? And for a long time I didn't think I would come back, but I'm now at the point where I'm like oh, yeah. I think I will, but it will be very different to how it used to be.
Speaker 3:If I'm taking orders, it will be very exclusive, and I think I'll also start offering other forms of art you know, okay, like whether whether that's tattooing or whether that's you know okay, like whether, whether that's tattooing or whether that's, um, you know, commission, commission artworks, yeah, woodworking, who knows um trying to figure out how to have a creative life while also, I guess, providing for others and then, also enough of the relevant position online to really focus on mental health and like it's just so important to me.
Speaker 3:I love the community that I had and, like I got a message from my cousin's husband the other day being like oh, I'm talking to like a local caker they're like three hours away and she mentioned how much she loved your cakes and like how much of an inspiration you were to her starting her business.
Speaker 3:And it's just like, oh my god, like yes, all these years on, there's still these connections and random moments of like, oh, this person knows you and is grateful, like for your cake journey because that helped their cake journey or whatever. So, yeah, I really would love to somehow get back into the online mental health community and just kind of catch up with people, because there's so many people that I know through the industry or through just talking about mental health where you have enough like dm chats online, yeah, or you know all this stuff and it's really cool. And even to this day on my personal instagram, there's people who message from my cake account or like who followed my cake account, who now follow me and they've consistently been there for six years, maybe longer where it's like I know that person. I know, that person.
Speaker 3:Oh, they're always super supportive, like they're still here.
Speaker 2:So let me, let me say, as we're winding down, Jade, at the top of this conversation, I mentioned to you the Cake Therapy Foundation, where I'm really doing this purpose baking for girls. I am asking you to speak to the girl. Speak to the girl who hears Jade at this moment, this moment, a who's going through some shit and and doesn't know what to do, and then speak to the girl who wants to start a business at 21.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, in this moment, yeah um, coming from my perspective these days, it can kind of be the same for both aspects of the girl who's struggling and the girl who wants to start at 21. Like know what you want, know your boundaries. And like, look after yourself first in the process, because everything that you do depends on you. Um, if you're not there, the business doesn't run. You know that simple um. And yeah, if you're there, your friends don't have you anymore.
Speaker 3:Like that kind of stuff, the mental health struggles. It's very much figuring out what you want and how to put yourself first, because something that I've learned over and over again in this industry is that people will break themselves to make the cakes. You know that people will break themselves to make the cakes. You know like a friend of mine was in hospital, had to come home, finish her cake, dropped it off and went straight back to hospital and I was like it's so baffling to me, like she had appendicitis so her appendix could have burst. Like it's like these things that happen. Or when I was talking about my back injury and when I had surgery, there were people who were like yes, um, like I have the same thing. Or you've inspired me to go get my shoulder looked at or like that kind of stuff it's.
Speaker 3:You have to realize your importance, that everything depends on you, which means you need to be well, you need to be looking after you first, um, put those small self-care things in place. Take the extra afternoon you know schedule in times, like when you're running your business, to have a week off, depending on how busy you are like I would plan that pretty much annually and be like, cool, I'm gonna take a week here. I'm gonna take a week here, um, because otherwise you'll be fully booked and you'll never get a break, um, and that's just not good for you. And I think prioritize doing things that make you happy, that aren't your career either, and try not to monetize them. You know, yeah, just do a cross stitch for fun, because they're fun, like you know, um, it's. Yeah, I think very much, just recognize your importance yeah, recognizing your importance.
Speaker 2:What a message from jade. What a message from the jade of ivy and Stone. Thank you. Before you go, jade, I personally want to say to you that I'm extremely happy. I was extremely happy when my producer said that you said yes, I'm extremely happy that you have been able to be so open with us, so candid with us in this conversation today. Of course, open with us, so candid with us in this conversation today.
Speaker 2:And you know, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for turning something that you love into a business. I'm proud of you for being so great at it. I'm more proud of you for learning when to step away from this business that when it was no longer serving jade. I'm really, I'm really proud of you. I'm honored that you, you, you gave us the gift of your time. You know you may not see it or even feel it, um, but you are brave and as much as you share your artistry with the world, you've also shared your strength and I totally salute you. I thank you and I celebrate you. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 3:Thank you, it's been a privilege and your words are just so kind and I'm very, very grateful. So thank you, I love what you're doing here and I think it's a great, great thing to do.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Why don't we should just do a bake-along or something on the foundations website? Well, we could talk about that.
Speaker 3:That would be fun. Oh my God, we can I know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should, because you know what. I believe that girls and women need to hear more from you, and we're going to talk about this offline, thank you. But thank you all for listening. This has been a slice of joy. It wasn't a slice, there was something here for everyone. Jade brought the pie, she brought the tart, she brought the cake, she brought the whole baking. So I'm truly honored. So thank you, jade, for joining us.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, I'm so grateful thank you for tuning in to the cake therapy podcast. Your support means the world to us. Let us know what you thought about today's episode in the comment section. Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and if you found the conversation helpful, please share it with a friend. Also, follow sugar spoon desserts on all social media platforms. We invite you to support cake therapy and the work we do with our foundation by clicking on the buy me a coffee link in the description or by visiting the cake therapy website and making a donation. All your support will go towards the kick therapy foundation and the work we are doing to help women and girls. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you on the next episode.